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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default The Legend of Someone

    Well her we are I finally got around to it and finshed so here it is my new comic
    THE LEGEND OF SOMEONE
    Newest one #V Clucky Smash!
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    Comics
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    Comic #1
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    Comic #Dos
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    Comic #3
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    Comic #4 GO FISH!
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    #V Clucky Smash!
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    well hit me with it what do you think is it good or dose it suck or should i go and give up right now hit me with it and dont hold back
    Last edited by someonenonotyou; 2008-11-04 at 10:31 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Green-Shirt Q's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Two things: Grammar and proper punctuation. At least try to get them correct. I understand a few errors, heck I've made some pretty bad errors myself before I began using a spellcheck, but at least make an effort. Due to the speech pattern of the people in this comic I barely knew what was going on!

    Quick tips: Every letter that starts a sentence and the letter I when it's alone must be capitalized.

    And don't forget to use these handy marks: .,.?!:";' You get the picture.

    Other then that, pretty good.
    Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2008-08-20 at 08:35 AM.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Wreckingrocc's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    1. Don't use MS paint unless you're Abardam (The King of MS Paint).

    2. In panel four, the blue shirted man with the huge spiky tumor predicts what the chicken will say and answers it before the question is asked. Speech bubbles should go from left to right.

    3. No punctuation makes you look like a 6-year-old. Change it for your sake.

    4. You spelled 'Legend' wrong in the title.
    The artist formerly known as Tired N' Drowzy, master of puns.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dallas-Dakota's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Can´t you all see that that is Benglish? That´s what Someonenotyou is typing, its his own frickin´ language....
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    DD: .... DEM HIPS.
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    Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
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    My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    T-O-E's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Quote Originally Posted by Tired N' Drowzy View Post
    1. Don't use MS paint unless you're Abardam (The King of MS Paint).
    When did he say he used paint? It could be inkscape/adobe work.
    'I shall be pleased and proud to have been the first who completely enjoyed the fruits of his writing, just as he wished, for my only desire has been to have people reject and despise the false and nonsensical histories of the books of chivalry, which are already stumbling over the history of my true Don Quixote, and will undoubtedly fall to the ground.' -Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote (Edith Grossman)

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Good art, Sonny, but you really got to learn punctuation and proper spelling.

    The Legend of Someone
    Sonny: Ugh, I always hate that part.
    Chicken: Well, good morning, sleeping beauty!
    Sonny: I’m going to change. Try and find out what you can.
    Chicken: Where’d you get those clothes?
    Sonny: Borrowed them from that guy.
    Sonny: We probably will never see him again.
    Chicken:Yeah. Try not to steal too much; remember what happened last time.
    Sonny:Yeah, that was great! Let’s do it again!
    Sonny: ... So where are we anyway?
    Chicken:I have no idea.
    Chicken: Well, I can use my magic …
    Sonny: Wait! I know this place!
    (Whispering in bushes) You hear that? Oh crap! Intruders! Get them!
    Sonny: I’M HOME!

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Haruki-kun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    I'm sure there's potential here, you just need to work on it some more. I suggest you get someone to read the strips first and help you edit.

    Also... about panel four... You need to make the first speech bubble on the left and the second one on the right. You can do the whole comic Manga-style (right to left) if you want, but then you'd have to do every single panel as such.

    Good luck.
    Awesomest avatar EVAR by Lord Magtok.

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    He is... the most interesting Angel in the world.
    "I don't always keep spreadsheets over crazy voting patterns on the first day. But when I do, I'm the one running the game."


    ~Credit to Skippy for second line.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    OKOKOKOKOKOK! i get im working on my grammer im fixing it now anyway i am using inkscape not paint (is it that bad) can give me some criticism that don't invole grammer

    @^see like that thanks ill work on it
    Last edited by someonenonotyou; 2008-08-20 at 12:56 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Haruki-kun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Alright, I did a few rough sketches that I hope you might find helpful. These are merely suggestions, but it's how I work, so if you find it useful.... well, I hope you do.

    First, make your lines thicker. It's easier to get a feel of the stick figures like that. Usually, go around 1.7 lines for regular-sized avatars. Let the lines scale when making things bigger.
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    Goes from this to this.


    Second, those feet are pretty much parallel to the ground, which is natural, but even in OOTS-style there's some perspective. Make them a little more diagonal. If they're looking sideways, play around with the feet until you feel it's right.
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    Sorta like this.


    Third, the lying down position looks really good, but the feet get in the way again. Parallel feet that aren't on the ground don't look right. (looks more like he's dead). You can fix this by making both legs face the same way when he's lying down. Characters who are lying down are basically facing sideways (sideways being up in this case).
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    Fourth, the arms are a little too low. OOTS arms start roughly between the head and the body. Mostly, they should look like they're coming from the neck, since OOTS characters don't have necks. (Unless they have sleeves.) If the arms' position shifts, the starting position should still be the same, which should not be a problem in Inkscape. Also, try to make them longer and less curvy. They should only curve in the upper part, where the shoulder would be. (Again, unless there's sleeves.)
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    Finally, make the ends of the lines and the corners smooth. The option is by selecting it and pressing Ctrl+Shift+F in Inkscape, on the last tab, in case you haven't seen it. It doesn't make a huge difference, but it does help a lot in close-ups and in general to make the comic look smoother.
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    I hope you find this stuff useful. Good Luck!
    Awesomest avatar EVAR by Lord Magtok.

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    He is... the most interesting Angel in the world.
    "I don't always keep spreadsheets over crazy voting patterns on the first day. But when I do, I'm the one running the game."


    ~Credit to Skippy for second line.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dallas-Dakota's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Quote Originally Posted by Face Of Evil View Post
    Good art, Sonny, but you really got to learn punctuation and proper spelling.

    The Legend of Someone
    Sonny: Ugh, I always hate that part.
    Chicken: Well, good morning, sleeping beauty!
    Sonny: I’m going to change. Try and find out what you can.
    Chicken: Where’d you get those clothes?
    Sonny: Borrowed them from that guy.
    Sonny: We probably will never see him again.
    Chicken:Yeah. Try not to steal too much; remember what happened last time.
    Sonny:Yeah, that was great! Let’s do it again!
    Sonny: ... So where are we anyway?
    Chicken:I have no idea.
    Chicken: Well, I can use my magic …
    Sonny: Wait! I know this place!
    (Whispering in bushes) You hear that? Oh crap! Intruders! Get them!
    Sonny: I’M HOME!
    I knew you were lieing when you said you were leaving in the bye thread.....
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    DD: .... DEM HIPS.
    Quote Originally Posted by faerwain View Post
    Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
    Quote Originally Posted by banjo1985 View Post
    My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
    Ceikatar!

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    well so i fixed everything you told me everyone so is that better?

  12. - Top - End - #12
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    Green-Shirt Q's Avatar

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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    Still a few mistakes, but a lot of improvment!

    You still need to capitalize the "I" pronouns.
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  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Oh no heres another Webcomic

    That's a lot better, well done.
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    He is... the most interesting Angel in the world.
    "I don't always keep spreadsheets over crazy voting patterns on the first day. But when I do, I'm the one running the game."


    ~Credit to Skippy for second line.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Well updated and NO spelling mistakes a big cookie for anyone who can find one (except the one purpose) so yeah boo yeah! well anyway i going to bed it is like 3:00 and I have been working all day so telll me what you think

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    I'm assuming "Shadow" is a name, so it should have a capitalized s in panel 2.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    One little tip I've recently learned: If you bend the legs (Not the feet, just the line connecting foot/shoe to torso) in the direction they look more dynamic than just a straight line, it portrays motion better.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dallas-Dakota's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Quote Originally Posted by someonenonotyou View Post
    Well updated and NO spelling mistakes a big cookie for anyone who can find one (except the one purpose) so yeah boo yeah! well anyway i going to bed it is like 3:00 and I have been working all day so telll me what you think
    *go's off to search for spelling mistakes*

    Found two in #1, Well, one maybe and one for certain :
    IM home should be I'm home. And the uhg, should be ugh.
    I iz getting cookies now?
    Last edited by Dallas-Dakota; 2008-08-23 at 08:36 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    DD: .... DEM HIPS.
    Quote Originally Posted by faerwain View Post
    Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
    Quote Originally Posted by banjo1985 View Post
    My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
    Ceikatar!

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Green-Shirt Q's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Also, in the final panel of comic 2 the "GRR" on the protagonist’s shirt is backwards.

    And let's not forget, the eye patch is on the wrong eye when he turns around, and if it is part of the story that he needs the eye patch and is not just wearing it to look cool, I personally suggest you make a second template with the eye patch on the right side.

    Of course, having the eye patch on the wrong side is by no means an error, and is perfectly exceptable to most crowds, but personally I find that having the asymmetrical characters with everything on the same side all the time better, rather then the alternative.

    And of course, "lampshading" (acknowledging the error to make it permissible to the audience) the asymmetrical characters would kinda be ripping off Almighty Salmon a little.
    Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2008-08-23 at 08:52 AM.
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  19. - Top - End - #19
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    OK number 2 is updated well now im working on #3

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Wreckingrocc's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    #1, Panel 5, it should be "We probably will never see him again", not "We probly will never see him again".
    The artist formerly known as Tired N' Drowzy, master of puns.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lyinginbedmon's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Quote Originally Posted by Tired N' Drowzy View Post
    #1, Panel 5, it should be "We probably will never see him again", not "We probly will never see him again".
    "Probly" is acceptable if taken to be pronunciation by the character.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Ah! Much better, SONNY, much better!

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Question: Is that chicken supposed to be a wizard, a sorceror, or a homebrew plot-critical thingy with arcane magic?
    Part of YugiohITP
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    Warning: This post may contain traces of nuts, madness and/or sarcasm, you have been warned.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Bayar's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Quote Originally Posted by Mercenary Pen View Post
    Question: Is that chicken supposed to be a wizard, a sorceror, or a homebrew plot-critical thingy with arcane magic?
    The chicken is a god of war and slaughter that kills everybody for no particular reason. And enjoys it.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    biggrin Re: The Legend of Someone

    OK now everyone you can stop panicing now that i got inkscape working The Legend of Someone iiiiiiiiiiiissssssss back! ok so ill have the new update proley tommorow (depends on homework)
    !!!

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    New comic up!!! yah cookies for everyone

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    ... no comments i would like some opinions... please

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Gourtox's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    In panel one you said get instead of good and probably should capitilize Well.
    In the second one instead of were it should be we were.In panel there is no punctuation.In five she said "Look just who are you." should be a ? and though should be thought.In eight "my mine" should be "my mind".
    I love it though and thought I would give you a comment.
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  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lady Tialait's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    Oh MY GOD! *instert much squeeling here* THIS IS AWESOME....Someone keep up the good work, at this pace your comic will be as neato as your avatar.

    Now, the last two panels of the #3 are a little uneven, the last panel is a little squished, and both the GRR on the shirt is kinda...backwards. Other then that, and a little bit of grammer...I think....not my strong suit. It's great.


    "I laugh at life, it's antics make for me a giddy game. Where only foolish fellows take themselves with solemn aim.”
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    Avatar by: Etcetera|Doll by Recaiden|Sigbanner by Szilard

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Omega's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Legend of Someone

    I'm a fan already.
    @overstandbasics

    overstandbasics.tumblr.com

    Shalom.

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