The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Inspiration
    "Nothing in this universe can handle those things. Time has been damaged and they've come to sterilize the wound. By consuming everything inside." -The Doctor, Doctor Who.


    Temporium Draconis
    Large Outsider (Extraplanar)
    HD 18d8 +39 (120 HP)
    Speed 5 ft. (1 square); Fly 60 ft. (Perfect)
    Init: +6
    AC 27; touch 11; flat-footed 25
    (-1 size, +16 Natural, +2 Dex)
    BAB/Grp +18/+32
    Attack Slam +24 (3d6+2)
    Full-Attack 4 Slams +24 (3d6+3)
    When grappling with one set of arms: 2 Slams +24 (3d6+3)
    Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
    Special Attacks Pin and Devour, Spell-Like Abilities
    Special Qualities Detect Time Wound, Outsider Traits, DR 10/magic, cold resistance 15, electricity resistance 15, fire resistance 15, SR 30
    Saves Fort +15 Ref +15 Will +14
    Abilities Str 22, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 3, Wis 13, Cha 20
    Skills Intimidate +26, Listen +22, Sense Motive +22, Spot+ 22
    Feats Improved Initiative, Toughness, Improved Natural Attack (Slam), Power Attack, Great Fortitude, Lightning Reflexes, Iron Will, Improved Grapple (B)
    Environment Anywhere time has been manipulated
    Organization Solitary, Infection (2-8)
    Challenge Rating 15
    Alignment Always Neutral

    It looks like some kind of simple black dragonoid figure. Then the wings spread, and you see the four blunt-tipped arms extending from the thing's chest, outlining the massive fanged mouth in the center.

    Temporium Draconis are like bacteria to temporal damage. Whenever somebody casts a time related spell, such as celerity, time stop, temporal stasis, thirteen seconds and others, it causes just a little rip in time. Temporium Draconis are drawn to these rips, consuming everything around them. They often follow the inevitables Quaruts* to flock to the bigger temporal disturbances.

    *Fiend Folio 102

    Pin and Devour (Ex): If a Temporium Draconis hits an opponent its own size or smaller with two or more slam attacks, it deals normal damage and attempts to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it gets a hold, it can attempt to pin. The Temporium Draconis can take a -10 to its grapple check to pin with only two of its arm appendages, allowing it to make 2 attacks each round against the pinned opponent. After an opponent is killed using this attack, it shovels the remains into the chest mouth, utterly consuming the body.

    Spell-Like Abilities: 3/day - teleport without error, time stop, Celerity; 1/day - temporal stasis, thirteen seconds, Greater Invisibility. Caster level 20th; save DC 15 + spell level.

    Detect Time Wound (Su): Temporium Draconis are drawn to mistakes in time, and can detect any spell that manipulates time from any distance. They will only move to such a location to consume if it is extremely close by, or if multiple time manipulating spells are cast in quick succession, or there is some other significant meddling in time.

    [hr]
    This is my first high CR creation, and as such I'm sure I screwed up a few things. Not really sure what they are, but regardless.

    No idea what to do for the CR...VT's calculator comes out about 12, and seeing as it is not terribly weaker than the Chronotyryn (CR 19) from the Fiend Folio I'm guessing this isn't hugely accurate.

    I was originally planning to make these inevitables, but there are already Quaruts, so I made them Outsiders instead.
    Last edited by Icewalker; 2008-09-28 at 10:31 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Not bad. I'm not crazy about the stat block because of the inconsistencies but that's a minor quibble. Since that's the one that's posted in the guide, I'm not blaming you for it but it's annoying nontheless.

    Here's a picture of them:

    Spoiler
    Show



    Full Attack: 4 Slams + 22 melee (3d6+3)

    They should not have the multiattack feat because they only have slam attacks which count as one natural weapon regardless of how many there are. Monster's attacks aren't based on BAB but on number of appendages. This is why they don't get extra attacks based on BAB. If they had a Bite and Gore attack, then they would qualify for the feat.

    Improved Grapple has a prerequisite. This monster doesn't qualify for it because it doesn't have the Improved Unarmed Strike feat. Switching out Improved Unarmed Strike for Multiattack fixes this. In 3.0, monsters didn't have to meet the prerequisites for feats, but that has since changed. The notation about them grappling while attacking should be under Combat and not in the stat block.

    Your combat section is missing. This should indicate what tactics these creatures use. You should note that consuming a body takes one round and leaves no remains.

    Further, they are invisible until they attack. This should be noted in the spell-like abilities. Give them invisibility at will but note in combat section that they become visible in order to attack.

    Advancement normally doubles the HD of a creature. For these, I'd recommend not allowing them to advance. They have a specific niche and role in the universe. Their one goal is to consume any place that has a time paradox created. If the paradox can be resolved by other means, the creatures disappear and anyone killed by them is restored to normal.

    Skills are missing. Outsiders get 8 skills plus skill modifier. Since Int is 3, they get a penalty of -4. For their first HD they get quadruple skills points so they should have 16 for the first HD and 4 for every HD after for a total of 84 Skill points. They probably should have Intimidate, Spot, Listen, Sense Motive. Putting 21 ranks [the max allowed is HD +3] so they have the following skills:
    Intimidate + 26, Listen +22, Sense Motive +22, Spot+ 22. It doesn't appear that they need or use other skills.

    The Challenge Rating is probably 14 or 15. I wouldn't make it any lower than 14.


    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2008-09-28 at 06:52 AM. Reason: more corrections and additions.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Galileo's Avatar

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Very nice. I can't see anything wrong with their abilities, just one minor thing. I think the quote is, "Nothing in this universe can harm those things." Other than that, it's awesome! You win a TARDIS key!

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    One minor one from me as well; following a quarut would be a terrible way to get a snack: quaruts use limited wish and wish to repair temporal damage.

    Of course, my updated quarut does punch people out of time, so...

    It depends which version you're using.

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Another minor comment: The name "Time Stop" is a bit of a misnomer, as the spell doesn't actually affect the time stream in the slightest. It actually super-charges the spellcasters reflexes and perspective to the point that everything around them seems to be literally frozen in place.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Detect Time Wound should be listed as a supernatural ability (su). Pin and Devour should probably be listed as (ex).

  7. - Top - End - #7
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    afroakuma's Avatar

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Also, assuming this is formatted for 3.5 instead of 3rd (which it seems to be, having Space/Reach) its DR cannot be 10/+3. DR is no longer based on enhancement bonus.


    As far as it being not terribly weaker than a Chronotyryn, remember that they can act twice each round, have about 60 more hp, twice the DR, one additional resistance, 5 poins more to each resistance, an immunity to the remaining energy type, and the ability to cast spells as a 12th level sorcerer. Their AC is also better.

    It's noticeably weaker than a Chronotyryn.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    Not bad. I'm not crazy about the stat block because of the inconsistencies but that's a minor quibble. Since that's the one that's posted in the guide, I'm not blaming you for it but it's annoying nontheless.

    Here's a picture of them:

    Spoiler
    Show

    Ah, thanks for the picture.


    Full Attack: 4 Slams + 22 melee (3d6+3)

    They should not have the multiattack feat because they only have slam attacks which count as one natural weapon regardless of how many there are. Monster's attacks aren't based on BAB but on number of appendages. This is why they don't get extra attacks based on BAB. If they had a Bite and Gore attack, then they would qualify for the feat. [/quote]

    So...what should they have then? Because they have four arms they have four slam attacks, I thought they needed the feat to attack with all of them at a lower minus. I removed the BAB based attacks, or else it would be going down (+22/+17/+12/+7). The feat says 'three or more natural attacks.' Ah, just checked, here's Girallon, it has four arms and four claw attacks without multi-attack, and doesn't even have -2 for the multiple attacks.

    Improved Grapple has a prerequisite. This monster doesn't qualify for it because it doesn't have the Improved Unarmed Strike feat. Switching out Improved Unarmed Strike for Multiattack fixes this. In 3.0, monsters didn't have to meet the prerequisites for feats, but that has since changed. The notation about them grappling while attacking should be under Combat and not in the stat block.
    Nope, it's a bonus feat (see the (B)?). Monsters don't have to meet prerequisites for bonus feats.

    Your combat section is missing. This should indicate what tactics these creatures use. You should note that consuming a body takes one round and leaves no remains.
    Not a vital section. Useful, and generally used, but I often leave it out, although I probably shouldn't. Consuming the body is part of the round in which it finishes the creature off (hopefully implied by not saying it requires additional time) and it says "Utterly consuming the body."

    Further, they are invisible until they attack. This should be noted in the spell-like abilities. Give them invisibility at will but note in combat section that they become visible in order to attack.
    Hmm, yeah, this is an inaccuracy with regards to the show. I should give them greater invisibility too I suppose.

    Advancement normally doubles the HD of a creature. For these, I'd recommend not allowing them to advance. They have a specific niche and role in the universe. Their one goal is to consume any place that has a time paradox created. If the paradox can be resolved by other means, the creatures disappear and anyone killed by them is restored to normal.
    Ah, does it? Makes sense, although I can imagine one getting bigger by having lived longer, as much as 'longer' can make sense for a being that is involved in problems with time.


    Skills are missing. Outsiders get 8 skills plus skill modifier. Since Int is 3, they get a penalty of -4. For their first HD they get quadruple skills points so they should have 16 for the first HD and 4 for every HD after for a total of 84 Skill points. They probably should have Intimidate, Spot, Listen, Sense Motive. Putting 21 ranks [the max allowed is HD +3] so they have the following skills:
    Intimidate + 26, Listen +22, Sense Motive +22, Spot+ 22. It doesn't appear that they need or use other skills.

    Oops. Forgot those...Thanks for the help, I'll add those.

    The Challenge Rating is probably 14 or 15. I wouldn't make it any lower than 14.
    Alright, tyvm for all the help.


    ...I really need to stop taking formats and layouts from Fiend Folio. Stupid 3rd edition. I'll switch out the enhancement bonus DR, should've remembered those don't exist in 3.5.

  9. - Top - End - #9
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    afroakuma's Avatar

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Lol. I was wondering why you were referencing uncommon 3rd edition Fiend Folio monsters.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Quote Originally Posted by Icewalker View Post
    So...what should they have then? Because they have four arms they have four slam attacks, I thought they needed the feat to attack with all of them at a lower minus. I removed the BAB based attacks, or else it would be going down (+22/+17/+12/+7). The feat says 'three or more natural attacks.' Ah, just checked, here's Girallon, it has four arms and four claw attacks without multi-attack, and doesn't even have -2 for the multiple attacks.
    Correct. It gets 4 slams at +24 (not at +24/+24/+24,etc.) because you don't need to repeat that. If you notice with the girallon, the bite takes the penalty because that's a secondary attack. Look at the Giant Octopus. It gets 8 slam attacks.

    4 Slams +24 melee is the correct way to write this for Full Attack. This creature doesn't have a secondary attack as all its attacks are considered primary attacks. Now if you want to give it an additional attack, it would need the Rapidstrike feat from Draconomicon. That's the feat that allows Monsters to gain additional attacks (at the standard -5 for the additional attack).

    Full Attack: 4 slams +24/+19 (3d6+2). This is only if you give it the rapidstrike feat. Of course, you can take it one step further and give it Improved Rapidstrike (also from Draconomicon). That gives it a 3rd attack but at the -10 penalty. [i.e. 4 Slams +24/+19/+14 (3d6+2)]. That significantly increases the damage it can do so it might not be appropriate.

    Nope, it's a bonus feat (see the (B)?). Monsters don't have to meet prerequisites for bonus feats.
    For some reason, I thought that had changed... Sorry about that. Yeah, I did notice that it was a bonus feat. I just thought giving out bonus feats without the prerequisites had changed. So much for trying to keep up with the updates.

    I should give them greater invisibility too I suppose.
    Nuh-uh. In the show, the they appeared when they attacked, which is why they should only have regular invisibility. Giving them greater invisibility means that they wouldn't have to appear to attack.

    Also, just switch DR 10/+3 to DR 10/Magic and you should be fine.

    Glad I could help.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2008-09-28 at 04:17 PM.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    They don't appear in the park though, four people die and Mickey doesn't see them.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGirl

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    Default Re: "A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage." [Creature]

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    C
    Also, just switch DR 10/+3 to DR 10/Magic and you should be fine.
    If I remember correctly 3.0 DR 10/+1 translated to DR 10/Magic. I think /+3 equals a specific alignment and type of metal but I could be wrong.

    Nice job though, these guys are cool.
    Last edited by SilentNight; 2008-09-28 at 10:37 PM.
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