Jack Squat's Justlessly Juxtaposed Random Banter #101

[Serpentine]

And fear not the snakes, for they fear fire!

But how am I meant to warm my house without it?!
Still haven't read Pullman and I'm not particularly fussed about it. I should read my Animorphs again, though... And try to find numbers 12 and 21, the only ones I'm missing from 50-odd
Speaking of misnamed books, what's with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? The most common and (presumably <.<) unfair explanation is "Americans are too dumb to know about the Philosopher's Stone", and similarly my dad's is "American's don't know about "philosophy"", but I'm willing to give you lot a chance to justify it.
Pizza: Still figuring out a favourite, but there's a gormet pizza place that does great plain garlic pizzas and... the original one, with herbs (basil?), cheese and tomato, I forget what it's called, and one called Ange's Special which has three different cheeses on it. Mmmm... The plain pepperoni on thin crust from Eagle Boys (or was it Dominos?) was pretty tasty, too.

[Zeb The Troll]

Speaking of misnamed books, what's with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? The most common and (presumably <.<) unfair explanation is "Americans are too dumb to know about the Philosopher's Stone", and similarly my dad's is "American's don't know about "philosophy"", but I'm willing to give you lot a chance to justify it.

Ahem. Ms. Rowling is English, not American. Do not blame us for this. That is all. Thank you.

[Serpentine]

That would be my point. In the rest of the world, the book is Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's only - so far as I know - the US where Philosopher is changed to Sorcerer. So ner

[dish]

Indeed. The story I've heard is that the US publisher felt the word 'Philosopher's' in the title would discourage the target audience.

This wasn't a problem for the rest of the world. Just the US.

[Conrad Poohs]

But how am I meant to warm my house without it?!

I suggest developing a thermoregulatory system. Works for me . It hasn't got below -7centigrade this year anyway, so who needs heating?

Speaking of misnamed books, what's with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? The most common and (presumably <.<) unfair explanation is "Americans are too dumb to know about the Philosopher's Stone", and similarly my dad's is "American's don't know about "philosophy"", but I'm willing to give you lot a chance to justify it.

[Restaurant in which an American couple is seated at one of the tables. Waiter approaches]
Waiter: Good evening... would you care for something to talk about?
[He hands them each a menu card with a list of subjects
on.]
Mr Hendy: Oh that would be wonderful.
Waiter: Our special tonight is minorities...
Mr Hendy: Oh that sounds interesting...
Mrs Hendy: What's this conversation here...?
Waiter: Oh that's football... you can talk about the Steelers-Bears
game, Saturday... or you could reminisce about really great
World Series -
Mrs Hendy: No... no, no.
Mr Hendy: What's this one here?
Waiter: That's philosophy.
Mrs Hendy: Is that a sport?
Waiter: ...Nnnno, it's more of an attempt to construct a viable hypothesis
to explain the Meaning of Life.
Mr Hendy: Oh that sounds wonderful... Would you like to talk about
the Meaning of Life, darling...?
Mrs Hendy: Sure, why not?
Waiter: Philosophy for two?
Mr Hendy: Right...
Waiter: You folks want me to start you off?
Mr Hendy: Oh really we'd appreciate that...
Waiter: OK. Well er... look, have you ever wondered just why you're
here?
Mr Hendy: Well... we went to Miami last year and California the
year before that, and we've...
Waiter: No, no... I mean why *we're* here. On this planet?
Mr Hendy: [guardedly]... N... n... nope.
Waiter: Right! Have you ever *wanted* to know what it's all about?
Mr Hendy: [emphatically] No
Waiter: Right ho! Well, see, throughout history there have been
certain men and women who have tried to find the solution to
the mysteries of existence.
Mrs Hendy: Great.
Waiter: And we call these guys 'philosophers'.
Mrs Hendy: And that's what we're talking about!
Waiter: Right!
Mrs Hendy: That's neat!
Waiter: Well you look like you're getting the idea, so why don't I
give you these conversation cards - they'll tell you a little
about philosophical method, names of famous philosophers...
there y'are. Have a nice conversation!
Mr Hendy: Thank you! Thank you very much.
[He leaves.]
Mrs Hendy: He's cute.
Mr Hendy: Yeah, real understanding.
[They sit and look at the cards, then rather formally and
uncertainly Mrs Hendy opens the conversation.]
Mrs Hendy: Oh! I never knew that *Schopenhauer* was a
*philosopher*...
Mr Hendy: Oh yeah... He's the one that begins with an S.
Mrs Hendy: Oh...
Mr Hendy: ... Um [pause]... like Nietzsche...
Mrs Hendy: Does Nietzsche begin with an S?
Mr Hendy: There's an S in Nietzsche...
Mrs Hendy: Oh wow! Yes there is. Do all philosophers have an S in
them?
Mr Hendy: Yeah I think most of them do.
Mrs Hendy: Oh!... Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher?
Mr Hendy: Yeah... Right, she could be... she sings about the
Meaning of Life.
Mrs Hendy: Yeah, that's right, but I don't think she writes her own
material.
Mr Hendy: No. Maybe Schopenhauer writes her material?
Mrs Hendy: No... Burt Bacharach writes is.
Mr Hendy: There's no 'S' in Burt Bacharach...
Mrs Hendy: ... Or in Hal David...
Mr Hendy: Who's Hal David?
Mrs Hendy: He writes the lyrics, Burt just writes the tunes... only
now he's married to Carole Bayer Sager...
Mr Hendy: Oh... Waiter... this conversation isn't very good.


...yeah, I thought it was about time for me to make another contribution, i.e. post another python excerpt

[Trog]

So, today, I was working, and I could have sworn I saw Trog. My mind, as it was pretty early in the morning, didn't register the improbability of this until I was half-way to the guy >>
I had to pretend I was straightening some cans on a shelf.

Don't you hate it when you call out to someone, thinking they're someone else?

...

especially in bed.



So seriously how did the guy respond to being called Trog?

[RabbitHoleLost]

...

especially in bed.



So seriously how did the guy respond to being called Trog?

Thankfully, I hadn't yet called him Trog. I had said "Hey" though... but he didn't even notice me...
Honestly, though, Trog..you need to reign those clones in.

[Zeb The Troll]

That would be my point. In the rest of the world, the book is Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's only - so far as I know - the US where Philosopher is changed to Sorcerer. So ner

*is once again embarrassed by lack of knowledge of how things are outside of his little world*

Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought JK either didn't want to scare off the target audience by using "philosopher" or she was trying to keep the story more magic based and so just substituted it (like calling other muggle things something other than what we call them). For the record, I knew about the philosopher's stone long before Harry Potter and knew that that's what she was talking about.

*slinks back into his cave*

[Alarra]

*makes note to take out the British versions of the books so Zeb can see all of the difference between those and ours, of which there are many*

[Jibar]

Why does everybody have a blog lately?
What's so great about blogs?
Why don't I have one?
Why do I have no friends...

Anyway: Yay for stealing music from your sister's boyfriend. I now have a whole bunch of albums I wanted, and albums from people I'd never heard of. And an Incubus album. Which is pretty good. Need to get more.

Don't ya hate it when you wake up too early, and then just as you're about to get back to sleep, it's when you're meant to be getting up?

[Dallas-Dakota]

Pineapple on anything is amazing.

The person who first put pineapple on pizza should be shot, but still.

Well, I have an old classmate who overdosed pizza with pineapple.....

[Rawhide]

Well, I have an old classmate who overdosed pizza with pineapple.....

Impossible.

[Tempest Fennac]

Just thinking about the book differences; has the American version of Life on Mars started yet? I know it's got American actors and an American setting (I really liked the original version of LoM).

[Shadow]

Pineapple, canadian bacon, tomatoes and garlic.
Now I'm hungry.

[happyturtle]

Me too, and not a pizza in the house, or any of the ingredients thereof. Well, I could probably come up with sauce, but without crust or cheese, it would be pretty sad.

I have lots of stir fry though. So will have that instead. Even though it's breakfast time here.

[bosssmiley]

Meat? Vegetable matter other than onion and (possibly) peppers? On a pizza?
Blasphemy!

Little bit of a typo there. Amended it for you.

Indeed. The story I've heard is that the US publisher felt the word 'Philosopher's' in the title would discourage the target audience.

This wasn't a problem for the rest of the world. Just the US.

I really wish this didn't surprise me.

Why does everybody have a blog lately?
What's so great about blogs?
Why don't I have one?

Because you're British, and therefore naturally reticent. Unlike Californians and other such idiots you have more gravity and substance than to think your every intellectual bowel movement and petty personal drama is an opus worthy of public record.

See also: MySpace, Twitter, Flickr, FaceBook ...

Why do I have no friends...

See above (you're British, and therefore naturally reticent).

Don't ya hate it when you wake up too early, and then just as you're about to get back to sleep, it's when you're meant to be getting up?

Never had that problem (would be over in Beijing representing Britain in the Sleepathon, except I overslept and missed the flight). Insomnia is - IMXP - the sign of a guilty conscience.

[Serpentine]

Just thinking about the book differences; has the American version of Life on Mars started yet? I know it's got American actors and an American setting (I really liked the original version of LoM).

Why do they do this? WHY?! They always turn out so much worse, too! Anyone seen Coupling? Anyone seen the American Coupling? OH MY GOD it's awful! I never really liked The Office anyway, but I hear it's worse with a Yankee accent too. And while I'm at it, what's with all these American remakes of Japanese horror movies that're mostly pretty mediocre to begin with in which everything is almost exactly the same except with some insipid blonde in the lead role? WHY?! ARGH!

...

Maybe I should take a trip to the rant thread... Nah.

>pats Zeb on the head< 'sokay, you can't help it
Alarra: What sort of differences?

...Jibar's not my friend?

[Tempest Fennac]

I've never heard of Coupling. I can't imagin LoM without John Simm and Philip Glenister as the 2 lead actors to be honest (they work really well thgether).

[Alarra]

Alarra: What sort of differences?

Just a lot of word choice differences. I can't remember any other than the obvious philosopher/sorcerer, but I know there were quite a few others. It's been quite a few years since I've picked up the british versions.

[Jibar]

A lot of the cursing is changed, as are some references to more British activities.
I found a list somewhere showing exactly what was changed. I'll have a look around.

...Jibar's not my friend?

Yes he is. He was just commenting that it's not like his friends talk to him all that much as it is, so nobody would read his blog. If he had one. But he doesn't, for the much the same reasons as what Bosssmiley listed.
Also: He is stuck in third person. This could prove to be a problem.

[Rockphed]

Just a lot of word choice differences. I can't remember any other than the obvious philosopher/sorcerer, but I know there were quite a few others. It's been quite a few years since I've picked up the british versions.

I beleive sweater is substituted for jumper. Otherwise I know less than nothing.

In other news, I just used the sneaky gate.

[Dihan]

What sort of differences?

Here are some differences.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Quick question: are Americans so stupid they can't tell that a letter's being written/read? Do they really need a new font?
And 'booger' is a far more disgusting word than 'bogey'. Also if you read very fast you'll mistake it for 'bugger'.
And I just love difference 91. They way they emphasise that there's ''a Black boy even taller than Ron'' when it really does not matter in the slightest.
Do Americans really not know what a video player is?
Bobble hats are not and never will be 'bonnets'. And surely 'came top of the year' and 'had the best grades of the first years' mean exactly the same thing. 'top of the year' even reads smoother and sounds far better than 'best grades of the first years'.
By Io!
Crumpets are not English muffins.
Rounders is not baseball.
Notes and bills are two entirely different things.
And glove puppets and hand puppets are two different things.

I honestly doubt that even the most stereotypical American would have trouble with any of the 'necessary changes' those editors made. And besides, English book, set in England, about English children in an English school. They would use local slang.
Also sherbert lemons are boiled lemon flavoured sweets with sherbert in the centre.
A lemon drop is simply a sourish lemon flavoured boiled sweet.
Entirely different.

Note to self: do not let American publishers publish my books with any 'changes'. It's as I write it or not at all. Io, change 91 is moronic in so many ways.

Oh yeah, mum's back from hospital. She had to have seven injections, four stitches and a small section of bone removed because one of her teeth would not come out at all. They tried for fifty minutes.
Cranky mummy. I fear for my life.

[TheCountAlucard]

I submit the idea that all of CurlyKitGirl's avatars get together and have a parade.

I counted it out: It takes me sixty-eight button presses just to type my username as you see it on this PSP.

[happyturtle]

Yeah, but Curly, a lot of those words just don't mean the same thing in American english. Bogey doesn't mean booger. We don't call paper money 'notes'. And remember, the first book was written for children. It's a bit much to expect ten year olds to know slang from a different country.

[Player_Zero]

I think the real question is 'does this make even the slightest difference to the story whatsoever'?

In other news, spending every single day here for hours and hours is getting a little sad, even for me.

[CurlyKitGirl]

*refrains from mentioning the popularity of American slang all over the world*
It's still very annoying and ruins the whole tone of the book. And that's any book, I don't like the Potter books.

[happyturtle]

I've lived in both countries, and read the books in both versions, and the change of a few dozen words in a 200 page books is pretty minor. I agree that the title change was stupid, but most of the other changes are sensible. And when American books are published in the UK, they make the same changes in the other direction. They just aren't going to be recorded on a website somewhere because most books aren't as popular as Harry Potter.

It isn't any more insidious than translating a book into French or German. Yeah, the flavour will change somewhat, but the characters and the plot are still there.

[Jibar]

In other news, spending every single day here for hours and hours is getting a little sad, even for me.

Why? I've been doing it for years.
Not like I have problems...

...why don't we have an 'Ironic' smilie?

[Uncle Festy]

Meat? Vegetable matter other than onion and (possibly) peppers? tomatoes? On a pizza?
Blasphemy!

Little bit of a typo there. Amended it for you.

Well, at that, so did you.