The GM is an idiot

[RandomLunatic]

{Look, I am still learning the forum roller, OK?}

(1d20)[3]
(1d20)[11]
(1d20)[15]
(1d20)[16]
(1d20)[20]
(1d12)[3]
(1d12)[4]

Ugh! RandomLunatic chokes out. Noting the numbers, he grabs a book of his, a eice of paper, and a pencil, and gets up, retreating to the corner and starts scribbling furiously on the sheet.

[Duke of URL]

Duke tries to rally the troops. "Guys... remember, it isn't about having the most powerful characters, it's about having fun. And conversation. Lots of conversation. Lots of conversation about our characters, their past, the future, what they're feeling. Character weakness are roleplaying strengths!"

Looking over at Koga, he continues, "that face-in-the-crotch thing actually reminds me of something in Xian Li's background... lemme see..." He flips through pages. "Yes, here on page 14. 'Xian was surprised when the Master grabbed him by the'... well, you can read the rest for yourself," he says as he pushes the tome over.

[chrono]

{{OOC: you should use 'rollv' instead of 'roll' if you want to see stats that work in our context. Pity, those were remarkably above-average rolls.}}

Chrono points at Koga's sheet and his hand hangs in the air for a bit. He speaks at nobody in particular and his voice is quiet, so with all the action around him and Koga attracting attention his words can be easily missed.
Hey...
I wanted to be the rogue, this one has pure awesome Dex too...
I could...
I could have had so much fun killing off enemies before the party can react...
And sleight of hand...
I...

It is pretty clear that Chrono has resigned to his fate, as he looks down and munches a few more cookies.

[RandomLunatic]

He returns a few minutes later, the top left quarter of the sheet marked with a semi-legible scrawl. One taking time to decipher the handwriting would learn it says:

Grogg
Race: Water Orc Dragonborn (Breath)
Sex: M
Size: M
Class: Lion Spirit Totem, Whirling Frenzy Barbarian
Player: RandomLunatic

STR: 24 (28)
DEX: 9
CON: 20
INT: 3
WIS: 2
CHA: 3
AWE: 16

Background: Grogg smash!

{Chrono: Now you tell me.}

[MrEdwardNigma]

Hank gets out from beneath the table, knocking his head in the progress. He then grabs RandomLunatic's character sheet and looks over it.
"Heh, heh *wheeze* *cough* Ehrm, now, you didn't think you'd get away with this, did you? I mean, messing up the numbers can happen to all of us, but a 28? Here's the corrected version"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Groggy

Race: Orc
Class: Barbarian
Sex: M
Player: RandomLunatic

Strength: 20
Intelligence: 3
Wisdom: 3
Constitution: 16
Dexterity: 15
Charisma: 4
Awesomeness: 11

Character Background: Grogg smash!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Quxelopqr]

Qux sits calmly at the table, taking another drink when he finished the first one. "Here's my sheet Hank." Please don't screw it up too much.

Kam Gompizo
Race: Human
Class: Cleric
Sex: M
Player: Quxelopqr
Strength: 8
Dexterity: 3
Constitution: 17
Intelligence: 11
Wisdom: 20
Charisma: 11
Awesomeness: 2
Background: Sent by his God to go on a holy quest of some kind and probably slay some evildoers.

[MrEdwardNigma]

"He-he-he-he-huuurk. I think that's the first real good character sheet I've seen, Quxelopqr. I'm not going to change anything about it"

[Koga]

Koga thinks to himself and he rubs his hands together:
We are dealing with a mastermind here! Oh sure... he pretends to be a n00b, but all our attempts at cheating and powergaming have failed! And now I'm stuck being the rogue! They're going to want me to disarm traps and stuff! I saw that poison spike bed! If they think I'm gonna' be a 3.5 rogue they got another thing coming! Mo' like a first edition rogue! Mwahahaha!

[The Necroswanso]

"There we go, got the bare bones down. Tell me what yuh think Hank."
The Necroswanson hold his paper up for the GM to review. He keeps it within his posession however and keeps one hand over some text, obviously blocking it from being seen.

Name: Jericho
Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Level: 1st level
Gender: Male
Player: Necroswanson
STR 11
DEX 7
CON 10
INT 17
WIS 6
CHA 13
AWE 6
Background: Seeking to gain the ultimate knowledge of undead and it's application of how it can be useful in the world.


The Necroswanson raises an eyebrow at Koga, who was apparently rubbing his hand together.
"A little cold for you Koga?"

[Duke of URL]

Duke sees the smile crossing Koga's face. "That's the spirit! I assume you've just thought of a few amusing anecdotes about your character that you'll casually drop into the game, right?"

[Silkenfist]

Silkenfist runs into the room, darting around the table, clapping his hands furiously: "Ooh! Ooh! May I play, too? May I? May I? Can I play a Wizard? I heard someone say on the internet they are awesomz? Prettyplz?" Before anyone can even think of interrupting him, he grabs a fistful of dice and tosses them across the table, scattering them between the other ones. Undeterred, he just picks up seven of them and declares them to be his rolls:

(1d20)[10]
(1d20)[13]
(1d20)[17]
(1d20)[19]
(1d20)[16]
(1d12)[2]
(1d12)[3]

[Silkenfist]

"Yes! In your face, suckers! In your face!" Silkenfist jumps up and down and hits the table, causing soda to spill over all other character sheets.

Okayy.....
19 goes to Awesomeness, since Wizards are awesome
17 goes to Strength since Wizards are strong, too
16 goes to Wisdom cause he is also wise and ancient and badass and stuff.
13... 13 goes to Intelligence, I think someone on a forum said something about it.
10...10 goes to Constitution...I guess...
3 goes to Dexterity because I..uhm...I have no idea what it means
2 is Charisma cause y'know any more and he would be a queer pansy, right?"

He laughs childishly and runs upstairs to tell Hank's mum about his rolls and his awesome wizard.

[Koga]

-.-* <---This is Koga's annoyed look.


But the look quickly passes... The damn annoying child could be useful to him. For he is the key to controlling the game-master! He thinks to himself laughing inside his head:

I win L!
Err....Hank...

[The Necroswanso]

Necroswanson watched the newcomer, eyetwicthing, teeth grinding, digging his nails into the table. This was already shaping up to be quite a night.
As the child ran up stairs Necroswanson clutched his head as though he had just received a migrain, and let out a blood-curddling scream. A terrible high pitched shriek almost like you'd imagine that of a banshee.
When he was finished he took a drink from the large can he had removed from his backpack.
"Much better.
Did anyone else catch him saying his wizard would have 13 intelligence?"

[Duke of URL]

Duke smiles. "Yes, I did. He'll have a hard time playing up to a 13, don't you think?"

[Koga]

Did anyone else catch him saying his wizard would have 13 intelligence?"[/COLOR]

"Ah well, if he dies he dies. Let's get this party started!

Get it?! Party?! I made a funny!"

[Bayar]

I grab the GM's neck. Not to be rude or anything, but I have a switch-blade in my left pocket and an axe in my car.

The Dragonborn Fire Hobgoblin gets bonuses to his inteligence and constitution, and a penalty to charisma. So it is nothing wrong. (no really, it is true)

I appear to be kinda frustrated. But I will kill him if he tries to mess with my character again.

[Koga]

"Oooh!"

Koga gets out his webcam and takes a picture.


"This is going on my myspace lol!"

[Duke of URL]

Duke looks shocked for a moment, then his expression changes to one of interest, as he says, "Ooh... that gives me an idea for Xian Li's background," and starts scrawling some notes on some loose-leaf paper he has next to him, completely ignoring the fact that he is, indeed, sitting right next to an ongoing assault-and-battery case.

[chrono]

Chrono bites on a cookie, sighs, then in a flash jumps up, grabs bayar by the shoulders (from behind) and shakes him violently.
Come on, give it a rest. Let's just get this over with... Err, let's start, I mean.

[Quxelopqr]

"Heh, yeah. No sense killing each other here, save it for the game." How long until rocks fall and he dies? I give it 5 minutes. Quxelopqr takes another sip of his drink, knowing full well that a small kid with athsma wouldn't try anything on a kid with a knife with him.

[The Necroswanso]

Necroswanson snarls through his hair.
"And I Bayar have a buck knife in my backpack. I will not have you threatening our host. He was generous enough to invite you, it is his game and you should feel honored that he has not rejected it entirely.
If he sees it needing to be fixed he is GM and that is his perogative. Now pelase, take a seat."
His voice was harsh, cruel and biting. He did not infact have a bucknife, but he did remove his jewelry before entering. What he did have infact in his backpack were two iron maidens, several rings an a necklace with a pentagram. They were sitting for all the world to see however, so anyone could have called his bluff, but then again, the iron maidens would work just as well in his opinion.

[Koga]

"Damn you Necroswanso! You're ruining the fun! Hank could probably putup a fight. Did you know there are steroids in inhalers?!"

[Silkenfist]

Hasted steps announce the kid running down the stairs again, waving his sheet victorously. Completely oblivious to the growing conflict he pulls a chair with him and forces himself right between the DM and Bayar.
"Can we start now? Right now? Can we fight some monsters?" Silkenfist looks around, noting the irritated looks. "Oh, right. My sheet."

Dangalf the Black
Race: Tiefling
Class: Wizard
Sex: M
Player: Silkenfist
Strength: 17
Dexterity: 5 4
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Charisma: 0 1
Awesomeness: 19
Background: On a quest to become the most powerful wizard in the universe.

"Guys...look at this. No, LOOK. I've been on the net again and they said wizards need more Intelligence. So I made him a Tiefling. Now he's super smart and his daddy is a Succubus...and the best thing is, he loses 2 Charisma and has 0 Cha. He's TOTALLY badass now."
As he stops to breathe, Silkenfist notices the rolling eyes around him. After one of the other players takes the time to explain to him what 0 Cha means, he pulls out an eraser.

"Boo. Rules lawyer. You're not fun. OK, I change Dex and Cha and then I remove two, that means..." he counts with his fingers for a while "I have 1 Charisma now. As badass as it gets, right!" He looks cheerfully at Necroswanso.

[The Necroswanso]

Necroswanson sighs.

"As abdass as it gets if you have the charm of roadkill.
Charisma is you ability to deal with people around you. Your personality. 1 is about the same thing you're doign now, only you're what, 12? What's your characters' excuse?"

[Koga]

"Don't listen to Necroswanso Silkenfist! He just wants all the glory for himself! I think your sheet is impressive!

You can trust me to help your character get all kindsof cool stuff. The character is only as badass as the player, these guys don't have the chutzpuh you do.."

Koga just grins when he stops talking.

[Silkenfist]

"Bah...Charisma is something for weak little girlies. You don't need to deal with people around you if you're an all powerful wizard yourself, right? You need nobody, just go around and throw Forcecages at anyone who disagrees. Got it?"

Hearing Koga's praise, Silkenfist's eyes begin to glow. "Really? You want to see how it goes on, too? I thought of making him Evoker, right. So he gets more Missiles and Fireballs and stuff. And this Abjuration and Transmutation stuff you don't really need."

[Koga]

"Really? You want to see how it goes on, too? I thought of making him Evoker, right. So he gets more Missiles and Fireballs and stuff. And this Abjuration and Transmutation stuff you don't really need."

"That sounds really good.. But I personally would keep transmutation.

I mean think about it like this... would you rather fry your opponents with a fireball?

Or crush them down to sand by using space and time itself? With my knowledge of quantamn physics, you could litterally make the sky fall on us if you wanted...

But then, fireballs work too. The principle is the same. Don't mess with the wizard..."

[The Necroswanso]

Necroswanson raises an eyebrow.
"Forcecage!? Isn't that World of Darkness?"

[Koga]

Necroswanson raises an eyebrow.
"Forcecage!? Isn't that World of Darkness?"

"Yeah, you'd know alot about world of darkness gothboy...

LET'S FRIGGIN GET ON WITH THIS! WHILE WE'RE YOUNG!"

He looks over at Silkenfist;
"So Silkenfist, you got any female friends at school?"