Your favourite variation on "Rocks fall, everyone dies"

[chiasaur11]

Considering how many things kill your SAN score just by looking at them, maybe tinfoil glasses would be better

A guy in a tinfoil suit would be the CoC equivolent of a batman wizard.

Nothing could stop you!

[snowbard55]

This one was a little earlier today actually.

So we managed to defeat a band of evil, crazy druids and find their tree-house..thing...In it their was an important looking staff covered in blood red runes. The party monk grabs it without thinking and the DM says "Um..yeah...hold on" He does some rolls. "Yeah...you just took 565 damage." The monk was outraged. The DM responds "Well, you just grabbed a cursed staff." The monk demanded to know why it was never hinted at. "Well, I had hoped you would be smart enough not to touch the staff with blood red runes on it in the evil druid's house! Just start making a new character."

Not as funny as other stuff, but still...

[Dr Bwaa]

This one was a little earlier today actually.

So we managed to defeat a band of evil, crazy druids and find their tree-house..thing...In it their was an important looking staff covered in blood red runes. The party monk grabs it without thinking and the DM says "Um..yeah...hold on" He does some rolls. "Yeah...you just took 565 damage." The monk was outraged. The DM responds "Well, you just grabbed a cursed staff." The monk demanded to know why it was never hinted at. "Well, I had hoped you would be smart enough not to touch the staff with blood red runes on it in the evil druid's house! Just start making a new character."

Not as funny as other stuff, but still...

Not that I'm against the ruling or the strategy of giving the party something they shouldn't just grab (I do this all the time), but that is an absurd amount of damage. He could have just said "you die," but instead he rolled? What did he roll? Assuming average damage (as it's a large number of dice, so it's reasonable to say the average will be close the the actual result), 565 damage corresponds to about 162d6, or 87d12, or 54d20! Just what was he rolling back there???

[snowbard55]

Yeah, our DM is funny like that. I get the feeling that he didn't actually roll all that, but fully intended to. Its probably not the exact amount of damage. What I'm trying to get at is that it was his version of "You die."

Also, that does happen alot, the something we shoudn't just grab being put in our path thing. Just last session their was a small amulet that turned out to attach itself to the party wizard and give him Int drains. We're trying to get it off. We're considering just cutting it off and then quickly healing him.

[Kami2awa]

Not DM induced, but player induced, was the death of a Call of Cthulhu party when one of them decided to puncture an oxy-acetylene tank with the torch. The resulting explosion destroyed a haunted house, 2 nearby houses, an evil sorcerer, all his minions, and they entire PC group.

PS: I've no idea if this would happen in real life, but the group were losing the final battle with the sorcerer, almost all of them were dead or mind-controlled, and this seemed like a good way to close the case...

[tyckspoon]

Not DM induced, but player induced, was the death of a Call of Cthulhu party when one of them decided to puncture an oxy-acetylene tank with the torch. The resulting explosion destroyed a haunted house, 2 nearby houses, an evil sorcerer, all his minions, and they entire PC group.

PS: I've no idea if this would happen in real life, but the group were losing the final battle with the sorcerer, almost all of them were dead or mind-controlled, and this seemed like a good way to close the case...

For Call of Cthulhu this is pretty much the best possible ending: You're dead, but so is the insane cultist/sorcerer/mind-boggling abomination/whatever. It's been mentioned, but for CoC the standard 'rocks fall' runs something like "Cthulu is awakening. Half of you go irrevocably insane as reality itself screams in horror. The other half of you have your eyes explode and die the next round, when you see him."

[snowbard55]

Not DM induced, but player induced, was the death of a Call of Cthulhu party when one of them decided to puncture an oxy-acetylene tank with the torch. The resulting explosion destroyed a haunted house, 2 nearby houses, an evil sorcerer, all his minions, and they entire PC group.

PS: I've no idea if this would happen in real life, but the group were losing the final battle with the sorcerer, almost all of them were dead or mind-controlled, and this seemed like a good way to close the case...

Thats a great idea! Sort of like the time we lit the fuse to a keg of oil when we were losing to a group of really POed Drow whose female leader we may or may not have sexually harrassed

EDIT: That explosion only killed the drow, 2 of us, and started a forest fire. Guess we're just lucky.

[hotel_papa]

I've always wanted to do this:


The party is fighting a giant bird. They manage to shoot it down, only to have it fall on and crush some important NPC. His dying words would be: "Remember... when rocs fall.... you die....."

...Do you hear me when I pray to you?


HP

[Colmarr]

For Call of Cthulhu this is pretty much the best possible ending.

Interestingly, the only game of CoC I've played ended with us crash-landing our light plane on a mesa and seeing demons and horrors closing in from all sides.

We had earlier visited a military installation and discovered a nuclear device, which one of the less sane members of our party had attached to the end of a club.

As the horrors closed in, the player said "I bang the club on the ground".

I guess you could say "Everything falls. You die".

[Duos Greanleef]

I've been DMing for a group since 4E arrived. Last Friday was our last session since I'll be going to school an hour and a half away.
I figured a good "rocks fall" was in order...
After a ridiculously difficult encounter with a Young Black Dragon, Chillborn Zombie, Vampire Spawn, Zombie, Specter, Shadar-Kai Chainfighter, Blazing Skeleon and a Ghost Fighter, (that the PC's defeated sans Cleric) the Dragon started speaking in a mix of Draconic and Infernal. From the tile in the middle of the cave arose a Dracolich which presented the PCs with two options:
1) Serve as his undead concubines for the remainder of eternity
or
2) Be banished to a plane of existence where the only thing that ever happens is an ambient, continual playing of 1980s Power Ballads
...
After agreeing that both options were equally evil, most chose the Power Ballad Plane. I proceeded to play "Heaven" by Bryan Adams.

[Dr Bwaa]

After agreeing that both options were equally evil, most chose the Power Ballad Plane. I proceeded to play "Heaven" by Bryan Adams.

You have my sincerest congratulations. Well done indeed.

[Waspinator]

...Do you hear me when I pray to you?


HP

Sorry. You'll have to shout.

[snowbard55]

Player: I cast Magic Missle on the darkness.
DM: The darkness casts Maximized Meteor Swarm on you. You're dead.

[Lappy9000]

What the characters see:"With a tumultious rumble, the entire world shatters to pieces as your party is strewn across the landscape, tumbling aimlessly into the empty void of the great beyond."

What the players see:
"Oops, sorry guys, my DM screen (honkin' black folder) fell down on the game board again."

[Doomsy]

Interestingly, the only game of CoC I've played ended with us crash-landing our light plane on a mesa and seeing demons and horrors closing in from all sides.

We had earlier visited a military installation and discovered a nuclear device, which one of the less sane members of our party had attached to the end of a club.

As the horrors closed in, the player said "I bang the club on the ground".

I guess you could say "Everything falls. You die".

Giving your PCs access to a nuclear weapon in a game where you can lose your sanity in one round or less seems like a really fun way to play Russian roulette.

I think my favorite TPK in CoC was when a party interrupted a cultist ritual towards the end and surprisingly survived. But then one of them read the last half of the passage the leader was reading.
Did I mention he tended to read outloud without noticing it as a character trait?

Come to think of it. About eighty percent of my 'rocks fall' experiences have been initiated by the players more than the DM. I think they count just because most of the time the DM has cheerfully rolled with it rather than bothered salvaging it by then. Not much you can do when the players get all lemming like besides make it spectacular.

[Aquillion]

Giving your PCs access to a nuclear weapon in a game where you can lose your sanity in one round or less seems like a really fun way to play Russian roulette.

I think my favorite TPK in CoC was when a party interrupted a cultist ritual towards the end and surprisingly survived. But then one of them read the last half of the passage the leader was reading.
Did I mention he tended to read outloud without noticing it as a character trait?

Why would he read anything (aloud or otherwise) in CoC, if he didn't specifically have to? Much less a cultist's most horrifying ritual texts?

[BobVosh]

Honestly why would you play a character who can see in CoC? Senses to also avoid include: Hearing (the terrorifying roar shatters your mind), touch (the sensation of a slimy and spongy surface is the first thing you notice after landing. Take 3d6 san as you realize you landed on...), Smell (Elder gods and cultist HATE baths), and of course taste. (The rum cake is too delicious for any mundane to have baked. Take 50 san as you realize Martha Stewart is not of this world.)

I haven't exparienced too many tpks, but I have played a game where the same guy died 5 sessions in a row, and not his fault. Grant and I did something stupid, and he just happened to be nearby and picked on. Superb.

[Prustan]

I haven't exparienced too many tpks, but I have played a game where the same guy died 5 sessions in a row, and not his fault. Grant and I did something stupid, and he just happened to be nearby and picked on. Superb.

Details! You say something like this, you have to tell us what stupid things you did that got the other guy killed 5 sessions in a row.

[Grey Watcher]

...and of course taste. (The rum cake is too delicious for any mundane to have baked. Take 50 san as you realize Martha Stewart is not of this world.)...

As long as she doesn't bring The Shaper with her, I guess we'll be able to survive. (A Sanity-Shatteringly Tasty Rum Cake from the Beyond to anyone who gets that reference.)

[BobVosh]

Details! You say something like this, you have to tell us what stupid things you did that got the other guy killed 5 sessions in a row.

I was at work and had nowhere near the time to write it all without getting thoroughly annoyed (what are these guests doing here in my hotel, when I'm cruising the nets?)

First background on the game:
We were (original party...only one left from it (6 players)) slaves in Thay. Start off with 1 level in an NPC class. No adept. Unsurprising we were all Experts or Warriors. One rule in the party: you must be stealthy, we don't care how, but you must be hidey. (Hidey is a GREAT word, I recommend it to one and all) We escape, end up working for a red wizard, and sent to a city slightly outside of Thay.
First Death

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After arriving we are told of a young noble doing bad stuff (round up bums to sell as slaves, etc.) We find out his father disappeared under "mysterious circumstances". So we decided to check out this young mans rather impressively defended castle/Mansion/Fortress of DOOM. We therefore ride on up and dismount just out of sight. We send up rogue 2 wizard 1 Expert 1, hereafter referred to as "Grant". He jumps the wall, after getting cut by some glass. Lays a bedroll on it for people not to bleed. Throws rope over, etc, we all sneak in.

Thereafter we spend about 3 hours IRL time trying to enter the stupid house. Glass windows that don't open, guarded doors, no secret entrances we can find, etc. Then our ranger walks off and is spotted, and claims this is because how the map was drawn. Well swarms of level 1 guards come and do their stuff. Our level 1 Rogue/Cleric of Brandobaris (halfling god of thievery and trickery) comes help, which makes me feel bad and stick around for a while along with Grant. After we decided it was more hopeless than it originally look we take off for the wall where our rope is still. Grant climbs like a fly, i use the rope semi-proficiently, and am halfway up. The cleric is right there.

Out teleports the first wizard awaken by the guards, and he reads from a scroll "fireball." Grant and I make the reflex and evasion out of it. The poor cleric is charred. Over the fence we go. 2 people are captured, 2 escaped and one is fried. And the last guy was a noshow.

Second death

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So all we learned from that was...He likes to not be invaded in the night. Well we had a lead about an assassin. We therefore check into the 3 guilds that may have more information. We go to a halfling/dwarven weapon traders group. Dead end. Mage guild. Worthless guys have to have some time to scry. Sisterhood of unmaidenly arts (local fences.) 2 dead ends we decided they would be nice and unimportant.

So they ask our face to go right in and talk to the leaders (the front part is just like a desk. So our NEW cleric of brandobaris struts on in. The sister in the front closes the door, after following...and stabs him in the back with sneak attack. At this point we decided we probably shouldn't be so trusting of a thieves guild. He managed one stab, but he was locked in a room with 5 of them.

Third death

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After thoroughly killing all the rest of them, we see evidence of someone having slept in a nonbarrack room. Also some notes to another Red wizard (the guy we were sent to spy on.) Something about a hunting lodge, which our noble has two of. I believe we decided the far one was more likely as it was further. Great logic. After arriving we find out there is a secret way in through the fireplace. Classic.

Led to a drow underground meeting area with all these "gateway" doors. Turns out all the doors that look pitch black in the middle, had giant teeth, and looked thoroughly horrible were just magic dark in a one way darkness spell. So all the drow saw us the second we came down, and we didn't seem em. Wandered around, pissed off the dm by using Deflect arrow on a magma hurler's throw. Killed some drow. Male ones btw, that worship the drow god of males and hating surface dwellers.

We find a nice pool in there. I was going to be sneaky about it, and try to figure out if it was ok to drink etc. Grant decided to make his familiar drink. The ferret turned white. This led to a water fight. Turns out...evasion is good for this sort of thing. However it was a cursed fountain, with various weird by not really bad effects. I gained 2 fingers per hand, and left damp footprints everywhere. The thing that makes this bad is...our brand new cleric of mask (decided human this time) is splashed with water that makes him drool...REALLY fast. Dc 15 concentration check for spells with vocals.

End up fighting another drow with stupid darkness everywhere, as usual. He dies because he couldn't cast healing spells, or anything of use.

Fourth Death

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The young noble's old man was in there, and he got us all happy about rescuing him. Rich noble +Happy=Money. Simple formula. Then we realized Old man + No riches as he was kidnapped = :'( adventurers. So we regroup with his loyal followers. Plan is they distract we sneak in through the secret door to the Fortress of doom. Er...mansion.

We learn of a way through the sewers. Fight 2 water monster things (thank god for 2 dusts of dryness...or whatever that dust is called.) Some drow. We decided to do this just before midnight as our new mask cleric, you guessed it Sean again, could prepare. Well we start looking around, and grant goes up the stairs...leaving our praying cleric alone, which noone thinks about. Drow that got away comes back and stabs the poor man...coup de grace.

Fifth death

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Well we ruled that he had a prodigy along, and he plays the follow just so he wouldn't miss out on the next session, sneaking into the Doom Mansion. We only play once a month, and it didn't seem right. So another cleric of mask. For the first time, FULL cleric. Our dm kept making him take rogue or other multiclassing and he folded as he was weak willed. We end up in the last room with the BBEG. Fighter, Cleric, and wizard are our 3 guys to take down. I kept calling the Fighter a barbarian to annoy the dm because it was a halforc.
ANYWAY, we take down the wizard in a silence spell, gang up on the cleric
and the fighter beats down all but Sean, Grant and I. At this point I had levels in shade and Grant in that weird Mask transformation template that is in FR. So we grab the young nobles body (i sneaked attack with a sap so he wouldn't be dead after we start beating with some lethal) and does a small teleport down to the sewers. I run. The cleric gets mowed down. As a shade I moved at 60 a round. Or 70, I don't remember. On the way down I tell guards that I was summoning reinforcements to the noble's room, come help....32 bluff. Repeat. So Grant and I live, while the 5th noble cleric of mask is killed. 5 sessions in a row.

Really the worse one was the water fight.

[black dragoon]

Wow...Five times that's...awesomely terrible luck right there.

[Vexxation]

*tales of clericy death*

Wow, I have to say, it doesn't really seem like you guys did anything wrong. I mean, sure, you left him alone for a bit in the sewers and you trusted the thieves guild, but yeesh! It's like the DM just wanted him to die.

"Oh, you leave him alone? He gets ambushed and Coup de Graced."
"Oh, you let him talk to thieves? They don't like you so they attack him."

That's just malicious, if the guy died every session five times, cut him some slack. Not one time was completely his fault, and if you only play once a month, that's five consecutive months of character dying. That would be less than fun. For me.

[BobVosh]

Wow, I have to say, it doesn't really seem like you guys did anything wrong. I mean, sure, you left him alone for a bit in the sewers and you trusted the thieves guild, but yeesh! It's like the DM just wanted him to die.

"Oh, you leave him alone? He gets ambushed and Coup de Graced."
"Oh, you let him talk to thieves? They don't like you so they attack him."

That's just malicious, if the guy died every session five times, cut him some slack. Not one time was completely his fault, and if you only play once a month, that's five consecutive months of character dying. That would be less than fun. For me.

We had a water fight...in a cursed fountain. We were ambushed about every 3 rooms by drow. The cleric was alone for about 30 minutes before this happened.

I also said it wasn't his fault, we did something stupid and he paid for it. The DM strongly hinted we shouldn't have gone to the Mansion of doom. The rogues already proved they would assassinate, and we let one of ours go in alone showing his back and letting them get a flank while the rest of the party twiddles their thumbs in the waiting room.

Oh, one last thing. That fighter had 3 hit points left. So close but we had no way to tell so we ran. I did take the craven feat for a reason...

[snowbard55]

Earlier today our campaign almost came to a close with a "rocks fall" moment.

First, some backgroud. The party consisted of a Gnome 4th level Bard/8th level Cleric (Me), a Halfling Rogue, a Human Wizard, a Human Barbarian, and a Half-Elf 9th level Sorcerer/3rd level Ranger. We were on a mission for the local Druid coven thingy to clear out some of the extremist Druids in the area. So we had been in the forest killing the Druids and taking their stuff and it was going pretty well (except for the death of our Monk, now our Barbarian, see earlier post) We get to their base of operations, a small grouping of tents and crudely built huts. So, we're hiding in some bushes a little ways away (about 10 or 20 feet) and it goes something like this.

DM: The Druid leader, a male elf, stands up on a rock before the congregation roughly 10 feet from you and begins to..
Rogue: I Sneak Attack him.
DM: Hmmm?
Rogue: I Sneak Attack with my bow. I'm a rogue.
DM: Yes..but..you were...fine...
(the proper rolls are made)
DM: He's dead.....(very long pause)...But he had a bomb in his chest. You all die.
Us: WTF!?
Turns out he had intended us to have a big showdown with the druid leader who was going to dispense plot points. He retracted the bomb in chest thing and made us fight all 20 or so 9th-10th level Druids when we would have had to only fight the 10th level boss. Although we did barely survive that.

I just found a Druid with a bomb in his chest very funny.

[BRC]

Earlier today our campaign almost came to a close with a "rocks fall" moment.

First, some backgroud. The party consisted of a Gnome 4th level Bard/8th level Cleric (Me), a Halfling Rogue, a Human Wizard, a Human Barbarian, and a Half-Elf 9th level Sorcerer/3rd level Ranger. We were on a mission for the local Druid coven thingy to clear out some of the extremist Druids in the area. So we had been in the forest killing the Druids and taking their stuff and it was going pretty well (except for the death of our Monk, now our Barbarian, see earlier post) We get to their base of operations, a small grouping of tents and crudely built huts. So, we're hiding in some bushes a little ways away (about 10 or 20 feet) and it goes something like this.

DM: The Druid leader, a male elf, stands up on a rock before the congregation roughly 10 feet from you and begins to..
Rogue: I Sneak Attack him.
DM: Hmmm?
Rogue: I Sneak Attack with my bow. I'm a rogue.
DM: Yes..but..you were...fine...
(the proper rolls are made)
DM: He's dead.....(very long pause)...But he had a bomb in his chest. You all die.
Us: WTF!?
Turns out he had intended us to have a big showdown with the druid leader who was going to dispense plot points. He retracted the bomb in chest thing and made us fight all 20 or so 9th-10th level Druids when we would have had to only fight the 10th level boss. Although we did barely survive that.

I just found a Druid with a bomb in his chest very funny.

CHOOO CHOO, I think I hear a railroad.



Yeah, DM's should remain aware that "Kill it quickly" is always a viable option in a players mind.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

He was going to monologue. Monologue=flatfooted surprise round. What did the DM expect?

[snowbard55]

CHOOO CHOO, I think I hear a railroad.



Yeah, DM's should remain aware that "Kill it quickly" is always a viable option in a players mind.

True, he had a lapse in judgement this one time. We all had a good laugh afterwards. He worked the plot points back in when we got back to town.

I remembered another such occurance in a different campaign with a different DM. It was me (a human Fighter), a dwarf cleric, an elf wizard, and an elf bard. We had just engaged the BBEG's top minion when the bridge we were on collapsed due to, shall we say strutural damage, we had brought upon earlier while using a catapult on a huge legion of ogres and zombies. Everyone involved failed all checks attempted to save themselves. Everyone died. We laughed for days.

[Kalir]

I managed to circumvent that by making my BBEG a rogue who's terrified of fights and has a cloak of dimension door. Since he's meant to be a recurring villain, the first time the party ranger tried attacking him partway through his monologue, he got an anarchic dagger in the chest. He lived (but it was close), and the guy got away, but it's a good way of ensuring they don't try to shoot him partway through.

In my high-school days, when I was younger and thought DM cosmic curbstomps were cool, my favorite was death by colossal banana slug.

Edit: Yeah, yeah, I'm a screwup.

[AslanCross]

Really sorry to say this, but:

[KeresM]

We were supposed to barter with a lich for a particular magical item. My character was not in a good mood at this point, and when the lich started stating his terms, said 'screw this' and used a wand to summon a shark to fall on the lich. She then walked up, grabbed the item, and walked away, followed a moment later by the dumbfounded party.

Next time we encountered said lich, the GM cackled and said 'whales fall. KeresM needs to make a reflex save or die'

The lich wasn't intended to be a villain or even someone we were supposed to encounter more than that once. But it was too good for the GM to pass up.


Sorry-missed the date.