"4e is all cliches, anime and MMO!"

[Tengu]

Dingo opens the door, the half-eaten onion in his hand, and looks surprised.
"What'cha sayin', son? That ain't possible. You see, I have an empathic link with my treasured cheese - I'd knew if someone ate it! So it simply ain't possible. Now, mind gettin' back to cleanin'? From the smells around, I can tell y'all are far from done."

And he shuts the door. Hmm, maybe that's just a coincidence, but he didn't deny the lycanthrope part.

[Oslecamo]

Puting a new cartridge in his bolt gun, Lemon comments with a grin

Ah, so I didn't misheard King Julius. Our mission is to kill Ole Dingo, and not simply to meet him. So, what should be the best attack plan in this situation? Crash in and shoot? Wait and ambush? Set it on fire?

Ooc:It's just me, or the forums are working even worst than usual?

[Azerian Kelimon]

No, Lemon. That could be disastrous. Let me handle this. Knocking again, Johnny waits 'till Dingo opens up the door, and speaks up. Sir, if neither of the things are true, we need to know. Where did you store your cheesewheel? Maybe we can find something leading us to the thief there.

[Oslecamo]

That's correct, sir Dingo, we need more clues if we are to find the holy cheese thief.

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And time for some diplomacy
(1d20+5)[14]

[Azerian Kelimon]

((Good idea there.

Rolling too... (1d20+6)[9]))

[Tengu]

"I kept my cheese at the table, by the window - not that anyone was going to steal it, right? Its precious value's hidden fer everyone but me."

[ExHunterEmerald]

Patchouli seems content to let the others talk to the old bastard. Pulling her nightgown to cover her nose from the smell, she liberally prestidigitates in the background while listening in.

[Azerian Kelimon]

"And god said, let there be light. And there was light". Suddenly, Johnny realizes what happened. Of course, that doesn't make him less horrified. Turning to the team, he begins speaking slowly, but speeds up to the point of incoherence by the end of his discourse.

People...I have good, and bad news. Good news: I know where the cheesewheel might be.

Bad news...we're going to have to take a journey to the center of the outhouse. Or rather, we'll have to go below it.

Now, please, follow me, or at least abstain from killing me. And with that he heads for the outhouse, with the grim face of one who sees a great odyssey in his future.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Patch gives a very, very distinctive cry of anguish at this news.

"Mukyuuuuuuuuuuu..."

[Terraoblivion]

That old man was insulting them. Making Akane-senpai clean the outhouse was just an insult? They should just let old man be old man and get out of there to do proper jobs worthy of a hero like Akane-senpai. "I agree with Akane-senpai. We shouldn't be doing chores for this annoying old man. We are heroes to protect the land, not cleaning ladies. Don't they have desperate people from third world countries to do that, here? What mudhole is this anyway?"

She looked around annoyed. This was not what she had wanted. She was not doing anything heroic that could impress Akane-senpai. She was just being bullied around by some gay prettyboy of a king to do chores for whoever he wanted to stay on good terms with. How would she ever get Akane-senpai like that?

Though the fools she was working with didn't help either, seeming to insist on making this harder. "Ex-excuse me, Johnny and Lemon. But why don't we just follow the tracks? I don't think that Dingo has anything more he wants to say..." As usual her voice trailed off as she started blushing slightly from speaking up like this, only to be replaced by a look of terror at hearing Johnny's news, though she hesitantly followed him. It wouldn't do to look like a coward in front of Akane-senpai...She just hoped that Patchouli could continue with the cleaning ability she had

[NEO|Phyte]

Ultair glowers at Johnny.
"I don't even have a sense of smell and I'm offended at the thought of doing that. Your idea is bad and you should FEEL bad."

[Oslecamo]

Ah, I see, brother Johnny, the fact that the tracks end midway and they're covered with ***** mean it's some kind of borrowing mutant. Then, please, let me go in front. I shall sacrifice myself for the team in this situation.

Lemon then bravely advances to the remains of the houthouse. Mind you, he's wearing a tightshut space suit wich can whitstand the rigors of outer space, and he has swimmed in seas of Tyrannid guts. The outhouse can't be much worst...Can it?

[Tengu]

Between the smoldering, charred remains of the outhouse a hole in the ground can be seen. Its bottom disappears in the darkness, and it is large enough to squeeze in and climb down without getting stuck or rubbing yourself against the... walls too much.

Remember to make an Athletics check if you climb down.

[Azerian Kelimon]

Don't worry, people. I've found the way to overcome the repugnance. Just develop a Post Traumatic Stress syndrome and imagine you were doing something you like instead of what we're about to do.

In an act of gentlemanliness, Johnny decides to give the others a choice.

You do not have to follow us. Me and Lemon are more than enough to reclaim the wheel from whatever rats stole it. You people can search for another route and join us later, or you can set up a defensible base, in case things get ugly.

Sigh. What one must do for the world, he thinks, setting up the MP4 inside his backpack, but not before preparing a tune to give himself the courage to overcome the urge to turn back and run away screaming like a little girl.

[ExHunterEmerald]

"Wait, wait."

Patchu puts a hand on Lemon's armor as he passes to stop him. If it does, it's because he decides to, not anything the frail wizard could do.

"If we're going down there, I'm going to shoot it again. It'll blast it clean...er...And it shouldn't trigger any cave-ins or chain reactions unless the entire tunnel is full of...well, if it is, then I very frankly do not care. And when we're done with this miserable job, I might be feeling gracious enough to repair that... individual's outhouse. If I don't fry him first."

With that, Patchouli motions everyone a good ways away, heads to the far range of her attacks, and drops a column of flame (Scorching Burst, at that.) neatly into the hole.

[Azerian Kelimon]

Approaching the scorched hole, Johnny's mind nearly blanks out. Though he will remember the incident, for now, the only thing that goes through his mind is this:

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN NKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN NNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Athletics check: (1d20+8)[12]

[Oslecamo]

DDDDEEEEEPPPPPP SSSSSTTTTTRRRRRIIIIIIIKKKKIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Athletic check:
(1d20+4)[8]

[Tengu]

Quite appropriately for their warcries, both Johnny and Lemon lose their grip on the walls and fall down. Luckily for them, their landing is soft.

It seems they are currently in some sort of an underground cavern... Ole Dingo probably likes digging a lot. Thanks to Patchouli's spell you it's possible to move around without a sudden avalanche falling from one of the nearby walls, and apart from the floor everything is mostly rock and earth. In one of the walls, a tunnel can be seen, big enough for two humans to enter comfortably at once.

[Oslecamo]

Let us go investigate that tunnel borther Johnny!

Bolter in one hand and chainsword in the other, Lemon Russ is ready to advance into the tunnel side by side when Johnny is ready to do so.

[Azerian Kelimon]

Onward to glory, then, my friend, the warlord says, boldly walking forward into the tunnel.

[Tengu]

(1d20)[8]
(1d20+3)[19]

As the two intrepid heroes go further down the natural tunnel, they can't help but notice that there are signs of the footsteps here too. Moreover, as the corridor starts to turn right, Lemon hears rather loud buzzing coming further from behind the corner - although a careful peek reveals nothing. Whatever makes that sound must be further down.

[Azerian Kelimon]

I'll take the front, Russ. If things start to go badly, run back to the team and get them to come down for an all out asault, Johnny says, assuming a combat stance and taking a few extra steps forward.

[ExHunterEmerald]

"Right...before I go down there, does anyone have a rope? We should ensure we have a means of getting back up."

That done, Patchu makes her way down carefully, occasionally employing whatever magic is necessary to make the nightmare fuel go away. (Taking ten for a 12 athletics check.)

"Well?" she calls up, "Are you coming or not?"

[NEO|Phyte]

"I think I will stay up here, it is possible the thief may return to its ****hole, and I'd prefer to not end up trapped down there if it decides to collapse the entrance."
Ultair begins scanning the immediate area for a possible hiding spot that is reasonably near the hole, with a clear view of it.
"Of course, if it sees a bunch of people standing around, its not likely to show itself. If you're planning on staying up here with me, you'd best know how to hide yourself. Having some way of keeping your innards from sloshing around so loudly would also help."

[AmberVael]

Akane bit her lip as she looked down into the hole, putting a hand over her nose in disgust and dismay. This was very undignified, and she really wanted no part in it.
"Maybe we could just buy him a new one?" She offered, thinking it better to part with a bit of coin than to go down into that stinking pit.

[Terraoblivion]

And again Akane-senpai showed why she was the hero, not that Johnny guy who thought he could boss them all around. A real hero would think of an easy solution instead of doing hazardous and disgusting things like that. And what kind of villain would force someone like Akane-senpai down there, or herself for that matter the place reeked.

"You are right Akane-senpai. We will buy him a new cheese...anybody know what kind it is?" She looked at Ultair and Akane trying to see if they had any ideas of the answer. Hiding to catch the cheese thief seemed like a bad idea somehow, and it was definitely not because it was presented by an insane robot. I mean insane robots do occasionally get good ideas...I think. Actually as the narrator of this post i am not entirely certain that they do, i cannot think of any examples.

[Tengu]

(1d20-2)[-1]
(1d20-1)[19]
(1d20+3)[5]

The corridor gets wider further down, probably because combat with many participants is boring when taking part in narrow spaces - and combat indeed will happen soon, because... you identify the source of the buzzing! Several large, almost human-sized brown bees are busy scraping something from the walls. Or at least were busy, because they suddenly notice you and fly into your direction, buzzing angrily!

Pity the group has split, huh?

[Azerian Kelimon]

With one look at the bees, Johnny knows they mean trouble. However, still in his blanked out state, that only makes his blood boil.

Well, showtime. Cover me up while I rip those a new one, will you? he says to the space marine, as he calmly walks towards the closest bee, and unleashes a barrage of attacks...As a brutally fast tune blares from his music player and he lets out a deafening warcry.

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As Ben Grimm, AKA Momma's blue eyed boy would say, It's clobberin' time.

Init: (1d20+2)[5]

Then, I walk to the nearest bee and let loose with a good old Viper's Strike if at all possible: (1d20+7)[27]

Damage: (2d6+4)[15]

This bees are going to be easy as pie.

[Tengu]

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(4d20)[17][11][5][13](46)

(1d20+7)[11]
(1d8+3)[5]

The bees fly in. Johnny slashes at the closest one, dealing 16 damage to it. The insect buzzes angrily and tries to bite him in response, but he manages to avoid its attack shiftily.

Those of you who are outside can hear the buzzing down here. Well, apart from Yuri.

Getting down the rope takes one turn (which Patchouli already did), and arriving at the battlefield's edge takes another action. Map:

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What a boring and non-imaginative DM post.

[Oslecamo]

COME DOWN HERE BROTHER AND SISTERS, THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE! CLEAN! PURGE! KILL!

With this battlecry to warn his allies up there, Lemon assaults the flying aliens. Unfortenately, once again his armor slows him down, meaning he can only shoot his bolter.

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Ok, first of all, what are the yellow thingies?

Well, anyway, I'll shoot a bolt to G4 and shoot at the bee at I4, IN CASE THE YELLOW THINGIES AREN'T ENEMIES.

If I hit, Johnny gets a +2 power bonus to hit it next round.

Wis vs reflex
(1d20+3)[19]

Hmm, there aren't penalties to fire into melee in 4e right? If yes, I will shoot at another bee.