bard instruments

[Sleet]

I have three words for you.

Ogre combat piano.

[Khosan]

singing tecno music

I had a funny image of a gnome running through a battlefield, waving a glow-stick around and frantically shouting, "unce unce unce unce," as he tries to keep his teammates buffed.

As for my input. Riverdance. Nothing can beat a team of Bards Riverdancing down the field.

[MorkaisChosen]

Perform: Conduct

To anyone who doesn't play classical music: I mean the guy at the front waving his hands around to keep everyone in time.

Actually, if I ever DM, I'm hugely tempted to put in a Dwarf Brass Band who all use Bard abilities to use Sonic damage spells, maybe with the Trombone section multiclassed into Drunken Master...

[loves_to_laugh]

Perform: Power Ballad

You don't need instruments, 'cos all you have to do is start singing and the environment instantly becomes dramatic (wind, rain and lightning effects abound!) and music comes out of nowhere, just like in a music video .

I think this one is pretty awesome. I mean how perfect is that? Especially if you are trying to be epic.

Also, I think if you take Perform(yodel) you should also take the Alphorn
(the horn that the riccola guy uses).

[Inhuman Bot]

I laughed so hard reading this thread I fell off my chair.....really.

Ideas:
evil bard: preform: rap,polka,improv, teeth from victims used to make a maraka with a skull and femur and breakdancing ( where do you THINK dance of ruin came from?)
feat: music video.

good bard: mini piano,whistle, ocorina and musical door slamming.

and from my freind...preform: poledance. Never speak of this again.

[Corlis]

Sharpen the body of an electric guitar and it can be your axe in more ways than one

[Sstoopidtallkid]

and from my friend...preform: poledance. Never speak of this again.

Only if you play an evil gnome or dwarf.

[mabriss lethe]

not serious: mouth harp, scat (the music genre you pervs), crooning ala Frank Sinatra, spoons, two weapon fighting with bludgeoning weapons and perform (improvized percussion instrument),

Evil bard Vasharon probably., with Willing Deformity from BoVD, perform: (bell dancing) his/her deformity is a string of bells hung from a series of hooks sewn into the bards flesh. Take Dark Speech ASAP, and the Battle Dancer feat from PHBII

[MaelstromTrap]

My evil bard plays a wind stone. Basically, the wind goes through it and it makes noises. You get a nifty Fear Bonus.

It's also in the song and silence book.

[cupkeyk]

I am playing a bard who uses a menat/mithral breastplate.

[Talya]

Perform: Lipsync

[MartinHarper]

How about a grappling bard with Perform (partner dance)?

[Chronicled]

I imagine strings of Adamantine would have a sharp, sweet tone. Though your violin will sound very different due to all of the modifications to the bow that would have to be made. To get a good grip (and resonance) on the strings between the bow and strings if they are both metallic, you will need some kind of sticky liquid to lubricate the strings.

... Though blood would do the trick nicely. Your bard would need to bleed something before playing though unless you want your party deafened by squeals, instead of warmer sound.

Only in a fantasy world do instruments sound better just after having been used as a weapon.

*Copies this into his notes of stuff for future use*

I had a funny image of a gnome running through a battlefield, waving a glow-stick around and frantically shouting, "unce unce unce unce," as he tries to keep his teammates buffed.

[Admiral Squish]

Only in a fantasy world do instruments sound better just after having been used as a weapon.

I have an overwhelming urge to sig this. May I?

[obvious pun]

I suggest the fiddle. 'Cause ya never know when you'll have to beat the devil in a fiddle contest. And why get adamantite strings to slice your foes when a solid gold fiddle can be used to beat your enemies over the head.

Or you could use the kryptonian instrument in this comic

http://www.superdickery.com/other/2.html

[Willfor]

I have an overwhelming urge to sig this. May I?

Yeah, of course. I love being quoted.

[BRC]

Bard Varient: Mariachi. They play very loudly until the monsters give them loot to go away.

[loves_to_laugh]

and from my freind...preform: poledance. Never speak of this again.

I think this may stun your party members,
not make them courageous...

On the other hand, that could work to your advantage...

I sense some looting opportunities in the future....
Do they make portable poles?

[Inhuman Bot]

.... I said never speak of it again..

[The Faceless]

Perform: Guitar Hero

"Guys, last level means i got to rank 10. i think i can five star Knights of Cydonia on medium now, just in time for that group of blackguards we're meant to fight."

"Great! Take skill focus as your next feat, we could do with DragonForce for fighting that elder fire elemental the DM hinted at."

[The Extinguisher]

I've always wanted to take Perform (Stand Up Comedy)

[Felius]

.... I said never speak of it again..

Ok, so let's speak of: Perform (Striptease). It also have the advantage of not being dependent of a pole.

[Lochar]

Ok, so let's speak of: Perform (Striptease). It also have the advantage of not being dependent of a pole.

Yes, but then you can't use a masterwork item, as by the end of the performance, you'd have discarded the item.

With Preform: Poledance, you at least always have your pole.

[Chronos]

Do they make portable poles?

Aha! Yet another use for the Immovable Rod!

[zaei]

I'm not sure where the original image is from (though I'd love to know), but I think it has one of the more badass bard weapon ideas.

Spoiler

Show

It's enough to make me play a bard who doesn't use oratory for the mechanical benefits, just to have an instrument that bleeds.

I would also love to know where the original image is from, or if anyone has it (say, in a larger, more desktop background friendly size? =] ).

[Project_Mayhem]

Aha! Yet another use for the Immovable Rod!

(Applauds)

Also, how about perform(The Hustle)?

[leperkhaun]

i vote for the hubjo

[Leon]

Perform (Bad Poetry)

[The Chino]

Some of my personal favorites (for strange and unique purposes, not really comedic or over-the-top as it were):

-Aquaggaswack
-Beer Bottle Organ (One for those dwarves)
-Bikelophone (Yes, it's a real thing, sadly)
-Celestial Harp (Because it looks awesome)
-Double Violin (Played for 5 years, and still can't get that one right)
-Due Capi
-Gravikord
-Hang Drum (For shear bad*ss-ocity)
-Huaca
-Kalimba (Or thumb piano, I love this one)
-Musical Saw
-Pikasso (Without multiple limbs, I dont know HOW someone would master this, unless it was two halflings working in tandem or something)
-Ringflute (Also a personal favorite)
-Rumitone (Hope you don't get motion sickness)
-Sea Organ (not one you can play, but something you should enjoy nevertheless)
-Skatar (Yeah, it's awesome, and I wish I had thought of it first)
-Trump (Or Jaw Harp)
-Vegetables (Look around, there are tons of these on the net)

Most of these were sited from a book I got 3 christmas' ago on exotic instruments. Some were found here

[zaei]

Most of these were sited from a book I got 3 christmas' ago on exotic instruments. Some were found here

First one on that list, Perform(Aeolian Wind Harp). Laziest bard EVER.

Also: BROCCOLI OCARINA! BIGU SIZE DESU!