Hilarious Moments of DnD Games

[Conners]

This thread is for posting interesting or funny things which have happened in DnD games you played or DMed.

Examples (hidden in case these things have actually happened to you, so as not to spoil it):

Spoiler

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Perhaps a player attacked the darkness--accidentally killing the main villain of the campaign who was following them while invisible. Or maybe you defeated the level 16 High Drow Priestess of Lolth-- when you're a wizard with no high level spells left --by casting a light spell on her eyes.

Well, good luck . If you need me, I'll be starting some more humorous threads.

[A.Sondergaard]

The look on my player's face when his Supreme Power Attack Leap Attacking Heedless Charging Frenzied Berserker only did 26 damage on the BBEG's lackey was priceless.

The other 400-some points were ignored, due to Elusive Target. Then, due to him having taken a penalty to his AC equal to his BAB, he proceeded to take 9 solid unarmed strikes, which pretty much killed him.
I'll teach my players to use ridiculously stupid builds.

[Abjurer]

So I build this trap, which I'm quite fond of. It's a five-foot-wide corridor, with a stone doorway at each end. When the party enters, thick adamantine doors fall down into the doorways, sealing them in, and the floor drops out. Since this was a high-level campaign, I had an antimagic field trigger when the trap springs, too.

The party comes upon a narrow corridor. The party druid is sad, because his bear cannot fit through the opening. So he casts reduce animal on his animal companion. He tucks his now teddy-sized grizzly bear beneath his arm and follows the rest of the party inside. The doors close. The floor drops out. The bear resumes its normal size.

The bear is now wedged in the corridor, forty some feet above the rest of the party, which has fallen into the dungeon complex below. A few goblins with class levels show up to hack at the PCs, and the PCs slaughter them. The PCs celebrate, and the bear pops out of the ceiling and lands on one of them.

...I guess you had to be there...

[Conners]

Heheh, that'll show him .

....... LOL!!! That one really had me laughing !
Tell me: Did, it kill the PC?

[mockingbyrd7]

In the group's second or third session, we were investigating a chain of kidnappings (campaign: The Shackled City - please no spoilers) and were in a gnome locksmith's home/shop. Apparently, creatures have been coming from below his shop and entering into the city, and he was forced to give them the keys. Around this time, my ranger makes a brilliant spot check and notices that under a cauldron in the center of the room, two beady yellow eyes are watching us. I exclaim at the top of my lungs, "BEADY EYES UNDER THE CAULDRON!!" The DM chuckles and says, "Well, you didn't specifically say "out of character", so the eyes vanish. A moment later, dozens of creatures come bursting out of the secret doorway under the cauldron. Roll initiative." We were all laughing so hard that we couldn't roll. "Beady eyes under the cauldron" has been an inside joke ever since.

I have lots of other stories, I'll be back later.

[Lady Tialait]

well I run a campaign that started at level 1 and is now in epics (level 37 epic enough?) They started by fighting the cult of Vecna...now they are against Vecna himself.

What made everyone unable to continue the game was when good old' Mordy came upto the party with a warning "You cannot Kill a God!" the palidan leaned forward and in total seriousness said "Yes....but we're learning" we cracked up...now anytime someone says 'You cannot' we say 'we're learning' ....even when we watch LoTR...Gandolf 'You Shall Not Pass"..."Yes...but he's learning"....I still giggle when I think about it...

[Suzuro]

A campaign I am in is only like...level three, and our druid tried to use create water in an evil guy's throat...the conversation went something like this

Druid: "I create water in his throat!"
DM: "You can't do that!"
Druid: "The spell doesn't say I cant"
DM: "....RIGHT THERE! FIRST LINE! Ya know what? Magical backlash, you're drowning."
Druid: "*Gurglegurgle*"




-Suzuro

[Zenos]

So I build this trap, which I'm quite fond of. It's a five-foot-wide corridor, with a stone doorway at each end. When the party enters, thick adamantine doors fall down into the doorways, sealing them in, and the floor drops out. Since this was a high-level campaign, I had an antimagic field trigger when the trap springs, too.

The party comes upon a narrow corridor. The party druid is sad, because his bear cannot fit through the opening. So he casts reduce animal on his animal companion. He tucks his now teddy-sized grizzly bear beneath his arm and follows the rest of the party inside. The doors close. The floor drops out. The bear resumes its normal size.

The bear is now wedged in the corridor, forty some feet above the rest of the party, which has fallen into the dungeon complex below. A few goblins with class levels show up to hack at the PCs, and the PCs slaughter them. The PCs celebrate, and the bear pops out of the ceiling and lands on one of them.

...I guess you had to be there...

I just got a new villain concept. Eight-year old lvl 20 druid girl walking around with her animal companion dire bear disguised as a teddy bear.
Then, when the PC's come...
The cute little teddy bears turns into one ton of rage.

I don't have any very hilarious moments, but I remember when my bard made an illusion of summoning eight fiendish trolls. Those ogres ran fast.

[Durendal]

In one of the campaigns I'm in now my druid, the rest of the party, and a summoned thoqqua collapsed a column and part of the ceiling of the dungeon we were in on top of a enlarged, mutated owlbear. It went something like this:

Said owlbear shows up and comes charging at us through a broken doorway. The party (my dwarf druid and fire elemental companion, a dwarf ranger, an elf duskblade , and a human cleric; all about level 6 at this time) are currently caring an injured hound archon along the wall of the main corridor of this dungeon. I end up first in the order and try to move away from the action, to which my DM responds that I can't move that way becuase there's a column in the way. This is where I get the idea to drop the column that I just noticed onto the owlbear that is conviently planted smack dab between two columns.

I take my turn and stone shape a wedge out of the bottom of the column (like if you've ever cut down a large tree). The duskblade hits the owlbear with a quick cast and channeled ray of enfeeblement and ray of exhaustion. The ranger tries to drag the wounded hound archon out of the way, but draws an AoO. Then the owlbear goes and does this weird thing that hits as all with a blast of force that knocks everyone but me backwards (thank you dwarven stability) and then moves forward. Now the owlbear isn't as well situated so the cleric summons a celestial bison (couldn't summon anything bigger due to room restrictions) and has it bull rush without provoking (thanks to the ranger) the strength drained owlbear back between the columns. My turn rolls around again and I summon a thoqqua in the top of the column and command it to shoot out away from the owlbear. Effictively I created a thoqqua missile that created enouh force to blow the column into the owlbear, squashing it neatly.

We laughed so long after that becuase it was so hairbrained and it just barely worked.

[Yami]

DM: You see four horsemen atop the next hill, most likely enemy scouts.
Barbarian: I rage and charge towards them
Mage 1: I Make an illusion of a red dragon in front of us, mouth open.
Mage 2: Fireball through it's mouth.

Dm: Nice, two survive and run like hades back the way they came, nice job.
Barb: Umm, raged. I follow.
Party: Might as well, we follow.
DM: right... well you crest the hill and see the rest of the army quickly striking camp in the distance...
Mage 2: crap, I run.
Party: agreed!
Barb: Raged!
Mage 1: well looks like you roll up a new character.
Mage 2: Wait, I got this. Magic missle the Barbarian.

DM: Okay then, while raging you're hit from behind by your supposed allies. They are in fact much closer than the army.
Barb: hmmm, well I suppose I would turn around and go after them instead.
Mage 1 & 2: wait.... MOUNT!

A few rounds later
Party: How the blazes did you get that kind of run speed.
Barb: *grin*

[Conners]

DM: You see four horsemen atop the next hill, most likely enemy scouts.
Barbarian: I rage and charge towards them
Mage 1: I Make an illusion of a red dragon in front of us, mouth open.
Mage 2: Fireball through it's mouth.

Dm: Nice, two survive and run like hades back the way they came, nice job.
Barb: Umm, raged. I follow.
Party: Might as well, we follow.
DM: right... well you crest the hill and see the rest of the army quickly striking camp in the distance...
Mage 2: crap, I run.
Party: agreed!
Barb: Raged!
Mage 1: well looks like you roll up a new character.
Mage 2: Wait, I got this. Magic missle the Barbarian.

DM: Okay then, while raging you're hit from behind by your supposed allies. They are in fact much closer than the army.
Barb: hmmm, well I suppose I would turn around and go after them instead.
Mage 1 & 2: wait.... MOUNT!

A few rounds later
Party: How the blazes did you get that kind of run speed.
Barb: *grin*

Lol! So, the Barbarian caught up with a mounted party ? How much damage did he do to you?

[Vael Nir]

Lol! So, the Barbarian caught up with a mounted party ? How much damage did he do to you?

I'm assuming all of it.

[Emperor Demonking]

Stuff

I don't think rage works that way.

[Captain van der Decken]

It can if it wants to.

[Zenos]

Good roleplaying. Well, maybe not good roleplaying. But it was FUNNY roleplaying.

[UserClone]

Only if he PrC'ed into Frenzied Berserker.

[Brauron]

This is the story of...the Spoon of Doom.

The party ends up in a tavern named "The Greasy Spoon."

Inside, on the bar, is a bowl of silver pieces, and we ask the bartender/innkeeper about it. He explains that there is a running bet in the establishment. He has been using the same spoon to cook with, every night, for more then 10 years. It has never been cleaned. For a SP, an individual could lick the spoon. If they remained standing, they got the money that people had put in over the years.

Naturally, my Barbarian tries. Fails. Tries again as soon as he regains consciousness. Fails again. Tries again as soon as he regains consciousness. Fails. Is prevented from trying again that night by the innkeeper, who doesn't want anybody dying on his property. The next night, I try again. Fail. Try again. NATURAL 20 on my Fort save, and I remain standing. The innkeeper is in awe, saying that nobody has ever one in all the years he's had the contest going.

I go to pick up the bowl of SP, and the innkeeper says, "Hold on a minute" and pulls two buckets of coins out from behind the bar. All total, it worked out to about 10 GP, 1,600 SP and 20 CP.

[FlyMolo]

How does he cook with it without poisoning the whole bar? If one lick knocks you out, how does he manage to cook with it? (what does he cook all the time? vodka and tranquilizer pancakes?)

[Arbitrarity]

Why have 1702 people licked a spoon, and none had a natural 20?

Odds on that are so low that calc.exe is using e-38, which is... low

[ForzaFiori]

This is the story of...the Spoon of Doom.

The party ends up in a tavern named "The Greasy Spoon."

Inside, on the bar, is a bowl of silver pieces, and we ask the bartender/innkeeper about it. He explains that there is a running bet in the establishment. He has been using the same spoon to cook with, every night, for more then 10 years. It has never been cleaned. For a SP, an individual could lick the spoon. If they remained standing, they got the money that people had put in over the years.

Naturally, my Barbarian tries. Fails. Tries again as soon as he regains consciousness. Fails again. Tries again as soon as he regains consciousness. Fails. Is prevented from trying again that night by the innkeeper, who doesn't want anybody dying on his property. The next night, I try again. Fail. Try again. NATURAL 20 on my Fort save, and I remain standing. The innkeeper is in awe, saying that nobody has ever one in all the years he's had the contest going.

I go to pick up the bowl of SP, and the innkeeper says, "Hold on a minute" and pulls two buckets of coins out from behind the bar. All total, it worked out to about 10 GP, 1,600 SP and 20 CP.

hm...i hate to break it to your DM, but the heat from cooking with it would most likely kill off any bacteria on the spoon, effectively cleaning it (much like sterilizing a blade by passing it through fire)

[Yami]

I don't think rage works that way.

It does. Break open your copy of the AD&D players hadnbook (I think that's where it was) and check on it. A raging barbarian will not end combat until all threats are eliminated or out of sight for some many rounds. Not wanting him to be killed the wizard had magic missled him so as to count as a threat and get the player away from the army. Only then did he realize the true ramifications of his actions.

And if I remeber correctly only the fleeing wizard was mounted the rest were on foot and scared to death that they'd be slaughtered. Fourtunately the blood wanted wasn't thiers. Sadly the barbarian could only run as fast as the wizard's mount. Still it had been only been four hours since the party had left the forest and wandered into the plains. so we had the wizard fleeing for his life on a magical steed while an untiring killing machine chased him down. And then the hunt through the woods as the barbarian kept spotting his prey who was trying very hard to lose him.

Ah, good times. In the end they all survived though every one was pretty edgy for the rest of the night until they met up the next morning. Save the Barbarian, I think he dropped due to exhaustion.

[tyckspoon]

Well, you didn't mention you weren't playing 3.5, now did you? (Pretty sure the Barbarian wasn't in the AD&D PHB; that sounds like one of the assorted kits or alternate base classes, and the PHB didn't have very many of those.) Modern barbarians are allowed to stop raging whenever the heck they want, unless they've taken other classes that have more extreme rages like Frenzied Berserker.

[Kaelik]

Well, you didn't mention you weren't playing 3.5, now did you? (Pretty sure the Barbarian wasn't in the AD&D PHB; that sounds like one of the assorted kits or alternate base classes, and the PHB didn't have very many of those.) Modern barbarians are allowed to stop raging whenever the heck they want, unless they've taken other classes that have more extreme rages like Frenzied Berserker.

In addition, 3.5 Barbarians are never going to rage for more then 30 rounds outside of some crazy builds.

[dragoncmd]

This is from my second session of D&D (2nd edition too). We had 16 party members, 3 of which were rogues. (The party was levels 1-3)

Being the only half intelligent rogue(not sure if the others were more or less intelligent than me) I decided to scout ahead of the party. The DM gave me a 3 round head start and was not reducing my speed due to stealth. Naturally I stumbled upon the troll batalian before the rest of the party did (I don't remeber the exact numbers), that was being lead by a very nasty three headed monster of the same race. I decided that I wanted to see how sneak attacking actually worked, so after the party shut up and gave me my turn (16 people mind you, thats about 10 minutes right there) I followed behind the group and backstabbed the last trol in the line right as they met the party. The DM seeing how unbelievably stupid I was. Just said "gain two levels" Later I realized that he seriously did not expect me to survive the next round. I then high tailed it out of there, and ended up finding the treasure room while the rest of the party was still in the middle of the fight.

The same DM later put us in a worm tunnel. when we found the worm our wizard cast a fireball. unfortunately our DM subscribed to the belief that fireballs should expand to their full size no matter the size of the tunnel...

End result?

Wurm: Lightly signed
Party: Almost all dead

[drunkmonk]

A long time ago we played a game where my brother changed a existing encounter with a ogre mage. It involved a character that was going to reward each character with a magic item for a side quest, when we got back an ogre mage had replaced the guy.

He gave us each a cursed magic item. Included a (not kidding) belt of Fem/masc. We (the players) figured out what was happing about half way through, but we wanted to keep going just to see what each of the other guys were going to get.

Good times.

DM

[Xefas]

Mind, the following story occurs in 2nd edition, where everyone could do anything so long as the DM made some ad hoc ruling about it. I'm glad those days are over, but situations like this did occur, which made the experiences with the system worthwhile.

The PCs are being chased by a gang of corrupt policemen working for the local organized crime syndicate (thieves' guild?). After ascertaining that they couldn't fight them all at once, they began fleeing through the city streets. A few checks dodging through crowds later, they ask where they are exactly. I tell them that they're around the location of their first encounter with the mafia in the city, not completely remembering where that was. Immediately one shouts "Wait...wasn't there a brothel near there?!"

Minutes later, they were on the second floor, using the doorway into a whore's bedroom as a choke-point to fight the policemen one at a time. After routing them, the general round of "I loot the corpses!" shot up. I exclaimed something like "What do you honestly expect to find in HERE?". They said they didn't know, but were looting everything they could get their hands on before hightailing it out of the city.

Long story short, a few alleyways over, they were trapped on all sides by guardsmen, who then disarmed them all. A crowd gathered, and the Captain of the Guard stepping in to kill them personally, in front of everyone, as a public relations move. With little else to do, the rogue yells "WAIT! The underwear we looted! I run up behind the captain and shove a pair of panties onto his head!"

With a dawning of comprehension, the fighter joins in with "I draw the hooker bra and attack with it! NATURAL TWENTY!"

The bra strap got the captain right in the eyes, blinding him permanently, and then he was subsequently strangled to death with a corset.

Best public execution ever.

[kentma57]

I'm not sure how funny this is to other people but, this happened to our 5th level party...

I was playing in a Oriental adverntures campaign and there where six of us to start, well after some huge evil army begain a masive rampage we came across the former capital of a recently conquered country. So at this point all the people controlling our melee characters have to leave (so we losse our melee fighters) but our three casters press on; we walk into the city kill after killing some soldiers we hide in a building to get more spells. When we wake up we basicaly walk right into the general who captured this city, a 16th level shadow crafter(melee/caster combo) and we actualy manage to kill him and his two bodyguards(this was ment to be an encounter we avoid). The rest on the army runs is terror from us, and we now have our own city(something that helped us greatly in founding the ZAFT empire).

[Zocelot]

Raging level 1 Brb with 18 COn (22 health total) being killed in the first round of the first battle in the campaign

"Is there a squirrel around? I want to try something"

[expirement10K14]

So we were playing Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, and the paladin got depravity (taint from HoH), and he was crazed. We walk into a cave and are suprised by a bugbear, and the only way for him was back out of the cave. The only problem was that 10ft from where he ran from, outside of the cave, was a 100ft cliff. He rolled a natural one on his balance check, which he had to make because he was fleeing hysterically so he would have a hard time making a sharp turn, and fell off the cliff.
We now refer to his character as Sir Falls A Lot.

[Koolzo]

We have so many hilarious moments, but a lot of them you had to have been there for... But, let's try anyway, shall we?

Okay, so the party was about Level 10, with only 3 people, I believe. They walked onto some stones with mystical markings on them that they had previously visited at about level 5 or 6. All of a sudden, because of some lunar event (hey, gotta' use it sometime), the party is trapped as walls suddenly spring up, closing them inside the confines of the stones, and a dimensional portal appears.

Out steps the BBEG, who happens to be a Blackguard 10/Paladin 1/Fighter 4, with a +4 wounding halberd, a massive AC, shock trooper, and combat brute, and that other feat from Complete Warrior that allows you an extra attack with a halberd (Spinning Halberd, isn't it?).

So, this was supposed to be a huge, epic battle. First round of combat, and the BBEG (named Alhandra, btw, which is an interesting story in and of itself) goes first, somehow. Shock trooper for all of the armor class that she could muster, and charged at the spellcaster. She needed just about anything other than a one to hit her. What happened? A one. Not only that, but since we play with the fumble variant, she failed her DC 10 Dex check, so she missed her next turn.

The party starts killing her (no surprise there). However, she's still doing okay. So she does combat brute for the triple damage and attacks one of the melee PCs that are attacking her.

A one. Again.

And then she failed her Dex check. Again.

The party took her down in four rounds, and suffered not a single wound. Alhandra was only able to act twice.

Oh, the party laughed so hard! I laughed too (while secretly plotting their demise with a stronger, better BBEG for revenge...).

Ugh. Stupid blackguards.