Helping IntSec with their inquieries.

[Evil DM Mark3]

"Not bad, how may I direct you? I am required by Computer dictate 7761b-jjh87d-9 to inform you that as troubleshooters you have priority access to information terminals and information services."

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Great! Dictate 7761b-jjh87d-9 makes me so happy. We're looking for our assigned equipment. Our team leader is Count-R."

Rubiks-R smiled widely. It was nice when things went well.

[Evil DM Mark3]

"Equipment is assigned at briefing."

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Thank you, Citizen. You have passed the standardized intelligence test. Now, you must direct us to the location of..." Rubiks-R trails off for a second, checking her PDC. "I'm sorry, that information is not available at your security clearance."

[Evil DM Mark3]

"May I suggest you try Main Inquiries:22897-b?"

[BornAgainGamer]

Bargy whispers into his PDC, "Friend Computer. Fellow troubleshooter Rubiks-R-QUB-1 seems to be having problems with her memory. Request advice."

Out loud to the group, "Aren't we supposed to be tracking down a parcel. I suggest, honorable team leader, that 'Postal and Dispatch:101666-x' might be a good place to start."

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

Count-R responds in a clandestine voice, "Bargy-R, I see what you mean. The Postal and Dispatch is the last place that they'd expect us look... packages are never actually kept there." Count-R looks at the functionary and asks, "Citizen, what level are we on?"

[Evil DM Mark3]

"You are on floor 000, section 0, room 0-a"

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

"Hmmm... so Postal and Dispatch is on Level 101?"

[Evil DM Mark3]

"Floor 101, section 6, room 66-x"

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

Count-R continues to search the directory with his eyes, mumbling several things to himself. "Excellent. We have been instructed to begin our search in Sector 9, Level 3. Considering we are in Sector 9, fellow citizen, does this building have any levels?"

Spoiler

Show

I would also like to apply my Data Analysis and Data Search skills to the directory to find our possible desitination.
Data Analysis: (1d20)[5]
Perversity spent: 0
Data Search: (1d20)[15]
Perversity spent: 0

[Evil DM Mark3]

"You are in Sector 9 and level 3 of the complex. All directory signs are for rooms in this building."

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

Count-R glances about furtively and leans over to Rubiks-R. "You're right. This citizen is very well prepared."

"Well done citizen. Loyalty Officer, make sure to note that there is no treasonous activity discovered here. Let's invert our marching order and move on. Take us to the Parcel and Dispatch Bargy-R."

[Reptilius]

Chester

Following the Team Leader's orders. Chester takes notes on his surroundings, especially on the efficiency of the staff and the local architecture.

"Excuse me, Team Leader, but if the rest of us could line up with this citizen...It would greatly aid my documentation." He gestures with his camera.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Bargy smiled with glee. "Thank you team leader sir for putting your faith in me. I won't let you down." He pulled himself up to his full height, shoulders back, chest puffed out.

He called out, "Come on fellow troubleshooters and trusted servants of friend Computer. Walk this way." He marched off setting a stiff pace, heading towards level 101. About five steps into the march, Bargy realised he hadn't a clue which way to go. Without stopping he scanned the area for an obvious means of getting to a different level within the building.

To hide his seeming incompetence Bargy created a diversion. "Heh, Mr Loyalty Officer, how about a nice marching song to accompany our little journey, something that allows us to demonstrate our continuing joy at being able to serve friend Computer as loyal troubleshooters". Something to take their minds off of the fact that we'll be marching round in circles, he thought.

[Evil DM Mark3]

You find both a RED clearance lift and INFRARED clearance stairs.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Disappointed at the lack of support from the team loyalty officer, Bargy pens his own little ditty and sings out loud as he marches towards the RED clearance lift. {to the tune of the Conga}

"We love Friend Computer! We love Friend Computer! Oh yes we do! Oh yes we do!"

[Nomad5]

Count-R-MND-1

Is Bargy-R trying to become the loyalty officer? I don't think this song is going to cut it. Making a small circle with his index fingers and thumbs, Count-R cups his around his eyes. Ahhh.... much better. "Oh, look, stairs! I love stairs! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5....." Count-R trails off counting stair steps in his head.

[Jokes]

Izzy

Izzy joins the conga line, singing along happily.

[Aergoth]

Eric tries to conga without hands, but fails, and so stows the boom mike in his backpack.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Rubiks-R, being incredibly confused with what Bargy and Izzy are doing, stays off to the side, instead checking every piece of equipment she has with her new cybernetic and incredibly super arms.

[Evil DM Mark3]

You going in the lift or the stairs?

[BornAgainGamer]

Well, Bargy thinks, I was appointed to the front of the line by the team leader.Bargy takes his point person responsibilities very seriously so he continues the march right up to the lift doors and enters the lift looking for obvious buttons labelled "101".

[Evil DM Mark3]

There are no labels on the thousands of tiny buttons.

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM

Chester chimes in with a helpful, "Remember, Bargy, pushing the wrong button is a treasonous offense and demands immediate execution."

[Aergoth]

Eric-R-TAT
"Should we then take the stairs?"

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-2

Bargy closes his eyes and while reciting under his breath,

"There's no place like Postal and Dispatch, there's no place like Postal and Dispatch"

, he clicks the heels of his Plastiboots together and presses a button at random.

Spoiler

Show

all my perversity points on this one

[Evil DM Mark3]

The lift doors close and take the group up. Then the lights go out. A voice can be heard.

Please remain calm. There has been a failure. Directive 5589 requires that you not use light scources in spaces this enclosed. Please wait.

[BornAgainGamer]

Bargy waits, obediently.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

As the lights go out, a small whimper can be heard in the corner of the elevator. "Oh Friend Computer, we are all going to die!" Dr. Puppet begins 'running' around, panicky, and slams it's little fist against the wall. "It's hopeless..."

Izzy slaps the little puppets face. "Snap out of it soldier, Friend Computer has everything under control. One more outburst like that and Loyalty Officer will reprimand you!"