Helping IntSec with their inquieries.

[BornAgainGamer]

"she holds her hands up" - hands - plural?

Sorry GM couldn't resist

[BornAgainGamer]

Beat me to it - much kudos

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM

Chester-R-HAM contacts the Computer via his PDC.

"Friend Computer, this is Loyalty Officer Chester-R-HAM. Citizen Bargy-R-GEE is displaying highly destructive mutant powers and appears to be a Commie sympathizer. He dazed 2 troubleshooters and melted another, who was carrying experimental weaponry. Should I terminate?"

When Bargy charges Rubiks, Chester draws his pistol and fires, being the only troubleshooter not paralyzed, dismembered, or simmering...until Rubiks calls for an equipment check. Bargy, being a traitor, probably would not comply, but if he were to continue firing at Bargy, he would be declared a traitor. He mutters to himself, "Be a traitor, or let her die. Could be worse." He keeps hiis grip on his weapon.

Energy Weapons-(1d20)[7]
3 perversity for aim.
3 perversity to make Bargy miss.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Chester-R-HAM-1 fires accurately, striking BARGY-R-GEE-1 left leg off at the knee just as the latter sliced off Rubiks-R-QUB-1's other arm. Chester's laser barrel looses one light.

Just at that moment a BLUE trooper burst out of the IntSec building (you know, the one you are outside) shouting "DIE MUTANT!" and discharges a BLUE rifle blast, removing Bargy's head. "The rest of you, get GOING!"

BARGY-R-GEE-1 is dead. No talking!

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Right away!" Rubiks-R stifles the scream lest she be thought of as treasonously unhappy. The drugs had a remarkable effect on her tolerance to pain. Kneeling down, Rubiks-R picks up her arm with her teeth, hoping that the docbots can reattach it.

I should find out if Izzy-R-DOC-1 is ok. Rubiks-R then sighs because she can't use her PDC.

"Mmph ur mmph." Rubiks-R gestures the other Troubleshooters over with arm in mouth with her arm nubs.

[Aergoth]

Friend Computer, request permission to have Chester-R-HAM-1 terminate Rubiks. Troubleshooter Rubiks-R-QUB-1 is incapacitated due to lacking both arms, and is ruining group hygiene. Immediate termination may solve both problems. In addition, team leader is ooze and the happiness officer is dead, and the hygiene officer was a mutant. Request permission to appropriate their equipment for later return to Computer, as waste is bad. Records of all incidents are on file with IntSec, as per normal.
Eric finishes his message and aims the camera at Chester. "Chester-R-HAM-1. We may need to terminate Rubiks. Her incessant bleeding is ruining the group's hygiene and we need to proceed. I have requested permission for you to do so. I will now drag myself to the transtube. Because lateness is bad.}

[Evil DM Mark3]

PCs are now unsnafud.

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM

Chester listens to Eric's suggestion. Worried, he replies, "I'm not sure that's wise. Hygiene is supposed to be determined by the Hygiene Officer, who in fact caused her poor hygiene in the first place. We cannot officially determine if her hygiene is poor. I suggest termination only if her hygiene cannot be improved in the foreseeable future." "Besides," he continues, "she's suffered enough in the past few minutes. And her bleeding stumps go well with her jumpsuit." Chester breaks away from Eric. "I will join you on the transtube in one minute, I wish to pay respect to our fallen partner."

Chester walks over to the sizzling pile of Izzy sludge, and bows his head. "Goodbye, friend. You died fighting a traitor, he most noble death there is. You were there for us when we needed you, and although you failed in your duty, we are grateful for your efforts. In fact, without your presence, I feel a little empty." Chester kneels, sniffling slightly. "Goodbye, d-gun. *sniff* We hardly knew ye."

Rising to his feet, Chester wipes the tears from his eyes and walks towards the transtube. This kind of thing always happens to me.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Mrank mou." Rubiks-R eyes Eric-R warily, knowing that anyone willing to terminate a loyal Citizen was a traitor. The Computer would hear of it. Once she got her arms back. If she could get her arms back.

Her shoes were sad without her arms. How would they be TIED?! She rubs her shoes together in an attempt to console the poor shoes, who had experienced their last tie before they could truly appreciate it.

Don't worry Left-R and Right-R. Maybe the DocBot will get me some new arms, or reattach the one I have." Her mouth tasted like bad Troubleshooter. She thought she could taste her last REDiMeal even though that was impossible.

[Evil DM Mark3]

You board the Transtube and when you arrive at your destination. When you arrive you see a doc bot with metal arm tray, Izzy-R-Doc, Bargy-R-GEE and one other troubleshooter.This is your new team leader. Give him all the previous team leader's gear. You have been allotted an additional 2/3 hours for this mission. Rubiks-R-QUB-1 please seek assistance from the Docbot provided, all costs will be deducted from your account.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Rubiks-R goes to the docbot and deposits her forearm with her mouth. She then proceeds to let the DocBot work it's magic. I would be incredibly happy with arms. She silently wishes.

[Evil DM Mark3]

The Docbot works its magic and cauterises the wounds, grafts new cybernetic arms on and administers a local anaesthetic.

In that order.

Your arms have pre-programmed modules and have granted you a specialisation in Unarmed fighting and Mechanical engineering.

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND

Standing near the DocBot is a rather non-descript clone (but I repeat myself) of the male gender. He obviously has already been assigned his Red Reflec Armor and is rather nervously looking around in the distance, bobbing his head and moving his lips. It almost sounds like he is saying a random string of numbers. Seeing the transtube arrive his attentions refocus on the group. "Good travelling fellow troubleshooters!?" It sounded like a question, but not waiting for a response he continues. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and yes, myself 6. Good. All troubleshooters now accounted for."

Barking out in a weak facsimile of Teela-O as the Green Troubleshooting Instructor in "Full Reflec Armor" he screams "Fall in troubleshooters!" He grimaces waiting for anyone to comply, and softly continues. "Yes, yes. Very good. Nice and orderly as our Friend likes. Good, good." Seeing the DocBot finish with Rubiks-R he lets out a deep sigh. And finally. 12 arms accounted for."

One more screech. "Equipment Guy!"
Grimace. "Where is said equipment that Friend Computer has benevolently reassigned?"

Ticks:
1) Loves to count. Anything that he can.
2) Wants to wear glasses, even though they are not necessary for clones.
3) Black is his favorite color. It compliments his pale complexion.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Rubiks-R screams in pain with the cauterization, but fortunately the incredibly large burns she receives makes her not notice the incredibly painful cybernetic surgery.

"I am...very incredibly happy with my new arms! Thank you, friend Computer." She states after another forcing a Happy Pill down. "I am so happy!"

Then, noticing her new team leader, Rubiks-R hands the former team leader's satchel containing his assigned munitions as well as the MESpecial. "Here's everything assigned to the Team Leader. All of his personal equipment, of course, is being recovered by the appropriate team."

She immediately goes and gives her sneakers a loving super-tight tying. "See Left-R? Look at you, tied up tight and ready to carry the team to absolute, complete mission success." She strokes the tongue of her RED-clearance sneakers with the black stripes.

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

"Well done Equipment..... Guy? Did you know that your new arms came with all 10 fingers? Oh..... nice sneakers." Count-R wiggles his feet around in his Black sneakers with Red stripes. "That makes 24 stripes on our four sneakers. How wonderful!" Count-R puts on his spiffy new hat and pockets the MESPECIAL card randomly muttering "... and 2 circles ..."

"Let's see...." Count-R taps at his PDC. "We now know all about the team Hygiene..."
Screech: "Loyalty Officer! Treason Report!"

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Bargy was confused. Who was this new team leader? What did he mean "we know all about the team hygiene"? He was the hygiene officer and he could only remember testing three of his fellow troubleshooters. Bargy was also confused because he smelt and felt wonderful. The clone activiation process was "to die for". He now felt as fresh as a synthi-daisy.

Bargy decided he had better keep all this confusion to himself. He offered a brief troubleshooter's salute towards Count-R-MND-1, his new team leader, and beamed a large grin, "Bargy-R-GEE-2, ready to serve the team and friend computer!"

'2', hmmm that must mean his clone-mate BARGY-R-GEE-1 was gone - I wonder what he did?

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

"It's a pleasure to be working with you, sir." Izzy falls in and salutes, doing his best to make Dr Puppet do the same. "Happiness officer reporting. Don't worry, Dr P and I are professionals."

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

"Oh, yes, a pleasure fellow citizen and work.... er, I mean, troubleshooter. And wait, our crew is seven now?" Count-R looks directly at Dr. Puppet and starts tapping on his PDC. "It will be a pleasure to work with a highly trained professional Doctor, but this is all very non-standard. Seven troubleshooters, 12 feet, 13 hands.... no, make that 11 hands and 2 cybernetically enhanced hands, and 1 mute Loyalty Officer. Hmmm.... we may need to request a tongue transplant..."

A flash of insight distracts Count-R from completing his tongue requisition. "Oh, oh! We get to do something fun now! Well at least I get to do something fun. I get to make a decision. The marching order. There is so much to consider... height, weight, stride length, arch support... hmmm..." Count-R taps his fingers on his chin trying to look pensive. "Let's try this." Count-R starts grabbing arms and rearranging everyone.
"Comms & Recording Officer...
Happiness Officer... oh, and of course Dr. Puppet...
Loyalty Officer...
Team Leader... oh, yeah, that's me...
Equipment Guy...
and Hygiene Officer."

[Aergoth]

Eric R TAT

"Can't get good shots of firefights if I'm in the way of the fire..." Eric mutters after being stuck at the head of the line.

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM

Chester manages to tear his sparkling eyes away from Rubiks' new metal limbs. When he meets the eyes of the new Team Leader, he looks as though someone just told him Gift Day was canceled.

"Hello, new leader. Loyalty officer reporting. It seems that the original Hygiene Officer, Bargy-R-GEE-1, was a mutant. He has a strange allergic reaction to Bouncy Bubbly Beverage, and melted Izzy-R-DOC-1 using some kind of mutant powers. The puddle is probably cleaned up by now. On a lesser note, the former Team Leader melted on contact with the Cleans-O-Spray. Whether or not that was the intended effect of the product, I have no idea. I hope you fair better than our previous leader."

Upon hearing Count-R-MND's new group order, Chester lets out a sigh of relief. "At least something's gone right today. The first team leader put me in the front." He begins muttering, ...I'm an engineer...shouldn't have to...barely know how...just my luck.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

"He did?" Izzy looks a bit confused. "No, I don't think so. I remember firing the D-Gun, then I remember being here. I'm sure I am still Izzy-R-DOC-1." He pulls out the melted remains of the D-Gun. "I'm afraid whatever Bargy did melted the D-gun before it melted me. I took a look at the remains, I think when the blast hit the Flux Capacitors, the atomic destabilisers triggered a miniature event horizon and blasted me through space-time to, well, just over there." He points to a pile of boxes. "I must say, I am very happy not to be a pile of goo... Wait, did you say team leader was a pile of goo?" He holds up his hand, with the dried remains of was-Bob on his fingertips. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he drops to the floor unconscious.

[Aergoth]

"I believe that qualifies as unhappy. Unhappy hapiness officer, HA!"
Eric films the fainting spell and goes over to kick Izzy.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Bargy dutifully joins the line behind Rubiks, the Equipment Gal. While waiting for the line to fully form he takes the time to check through all the equipment he has been provided. While running through the kit specially assigned to him in his role as hygiene officer, he spots the can of EMERGENCY MAXIMUM POWER FILTH REMOVAL and pulls it out of the bag. Shaking it vigorously he calls out to the rest of the team, "Hey, anyone know what this does?" While waiting for a response he does mock target practice using the can's nozzle as a sight.

[Jokes]

Izzy

The kick slowly rouses Izzy and a few seconds after coming to he starts wiping his hand furiously with a Lemonie towelette. Convinced that any trace of was-Bob is gone, he slowly rises and falls in line behind the communications officer, whether the there is a line to stand in or not.

Dr Puppet shakes his head sadly.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"I am very happy that Izzy-R-DOC-1 did not get melted by a mutant. The former team leader was melted by improper use of the Maximum Filth Removal spray." Rubiks-R exhorts, keeping a close eye on Bargy-R. "It is not for use on Troubleshooters lacking in hygiene." She cautions.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

"Ahhhhhh," exclaimed Bargy. He nearly drops the can of EMERGENCY MAXIMUM POWER FILTH REMOVAL in his haste to put it away. Hmmm, he thought to himself. Best save that one for special occasions.

Bargy continued, "No harm done. Hygiene officer ready for continuance of mission, team leader, sir!"

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

"Excellent. One mission objective completed, the D-Gun has been tested. Dr. Puppet, don't forget to help Izzy-R record the results of that test. Now, Chester-R, to the PLC office!" Count-R points his finger forward, at a slightly upward angle, and starts marching in place, happily counting each step.

[Evil DM Mark3]

On the inside of the main doors you see a massive directory listing.

• Main Inquieries:22897-b
• Specialist Inquiries:44494-f
• Postal and Dispatch:101666-x
• IntSec special officer: CLASSIFIED
• Inter departmental officer :-100-d
• Happyness inquires :-)
• Treason registration :000192-z
• Pocket protector refirbishing centeral 99-18bdf9 :99345-l
• Teela-O fan processing 44620-y
• Cross Inquiry Inquires :99243-s
• Outword bound department:99447-r
• Heliomax 6:2346459-d
• Electric protocalls:5614745-y
• Letter inspection:8126532-u
• Pattern removal:157934-a
• Automated Freds:834123-g
• Mass document non-retreivable storage:2512563-c
• Totalisers:230327-k
• Ropeing merchantile:119432-e
• Autosynthetics:1563491-b
• Poilred Spugs:5840234-x
• Electric nose station X:
• Dual research:3632657-d
• Investment Initials:1234412-r
• Nocturnal electro-inquiry:4532175-f
• Secret Society HQ:3263264-g
• Initial Investments:1234412-r
• Goal Reassessment:712094-d
• New Inquiries:gadsgne-5
• Power services:1254389-b
• Lower files:2547527-r
• Assimilated files:3462089-d
• Null documents:4378346-s
• Total Rubbish Plant:3451238-m

And so on.

[Evil DM Mark3]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Bargy dutifully joins the line behind Rubiks, the Equipment Gal. While waiting for the line to fully form he takes the time to check through all the equipment he has been provided. While running through the kit specially assigned to him in his role as hygiene officer, he spots the can of EMERGENCY MAXIMUM POWER FILTH REMOVAL and pulls it out of the bag. Shaking it vigorously he calls out to the rest of the team, "Hey, anyone know what this does?" While waiting for a response he does mock target practice using the can's nozzle as a sight.

Oh and 3 perveristy for this.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Rubiks-R stares at the massive directory. Her eyes go as wide as ColdFun dishes. She starts to look around for an employee to help her out. Nobody she recognizes from the PLC Mandatory Social Network, which isn't very helpful. So, she goes to a functionary, and cordially leans over and asks him a simple question.

"How's business?"