Please critique my homebrew races: The Tahl and the Orks

[celestialkin]

Hi. These are my first homebrewed races for my campaign world. Can the pros here please give me their opinions on them? To be honest, I have no idea if I did anything about them properly.

I currently have two versions of the following race (the Tahl).

Tahl

About the Tahl, or Blade Elves as they are known to other races. Vagabonds, wanderers, low lived scoundrel, philanderers, smokers, drinkers, revelers, who are nomadic independants, and can at times become quite hostile,...leastways, all of this is according to the perspective of most other Elves.

It is said that they are 'slutty' by other elves, placing not much value in relationships, as they are quite isolated, loners. It is also certain of the aforementioned that they revel excessively, smoke, drink and have no homes. It is also universally agreed that Tahl and their rare, Blade Dancers are essentially legends, both distrusted and respected, as they are thought to be the greatest swordsmen to have ever walked in life.

Tahl are a rare elf subrace, due largely to the lifestyle chosen by the majority of their race, and also due in part to their habit of regularly mating with other races, or even other elves to satisfy their "needs" which leads to few Tahl on Tahl couplings.

Tahl roughly translates into "Blade" in Common.


Alignment:
Tahl tend towards Chaotic and Neutral alignments.

Relations with other races:
Dwarves
Tahl are disliked by many dwarves, although in secret most dwarves actually respect these strange elves. These feelings are due to countless unexpecting dwarves being "disgraced" publicly by being drunk under the table by of all creatures, an elf. To a dwarf this is considered a dishonor, which is difficult to outlive.

Elves
Tahl rarely get along well with other elves. Their differing views with their kin causes the tahl to usually avoid elven lands. Some tahl might go their entire lives without ever stepping foot in elf territory. Instead they travel among the other races.

An exception to this are the Wild Elves. Tahl and wild elves often see many similarities between themselves, and this has lead to a strong and friendly understanding between the two groups. More than a few wild elf tribes tell oral stories of heroic tahl coming to their aid in times of great need. Some tahl have even found permanent homes among the wild elves.

Blade Dancers:
The Tahl are the creators, and sole retainers of the Blade Dancer PrC (see Prestige Class on my site)

Notes:
a) The Blade Dancer PrC has been updated and enhanced for my campaign world.



What do you guys think of the following two versions I posted below? Are either even remotely usable?

Version A


Tahl Traits (Ex)

Tahls possess the following racial traits. These replace the PHB High Elf racial traits.

* +2 Con, -2 Wis.
* Medium size.
* A Tahl's base land speed is 30 feet.
* Immunity to sleep spells and effects, and a +2 racial saving throw bonus
against enchantment spells or effects. (Not reflected in the saving throw modifiers given here.)
* Low-light vision.
* Weapon Proficiency: Tahl are automatically proficient with any form of Simple or Martial sword, even if they have never come across such a blade before.
* A Tahl receives a +1 to all attack rolls when using a sword.
* +2 racial bonus on saving throws against poison.
* Automatic Languages: Common, Elven. Bonus Languages: Any (other than secret languages, such as Druidic). See the Speak Language skill.
* Favored Class: ?????.

Version B


Tahl Traits (Ex)

Tahls possess the following racial traits. These replace the PHB High Elf racial traits.

* (Ability Score modifiers same as PHB High Elf)
* Medium size.
* A Tahl's base land speed is 30 feet.
* Immunity to sleep spells and effects, and a +2 racial saving throw bonus
against enchantment spells or effects. (Not reflected in the saving throw modifiers given here.)
* Low-light vision.
* Weapon Proficiency: Tahl are automatically proficient with any form of Simple or Martial sword, even if they have never come across such a blade before.
* A Tahl receives a +1 to all attack rolls when using a sword.
* +2 racial bonus on saving throws against poison.
* Automatic Languages: Common, Elven. Bonus Languages: Any (other than secret languages, such as Druidic). See the Speak Language skill.
* Favored Class: ?????.

Things applicable to both Version A and Version B


Blade Dancers:
The Tahl are the creators, and sole retainers of the Blade Dancer PrC (see Prestige Class on my site)

Notes:
a) The Blade Dancer PrC has been updated and enhanced for my campaign world.


Racial Feats:

Born To Wield A Blade [Racial]
To a tahl a sword feels as natural in it's hands as a rattle feels in an hands of an infant. Tahl are raised around swords from day one, and they are taught to use them by their parents as soon as they can carry one. While all tahl can instinctively wield most kinds of swords, some refine their skills to the point where they can proficiently wield any type of blade, even if they had never come across such a sword before.

Prerequisites
Tahl, 1st level

Benefit
A tahl with this feat can wield any type of sword, including Exotic swords.

Normal
A tahl can automatically wield any type of Simple and Martial sword.

Special
This feat can only be taken by a tahl at 1st level.


Tahl's Cut [Racial]
Tahl do not simply believe themselves to be among the greatest swordsman in existence. They are more than happy to prove this as fact.

Prerequisites
Tahl

Benefits
A tahl with this feat receives a +1 to all damage rolls made with a sword.

I personally prefer the race having +2 Con and -2 Wis version, but someone mentioned to me that it seems very unelf-like. What are your thoughts on this issue?


I need some opinions on a few more things please:

• What would be an appropriate Favored Class for this race, based on how I described them them in their fluff? What would be a good Class to reflect their swordsmen culture? Or would Rogue be more appropriate for them?

Orks

"We thought they couldn't get any stupider. We were wrong. We were terribly wrong!"
-Erik Gazo, creator of the Orks

The story behind the orc subrace known as orks is an usual one. A few decades before the fall of the human city state Angelovis a high level geneticist named Erik Gazo wanted to create slave race of creatures which would be useful for helping with construction work, and with basic tinkering and repairs of mechanical devices, while at the same time possessing significant brute strength for manual labor. He decided to attempt this project with orcs as the base creatures to experiment on. Needless to say, this all failed miserably.

Somehow Erik manged to succeed at making these creatures amazing tinkerers and gadgeteers, yet at the same time even stupider than their regular orc cousins. Before Erik could terminate these embarrassments, a handful of them somehow escaped his research facility. These few "Orks" as they called themselves (probably a misinterpretation of their own name...) managed to survive and form a stable breeding population. These creatures have since begun to spread across the many planes of existence, to the misfortune of many races and civilizations.

Orks tend to live very short lives, even compared to their orc cousins. This is mostly due to their own actions. Orks love a good fight, and will go to great lengths to get one with anyone or anything. Also, many an Ork dies at the hands of their own constructions, and usally in a very violent and gruesome fashion. However, they breed much faster than normal orcs, and they reach sexual maturity much quicker as well.

To this day Erik Gazo and this incident are mentioned in and as jokes by many peoples and races, and he is looked down upon as one of the biggest fools to ever exist.

Ork Traits (Ex)
These traits are in addition to the Orc traits, except where noted.
• Orks receive an additional -2 Wisdom.
• Orks age up until sexual maturity twice as fast as their orc cousins.
• Orks breed four times faster than their orc cousins.
• Orks receive a +10 to all Craft skills.
• All Craft skills, except for artistic "girly" ones such as painting and pottery, are considered class skills for an Ork. This includes Craft (technological device) (see WoW D20).
• Favored Class: Tinker (see the World of Warcraft d20 Roleplaying game, or ask me to see my personal copy).

[celestialkin]

Were they that bad?

[Neftren]

I feel bad for you. I almost never get comments either. So here goes:

I like the Tahl, but as soon as I read "Blade Elves", I started to get slightly annoyed. Basically all everyone does is create an Elf Subrace. It helps to come up with a unique name (which you did) and the concept is pretty interesting. As for the Tahl themselves, their low numbers makes it rather hard to generate a backstory for, since there are so few "Pureblooded" Tahl. I would suggest the inclusion of pureblood Tahl communities somehow.

Think along the lines of the Drow here. There are Half-Drow, but they are outcasts from the main Drow peoples. You could model a Tahl city on the concept that halfbloods aren't treated with much respect, etc.

I won't answer for Orks.

[celestialkin]

I feel bad for you. I almost never get comments either. So here goes:

I like the Tahl, but as soon as I read "Blade Elves", I started to get slightly annoyed. Basically all everyone does is create an Elf Subrace. It helps to come up with a unique name (which you did) and the concept is pretty interesting. As for the Tahl themselves, their low numbers makes it rather hard to generate a backstory for, since there are so few "Pureblooded" Tahl. I would suggest the inclusion of pureblood Tahl communities somehow.

Think along the lines of the Drow here. There are Half-Drow, but they are outcasts from the main Drow peoples. You could model a Tahl city on the concept that halfbloods aren't treated with much respect, etc.

I won't answer for Orks.

Yeah, I have noticed that this forum gets a lot of threads, but very little replies. Makes me really miss the forums at WotC when they were good/unnerfed.

[Kiren]

I get low reply count too,

I like the Tahl, even though Im not one to play elves much.

[Lappy9000]

Were they that bad?

'Course not, silly
The response time on this forum is usually just 1-3 days, depending on the subject.

Both races are certainly playable (for the Tahl, I'd definitely go with Version A), and balanced as far as I can tell.

I think that if you're aiming to replace the base races with your own (I'm pretty sure you are), they're fine, but if they're supposed to be completely new races...well....

Okay, I think that creating a new race should be aiming to do something fresh and original, that hopefully few have done before. It becomes increasingly difficult, yes, but people tend to have a habit of overlooking subraces (particularly Elf ones...), if only due to the sheer amount of them in the home-brewing community.

So, I think that your races are balanced and playable, but unfortunatly not very interesting

[Prometheus]

I have to say, I really dislike the Tahl elves. Slutty loners? To be blunt, it sounds like bad fanfic. Also, most everyone in this world uses swords, except the people who are different, because they are good at something other than swords, so it makes very little sense for any race to be specialized in swords. And yes, it doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense that an elf would have a bonus to Con and penalty to Wis. That's not a variant elf, that's a variant human.

I have to say I like the Orks though. Their breeding and aging really dehumanizes them and makes for good zerg-type enemies. The Craft also add a nice dynamic. With Orks like these, I might be tempted to replace Orcs with Orks rather than deal with the interplay between the two.

[Knaight]

They're OK. Thats about it though, the Tahl, while having a cool name are pretty much just another elf subrace, although one of the more insteresting ones. The orks are kind of cool, but just basically orcs with craft skills. They are both based on stuff that D&D ripped of tolkien, rather than being new and interesting. Honestly, I'm thinking your letting D&D hold you down at this point, create something totally on your own without any focus on it and it would be a lot better. Both of them are interesting subraces hindered by being a subrace of the same tired old thing. Well, the Orks are interesting, the Tahl have a cool name, but the whole blade thing isn't that great.