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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MrEdwardNigma's Avatar

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    Default The GM is an idiot

    You were all sitting in Hank's basement, wondering why you came here in the first place. None of you really knew Hank that well, but from what you'd seen he was pretty much a lost cause. Hank was a geekish kid with thick glasses and asthma, but worst of all he was a complete idiot. Still, you'd agreed to come when he'd asked you to play in his roleplaying game, because hey, he had to be good at something, right? Besides, his big brother Dan was a legend when it came to roleplaying. Toughest GM in the state, you'd heard. Hank couldn't be all that bad, could he?

    "Welcome, welcome you guys! I'm glad you're all here, this'll be so great, I almost can't wait! My mom made us some snacks and we even had some soda left, so feel free to take some, but not too much, or your character might get killed off! He-he-he-he-he-*cough* *wheeze* Eeeeeh, I'm only kidding off course. Or am I? He-he-he-he-he!"
    Hank pauzed to use his inhalor.

    "Riiiight. Anyways, I suppose we'd better roll up characters first. I'd like to start at the lowest possible level. Now, I've only had time to read a couple of pages of the book, so I wasn't able to find any information on level 0, howeveeeeer I was able to find some information about level 1, so I just tweaked it a bit myself so we can make beginner level characters. Now, level 1 characters are created by throwing six d20, but we'll be creating our level 0 characters by throwing five d20 and two d12! Aaaaand, as an extra bonus, you can even pick yourself what values to assign to what attribute. The attributes are Strenght, Intelligence, Wisdom, ehrm..."
    Hank pulls out his sourcebook, which still has a huge orange sticker on it reading "DISCOUNT! Misprinted edition". He flips through it a bit until he finds the page he needs.

    "Ah, yes, off course, Strenght, Intelligence, Wisdom, Constitution, Dexterity, Charisma and a homebrew attribute I call Awesomeness! Sounds good, doesn't it? Awesomeness is used to do all kinds of awesome stuff, but more about that later. Besides your attributes you'll also need to pick your class and race. Only sourcebook material guys, he-he-he-he-he..."
    Hank pauzes again to use his inhalor.

    "Sorry, guys, it's just the stress, I guess... Well, besides the stuff I've mentioned you need to think up a name, choose your sex and maybe think out a little character background, but not too much, we don't have all day, he-he-he-he-he. Good, there's plenty of paper to go around, and I gave you all some pencils too, so that's all you need to know, really. Get crackin'!"

    Okay, so Hank does seem to be pretty much a disaster at GMing. What will he do next, come up with a GM player character? Well, you've promised Hank you'd play his RPG and he'd probably be really hurt if you left, so you might as well pick up that pencil and write yourself a character sheet!

    The resulting character sheets:
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Drek, the destroyer

    Race: Bard
    Class: Halfling
    Sex: Male
    Player: Krono

    Strength: 6
    Intelligence: 6
    Wisdom: 9
    Constitution: 7
    Dexterity: 10
    Charisma: 14
    Awesomeness: 2

    AC: 14 (11)
    Hit Points: 6
    Experience: -350

    Equipped: Lute, Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword.
    Inventory: Hammer.
    Money: 58

    Character Background: Teal
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Xian Li

    Race: Elf
    Class: Monk
    Sex: Male
    Player: Duke of URL

    Strength: 8
    Intelligence: 6
    Wisdom: 17
    Constitution: 8
    Dexterity: 16
    Charisma: 4
    Awesomeness: 3

    AC: 13
    Hit Points: 8
    Experience: -400

    Equipped: Clothes, +1 sword
    Inventory: Piece of rope.
    Money: 3

    Character Background: Read 23 pages attachment.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dragonborn of Bahamut chosen bonus: Wings

    Race: Dragonborn Fire Hobgoblin
    Class: Wizard
    Sex: ???
    Player: Bayar

    Strength: 9
    Intelligence: 18
    Wisdom: 11
    Constitution: 17
    Dexterity: 13
    Charisma: 6
    Awesomeness: 1

    AC: 14 (11)
    Hit Points: 4
    Experience: -450

    Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

    Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword.
    Inventory: Staff with pitchfork tied to it
    Money: 15

    Character Background: ???
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    John John Binks

    Race: Human (He's just wearing a weird hat, okay?)
    Class: Rogue
    Sex: Yes, please
    Player: Koga

    Strength: 6
    Intelligence: 4
    Wisdom: 4
    Constitution: 12
    Dexterity: 18
    Charisma: 4
    Awesomeness: 8

    AC: 14
    Hit Points: 6
    Experience: -500

    Equipped: Clothes, dagger.
    Inventory: Shovel, two dead rats.
    Money: 4

    Character Background: I think he was a senator once, but they fired him two days after.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Jericho

    Race: Human
    Class: Necromancer
    Sex: Male
    Player: The Necroswanso

    Strength: 11
    Intelligence: 16
    Wisdom: 6
    Constitution: 10
    Dexterity: 7
    Charisma: 13
    Awesomeness: 6

    AC: 8
    Hit Points: 4
    Experience: -500

    Spells: Turn into Undead.

    Equipped: Clothes, staff.
    Inventory: /
    Money: 4

    Background: Seeking to gain the ultimate knowledge of undead and it's application of how it can be useful in the world.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dangalf the Black

    Race: Tiefling (Wait, wait, wait, aren't these supposed to be thieves?)
    Class: Wizard
    Sex: Male
    Player: Silkenfist

    Strength: 17
    Intelligence: 13
    Wisdom: 16
    Constitution: 10
    Dexterity: 3
    Charisma: 2
    Awesomeness: 18

    AC: 6
    Hit Points: 1 (4)
    Experience: -350

    Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

    Equipped: Clothes, staff.
    Inventory: /
    Money: 4

    Background: On a quest to become the most powerful wizard in the universe.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Kam Gompizo

    Race: Human
    Class: Cleric
    Sex: FeMale
    Player: Quxelopqr Zimmia

    Strength: 8
    Intelligence: 11
    Wisdom: 20
    Constitution: 17
    Dexterity: 3
    Charisma: 11
    Awesomeness: 2

    AC: 6
    Hit Points: 8
    Experience: -400


    Spells: Turn Undead.

    Equipped: Clothes, Bible.
    Inventory: /
    Money: 4

    Background: Sent by his God to go on a holy quest of some kind and probably slay some evildoers.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Physical

    Race: Human
    Class: Ranger
    Sex: Female
    Player: LatemYvaeh

    Strength: 14
    Intelligence: 1
    Wisdom: 2
    Constitution: 3
    Dexterity: 15
    Charisma: 10
    Awesomeness: 1

    AC: 15 (12)
    Hit Points: 8
    Experience: -450

    Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword, short bow, quiver: 10 arrows.
    Inventory: /
    Money: 4

    Background: Apprentice ranger.

    Mister Rat

    Race: Rat
    Class: Rat?
    Sex: Male
    Player: /

    Strength: 2
    Intelligence: 2
    Wisdom: 12
    Constitution: 10
    Dexterity: 15
    Charisma: 2
    Awesomeness: 0

    AC: 14
    Hit Points: 1
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Harry Rotter

    Race: Undead
    Class: Wizard
    Sex: Male
    Player: Hank

    Strength: 12
    Intelligence: 20
    Wisdom: 20
    Dexterity: 12
    Charisma: 20
    Awesomeness: 50

    AC: 14 (11)
    Hit Points: 4
    Experience: -400

    Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

    Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), staff.
    Inventory: Empty bottle marked resurrection, short sword.
    Money: 3

    Background: He learnt magic at a magic school! And then he died.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by MrEdwardNigma; 2008-04-18 at 10:04 AM.
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    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Nick let out a small sigh. Other games he'd been in were actually, you know, run by someone who knew the rules. He had promised though, and so decided he'd press on with it. The food, soda, and some people he knew already being here helped the cause too.
    "Alright Hank," he said, picking up his pencil and taking a character sheet, "I'll play a male human cleric, assinged by his God to go on a holy quest with the party or something. I brought some dice, so I'll get rolling." Awesomeness? That has potential, but let's see how I do.

    Spoiler
    Show
    I guess I'll roll here? And I like how this is set up by the way.
    (d20)[20]
    (d20)[11]
    (d20)[2]
    (d20)[3]
    (d20)[17]
    (d12)[8]
    (d12)[11]

  3. - Top - End - #3
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    Koga's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Koga grabbed himself and popped a can of diet moutain dew before Hank even meationed the word soda. He was drinking it and then heard this rolling dice crap.

    "This sounds increddibly random. I like it! I'll decide my character once I see what my dice..." *Grabs Nick's dice*

    "Rather what Nick's dice say..."

    (5d20)[12][3][3][2][12](32)
    (2d12)[7][3](10)

  4. - Top - End - #4
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    Koga's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    He looks over at Nick and takes another swig of diet dew.


    "Your dice suck Nick.." -.-


    Koga decides to play a a mad scientist wizard, he loves quantamn physics and he's going to pull off all kinds of wierd crap...FOR SCIENCE!

    Koga assigns his stats thusly:

    Strength: 3
    Dexterity: 3
    Constitution: 12
    Intelligence: 18
    Wisdom: 7
    Charisma: 12
    Awesomeness: 18

    Yes, Koga cheated before the game even started! It'd be too obvious if he made a stat 20, he has to be...subtle... He then quickly picks up the dice and gives'em back to Nick.
    Last edited by Koga; 2008-04-03 at 06:11 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MrEdwardNigma's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Hank looked at Koga over the rims of his glasses.

    "Hey, I saw that! Look, you guys, you can't cheat, okaaaay? If anyone tries to cheat from now on I'll make sure they pay!"

    He opens up a can of Dr. Pepper and guzzles some down.

    "Oh, and anyone who doesn't have inspiration, I still have three characters cooked up you can take instead of making one yourself. First come, first serve, he-he-he-he-he"
    Last edited by MrEdwardNigma; 2008-04-03 at 06:50 PM.
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    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Nick assigns his stats as follows:
    Strength: 8
    Dexterity: 3
    Constitution: 17
    Intelligence: 11
    Wisdom: 20
    Charisma: 11
    Awesomeness: 2

    Nick also takes a can of pop and sips a little as he waits for everyone else to roll up. "Sorry Koga, my dice aren't the luckiest ever. Decent roleplaying out of it though, right?"

  7. - Top - End - #7
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    Koga's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Koga says "pre-made characters eh? Could I see them?"

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Jeff simply stands in stunned silence for a moment. This guy's not really related to Dan, is he? Damn, I wish I had not been kicked out of every other group in town-he is a complete mor... waiiiit a minute. A perceptive observer would be able to discern the sound of gears turning in his head.

    He grabs himself a can of Root beer before seating himself, dice in hand.

    [roll0]
    [roll1]

    Staring at the results before him, he turns and asks, "So what exactly does this 'awesomeness' do?"

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Orc in the Playground
     
    The Necroswanso's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Wide eyed, Danial had been listening is disbeleif. He couldn't possibley have heard right, but just incase he was going a litle hard of hearing, Danial went along with it.
    Pulling his long, dyed a metallic purple hair from his face, he rose from his seat momentarily to remove his jacket, placed it on the back of his chair. Reaching into his backpack, he produced a velvet dice bag, a can of Mountain Dew's latest random color of energy drink, and began to roll and record.

    "Well Hank, if you don't care I think I'll be shooting for a Necromancer."

    And with that, he began the noisome rolling.

    (1d20)[16]
    (1d20)[11]
    (1d20)[13]
    (1d20)[7]
    (1d20)[10]
    (1d12)[6]
    (1d12)[6]
    Last edited by The Necroswanso; 2008-04-03 at 08:27 PM.
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    Remember kids, Vortigaunts say, "The Free Man is not a number."

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Orc in the Playground
     
    The Necroswanso's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Danial snarled at his dice. They had betrayed him yet again.
    He sighed exhasperatedly.

    "Fine. If that's how you want it."

    He began to assign his stats.

    Strength 11

    Dexterity 7

    Constitution 10

    Intelligence 16

    Wisdom 6

    Charisma 13

    Awesome 6

    "Pitiful."
    Last edited by The Necroswanso; 2008-04-03 at 11:09 PM.
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    Freemanatar by Phase, thank you ever so much.

    Remember kids, Vortigaunts say, "The Free Man is not a number."

  11. - Top - End - #11
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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    "You could always take a pre-made character Danial.."
    Last edited by Koga; 2008-04-03 at 11:57 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Orc in the Playground
     
    The Necroswanso's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Quote Originally Posted by Koga View Post
    "You could always take a pre-made character Hank.."
    ((I did write Hank didn't I. One page in and I'm already mixing myself up with DM.))

    "I'm not too much into pre-mades, thanks."
    Last edited by The Necroswanso; 2008-04-03 at 11:11 PM.
    The Necroswanson's Deviantart.
    Freemanatar by Phase, thank you ever so much.

    Remember kids, Vortigaunts say, "The Free Man is not a number."

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    (1d20)[18]
    (1d20)[17]
    (1d20)[9]
    (1d20)[13]
    (1d20)[11]
    (1d12)[1]
    (1d12)[6]

    Come on dice ! Give me the stats I need! says Keya.
    Erm, can I re-roll that 1? Because a stat with 1 is just plain retarded. I mean, it would preety much mean you are disabled in one of your stats.

    Please ?
    <insert puppy-dog eyes>
    Last edited by Bayar; 2008-04-04 at 01:15 AM.
    **** Photobucket ; RIP avatars

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    H Savvy's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    George looks around uncomfortably, his expression practically pleading for help. So many numbers... d-whats? d12? Which die was that one?

    "uh... maybe I should get one of those pre-made characters... I'm a little lost."

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MrEdwardNigma's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    ((I suggest we use the usernames from these forums as the names of your players because else I'll have three names to remember for everyone and that's just plain confusing...))

    "Randomlunatic, I think you'll have to roll again... Your dice seem to have fallen off the table... But if you mess up like that again I'm just going to give you a pre-made, okaaaaay?"

    He looks at the tray of somewhat stale apricot cookies his mom made for everyone and picks up a cookie.

    "Doesn't anyone want some cookies? They're pretty good, you know. Oh, and no, you can't reroll, bayar. You can take a pre-made if you like though. Oh, yeah, about the pre-mades, you don't get to see them before you're sure you want one. That way it's a surprise! He-he-he-he-he-he-hiiiiiiii *cough* *cough* erk"
    Hank struggles for a bit but then manages to recover that bit of apricot cookie he was choking on. He looks at the bit of coughed up cookie in his hand, shrugs and eats it.
    Avatar by the illustrious Dr. Bath.


    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Put a sock in it.

    I will make my stats as followed
    :

    STR: 9
    DEX: 13
    CON: 17
    INT: 18
    WIS: 11
    CHA: 6
    AWE:1

    For what I am going to create, Awesomeness will get a +30 bonus. So dont care about a 1 there.

    Domain wizard for me. Will have to choose what domain, that will be the tricky part. But I bet you are not prepared for what I have lurking in my dark and twisted mind.
    **** Photobucket ; RIP avatars

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    Orc in the Playground
     
    chrono's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Chrono dashes forward grabs the dice off the floor before Randomlunatic has had the chance to pick them up and gives him a slightly irritated look.
    Oh gimme that!, he says as he snatches the dice off the floor.

    {{OOC: the dice roller does not work with post preview, quote or post edit. Do not use or at least check your post AFTER posting.}}

    Not wanting to waste any more time, Chrono throws the dice on the table with a sharp flick of his wrist.
    (5d20)[17][7][6][2][6](38)
    (2d12)[4][3](7)

    Come on, COME ON, Jason the Male rogue. you can pretty much hear the emphasis on "male". Here goes for looting, pillaging and *cough* taking advantage of virgins with a low listen check. Chrono winks at the nearest player.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Holy crap those are some bad dice. Chrono shakes his head in despair, sits near the snacks and starts munching. On second thought, do you think I can get one of those pre-made characters? Maybe the most Awesome one. Chrono winks at the GM (you could all hear the emphasis again).

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MrEdwardNigma's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Hank looks at bayar nervously.
    "Yes, I, ehrm... Yes. He-he-he..."

    "Oh, you want a pre-made character, Chrono? Sure!"
    He starts leafing through his papers, accidentally dropping some on the floor with information on a deathtrap. It has a large drawing with numerous spikes, each one of which is labeled "poisonous".
    "Oh, here it is! You can have this one, Chrono. He's a halfling bard! His name is Drek, the destroyer! Pretty awesome, eh?"
    Hank seems to be serious.

    This is Chrono's character sheet:

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Drek, the destroyer

    Race: Bard
    Class: Halfling
    Sex: Male
    Player: Krono

    Strength: 6
    Intelligence: 6
    Wisdom: 9
    Constitution: 7
    Dexterity: 10
    Charisma: 14
    Awesomeness: 2

    Character Background: Teal
    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    "I included a picture from the, ehrm, internet. Your halfling looks a lot like that but, you know, with a lute instead of a sword and bow"
    Last edited by MrEdwardNigma; 2008-04-04 at 06:26 AM.
    Avatar by the illustrious Dr. Bath.


    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Orc in the Playground
     
    chrono's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Awesome? Chrono throws a quick look down the page, then back up. Yeah, I thought you'd be able to pull off something more... Awesome., Chrono sounds a bit nervous. Also that's not how you spell the name, but...
    Even though he speaks fast you can see the idea striking him over the head like a hammer on an anvil.
    What happens if your character dies? Reroll?
    Last edited by chrono; 2008-04-04 at 06:44 AM.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Library Lovers Contest Winner
     
    Duke of URL's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Duke does his best to keep his jaw from hitting the floor once the session starts. Good lord, what have I gotten myself into? The chance of any good RP here is next to none!

    He sighs, and picks up his (only) d20 and (only) d12 and rolls them as required.

    (1d20)[4]
    (1d20)[8]
    (1d20)[17]
    (1d20)[16]
    (1d20)[8]
    (1d12)[3]
    (1d12)[6]

    Well, those suck... but a flawed character is a better chance for some good solid roleplaying action. After all, we all know that character power and roleplaying are inversely proportional. They're not good rolls for a Monk, but I'll make them work somehow, since I've got this 23-page background for a monk already written and I've been dying to try it out before I finish the other 90%.

    "Finesse, that's the ticket. Let me assign those rolls as... strength 8, dexterity 16, constitution 8, intelligence 6, wisdom 17, charisma 4, and 'awesomeness' 3. Now, I'll play this as en elf monk, so that's a plus two to dexterity and a minus two to constitution... so that's..." he writes down, as if it were a 1st level character, and not a "0th level character":

    Xian Li
    LN Male Elf Monk
    Abilities: STR 8, DEX 18, CON 6, INT 6, WIS 17, CHA 4, AWE 3
    Feats: Improved Unarmed Strike*, Stunning Fist*, Combat Reflexes
    Skills: Listen +7, Spot +7
    BAB: +0; Grapple -1
    Attack: Unarmed -1 (1d6-1, 20/x2)
    Full Attack: Unarmed Flurry -3/-3 (1d6-1, 20/x2)
    HP: 6 (1d8-2)
    AC: 18 (DEX +4, WIS +4)
    Saves: Fort +0, Reflex +6, Will +5

    and then drops a 23-page handwritten document on top of it, calling it "backstory."

    (( Rather than actually write a 23-page backstory, I'll just be making random references to things that are supposedly in there, because no one is going to read it anyway. ))
    Last edited by Duke of URL; 2008-04-04 at 07:21 AM.


    My Homebrew
    Gronk by dallas-dakota

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Quote Originally Posted by MrEdwardNigma View Post
    Drek, the destroyer

    Race: Bard
    Class: Halfling
    Sex: Male
    Player: Krono

    Strength: 6
    Intelligence: 6
    Wisdom: 9
    Constitution: 7
    Dexterity: 10
    Charisma: 14
    Awesomeness: 2

    Character Background: Teal
    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    "I included a picture from the, ehrm, internet. Your halfling looks a lot like that but, you know, with a lute instead of a sword and bow"
    *jawdrop* You could use your rolls to make a better character than this joke of a bard. I mean, what the hell are those stats? Constitution should get the 9 at least. I would put a 10 there and a 9 in DEX, and look for a race that grants a DEX bonus.

    Writing his sheet, you can see that he has the following info:

    Race: Dragonborn Fire Hobgoblin (+4 CON, +2 INT, -2 CHA)
    Class: Domain Wizard (Transmutation)

    STR: 9
    DEX: 13
    CON: 21
    INT: 20
    WIS: 11
    CHA: 4
    AWE: 1

    Dragonborn of Bahamut chosen bonus: Wings
    Familiar: Raven (speaks common)

    Items: Spellbook (free)
    Clothes (free)
    Spell component pouch (20 GP)
    Ink+paper+quill (cheap as hell)

    Spells: all 0 lvl spells (mage hand at caster level +1 - domain bonus spell)
    1st level: Magic missile, Enlarge person, Lesser orb of fire, Shield, Mage armor, Ray of Enfeeblement, Expeditios retreat (at +1 caster level, bonus domain spell), Summon Monster 1, True Strike.

    Spells per day: 3+1 - 0 3+1 - 1

    Need to buy: UMD MW tool

    <some other things scribbled down that you dont understand)
    Ok, I am mostly ready to send my foes to the abyss. Need some gold for a couple of tools. Oh and a wand for my familiar.
    Last edited by Bayar; 2008-04-04 at 07:18 AM.
    **** Photobucket ; RIP avatars

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Orc in the Playground
     
    chrono's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Chrono stares at Duke, then at Bayar, then Duke, then Bayar again. He throws his hands up in despair. Well jeesh, I wouldn't be here if I just had workable rolls to begin with. I guess the only thing left to do is compensate with loot and stay behind the monk in combat.

    Chrono doodles on his character sheet nervously and whoever cares to look would see a bunch of scattered daggers around his character's image.
    Last edited by chrono; 2008-04-04 at 07:51 AM.

  24. - Top - End - #24
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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Hank looks nervously at Duke and bayar's character sheets, seeing a whole bunch of stuff he doesn't really understand.
    "Ehrm, wait, lemme see that, you guys"
    He grabs the sheets and starts scribbling on them eagerly, mainly crossing stuff out.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Xian Li

    Race: Elf
    Class: Monk
    Sex: Male
    Player: Duke of URL

    Strength: 8
    Intelligence: 6
    Wisdom: 17
    Constitution: 8
    Dexterity: 16
    Charisma: 4
    Awesomeness: 3

    Character Background: Read 23 pages attachment.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dragonborn of Bahamut chosen bonus: Wings

    Race: Dragonborn Fire Hobgoblin
    Class: Wizard
    Sex: ???
    Player: Bayar

    Strength: 9
    Intelligence: 18
    Wisdom: 11
    Constitution: 17
    Dexterity: 13
    Charisma: 6
    Awesomeness: 1

    Character Background: ???
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    "There you go, you guys. I know it's hard, but you really messed up on some of the numbers, and then there was all that clutter on your papers..."

    Hank guzzles down some more Dr. Pepper and looks at Chrono in surprise.
    "What happens when you die? Well, ehrm... I'm not sure yet. I... I hadn't thought of that. But I don't think we'll have time to reroll characters during the game, will we? I mean, he-he-he-he-he, that'd just be silly, right? I'll come up with something though, don't worry"
    Last edited by MrEdwardNigma; 2008-04-04 at 09:30 AM.
    Avatar by the illustrious Dr. Bath.


    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  25. - Top - End - #25
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    chrono's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Chrono opens his mouth to reply. Before Hank had spoken, Chrono had the urge to ask what happens in the case of a TPK, hoping to arrange a reroll, one way or another.

    In fact he just stared blankly for a moment, jaw dropped while a general expression of disbelief sat on his face. He eyed the other players with desperation, looking for support or at least a bit of a compassion.

    He then shrugs, puts his character sheet away and focuses on the cookies.
    So are we ready to start already?he says without looking up. Might as well do, I wanna see how much loot I can grab before we all croak.

  26. - Top - End - #26
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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Koga thought about the two options, on one hand he'd be completely under the mercy of the GM and his crappy pre-made sheets. On the other hand: His rolls sucked royally. He thought to himself this is worst then voting...


    "I'll take a pre-made character sheet too! A hobbit destroyer sounds pretty awesome."

    Koga also thinks he's the only one who gets the useless hobbit reference. Althought the original had a mandalin, not a lute.
    Last edited by Koga; 2008-04-04 at 09:10 AM.

  27. - Top - End - #27
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    MrEdwardNigma's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    "See, that's the spirit, Chrono! I can't wait to get started either, but there are still some people working on their character sheets. There's even two people who haven't made their rolls yet!"
    Hank looks rather angrily at RandomLunatic and H Savvy over the rims of his glasses, but then the glasses fall off his nose and he has to go look for them under the table.

    Hank eventually ends up in the lap of Koga. He puts back on his glasses and says, rather embarrasedly "Oh, you want a pre-made character? that's great! Here you go. I only have one left now, you guys, so if anyone wants one I'd hurry up to say so. I'm looking at you, H Savvy! Well, I'm actually looking at Koga's crotch right now, but I didn't really mean to, he-he-he-he-he-huuuurk *cough *cough* *cough* "

    While Hank is coughing in his crotch, Koga has a chance to look at his new character sheet:

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    John John Binks

    Race: Human (He's just wearing a weird hat, okay?)
    Class: Rogue
    Sex: Yes, please
    Player: Koga

    Strength: 6
    Intelligence: 4
    Wisdom: 4
    Constitution: 12
    Dexterity: 18
    Charisma: 4
    Awesomeness: 8

    Character Background: I think he was a senator once, but they fired him two days after.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Avatar by the illustrious Dr. Bath.


    The essence of a riddle is that it states facts by means of a combination of impossibilities~Aristoteles

    Help me run my very first campaign.

  28. - Top - End - #28
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    Koga's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Koga ignores the uncomfertable position he was in for a moment, guys wanting to get close to him was nothing new. Like if he was wearing a cursed ring of charm person...


    He looks at his sheet and for the first time he's not talking. He just stares at it blankly, blinks alot.. then looks at everyone else, then looks back at the sheet.


    "All in all I gotta' say you did a good job of making the character simaler to the person playing it..."

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    {OOC: That explains it-I always preview posts for spell-checking}

    "That's what you get for taking my dice. I'll have those back, thank you very much," RandomLunatic says as he reaches across Chrono's face and retrieves his wayward polyhedrals.

    (5d20)[58]
    (2d12)[15]

  30. - Top - End - #30
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    Koga's Avatar

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    Default Re: The GM is an idiot

    Koga gets up to get another soda.

    "I cast stinking cloud on you RandomLunatic, with the meta-magic feat silent spell..."


    It was a silent fart. XP


    He then comes back with two and cracks them open one in each hand. Spraying a little at RandomLunatic.

    "I also have two-weapon fighting.." XP

    He drinks one and the other, one and the other


    "Did any of you remember to invite a sister or something?"
    Last edited by Koga; 2008-04-04 at 09:34 AM.

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