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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Szilard's Avatar

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    Default A comic I made for Homework

    A while ago I had to make a childrens book explaining the American Bill of Rights for history homework. I have decided to show it here, because I did it in OotS style.
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    page 3
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    Page 4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Bravo Szilard. Bravo!
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    And Szilard, great job! You make me proud!
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    Szilard is wise.
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    (is given to Szilard. With bow. Clothes optional.)
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Retired Mod in the Playground Retired Moderator
     
    kpenguin's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Nice job. Nice job.

    Will probably get turned to shreds by some legal fanatics out there, but nice job nonetheless.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Almighty Salmon's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Nice work! Not a bad job at all.

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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Szilard's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Well it is for... whered I put that paper? *looks through trash*... I threw the assignment paper away, but it was for 2nd or 3rd graders, and we didn't have to include everything, but I think I did due process wrong.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Bravo Szilard. Bravo!
    Quote Originally Posted by Oblivion View Post
    And Szilard, great job! You make me proud!
    Quote Originally Posted by Sneak View Post
    Szilard is wise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    In Soviet Russia, internet give you.
    (is given to Szilard. With bow. Clothes optional.)
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lyinginbedmon's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    My ideas about American law have certainly been, in some way, vindicated, but other than a few misspellings here and there it looks alright

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Shas aia Toriia's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Not a legal fanatic, but you might not want to use "The End" at the end. Teachers view it as a poor way to wrap up something. Also, you might want to not use the word "stuff" as much as you did.

    That is all for today.
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    Avvies by Z-Axis, now bearer of 3 divine rank.
    So you may have heard of Lord Herman. Well, he's pretty awesome.
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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Nameless's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Quote Originally Posted by Shas'aia Toriia View Post
    Not a legal fanatic, but you might not want to use "The End" at the end. Teachers view it as a poor way to wrap up something. Also, you might want to not use the word "stuff" as much as you did.

    That is all for today.
    But, this is a comic so all endings are accepted!

    Although you could have that dude at the end saying "And that's the end folks, remember to give us money, if you don't I will slowly mangle your face through a blender" Or something of that nature.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Troll in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Great comic.

    About a possible ending, maybe something like this: "This was all people and remember: Pay your taxes on time."

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Illiterate Scribe's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    I liked 'cruel and unusual punishment' in particular.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    mockingbyrd7's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    It was funny, informative, OotS-style, and reader-friendly. A third grader could understand it but anyone could enjoy it. I felt that you over used the word "also" (try using "as well" after a sentence, "in addition" before one, "too" after one, etc.) but it was good and enjoyable in every other respect. Good job.
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  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Tengu's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    Several typos, which will probably have a slightly negative impact on the comic as a homework. I can list them for you if you'd like.

    Apart from that, very nice.

    Birdman of the Church of Link's Hat

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Szilard's Avatar

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    Default Re: A comic I made for Homework

    I think I had many of the same two typos, I spelled Amendment with two m's on the first page and I spelled your instead of you're.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Bravo Szilard. Bravo!
    Quote Originally Posted by Oblivion View Post
    And Szilard, great job! You make me proud!
    Quote Originally Posted by Sneak View Post
    Szilard is wise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    In Soviet Russia, internet give you.
    (is given to Szilard. With bow. Clothes optional.)
    ABR: SDSB Archive



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