Team Ready, Aim, Fire! XV - Jailbreak [game over]

[Fredricus]

Got you Vampiric!

I ate Hannibal :)

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

And somewhere in the darkness,
The Gambler, he broke even
And in his final words I found
An Ace that I could keep....

C'mon, prisoners! Show those guards who you'll crush and kill! You can do it!

[PirateMonk]

Hm... might as well declare a grudge against SONNY.

[Indurain]

Awww...I'm not even in the now story...and now I'm vastly outnumbered.

I don't like dem apples Will.

[Draken]

Bushranger, Bushranger, Bushranger. You are so predictable.

And look. Two people DID target De, hmm, how odd. Thrice in a row now.

Oh well. Time to see to my next move.

[Mordokai]

And look. Two people DID target De, hmm, how odd. Thrice in a row now.

Whoever didn't see that one coming was as blind as mole.

Wish I'd bet some money on that

[Mustiado]

NOOOOOOO! BLAST YOU NEMESIS!!!

*shifty eyes*

Insult added to injury by you surviving this round. Too bad I can't bet on you to go the rest of the way.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Wow: I have two frist round deaths in as many games, both of which from being caught up in someone else's suicide.

On the up side, I'm now up some CP.

[Almighty Salmon]

The odds for this round:
{table]Bet|Odds
Player survives the second round|1 to 2
Player survives the third round|2 to 7
Player survives the fourth round|1 to 6
Player survives the fifth round|1 to 14
Player survives the sixth round|1 to 29
Prisoner wins|1 to 14
Guard wins|1 to 7
Prisoners win|1 to 3
Guards win|2 to 3
Almighty Salmon kills himself again|1 to 2[/table]

Oh hoho, I love that last one..

Anyway, I'm still determined to win the game. Even if I can't bet on myself

[The Bushranger]

*grumble grumble grumble*

5cp says De survives the second round.

[Lord Herman]

Oh hoho, I love that last one..

Anyway, I'm still determined to win the game. Even if I can't bet on myself

Oh, blimey, that was supposed to be Fleeing Coward. Although you do have a decent track record for killing yourself.

[banjo1985]

Yay grudge death, goes to show what happens when I finbally decide to shoot my nemesis

I'm going to put 2cp on the prisoners winning this thing, they're so outnumbered it might work!

[Destro_Yersul]

Ha! Got you Shadow! I may have died in the process, but I took you with me!

[Yspoch]

Awww, i am no more.

I hope I won't lose my money too!

[Shadow]

Ha! Got you Shadow! I may have died in the process, but I took you with me!

I could say the same thing to you.
Neither of us will receive any points for that one.
And I'm starting to doubt whether either of us will ever progress through this game to get very far anymore....
But it sure is fun this way!

[Destro_Yersul]

I don't think we will. We'll be too busy blowing the crap out of each other with whatever weapons we happen to have at our disposal. But it will be epic.

[Lord Herman]

I've added some new bets to the list:

The odds for this round:
{table]Bet|Odds
Player survives the second round|1 to 2
Player survives the third round|2 to 7
Player survives the fourth round|1 to 6
Player survives the fifth round|1 to 14
Player survives the sixth round|1 to 29
Player makes at least one kill next round|2 to 5
Player makes at least one more kill|1 to 2
Player makes at least two more kills|1 to 5
Player makes at least three more kills|1 to 18
Player makes at least four more kills|1 to 80
Prisoner wins|1 to 14
Guard wins|1 to 7
Prisoners win|1 to 3
Guards win|2 to 3
Fleeing Coward kills himself again|1 to 2[/table]


Since the server was so slow today, I'm extending the deadline until Saturday, 10:00 GMT.

[Zar Peter]

And another two gold pieces on the prisoners to win

[Lord Herman]

Balford is sitting on a chair, snoring loudly. The head warden had told him to guard cell block B, but it turned out there wasn’t much for him to do – all the prisoners turned out to be missing. As Balford dreams happy dreams about penguins, two prisoners sneak up on him. “This is him,” says Kantur, “he has the keys.” “Right,” says dallas-dakota. He takes off his shoe, and stuffs it into Balford’s mouth, choking the guard. “Alright, now you look for the keys while I look for internal organs.” As the escapees walk out on to the courtyard, carrying two kidneys, a liver, a spleen, and a key, a guard up in a watchtower spots them. “Purple gelatinous cube o’ Doom, quick!” says Raiser B1ade, “Those guys are making off with Balford’s spleen!” Purple gelatinous cube o’ Doom aims his high-powered rifle, and shoots dallas-dakota through the head. “Got him!” he says, and falls down the tower. Mad Wizard grins at Raiser B1ade, and runs away.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” asks Draken as Freshmeat the Clown fumbles with the wiring of the laser gun. “Sure,” says Freshmeat, “just give me a minute and I’ll have it up and running again.” “And make sure it stops playing Bee Gees songs whenever it activates,” says Fredricus. Freshmeat steps off his unicycle, and says, “That should do it. Let’s see what happens if we...” Suddenly a multicoloured laser vaporizes the clown, while the prison intercom plays ‘that’s the way I like it’ by KC and the Sunshine Band. Sparks fly from the wall-mounted laser gun as it blows Fredricus and Draken apart, and with a loud bang, it explodes.

The Knee Capper stalks through the prison. He sneaks into the head warden’s office, in search of the warden’s prison key. “Looking for this?” asks a voice behind him. As he turns around, he sees James Bond standing behind him, holding the key. “Bond!” The Knee Capper draws a gun, and aiming it at James Bond, he says, “Now you die, Mr. Bond.” “Oh, I don’t think so,” says Bond. “If you have watched any Bond films at all, you should know that this is the part where the bond girl sneaks up on the villain and stabs him in the back.” Suddenly, the Knee Capper falls over with a big knife sticking out of his back. Behind him, dressed in a revealing dress, stands pingcode20. “Correct me if I’m wrong,” says pingcode20, “but isn’t a bond girl supposed to be... well, a girl?” “Do you see any pretty girls here?” “Look at me! I’m hot!” says Paris Hilton. “I’ll be the bond girl!” “Uh... no thanks,” says James Bond, and runs away. “James Bond... doesn’t like me? But I’m, like, the hottest chick in the world!” “You can be the pingcode20 girl if you like,” says pingcode20. “I mean, like, Eva Green was the last bond girl! I’m way hotter than her!” “Well, actually, she’s pretty hot,” says pingcode20. “Noooooooo!” screams Paris Hilton, and bursts into flame. “Sheesh, talk about overreacting,” says pingcode20.

“Aww, man! Not the isolation cell again!” Zar Peter moves his little ball-and-chain to a square on the corner of the board. “My turn!” says Fleeing Coward. “A 7! That means I land on... cell block C!” “Ha, that’s 200 cigarettes!” says Indurain. “I still prefer normal Monopoly,” says Captain van der Decken. “Why?” says Indurain, “I like Prison Monopoly. I mean, dealing in real estate is hardly a theme a convict like me can relate to.” “Uh... Indy, weren’t you convicted for real estate fraud?” “Not the point. Anyway, I rolled a 5, so I get a Chance card. Let’s see... aww, man! ‘Prison life doesn’t agree with you. Hang yourself in your cell.’” “Tough luck, Indy,” says Fleeing Coward. Indurain stands up, and says, “Well, so long, guys. Nice knowin’ ya. Oh, and Fleeing Coward?” “Yes?” “Good luck with the jailbreak.” “Oh, yes, thanks. Good luck hanging yourself.” “So, whose turn is it?” asks Zar Peter.

“By the Emperor, what is this place?” Guardsman #51759 wanders through the prison, his lasrifle at the ready. “It looks like a prison, but it’s much too luxurious for that...” Suddenly, he hears something behind him. “Aaaah! It’s... I don’t know what it is, but I’ll shoot it anyway!” The guardsman fires wildly at the Mexican midget, to no effect. “Will you stop shining that light in my eyes? It’s mildly irritating.” “Aaaah! It’s invulnerable to my mighty lasrifle! I’m going to die!” The guardsman drops his gun and runs away, straight into one of the prison’s magma pits. “I wonder what that was all about,” says the midget, picking up the lasrifle. “Neat, a laser pointer!”

“Oh crap!” says radikalskippy. “It’s Icepick! He’s escaped!” The mass murder is standing on the prison wall, looking for a way to cross the moat. “Hmm,” say Skippy, “I think I have a plan.” The guard sneaks off, undetected by Icepick. Five minutes later, he returns with a very large piece of fireworks. He sneaks up to Icepick, tapes the giant rocket to his back, and lights the fuse. Icepick, still oblivious to the guard’s presence, sniffs the air. “Hmm, I smell something burning...” Suddenly, there is a loud hissing noise and lots of smoke, and Icepick is launched into the air. “I’m free!” he shouts, as the rocket carries him over the moat. Radikalskippy looks at the flying escapee, and grins as the rocket explodes in a riot of colour.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Prisoners|Actions
Almighty Salmon|Self
dallas-dakota|Balford
DivaDe21|Self
Face of Evil|Timeout
Indurain|Self
Kantur|Balford
Mad Wizard|purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
Raider|Timeout death
Zar Peter|Air
Zombie pixe|Ominous
Guards|Actions
Balford|Timeout
Captain van der Decken|Air
Doseki|Timeout death
Draken|Self
Fleeing Coward|Air
Fredricus|Self
Freshmeat|Self
Krursk|Almighty Salmon
Lord Magtok|Timeout
Ominous|Self
pingcode20|Zombie pixe
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom|dallas-dakota
radikalskippy|Face of Evil
Raeden|Self
Raiser B1ade|dallas-dakota[/table]


Prisoners (4/27)
Aemoh
Almighty Salmon - Mexican midget, armed with pinecones
Atreyu - RAR!!!
banjo1985 - Big Jim Macguffin
Castaras - In life for doing 10 bad things
Cristo Meyers
dallas-dakota - Robs banks for money to buy cookies
Destro Yersul - Car thief
DivaDe21 - Paris Hilton
easyname - Evil ninja wielding a marshmallow on a stick
Exachix - Sentenced for 20 years for stealing apples
Face of Evil - 'Icepick'
Fin - Shifty, the guy who sells contraband
Hoggy - One-eyed pirate donkey
Indurain
Kantur
Lord Fullbladder - Nutcase guitarist
Mad Wizard - Guy who snuck in a crowbar
Mustadio - Football player
Neodan282 - Prisoner who found the armory
Raider - Insane paraplegic man charged with cruelty to butterflies
someonenonotyou - Super awesome pirate prisoner
thanatos5150 - Sam Fisher
The Bushranger
Vampiric - Hannibal Lecter
Zar Peter
Zombie pixe - 'The Knee Capper'

Guards (7/26)
Balford - New guy
Captain van der Decken
Doseki - Mr Mackay
Dr. Bath - Guard with oversided torch
Draken - Executioner who impales people on icicles
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus - FBI profiler who is a werewolf
Freshmeat - Clown (the one who was punched by Castaras)
Hexed - Prison cook
huyneo - Generic guard
Ink - Head warden
Kasz - Guard with yo-yo
Krursk - Lost Guardsman
Lord Magtok - Percy Wetmore (from The Green Mile)
Mordokai - Jose, lazy mexican guard who eats too much jalapeno
Ominous - James Bond
pingcode20
PirateMonk
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom - Guard with high-powered rifle in watch tower
radikalskippy
Raeden - Automatic disco laser gun
Raiser B1ade
Shadow
Stu42 - GLaDOS
Yeril - Jim, the guy in the watchtower
Yspoch


The odds for this round:
{table]Bet|Odds
Player survives the third round|2 to 3
Player survives the fourth round|2 to 5
Player survives the fifth round|1 to 6
Player survives the sixth round|1 to 13
Player survives the seventh round|1 to 28
Player makes at least one kill next round|2 to 5
Player makes at least one more kill|1 to 2
Player makes at least two more kills|1 to 5
Player makes at least three more kills|1 to 18
Player makes at least four more kills|1 to 80
Prisoner wins|1 to 4
Guard wins|1 to 2
Prisoners win|4 to 11
Guards win|7 to 11
Fleeing Coward kills himself again|1 to 2[/table]


Please submit your actions before Sunday, 18:00 GMT.

[Yspoch]

I'll bet my remaining 2 Copperpieces on Zar Peter winning the game!

[Andraste]

If I can do this, I'll bet 5 on guards winning and 5 on prisoners winning.

Also, could I be put on the auto-notify list?

[Lord Herman]

If I can do this, I'll bet 5 on guards winning and 5 on prisoners winning.

You can, but unless I miscalculated the odds, you won't win anything that way.

[Fleeing Coward]

Damn, the midget still lives. TIme to stop playing monopoly and put him back where he belongs

[Almighty Salmon]

Bring it on Coward, this midget ain't going down easily

[Ominous]

Hooray! This is the longest Bond has survived.

[Indurain]

Man...I hate that card...it always gets me.

[Zombie pixe]

hmmmm, can i borrow another 10 cp from the loanshark, even though i havent spent my monies yet?

Damn it

if i cant then ill put 10cp on gurads winning

[Lord Herman]

You can only borrow from the loan shark if you're out of money, including money in standing bets.

[Lord Herman]

“You’re nicked!” says radikalskippy, grabbing Zar Peter by the shoulder. “I know!” says the prisoner, “I’ve been in the isolation cell for two turns now!” “Never mind your stupid game. You’re going back to your cell right now!” Suddenly, Zar Peter pulls out a gun and shoots radikalskippy. “It was my turn, wasn’t it?” “No, you just landed on Chance, Peter.” “Oh, right, I got the ‘a guard tries to put you back in your cell, shoot the guard’ card. Silly me. Then it’s your turn, Fleeing Coward.” “Okay. I got a 5... hey, I land on Chance too! ‘You are attacked by a Mexican midget armed with pinecones. Kill him with a carefully prepared pit trap’.” “¡Ay caramba!” he hears behind him, followed by the sound of a Mexican midget armed with pinecones hitting the concrete floor of a pit trap. “Got him,” says Fleeing Coward. “Your turn, Captain.” “Okay,” says Captain van der Decken, “but first I’m going to get a few beers.” “Good idea,” says Fleeing coward. “¡Ay caramba!” he hears behind him, followed by the sound of Captain van der Decken falling on top of a Mexican midget armed with pinecones lying on the concrete floor of a pit trap.

Pingcode20 looks up as Raiser B1ade walks into the prison mess, carrying a large cage. “Look, pingcode20! I bought us a new prison pet!” “Awesome! What is it?” “Well, I thought of buying another small furry animal, but you know Percy. He’ll just stomp on it again.” “As usual. How many small furry animals is it now?” “Twenty-four, not counting the chinchilla.” “Percy killed the chinchilla, didn’t he?” “Well, we found him in his cage, flat as a pancake, but Percy still claims we didn’t feed it enough.” “Anyway, what’s this new pet you’ve got?” “A capybara,” says Raiser B1ade, taking the huge rodent out of its cage. “Neat!” “It’s way too big to squish, but it’s still a furry animal.” “Yeah, I don’t think Percy will be able to kill this one.” At the other end of the mess hall, Percy Wetmore takes out his notebook, and writes, ‘buy bigger boots’.