The most epic OotS quotes

[RatElemental]

This is wildly off topic but I don't think I'm going to derail this anymore by saying it. The only way I personally know of to cast a personal range spell on someone other than yourself is in pathfinder. Alchemists get some personal range spells as extracts, and with the infuse extract discovery other people can use one's extracts. There's even errata acknowledging you can do this and everything.

[Squire Doodad]

This is wildly off topic but I don't think I'm going to derail this anymore by saying it. The only way I personally know of to cast a personal range spell on someone other than yourself is in pathfinder. Alchemists get some personal range spells as extracts, and with the infuse extract discovery other people can use one's extracts. There's even errata acknowledging you can do this and everything.

Wait, so this applies to both people and conceivably items? That's interesting!

[RatElemental]

Wait, so this applies to both people and conceivably items? That's interesting!

Only to items if you can somehow get it to drink an extract. Which is to say no, still no casting expeditious retreat on your shoes.

[137beth]

I'm a fan of Xykon's entire monologue in 657.

[Squire Doodad]

Only to items if you can somehow get it to drink an extract. Which is to say no, still no casting expeditious retreat on your shoes.

Hm...grab Maxwell's Notebook, apply "drinking" to the relevant item, hope it doesn't register as referring to inebriation.

Lotta work for doing something terribly trivial and largely insignificant, but definitely worth it!

[Jay R]

"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero."

Edit: "And that would be wrong."

[Angel Bob]

I like the ones that are less flashy and more raw, the ones that expose the way the characters feel in a really gut-wrenching way. In other words, Book 5.

"How could this possibly be a joke? Where's the punchline? I know you're the straight man around here, so telling jokes isn't really your area of expertise. But trust me, there's nothing funny about it. He just walked in there and saved my life, and got straight up murdered for it."

"This is it, isn't it? This is what us losing looks like. ... We don't have months, Haley. We don't have days. Hell, we might not even have hours. And as of right now, we don't even have any spellcasters!"
"Roy, I'm a spellcaster."
"YOU DON'T COUNT!!"

[Squire Doodad]

I like the ones that are less flashy and more raw, the ones that expose the way the characters feel in a really gut-wrenching way. In other words, Book 5.

"How could this possibly be a joke? Where's the punchline? I know you're the straight man around here, so telling jokes isn't really your area of expertise. But trust me, there's nothing funny about it. He just walked in there and saved my life, and got straight up murdered for it."

"This is it, isn't it? This is what us losing looks like. ... We don't have months, Haley. We don't have days. Hell, we might not even have hours. And as of right now, we don't even have any spellcasters!"
"Roy, I'm a spellcaster."
"YOU DON'T COUNT!!"

"Roy, I'm a spellcaster"
"YOU DON'T COUNT"
is one for the funny list though, if you take it with little context.

[AchtungNight]

My faves-

“Give me the sword. Then run.”

“Disintegrate! Gust of wind! Now, can we please resume saving the world?”

“You’re... me.”

[Turin_19]

FROM 657 (Xykon vs V)

Xykon: You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you.
Xykon: It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself.
Xykon: Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE.
Xykon: If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying?
Xykon: Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them.
Xykon: 'Course, now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble.
Xykon: It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it.
Xykon: Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right.
Xykon: Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass!
Xykon: I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then.
Xykon: You know what does equal power?
Xykon: Power.
Xykon: Power equals power.
Xykon: Crazy, huh?
Xykon: But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think.
Xykon: It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true.
Xykon: For example
Xykon: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks.
Xykon: So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story?
Xykon: A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phlanges[sic].
Xykon: And they died happily ever after.
Xykon: The End.

THIS is what I make every character ive made based on since I first read this comic. Its amazing, and just jaw droppingly epic. Best set of lines in the entire comic.
If I HAD to pick one single line from this speech?
Xykon: Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE.

This, and also this in http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0881.html:

Belkar: Hey, uh, quick question:
Belkar: If I'm experiencing intense nausea right now, do you think that's due to the blood loss—
Belkar: —or because your whining is making me want to puke?

Panel 1, Page 2
Haley: Belkar, I don't think this is the best time for—
Belkar: No, no, I think I have something to say to Captain Wallow-Pants here.


Belkar: Do you have any idea how bloody useless we were while you were taking your dirt nap?

Panel 2, Page 2
Belkar: The redhead can't lead anyone out of a wet paper bag, and I almost vomited myself to death because you weren't there to keep me from doing something stupid.
Belkar: And the other half was just as bad, from what I hear.
Belkar: Elan couldn't see past some lame subplot, Durkon sat on his thumbs, and I think the elf almost went nuts.

Panel 3, Page 2
Belkar: So you're gonna ***** out now and "sound the alarm?" Sure, whatever.
Belkar: I mean, that bell got rung when a billion hobgoblins stomped up and down on Hinjo's face. I don't hear the cavalry yet.

Panel 4, Page 2
Belkar: The get-the-hell-out-of-here part, though I can get behind.
Belkar: Try to lay low. Bet you can hide on your ditzy girlfriend's cloud. Bring your sister, too.
Belkar: And hey, maybe some other hero will pop out of nowhere to stop this Snarl thing at the last minute.
Belkar: Who knows? It would probably make a better story than this one.

Panel 5, Page 2
Belkar: Of course, it would mean that your best friend got horribly killed for absolutely no damn reason at all.

Panel 6, Page 2
Belkar: Me, I'm a heartless little bastard. I can shrug that kind of thing off.
Belkar: But you seem like maybe that might bother you at some point down the road.

When Belkar rubs this in Roy's face, showing that he's still exactly him, but different, is amazing.

[Squire Doodad]

My faves-

“Give me the sword. Then run.”

“Disintegrate! Gust of wind! Now, can we please resume saving the world?”

“You’re... me.”

Don't recall the last one. Is that from Durkon's revitalizvamprizination?

[Rogar Demonblud]

Yeah, were he turned the vampire spirit into a Mini Me for a round.

[jwhouk]

This, and also this in http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0881.html:
When Belkar rubs this in Roy's face, showing that he's still exactly him, but different, is amazing.

The ultimate part of that is the best quote (and Belkar's "summary statement") - "Hurting people is the only thing I'm good at."

[Vendanna]

the most epic OotS quote is this one.

"New comic is up."~ The Giant

[brian 333]

the most epic OotS quote is this one.

"New comic is up."~ The Giant

You have just won. I doff my cap to you.

[GnollPaladin]

"More than anything."

(sorry the smilie doesn't match up with the quote.)

This one, ten times over.

[jwhouk]

"Well, Durkon, now we're even, I guess. Now it's time for me to put my faith in you."