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    Default [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    Tale of the Indigo Rose


    Almond eyes of a blue so deep as to be purple peeked out from behind the trunk of a large oak, followed by dark blonde tresses with green highlights that rippled nearly to the ground. In the clearing, sitting amongst the ferns was young boy, his shoulders shaking in sobs. She had been watching him stumble about through the growth for hours, obviously lost, and heading only deeper within, but she was wary to show herself to him.

    Her concern grew though as he leaned over and fell into a tearful sleep of weariness. Her heart grew troubled however, for where he lie now she knew however would soon be visited by the dangerous redcaps whom passed through daily. He would be shown little mercy she thought to herself and finally moved towards him.

    'He'll be sorry alright when I don't come back', the eight year old thought to himself peevishly as he lay half-asleep, 'I'll become an old hermit and never ever be found. Tell me what to do will he...'

    He tensed though as something cast a shadow over him. All brave intentions fled from his mind and he very much wished his father was here despite the boy's angered thoughts. He twisted around, scrambling to his feet, but though prepared to run or grab a stick to fight he was unprepared for what he saw. The nymph had garbed herself in some leafy muskadines, having heard that humans covered themselves, but she was still far and away the most beautiful woman he had seen. His father being a wealthy man and having invited many a radiant woman into his household, they all paled before her. Despite his young years he was entranced.

    "Felilialo!" she urged in some strange language, and grabbed his unresisting hand. Together they ran through the woods. He did not question why, merely kept glancing up to look at her. As the woods thinned she saw the spacious summer home where she had seen the boy playing some weeks before.

    She released his hand and prepared to dash back into the thicket but he held tight to her hand, looking up at her wonderously. The nymph couldn't help but smile and she gave him a kiss on the forehead. His grip momentarily loosened in surprise and she hurried away.

    Each year when the boy returned he would go out into the woods, purposely loosing himself, and eventually she would come and find him. For the first few years she scolded him in her own tongue and quickly dropped him off, but she eventually realized that he had long since learned the woods by heart. They began to take long walks in the wood and she would show him sights of the forest few mortals would ever find. He eventually learned her language and they would have long talks, though he tended more to listen.

    Though she never seemed to grow a moment older he soon advanced past childhood. His father had been dead for years and he had since taken over his father's profitable businesses. Those he did business with would have been shocked by his behavior in the woods, knowing him only for his shrewd, almost cold-blooded behavior. Harsh words or a sneering politeness was all they had ever encountered. Those who were closest to him however knew how very charming he could be if it was in persuit of something he wished dearly. And he got what he wished dearly.

    The nymph had long grown used to humans and was no longer shy of their presence. She came to visit the old manor often in the summer. He had had built a dressing room on the edge of the woods where she could change into the comfortable robes he had put there. There he said he would return her favors of the knowledge of the forest with that of civilization. Dancing and music, the arts, to those looking in they would think him the most attentive and doting of fellows. However, as he watched her a cold gleam was in his eye that would have been instantly noticed by his competitors... those that still lived that was.

    The nymph was at first hesitant of this lifeless, sterile place, but eventually she came to enjoy her visits, the dancing upon marble. Though she had not known it, her heart had opened to this strange human boy who had long ago become a man. Thus when he asked her to come away with him to this strange place he called a city, she was greatly torn. It was in the silence of her indecision that a robin alighted the windowsill of the common room and sang.

    "I would my Tucker, but I cannot leave this. The song of the robin thrills me more than any instrument. Dancing upon the hard stone, no matter its beauty cannot compare to the leaf underfoot and the wind in my hair."; she said, looking at him tenderly. "Leaving it would kill me."

    His smile faded and he stood, walking behind her. She felt hard nails grip her shoulds as he whispered, "Perhaps you would reconsider."

    "Tucker, don't claw me!" she cried in surprise. "Let me go!"

    "Let you go? My dear, you will never be released again. You think leaving would kill you? Within your drinks I have been serving you a little concotion of my own. Come along with me or you will surely die without its antidote. I do hope you will reconsider your..." he began, his voice full of smug assurity but then his eyes widened.

    Though the nymph had been alluring beyond mortal kind before, she became a creature than many would have thrown themselves down to and worshipped. It didn't stop there though, he felt his vision fading and soon all became dark. With the sound of torn fabric and rapid footsteps he stumbled forward.

    "What have you done?" he shouted as he grasped the doorframe. "You will pay dearly for that, nymph. You can run, but you'll be back! YOU'LL BE BACK!"

    She would rather die she told herself as she ran, diving into the bushes and along familiar paths no human would notice. The heartache of finding out what that boy had become and whom she had given her heart to though was only matched by the headache that began that night. A relentless, driving pain it quickly became until she could do little more than curl in agony amongst the mosses. The agony confused her mind and her resolve warn worn away hour by hour. After nearly three days of pure agony she pulled herself to the front door of the large house before collapsing.

    When she came to she found herself sitting in a wagon opposite him, filled with dizziness which was the only reminder of the pain she had suffered. Though blinded, he wore a knowing, satisfied expression on a face she had somehow once seen as comely.

    Indigo, as she was named, was dressed in the finest clothing and fairly paraded about wherever Lord Tucker Vepres IV went. His blindness brought sympathy, his mistress, attention and jealousy. The gardens on his estate were increased in size and only here could she find a modicum of solace. But no matter where she would run amongst the too-civilized growth she would eventually meet up against the surrounding wall. She had thoughts of escape, and through charm and skill she had managed to find the drug to which she had been given and its counter agent, her Lord was far too crafty. Drugs, poisons, and other horrible maladies were given her and then the cure without her knowledge. In this way she could never be sure what bound her and what had already been cured.

    Though she was allowed to explore the city, to her senses it was a place so dead it was as a black desert. Gems took the place of flowers, buildings became her trees and the animals with once she had frolicked and petted and loved had been replaced with society's beasts.

    She was a beautiful bird in a cage of gold. A cage that would forever hold her, released only now and against to dance and sing upon her master's finger.

    Despite her neverending, flawless beauty his interest eventually waned over the years and she was banished from the household, to live amongst the garden or the wilds of the alleys. He continued her drugging merely as a cruel diversion. She wept as much from anger as sorrow as the meager crack in the stone upon which she had lived was paved over.

    They never found her when she disapeared many days later, having crawled until she bled from the cruel thorns of an enormous thicket of roses left wild and unchecked in a rarely visited corner of the garden. In the thickest part she lay until the multiple toxins within her had taken their toll, she too numbed to care about the pain it caused. As she felt the last bit of life begin to drain she reached up to one of the blossoms and drank deeply of its aroma. She smiled with all the innocence and joy she had once possessed, an expression that had not come to her for longer than she could remember. She then went limp with the perfume within her nostrils. The rose still held in her hand deepened in color, shading to a shadowy bluish-purple. Within moments every blossom across the thicket had become indigo, and the dew upon them the color of blood.

    -=-=-=-=-

    To his credit, Lord Vepres felt a brief pang of sorrow at her absence, which could mean nothing but death. It was a selfish melancholy however, filled with the memories of his youth, which soon faded.

    New woman were admitted into his home, and if they did not wish to come willingly they were blackmailed, coerced, or in a number of cases, treated to the same methods as Indigo. As these girls would come they would be awoken by a sweet scent in the air and a voice whispering on the wind. Those that followed the voice came to the beautiful bushes of blossoming indigo roses. There the voice would speak of things that caused anger to rise within their hearts. The voice would then promise them justice and a chance to strike back against this vile noble. Invariably they agreed...

    Blinded, the noble failed to notice that each of his mistresses gained a strange purple shadowing above each eye. An alluring scent clung to each one that in the presence of which he found himself unable to resist the women's wiles.

    Several weeks later a scream echoed across the estate of the Lord's manner, awakening his staff and the neighbors. It went on for some time.

    The body was eventually found in many pieces, spread out across the strange rose thicket, slashed to shreds and then scattered.

    From then on strange shadows were to be seen coming and going amongst the grounds. The manor was sold, but the owners soon left in fright from the strange happenings about it. Eventually it was abandoned and left to disrepair. The roses however continued to grow in size. Strangely enough they avoided all of the other plants, allowing them to grow, but constructed things were covered and eventually cracked and mangled.

    To this day a sweet, wensome scent hangs about the place, though not so strongly as the unnerving sense of menace...
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2006-10-29 at 03:56 PM.

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    Default Re: [Indigo] A rose by any other shade...

    Indigo Beauty

    Since the first of the mistresses of Lord Vepres entered the garden there have been the Indigo Beauties. Upon death the nymph's spirit and longing to return to nature allowed her to bond with the rose bush and possess it. This unique existence had her melding with the strange life of the city and the natural settings of the gardens scattered throughout it. Granted was the exotic ability to transform woman whom smelled of her scent and whoes soul and heart were alike to that of the wounded nymph's.

    Those first woman bonded together on a deep level as well as with Indigo and have since brought many more such woman to the gardens. A sisterhood eventually rooted and blossomed, dedicated to stamping out the wealthy whom used their power to abuse others, particularly woman. They did not limit themselves to just the wealthy however, fighting injustice and cruelty wherever it might rise.

    When these woman died they found themselves in a second life, daughters of their great mother that would spread the effort and train another generation. Though their base forever remains within the city of the original Mother, Indigo's Beauties have since spread far and wide like a thriving vine.

    Indigo beauties undergo a gradual transformation, slowly changing into woman of incredible perfection in body and movement. Each however gains a bluish-purple shadowing over their eyes and over the location of their heart. As well, their nails grow and thicken, strengthening to an almost unbreakable degree.


    Sample Indigo Beauty

    This woman's presence is almost a physical force, her face and form almost inhumanly perfect. Coupled with this is a stance and glimmer in her purple-shadowed eyes that shows she has a strength of personality to match...

    Aurora Dellar, Cleric of Lastai 4
    Medium Fey (augmented humanoid)
    Hit Dice: 4d8+4 (22 hp)
    Initiative: +4
    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), climb 15 ft.
    Armor Class: 21 (+6 deflection, +5 dex), touch 21, flat-footed 16
    Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+4
    Attack: Claw +7 melee (1d4+1)
    Full Attack: 2 claws +7 melee (1d4+1)
    Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Musk, spell-like abilities, spells
    Special Qualities: Ageless beauty, greater woodland stride, indigo mark, low-light vision, scent, unearthly grace, woman's scorn
    Saves: Fort +10, Ref +11, Will +12
    Abilities: Str 13, Dex 18, Con 13, Int 11, Wis 16, Cha 23
    Skills: Climb +8, Concentration +7, Diplomacy +7, Jump +8
    Feats: Ability Focus (musk), Blind-Fight, Crowd Tactics, Track, Weapon Finesse
    Environment: Any urban
    Organization: Solitary, Trio, or Sisterhood (6-20)
    Challenge Rating: 6
    Treasure: Standard
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Advancement: By character class
    Level Adjustment: +4

    Aurora was once the daughter of a lower-class call girl who fled the attentions of an over amorous admirer. She was persued by his thugs and found. When she resisted they beat her to death in front of Aurora with whom she was fleeing. Taken into an orphange she fled once in her teens. Huddling in an abandoned mansion, she was found by an Indigo Beauty and brought into the sisterhood. Wishing more than just to wreak vengeance and sneak about she felt compelled to join the church of Lastai.

    Combat

    Ageless Beauty (Ex): Aurora does not take penalties to her ability scores for aging and cannot be magically aged. Any such penalties that she has already taken fade away. Bonuses still accrue, and eventually the she will die of old age as normal for her race, though she remains as youthful and radiant as ever. Even in death she shall remain flawless and uncorrupted as if from the Gentle Repose spell, and cannot be risen as an undead. From her heart soon rises a tiny rose shoot which grows with incredible alacrity. Within a week the body is covered and then absorbed by the plant, becoming an Indigo Rose.

    Greater Woodland Stride (Ex): Aurora may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed and without taking damage or suffering any other impairment. Even thorns, briars, and overgrown areas that have been magically manipulated to impede motion do not affect her.

    Indigo Mark (Ex): Aurora may 'mark' an individual with a special type of scent that is odorless to all creatures but the beauties themselves. This mark lasts for 1d4 days. An indigo beauty may detect this mark at four times the normal range of scent, though still cannot pinpoint the exact location of the marked individual until within 10 feet.

    Musk (Ex): Aurora continuously produces a powerful pheromone smelling faintly of the sweetest roses. All creatures within 10 feet that smell this musk must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 14) or become Charmed for as long as she remains within range and for 1d4 minutes after. Male creatures take a -4 penalty on this save. Those that successfully make the save are unaffected by the Musk for the rest of the day.

    Spell-like Abilities:
    At will - Brambles. 1/day - Briar Web. Caster level equal to base creature's HD. Save DC's are Charisma-based.

    Spells:
    Typical Cleric Spells Prepared (caster level 4th):

    0 - Detect Magic, Detect Poison, Inflict Minor Wounds, Mending, Purify Food and Drink
    1st - Divine Favor, Doom, Endure Elements, Obscuring Mist, Protection from Law (D)
    2nd - Delay Poison, Enthrall, Silence, *Lastai's Caress(D)

    D: Domain Spell. Domains: Chaos (chaos spells cast at +1 caster level) and *Pleasure (immune to charisma damage and drain).

    * The Pleasure Domain and Lastai's Caress can be found in the Book of Exalted Deeds.

    Unearthly Grace (Su): Aurora adds her Charisma modifier as a bonus on all her saving throws, and as a deflection bonus to her Armor Class.

    Woman's Scorn (Ex): Aurora is particularly wary for attempts to cozen her in any fashion, gaining a +4 bonus to all saves against mind-affecting effects, and is immune to Charm. As well, she is considered to be Unfriendly to those who try to influence her behavior through Diplomacy despite the fact that she might not in fact bear any ill will towards the speaker. Any situation that would normally make her Unfriendly instead makes her Hostile.

    Skills: Aurora gains a +4 bonus on climb and jump checks and uses her dexterity modifier for both skills instead of strength. She also gains a +4 racial bonus on Survival checks when tracking by scent.

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-

    Indigo Beauty

    Indigo Beauty is an acquired template that can be added to any female humanoid, hereafter referred to as the base creature. An Indigo Beauty uses all the base creature’s statistics and special abilities except as noted here. They gain the augmented (humanoid) subtype.
    Size and Type: The creature's type changes to fey. Do not recalculate base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.
    Speed: An indigo beauty gains a climb speed half that of her base land speed (rounded up).
    Attack: Indigo beauties retain all the natural attacks, manufactered attacks, and weapon proficiencies of the base creature. An indigo beauty gains two claw attacks.
    Damage: A claw attack deals damage based on the indigo beauty's size. (If the base creature already had a claw attack, use the indigo beauty's claw attack only if its better).

    Code:
    Indigo Beauty's Size   Claw Attack Damage
    Dimunitive or Fine      1
    Tiny                    1d2
    Small                   1d3
    Medium                  1d4
    Large                   1d6
    Huge                    1d8
    Gargantuan              2d6
    Colossal                4d6
    Special Attacks: An indigo beauty retains all attacks of the base creature plus the following attacks.

    Musk (Ex): An indigo beauty continuously produces a powerful pheromone smelling faintly of the sweetest roses. All living creatures within 10 feet that smell this musk must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC = half indigo beauty's DC + Constitution modifier) or become Charmed for as long as the indigo beauty remains within range and for 1d4 minutes after. Male creatures take a -4 penalty on this save, and genderless creatures (such as mindflayers) gain a +4 bonus. Those that successfully make the save are unaffected by the Musk for the rest of the day.
    Spell-like Abilities: At will - *Brambles. 1/day - *Briar Web. Caster level equal to base creature's HD. Save DC's are Charisma-based.
    *From the Spell Compendium.

    Special Qualities: An indigo beauty retains all qualities of the base creature plus the following qualities.

    Ageless Beauty (Ex): An indigo beauty does not take penalties to her ability scores for aging and cannot be magically aged. Any such penalties that she has already taken fade away. Bonuses still accrue, and eventually the indigo beauty will die of old age as normal for her race, though she remains as youthful and radiant as ever. Even in death she is flawless and uncorrupted as if from the Gentle Repose spell, and cannot be risen as an undead. From her heart soon rises a tiny rose shoot which grows with incredible alacrity. Within a week the body is covered and then absorbed by the plant, becoming an Indigo Rose.
    Greater Woodland Stride (Ex): In indigo beauty may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed and without taking damage or suffering any other impairment. Even thorns, briars, and overgrown areas that have been magically manipulated to impede motion do not affect her.
    Indigo Mark (Ex): An indigo beauty may 'mark' an individual with a special type of scent that is odorless to all creatures but the beauties themselves. This mark lasts for 1d4 days plus an additional day equal to the indigo beauty's consitution modifier. An indigo beauty may detect this mark at four times the normal range of scent, though still cannot pinpoint the exact location of the marked individual until within 10 feet.
    Low-Light Vision (Ex): An indigo beauty can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. She retains the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
    Scent (Ex): A indigo beauty can detect creatures by scent within 30 feet. If the creature is upwind, the range increases to 60 feet; if downwind, it drops to 15 feet. Strong scents, such as smoke or rotting garbage, can be detected at twice the ranges noted above. Overpowering scents, such as skunk musk or troglodyte stench, can be detected at triple normal range. When an indigo beauty detects a scent, the exact location of the source is not revealed - only its presence somewhere within range. The indigo beauty can take a move action to note the direction of the scent. Whenever the indigo beauty comes within 5 feet of the source, the beauty pinpoints the source’s location.
    Unearthly Grace (Su): An indigo beauty adds her Charisma modifier as a bonus on all her saving throws, and as a deflection bonus to her Armor Class.
    Woman's Scorn (Ex): An indigo beauty is particularly wary for attempts to cozen them in any fashion, gaining a +4 bonus to all saves against mind-affecting effects and are immune to Charm. As well, an indigo beauty is considered to be Unfriendly to those who try to influence their behavior through Diplomacy despite the fact that they might not in fact bear any ill will towards the speaker. Any situation that would normally make them Unfriendly instead makes them Hostile.

    Abilities: Increase from the base creature as follows: Dex +4, Con +2, Cha +6.
    Skills: An indigo beauty gains a +4 bonus on climb and jump checks and uses her dexterity modifier for both skills instead of strength. Indigo beauties also gain a +4 racial bonus on Survival checks when tracking by scent. Otherwise same as the base creature.
    Feats: An indigo beauty gains Crowd Tactics, Track, and Weapon Finesse as bonus feats even if they do not meed the prerequisites. Otherwise same as the base creature.
    Challenge Rating: Same as base creature +2.
    Alignment: Usually chaotic good
    Advancement: By character class
    Level Adjustment: +4
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2006-11-28 at 10:43 AM.

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    Default Re: [Indigo] A rose by any other shade...

    Indigo Rose



    This large, dense thicket is so intertwined that the mass is nearly solid. Despite the time of year beautiful, enormous roses of a purplish-blue hue blossom, releasing a captivating scent...

    Huge Plant
    Hit Dice: 6d8+18 (45 hp)
    Initiative: +2
    Speed: 0 ft.
    Armor Class: 20 (+4 deflection, +2 dex, +6 natural, -2 size), touch 14, flat-footed 18
    Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+20
    Attack: Brambles
    Full Attack: Brambles
    Space/Reach: 15 ft./-
    Special Attacks: Brambles, constrict, essence of indigo, improved grab
    Special Qualities: Blindsight 120 ft., fey, plant traits, scent, whispering wind
    Saves: Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +5
    Abilities: Str 26, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 18
    Skills: Listen +12, Sense Motive +12
    Feats: Deflect Arrows, Great Fortitude, Snatch Arrows
    Environment: Any land
    Organization: Solitary or Coven (1 indigo rose thicket plus 3-20 indigo beauties)
    Challenge Rating: 7
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Often chaotic good
    Advancement: 7-19 HD (Huge), 20-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37-52 HD (Colossal)
    Level Adjustment: -

    An indigo rose is most often found within isolated gardens, as they sense their time growing near and alert their sisters who prepare them a place to flourish. However, in the course of their dangerous life they may die in less ideal locales, though they seem to have no difficulty cracking through the stone of street and wall for the soil below.

    This existence brings to them a wisdom and understanding of the life around them that they impart to the indigo beauties they attract. A ceremony is performed to bring new beauties within the sisterhood, whereupon the souls of the rose and the initiate bond at a primal level. The initiate crawls through the thicket to the middle, sustaining horrible lacerations down their back from the cruel thorns. The trance however is of a depth to numb them to all pain. Mins and body are changed as the supernatural scent infuses their system. As they are released the cuts heal, leaving only the faintiest criss-crossing of tiny scars. A drowsiness soon takes the initiate, causing them to sleep through a full day and night. Upon awakening the transformation has been completed.

    Indigo roses know any languages they did in their previous life, though cannot speak except through their whispering winds.

    Combat
    An indigo rose is only mobile within the reach of its thorns, and as such is often vulnerable to those otuside their reach. In such occassions they send forth numerous messages upon the wind to call for aid amongst the indigo beauties.

    Brambles (Ex): If the rose wishes, any creature forced into or attempting to move through its space takes slashing damage per round of movement equal to 30 minus the creature’s AC. Dexterity and dodge bonuses to AC do not count for this calculation. (Creatures with an Armor Class of 30 or higher, without considering Dexterity and dodge bonuses, take no damage from contact with the thicket.)

    Creatures can force their way slowly through the wall by making an opposed Strength check as a full-round action. For every 5 points by which the check exceeds the thicket's, a creature moves 5 feet (up to a maximum distance equal to its normal land speed). Of course, moving or attempting to move through the thorns incurs damage as described above. A creature trapped in the thorns can choose to remain motionless in order to avoid taking any more damage.

    The thicket can be breached by slow work with edged weapons. Chopping away at the roses creates a safe passage 1 foot deep for every 10 minutes of work. Normal fire cannot harm the barrier, but magical fire burns it away in 10 minutes.

    Constrict (Ex): An indigo rose deals 4d6+8 points of damage with a successful grapple check. This damage is not negated by armor as mentioned in Brambles.

    Essence of Indigo (Su): An indigo rose may choose to open its blossoms, releasing a cloud of perfumed spores 5 feet wide and 10 feet high. Females that breathe in this cloud are unaffected unless exposed for an hour. If humanoid, the woman gains the Indigo Beauty template above. Male beings of any kind however must succeed on a DC 16 fortitude save or become Dominated for 24 hours. Those that make the save cannot be affected against for 24 hours. The save DC is Constitution-based.

    Fey (Ex): An indigo rose cannot be identified as a fey by any spells or powers. However, for all effects related to type, an indigo rose is considered a fey. It is thus unaffected by spells that affect plants.

    Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, an indigo rose must have its opponent within its space. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

    Whispering Wind (Sp): An indigo rose may use whispering wind as the spell at will. If sending a message to an indigo beauty the wind goes straight to the individual instead of to an area even if the indigo rose has no knowledge of the location. This is still limited by range. Caster level 10th.
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2006-10-29 at 03:49 PM.

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    Default Re: [Indigo] A rose by any other shade...

    Possible affiliation stats to follow...

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    Look ma, no psionics...

    Alright, as the background and template itself have been posted, this is open to comments and constructive criticism.


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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    Interesting. I see you took the same association of indigo with nobility and fey as I did. I think that'll be the second theme, next to madness. An intriguing entry overall, better than your previous two. Now for the nitpicks:

    1. A sad face as your topic icon? I can see how it fits with the theme, but given your constant pronouncements of "look ma, no psionics!", it might convey the wrong impression. I'd change it.

    2. My personal preference is the template before the sample creature. Not WotC standard, but I believe definition should always come before example.

    3. Just female humanoids? What about fey?

    4.
    Aurora was once the daughter of a lower-class call girl who fled the attentions of an over amorous admirer. She was persued by his thugs and found. When she resisted they beat her to death in front of her daughter with whom she was fleeing.
    Confusion from pronouns here. You could interpret it as "Aurora was a daughter of a lower-class girl. She fled the attentions of an admirer. When she resisted, they beat her (Aurora) to death in front of her daughter." It would be clarified by replacing "her daughter" with "Aurora" in the last sentence.

    5. I don't think the +2 Con bonus fits with the fey origin.

    6. If an Indigo Beauty musk-charms Derek and tells him to stay within 10 ft. of her, how long until the effect breaks?

    7. Can other females be charmed into joining their ranks?

    8. Does Woman's Scorn imply that any attempts to talk to them quickly turn bad? Does that apply for women talking to them as well as men? How would it be modified for non-standard Diplomacy models, such as The Giant's alternate version?

    9. When does the transformation from a regular humanoid into the Indigo Beauty occur? As soon as she's accepted in? A year later? When she returns to the base garden?

    10. What relations do Indigo Beauties have with outsiders? Are they all loners, or do some have lovers or even families?

    11. Crowd Tactics is missing a reference to which book it's in.

    12. Flavor word count: 1925 words
    PCs: Horacio, Gorby, Helionaluxis

    Avatar by Ceika

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike_Lemmer
    Just female humanoids? What about fey?
    Fey aren't affected. Indigo wasn't transformed, she merely took possession of a plant. Those she transforms however is able to do what she does.

    Also, fey vary so wildly in appearance it just doesn't seem right. A 'comely splinterwaif' would make me wince.


    5. I don't think the +2 Con bonus fits with the fey origin.
    I'm going more for an increase in lung capacity and endurance than actual physical toughness.

    6. If an Indigo Beauty musk-charms Derek and tells him to stay within 10 ft. of her, how long until the effect breaks?
    Until the beauty gets tired of her boyfriend ;)

    However, with their climbing and traipsing all about the city, it'd probably not be convenient.

    7. Can other females be charmed into joining their ranks?
    Theoretically, however forcing woman to make such a big step against their will is contrary to everything the sisterhood stands for.

    Also, she would become immune to charm afterwards and might be a bit ticked to find out what was done against her will. She wouldn't be very useful to the group at that point.

    8. Does Woman's Scorn imply that any attempts to talk to them quickly turn bad? Does that apply for women talking to them as well as men? How would it be modified for non-standard Diplomacy models, such as The Giant's alternate version?
    No, talks don't go bad per se, they are just unlikely to get anywhere as the beauties are reluctant to give up their position.

    9. When does the transformation from a regular humanoid into the Indigo Beauty occur? As soon as she's accepted in? A year later? When she returns to the base garden?
    That info will be covered in the organization and rose-bush page.

    10. What relations do Indigo Beauties have with outsiders? Are they all loners, or do some have lovers or even families?
    Its likely that many have children, but most of them have probably been through some really rough times with any partners. They may marry after gaining the template, but it'd have to be a truley caring man to attract one.

    11. Crowd Tactics is missing a reference to which book it's in.
    Whoops, meant to add a link.

    12. Flavor word count: 1925 words
    Yup, sure is

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    And just added the indigo rose bush stats.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    A fairly extensive opening fiction, some reliance on non-core material (e.g. who is Lastai?), and the general form make me a little wary of this entry. *Also, I'm not sure how well a new monster fits in here, and the gender-related subtext (intended or not) is interested.

    Overall it's rather nice.
    "If Merlin had seen what you had seen, Merlin would have died, and Merlin would have died without regret, for Merlin receives facts reasonably." -- James Branch Cabell, Jurgen

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    some reliance on non-core material (e.g. who is Lastai?)
    A minor deity from the Book of Exalted Deeds. Basically she teaches the equality of men and women.

    A goddess of relationships, love, and affection.


    and the general form make me a little wary of this entry.
    In what way?

    Also, I'm not sure how well a new monster fits in here
    Well, considering its the focal point of the Indigo Beauties I thought it'd be appropriate.


    Overall it's rather nice.
    Thank ye.


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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    I'd guess it's the placement of the example before the template rules, plus the lack of a summary at the beginning.
    PCs: Horacio, Gorby, Helionaluxis

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    I think placement of a sample creature with the template before the template itself is normal format, but I believe that most RPG fiction -- and this certainly extends to popular published material -- isn't exactly great. *It's something I typically skip unless A) the fiction is less than (say) 100 words or B) the setting or concept itself grabs me. *But over anything, I feel like RPG fiction should represent your idea, not convey what you have to present. *This is why I think technical writing is more useful than creative writing for writing RPG material. *

    I recall one RPG developer remarked that the reason why RPG fiction is considered so bad is because the writers firstly create RPG material and then write the fiction; the fiction is just an ancillary part of the book. *In other words, you rarely have actual fiction writers writing RPG fiction. *But any RPG book -- if it's at least one worth buying -- should stand on its own if all the fiction were excised.

    Looking at this again, I realized that I actually have a fairly fuzzy idea of what this template is.

    "If Merlin had seen what you had seen, Merlin would have died, and Merlin would have died without regret, for Merlin receives facts reasonably." -- James Branch Cabell, Jurgen

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    Default Re: [Template] A rose by any other shade...

    Well, I prefer my fiction first and then shape the creature rules around it. Thats how I've always done it and its always worked very well for me.

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