LGBT people in the playground

[Pyro]

I'll join the group of onlooking/supporting/psychoanalyzing straight people. However, I do have a question, and this seems like a good place to ask. I had a conversation with a good friend a while ago, which went something like this:

Friend: "I have something to tell you. I'm bi."

Me: "Okay."

*Pause*

Me: "Wanna play Starcraft?"

Now, did I respond in the right way? I really don't care about his orientation, but I don't want to hurt him because I don't care.

Had a conversation like that with one of my friends, cept it stopped at the okay part and left a really awkward silence. Then the following day I tried not to remember he told me that. I'm still friends with the guy and have come to terms to him being bi. O those things that we do....then later regret.

[Traveling_Angel]

I suppose, in some respects you reacted in a correct way. I mean you could have insulted him or laughed in his face but you didn't and thats good. Where you went wrong is your nonchalant attitude. Its a big deal when someone comes out of the closet and you should have made a bigger deal than "Wanna play starcraft". Im not saying next time you see him dance around in joy that he told you or that you should even bring it up again. But next time he starts to talk about it tell him that you're glad he told you and that theres nothing wrong with being bi/ gay. Some people need a gradual transition into life changes, make him feel that its nothing different (not that it is but you know how people can be)
Errr... I hope that helped

(Edit: I got QFT'd for the first time ever )

Maybe I should clarify some of the subtext here.

1. I've know this guy since first grade, and he knows my views.
2. A mutual friend is also in the room and listening (he apparently already knew)
3. We both go to a high school where the vast majority is okay with LGBT and other "weird" things (heck, some people smoke various illegal stuff on campus!).

So I think he was beginning with some very safe areas, and I don't think he was horribly upset, because he knew what I would think.

I also was trying to say that it won't harm our friendship.

Also, this was about 9 months ago, and we see each other at school most every day. He seems to be fine.

[SMEE]

Awww.
One more thing, and this is for me (and not a complaint, but a question).
Okay, so I've decided I feel (or am more comfortable feeling) feminine. That's fine.
Online... well, it's easy. All I have to do is put up a female gender sign/avatar and I'm set. But how can I help myself feel more feminine in real life without making it completely obvious to everyone? I've found I can just visualize myself as a woman, and that helps, but still...

A slight more feminine ring, a bracelet and a gender neutral pair of earrings did it for me.

Of course, my little brother and my mother gathered that I was a transexual from those... So, use at your own discretion.

[Ceska]

So, anyways, I'm all about Androgyny, and would love to appear as either man or woman when I felt the need. A double spirit type deal. Rather than be one or the other or neither, I seek to find a way where I can be one, but also be able to shift back to the other, depending upon how I'm feeling, you know? It's why I have two AIM accounts, Rex Idiotarum and Regina Idiotarum, which I use depending upon how I'm feeling. Not a Neither, but an Either.

Unfortunately it doesn't work like this in real life most of the time.

I also was trying to say that it won't harm our friendship.

Also, this was about 9 months ago, and we see each other at school most every day. He seems to be fine.

Well, if it was so long ago the harm done, if there was any, probably will have healed. Still it would be good to tell him exactly that, that you respect him as he is and it will not harm your friendship. Sometimes being tactless about those things can be exactly the correct reaction though, so what do I know?

[PhoeKun]

One more thing, and this is for me (and not a complaint, but a question).
Okay, so I've decided I feel (or am more comfortable feeling) feminine. That's fine.
Online... well, it's easy. All I have to do is put up a female gender sign/avatar and I'm set. But how can I help myself feel more feminine in real life without making it completely obvious to everyone? I've found I can just visualize myself as a woman, and that helps, but still...

A list of things that I have done (that might help, given your quandary):

1) Worn women's jeans. For one thing, a size six actually fits, and for another, nobody can really tell which cut is which. Unless its those low-cut jeans, but... bleh. Have some taste.

2) Gotten a manicure.

3) Experimented with jewelry. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets. All are either fairly innocuous or easily concealable.

4) Grown longer hair.

5) Strangely enough, I've found the natural feminine features of my body (mostly the face) tend to be much more pronounced when I'm wearing a hooded sweatshirt. That may just be how I'm seeing things, but we're talking about self perception, right?

[StickMan]

Traveling_Angel: I know a guy who when he came out to his best friend said "OK cool" 10 mins later he made a gay joke. He just stared at his friend and then the guy said "What just cause your Gay you think I'm going to change, that would be discriminatory". He told me that is when he knew they be ok so you could have done worse.

[SMEE]

Vael:
Also, shave or wax your arms and legs.
It'll help you percieve yourself as a woman.
(Well, it helped me... )

Hot wax epilation is quite fun and almost painless.

[PhoeKun]

Vael:
Also, shave or wax your arms and legs.
It'll help you percieve yourself as a woman.
(Well, it helped me... )

Hot wax epilation is quite fun and almost painless.

I completely forgot to mention that one. Although, I've never tried wax; I've been way too afraid...

[SMEE]

I do it about twice per month.

It's not as painful as people say.

Well, it may be quite painful in the first time you wax, but that's because the hair roots are quite strong. They'll be far weaker from there on and will come out more easily.

You should try it sometime, Phoe.

[AmberVael]

Oh yes, I've been meaning to wax off my facial hair, come to think of it.
Seriously, whether I want to be feminine or no, I practically have to shave twice a day my hair grows so much. >.<

[SMEE]

Oh... waxing facial hair can be quite painful.
More so in the first time, when the roots are strong.

In fact, I had my facial hair and my legs waxed today.

Still, I do that twice per month as well. Until I can afford laser and electrolysis. Then, I'll definitly get rid of it.

[PhoeKun]

I've heard that lasers aren't all that great at hair removal, though.

But I'm definitely going to have to try waxing, as soon as I manage to get a paycheck (gods willing, tomorrow). Thanks for bringing it up/reminding me, SMEE.

[AmberVael]

I've also heard that lasers are very expensive for hair removal. >>
*hugs bank account*

[SDF]

Well, lasers can be effective, but they are both expensive and painful.

Ahem, anyway... I think what the whole thing comes to is love, and if it came to it I would rather be with a boy I love than alone, or even with a girl that I didn't love. Of course that is like saying genes look like twizzlers, and there are things like family and societal stigma to consider, but it's worth it isn't it?

But uh, yeah... *turns on All You Need is Love, puts on his Lennon glasses, and plays is Rick*

[Barrin]

I'll join the group of onlooking/supporting/psychoanalyzing straight people. However, I do have a question, and this seems like a good place to ask. I had a conversation with a good friend a while ago, which went something like this:

Friend: "I have something to tell you. I'm bi."

Me: "Okay."

*Pause*

Me: "Wanna play Starcraft?"

Now, did I respond in the right way? I really don't care about his orientation, but I don't want to hurt him because I don't care.

First of all; potentially, you did. Some people will want the normal, others will want 'And you're still you - hell, as long as you don't pursue a crush on me, I really don't care.'

Secondly - Starcraft is a fricken' awesome game. You can't go wrong with Starcraft.

[Serpentine]

I can't remember how my high school friend came out... but then, this is the guy with the nickname "Britney" Not to mention the guy who wore his sexuality like an accessory. Why, oh why did he think I wanted to know the intimate details of his escapades with middle-aged men?

[Closet_Skeleton]

I've never felt particularly masculine as a guy and I find most masculine stereotypes to be quite negative. Whenever people talk about feeling or wanting to feel female their thoughts sound completely alien to me.

I just can't understand what the fuss is about.

[Faithdreamer]

I wanted to say something that may help everyone here, my first idea was 'there are more than I thought at GitP', my second was something along the lines of 'wow, they know how to write to eachother, don't they?'

The third thought?

Vorpal Tribble Avatar floating across the screen singing...

"I'm too hetero for this thread, too hetero blah, blah whatever comes next, so hetero it huuuuuurts."

Imagination.

I don't really know what to say...

Does anyone Dream?
If you run into a Dreamer, they're probably not doing it on-purpose.

I wanted to keep this one to myself until I wrote something but that's just silly.


It's easy to fall and easier still not to notice you've gone
Wearing white I started to climb and fell down my Purity went away
All this time to find an idea so wonderful
Wouldn't it be something to tell a story about how you climbed
Up instead of down?
From the shadows beyond the stairs to the sky and view above
Breathe deep, make the rain fall
Besides, it's hard falling over all the time


You should understand it's not exactly (of course it is. Exactly.) Heaven's wisdom.
--Faithdreamer

[SMEE]

I've heard that lasers aren't all that great at hair removal, though.

But I'm definitely going to have to try waxing, as soon as I manage to get a paycheck (gods willing, tomorrow). Thanks for bringing it up/reminding me, SMEE.

Yes, it's not as effective as one would want.
But electrolysis around here can be pretty expensive. One session (120 minutes worth of pain and suffering ) usually cost me $68.
I'd need to do at least 3 of those per month, which would mean about $204 per month.
Laser will cost me about $188 per session, and I have to do 4 sessions, doing one session every one month and a half.
So, it'll be cheaper for me to go for laser and then electrolysis to get rid of whatever's left.

[Faithdreamer]

There should be more to that idea in case something bad happens like an I've ruined mortal existance again...

Knocked down below
Look up from your place down low
You never Fell
'Cause you're always under Heaven

(Unless you're not, I mean naturally there might be like, DoomMacGuffin destroyer of all existing universes or... well Heaven's Earth as Earth is to Heaven, of course I don't get it either but it's important that I understand that and I sort of do, so I can't say anymore, maybe I was trying to sound reassuring? Come off it, that first so-called poetic theatric up there was nasty evil stuff but it was still good as can be. It's Good/Evil on the alignment axis. Oh, well.

4748 for luck, numbers are numbers after all, numbers are just that.)

--Faithdreamer

P.S

Those had nothing to do with any of this and I've gone at MAYBE ruined everything with something that MIGHT mean what it clearly doesn't or DOES mean because that's what it means depending on what everyone thought it meant.

But on the good side of things at least it made people think.

I'll stop before I start and having begun the process of stopping I'll say one last thing that I hope doesn't stop the magic:

LOVE! *Not a hug but hug'd in spirit*

[Serpentine]

...what? I don't understand what you're trying to say

[Faithdreamer]

*bow* Goodbye Thread.

[Serpentine]

That didn't so much make me think as make me very confused

[Rex Idiotarum]

I respect your views on the matter, but if I wasn't already going to Hell for extreme blasphemy, being a complete jerk to everyone, and constantly betraying friends((They deserve it)), I doubt this will keep me from Heaven.

[AmberVael]

Ah, but you have to love people who are unnecessarily vague and enigmatic because they think it makes them look cool. >>

Vael's thoughts:
Language was created for communication- communication is conveying thoughts and ideas, hopefully in an accurate manner.
If you don't say what you mean (IE, lie) that's one thing. But attempting to convey something while at the same time not being straightforwards about it usually just means you're wasting your time, since people have no idea what you're saying, and you just look foolish because you can't properly convey your thoughts or use language as it was meant to be used.


I have a similar philosophy on walking from one place to another, but that doesn't fit here.
>>
<<

*backs up to topic*

SMEE, did you mean $68.00? The comma threw me off.

[SMEE]

Ah yes, I did.

Number rules around here says that you use a comma before the decimal part of number, not a dot, and I usually get kinda confused about it.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Vael, I've been telling Teru that for some time now... ((Faithdreamer, PM me with a reply if I'm get what you're getting at.))

[Closet_Skeleton]

Ah, but you have to love people who are unnecessarily vague and enigmatic because they think it makes them look cool.

Maybe they're not trying to be cool. Maybe they're just useless at social situations and say things mysteriously because they can only reveal their thoughts if they think people are unlikely to understand them.

[Ceska]

*bow* Goodbye Thread.

"Those that know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity." Nietzsche, Gay Science, Aphorism 173. Took me some time to find the translation.

As for feelings of curiosity, only one man has ever made me question my sexuality, but I'm sure that many men would agreee with me. Brad Pitt is just too sexy to be a man.

Brad Pitt does look good, but I prefer Johnny Depp myself. Even though he has a stupid surname.

[Quincunx]

The music has not improved and the beatings will continue!