Born of the Wastes [Template][PEACH]

[criticalstriker]

These are some creations I've made for the Broken Lands of Koami, an area on southern Vulmic which consists entirely of a hellish, broken landscape.

Ash Creature

Born from the broken lands of Koami, ash creatures take on the appearance of creatures ranging from dragons to wolves, and exist solely to inflict pain upon others.

Its not known where, or when, or even why ash creatures are born. They seem to simply appear from the ashes, then vanish just as quickly. They have ravaged the lands of Koami for well over 37 tiers, and some believe there are documents referencing them going as far back as the 43rd tier, but that is debatable.

Physical Appearance
An ash creature has the same basic shape and features of the creature it mimics, with the exception of their eyes, which have orbs of pure darkness within them, and their flesh which is composed entirely of ash.

Creating an Ash Creature
"Ash Creature" as an inherited template which can be applied to any corporeal creature.
An ash creature uses all the base creature's statistics and special abilities except as noted here.
Size and Type
The creature's size and type are unaffected.

Hit Dice
All current and future Hit Dice are turned to d12's.

Speed
Same as base creature, +30 to all forms of movement. Ash creatures move with incredible speed and agility through the broken lands, which suits their predatory nature well.

Armor Class
Same as base creature

Attack
An ash creature retains all the attacks of the base creature, and gains a bite attack which deals damage as a short sword of the appropriate size would.

Special Attacks
An ash creature retains all the special attacks of the base creature and gains those described below. Saves have a DC of 10 +1/2 the ash creatures HD + its Wis modifier unless otherwise noted.

Gaze of Terror
Those unfortunate enough to meet the eyes of an ash creature are met with a void, filled with nothing but malevolence which can send a chill up the spine of even the most stalwart warrior.
As a standard action an ash creature may make a gaze attack against any target within 60 feet. The target must be able to see the ash creature, and is allowed a reflex save to avert their eyes. If they fail this save, they are shaken. If the ash creature has at least 3 more HD than the target, the target instead becomes panicked.

Poison Ash
The ash which makes up an ash creatures bodies can be a potent poison. Any creature successfully hit with a bite attack from an ash creature must make a DC 15 fortitude save or take 1d6 Con damage followed by a secondary 2d6 Con damage the next round.

Choking Ash
As a full round action, an ash creature can kick up an abnormally large amount of dust from the ground of Koami, blinding and choking nearby creatures.
When an ash creature preforms this attack, all creatures within a 20 foot radius must make a reflex save of DC 15 or be blinded for 1d3+1 rounds and suffer -2 to all skill checks, ability rolls, attack rolls, and damage rolls.
Even those who make the reflex suffer a -1 to all skill checks, ability rolls, attack rolls, and damage rolls as ash gets into their mouth and lungs.
An ash creature is immune to their own choking ash.

Miasmal Death
When killed, an ash creature explodes in a gust of pure evil and ash. All those within a 40 foot radius must make a DC 15 reflex save to avoid the below affects.
Those who fail this save must make an additional will save. Those who make the will save still suffer -1 to all ability, skill, damage, and attack rolls for 1d4+2 hours. Those who fail the will save take -2 to all ability, skill, damage, and attack rolls for 2d4+5 hours, are blinded for 1d4+1 hours, and are nauseated for 1d6+3 hours as the pure evil overwhelms their body, along with the ash.

Special Qualities
An ash creature retains all of the special qualities of the base creature and gains those described below.

Prolong Suffering
The only purpose for an ash creatures existence is to make other creatures suffer. As such, they have developed unique ways to do this. As a standard action, an ash creature may bite a target that is has least -1 Hit Points. When they do this, the target is instantly healed to 0 Hit Points, but are paralyzed for 3d4+5 minutes. During the period where the creature is awake, but paralyzed, ash creatures slowly gnaw on their unfortunate victim, and use their healing to keep it alive until it chews off so much of the body that the creature simply cannot survive anymore.

Sense Life
Another ability which aids in the ash creatures ability to make creatures suffer is their innate knowledge of when a victim is getting weak. At any time during a battle, as a swift action, an ash creature may make a wisdom check of DC 15 in order to judge roughly how close to collapsing their enemy is.

Walker in the Ash
Ash creatures live their lives within the boundries of the broken lands of Koami, and have learned how to travel rapidly within its borders. As a swift, an ash creature may teleport to any area within 60 feet a number of times per day equal to the ash creatures HD (minimum of 1).

Abilities
Increase from the base creature as follows: Str +2, Dex +4, Con none, Int none, Wis +2, Cha +4

Skills
Ash creatures have a +4 racial bonus to Hide and Move Silently, as well as a +2 racial bonus to Spot and Listen checks.

Feats
An ash creature gains no bonus feats from this template.

Environment
The Broken Lands of Koami

Organization
Solitary, or pack (2-6)

Challenge Rating
Same as base creature +3

Treasure
None

Alignment
Always Chaotic Evil

Advancement
Same as base creature

Level Adjustment
-

Example Creature
Ash Creature Squirrel:
"What was that?!" Asked Zhon as he whipped around, only to be met with the face of his traveling companion, Seagram "Silverdome".
"What was what?" Replied Silverdome, as he began looking around the broken and dead landscape.
"I thought I heard something..." answered Zhon.
"You're letting your mind get to y-ARGH!" Silverdome shouted as his sentence was cut off by a small creature which had jumped upon his face.
Zhon screamed and began casting a spell, as Silverdome repeatedly beat at the creature with his shield, to no avail.
"Get it off!" He shouted to Zhon as he flailed at the creature on his face.
"I'm trying!" replied Zhon, before stepping forward and smacking the creature with his now-energized hand, causing it to explode into a massive plume of ash.
Now choking on ash, the pair fled the area before stopping to regain their breath next to a large rock.
"What... was that?" asked Silverdome, still wiping ash from his face.
"It... looked like a demonic squirrel..." replied Zhon.
Looking at Zhon for a moment before sinking down into a sitting position, Silverdome mumbled to himself "By Igarius' light, I hate this area."
(note: I used the rats statistics for this).

Ash Creature Squirrel
Hit Dice: 1d12 (6)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 45
Armor Class: 16 (+2 size, +4 Dex)
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-11
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d3-3)
Space/Reach: 2-1/2ft/0ft
Special Attacks: Gaze of Terror, Poison Ash, Choking Ash, Miasmal Death
Special Qualities: Prolong Suffering, Sense Life, Walker in the Ash
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities: Str 4, Dex 19, Con -, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills: Balance +12, Climb +13, Hide +20, Move Silently +16, Spot +4, Listen +4, Swim +11
Feats:Weapon Finesse
Environment:Broken Lands of Koami
Organization: Solitary or pack (1-6)
Challenge Rating: 3
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: -
Standing in at just under a foot long, this creature of pure evil scuttles along the ground searching for something - anything - to torment and make suffer.


Combat
Due to its size, this type of Ash Creature typically only attacks by surprise, in hit-and-run attacks.

Gaze of Terror:
At-will, an Ash Creature may make a gaze attack against any target with whom they can make eye contact within 60 feet. If they succeed, then the target must make a will save (DC 13) or be shaken.

Poison Ash:
Any successful bite attack made by the ash creature requires the victim to make a fortitude save of DC 15 or take 1d6 Con damage followed by a secondary 2d6 Con damage the next round.

Choking Ash:
As a full-round action an ash creature can kick up surrounding ash, all creatures within a 20 foot radius of the creature must make a reflex save of DC 15. If they fail this save they are blinded for 1d3+1 rounds and suffer -2 to all skill checks, ability rolls, attack rolls, and damage rolls.
Even those who make the reflex suffer a -1 to all skill checks, ability rolls, attack rolls, and damage rolls as ash gets into their mouth and lungs.
In both cases the penalties (except the blindness) last for 1d6+2 rounds.

Miasmal Death:
When an ash creature dies, all living creatures within a 40 foot radius must make a DC 15 reflex save to avoid the below affects.
Those who fail this save must make an additional will save. Those who make the will save still suffer -1 to all d20 rolls for 1d4+2 hours. Those who fail the will save take -2 to all d20 rolls for 2d4+5 hours, are blinded for 1d4+1 hours, and are nauseated for 1d6+3 hours as the pure evil overwhelms their body, along with the ash.

Prolong Suffering:
An ash creature may spend a standard action to bite a target that has been reduced to at least -1, to heal the target back to 1 and paralyze them for 2d4 +5 minutes.

Sense Life:
As a swift action an ash creature may make a Wisdom roll of DC 15 to determined roughly how much longer an enemy can fight.

Walker in the Ash
As a swift action, once per day, an ash creature may teleport anywhere within 60 feet.






Thats the first of a few creatures I plan to make for the Koami region of my world. I'd like some general feedback on balance and fluff and such. Thanks in advance for any comments, good or bad.

[darckkorion]

I like it. The flavor is good and the fluff is well written and entertaining. Miasmal Death seems like a bitch though.

[Stycotl]

why is it d12 hit points for an aberration? they normally get d8.

and the -1 to all d20 rolls seems a little arbitrary. why not -1 to all d8 rolls. most of the time, an ability that penalizes other abilities penalizes them by type, not by dice size. doesn't mean it can't be done, just seems weird.

for poison that has a 2d6 con secondary effect, swift action dimension door, and the ability to panic foes, i'd give it an LA of at least 5 or 6. CR might go up one as well.

other than that, this has some potential. i like the flavor, though some of it seems unclear. it seems like it could be a supplemental product to the sandstorm book. cool stuff.

aaron out.

[RTGoodman]

Really cool, but I've got a few nitpicks.

You list the type as Aberration, but all HD become d12s. I guess this could work, but usually when a template or something changes HD it makes them the same as the racial hit dice of that creature's type (e.g., when something becomes Undead, HD turn to d12s). I believe Aberration racial HD are d8s. I don't know if it's a problem, I just thought I'd point it out.

Prolong Suffering just seems weird. Does it have a mechanical effect? If not, you could consider that any creature eaten by the Ash Creature for the full time of paralysis can't be raised by any spell short of true resurrection. (See the Barghest for a similar ability.)

I'd consider just making the LA — to prevent players from taking the template. In general, PCs can't have an Int below 3, so and Int — is right out.

Finally, with all the abilities it gives (especially some of the ones Stycotl mentions), I'd almost peg it as CR +3 or +4 instead of +2, but I'm not entirely sure.

[criticalstriker]

why is it d12 hit points for an aberration? they normally get d8.

and the -1 to all d20 rolls seems a little arbitrary. why not -1 to all d8 rolls. most of the time, an ability that penalizes other abilities penalizes them by type, not by dice size. doesn't mean it can't be done, just seems weird.

for poison that has a 2d6 con secondary effect, swift action dimension door, and the ability to panic foes, i'd give it an LA of at least 5 or 6. CR might go up one as well.

other than that, this has some potential. i like the flavor, though some of it seems unclear. it seems like it could be a supplemental product to the sandstorm book. cool stuff.

aaron out.

Really I only had it as Aberration because it seemed odd leaving it the way it normally is. I suppose I will, though. I'm not sure what other type would work...

Thats fair enough, I changed it to affect all ability, skill, damage, and attack rolls instead of just d20 rolls in general.

Really cool, but I've got a few nitpicks.

You list the type as Aberration, but all HD become d12s. I guess this could work, but usually when a template or something changes HD it makes them the same as the racial hit dice of that creature's type (e.g., when something becomes Undead, HD turn to d12s). I believe Aberration racial HD are d8s. I don't know if it's a problem, I just thought I'd point it out.

Prolong Suffering just seems weird. Does it have a mechanical effect? If not, you could consider that any creature eaten by the Ash Creature for the full time of paralysis can't be raised by any spell short of true resurrection. (See the Barghest for a similar ability.)

I'd consider just making the LA — to prevent players from taking the template. In general, PCs can't have an Int below 3, so and Int — is right out.

Finally, with all the abilities it gives (especially some of the ones Stycotl mentions), I'd almost peg it as CR +3 or +4 instead of +2, but I'm not entirely sure.

See above.

It doesn't really have a mechanical aspect as a combat tool, its primarily for role playing. Its used to keep someone alive as they devour them. Like, gnawing on a leg for several hours to inflict as much pain as possible before the creature dies.

I figured I should do that, I'm not sure why I put a LA, honestly... Thank you for pointing it out, though.

I'll raise it to CR +3 for now, since it seems the general belief that its more powerful than CR +2