Helping IntSec with their inquieries.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Instructions will be bolded.
Descriptions will be italic.
Words will be normal.
Robots will be in System.
The Computer will be in Fixedsys.
There will be no OOC thread, no OOC comments save by PM to me, and no editing posts. Make a mistake and you are stuck with it.

If you make a roll or take an action that you want to keep secret from the other players post as follows:

Secret Roll:[d20 roll]

Between the time that the roll is posted and I respond to it you may PM me with a number of perversity points and if you want to push it up or down. If you want to effect a roll I am going to make, PM me before I make it (logically if a guy has drawn a weapon you could conclude that I am about to have him shoot. Qualifications like "if he shoots me I spend his roll down by 5 perversity")

When you make your first post put your two ticks, as PMed to me, in a spoiler box. This is not secret, I simply want it to be tidy. Do it like this:

Ticks:
1)
2)

When you woke up this Fourday you got as far as the door out of your room. A pair of IntSec Green troopers where standing there to pick you up. Holding you by an arm each you are taken to a transtube, have a ticket shoved into a pocket and pushed through the transtube doors. The ticket reads: IntSec Sector 19 house. The back reads: Be prompt. Be seeing you. IntSec.

You arrived at what you Conductorbot told you was yoru stop and stepped outside to see a massive building with IntSec Green security goons outside. This is definitely an IntSec building, the total lack of any insignia at all gives it away. You go in through the doors to find a RED room. There are several security cameras and a large table in this room. A note says "The Computer is aware you have missed you Firstmeal. These bags contain substitutes. After taking one and eating pass into the next room for briefing." Each of the bags contains a can of Extra Classic BBB, a VitaYum meal bar and a bag of Plain Algae chips. One bag has a Bottle of "Chilly Tealike" in place of the BBB.

You all arrive at different times. Have fun. Roleplay. Be Happy.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"I am so happy that my Friend, the Computer, looks out for me." Rubiks-R-QUB-1, smiling widely, sits down and eats her VitaYum meal bar (which tastes so much better than ColdFun!) and her CruncheeTym Algae Chips (one of the perks for her loyalty to her Friend!) and the BBB was extra classic today. She left the Chilly Tealike to the others.

Her first Troubleshooting mission. She only hoped that she could do more for her Friend. Knowing that it was impolite to be tardy, and that the Computer and all of Alpha Complex expected Troubleshooters to be not tardy, she walked into the briefing room.

It was much easier to defend against treason when you were excessively on-time.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Do you have not ticks citizen?

You enter the breifing room and see six sturdy red chairs with small tables in front of them. The chairs are bolted to the floor. There is a glass screen in fornt of you. Behind that is a Yellow clerance officer behind a desk. On this side of the screen there are two Blue IntSec Security troopers in their intimidating Mk7 TurboKill armour and carring their Mk 9 Guass Shotguns looming at you. The Breifing officer speaks.

"Sit down and allow the restariants to fasten themselves."

[Jokes]

Izzy

Izzy smiles at Rubiks, then takes one of the bags. He opens up his meal bar, pressing the entire thing into his mouth. He slowly starts chewing while opening the chips. Before he has a chance to swallow, he starts feeding chips into his mouth. Amazingly, he fits the entire bag in without swallowing. His mouth full, he cracks open the Extra classic and, tilting his head back, pours some into his almost overflowing mouth. His mastication slows, working the lot around his mouth, sitting for a few minutes until the lot becomes a smooth paste. Swallowing, he takes a long gulp of the soda and wipes his mouth. "Friend Computer is so generous," he smiles. Wondering when and if others will be arriving, Izzy instead decides to join Rubiks in the briefing room, sitting in one of the red chairs.

Spoiler

Show

Ticks:
1) "Om mhff fm ah hm." Whenever he eats, he must cram as much into his mouth as possible.

2) 'Oh...it's...gushing..." Afraid of blood, pus, mucous, pretty much any body fluid. It's funny cos he's wants to be a doctor.

[Evil DM Mark3]

sitting in one of the red chairs.

Restraints shoot out of the chair legs and lock your legs to the chair, a turrent drops down from the ceiling and points its laser at your face.

OOC:Take 2 perversity for that almost disturbing bout of food role playing. You all have 15 plus either 5 or 1 per tick, depending on if they are unique (to be adressed when all ticks are posted).

[Sicarius]

Spoiler

Show

I am sorry, Friend Computer. I am still a bit unsure what ticks are. Can almost anything be a tick?

If so, then I will have the following ticks
1. Vid-show wannabe. Gushes about the latest vid when given the opportunity. States that she could be the next Teela-O.
2. Has an almost unhealthy fixation on shoes. Objectifies them as people sometimes. Tries to make sure shoes are shiny and happy. All the time. Even when they're sneakers. Especially when they're sneakers.

Rubiks-R-QUB smiles cheerfully. "This makes me so happy." Rubiks has a smile to blind a EyeBot. She cheerfully sits in the red chair and allows the restraints to fasten themselves. "I hope I perform so well on my first mission that Friend Computer commends my performance. I would be very happy to have a new pair of shoes that state how much I love my Friend, the Computer and how happy I am to be a Troubleshooter."

[Evil DM Mark3]

Ticks accepted.

[Aergoth]

Eric-R-TAT-1

Eating quickly Eric-R-TAT-1 looks at the room adjacent, where the other troubleshooters have already arrived. "Shooting trouble. The best kind of mandatory fun!" Eric sits down, with a slight cautiousness. As the restraints clamp on, Eric relaxes. No sense in resisting Friend Computer after all. Eric looks appraisingly at the turret that swivels down from the ceiling.

"When do we get to find the trouble?"

Spoiler

Show

Ticks: Eric is a little overcautious as he sits down, and he stares almost uncompromisingly at the turret, never letting his eyes leave it. (Eric has something of a self-preservationist streak)

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Spoiler

Show

Tick 1 – BBB gets him drunk
Tick 2 – Hates GREEN

BARGY was feeling happier than ever as he skipped out of his bed that Fourday morning. Imagine the jealousy of his vat-mates when they discovered he had been promoted to RED clearance. His happiness drained as he spotted the two troopers outside his door. His anger was already building deep within. How dare they perform this affront to the computer? How could their crime go unpunished? He would have to take action himself? “What do you think you are doing?” he shouted at the unsuspecting IntSec goons. “Do you think you can get away with this?”

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

Spoiler

Show

1. Easily distracted - especially by shiny things. SHINY!
2. Clumsy - many bruises will attest to this

As Bob-R-BOB-1 walks into the room his foot catches on the door jam and he stumbles forward, barely catching himself before his head hits the table with the "food."

He looks around guiltily and says ""Sorry friends if my display caused you fear for my safety, I did not mean to cause you any . . . . ohhh chilly tealike, YUM!"

Bob-R-BOB-1 takes the bag with the Chilly Tea-like, eats it quickly while fiddling with the pop-top on the chilly tealike and then moves in to the next room. He promptly sits down, a bit to quickly and bumps his head, and allows the straps to fasten.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Spoiler

Show

Ticks: Eric is a little overcautious as he sits down, and he stares almost uncompromisingly at the turret, never letting his eyes leave it. (Eric has something of a self-preservationist streak)

Is this your only Tick citizen?

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM-1

Ticks:

Spoiler

Show

1) Often rather pessimistic and negative, except when...
2)He is happy and exuberant when he works on machinery or is behind the wheel of a vehicle.

Chester-R-HAM-1 entered the waiting room, and said nothing other than "Hello" while he slowly and carefully ate his meal. He was glad that the Computer had seen fit to feed him and the others; Sandallathon tablets made him somewhat hungry. His promotion to Red had made him happy, but he realized that this would probably be made up for by something bad happening. This was the notification that he had been made a Troubleshooter.

Chester enters the briefing room, and, upon seeing the heavily armed troopers and the orders of the Yellow, sighs inwardly. He sits down in the red chair and lets the restraints lock. He is unfazed by the sudden appearance of the laser turret; he was expecting the restraints and security weapons. He agreed with the Computer's belief in firm control. If one left things to chance, they would probably turn out for the worst.

[Evil DM Mark3]

As soon as everyone is locked in with a laser turret pointed at their face an ORANGE clearance IntSec file administrator walks in and hands out "MBD Determination Test 88-9b." This is a seven page document with a short pen attached to it on an agressively short piece of plasticord. Bob-R-BOB-1's requires him to fold the paper over to get the pen to the bottom of the page. The YELLOW clearance officer speaks "Fill out as much of each section as you can. I am required to inform you that some answers may be considered treasonous. The Computer calculates that you will require no more than 38.221 minutes."

Page1

Spoiler

Show

Team leader
1. If a mission succeeds, who deserves the
most credit?
A. The team leader.
B. The briefing officer.
C. R&D.
2. I think:
A. I am very skilled.
B. I am moderately skilled.
C. I have no skills.
3. If I were team leader I would:
A. Make fewer mistakes than I do now.
B. Make more mistakes than I do now.
C. Make the same number of mistakes.
4. If offered a position in a secret society
I would:
A. Accept the position and renounce my
current secret society.
B. Decline and remain in my current secret
society.
C. Start my own secret society.
5. The team leader should:
A. Solicit advice from team members
even though they may be Commie Mutant
Traitors.
B. Make all decisions on his own.
C. Hesitate when faced with a decision.
6. The hygiene officer is:
A. More important than the team leader.
B. Just as important as the team leader.
C. Less important than the team leader.
If a Troubleshooter team is in constant contact
with The Computer, why does it need a team
leader?

Page2

Spoiler

Show

Loyalty officer
1. If The Computer ordered me to execute a
High Programmer, but the High Programmer
claimed the message was the result of
Commie sabotage, I would:
A. Look for the Commies responsible.
B. Consult The Computer for confirmation.
C. Execute the High Programmer.
2. If a citizen was grumbling about how
dangerous a mission is, I would:
A. Execute him for treason.
B. Refer him to the happiness officer.
C. Record his comments for referral to The
Computer.
3. If an ULTRAVIOLET citizen ordered me
to terminate myself, I would:
A. Terminate the ULTRAVIOLET citizen.
B. Call The Computer.
C. Terminate myself.
4. I think Commies are:
A. Misled.
B. Innately evil.
C. Not worth thinking about.
5. I have traitorous thoughts:
A. Almost never.
B. Occasionally.
C. With alarming frequency.
6. If I saw a Commie escaping down a
corridor of a higher security clearance than
I was, I would:
A. Pursue the Commie.
B. Consult The Computer.
C. Order the Commie to surrender.
Why do you think The Computer assigns
Troubleshooters to boring missions? Does this
promote disloyal behavior? Explain.

Page3

Spoiler

Show

Hygiene officer
1. Which is most important?
A. Clean thoughts.
B. A clean jumpsuit.
C. Clean teeth.
2. If I were a bot, I would be:
A. A docbot.
B. A warbot.
C. A jackobot.
3. An appropriate fine for a citizen who
damages his jumpsuit is:
A. 2 credits.
B. 200 credits.
C. Summary execution by tacnuke.
4. My favorite cleaning agent is:
A . M r . S q u e a k y : S q u e a k y C l e a n
and What a Sheen!
B . B l a s t I t O f f : J u s t O n e S p r a y
Makes Dirt Go Away!
C. Scrape-o-matic: It Works Hard—
So You Don’t Have To!
5. Some citizens classify Commies and
mutants as traitors. I think they are:
A . M r . S q u e a k y : S q u e a k y C l e a n
and What a Sheen!
B . B l a s t I t O f f : J u s t O n e S p r a y
Makes Dirt Go Away!
C. Scrape-o-matic: It Works Hard—
So You Don’t Have To!
6. The hygiene officer is:
A. More important than the team leader.
B. Just as important as the team leader.
C. Less important than the team leader.
Would you pursue a Commie into a filthy,
debris strewn corridor even though it might
damage your jumpsuit? If yes, why would
you intentionally endanger The Computer’s
valuable property? If no, why would you
deliberately let a Commie escape?

Page4

Spoiler

Show

C o m m u n i c a t i o n s a n d
recording officer
1. When interviewing a berserk warbot,
the most important consideration is:
A. Not damaging the multicorder.
B. To ask intelligent questions.
C. Creative camera angles.
2. Actors such as Teela-O-MLY are:
A. Less important than average Alpha Complex
citizens.
B. Just as important as average Alpha Complex
citizens.
C. More important than average Alpha
Complex citizens.
3. If my team were under Commie attack,
I would:
A. Consult The Computer.
B. Help turn back the foul traitors.
C. Look for creative camera angles.
4. If I had my way, I would:
A. Watch more vidshows.
B. Continue to watch the same number of
vidshows.
C. Read a book.
5. If I were multicording a traitor’s confession,
I would:
A. Activate the aura light-sensor.
B. Use a wide-angle lens.
C. Shoot him in the head.
6. If The Computer called during a dangerous
situation, I would:
A. Step back and talk to The Computer.
B. Not answer The Computer.
C. Put The Computer on hold until the situation
is resolved, then explain what happened.
Is The Computer everywhere? If no, please
list all places The Computer is not. If yes, why
is a communications and recording officer
necessary?

Page5

Spoiler

Show

Equipment guy
1. The equipment guy should call a surprise
inspection:
A. Almost never.
B. In the middle of a battle.
C. With unnerving frequency.
2. If I were a bot, I would be:
A. A docbot.
B. A warbot.
C. A jackobot.
3. The scientists at R&D are:
A. Shining examples of how loyal citizens
should behave.
B. Dangerous and should be watched
closely.
C. Just doing their job.
4. If a laser malfunctions during a mission,
whose fault is it?
A. The supply clerk who issued the
equipment.
B. The Troubleshooter who received the
equipment.
C. The equipment guy.
5. I like bots:
A. A little.
B. A great deal.
C. A lot more than you can possibly imagine.
6. If a Commie bomb needs defusing,
who should do it?
A. The equipment guy.
B. The Troubleshooter with the most
demolitions experience.
C. Whoever draws the short straw.
How valuable are you to The Computer in terms
of credits? How did you arrive at this figure?

Page6

Spoiler

Show

Happiness officer
1. In my opinion, unhappy citizens should:
A. Visit a Bright Vision Re-education Center.
B. Undergo morale adjustment surgery.
C. Take a Happy Pill.
2. Sometimes other citizens get:
A. Very angry.
B. A little angry.
C. So angry it scares me.
3. Happiness is:
A. A warm laser.
B. A state of mind.
C. Mandatory.
4. If the happiness officer is unhappy, he
should:
A. Take a Happy Pill.
B. Tell The Computer.
C. Question his very existence.
5. The best Troubleshooter is a:
A. Happy Troubleshooter.
B. Loyal Troubleshooter.
C. Terminated Troubleshooter.
6. If I am promoted to ULTRAVIOLET
clearance, I will:
A. Be the same citizen I am now.
B. Make everyone around me happy.
C. Be happier than I am now.
Do you think Commies are happy? If not, then
why are they willing to endure termination
rather than stop being Commies?

Page7

Spoiler

Show

Name: _____________________— ___ — ____ — 1 2 3 4 5 6 ___
[assigned name] [clearance] [sector] [circle or write clone number]
Service group:
Service firm:
Secret society:
How do you think this test could be improved? Write your answer here:

Post answers here as follows:
Page number:
1A 2B etc. Unanswered questions should just have the number with no letter.
Question 7 answer.
Then the info from page 7.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY completes the MBD Determination Test 88-9b form with a huge beaming smile on his face. The Gelgernine tablet that he dropped earlier on to ease the trauma of being dragged to the IntSec HQ still effective in maintaining his happiness.

==================================================
Page 1
1A 2A 3C 4 5B 6C
The position of team leader is important as it allows the computer to determine the loyalty of it’s trobleshooters and to see if they are ready for promotion.

Page 2
1C 2B 3C 4B 5 6C
The computer only assigns troubleshooters to missions of extreme importance. I am a happy troubleshooter.

Page 3
1C 2C 3B 4B 5 6C
I would pursue the commie but make sure I cleaned and mended my jumpsuit after I terminated him

Page 4
1A 2C 3B 4 5C 6A
The computer is everywhere. A communications and recording office is necessary because you never know just what traitors, commies and mutants are capable of. The recordings allow the computer to show loyal citizens and troubleshooters how to spot treasonous activity

Page 5
1C 2B 3A 4B 5C 6C
I am worth 73 credits – I remember hearing it on a Teela-O vid that every INFRARED citizen was worth 11 credits and every RED clearance citizen was worth 73 credits. I am extremely pleased that following my recent promotion my value has increased by 62 credits.

Page 6
1C 2C 3C 4C 5A 6B
Commies are not happy because they do not know the Computer as we loyal citizens do. They are willing to endure termination because they have all been drugged.

Page 7
BARGY-R-GEE-1
HPD & Mind Control
The Bouncy Bubbly Channel
What is a secret society?
This test is perfect in every way!
==================================================

After finishing his test he sticks up his hand and looks eagerly at the Yellow clearance officer.

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM morosely fills out the test. He sighs as he answers the last question, expecting that he will wind up assigned as Hygiene Officer.

Page 1: Team Leader

Spoiler

Show

1:c
2:b
3:c
4:
5:A
6:B
The team leader interprets the Computer's orders so that the rest of the team can understand them.

Page 2: Loyalty Officer

Spoiler

Show

1:c
2:b
3:c
4:a
5:
6:c
The Troubleshooters assigned to boring missions by the Computer are being tested. If they suffer and are, they are insubordinate. If they stand firm and do their duty, they have shown some of their worth.

Page 3: Hygiene Officer

Spoiler

Show

1:a
2:b
3:b
4:b
5:
6:b
I would chase after the Commie, risking my own safety and cleanliness. The traitorous Commie may be a high-ranking leader or spy, and if he runs, that means he has a reason to. Any damage to my jumpsuit would likely come under Acceptable Behavior, as unauthorized vandalism or destruction of property of equal or lower clearance is allowed in the line of duty.

Page 4: Communications and Recording Officer

Spoiler

Show

1:b
2:a
3:c
4:b
5:c
6:a
The Computer is not everywhere. The Computer is not:
-In the dens of traitors and secret societies
-In the minds of traitors (literally and figuratively)
-Outside (?)

Page 5: Equipment Guy

Spoiler

Show

1:c
2:b
3:a
4:c
5:c
6:a
In terms of credit value, my worth is average, possibly ~65 credits. I have heard that Red citizens are worth roughly that amount, regardless of skill or performance in their field.

Page 6: Happiness officer

Spoiler

Show

1. c
2. a
3. c
4. c
5. b
6. a
Commies may think they are happy, but in fact fool themselves by thinking this. When they see the happiness of other citizens, they are jealous and are willing to fight to the death to preserve their lies of happiness.

Page Seven

Spoiler

Show

Name: Chester — R —HAM— 1 2 3 4 5 6 _1_
Service Group: Power Services
Service Firm: U-Power
Secret Society:
How do you think this test could be improved? Write your answer here:

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R smiles and uses the pen.

Page 1

Spoiler

Show

1. A
2. A
3. A
4.
5.
6. B
7. The Computer is our Friend. Failure to trust the Computer is treason. The Computer appoints a Team Leader because he trusts them to lead the team. Therefore, the Computer expects the members of the team that are not the Team Leader to follow the Team Leader.

Page 2

Spoiler

Show

1. C
2. C
3. B
4. B
5.
6. C
7. The Computer assigns these missions to observe for signs of Commie mutant disloyalty. Loyal Citizens never consider anything that the Computer does disloyal. The Computer is always loyal to The Computer.

Page 3

Spoiler

Show

1. A
2.
3. B
4. A
5.
6. B
7. I would pursue the Commie. It is not treasonous to commit unauthorized vandalism in the line of duty. Pursuing traitors as ordered by my Friend, the Computer, is in the line of duty. I trust the Computer. The Computer is my Friend.

Page 4
[/SPOILER]
1. A
2. C!
3. C
4. A
5. B
6. A
7. The Computer is everywhere. The communications and recording officer is necessary for recording successful missions and playing them to Loyal Citizens so that Troubleshooters know how to properly conduct themselves. It also turn successful Troubleshooters into vidshow stars like Teela-O!
[/SPOILER]

Page 5

Spoiler

Show

1. C
2.
3. A
4. C
5. B
6. A
7. I am worth 1,000 credits a month. That is what The Computer trusts me with my RED security clearance. If The Computer believes I am worth more, The Computer will promote me. The Computer is always right.

Page 6.

Spoiler

Show

1. C
2. B
3. C
4. A
5.
6. A
7. They are not happy because they are not serving the Computer. They are willing to endure termination because they are traitors. Traitors are unhappy because they do not trust the Computer.

Page 7

Spoiler

Show

Rubiks-R-QUB-1
Production, Logistics, and Commissary
Inventory Systems Updaters
Secret Society:
How could this test be improved?

[Aergoth]

Eric fills out the test in silence, mouthing some words and reading with his finger. He does not know where the Computer will put him.

Spoiler

Show

Page1
1C
2B
3C
4
5B
6A
While friend computer is not fallible, we are. A team leader is there to take the blame for any failures.

Spoiler

Show

Page 2
1C
2B
3C
4B
5A
5B
The Computer is beyond question. No one can be disloyal to the computer without being a commie mutant traitor!

Spoiler

Show

Page 3
1B
2A
3C
4A
5B
6B
No. A communist can be referred to friend computer for summary execution, but missions can be made to fail because of poor hygiene.

Spoiler

Show

Page 4
1C
2C
3C
4A
5B
6A
The Computer has more important tasks than those given the communications officers. After all the Computer makes us safe!

Spoiler

Show

Page 5
1C
2C
3A
4B
5C
6C
I am only as valuable as the computer thinks I am. I am not Friend Computer since Friend Computer knows more than me.

Spoiler

Show

Page 6
1B
2C
3A
4A
5C
6C
How can anyone be happy if they are not loyal to friend computer? Commies are diseased and unclean and so cannot understand Friend Computer. They cannot be Happy. Happiness is mandatory!

Spoiler

Show

Page 7
Name:Eric—R—TAT—1
Service group: Central Processing Unit
Service firm: Eye-On-U
Secret society:
How do you think this test could be improved? Write your answer here: This test cannot be improved. Friend Computer cannot have errors.

[Jokes]

Page 1:

Spoiler

Show

1b
2b
3c
5-
6a
We don't need Team Leaders, Friend Computer is our Team Leader!

Page 2:

Spoiler

Show

1b
2b
3b
4a
5b
6c
All missions are exciting!

Page 3:

Spoiler

Show

1b
2a
3b
4a
5b
6a
No, the commie can be killed later, but a ruined jumpsuit is forever.

Page 4:

Spoiler

Show

1b
2b
3b
4c
5a
6a
Yes, Friend computer is everywhere! Communications officer is needed to remind us that Friend Computer is never far away.

Page 5:

Spoiler

Show

1a
2a
3a
4a
5a
6a
Refer to back of sheet. [on the back are some very detailed maths and equations, noting things like income:performance ratios, economy and consumer graphs] Total is $3403cr.

Page 6:

Spoiler

Show

1c
2b
3c
4a
5a
6b
They don't listen to Friend Computer, how can they be happy? They do it to make the rest of us unhappy, because they are so unhappy.

Page 7:

Spoiler

Show

Name: Izzy—R—DOC — 1 2 3 4 5 6 _1__
[assigned name] [clearance] [sector] [circle or write clone number]
Service group: Central Processing Unit
Service firm: Form-Facilitators
Secret society: The not-so-secret Friend Computer Fan Club!
How do you think this test could be improved? Write your answer here: More questions about how fun and great Friend Computer is!

Izzy puts down the paper and pen, smiling at the laser aimed at his head.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

Page 1

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 2

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 3

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 4

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 5

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 6

Spoiler

Show

1
2
3
4
5
6

Page 7

Spoiler

Show

Bob-R-BOB-1
Research & Design
Handle with C*

Bob-R-Bob-1 carefully reads through every question before answering the test. He knows that you can’t be too careful and accidently give a wrong answer. As he is about to begin the test, he remembers an old mantra about always writing your name first. He carefully writes his name and group. As he writes his firm, the plasti-cord catches and he snaps the ballpoint of the pen off leaving a large smudge . . .

[Evil DM Mark3]

After the forms are collected in and marked a pair of men on GREEN labcoats trundle out a large table. The examiner begins to speak.

"Before we begin BARGY-R-GEE-1 and Chester-R-HAM-1 have both provided answers that indicate excessive levels of aggression. To this end your Happiness officer will be required to ensure that this aggression does not impinge on morale. Izzy-R-DOC-1, you have been fined 200cr for inappropriate levity on computer forms. Roles have been assigned as follows.

• Bob-R-BOB-1, you have been nominated Team Leader. Congratulations! Your friend the Computer was so moved by your testimonies that you have been given an official commendation and 20credits! You are handed a painful looking ear clip CompuComp link and a Hat with a set of red and white concentric circles on the front, the traditional insignia of the Team Leader.
• Chester-R-HAM-1, you have been given the duty of Team Loyalty officer. You are handed the Loyalty officer badge, keyhole shaped with a Computer terminal in it and bearing the legend "Everyone is guilty of something" and an ILTR Mark II.
• Bargy-R-GEE-1, you have been given the superlative honour of being Team Hygiene officer. You are handed an octagonal badge with the legendary Scrubbing Helmet, Moustache a quiver, on it as well as a full Emergency Hygiene Restoration Kit with PHT skin core sampler.
• Eric-R-TAT-1, you are the Team's Communications and Recording officer. You are handed a star shaped badge with a vid-corder on it, the vid-corder suite (vid-corder in the right hand, boom mike in the left hand, lighting hat on the head) and a long range coms terminal (a backpack).
• Rubiks-R-QUB-1, you are the Team's Equipment Guy. You are handed a round badge with a highly muscular Troubleshooter with a non-regulation large hammer bearing the motto "Maintenance is Job #1 and Pippybot diagnostic and tool kit." Hey there! Remember that you must hold Random Equipment Checks at regular intervals, failure to do so is treasonable.
• Izzy-R-DOC-1, you are the Team's happiness officer. You are handed a hexagonal badge with a smiley face on it and a bag containing a large quantity of medications.

Note, all ticks are unique, 5 perversity each per tick.

Team leader! You must now discuss with your team and assign, oh excuse me the restraints withdraw, the lasers remain., as I was saying you must assign the following equipment.

The GREEN tech guys open the table to reveal the following.

1. 8 Mark III laser barrels (Red)
2. 10 grenades, 4 in an area labelled standard, 5 in an area labelled special and one labelled Experimental, this one has usage instructions.
3. A device labelled as a D gun.
4. A MarkI Escape enhancing kit.
5. A Sonic Rifle.

All equipment has the appropriate clearance wavers.

Once you have finished you will be given your mission profile.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Bargy smiled serenely as he pinned his badge to his jump suit. "Hmm they can spot my anger even through the Gelgernine haze. Imagine if I took that test without the drugs", he thought to himself. Even the GREEN labcoat wearing techies didn't raise his ire. "Man, I love the computer"

"I am pleased to serve friend Computer as the Mission's hygeine officer" he expounded. After All, cleanliness is next to Computer-liness! I will proudly ensure that every troubleshooter maintains high standards of hygeine and that their every orifice is inspected regularly for foreign objects. Nobody could be more pleased at their assignment than I am" he beamed.

Bargy just hoped the drugs would last long enough so that he could maintain these extreme levels of happiness. To pass the time he started investigating the myriad functions of the "Emergency Hygiene Restoration Kit with PHT skin core sampler" while waiting for the team leader to assign the equipment.

GM eyes only:

Spoiler

Show

random spoiler to heighten paranoia

If that doesn't work

Spoiler

Show

another random spoiler. This should get them thinking

and finally

Spoiler

Show

nice here isn't it

[Evil DM Mark3]

Whilst it is acceptable to post GM only info in the thread, PMs are more secure. Of course I am sure that no one would want to violate point 9 of the Treason list by opening them.

[Evil DM Mark3]

The Emergency Hygiene Restoration Kit with PHT skin core sampler contains the following:

1. 2 cans instant clean-o-spray
2. 4 Scrub-A-DUB pills (For severe emergancies)
3. 32 different brushes.
4. 1 tube toothpaste
5. 1 tube earpaste
6. 1 tube nosepaste
7. 1 tube otherpaste
8. 200m Dental floss.
9. A can of EMERGENCY MAXIMUM POWER FILTH REMOVAL (For external use only, avoid contact with INFORMATION WITHHELD)
10. One tub Bot cleanser, with applicator.
11. The PHT. Simply apply to arm or leg (or torso or head if arms and legs not available) set depth between 5 and 100 and allow the high precision needle to remove a core of the subject's skin for analysis.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

"I am honored to serve you friend computer and I can assure you that I will ensure all objectives are, hey a sonic rifle! I saw that in a vid the other day. Neat."

He considers the items carefully and says

"We will each take one barrel, equipment guy hold onto the reserves. I will take a standard grenade and two special, the loyalty officer will take a standard and the experimental, everyone else take a special. Equipment guy hold the rest. Happiness guy take the D-Gun, and I will take the rifle and the MarkI escape enhancing kit."

[Evil DM Mark3]

Remember citizen-Equipment Guy that the Experimental Grenade and D gun must be tested before the end of the mission. Before you leave this room movement order should be determined citizen-team leader. Citizen-Communications and Recording Officer you must provide a 100% complete record!

All Officers will confirm undertanding before begining the mission.

Failure to comply is treason.

[Sicarius]

"I understand. All experimental weaponry will be tested. I am happy to test the Experimental Grenade and the D-Gun. I am happy to be of service to the Computer. I confirm my understanding, Friend Computer$".

[Evil DM Mark3]

Hey guy, equipment guy, down here! Looking forward to working with you!

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1


"Movement order . . . uhhhh yeah, I know exactly what that is and will have no problem deciding. Lets see . . .

1. Chester-R-HAM-1 - Lead us through loyalty
2. Izzy-R-DOC-1 - HAPPY
3. Rubiks-R-QUB-1
4. Bargy-R-GEE-1
5. Bob-R-BOB-1
6. Eric-R-TAT-1

That should do it!" As Bob-R-BOB-1 determines the order he points to each person (with the special grenade he's holding) and as he finishes up he plants his hands on his hip and tries to strike a leadery pose . . . but only succeeds in dropping the grenade. He gasps as it hits the floor, bounces slightly and lays there.

[Evil DM Mark3]

One of the BLUE guards, who seemed to be doing counting in his head for a bit says.

Here, if you take two specials and the loyalty guy get the experimental there are only 3 left, so the other four can have one each.

One of the tech guys picks up the grenade.50 credit fine for inappropriate use of Computer Equipment, don't panic though, these only have a 7% percussion detonation rate.

[Jokes]

Izzy Happiness Officer

Izzy takes the smiley face badge and pins it to his heart. He then takes the barrel, a special grenade and the D-gun and set them on the table in front of him, looking at the Team Leader for confirmation of his equipment.

"I understand, I look forward to testing this, thing..." He looks over the D-gun. "What is it's intended purpose? I hope it makes people happy."