Wadledo's Weirdly Warbling Watercress Watching Washing Machine Only Random Banter #96

[Em Blackleaf]

^ That be Red Dwarf! Poor talky toaster

Can I have a cookie?

Uhm... not the one I was looking for... you get half a cookie and a *hug*.

[Lyesmith]

Futurama? Good news, everyone!

[Em Blackleaf]

Futurama? Good news, everyone!

That's it! * Gives Cookie *

[Volug]

Ever wondered what it's like to be insane?


Listen to this at full volume, and listen to it ALL.

It's driving me mad...

Whoever wins and proves it will get a cookie.

[Haruki-kun]

Hey, Masato?

I listened to it all.

I'm proud of myself now, even though I can still hear her. x_X

You know, she never annoyed me so much when I played the game. Until now...

[Volug]

*Gives cookie*

Even though theirs not much proof...

I listened through it half way... It sounds like Navi is actually saying;
"THIS IS, PAIN! THIS IS, PAIN! THIS IS, PAIN!"

And boy it is... X_X

[Copacetic]

I listened to the whole thing. For some reason All I heard was: "Link is PAAYYY!!!" Odd.

[Skippy]

Spoiler

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Yes, that pretty much wraps it.

[zeratul]

So not to bring down the banter or anything but I just realized that yesterday was the anniversary of the deaths of Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley. Both have them have meant a lot to me, and who I've become so this goes out to them.

[Em Blackleaf]

Awww. That's so sad. I love that song, though.

Ever wondered what it's like to be insane?


Listen to this at full volume, and listen to it ALL.

It's driving me mad...

Whoever wins and proves it will get a cookie.

At first it sounded like "Listen, Hey!" (that's what it's supposed to sound like, right?)
Then, it sounded like, "This is pain!" after I read your post about how it sounded like that.
Then I started trying to make it sound like different stuff. I ended up with "Liquored Paint!" and "Yikker Pay!" Which is obviously a sign of my deteriorating mental condition.
I got through all of it. "Man, this fairy is annoyin', let's kill it. Get back here, I'm gonna clip your wings off with a pair of tweezers."
Do I getta cookie?!

[Groundhog]

I'll give you a cookie just for getting farther than I did. *gives cookie* Man, that thing's scary.

[Jibar]

I dunno. If you can teach a toaster to feel love, then I'm sure you can teach a butter sculpture to fell love as well.
(Cookies for the reference!)

Listen to the thing what I say to you now.
Let me assure you.
Toasters can feel, but it is not love.
No. Toasters feel hate.
*casts hate eyes at his toaster*
It keeps trying to kill me...

[Volug]

At first it sounded like "Listen, Hey!" (that's what it's supposed to sound like, right?)
Then, it sounded like, "This is pain!" after I read your post about how it sounded like that.
Then I started trying to make it sound like different stuff. I ended up with "Liquored Paint!" and "Yikker Pay!" Which is obviously a sign of my deteriorating mental condition.
I got through all of it. "Man, this fairy is annoyin', let's kill it. Get back here, I'm gonna clip your wings off with a pair of tweezers."
Do I getta cookie?!

Yes, you get a cookie
*Hands cookie*

And those are awesome, Skippy. *Gives cookie too*

[Trog]

*comes in in an exterminator's outfit and gas mask. Sprays down the area in Fey-B-Gon™*

Whoo. Got quite the infestation of fairies here. Trog recommends leaving out a bowl of poisoned milk. 'Course that often gets cats too but you know... omelettes... eggs.

If that don't work Trog recommends picking up some over the counter RAID FAED.

[Serpentine]

Fairy exterminators, eh?

[Trog]

Yup. Trog's Card *presents card with flourish*

FAY-NO-MOR
E X T E R M I N A T O R S
From pixies to Treants
No job too big or too small

1-800-FAY-KILL
Trog, esq. - Proprietor

[Serpentine]

*pssst*, you know it's spelled "fey", right?

[Amotis]

It's obviously spelled "fae."

[Trog]

The F-E-Y phone number was taken already. Trog's chosen to take the next closest thing. Happens all the time in business.

*puffs on proprietor-sized cigar*

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I'm late on this, but...

Edit: And again, I seek inspiration for writing.
Provide me with some, Playground, PROVIDE ME!

Some first lines I haven't used:

• The UN was in uproar after Moses and Mohammed started taking swings at each other.
  
• As soon as I saw the dragon perched on his shoulder I knew there was a story to be had.
  
• Constantinople just hasn't been the same since the Turks took it over. Bloody tourists!
  
• It's annoying really. You just finish killing a guy and he comes looking for revenge already.
  
• Yeah, America used to be great. The world's policeman. Arsenal of Democracy. The Great Satan. Land of the Free. That was before the damn Kiribatans got going.
  
• The upshot of Dracon's Law, as any good Darwinist could have told you, was that we culled from our criminal population the slow, the stupid and the merciful.
  
• It isn't every day the body you're prepping for burial starts to complain.
  
• "Tragic really, young Adolph was one of our most promising students."
  
• "Waiter, there's a diamond the size of an egg in my soup."
  
• You want to buy the Dome for use as a hydroponics facility?
  
• "Elvis, we want you to assassinate the President."
  
• I wouldn’t have minded so much being ripped off, if only it wasn’t by a lower-order species. Ever since monkeys mastered typewriters the Internet has been nothing but trouble.
  
• And then the Archbishop’s militia kicked the front door in…
  
• All they wanted from us was music. Not our science or philosophy, certainly not our technology. Why would they want those? To them such things were meaningless.
  
• Jibar waved merrily at the glacier gliding past his window. Of course, calling the Europans such things was a little disrepectful...

Gee...Bulwer-Lytton much?

Spoiler

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The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the toad's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"
--Barbara C. Kroll

Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death--in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.
--Eddie Lawhorn

Upon discovering that his chief executioner Dr. Szekely had been secretly releasing prisoners, Vlad the Impaler ordered him to be skewered on one of the good doctor's own fiendish spears, when suddenly, not recognizing the type of wood that was slowly advancing through the screaming victim, the nutty Romanian ruler quipped "What's up doc?"
--David K. Lynch

Morty, a dedicated track and field athlete, was disqualified and charged with animal cruelty after giving Viagra to his 20-foot boa constrictor and using the snake to pole vault.
--JL Strickland

There was only one thought in Kurt's mind as his trembling hand and timid fingertips edged closer to the neck of Annabelle's silk blouse, his heart pounding ever faster in syncopation with her panting breaths, gentle cries coming from her slightly-parted lips, her pleading eyes wide with a primitive emotion--if only he'd kept a tighter hold on that gerbil.
--Jonathan Blay

The countdown had stalled at T minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably--the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career.
--Martha Simpson

For even MORE bad writing, Google "fiction contest" and click "I feel lucky."

[Player_Zero]

Ever wondered what it's like to be insane?


Listen to this at full volume, and listen to it ALL.

It's driving me mad...

Whoever wins and proves it will get a cookie.

I'm sure you've all already seen this, but just in case you haven't:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDsOi-8pNYE

It's like the inside of my brain...

[Dragonrider]

@Bor: I just wasted a bunch of time on that site. Pretty much made of awesome.

[Jibar]

I think I need to start smoking, or grow up a little.
Everytime I sit fidgeting with a pen I end pretending to smoke.
Last party I went to I managed to find a pen and ended up getting told of by someone for pretending to light it.

How long would it take one to get across America by hitching rides?

And would I look good with dreadlocks?

[bosssmiley]

Gee...Bulwer-Lytton much?

Gee...cheap shot much?

A good first line is supposed to be a hook; a single arresting image, ideally as much like a haiku as possible, that grabs the reader's attention and leaves them demanding an explanation of the story.

[Player_Zero]

I think I need to start smoking, or grow up a little.

Do both! All the cool kids smoke nowadays, and being mature is in fashion too. It's a two for one deal.
P.S. Don't smoke. Also, I'm working on a way to find Neverneverland in order to counteract any stupid notions of 'growing up.'

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Gee...cheap shot much?

A good first line is supposed to be a hook; a single arresting image, ideally as much like a haiku as possible, that grabs the reader's attention and leaves them demanding an explanation of the story.

Sorry, Boss. It's just that your silly lines reminded me so much of the "Dark and Stormy" sserries.

[YPU]

And would I look good with dreadlocks?

Wonder what a catmufin with dreadlocks looks like… quickly wonders of to think of something healthy.

[Kneenibble]

Kneenibble enters the thread with a pompous train.

"Tell me, my playgrounders -
Since now we will divest us both of rule,
Interest of territory, cares of state -
Which of you shall we say doth write poetry best,
That we our largest bounty may extend
Where nature doth with merit challenge?"

I am acting on behalf of the good Vaynor now; please consider joining either as a poet or a judge in the Iron Poet IV, because we are all itching to start, and need only two more of each for a full house.

Iron Poet IV

And now please resume your naturally occurring banter.

[InaVegt]

I gots a brand new avatar, and I don't even remember asking for it.

I also got to go to the hospital today, and I'm not lookin' forward to eet.

[Dragonrider]

Pardon me, but after reading all that awful writing, I can't help but be hypersensitive and therefore confused: you WENT to the hospital but you're not looking forward to it?