Team Ready, Aim, Fire! XV - Jailbreak [game over]

[Vampiric]

3 gp each on Exachix and Mordokai making it to round 4.

P.S. What about if they go further than I betted for? I assume I just get the payout for them reaching the round that I bet on?

[The Bushranger]

If there's something you'd like to bet on that's not on the list, ask me, and I'll calculate the odds for you.

5gp says more than two people target De in the first round.

[Lord Herman]

DivaDe21 has been shot at by more than two people in the first round in every game she's been in, so the odds for that are one to one.

[Fleeing Coward]

That's something you can't bet on - after all, that would mean Castaras would get to decide whether you win or not.

But would I be allowed to make such bets at a later date if I pm the bet directly to you?

[Thanatos 51-50]

5gp on Kasz Dieing in the first round.

[Yspoch]

Yspoch smiles as he hears Balfords report of open cell doors, but the smile never reaches his eyes. As he heaves his powerful frame out of the chair he was sitting in, he stretches and cracks his neck and his knuckles. "Joanna is looking forward to some action..." he whispers, patting his steel side-handle baton.


I'll bet 5 GP on Draken surviving round 4, 3 GP on Fin surviving round 3 and saving 2 GP for rounds to come.

[banjo1985]

I'll put 1gp on Kasz winning the whole thing.

[Ink]

Alright, I'm going all in! 5 gp on Zar Peter's team winning.

[Kasz]

Kasz the lost guard wanders around the complex looking well lost until he stumbles upon guards and prisoners shouting bets to each other, deciding to have a go he throws in.

"I bet 5 GP on Zar Peter's team winning and 5 GP on Team Guards winning."

He then wanders off looking for something or another.

[Mordokai]

3 gp each on Exachix and Mordokai making it to round 4.

P.S. What about if they go further than I betted for? I assume I just get the payout for them reaching the round that I bet on?

You may want to reconsider that bet, what with my statistic so far

Ok, I bet 2 gp on Guards winning, 1 gp on ZP being on winning team and 2 gp on FC shooting himself.

[Lord Herman]

Huh, I just realised two things: betting on Zar Peter winning is the same as betting on his team, only with a higher payout, and if you bet X gp on ZP and X on the other team, you can never lose money.

Until I find a better solution, the odds for Zar Peter's team winning are lowered to 1 to 2.

[Castaras]

1,000,000 gold says that Cassie shoots Lord Herman!

*makes note to not shoot Herman*



5 gold on Exachix making it to round 2.

[Ink]

Huh, I just realised two things: betting on Zar Peter winning is the same as betting on his team, only with a higher payout, and if you bet X gp on ZP and X on the other team, you can never lose money.

Until I find a better solution, the odds for Zar Peter's team winning are lowered to 1 to 2.

Nothing slips by you, does it? There goes my quick-rich scheme. I withdraw my second bet in that case.

[Mustiado]

Perhaps you could do (character here) and survives. Make it a double bet, I guess.

[Zar Peter]

Huh, I just realised two things: betting on Zar Peter winning is the same as betting on his team, only with a higher payout, and if you bet X gp on ZP and X on the other team, you can never lose money.

Until I find a better solution, the odds for Zar Peter's team winning are lowered to 1 to 2.

Awww... I'm nothing special anymore. * sobs *

[Fleeing Coward]

With the new odds, I'll withdraw my bet on Zar Peter and place 5 gold on Cassie not making it to round 2
Also 5 gc on banjo1985 surviving round 1

[Yeril]

10gp on Zar on winning team!

4 Gp on me making it to round 2
4 Gp on me making it to round 3
1 Gp on Guards Winning!

[Almighty Salmon]

2 Gp on me winning the entire game.

I'm going Rambo.. *Ties on red bandana*

[Dallas-Dakota]

5 GP on Divade not making it through the first two rounds.

[Shadow]

With respect to the change in odds, I'd like to withdraw my previous bet of 10gp on ZP's team winning.

I'd like to place 4gp on Magtok surviving the first round.
Place 3gp on Magtok surviving the second round.
Put 2gp on Maggie surviving the third round.
And finally, 1gp on the Magster surviving the fourth round.

[Lord Herman]

@Yeril and Almighty Salmon: You can't bet on yourself.

@dallas-dakota: Do you mean she dies in the second round for which the odds are 1 to 5, or that she dies in the first or second round, in which case the odds are roughly 7 to 10?


Remember, kids, you get your winnings at the end of the game. If you're planning to bet on later rounds, don't bet everything now.

[Raeden]

10 GP on Almighty Salmon surviving the first round

[Lord Herman]

Time's up, writing now.

edit: It's taking a bit longer, both because there are 53 players, and because the forums seem to be rather slow right now.

Meanwhile, the gamblers among you can now display their winnings in their sig with pictures of shiny coins. These pictures can be found on my site (link is in my sig).

For example, if I had 2946 copper pieces, I could put this in my sig:


Note that the base currency is now copper pieces instead of gold pieces, so all your bets are now in CPs, and you start with 10 copper pieces.

[Yeril]

10gp on Zar on winning team!

4 Gp on me making it to round 2
4 Gp on me making it to round 3
1 Gp on Guards Winning!

4cp on Guards winning.
2cp on Salmon surving the first round.
4cp in mah pocket.

[Lord Herman]

4cp on Guards winning.
2cp on Salmon surving the first round.
4cp in mah pocket.

I'll accept your bets this time, but from now on, betting is closed when I post my 'writing now' post. Betting re-opens when I post the new odds.

[Lord Herman]

Paris Hilton walks through the prison, loudly smacking as she chews her bubble gum. Suddenly, as she walks past an odd-looking door, she hears a voice out of nowhere. “Prisoners. Aperture Science Laboratories would like to inform you that you have been chosen as test subjects for the Aperture Science Enrichment Program. Please step through the door to your left. When the tests are complete, cake will be served.” “Hold on,” says Paris, and takes a cell phone out of her pocket. “Daddy? Hi, it’s me. Yeah, still in prison. Daddy, there’s a robot voice here that says it’s from... uh...” “Aperture Science Laboratories. Please step through...” “Yeah, Appleture Science or whatever. Can you buy it for me? Come on, you said the same thing about buying Microsoft last week! Aww, daddy, come on! Thanks, daddy.” “Would you please...” “Shut up, robot voice. Sorry, daddy. No, I wasn’t talking to you. Can you tell the people at Appleture to delete the robot voice thing?” “Now wait just... *bzzt*”

Jim, the guy in the watchtower, is aiming his rifle at one of the prisoners. “Die, Hilton! Die!” He’s about to fire when he hears something bleat behind him. As he looks around, he sees a llama charging at him. As he lies bleeding on the ground below, Shifty and the Knee Capper stab him to death with plastic forks. Atreyu looks down the tower to see the mess he’s made, when Raiser B1ade sneaks up on him and pushes him over the edge. Shifty looks up at Atreyu’s desperate bleating when he sees Hexed, the prison cook, at the top of the tower, pouring a kettle of scalding hot gruel down on him. Hexed turns around to climb down the ladder, but Icepick and Zar Peter block his way. “What do you want?” asks the cook, “I’m only the prison cook! I never did anything to hurt you!” “Oh no?” says Zar Peter, “what about your ‘Gruel Surprise’?” “Crap, you got me there.” Icepick grabs the cook, and says, “You know why they call me Icepick?” “No,” squeaks Hexed. “Because I’ve killed twenty-eight people with...” “...an ice pick?” “No, with a gun,” says Icepick, and pushes the cook down the tower. “Seriously, what kind of a weapon is an ice pick?” “Look, guys, could you please get out of my watch tower? I’m trying to snipe some prisoners here,” says purple gelatinous cube o’ Doom. “Sorry,” say the escapees, and climb back down the ladder.

“Awesome,” says Captain van der Decken, “what else can it do?” “Look,” says Kasz, pointing at the hamster, “it can also stand on its hands.” “Can I hold it?” “Sure.” Captain van der Decken takes the hamster out of its cage. “Ow!” he shouts, dropping the hamster, “it bit me!” “Get it! Get it!” The hamster makes a run for it, and the two guards go after it. “God, I hope Percy doesn’t...” “Doesn’t what?” asks Percy Wetmore, who just walked around the corner. “Oh, nothing,” says Kasz, trying to get between Percy and the hamster, who is now trying to dig a hole through the prison wall. “Wait, what’s that?” says Percy. He walks past Kasz, and stomps his boot down on the hamster. “Aww, man! That was my hamster!” says Kasz. “I’m going to tell the head warden!” “Don’t bother,” says Percy, “I’ve already had a talk with him. Oh, and by the way, you’re fired.”

“Are you sure this is safe?” asks Aemoh as he climbs the ladder. “Sure,” says Kantur. “Look,” says Castaras, “the ladder I can understand. But what are we going to do with these paper tissues?” “It was only a few apples!” says Exachix to himself. As the prisoners reach the top of the prison wall, Kantur says, “Right, that went great. Now the hard part.” “Why do they lock me up for stealing a few apples?” “And the hard part is?” asks Castaras. “Getting to the other side of the moat, of couse, while at the same time avoiding the laser defence system.” “Don’t worry about that,” says Aemoh. “They weren’t even ripe!” “Why not?” “You’ll see in three... two... one...” Suddenly, disco music comes blaring out of the prison’s intercom speakers, and the laser turret stars shooting multi-coloured lasers into the air. “The Bee Gees?” “Twenty years for stealing apples!” “Right,” says Kantur, “now that the lasers are dealt with, we should be reasonably safe.” “But how will we get across the moat?” asks Castaras. “Simple,” says Kantur, “we each hold a tissue above our heads, and jump off the wall.” “I was only hungry!” “Oh shut up, Exachix. You killed two hundred and twenty-eight people when you robbed that apple stall.” “Twenty-seven! That last one choked on an apple!” “An apple you stuffed down his windpipe.” “Not the point!” “Anyway, let’s go. I’ll cover you while you jump.” Aemoh, Castaras, and Exachix hold on to their tissues, and jump off the wall. They drop like bricks and land in the shark-infested moat below. “Uh... okay, time to think up a new plan,” says Kantur.

“I really hope I don’t run across any escapees,” says Draken loudly. “That would be really bad, because I am completely unarmed! It would be really easy for an escaped prisoner to kill me and take my keys!” “How fortunate,” says the Bushranger, pulling a knife and holding it against Draken’s throat. “Of course, my companion, who is standing right behind you, is armed.” Dr. Bath clubs the Bushranger over the head with his oversized torch, and says, “That went well. Let’s do it again!” “Right. A-hem. Oh dear, I seem to have left my pistol in my locker. Oh well, I will just finish my patrol and hope I don’t get attacked by any escapees who are after the keys to the gate, which are in my left pocket. No, wait, my right pocket, how silly of me.” Dr. Bath waits around a corner for more prisoners to attack Draken when he suddenly hears nothing behind him. He immediately continues standing around the corner, and is stabbed to death by Hoggy and Mustiado. “You were right,” says Mustiado, “this ‘stealth’ thing really does work!” “Indeed,” says Freshmeat the Clown, and squirts the football player in the eye with the oversized flower pinned to his colourful coat. Meanwhile, Balford sneaks up on Hoggy, and beats the donkey to death with his standard issue prison guard oversized baseball bat.

Almighty Salmon, Cristo Meyers and easyname burst into the head warden’s office, and start shooting. “We’ll hold them off, Mr. Ink,” says James Bond, bullets zipping past him. “I suggest you get out of here.” “Good idea,” says Ink, and jumps out of the window. Unfortunately, the office is on the fifth floor, and the head warden falls to his death. “M is not going to like this,” says Bond. The wall behind them is riddled with holes, but Bond and Skippy haven’t been hit a single time. “Uh, Mr. Bond?” says radikalskippy, raising his voice above the sound of the gunfire. “Yes?” “I think the bad guys are getting impatient. One of them just left.” “Well, let’s not keep them waiting any longer, shall we?” Bond and Skippy draw their guns, and shoot Cristo Meyers and easyname with a single shot each.

“Woooooo!” shouts Destro Yersul as he drives the prison jeep through the mess hall. Big Jim Macguffin and someonenonotyou have hitched a ride on the jeep, and the three prisoners are heading for the gates. “Hold it!” shouts Shadow. “Step out of the jeep with your hands raised!” PirateMonk, Shadow, and Jose the Mexican guard are pointing their guns at the escapees, and Jose is eating a burrito. “Pointing guns at us, are you?” says Big Jim. “Si,” says Jose, “we are.” “Well, look what we found in the jeep!” The prisoners draw guns too, and aim them at the guards. PirateMonk looks around, and says, “Look, let’s just stay calm here, okay? Let’s just put down our guns and...” Suddenly, everyone starts shooting, and three seconds later, everyone is dead.

Fleeing Coward and pingcode20 are guarding the armoury, when two escapees attack them. Lord Fullbladder tries to garrotte Fleeing Coward with a guitar string, while Neodan282 points a gun at pingcode20. “Give me the keys!” “But...” “Now!” Pingcode20 hands over the keys, and says, “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.” “Shut up,” says Neodan282, and opens the door. Suddenly, an enormous heap of weapons and ammunition falls over and crushes the escapee. “Told you so,” says pingcode20. “Here, Fleeing Coward, take this,” he says, handing the blue-faced guard a large scimitar. Lord Fullbladder lets go of the guitar string as he discovers the large sword sticking out of his chest. “Why do we...” says Fleeing Coward, coughing and wheezing, “...why do we have a big scimitar in the armoury?” “It’s for when someone tries to choke you with a guitar string. Duh.”

“Well, well,” says Fredricus, “what have we here? The famous Hannibal Lecter.” “No, I’m not. I’m... uh... Zorro.” “Nice try, Mr. Lecter. But the fact that you ate your cell mate last week leads me to suspect that you are, in fact, not Zorro.” “Nixon, then? Yes, I’m Richard Nixon.” “Oh, come on. Nixon never ate anybody.” “That’s what they want you to believe. It’s all an FBI conspiracy, you know.” Fredricus groans. “I’m an FBI agent, Mr. Lecter.” “Oh.” “Now, we have conclusive evidence linking you and Mr. Fisher here to the case of...” “Officer!” “What is it, Mr. Fisher?” “Hannibal is trying to eat me!” “Mr. Lecter, eating your co-conspirator will not help your case. Please let go of his ear. Now, where was I... ah, yes. Mr. Lecter, where were you on... good god, what is it now?” “I’m hungry,” says Hannibal. “Then you should have eaten something before the interrogation started!” “I did! I ate someone... uh, something... just now. But I’m still hungry.” “Well, that solves the case of the missing prison guard. Now, I believe you and Mr. Fisher...” “Officer?” “Yes, Mr. Fisher?” “Have you seen my hand?” “What the... Mr. Lecter, give Mr. Fisher his hand back right now!” “I can’t. I ate it.” “Right, that does it! I’ve had just about enough of you two!” Fredricus howls, turns into a werewolf, and eats Hannibal and Sam Fisher.

“There he is!” shouts huyneo. “Quick, after him!” Huyneo and Yspoch follow the escapee down one of the many corridors of the prison. “We’ve got him! This is a dead end!” The guards turn a corner, but Mad Wizard is waiting for them; he raises his crowbar, and clobbers the guards to death.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Prisoners|Actions
Aemoh|Self
Almighty Salmon|Air
Atreyu|Yeril
banjo1985|Mordokai
Castaras|Self
Cristo Meyers|Ominous
dallas-dakota|Timeout
Destro Yersul|Shadow
DivaDe21|Self
easyname|Timeout
Exachix|Self
Face of Evil|Hexed
Fin|Yeril
Hoggy|Dr. Bath
Indurain|Shadow
Kantur|Air
Lord Fullbladder|Fleeing Coward
Mad Wizard|Self
Mustiado|Dr. Bath
Neodan282|Timeout
Raider|Timeout
someonenonotyou|PirateMonk
thanatos5150|Fredricus
The Bushranger|Draken
Vampiric|Fredricus
Zar Peter|Hexed
Zombie pixe|Yeril
Guards|Actions
Balford|Hoggy
Captain van der Decken|Air
Doseki|Timeout
Dr. Bath|The Bushranger
Draken|Self
Fleeing Coward|Self
Fredricus|Self
Freshmeat|Mustiado
Hexed|Fin
huyneo|Mad Wizard
Ink|Self
Kasz|Self
Krursk|Timeout
Lord Magtok|Air
Mordokai|banjo1985
Ominous|Self
pingcode20|Neodan282
PirateMonk|someonenonotyou
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom|Air
radikalskippy|easyname
Raeden|Air
Raiser B1ade|Atreyu
Shadow|Destro Yersul
Stu42|DivaDe21
Yeril|DivaDe21
Yspoch|Mad Wizard[/table]


Prisoners (10/27)
Aemoh
Almighty Salmon - Mexican midget, armed with pinecones
Atreyu - RAR!!!
banjo1985 - Big Jim Macguffin
Castaras - In life for doing 10 bad things
Cristo Meyers
dallas-dakota - Robs banks for money to buy cookies
Destro Yersul - Car thief
DivaDe21 - Paris Hilton
easyname - Evil ninja wielding a marshmallow on a stick
Exachix - Sentenced for 20 years for stealing apples
Face of Evil - 'Icepick'
Fin - Shifty, the guy who sells contraband
Hoggy - One-eyed pirate donkey
Indurain
Kantur
Lord Fullbladder - Nutcase guitarist
Mad Wizard - Guy who snuck in a crowbar
Mustadio - Football player
Neodan282 - Prisoner who found the armory
Raider - Insane paraplegic man charged with cruelty to butterflies
someonenonotyou - Super awesome pirate prisoner
thanatos5150 - Sam Fisher
The Bushranger
Vampiric - Hannibal Lecter
Zar Peter
Zombie pixe - 'The Knee Capper'

Guards (15/26)
Balford - New guy
Captain van der Decken
Doseki - Mr Mackay
Dr. Bath - Guard with oversided torch
Draken - Executioner who impales people on icicles
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus - FBI profiler who is a werewolf
Freshmeat - Clown (the one who was punched by Castaras)
Hexed - Prison cook
huyneo - Generic guard
Ink - Head warden
Kasz - Guard with yo-yo
Krursk - Lost Guardsman
Lord Magtok - Percy Wetmore (from The Green Mile)
Mordokai - Jose, lazy mexican guard who eats too much jalapeno
Ominous - James Bond
pingcode20
PirateMonk
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom - Guard with high-powered rifle in watch tower
radikalskippy
Raeden - Automatic disco laser gun
Raiser B1ade
Shadow
Stu42 - GLaDOS
Yeril - Jim, the guy in the watchtower
Yspoch


Please submit your actions before Friday, 18:00 GMT.

[Mordokai]

Touche banjo, touche! I knew I should shot myself

Vampiric, I told you not to bet on me Sorry for that

[Freshmeat]

Oh Mustiado, you and your silly ideas of 'not shooting your nemesis' or 'not shooting yourself'!

2-1!

[Lord Herman]

The odds for this round:
{table]Bet|Odds
Player survives the second round|1 to 2
Player survives the third round|2 to 7
Player survives the fourth round|1 to 6
Player survives the fifth round|1 to 14
Player survives the sixth round|1 to 29
Prisoner wins|1 to 14
Guard wins|1 to 7
Prisoners win|1 to 3
Guards win|2 to 3
Fleeing Coward kills himself again|1 to 2[/table]

Remember, you won't get your winnings until the end of the game, even if you've already won something.