A short poem I just wrote (please critique)

[Exeson]

this is a very short poem I just whipped up.

Hope

The power and the raging passion,
Of that gleaming little mark,
The un-embodied strength,
That small living spark,

Shining trough the curtain,
Flashing like a burning dart,
Lighting the certain path,
That shining strength of heart,

That which you cannot capture,
Or cage in bars of dark,
Its song - blissful rapture,
Its power - our hallmark.

[Leather_Book_Wizard]

I like it. Nice rhymes and stuff. Could you criticize my poem? it's on down the page and appears to be so under the radar its above it.

[Dib]

Hurray for poems!

Stupid English Lit making me look at them in different ways *tries to forget lessons*

I like it

stupid englit ruining my life...

Keep it up

[Exeson]

Hurray for poems!

Stupid English Lit making me look at them in different ways *tries to forget lessons*

I like it

stupid englit ruining my life...

Keep it up

Ha! you should see my Anthology, its covered in doodles and scrawlings because I just get so bored in English.

[Dib]

Nice one! XP

I do the same in math o.O

*runs off to post poem of own*

you inspired me to do it, so there!!