Shippingitp IV: Flattery Will Get You EVERYWHERE

[Player_Zero]

Something kinky? Why you knave!

Funny though.

[ghost_warlock]

Ashes (IStLY fic)
dallas-dakota/ghost_warlock (Dragonrider, TwoBitWriter, & Zar Peter mentioned)

Spoiler

Show

5

Dallas sat in the dark, picking the ashes of his dying fire. In the distance, he could just make out Tsar Peter's palace

4

Several days of travel, alone, in the cold weather had left their mark on his spirits and his gear. Most of all, on his hopes of ever seeing Dragonrider again.

3

He took from his pack a letter she had given him, to take with him. It was much too dark to read her words but he'd memorized them so, in his mind's-eye, he could see her gentle-yet-firm script on the crinkled paper just the same.

2

He pressed the letter to his lips, wondering if this would be the best he could expect for a kiss goodbye. Though now faint, he could still barely smell her perfume on the letter.

1

He cast a glance at the palace, wondering if it was time to finally get on with things and try to sneak in to accomplish his task her; one that would likely fail and result in his death. He began to fold the letter back up.

0

With a blood-curdling scream, a man suddenly emerged from almost-dead fire. He fell on his hands and knees, steam and smoke rising off his body.

Terrified at the man's abrupt appearance, Dallas shouted and fell backwards. Cursing himself for dropping Dragonrider's letter in the snow, he reached for one of his swords; hoping he'd be at least capable of defending himself if the man attacked.

But the attack didn't come. The man continued to kneel and cough, gasping for breaths between.

"I wasn't told," the man choked, "when I learned that trick, that it would hurt so much."

"Who...?" Dallas gaped, jumping to his feet.

"But, then, perhaps a burning building wasn't," the man coughed again, "the site my teachers had in mind when we discussed discorporation. Seemed about as good a location as any, though, I'd think. On account of the flames, you see."

Dallas, pointed one of his swords at the strange man. "Tell me who you are and what you're doing here, or..."

"Oh, shut your mouth. I'll tell you what I'm going to tell you when I'm good and ready," the man shook his head, took a deep breath, and sighed. "Nobody has any manners, these days. Help me up, will you?"

Dallas' first impulse was to comply and he started to reach out to the man, but then hesitated. Something about the man told him not to get too close, that asking for help was nothing more than a ruse to get him to drop his guard.

The man grinned up at him and laughed. "Clever lad, aren't you? That's good. I could have disarmed you and snapped your neck in a second. However, I mean you no harm. Mind if I stand up, get comfortable? This has not been a good day for me," the man considered, "You either, I'd say. You're a long way from home, kid. Use some company for a while?"

Dallas sighed and stepped back, sheathing his sword. "Whatever." He began searching the snow for Dragonrider's letter.

The man stood and turned his head oddly, his neck popping. "What're you looking for?"

"A letter. I dropped it when you...surprised me."

"Oh, sorry about that. I didn't have much choice in the matter, to be honest. Otherwise, I would've picked a more private spot. So, this letter?"

"From my..." he hesitated, not exactly sure what to consider his relationship with her; or even why he was answering this man's questions to begin with!

The man laughed. "Let me guess, it's complicated. Usually is. Need some help?"

"No, I got it," Dallas picked the letter up out of the snow, frowning. By the fire's light, though, he could tell the letter hadn't been badly damaged by the snow: it was too cold. He finished folding the letter and stuffed it into a pocket on the inside of his coat.

"So, we've got a Byzantine boy way up here in Bulgaria; well-armed and carrying a letter from his sweetheart for courage. What's your game, boy?"

Dallas began drawing a sword again.

The man pointed at Dallas' campfire and a ray of flame erupted from his fingertip. The flames flared to life for a few moments before dying down again. "If I wanted to fight, I would've started a while ago. Ease up, I'm just making conversation."

"My mission is my own, and none of your business, then." Dallas said.

"Son, you're an Byzantine soldier in my homeland. Everything you do here is my business. For the most part, I couldn't care less about your mission, but I have to feel secure about the safety of the people I care about. Now, tell me what you're up to or I'll be sure to have every guard within ten miles on their way here within moments."

Dallas sighed. The man was probably bluffing but, at this point, there didn't see much of a point in taking the chance. "I have been sent by my Empress to set free a man Tsar Peter has locked in his dungeons. A soothsayer of some sort."

"You mean TwoBitWriter?" the man laughed. "So Peter finally tossed that charlatan down in the slam, did he? About time!"

"You know of him?"

"Oh, yes. He served for a time under...the previous Tsar. Never took much stock in his 'prophecies,' much to vague for the tastes of the time, I fear. When war's afoot generals prefer succint and useful divinations, not the hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo TwoBit spouts. Honestly, so far as I'm concerned, if Curly wants him she can have his worthless behind."

"Um, thank you?" Dallas said.

"So, you're planning on breaking into the palace and smuggling him out. Any ideas on how you're going to do that?"

"I've got a couple, been working on it."

"Right. Well, I'm sure you're better at that sort of thing than most. From your outfit and gear, I'd say you're some sort of sneak or assassin. Swordsage, maybe? Meh."

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, measuring each other up.

"Well, just as well. You have a name, kid?" the man asked.

"Dallas-dakota. You?"

"I'm known as the Ghost Warlock. Out of curiosity, what's your lady-friend's name? Or, boyfriend if that's your pleasure. Makes no difference to me."

"Her name is Dragonrider. She is my Empress' most skilled general and a great beauty. Her curls are..."

Ghost interrupted him. "Oh, yeah? About this tall?" Ghost indicated with a hand, "I don't suppose you last saw her in Edirne, or thereabouts?"

"Adrianople," Dallas muttered, a bit taken aback. "But..."

Ghost interrupted again. "I think we've met. Nice girl, I guess, not as skilled with a sword as she thinks she is. Not that she's a pushover, just that..."

Dallas had his swords drawn faster than he would've normally thought possible. Pointing the blades at Ghost, he growled. "What do you mean by this, tell me quickly, or..." Dallas trailed off.

Ghost held his hands up, as if surrendering. "Woah, there! Relax! She's alive, fine for the most part. I sent a message with her back to Curly. I might've saved her life, even. The friends I was travelling with at the time were none to happy about Byzantine troops on Bulgarian soil. Who knows what they'd have done if I hadn't found her first." Ghost lied.

"You didn't hurt her?"

"We fought, yes, I'll admit. But nothing serious. She's probably sitting comfy back in Constantinople, enjoying the pleasures of Curly's court again as we speak. Well, comparative pleasures, anyway. I'm sure she's staying faithful in your long absense, even though a girl like her has needs." Ghost smirked.

Dallas sighed again and sheathed his weapons, refusing to be baited. "I find it difficult to believe a man such as you has any friends."

"Touche."

They stared at each other in silence again. Ghost's smile continued to grow as Dallas held his gaze.

"Look, I'll tell you what, kid," Ghost said finally. "Let me see what I can do to help you get that bum TwoBit out of there and get you back on your way to Constantinople and your sweetheart. It's the least I can do after all of this."

"Why, in Empress Curly's name, should I trust you?"

"Good question. I suppose you don't really have any reason to. Not much I can say that'll give you reason to, either. After all, I could be lying about anything I say to you. But, on the other hand, what reason would I have to do so? I'll tell this: I'm not one of Tsar Peter's favorite people, and I'm not too fond of him, either. Anything I can do to stick a bit of a thorn in his side is a small pleasure for me. Hold off on trying to get inside for 24 hours, give it another day, and I'll see what I can do to help. At worst, it'll be another day before you can see your darling again. On the other hand, it'll be another day you can continue to draw breath and daydream about your lovely Ms. Dragonrider."

"Your argument isn't very compelling."

"Well, then, look at it this way: if I wanted you captured the guards could've been here by now. If I want you dead, I just think incendiary thoughts and my hands burst into flame, a few moments later and you'd never be the same. I admit that I'm probably a bit of a bastard, but if I meant you harm I would've wrapped things up by now."

Dallas considered. "I suppose I could wait another day."

"Glad to hear it!" Ghost extended a hand.

Dallas reached out and they shook hands, almost cordially.

"Now, sit right back and your troubles melt away," Ghost said, grinning.

With that, Ghost walked off into the night. Dallas couldn't help but think he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.

[Coidzor]

Very enjoyable indeed. cero being cero and all.

Now just to get to the task of reading the earlier ISTLYs...

[Player_Zero]

IStLY?

[TwoBitWriter]

I'm Sorry to Love You. Its a series of shipfics written by several authors.

Archive is in the first page. Its a very good series, methinks.

Edit: And now for some Accolades...

@Cristo: I already told you over chats how I felt about your work, and that still holds true now. I probably don't make as big a fuss over it as I should, because I know just how killer silence can be. Just remember that you got a fan in me.

@Destro: I told you how much I loved your CSI work over chats as well, so there really isn't much more I can say here. However, I will say that I am SO looking forward to more from you. I will try to finish your pirate piece, first thing after I'm done with A Shipper's Carol.

@ Blue Umbrella: Funny name, Seriously good Shipping! The past few days with the recent ships with PZ, I kept thinking "Player Zero has joined the party!" Well done, Blue, well done!

@Lex: It is always a pleasure to see you post, even more so when its my favorite subject, Shipping!

@CurlyKitGirl: Ahh, fantastic song fic, my Empress. But someone forgot to tell the writer of that song that Fairy Tales are typically happy...
But it was still beautifully done, all the same.

@DS7: Keep 'em coming!

[RabbitHoleLost]

Ashes (IStLY fic)
dallas-dakota/ghost_warlock (Dragonrider & TwoBitWriter mentioned)

Spoiler

Show

5

Dallas sat in the dark, picking the ashes of his dying fire. In the distance, he could just make out Tsar Peter's palace

4

Several days of travel, alone, in the cold weather had left their mark on his spirits and his gear. Most of all, on his hopes of ever seeing Dragonrider again.

3

He took from his pack a letter she had given him, to take with him. It was much too dark to read her words but he'd memorized them so, in his mind's-eye, he could see her gentle-yet-firm script on the crinkled paper just the same.

2

He pressed the letter to his lips, wondering if this would be the best he could expect for a kiss goodbye. Though now faint, he could still barely smell her perfume on the letter.

1

He cast a glance at the palace, wondering if it was time to finally get on with things and try to sneak in to accomplish his task her; one that would likely fail and result in his death. He began to fold the letter back up.

0

With a blood-curdling scream, a man suddenly emerged from almost-dead fire. He fell on his hands and knees, steam and smoke rising off his body.

Terrified at the man's abrupt appearance, Dallas shouted and fell backwards. Cursing himself for dropping Dragonrider's letter in the snow, he reached for one of his swords; hoping he'd be at least capable of defending himself if the man attacked.

But the attack didn't come. The man continued to kneel and cough, gasping for breaths between.

"I wasn't told," the man choked, "when I learned that trick, that it would hurt so much."

"Who...?" Dallas gaped, jumping to his feet.

"But, then, perhaps a burning building wasn't," the man coughed again, "the site my teachers had in mind when we discussed discorporation. Seemed about as good a location as any, though, I'd think. On account of the flames, you see."

Dallas, pointed one of his swords at the strange man. "Tell me who you are and what you're doing here, or..."

"Oh, shut your mouth. I'll tell you what I'm going to tell you when I'm good and ready," the man shook his head, took a deep breath, and sighed. "Nobody has any manners, these days. Help me up, will you?"

Dallas' first impulse was to comply and he started to reach out to the man, but then hesitated. Something about the man told him not to get too close, that asking for help was nothing more than a ruse to get him to drop his guard.

The man grinned up at him and laughed. "Clever lad, aren't you? That's good. I could have disarmed you and snapped your neck in a second. However, I mean you no harm. Mind if I stand up, get comfortable? This has not been a good day for me," the man considered, "You either, I'd say. You're a long way from home, kid. Use some company for a while?"

Dallas sighed and stepped back, sheathing his sword. "Whatever." He began searching the snow for Dragonrider's letter.

The man stood and turned his head oddly, his neck popping. "What're you looking for?"

"A letter. I dropped it when you...surprised me."

"Oh, sorry about that. I didn't have much choice in the matter, to be honest. Otherwise, I would've picked a more private spot. So, this letter?"

"From my..." he hesitated, not exactly sure what to consider his relationship with her; or even why he was answering this man's questions to begin with!

The man laughed. "Let me guess, it's complicated. Usually is. Need some help?"

"No, I got it," Dallas picked the letter up out of the snow, frowning. By the fire's light, though, he could tell the letter hadn't been badly damaged by the snow: it was too cold. He finished folding the letter and stuffed it into a pocket on the inside of his coat.

"So, we've got a Byzantine boy way up here in Bulgaria; well-armed and carrying a letter from his sweetheart for courage. What's your game, boy?"

Dallas began drawing a sword again.

The man pointed at Dallas' campfire and a ray of flame erupted from his fingertip. The flames flared to life for a few moments before dying down again. "If I wanted to fight, I would've started a while ago. Ease up, I'm just making conversation."

"My mission is my own, and none of your business, then." Dallas said.

"Son, you're an Byzantine soldier in my homeland. Everything you do here is my business. For the most part, I couldn't care less about your mission, but I have to feel secure about the safety of the people I care about. Now, tell me what you're up to or I'll be sure to have every guard within ten miles on their way here within moments."

Dallas sighed. The man was probably bluffing but, at this point, there didn't see much of a point in taking the chance. "I have been sent by my Empress to set free a man Tsar Peter has locked in his dungeons. A soothsayer of some sort."

"You mean TwoBitWriter?" the man laughed. "So Peter finally tossed that charlatan down in the slam, did he? About time!"

"You know of him?"

"Oh, yes. He served for a time under...the previous Tsar. Never took much stock in his 'prophecies,' much to vague for the tastes of the time, I fear. When war's afoot generals prefer succint and useful divinations, not the hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo TwoBit spouts. Honestly, so far as I'm concerned, if Curly wants him she can have his worthless behind."

"Um, thank you?" Dallas said.

"So, you're planning on breaking into the palace and smuggling him out. Any ideas on how you're going to do that?"

"I've got a couple, been working on it."

"Right. Well, I'm sure you're better at that sort of thing than most. From your outfit and gear, I'd say you're some sort of sneak or assassin. Swordsage, maybe? Meh."

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, measuring each other up.

"Well, just as well. You have a name, kid?" the man asked.

"Dallas-dakota. You?"

"I'm known as the Ghost Warlock. Out of curiosity, what's your lady-friend's name? Or, boyfriend if that's your pleasure. Makes no difference to me."

"Her name is Dragonrider. She is my Empress' most skilled general and a great beauty. Her curls are..."

Ghost interrupted him. "Oh, yeah? About this tall?" Ghost indicated with a hand, "I don't suppose you last saw her in Edirne, or thereabouts?"

"Adrianople," Dallas muttered, a bit taken aback. "But..."

Ghost interrupted again. "I think we've met. Nice girl, I guess, not as skilled with a sword as she thinks she is. Not that she's a pushover, just that..."

Dallas had his swords drawn faster than he would've normally thought possible. Pointing the blades at Ghost, he growled. "What do you mean by this, tell me quickly, or..." Dallas trailed off.

Ghost held his hands up, as if surrendering. "Woah, there! Relax! She's alive, fine for the most part. I sent a message with her back to Curly. I might've saved her life, even. The friends I was travelling with at the time were none to happy about Byzantine troops on Bulgarian soil. Who knows what they'd have done if I hadn't found her first." Ghost lied.

"You didn't hurt her?"

"We fought, yes, I'll admit. But nothing serious. She's probably sitting comfy back in Constantinople, enjoying the pleasures of Curly's court again as we speak. Well, comparative pleasures, anyway. I'm sure she's staying faithful in your long absense, even though a girl like her has needs." Ghost smirked.

Dallas sighed again and sheathed his weapons, refusing to be baited. "I find it difficult to believe a man such as you has any friends."

"Touche."

They stared at each other in silence again. Ghost's smile continued to grow as Dallas held his gaze.

"Look, I'll tell you what, kid," Ghost said finally. "Let me see what I can do to help you get that bum TwoBit out of there and get you back on your way to Constantinople and your sweetheart. It's the least I can do after all of this."

"Why, in Empress Curly's name, should I trust you?"

"Good question. I suppose you don't really have any reason to. Not much I can say that'll give you reason to, either. After all, I could be lying about anything I say to you. But, on the other hand, what reason would I have to do so? I'll tell this: I'm not one of Tsar Peter's favorite people, and I'm not too fond of him, either. Anything I can do to stick a bit of a thorn in his side is a small pleasure for me. Hold off on trying to get inside for 24 hours, give it another day, and I'll see what I can do to help. At worst, it'll be another day before you can see your darling again. On the other hand, it'll be another day you can continue to draw breath and daydream about your lovely Ms. Dragonrider."

"Your argument isn't very compelling."

"Well, then, look at it this way: if I wanted you captured the guards could've been here by now. If I want you dead, I just think incendiary thoughts and my hands burst into flame, a few moments later and you'd never be the same. I admit that I'm probably a bit of a bastard, but if I meant you harm I would've wrapped things up by now."

Dallas considered. "I suppose I could wait another day."

"Glad to hear it!" Ghost extended a hand.

Dallas reached out and they shook hands, almost cordially.

"Now, sit right back and your troubles melt away," Ghost said, grinning.

With that, Ghost walked off into the night. Dallas couldn't help but think he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.

::snigger::
Can't wait to see what they find when they go looking for Twobit

[TwoBitWriter]

::snigger::
Can't wait to see what they find when they go looking for Twobit

I uh... I'm really afraid to read that particular entry...

[RabbitHoleLost]

>>
Kay, well, I'm off to work. There better be ships to read when I get home!
Also, I think I might have thought of a happy ending for Rabbit (gasp!) in the IStLY series.
<<
We'll see if I feel like finally giving a character of mine a nice ending for once

[TwoBitWriter]

I will do my best...

[ghost_warlock]

>>
Kay, well, I'm off to work. There better be ships to read when I get home!
Also, I think I might have thought of a happy ending for Rabbit (gasp!) in the IStLY series.
<<
We'll see if I feel like finally giving a character of mine a nice ending for once

I've also got an ending in mind for her. Guess we'll see how our overcomplicated megalomaniacal inspired plans mesh up.

BTW, RHL, what did you think of The Pyre, the fic I posted yesterday? It kind of got buried amongst my ship comments in that post... Please let me know whenever you get a chance.

[Dirk Kris]

ds7 - fan-freakin-tastic, love it, keep it going.
Curly - that song was in PS I Love You and made me laugh while I cried- loved it.
Cristo - you never cease to amaze me, dear heart. Keep it comin'!
Destro - as I said before, mon ami, I am always willing - glad you thought of me. I always wanted to be a crotchety old limping geezer. Wait, what did I just say?

Ugh, I wanna write something more for IStLY, but now I'm scared to because Rabbit seems to have something up her sleeve.
Also, today is my last day for 2 1/2 weeks, so if someone wants to request something, now is the time. More Busty B, starring YOU? Great. Whisper, hot and heavy and minimally plot-driven? Sure. A ship featuring YOU? Alright. Just lemme know.

[TwoBitWriter]

ds7 - fan-freakin-tastic, love it, keep it going.
Curly - that song was in PS I Love You and made me laugh while I cried- loved it.
Cristo - you never cease to amaze me, dear heart. Keep it comin'!
Destro - as I said before, mon ami, I am always willing - glad you thought of me. I always wanted to be a crotchety old limping geezer. Wait, what did I just say?

Ugh, I wanna write something more for IStLY, but now I'm scared to because Rabbit seems to have something up her sleeve.
Also, today is my last day for 2 1/2 weeks, so if someone wants to request something, now is the time. More Busty B, starring YOU? Great. Whisper, hot and heavy and minimally plot-driven? Sure. A ship featuring YOU? Alright. Just lemme know.

You know me... I always wants to be shipped with Dirk or Brandi. Lovey-Dovey, action, hot and heavy, doesn't matter!

[CurlyKitGirl]

Allow me to present another

Definition drabble

Mordokai/Mi'ir/Graf/RHL/Turtle:

Kickshaw - a showy trifle

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"I never abandoned you! I was only fifteen. They took you away from me after Mother died; I tried so hard to look after you.
"They took you away from me and gave you to some rich, childless couple to cosset and pet over.
"You were not meant to be like this! My sister was meant to be strong and true. Not a spoilt little girl."
"Oh, Mother dear, don’t lie to me. You took care of me for my whole life until you abandoned me. My Lord and Lady told me so."
"They lie!"
"I believe them." She attacked.

[ghost_warlock]

Ugh, I wanna write something more for IStLY, but now I'm scared to because Rabbit seems to have something up her sleeve.
Also, today is my last day for 2 1/2 weeks, so if someone wants to request something, now is the time. More Busty B, starring YOU? Great. Whisper, hot and heavy and minimally plot-driven? Sure. A ship featuring YOU? Alright. Just lemme know.

Well, there's a number of other characters in IStLY that probably aren't going to get a whole lot more attention from here on in. Turtle & Reinholdt, Rubakhin & Dragonrider, Cristo/Mi'ir has *yet* to be introduced...could probably have Brandelle & Mordy run across him/her.

Otherwise, I'm still waiting on Batman/Mr. Freeze smooches.

[Dirk Kris]

Giggiddy starring Dirk Kris/TwoBit

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It was late, and the bar was starting to empty. Dirk and TwoBit lifted their bottles and clanked them together for, like, the twentieth time that night.
"Yeah, man, congrats on your promotion."
"And congrats to you for working out that deal with the Weinstones."
"Yeah, they'll live off that settlement until they die...which'll be in...what? 10 years, tops?"
The two men laughed far harder than they should have. They'd been at the bar since they got off of work at 5:30 - 5 long hours ago. More than a little drunk, they congratulated and toasted over and over.

Now, as the evening wore on and people started to leave, they slowed the rate of their drinking, knowing their own treks home were approaching. The two men had sometimes been mistaken for brothers, both tall and dark, both with a deep, roaring laugh. They weren't, but had been friends so long it was easy to forget that. Dirk had seen TwoBit through a nasty divorce, TwoBit had seen the trail of floozies Dirk left in his wake. They got on well, and the decision to meet at their favorite bar had come like second nature.
"Meet me after work."
"Dagwood's?"
"Yeah. Bye."

The room was quieter, the college kids gone on to the nightclubs, the dinner patrons and sports fans finished. Among a handful of other regulars, the two men spotted a pretty, petite blonde at the end of the bar. She drank alone, watching the room, puffing away on a cigarette like a chimney. Dirk elbowed his friend.
"Divorce?"
"Nah, break-up."
"Rebound?"
TwoBit studied her a moment.
"Nope. She's hoping it'll work out."
"Sure?"
"Oh yeah. I'd bet on it."
Dirk smirked and watched the woman a moment longer.
"I'll take that bet."
TwoBit blinked, surprised. But before he could say anything, Dirk was off.

TwoBit smiled, watching his friend. That was just his style - plunge in head first and hope he didn't hit bottom. That was too reckless for TwoBit, but fun to watch. Dirk made his approach, sitting two bar stools down and making idle small talk. TwoBit smiled. Not too direct, atta boy.

Time passed, TwoBit watched the news and waited. And eventually, Dirk got up and offered his arm. The woman took it! TwoBit stared, open-mouthed. As they passed by, he caught Dirk by the arm.
"Hey, man. How'd you do it?"

Dirk grinned. "I waited until you'd forgotten about us. You started picking your nose. And I told her if she didn't quit drinking and leave with me, she'd probably end up with you."

TwoBit flipped him the bird. "You're a bastard. Seriously."

[TwoBitWriter]

Giggiddy starring Dirk Kris/TwoBit

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*snip*

Lovely! Just lovely!

What are friends for, right?

[Kaelaroth]

Yay!!! Good story, Destro.

Here's mine.

Starring: Lex, Rabbit, and Turtle. ((With Rabbit's and Turtle's okay.))

Sweet Dreams

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As Lex lay in her soft, warm bed, there came a knock on her door. Can I come in, Lex?

Lex's heart jumped. She loved to hear her Mistresses voice, even though it always broke her heart to think of the love she'd never have. Of course, Mistress. What do you need?

Turtle slowly opened the door, and there she stood, wearing a sheer light green babydoll, and matching stockings. I need you, Lex. I've been holding back my feelings for you, because of Fan. But now I know that it is you I've wanted near me all this time. Turtle strides into the room.

Lex almost jumped for joy, her mistress was now her lover. She'd longed for this day, ever since she'd met the barbarian. Her lean, strong muscles, glistening with sweat, as she killed one opponent after another. It almost drove Lex insane watching her fight.

Wait, no, something was up. Her mistress already told her she wasn't that way. You're being controlled, Mistress. I'll help you. Lex flew over to her mistress, and tried to wrap her in a blanket.

No, Lex. I'm not being controlled by anyone, but you. Your sweet, sexy, little body... When I've hugged you, I never want to let go. I love the feel of you next to me. Turtle shifts so that she's pixie size, and pulls Lex into a fierce hug.

What are you doing with my Lex!!! Came a voice from the doorway.

Rabbit stormed into the room and smackled Turtle away from Lex's arms. She's my little Lexy, and you can't have her. Go back to Fan.

Lex's heart soared. Rabbit was her first love, and she wanted her as much as she wanted Turtle. But, what about Turtle? She looked to Turtle.

Turtle had shifted into her battle form. And the two began to glare at each other. She left you for me, Rabbit. Go back to your lonely citadel, and find a zombie, or something.

You're married, Turtle. What will Fan think about this?

Well, thanks to you, I don't feel the way I used to, about Fan. So way to succeed, Rabbit. Now get away from her, before I tear you apart.

Go ahead and try. Rabbit pulls a foon out of her hat, Roger. And the two begin to circle each other.

Oh, no. Lex thought. I have to stop them. Maybe the two sisters would agree to share her. But I love you both. You are both my mistresses, and my greatest loves. Maybe we could work something out, between us. You could share.

Both Rabbit and Turtle turned away from their glaring contest, to look at Lex.
NEVER!! They both screamed, then charged each other. Blood started spraying everywhere.

++++++++++++

Lex suddenly woke up with a start. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, about to explode. It'd just been another nightmare.

Then a knock on her door. Can I come in, Lex?

I request that this is made canon, go post it on GLoG.

[Dirk Kris]

Otherwise, I'm still waiting on Batman/Mr. Freeze smooches.

Dude, would Batman's tongue get stuck to...nevermind.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Ashes (IStLY fic)
dallas-dakota/ghost_warlock (Dragonrider, TwoBitWriter, & Zar Peter mentioned)

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Dallas sat in the dark, picking the ashes of his dying fire. In the distance, he could just make out Tsar Peter's palace

4

Several days of travel, alone, in the cold weather had left their mark on his spirits and his gear. Most of all, on his hopes of ever seeing Dragonrider again.

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He took from his pack a letter she had given him, to take with him. It was much too dark to read her words but he'd memorized them so, in his mind's-eye, he could see her gentle-yet-firm script on the crinkled paper just the same.

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He pressed the letter to his lips, wondering if this would be the best he could expect for a kiss goodbye. Though now faint, he could still barely smell her perfume on the letter.

1

He cast a glance at the palace, wondering if it was time to finally get on with things and try to sneak in to accomplish his task her; one that would likely fail and result in his death. He began to fold the letter back up.

0

With a blood-curdling scream, a man suddenly emerged from almost-dead fire. He fell on his hands and knees, steam and smoke rising off his body.

Terrified at the man's abrupt appearance, Dallas shouted and fell backwards. Cursing himself for dropping Dragonrider's letter in the snow, he reached for one of his swords; hoping he'd be at least capable of defending himself if the man attacked.

But the attack didn't come. The man continued to kneel and cough, gasping for breaths between.

"I wasn't told," the man choked, "when I learned that trick, that it would hurt so much."

"Who...?" Dallas gaped, jumping to his feet.

"But, then, perhaps a burning building wasn't," the man coughed again, "the site my teachers had in mind when we discussed discorporation. Seemed about as good a location as any, though, I'd think. On account of the flames, you see."

Dallas, pointed one of his swords at the strange man. "Tell me who you are and what you're doing here, or..."

"Oh, shut your mouth. I'll tell you what I'm going to tell you when I'm good and ready," the man shook his head, took a deep breath, and sighed. "Nobody has any manners, these days. Help me up, will you?"

Dallas' first impulse was to comply and he started to reach out to the man, but then hesitated. Something about the man told him not to get too close, that asking for help was nothing more than a ruse to get him to drop his guard.

The man grinned up at him and laughed. "Clever lad, aren't you? That's good. I could have disarmed you and snapped your neck in a second. However, I mean you no harm. Mind if I stand up, get comfortable? This has not been a good day for me," the man considered, "You either, I'd say. You're a long way from home, kid. Use some company for a while?"

Dallas sighed and stepped back, sheathing his sword. "Whatever." He began searching the snow for Dragonrider's letter.

The man stood and turned his head oddly, his neck popping. "What're you looking for?"

"A letter. I dropped it when you...surprised me."

"Oh, sorry about that. I didn't have much choice in the matter, to be honest. Otherwise, I would've picked a more private spot. So, this letter?"

"From my..." he hesitated, not exactly sure what to consider his relationship with her; or even why he was answering this man's questions to begin with!

The man laughed. "Let me guess, it's complicated. Usually is. Need some help?"

"No, I got it," Dallas picked the letter up out of the snow, frowning. By the fire's light, though, he could tell the letter hadn't been badly damaged by the snow: it was too cold. He finished folding the letter and stuffed it into a pocket on the inside of his coat.

"So, we've got a Byzantine boy way up here in Bulgaria; well-armed and carrying a letter from his sweetheart for courage. What's your game, boy?"

Dallas began drawing a sword again.

The man pointed at Dallas' campfire and a ray of flame erupted from his fingertip. The flames flared to life for a few moments before dying down again. "If I wanted to fight, I would've started a while ago. Ease up, I'm just making conversation."

"My mission is my own, and none of your business, then." Dallas said.

"Son, you're an Byzantine soldier in my homeland. Everything you do here is my business. For the most part, I couldn't care less about your mission, but I have to feel secure about the safety of the people I care about. Now, tell me what you're up to or I'll be sure to have every guard within ten miles on their way here within moments."

Dallas sighed. The man was probably bluffing but, at this point, there didn't see much of a point in taking the chance. "I have been sent by my Empress to set free a man Tsar Peter has locked in his dungeons. A soothsayer of some sort."

"You mean TwoBitWriter?" the man laughed. "So Peter finally tossed that charlatan down in the slam, did he? About time!"

"You know of him?"

"Oh, yes. He served for a time under...the previous Tsar. Never took much stock in his 'prophecies,' much to vague for the tastes of the time, I fear. When war's afoot generals prefer succint and useful divinations, not the hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo TwoBit spouts. Honestly, so far as I'm concerned, if Curly wants him she can have his worthless behind."

"Um, thank you?" Dallas said.

"So, you're planning on breaking into the palace and smuggling him out. Any ideas on how you're going to do that?"

"I've got a couple, been working on it."

"Right. Well, I'm sure you're better at that sort of thing than most. From your outfit and gear, I'd say you're some sort of sneak or assassin. Swordsage, maybe? Meh."

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, measuring each other up.

"Well, just as well. You have a name, kid?" the man asked.

"Dallas-dakota. You?"

"I'm known as the Ghost Warlock. Out of curiosity, what's your lady-friend's name? Or, boyfriend if that's your pleasure. Makes no difference to me."

"Her name is Dragonrider. She is my Empress' most skilled general and a great beauty. Her curls are..."

Ghost interrupted him. "Oh, yeah? About this tall?" Ghost indicated with a hand, "I don't suppose you last saw her in Edirne, or thereabouts?"

"Adrianople," Dallas muttered, a bit taken aback. "But..."

Ghost interrupted again. "I think we've met. Nice girl, I guess, not as skilled with a sword as she thinks she is. Not that she's a pushover, just that..."

Dallas had his swords drawn faster than he would've normally thought possible. Pointing the blades at Ghost, he growled. "What do you mean by this, tell me quickly, or..." Dallas trailed off.

Ghost held his hands up, as if surrendering. "Woah, there! Relax! She's alive, fine for the most part. I sent a message with her back to Curly. I might've saved her life, even. The friends I was travelling with at the time were none to happy about Byzantine troops on Bulgarian soil. Who knows what they'd have done if I hadn't found her first." Ghost lied.

"You didn't hurt her?"

"We fought, yes, I'll admit. But nothing serious. She's probably sitting comfy back in Constantinople, enjoying the pleasures of Curly's court again as we speak. Well, comparative pleasures, anyway. I'm sure she's staying faithful in your long absense, even though a girl like her has needs." Ghost smirked.

Dallas sighed again and sheathed his weapons, refusing to be baited. "I find it difficult to believe a man such as you has any friends."

"Touche."

They stared at each other in silence again. Ghost's smile continued to grow as Dallas held his gaze.

"Look, I'll tell you what, kid," Ghost said finally. "Let me see what I can do to help you get that bum TwoBit out of there and get you back on your way to Constantinople and your sweetheart. It's the least I can do after all of this."

"Why, in Empress Curly's name, should I trust you?"

"Good question. I suppose you don't really have any reason to. Not much I can say that'll give you reason to, either. After all, I could be lying about anything I say to you. But, on the other hand, what reason would I have to do so? I'll tell this: I'm not one of Tsar Peter's favorite people, and I'm not too fond of him, either. Anything I can do to stick a bit of a thorn in his side is a small pleasure for me. Hold off on trying to get inside for 24 hours, give it another day, and I'll see what I can do to help. At worst, it'll be another day before you can see your darling again. On the other hand, it'll be another day you can continue to draw breath and daydream about your lovely Ms. Dragonrider."

"Your argument isn't very compelling."

"Well, then, look at it this way: if I wanted you captured the guards could've been here by now. If I want you dead, I just think incendiary thoughts and my hands burst into flame, a few moments later and you'd never be the same. I admit that I'm probably a bit of a bastard, but if I meant you harm I would've wrapped things up by now."

Dallas considered. "I suppose I could wait another day."

"Glad to hear it!" Ghost extended a hand.

Dallas reached out and they shook hands, almost cordially.

"Now, sit right back and your troubles melt away," Ghost said, grinning.

With that, Ghost walked off into the night. Dallas couldn't help but think he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I like it.
Except that my character isn't that trusting...more paranoid...except with Dragonrider.

[ghost_warlock]

Dude, would Batman's tongue get stuck to...nevermind.

See, these are the sorts of questions that I have that I fear will never be answered.

Also, that story was hilarious.

I like it.
Except that my character isn't that trusting...more paranoid...except with Dragonrider.

Sneaky Ghost can get a pretty good bonus to Diplomacy when he wants one.

[TwoBitWriter]

Dude, would Batman's tongue get stuck to...nevermind.

Ewww... you are a sick and dirty, perverted and twisted person, Dirk...

And I couldn't have asked for anything more for the Shipping Thread!

[Reinholdt]

@ Blue Umbrella- Very funny. You need to write more.
*is not a request*

@ Ghost Warlock- Good as always. Glad to see some other players in this series, too.

@ Curly- Yikes. Rabbit and Turtle sure do have family issues. Keep them coming.

@ Dirk- That ending was hilarious. Mean old Dirk getting the girls .

And RHL, if you give Rabbit a happy ending here, you'll never have to give Rabbit a happy ending in Free-Form. It's win-win.

[mangosta71]

@ Ghost - love the Big Blue Dress reference.

[ghost_warlock]

@ Ghost - love the Big Blue Dress reference.

*snicker* Yeah, I find that song is somewhat appropriate for Ghost. I have a music video of it linked on his reference sheet. And, well, I didn't get a Red Dwarf quote in that fic so I had to do something.

@V: Take care of yourself, Dirky. We'll miss you, too! I hope you have a good time!

[Dirk Kris]

Alright, kiddies.
Behave.
I mean it!
Miss you all so much already!
Much loveses!
~Dirky Bear

@v: Indeed.

[Cristo Meyers]

Dirk is telling us to behave.

Dirk...

...behave must mean something completely different in your language

[Reinholdt]

Aww. We'll really miss you Dirk. Have a good break.

[TwoBitWriter]

I am going to have the hardest time finishing A Shipper's Carol knowing that Dirk won't be able to read it until January.

[ghost_warlock]

I am going to have the hardest time finishing A Shipper's Carol knowing that Dirk won't be able to read it until January.

Think of it as a great, big "Welcome Back!" present you'll have prepared.

[happyturtle]

Dirk is telling us to behave.

Dirk...

...behave must mean something completely different in your language

"Badly" is a behaviour.