World of Legacy, looking for advice on my hombrew world

[Zyme]

The world of legacy
I came up with this world in 9th grade and it was stewing for the last 6 years before I finally put it to paper, I am running a trial game on rpol now and I would like to know what other's thoughts on the world would be


The legend of the great darkness

In the beginning, the great races lived in relative peace. They interchanged as the races had for generations and the status quo was upheld. The world had just began to see new discoveries: literature, mathematics, poetry, and many other enlightened endevours.

Then the darkness came. Though its coming had been foretold long before, the races believed it was so far off that it would never happen. It started like a chill on first sign of winter, that first realization that the wind has shifted. The shadow of fear began to descend upon the entire world, but before his plans could reach fruition, he was discovered. It was the legendary general Marthul, the greatest Orc of his time, arose from the evil tribes of the orc and united them against the evil. So great was this foe that they were willing to forget old rivalries and fight side by side.

Despite this strength, it was not enough. Marthul then over came the odds for the second time, he sought out the leaders of the other great races to come and unite agins the great evil. From the east came the proud Dwarves in their shining mithril mail. Behind the dwarves came the gnomes, inquisitive and talented with alchemy, ready to serve. Then from the plains of the northwest came halflings, aptly known for stealth. From the South came elves, their bows and face glinting in their godlike grace and perfection. From everywhere came the humans, their varied cultures and varied interests showing its value. But from the southeast came a "no". From their island fortress the Half-elves said they did not believe there was such a threat that they need be involved in.

Together the allies gathered, and the greatest battle in history was waged on the dark forces gathered around the great northern rift. It raged for months, and the tide slowly but gradually turned against the allies. Again a plea was sent to the Half-elves, but again the answer was no. Against all odds (for the third time), Marthul lead a last-ditch raid to seal the rift. Leading the great champions of all the races: Gloin son of Groin (dwarf), Hamfast (Halfling), Uthor of Ragdar (Humans of the east), Pelagar of Normance (humans of the west), Elara (Elf), Forlo (Gnome). Together they spearheaded the charge and broke the center of the darkness' line. They fought to the rift itself. Bloodied and dying from the epic battle, Marthul lifted his greathammer and with his dying act threw himself upon the rift and sealed it with his last breath. With the rift sealed, the great multitude of creatures that had come fourth scattered to the four winds and left the battleplain scarred and lifeless.

Together, the champions carried their heroic leader back in honor. Even today his name is sung in honor in all corners of the world. Though the enemy was defeated, it lefts the participants all but destroyed themselves. They returned to thier scarred homelands. Untouched in this whole affair were the half elves. Many races still carry great scorn for their non-participation. While they enjoyed a golden era, the rest of the world was set back centuries.

Races of Legacy

Human lands
Western Lands: similar to the Western Europe in affluence during the High Middle Ages. Mostly populated by humans but with many of the minor races spread throughout.
Tyre: This city-state would be akin to western Romania in flavor. Slavic but still carrying many western influences
population: 10,500
90%human
5% Dwarven
3% Gnome
2% other
surrounding areas: 20,000
80%human
7% Dwarven
5% Gnome
3% halfling
3% orc/half orc
2% other
standing army: 1,500 men drawn from population
Eastern Lands: Primarially made up of tribal leaders under the lead of a powerful warlord. They mirror the Ottoman Empire in scope and culture. The eastern extent of this region begins to more reflect the far east.

Elven lands
Elven lands are spread about the world in various pockets where the Great Forrest still exist (mainly to the Northwest and southwest lands. Their system of government is repressive form of Representative Theodemocracy. Where each delegate is elected based upon the vote of priests from the different temples. The priests the vote for the leaders of the people. This has often lead to opressive religious zealots chosen from the priests own ranks. About 1/40 elves lives outside the borders of "elven lands" for this specific reason.

Reasons for adventuring: either fleeing the repressive government or trying to find their place in the wide world, elves can be found in nearly every city in the world (even some are in the orc capital).

Orc Lands

These proud peoples occupy the mostly-barren plains of the north. Despite what you might expect, they have very strong central government. Similar to the Klingons from Star Trek, they are ruled by counsel of leaders of the various factions headed by the High Chancellor chosen from their ranks.

These people are often found outside of thier borders, mainly due to their voracious breeding and chaotic nature. Though most in their homelands veer towards LE and upwards of NG, those found outside are often outcasts and are less friendly. It is not unknown these people have been found to be alligned with other evil creatures such as goblins or kobolds.

changes to the Orc:
no light sensitivity: the orc have spend to much time above ground that they have adapted to its bright conditions.

Dwarven Lands

Though it can be said that the dwarves greatest strongholds exists to the northwest extent of the continent (in the Rust Mountain Range), there are scattered pockets of dwarvendom all over the place. Because they are such execeptional miners they are found basically anywhere precious minerals can be found.

culture
They, as a people are talented in the creation and implementation of alchemical and mechanical equipment, reflected in thier relative affluence as compared to the other races (exceeded only by the half elves and equal to that of the gnomes)

Changes to the entry in the phb entry for dwarves
• Any dwarf treats any non-siege firearm as a martial weapon. Therefore, does not have to take the EWP to use such weaponry given MWP

Gnome Lands

The Gnomes are inhabitants of the northeast highlands plains. They gather in close proximity, but do not from the large city-states of the humans. They tend to gather in largish villages of around 3-500 residents each.

Culture
Curious and inventive, they love to experiment and tinker with alchemical substances. They have many close ties with the halflings that live among them and the Dwarves with whom they share close economic ties.

Changes to the gnome entry in the PHB:
• Any gnome treats any non-siege firearm as a martial weapon. Therefore, she does not have to take the EWP to use such weaponry given MWP

Half-Elven

Centered on the peninsula and isle to the far southwest. They border the human lands to the north. It is a fertile and rural plain to north and much colder urban centers to the south.

culture
The half-elves are have a political north-south divide. They recently fought a major civil war over the enslavement of humans. The south had no need for slave for its industrial production, but the north's economy depended on it. This friction led to the death thousands of men on either side. This battle ended in the north being defeated but it nearly led to the destruction of the entire country.

Recent History
Two decades ago, had you said that the half-elf nation would nearly ripped apart from within, you would have been laughed at. Recent moves within the public view of slavery in the south (the colder and industrial centers) swung way away. This came into the conflict with the north who regularally used such means to boost agricultural outputs. They two began to have growing friction inbetween them. This led to a devastating civil war. Brother fighting brother, father fighting sons. Over six-hundred thousand died all told (almost 7% of the total population died). In the end, the south prevailed over the agricultural north and barely repeled an invasion from human kingdoms from the north trying to capitalize on the the weakened state. After long 6 year war, people returned to their lands, but you cannot really ever go back. That was 10 years ago and there is still resentments

technology
Their land is rich in saltpeter (potassium nitrate, KNO3) that has allowed to them to produce gunpowder in large quantities. This is the key to their success. They have been able use the technology to reach out beyond their borders and take valuable resources.

After their non-participation in the great darkness, they were able to progress technologically unabated. They have reached the levels of that of the late 1860s (post civil war era) unlike the rest of th world which is just now reaching the Renaissance-era technology.

changes to Half-elf race
these changes replace that from in the PHB
• Medium size
• +2 dex, -2 cha
• 30’ movement
• Low-Light Vision
• Immunity to magic sleep
• +2 Racial bonus on saves vs. Enchantments
• +1 Racial bonus on Listen, Search, & Spot checks.
• Able to use “elf only” items
• +2 Racial bonus on Diplomacy & Gather Information checks, only with other half-elves.
• Any half elf treats any non-siege firearm as a martial weapon. Therefore, does not have to take the EWP to use such weaponry given MWP

Weapons of Legacy
The world of Legacy has one major difference from your regular DnD fantasy world, gun have begun to appear on the scene, and are the main weapon for some armies (notably the half-elves). Though it is still uncommon in the commoner's ranks, adventurers and nobles have found the potential of the weapon range and damage great. After the recent half-elf civil war, the many thousands of rifles and carbines made by the two sides have found their way into non half-elven hands and have been seen on both wrong side the the law in some of the human lands and into the waiting hands of adventurers.

Use of firearms by race
Humans: by in large do not employ muskets on the battlefield due to the high expense and their lack of ability to produce sufficient amounts of gunpowder to field them on a large scale. That said, rulers and well-to-do nobles will often use them as personal defense weapons. Though the use as siege weapons is not uncommon for the richer human kingdoms.
Orcs: An orc with a gun is rare, one that can field one effectively is even rarer. Often uses are limited to the blunderbuss.
Elves: these are creature of habit, they have resisted the acceptance of this technology at every junction. Seeing a elf with a gun usually means you confuse him with his half-elf kin. They still by-in-large rely on the tried-and-true bow and arrow for warfare.
Halflings: Though gnomes and halflings are often in close proximity, the do not general acceptance as the Gnomes. They tend to regard such noisy weapons with suspicion. Explosives, are a different matter.
Dwarves: ever since they began working with the gnomes to mine and extract the sulfur needed for the concoction, they have taken a shine to the gun. Working with the gnomes they too love the doubled barreled rifle and shotgun.
Gnomes: next to the half-elves, these people use these weapons on a regular basis. Their ability to produce the gunpowder in quantity makes if viable for may to field the weapon. Even your average merchant to have piece or two.
Half-Elves: Mainly due to their isolationist attitude that allowed them to miss the great darkness, their level of firearms technology is equivalent to Post American Civil War. They protect their interests abroad with their devastating use of deadly accurate and rapid firing cartrage technology. Being caught in posession of a Half-elf made piece (the revolver as well as the the repeating rifle and below) is illegal and is dealt with harshly. This enforcement is often limited to their immediate trading partners and becomes lax the further east and north you travel.


Personal firearms (exotic weapon [firearms])
Name Cost size Damage Crit Range Weight Reload Magazine Useage
Pistol 200 1-handed 2d4 X3 50ft 3 lbs move 1 HE,D,G,H
Revolver 250 1-handed 3d4 X3 50ft 5 lbs 6 move 6 HE
-cap and ball
Revolver° 350 1-handed 3d4+2 X3 60ft 5 lbs full 6 HE
Shotgun 400 2-handed 4d4-X* X3 25ft 12 lbs 2 full 2 D,G
Musket 400 2-handed 3d4 X3 120ft 12 lbs full 1 D,G
Blunderbuss300 2-handed 6d4-2X* X3 15ft 10 lbs full 1 D,O,H
Rifle 800 2-handed 4d4+2 X3 120ft 15 lbs full 8 HE
-leaver action repeating
Rifle 600 2-handed 5d4 X3 150ft 12 lbs full 1 HE
Carbine 750 2-handed 5d4 X3 120ft 10 lbs move 1 HE
Rifle° 1000 2-handed 5d4+2 X3 170ft 13 lbs move 1 HE
-trapdoor breechloader
Rifle° 1500 2-handed 5d4+2 X3 200ft 15 lbs move 1 HE
-Sniper's
Rifle° 1250 2-handed 5d4+2 X3 170ft 15 lbs full 5 HE
-Mouser's

*damage is reduced by the modifier per range increment for shotguns and the blunderbuss
°Fires the self contained round

Pistol: Your standard 1-shot medieval pistol. It is a common sight even among human kingdoms.


Cap and ball revolver:
Pistol that is loaded similar to a muzzle loader, but it has 6 cylinders that each can hold powder and a ball. You may also load this weapon with paper cartrages. These cost the same as a round and decrease the loading time to 1 full round.


Revolver: Pistol with six chambers contained within a revolving cylinder. The newest innovation is the break-open action, where the gun breaks in half for easier loading.


Shotgun/Rifle, double barreled: how do you make a weapon that take so long to reload better, double the time before needing to reload and add a second barrel. The gun can be loaded with different ammunition in each barrel. Can be sawed off and used as a 1-handed weapon, but it incurs a -2 accuracy in addition to 2-weapons fighting penalities.


Musket: Earliest muzzle-loading weapon. Powerful, but slow to reload.


Blunderbuss:
If you take a large bore barrel and pour gunpowder in. Then follow it with every bit of scrap metal you can find and you get the blunderbuss


Rifle, leaver action: Early rapid fire rifle. Using the cocking handle, the spent shell is ejected while a new one is loaded.


Rifle:first true "rifled" weapon. still a muzzle-loader it is inexpensive to make but still slow to reload.


Carbine: By shortening the length of the barrel of a rifle, though the range is decreased, you make reloading much easier.


Rifle, trapdoor: Eveloution of the rifle for faster reloading. With the advent of the self contained round, the trapdoor rifle became viable. A hold open up in the breech to allow the rifle to be loaded from the rear, making reloading much faster. Standard rifle of the half-elven combined armed forces (HECAF).


Rifle, sniper's: By using primative telescoping sights and with advances in the bullet technology, the sniper rifle was born. Deadly accurate at long ranges, this rifle can reach out a touch their target with ease. The penalties for range are decreased to -1 per range increment.


Rifle, mouser's: The latest innovation in the rifle technology, by combining the self contained round with the newly designed bolt-action technology, the rifle is rapid to reload because it contains a internal 5-round box magazine (esepcially when using stripper clips). When using a stripper clip, this weapon reloads with one move action.


Bayonets
Name Cost Damage Crit Range Type Useage
Bayonet 50 1d10 X2 Melee P all rifles
-socket
Bayonet 50 1d8 19-20X2 Melee S/P all rifles
-bladed
*All bayonets impose a -1 penalty to accuracy of firing the rifle while attached

Bayonet, socket: early form of bayonet. Makes the rifleman capable of using his rifle in melee combat.


Bayonet, blade: evolution of the bayonet. The socket has recent lost favor in its stead the more blade-like bayonet.


Ammunition and accessories
Name Cost Quantity Weight Compatible arms
Flint 5 50 shots 1 lb muzzleloaders
Powder Horn 70 2 lbs (32 oz) 2 lbs muzzleloaders
Powder Keg 500 15 lbs (240 oz) 20 lbs Muzzleloaders
Bullets 6 10 balls 2 lbs Muzzleloaders
-ball
Bullets 10 10 balls 2 lbs Muzzleloaders
-mini
Round 30 10 rounds 1 lbs Cartrage firearms
Clip 50 5 rounds .5 lbs Mouser's rifle
-stripper

Flint: your standard flint striker necessary to fire a weapon. Good for 50 uses before wearing out an needing to be replaced


Powder: Basic gunpowder, useless if wet and explosive if exposed to a flame. Takes 1 ounce of powder to fire a bullet.


Bullet: Your standard round lead ball, similar to what was in use for the sling for years.


Bullet, mini: The first true bullet. Conical in shape and flouted at the bottom, it deforms as it is fired to fill the barrel and deals much more nasty wounds. Adds a +2 to the damage.


Round: one of the most important evolutions in bullet design. By putting together a primer, powder and bullet into a brass cartrage, the akward reloading of the gun is all but eliminated. This allowed guns to now be used in the rain without risk of the powder caking.


Stripper clip: Makes loading the new mouser's rifle a breeze. By taking a specially machined slide, the rounds can be fed into the internal box magazine with a single motion. It takes a full round action to replace the 5 rounds into the clip.


Siege Firearms
Name Cost Damage Crit Range Crew Type Reload Magazine Powder Useage
Lt Bombard 2000 4d10 X3 250ft 4 Dir/Indi 5 full 1 2 lbs D,H
Hv Bombard 8000 8d10 X3 350ft 8 Dir/Indi 9 full 1 4 lbs D,H
Mortar 3000 6d10 X3 400ft 6 Indirect 6 full 1 5 lbs D,H,HE
Hv Mortar 10000 10d10 X3 500ft 10 Indirect 11 full 1 10 lbs D,H,HE
Cannon 12000 12d10 X3 600ft 8 Dir/indi 3 full 1 2 lbs HE
-rifled breechloader
Cannon 8000 5d4+2 X3 170ft 5 Direct full 20 N/A HE
-gatling

Direct fire for cannons can only be used within 2 range increments. When using indirect fire the gunner or commander makes a special attack roll plus her INT modifier against AC5 plus rellavent range modifiers. If the attack misses, for every 5 the attack was missed by, the projectile drifts d10 feet in d10 direction (see drift in phb combat section).

Bombard: First cannons invented. Basically a barrel with metal supporting bands around the barrel to resist the strain of firing.


Mortar: Indirect fire weapon. Fires a giant solid shot or explosive shells.


Cannon, rifled breechloader: By putting rifling on the barrel, firing a conical projectile and having a breech loading mechanism, the cannon has been taken to a new level of lethality.


Gatling cannon: Not a true cannon per say, but it is the first machine gun to appear on the scene. By employing a crank-driven, self feeding 6-barreled configuration, the gun can fire faster than any weapon of its time. You can both fire one shot at a time, target with the number of shots allowed by a full attack, or target an area of 25ft by 5 ft in a straight line. Anyone in this area must succeed a DC 15 Reflex save or take damage. This uses 10 rounds of ammunition.


Ammunition
Name Cost Damage Crit Range Blast Radius Type Useage
solid 1/200 of cannon same same same N/A B same
explosive 1/40 of cannon 8d6-10X* X2 same 5ft P same
Grape shot 1/100 of cannon same/2 X3 60 ft N/A P Same

*X=damage reduced for every increment away from blast

Solid shot: standard solid ball of lead. When using direct fire, the ball continues to roll after the initial target, continuing to on to roll for d12-1 squares for each range increment before coming to rest. A reflex save for half damage is DC 15 - 1 for every square the ball rolls.

Explosive shot: a ball designed to explode when it reaches its target. Adjusting the fuse takes a profession siege weapons vs DC 15+1 per range increment. Failure by 6 or more means the weapon is a dud, failure by 5 or less means the weapon explode either late or early (d10, 1-5=exploded late by rounds equal to the d10 roll; 6-9=exploded early, no damage; 10=lucky mistake, the weapon explodes on time)

Grape shot: The ultimate point defense weapon. Single-handedly ended the final charge of the north at Gettisburk. Fires a shaped charge in a 60ft cone from the cannon like a giant shotgun. The the reflex save for half damage is DC15.

Explosives Weapons (no prof required)
Name Cost Damage Crit Range Blast Radius Type Useage
Powder Keg 500 8d4 X2 N/A 10 ft Fire D,G,H,HF,HE
Bomb 125 3d4+4 X2 10ft 5 ft Fire D,G,H,HF,HE
-fire
Bomb
-shrapnel 125 6d4-2X* X2 10ft 5 ft Piercing D,G,H,HF,HE
Dynamite 200 2d6•Y* X2 10ft 5•1/2Y*ft Fire G,HE

*X=damage reduced for every increment away from blast
*Y=number of Dynamite put together
Useage
HE=half-elves
D=dwarves
G=Gnomes
H=humans
E=Elves
O=Orcs
HF=Halflings

Money of Legacy
50coins=1 lb

Money denominations are:
CP SP GP PP MP AP
1/100 1/10 1 10 100 1000

Copper
Silver
Gold
platinum
Mithril
Aluminum

You can carry around Aluminum pieces, but good luck cashing them in at your local money changer. Often such coinage is reserved for the trade of magic items and paying for ransoms.

[MythMage]

I haven't had a chance to read the items in the second half of the post, but I read most of the fluff. So, I'll just critique the fluff. ;)

You don't explain what this evil was, where it came from, or what the heck this "rift" is. You mention it being destroyed, but not where it came from or why it was so important to the evil.

I'd like to see some kind of characterization to explain why the half-elves would repeatedly refuse the pleas for help. Aside from the lack of explanation, they are appealingly distinctive for a fantasy setting (albeit an obvious rip from American history, which I wouldn't call a flaw in a homebrew D&D campaign setting).

You mention that orcs tend toward law in one place and that they have a chaotic nature in another place. I assume LE is what you meant, since the race is so centralized, but I have to ask: which did you mean?

I notice some rather obvious and kind of tacky echoes of Tolkien in the names. Forlo the gnome who works with a heroic party to destroy the enemy's power source seems oddly similar to Frodo the hobbit who works with a heroic party to destroy the enemy's power source. Ditto for Gloin son of Groin the dwarf in the former party and Gimli son of Gloin the dwarf in the latter.

[Zyme]

Thank you for the advice. Basically my idea is that a rift is a rip in the fabric of the universe. I creates a bridge to any number of hells. Basically I was phrasing it in more of a storytelling fashion, as if you were hearing it being told to you by the local bard. The rift is the source of all magical energy and basically by tapping small rifts, magic was first harnessed by the elves by creating small rifts and tapping their power. After all this energy being tapped from small rifts for many years, a much larger rift began to form up in the north (look to the east of the Du-Va Clan and the inlet, that is the location of the great rift). The evil was, in short, a massive invasion force dispatched to overrun the entire world and conquer it. Once the rift was sealed, the enemy remaining scattered.

The main idea of the half-elves is that they saw themselves as a race apart. They possessed the drive of perfection of the elves and the ingenuity of the humans. They had populated the isle of Lúthien in the south. They had built a strong fortress and when reports of the evil came to them, they felt confident in the idea that no evil could sucessifully assault their stronghold.

The orcs story begins with the traditional lawless portrayal you find is many a fantasy setting. Marthul was a tribal leader that through strength and force of personality united the waring factions and turned them against the invading evil. Even after the death of Marthul and the defeat of the invading armies, the strength the orcs found in this union led them to form a union. You were correct in thinking that they tend towards LE and CN. They often range from CG/LN to LE for those within the homeland. Outside they are more of the traditional evil perception.

In relation to the tolkien references. I am, as many here are, a huge fan of tolkien. His writings have inspired much of my perceptions of a fantasy world. I really disagree that such reference are "tacky" in any way. Forlo had nothing to do with tolkien world, Forlo is a character from the dragonlance world (if that was from Tolkien, oh well). If you knew your tolkien Gimili son of Gloin, son of Groin, son of Farin, son of Farin, son of Borin, son of Nain II, son of Oin, son of Gloin, Son of Thorin I, son of Thrain I, Son of Thrain I, Son of Nain I, Son of Durin IV. When picking the name of a dwarf, I often pick on of them and use it. I make no illusions about it.

[Zyme]

*Bump*

All questions or suggestions would be helpful in further fleshing out this world