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  1. - Top - End - #91
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Quote Originally Posted by nobodylovesyou4 View Post
    LEGAL DISCLAIMER: If anyone reading this, by any chance, knows of, is related to, or is M. Jodi Rell, first woman governor of Conneticut, know this: I am a pathetic, Hoosier, teenaged, undersexed high schooler who would never in his life go on a crazy rampage and take the governor of a New England state hostage, at the commands of a powerful wizard. Piratejesus, however, would.
    I'm PirateJesus, and I approve this message.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  2. - Top - End - #92
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Ahz followed behind silently, on lookout for more resistence. "What's on the roof?" He asked. He couldn't recall and getaway plans being made, so Ahz was of course skeptical about going to the roof. "I mean, it's not like we have a helicopter waiting there... Do we?"
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  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Of course, by the time Ahz was done babbling on about his doubts, Beard-O and Corpsecraft were already on the roof. Corpsecraft walks over to the edge and holds his gun up to the governor's head. "Listen up! This is a hostage situation!" Corpsecraft looks over at a nearby building. "And don't try any of that sniper crap, either, it won't do you any good." The sniper lowers his rifle. "I have kidnapped M. Jodi Rell, and I will kill her if my demands are not met. First, I..."
    Suddenly, a ruckus in the street draws everyone's attention away from Corpsecraft. "Hey! I'm up here, *******s! What the hell are they looking at?" Corpsecraft strains his eyes. "Oh, god, no..." he says as he realizes what he is looking at.
    Down in the street stood a man, in a cape and spartan helmet. "This has gone on long enough, Corpsecraft," Sparta-man shouts. "I think it's time you let the governor go."
    "Gahdammit, Sparta-man, how did you get here so fast?"
    "I'm a superhero, I have my ways." He recounts long hours of sitting on the bus to Connecticut.
    At hearing that this was a superhero, the cops move aside, making way for Sparta-man to enter. He dashes into the mansion, only to find...

  4. - Top - End - #94
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    ...A swarm of flaming, tentacles made of hair to greet him. Grabbing him and repeatedly slamming him on the porch of the mansion.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Sparta-man does the best he can to hack at the beard, but seeing as he is using a spear it doesn't work so well. He is beginning to feel the flames and the bashing take it's toll. Beard-O slams him against the wall and approaches him, face-to-face. "So, Sparta-man, any last words before I kill you?"
    "Yeah, I do," Sparta-man ekes out. "I brought a friend."
    A blinding flash of steel signals Ninjato's entrance, as he leaps out of the shadows and begins to hack at the beard. "A villain is only as good as his weapon," he shouts. The surprised Beard-O has only seconds to react before his beard is cut down to a mere 6 inches. "And you've just been disarmed." Ninjato helps Sparta-man to his feet, and they both strike a fighting stance, waiting for his next move.

  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    I never really had any beef with you guys but I swear to god if you ruin this for me I SHALL VIOLATE EVERY ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES WITH 1000 ITCHY TENTACLES OF FIRE!!! Beardo screams as the hair on his entire body grows to huge lengths or spikes and tentacles as he leaps at the two of them like a flaming hedgehog-squid thing.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    A huge ! appears over both their heads as they dive out of the way, sending Beard-O crashing through the wall of the mansion and into the house. He stands back up, a huge spiked ball of hair and fire, with tentacles swinging every which way, knocking things down and destroying furniture.

    Meanwhile, up on the roof, Corpsecraft notices the loud crashing. "What in the blue blazes is going on down there? I send Beard-O down there to deal with Sparta-man, what is he doing?" Corpsecraft runs back down into the house, with the governor in tow, passing her off to Ahz as he passes him. "Here, Ahz, she's your problem now." Corpsecraft runs into the destroyed room to find not one, but TWO super heroes battling his ally. "You?" Ninjato shouts. "I killed you at the mall!"
    "Or so you thought, Justin. I never liked you anyways, you annoying prick!" Corpsecraft begins shooting at Ninjato. Unfortunately for him, Ninjato simply holds up his sword and begins ricocheting the bullets off, sending them whizzing through the air. "Damn, you would, wouldn't you?" Corpsecraft mutters.
    "Now it's my turn," Ninjato states with a grin, dashing in, leaping, and bringing his sword down on Corpsecraft's face. The sword cuts right through his body, cleaving him clean in two. Corpsecraft lets out a simple, "Oh," before his two halves plop onto the floor. "You have no idea how great that felt," Ninjato says before spitting a big one into Corpsecraft's innards. "And now for y-" Ninjato's words are cut short as a flaming tentacle slams into his gut, sending him hurdling through two walls and landing in a pile of rubbling in the room beyond.

  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Hehe, you die here Douchefag. You see, I found a couple of the Governer's aides hiding in a corner and created these. Two human-shaped piles of hair come through the hole in the wall, their muffled screams can be heard under the hair. They each carry a cutlass and wear an eyepatch. A ninja's only weakness, hah! And don't think I'm going to be like those other asswipe villians and assume my minions can kill you, I'm going to stand here and watch while Spartaman tangles with Corpsecraft and the big spider thing.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  9. - Top - End - #99
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    "Noooo!" Ninjato cries out. "My one weakness! Pirates!" Ninjato succumbs to the pirates pillaging, as they take all his clothes. Unfortunately for him and everyone involved, the other half of "raping and pillaging" applies here as well, and they attempt to have their way with him. Beard-O stands by, laughing his ass off, when he looks down and notices something very strange. Something odd was going on with his belly, but what could it be? It's just as hairy as usual, so that's not it. Is it smaller? No, it's as big as it has always been. Has his belly button disappeared? No, in fact, quite the opposite; a new hole has appeared, only this one has a spear sticking through it. He reaches down and feels it, only to find his fingers touch something warm, wet, and bloody. The spear retracts back into his body, and he feels something cold slip out his back. He turns around to see Sparta-man standing behind him, holding a bloody spear. "That one was for kicking my ass earlier," he says to him. "And now, I think it's time I finish you off." Sparta-man ***** back his spear, but to his dismay, it is yanked right out of his hand. "What the-?" He quickly turns around, only to immedietly wish he hadn't. Standing, and that term is used loosely, behind him was a mass of writhing, bloody tentacles. However, upon closer inspection, it is in fact a large mound of intestines, now holding his spear. A voice comes from below the mass. NICE TRY, LOGAN.Corpsecraft says. AND NOW IT'S MY TURN!
    Last edited by nobodylovesyou4; 2008-07-07 at 12:59 AM.

  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    In his surprise, Sparta-man is grabbed by Beardo's tentacles and lifted into the air. His body is 5 feet in the air ths arms outstretched to the sides and his legs together, like jesus on the cross. Seeing this opportunity, Corpsecraft begins cackling madly as he stabs spartaman over and over with his own spear.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  11. - Top - End - #101
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    I HOPE YOU'VE MADE YOUR AMENDS WITH ALL THAT YOU KNOW, SPARTA-MAN, FOR THIS ENDS HE- Corpsecraft's little monologue is cut short by a low growl coming from the large hole in the wall. He looks over, or at least as much of a look as a vaguely humanoid mass of entrails can be, and sees a pack of wild dogs standing by, apparently attracted by the smell of blood and fresh meat. WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. THIS IS TO BE MY MOST DEMEANING DEFEAT EVER., he blurts out before the dogs begin to feast on his innards.

    Meanwhile, Logan finds himself back in his bed. He sits up and looks around, realizing the agonizing experience he just went through was all but a dream. He sees Sharese sitting by his bed, and she perks up when she sees him awake. "Oh, Logan!" she cries out. "I'm so glad you've woken up!" She throws her arms around him in a big hug, although Logan is a bit confused as to what is going on. "Sharese, what are you doing here?" he asks her.
    "Well," she says, "I needed to talk to you about your superpowers."
    "My superpowers?" he asks.
    "Yes, Logan. Can you tell me what this is?" She holds up the mask he wears.
    "That's a Spider-man mask," he answers, confused.
    "And the reason you wear it?"
    "Because I have spider po-" Suddenly a wave of realization comes over him, and he realizes what he was doing wrong this whole time.
    "That's right, Logan," she says. She leans in close and plants a kiss on his cheek. "Now use them."

    Sparta-man comes to in Beard-O's tentacles, he sees Corpsecraft's shattered body on the ground before him being devoured. He feels the pain from his abdomen rush through his body, but despite the fact, he mutters something to Beard-O. "Beard-O," he says, "Do you know why I wear the mask?"
    "It fits your name?" he replies.
    "Nope. It's because... of this!" With a sharp "thwip", the webs shoot from his wrist and cling to the walls on either side of him and Beard-O. He pulls them inwards, burying both of them under a mound of rubble.

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Poor, poor Justin is still behind them this entire time getting raped, as the walls fall down. The walls must have either killed Beard-O or simply knocked him out, because the zombies let up their relentless pelvic assault and fall over motionless. He looks around to see if anyone can see him, thankfully no one can, and quickly gets up again. He picks up his sword. Why was he here again...? And wasn't there usually a third guy? Oh, right, the goth kid. Justin runs off into the mansion to find and beat up Ahz.
    Last edited by nobodylovesyou4; 2008-07-07 at 02:13 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Meanwhile Azh wonders what exactly he is supposed to do with the governor who stands staring at the strange spider-covered goth kid. She winces at the sounds of the battle further away and attempts to shuffle to the other side of the room, unfortunately there is something in the way. A short man in a black robe and hood stands there and grabs the governor, swiftly as Azh stammers at this new arrival wondering which side he is on, but his hesitation allows for the man to step through a black portal and disappear before the spiders reach him.

    Just then Ninjato dashes into the room, his blade flashes as he slashes at Azh, slices a few spiders who scream in pain. Azh prepares his spiders and sizes up Ninjato realizing that he just isn't fast enough. "Fear not Azhreal, the golden flame is on your side!" A voice echoes throughout the room and immediately Azh's spiders begin to glow red hot, tiny tongues of golden fire leap from their fangs where poison once dripped, and thusly empowered the villian leaps into battle with a flash of hot gold fire matching cold silver steel...

  14. - Top - End - #104
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    well, looks like the only person who can advance the plot at this point is ahz... ill have to contact him tomorrow.

  15. - Top - End - #105
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Ahz raises a hand in a now-familiar gesture to him. "Cone of spiders!" He calls. A swarm of spiders move up Ahz's body and launch themselves in a cone at Ninjato, covering his body with burning spiders. Where they land, they quickly sink their deadly fangs. The ones that did not make contact with ninjato spin a web to help entangle him to the spot. With a quick thought, Ahz then calls back Petey, his spider-golem, back to him. Petey's return is marked by shattering glass, as it'd gone up a wall and through the nearby window.
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  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    (I can see that what i had tried to post didnt get posted, oh well, probably for the best).
    As the spiders pump their venom into Justin's body, he cries out in pain. He attempts to hack away at the webbing, but its no use. He is held down as the spiders bite him over and over again, each bite more painful then the last. Eventually, the pain becomes unbearable, and he falls unconscious.

  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Default Ding!

    Ahz smiles. "I won!" He cheers and does a happy little hop followed by and arm pump. "I just KNEW this would come in handy some day!" He says as he removes a small music box from his pocket. He opens it and the final fantasy victory jingle blares in the small room. Ahz recalls the spiders, including the ones composing the spider-demon. They all retreat back into his hair... which bursts into flames which do not harm him. "Guys!... Where'd you go?" He runs downstairs and sees what's happened. Ahz sighs. He sends a creeping wave of spidery doom at the dogs eating corpsecraft, scaring them off. "Corpsecraft!? Is that you?"
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  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    A voice echoes throughout the room. "Ahz? Is that you? Did we win?"
    "Yeah! Isn't it great?" He gives out a little gay squeal.
    "Hold on." A sickening, slithering noise is heard as Corpsecraft's organs swarm into a big pile and arrange themselves in the proper shape. Corpsecraft's bones soon swarm around the organs and fuse back together. His muscles follow, covering his bones in tender flesh, and finally his skin slips back onto his body. He is reborn and whole again, albeit naked. Fortunately, a well place vahse covers his junk. "Ahz, hand me my pants and mask." Ahz gladly hands his pants to him while trying to sneak a peek at his piece; he is unsuccessful. "Thanks," Corpsecraft says as he puts his outfit back on. "Now," he says. "What were you saying?"
    "We..."
    "Yeah?"
    "The villains..."
    "Yeah?"
    "WE WIN!"
    "What?"
    "We did it! Sparta-man knocked himself out and I defeated Justin!"
    "Holy crap! That's stupendous!" Corpsecraft feels a sense of joy for the first time in his unlife. His eyes seem to smile. "Now, where'd you take the governor?"
    "Oh. Right. About that..."

  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    As the two questioned the whereabouts of the governer, Beardo crawls out of the rubble holding the hole in his gut. *******, does he realize how much eating its gonna take to get my belleh back to the way it was? Well Tartaraus, since you're here, I'm assuming you finished up whatever you were doing.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Corpsecraft looks around, confused. "Beard-O, Tataraus isn't here. I don't know what you're talking about." Corpsecraft reaches down and gets his gun. "What were you saying, Ahz?"
    "Oh, yeah. A little man came and took the governor away."
    "What? Are you serious?"
    "Yeah, I think-"
    "Is that the best lie you can come up with to cover up your inadequacies?"
    "What? No, really, a little man in a black cloak appeared and took her away. I think Lord Tataraus has her now."
    "Well, no time to worry about that now. First, we need to deal with these heroes. We sh-" Corpsecraft's voice is cut short by a loud whizzing noise, before the others notice that Corpsecraft has been shot through the throat, making it impossible to talk. They look to see who fired at him to see the police standing in the hole in the wall leading to the outside. "This is the police! Drop your weapons and surrender now, or we will be forced to shoot!" The lead officer shouts.
    "Uh, chief, you already shot that guy," another officer chimes in. They begin bickering.

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Taking advantage of the momentary lack of attention being paid to them by the police, Ahz sent a wave of spiders at them. The spiders creeped along the floor, steadily approaching them. When all the spiders were in place, they attacked all of the officers at once, giving Beard-O, Corpsecraft, and Ahz a chance to escape.
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  22. - Top - End - #112
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    "Hey guys, remember when I said i couldn't talk? I lied," Corpsecraft says as he and the others run out the back door of the mansion, onto the expansive lawn. "Okay, LT, this is your cue to come rescue us now!" He cries out expectantly.

  23. - Top - End - #113
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Cropsecraft, Beard-O and Azh wait expectantly for something to happen...nothing....wait, was that? Nope.

    *crashes and shouting in the distance*

    Just the villains are about to give up..."Ah! So, you've managed to capture the governor have?" Lord Tataraus steps out of thin air and waves his hand carelessly towards the approaching police, instantly a wall of gold fire cuts them off. "Where is she?" Tataraus looks at the three standing before him, his smile quickly fading. "We thought you got her, some guy in a black cloak took her away," Azh pipes up. "FOOLS!!! You let her get away??? If you can't take care of one person how are you going to hold the state congress hostage then??" Enraged, Tataraus bursts into flames and disappears as smoke surrounds the villians. As the smoke clears from around the coughing villains they find themselves outside the State Capital Building in Hartford.

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    In the middle of Tataraus' speech, Beardo blurts out. Bull****, you told us to keep Spartaman busy, well there he is under that pile of rocks. And the other idiot is at least traumatized from being raped by furry zombies.
    The Swallowfield Children - Stredexon Intwisca

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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateJesus View Post
    In the middle of Tataraus' speech, Beardo blurts out. Bull****, you told us to keep Spartaman busy, well there he is under that pile of rocks. And the other idiot is at least traumatized from being raped by furry zombies.
    "True, but I didn't send you on some pointless quest, we were supposed to succeed for my future plans." Tataraus shoots back before leaving.

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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    "Well," Corpsecraft says. "Let's get started, shall we?" Corpsecraft and the rest of them advance towards Congress, attacking the guards as they go, and eventually making their way inside, only to find...

  27. - Top - End - #117
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    ...a woman standing in the way with ten guards groveling at her feet. She seems beautiful beyond all belief, a perfect specimen of a woman. She seems to float instead of walk as she nears the stunned villains and stops in front of Corpsecraft and smiles. "Hello again Tommy, surprised to see me?" Holly dispels her aura revealing her true self. "You killed me...now it's my turn!" Holly smiles evilily and with a snap of her fingers the groveling guards turn on Corpsecraft like wild dogs. Guns blaring and batons whistling in the air. Corpsecraft fires in their midst as best he can but they do not react to the pain. "You can't stop the Sucubi's minions!" Holly screams and laughs as stray bullets cut through her body, but no harm seems to be done. "Lord Tataraus is more powerful than you can imagine Tommy, look at what he has granted me? I am immune to physical harm without a true body, but my pheromones can still effect your friends!!!" Succubus laughs and snaps her fingers and Beard-O falls under her spell, lashing out at Corpsecraft with his beard in a lust-driven rage. Succubus frowns at Ahz trying another blast of pheromones but it is no use, his gayness seems to shield him. Shrugging Succubus steps through a wall and out of sight.

  28. - Top - End - #118
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Ahz's eye twitches as the succubus leaves. "Ewww... Vile, evil creatures.." Ahz grumbles. "Don't worry, i'll save you guys!" Ahz calls as he jumps in front of everyone and begins to Caramelldansen (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Da8xwtmHg2s), activating his Aura of Gay. The slight arousel caused by this snaps the guys back into their normal selves.
    Last edited by ahzreal; 2008-07-22 at 02:50 PM.
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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    Corpsecraft gets up and dusts himself off. "That slut!" he cries. "I don't know whether to kill her or make love to her!... how about both?" Corpsecraft charges towards the wall she passed through, only to run right into it with a loud THUD. He rubs his face and says, "How did she do that? It's not as easy as she makes it look."

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    Default Re: Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

    "Yaa.. um.. Corpsecraft?" Ahz shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure she was incorporeal. Soo.. umm... what now?"
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