Shippingitp IV: Flattery Will Get You EVERYWHERE

[happyturtle]

I have some backstory in mind for Turtle and Rabbit, so looking for volunteers to be cast as Turtle's mother, Rabbit's mother, and their shared father.

If Rabbit approves, this might become canonish, so nobody who is already involved in their story in Acronymia. The three parents are all dead by present day, and we don't want any Flying Killer Time Monkeys after us if we break continuity too badly.

Oh, and dad is a jerk. So don't volunteer if that bothers you.

Cheers!

[ghost_warlock]

I have some backstory in mind for Turtle and Rabbit, so looking for volunteers to be cast as Turtle's mother, Rabbit's mother, and their shared father.

If Rabbit approves, this might become canonish, so nobody who is already involved in their story in Acronymia. The three parents are all dead by present day, and we don't want any Flying Killer Time Monkeys after us if we break continuity too badly.

Oh, and dad is a jerk. So don't volunteer if that bothers you.

Cheers!

You might try PMing Midnight Son and see if he'll play the part of the jerky-dad. He volunteered to take Dallas' place if we were going to retcon IStLY (which isn't going to be the case, btw) so I know he's interested in being involved in some capacity and may not particularly care how he's portrayed.

[Midnight Son]

I can most certainly be a bastard of a Father. Ship away. (Course that'll make two ships where I'm a mean, mean meany-head. Quick someone ship me as a saint to balance things out)

[RabbitHoleLost]

I can most certainly be a bastard of a Father. Ship away. (Course that'll make two ships where I'm a mean, mean meany-head. Quick someone ship me as a saint to balance things out)

Midnight Son gets to be mah daddy?
How awesome

[CurlyKitGirl]

And so the story ends, and the threads are lain for another tale.

Capering, falling

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Another voice, high, low, singsong; of childlike seeming.

"Broken boy, mauled man.
Spindle wound and woven
Woven warped the warper weaves"

"You're ... back."

"Did I leave? I can not tell. I cannot say. Sune's blessed gone far astray. Coney cut and cast aside. Bard's black heart rent in pride."

"So ... what happens now?"

"I observe, and chronicle, as always. What you do," Koorli simply shrugged.

Renfield approached the hut, carrying something heavy wrapped over his shoulder. "Can not fix the men. Can not make blind eyes see. Can not fill the fen. Turned blacker than night's sea." He set the bundle down carefully, unravelling the cloth to reveal the spent body of poor Celestine. His lips flared a bit, and a quiet sussurus of sound slid free as he regarded the corpse; a hand descended, stroking the fur, scritching the chin.

"No greater victim in this act I see. Than the death of this precious creature before me." He looked at Koorli wordlessly, his hands still silently stroking the cat who could no longer feel his affections.

"Not an innocent, mad childe Renfield."

"Broken, bound, benighted; for a fraction of function, for iotas of intellect; that a cat might express as a man, in words what normal lies the province of eyes, whiskers, tuft to tail."

He leaned down, regarding the cat at its own level, and murmured.

The waters of life do move as the weather
and in life as the waters, thee shall know both calm and storm
He that must embrace the storm shall soon be swept away
While he that learns to navigate shall make his own journey

Koorli, listening, regarded him with an expression of alarm.
"What are you on about, then?

He ignored her query, continuing to murmur softly to the corpse.

When thy fear has turned to anger, thee has lost thy soul
and shall make the devil laugh
But to still thy tongue and become amazed, thee begets enlightenment
and thus shall thee know bliss
Thus may one discover a craft and sail upon the waters
Thus may one discover thyself, and sail upon life.

"

"Is he talking to the cat ... or Mordokai?"

"Can you make life without breaking it?" The question hung in the air, for a time answered only by the soft sounds of the fire.

"What are you?"

"What are you? What am I? As the swallows swiftly fly, as the daisies slowly die. I. What am I? One broken? One whole? One hole, broken. Mine the mind mined. Is it a bind? Am I bound, but free, freely caught, freshly given, never sought?

I am ... in search of a broken man! He is me, but I am free, not I, not he, where go shall we?"

Serpentine cocked her head slightly. "If I understand you right, then I would go with you."

But that, children ... is another tale for another time

Footnote

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I cannot claim credit for the italicized text; it comes from one of several of the 'maps' from Wizardry VII (Crusaders of the Dark Savant). It is, however, like most of them, astonishingly fitting in the right contexts.

Wow; that's intriguing, I want more. And did you take Coney from me?
If so: one of my names is being used!
If I picked that up from another fic: RHL has a code name!


And now, good sirs and ladies of the thread I present you with what has come before in:

Definition drabble

Outraged
Accentuate
Domicile
Alienist
Prolix
Dragoon
Ineffable
Golem
Jurisprudence
Lothario - definition drabble (sequel to Helgraf's Definition definition drabble
Exculpate
Touchstone
Prelapsarian
Remora
Kickshaw
Bifurcate
Simulacrum

Undulant - having a wavy form, outline, or surface

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The blade fell. Silver arcing through air wavering from the sheer concentration of magical powers. Sune and Tsukie must have been looking over Mordokai and all his companions that night for the shimmering confused Turtles’ sight and the sword merely pierced her shoulder instead of the heart.
Blade jammed in her sisters’ body Turtle made an effort to rip the fang from flesh, but it was caught in bone.
It was enough for them.
Mordokai leapt towards the battling sisters, intent on killing Turtle. "Don’t!" shrieked RHL in desperation at the paladin, "She’s still my sister an-" she screamed piercingly.

[Lex-Kat]

Quick someone ship me as a saint to balance things out)

Saint Midnight

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Midnight Son was walking through a park and saw a child crying. What's wrong little girl?

That man stole mah Lollipop. She points at a strange looking man, wearing a blue fur coat, and licking a lollipop.

I'll get it back for you. And he magically makes the lollipop reappear in the childs hand. It is fresh and clean, as if it'd never been licked. There you go.

Thank you mister.

Midnight Son smiled, and walked away, humming a strange tune.

THE END

[TwoBitWriter]

After several days of inactivity, I present to you. I gotta warn you though, its kind of a sad one...

A Shipper's Carol

Part 5:

Starring: Cristo Meyers, Ghost Warlock, Dirk Kris, CurlyKitGirl, Korith with cameos by Helgraf and Thufir

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“Ghost Warlock? At least you are a spirit whose name makes sense…” Cristo said slowly.

“I suppose… but I have other qualifications for my position…” Ghost Warlock said.

“And what would that be?” Cristo asked.

Ghost Warlock didn’t respond at first, but slowly drew his face into a grin. “Well, that’s what you are about to find out, isn’t it?”

Cristo was actually slightly intimidated by this grim spirit. “Well then. Let’s get this over with, I suppose. Soon it will be morning and I can go about my business.”

Ghost Warlock laughed. “We shall see, Cristo, we shall see.”

The day scene that they were in quickly shifted into night, and Cristo found himself standing with Ghost Warlock outside of Dirk Kris’ home again.

“But, we were just here. Why have you brought me back?” Cristo asked.

“This is a future Christmas… that’s kinda my shtick. I thought had this by now.” Ghost Warlock said. He pointed inside the building.

Cristo nodded and entered, same as he had with Reinholdt. Ghost Warlock followed him closely.

The home appeared much as it had in the present, only there were no decorations. There was not even the meager tree that had been in their home before. CurlyKitGirl slowly cooked dinner in the kitchen while Helgraf and Thufir silently sat in the living room. Their faces were glum. There were few lights, the interior matched the cold gray of the outside.

“This home… they were so happy not too long ago…” Cristo mused.

Ghost Warlock said nothing, but listened to the conversation of the Kris family.

“Children, do you see Dirk Kris coming home yet?” CurlyKitGirl said.

Helfgraf shook his head. “No mother, he seems to take longer and longer on his daily walks now.”

CurlyKitGirl sighed, “I don’t think he walks slower… but he lingers with Mini-Mordy longer.”

“Mini-Mordy? Ghost Warlock, why would spending time with his son keep him away from home?” Cristo asked.

Ghost Warlock said nothing, and Cristo continued to watch the scene.

It wasn’t much longer before the door to the miserable home opened and Dirk Kris stepped inside. He was alone, Mini-Mordy was nowhere to be seen.

CurlyKitGirl walked over and embraced her husband. “You really shouldn’t’ linger with Mini-Mordy so long, dear. We still have Helgraf and Thufir to mind.”

Dirk Kris nodded, “I know dear, I know. But… I just find myself staring at his grave, unable to pull myself away.”
“A grave?” Cristo said. “Is Mini-Mordy dead?”

Ghost Warlock rolled his eyes. “Took you long enough to figure that one out, genius.”

The scene suddenly faded, and Cristo found himself standing in an alleyway.

“Before we go further, Ghost Warlock. Does Mini-Mordy have to die? Can’t I do something to save him?”

Ghost Warlock shrugged, but said nothing. He pointed down the alley, pushing Cristo forward. The grip on Cristo’s shoulder was cold as ice.

There were three women, speaking with a man wearing a tattered coat and top hat. They were showing him various effects made from cloth.

“Ahh, ladies. What have you brought for ol’ Korith today, eh?” the tattered man said.

“Well, that poor old fool just died last night and we managed to sneak out some of his belonging’s before the court’s officers got a hold of him,” one of the women said.

“He didn’t leave a will?” Korith asked.

“Bah, that man didn’t care enough to leave anything to anyone.” Another woman said.

“Old fool… never cared for anyone… could they be talking about me, Ghost Warlock?” Cristo asked, not exactly expecting a reply.

Which he didn’t get.

“I brought his bed sheets, fancy stuff this. Should fetch a pretty penny eh?” Another woman said, holding up some richly embroidered fabrics.

Korith took the fabric and ran calloused hands over them. “My goodness, these are still warm!”

“Warmer then his heart, I wager!”

The four people laughed. Korith took possession of the very familiar goods and distributed a few pounds to each woman. They all quickly scampered off and the alley was quiet again.

“Those were my belongings? Weren’t they?” Cristo asked.

Ghost Warlock rolled his eyes. “It would have been easier for you to identify if you had actually shelled out the extra cash to have everything monogrammed. Seriously, what kind of rich guy are you? You don’t get any nice things… If I were still alive, and could still see the future…”

“What about the future? Should I make some key investments?” Cristo asked.

Ghost Warlock smiled. “When you hear about a new little company called Wal-Mart, you may want to buy stock.”

“Hey! Thanks!” Cristo said. “So where to next?”
Ghost Warlock grabbed Cristo by the shoulder and suddenly he found himself in a cemetery. Before them was a grave that had obviously been filled very recently. A small, grey headstone jutted out of it. The spirit raised his hand and pointed toward the headstone.

“Who…who is buried here? Is this the cold man that everyone despise, that brought misery to the world around him?” Cristo asked, gripped Ghost Warlock’s sleeve.

“Let that go, I just dry-cleaned it… Go take a look for yourself.” Ghost Warlock said.

Cristo took a step forward, but turned back. “And everything you have shown me, is this how things must be, or only a potential future? Could Mini-Mordy’s fate, and mine, be changed?”

Ghost Warlock said nothing, but motioned toward the headstone again.

Cristo approached closer, cautiously. It wasn’t long before the name “Cristo Meyers, Right Git” appeared chiseled on the stone’s face.

Recoiling in horror, Cristo screamed. “Oh no, Ghost Warlock, please, not me… I’m too rich to die!”

Ghost Warlock merely laughed. Before he knew it, the scene was fading into black. The laughter was fading into silence, until all was silent and black.

[Thufir]

Nice. And not all sad "I'm too rich to die!" was funny.
One typo I spotted:

The scene suddenly faded, and Scrooge found himself standing in an alleyway.

Should be Cristo, methinks.

[Mordokai]

I wanted to write something else, but the more I write it... the less I like it We'll see what tommorow turns out. So, for now, just this small, soppy...

Letter

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Why do I write this? Does it have a point? Will it change anything? No, it won't. And yet, I can't hold this inside anymore. I got to let it, scream it, less it chokes me. And who knows, perhaps, just perhaps, it will mean something.
How long has it been? A year? Less? It doesn't really matter. You came quitely and you took a part of my heart. Did I say took? No, I was wrong. I gave it to you wilingly. And I would do so again, without the second thought. But if that is so, why does it hurt so much? Why is the pain there? How to get rid of it? Once again, I ask myself these question. And once again, like so many times before, I know not the answer.
I just want to touch you. Run my fingers down your arm, caressing your tender skin. Kiss your lips, feeling them under my own. I just want to feel you, knowing that you are there for me. But you are not. And I can't. You are far away, too far. And no matter what I do... you are staying there.
Perhaps it's for the best. You deserve somebody better. You deserve somebody that will be able to give you everything you deserve. Somebody that will be able to spoil you the way you deserve. Me, I cannot do that. All I can give you is my heart. And seeing you already have that... yeah, I have nothing for you.
So I'm sitting here, watching your picture. Those eyes, ever so sad, ever so deep. Those hairs, ever so soft. Those lips, ever so full.
I watch it and it makes me smile.
I wish you the best of luck.

Can't believe I actually posted that...

[Thufir]

Letter

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Why do I write this? Does it have a point? Will it change anything? No, it won't. And yet, I can't hold this inside anymore. I got to let it, scream it, less it chokes me. And who knows, perhaps, just perhaps, it will mean something.
How long has it been? A year? Less? It doesn't really matter. You came quitely and you took a part of my heart. Did I say took? No, I was wrong. I gave it to you wilingly. And I would do so again, without the second thought. But if that is so, why does it hurt so much? Why is the pain there? How to get rid of it? Once again, I ask myself these question. And once again, like so many times before, I know not the answer.
I just want to touch you. Run my fingers down your arm, caressing your tender skin. Kiss your lips, feeling them under my own. I just want to feel you, knowing that you are there for me. But you are not. And I can't. You are far away, too far. And no matter what I do... you are staying there.
Perhaps it's for the best. You deserve somebody better. You deserve somebody that will be able to give you everything you deserve. Somebody that will be able to spoil you the way you deserve. Me, I cannot do that. All I can give you is my heart. And seeing you already have that... yeah, I have nothing for you.
So I'm sitting here, watching your picture. Those eyes, ever so sad, ever so deep. Those hairs, ever so soft. Those lips, ever so full.
I watch it and it makes me smile.
I wish you the best of luck.

...
I don't really know what to say to this, but I have to say something, because...
To be honest, a large proportion of that letter reads like something I might have produced if I'd just written down what I was thinking during one of the relevant periods of time...
It's very well written.

[happyturtle]

I wanted to write something else, but the more I write it... the less I like it We'll see what tommorow turns out. So, for now, just this small, soppy...

Letter

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Why do I write this? Does it have a point? Will it change anything? No, it won't. And yet, I can't hold this inside anymore. I got to let it, scream it, less it chokes me. And who knows, perhaps, just perhaps, it will mean something.
How long has it been? A year? Less? It doesn't really matter. You came quitely and you took a part of my heart. Did I say took? No, I was wrong. I gave it to you wilingly. And I would do so again, without the second thought. But if that is so, why does it hurt so much? Why is the pain there? How to get rid of it? Once again, I ask myself these question. And once again, like so many times before, I know not the answer.
I just want to touch you. Run my fingers down your arm, caressing your tender skin. Kiss your lips, feeling them under my own. I just want to feel you, knowing that you are there for me. But you are not. And I can't. You are far away, too far. And no matter what I do... you are staying there.
Perhaps it's for the best. You deserve somebody better. You deserve somebody that will be able to give you everything you deserve. Somebody that will be able to spoil you the way you deserve. Me, I cannot do that. All I can give you is my heart. And seeing you already have that... yeah, I have nothing for you.
So I'm sitting here, watching your picture. Those eyes, ever so sad, ever so deep. Those hairs, ever so soft. Those lips, ever so full.
I watch it and it makes me smile.
I wish you the best of luck.

Can't believe I actually posted that...

Awww.... *comforts Mordokai*

[Lord Magtok]

And now, for something on a happier note (And starring Happy, amongst the rest of the cast, of course)...

ACRONOMICON V
When Saint Nil Goes Marching In

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Atrocious. Really now, past-me. You should be able to write better than that.

[RabbitHoleLost]

And now, for something on a more positive note...

ACRONOMICON V
When Saint Nil Goes Marching In

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It was pitch black. Magtok was likely to be eaten by a Grue.

Somewhere, Django Reinhardt's instrumental version of Beyond the Sea was playing. Magtok recognized it instantly, having played BioShock before, and felt more than a little unnerved by the creepy music.

Stumbling about in the dark, he went towards the source of the music. Sure, it meant meeting this creepy musician person, whoever they'd turn out to be, but it was certainly not as bad as being all alone in this darkness.

There was a bit of splashing as he walked along. Someone had apparently saw fit to spill seawater all over the floor, which greatly annoyed Maggy as it soaked the bottom of his robes.

After quite a bit of walking, with his hand against a wall to prevent himself from getting lost, he found the source of the music, a decrepit wooden record player, with a small flourescent bulb above it. Below it were two or three marble steps, decorated in a black and white checkered design, which seemed to be just as old and torn as the record player.

The music came to a close, and Magtok quickly sought about restarting the thing. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing so. Maybe because he liked the song, but more likely because Reinhardt's tune was the only companion he had in this creepy, lonely darkness. He grabbed the needle, and accidentally pricked his finger on it. Blood became to drip on the record, slowly going from a gentle drip-drop to a gushing fountain, coloring the puddles around him a deep crimson with a mix of sea green.

Well that shouldn't happen...

Then again, there had been some issues with the cloning process before. This could be an unfortunate mutation with hemophilia. Regardless, it's not very fun to see one's blood drain away like that.

CLOMP...CLOMP...CLOMP...

Huge, slow, heavy footfalls were approaching. Dear gods, did it smell his blood? Was it hungry? Was it one of those diving suit freak things from BioShock? It sounded like one, made that same horrible moaning sound, it was definitely one.

With nowhere the run, Magtok desperately tries to get the music to play again, to have Beyond the Sea by his side again, but somehow his blood's already dried up on the thing and ruined it.

That whale-like moaning grew closer. He could hear a faint child's voice, a small child's tiny feet skipping along on the marble beside the massive clunking juggernaut. Magtok continued to try to get the thing to work, to get the song to continue, to-

AAARGH!

With a shout, he grabbed the thing and in frustration he smashed it against the marble floor, splitting the relic open.

Over there, Mordy! I hear one of them!

Oh gods. He just killed himself with that act, made his inevitable downfall come even sooner. In an act of desperation, Magtok grabbed the shattered record player, and hurried to the corner. There, he waited, shaking with adrenaline, waiting for the thing to show itself, to-

I see hi-IIIIEE!

Magtok savagely smashed the thing against the head of the behemoth repeatedly, cracking it even further, only succeeding in shoving the massive thing back a couple of inches in its confusion. A punch to the chest, and he sailed through the air and into a wall, smashing right through it, and sliding across the ground, until he's sitting against a large round pillar.

Magtok somehow managed to still feel nothing, but attributed it to the adrenaline still flowing through him. He tried to get back up, but his legs refused to cooperate, preferring instead to stay put. The thing lumbered over to him, drew back its drill-arm, made it begin to whir, and-

Magtok opened his eyes. Someone had put him in a gurney. Some of his mechanical bits were being repaired by a small, whirring drill thingy, and Sinatra...no, Vespe in a very convincing Sinatra voice was singing Somewhere Beyond the Sea, complete with trumpets and such. Though Magtok couldn't see Ratavo, he was absolutely certain that it was his bard buddy doing the crooning.

But none of that was important right now. Who put him in a gurney? Why did his head, and pretty much everything else hurt? And where the hell was he?

Oh! My beloved, you're finally awake! I hope you-

Something sounded a bit like someone shoving the lovestruck Surly out of the way and told to leave, and then said someone setting something down on a table across from Maggy. A moment later, our cyborg found Mordokai's face looming over him.

It seems we meet again, Magtok. Once again it seems you've succeeded in doing more harm to yourself than what was previously thought survivable. Tell me, just what was going through your mind when you thought you'd jump off a cliff with nothing but an UMBRELLA?!

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And as the protagonist, I kinda assumed any last-ditch effort combined with a cliffhanger ending would go well for me.

Yes, well it seems the author isn't quite as much a slave to those narrative devices as you thought, because Surly climbed down to get you, and now you're here, in Castle Frosthand.

Here in wha-?

Mordokai smirked, and leaned in closer towards Magtok, gently sliding a hand against Magtok's face, much to the cyborg's displeasure and to the joy of fangirls everywhere.

Yes, Magtok. Your otherworldly associate, the feared Elder Evil himself, has been beaten by the forces of good. While you were distracted by Surly, we moved out of our woodland headquarters, taking Rabbit with us, and we defeated that "snowflake who thinks he's Cthulhu", as you so aptly put once. If THUG can defeat an ancient monster like Draken Frosthand, what could you possibly do to stop me?

Magtok then responded by wrapped his hands on Mordokai's neck, and much to the fangirls' even greater joy, planted a kiss right on the nearly-fallen hero's lips.

And then, just before Magtok's scalpel could cut its way across the neck of the now blushing defender of justice, Saint Nil walked in.

Nil!
Nil!

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

Magtok quickly shoved Mordokai away, tucking the scalpel back into his sleeve. He opened his mouth to explain that none of what Nil had seen was what it looked like, that it was something else entirely, when Mordokai stepped in for him.

It was CPR, Nil. Magtok was choking on the err...

While he was telling me about how THUG took Draken's castle and life, I took his lunch to be mean but started choking on it.

That last comment from Maggy was pretty close to the truth. Before Nil had walked in, Magtok had grabbed Mordy's meal, intending to poison and put it back on the plate before the paladin noticed, in case the decapitation somehow failed. The thing was still tucked in his robes, and unfortunately, it seemed he wasn't going to get to kill Mordy even with that today, now that Nil had ruined everything.

Speaking of Nil, the aged warrior sighed, and shook his head.

The Heimlich maneuver is for choking on Mordokai's frankfurter, CPR's for people who've been drowning. Now if you two are done making out and Magtok's done trying to slit your throat, I'd like to have a word with our captive myself.

Mordokai's face was full of hurt as he stepped away from Magtok. Said hurt then quickly turned to cold hate, and a rather profane phrase was silently mouthed by the holy fighter before he stormed out of the room.

Alright, then. As I'm sure you've figured out, we've managed to capture both you and Vespe, who's happily playing BioShock due to his earlier cooperation. Happy however, put Masato in critical condition, and is still out there, somewhere. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could give us some sort of lead to her location, Magtok. I could probably talk the others into letting you go if you did that for me.

Magtok glared at the paladin. Not out of any sort of dislike, he actually thought Saint Nil was a pretty neat guy, for a paladin, but because it was the best sort of response he could think of.

And what makes you think I'd betray one of our trio for my own personal gain?

Because you're Magtok, of course.

Oh...Right. Well, you've got me there. Hmm...No, I don't have any ideas, sorry.

No, I think you're just giving up too easily, Mag. But never mind that, we'll get to her soon enough. What's important right now, is that you put considerable thought into turning. Make no mistake, we're doing our best to repair you, to help you, but if you don't give redemption a try, I'm afraid Mordokai's going to go against my orders and kill you in your sleep.

So? I've got plenty of clones.

Ah, right. Mordokai forgot to tell you, we've bribed AMEN to shut your cloning labs down. You're currently the last Magtok remaining.

What?! But...you...

Shock gave way to a hardening of features. Sure, there were a lot of trouble-makers in AMEN, but the thought of perma-killing their kill-toy (A job he didn't relish) was unspeakable. There was only one smelly elf who'd dare to do something that backstabby...

If I get out of this, someone back home is going to die forty-two times. With a spoon.

That's...interesting. In any case, would you consider joining us, Magtok? Your life, and not just one measly clone but your entire existence depends on it now. THUG is the way of the future now. It won't be long before the rest of the evil-doers are given the same offer as you, Mag.

Magtok bit his lip, trying to resist the urge to laugh. It slipped out as a bit of snickering, moved up a bit to chuckling, and then exploded into his signature evil villain laughter.

Where's the rebel? Join me and together we'll rule? I'll bet next you'll be claiming to be my dad or something, trying to use the whole nonexistent backstory thing against me.

Nil bit his lip for a moment, not quite sure how to put what he now had to explain. Magtok recognized the look, and immediately tried to take back that recognition.

No...no, that's not true!

I'm afraid it is. I'm not sure why you went and erased me from your memory, but Magtok I am your father. It's part of the reason why you have to join us, I can't go and let my son die a crook.

Magtok screamed at Nil. It was a lie, had to be, an elaborate lie, the old man had been practicing this for a while, no other reason why he could say such a thing with a straight face.

That's...that's impossible!

Search your heart, son. You know it to be true.

Meanwhile, far away from Saint Nil's dramatic revelation, Happy had finally found her way out of the woods, and turned into a large bird to perch in a dead tree beside Draken's once-proud castle, now the impromptu home of THUG. It was now all up to her to rescue her sister Rabbit.

I have a bad feeling about this...

The End

:: fangirls over Mordy/Maggy kisses::
Eeee~
Very interesting. Amusing.
Maggums gets love <3

[Midnight Son]

Saint Midnight

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Midnight Son was walking through a park and saw a child crying. What's wrong little girl?

That man stole mah Lollipop. She points at a strnag looking man, where a blue fur coat, and licking a lollipop.

I'll get it back for you. And he magically make sthe lollipop reappear in the childs hand. It is fresh and clean, as if it'd never been licked. There you go.

Thank you mister.

Midnight Son smiled, and walked away, humming a strange tune.

THE END

Whew! Now I don't feel so bad about being such a colossal jerk in other fics.

[Lex-Kat]

You're welcome. It makes me cry no one else said anything about it. I thought it was rather good.

[Dragonrider]

Hey Curly -

I could be RHL/Happy's mommy if you still need one

[Raistlin1040]

Poison: Raistlin/RHL

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You know what Rabbit hated? She hated being thought of as a Sexy Vampire. Oh she was beautiful, yes, and it was a natural trait of vampirism to be percieved by humans as dangerously sexual. But in a day and age where vampires were portrayed as sluts and/or romantics who just happened to partake in the drinking of human blood on occasion, Rabbit was constantly irked by the myth. They were PREDATORS, for gawd's sake. There was nothing more romantic about her biting a stupid human's neck than a carniverous plant luring a moth in with it's beauty.

She didn't even need to be beautiful. She could have been mutilated, repulsive, and she still would be an excellent hunter. She was fast, smart, strong, cunning. She knew how to keep herself alive. She fed almost every night. She was good at what she did, very good.

Still, immortality comes with a price, one of them boredom. And so, she often spent nights, before or after she hunted, in a library, reading. That's when HE sat down. Brown hair, brown eyes, light skin, throbbing veins. Rabbit knew what he was at once. A Slayer. She could smell it, of course, but even more, she could see it. It was a Vampire thing, noticing veins so much, but his had almost no color. She knew that if she bit him, the blood that would flow wouldn't be a dark scarlet or crimson, but a pale pink. If the bloodline was strong enough, maybe even white.

Knowledge about Slayers is perhaps required to explain. A Slayer was one whose ancestors had fought one of her kind, and won. In some strange thought, the barbaric humans had thought that feeding on the blood of the slain vampires would allow them the powers of the nightspawn, but none of the weaknesses. Unfortunately for them, all it did was lighten their blood, almost angelic, the perfect opposite to Hell's Vampires.

Rabbit clenched her fist under the table. Slayers always had to smell so damned delicious didn't they? The man looked at her, Rabbit looking obviously in pain. Excuse me miss, are you alright? He asked. Rabbit bit her lip with a fang, wincing. She nodded. Yes, I'm fine. She spat out after a moment. The man smiled. I'm Raistlin. Rabbit. Rabbit replied coldly after a moment. Raistlin looked at her strangely, as if something were wrong. After a moment, he shook his head.

He was so bothersome, the way he kept trying to initiate conversations. She couldn't kill him. Well, she could, literally kill him, but there were at least four other people around, and it wouldn't do to kill them all in a night. She offered one word answers when applicable, and short answers when not, trying to make Raistlin go away. He persisted, talking and talking and gawd damned talking. At midnight, she excused herself, grabbing a pedestrian off the empty street and sucking her dry.

Rabbit wanted to bite Raistlin. Not kill him, turn him. It was something of a sadistic pleasure all vampires shared. Turn the Slayers, always. Turn that which hates into what it hates most. Yes, she would bite Raistlin, and he would become one of them. Drinking the blood from the girl she had found, Rabbit smiled maliciously. The next few days went the same, she wanted to bite him, but there were always people around. It drove her mad, she wanted him undead damnit!

Only when she stopped to pay attention to his nightly questions at the library did she realize something. He was completely infatuated with her. At first, she was annoyed by the thought. She didn't want to be a seductive vampire, it wasn't her nature. However, a few minutes later, she realized she could use it to her advantage, without exploiting it and buying into the stupid stereotype.

Say Raistlin? Why don't you stop by my house tomorrow and have dinner? Say around 7ish? Rabbit asked. Raistlin grinned. Yeah, sure. Rabbit tried to smile as kindly as possible, though she was certain it still looked mildly scary and wrote down the address of the run-down shack she used as her base. The door won't be locked, just come in. She said, grabbing her book and exitting, leaving a happy Raistlin at the table.

He showed up at the shack the next night. Now, it wasn't so run down that it looked unlivable, but Raistlin was suprised that such a beautiful and charismatic woman lived in such a broken home. He knocked, to no answer. Shrugging, he opened up the door. SLAM! The door shut behind him. There were no windows, no lights, it was pitch black. Raistlin blinked in suprise.

Rabbit? Rabbit are you here? Unbeknownst to him, Rabbit was only a couple of yards away from him. Yes Raistlin, I'm right here. She said, her voice seeming to surround the room. A subconcious shiver ran down Raistlin's spine. Uh, can you, uh, turn on the lights please? Rabbit smirked. What's the matter Raistlin, scared of the dark? She moved quickly, and Raistlin could feel her presence right behind him. What...what's going on? He said shakily. Rabbit supressed a laugh. Here's how it's going to go. I'm going to bite your neck with my fangs, drink your blood, and you're going to become a vampire. Don't scream. At first, Raistlin though she was kidding. When the truth dawned on him, he paled, something Rabbit saw with her darkness-adjusted eyes.

You...you're serious. Raistlin said, scared. Rabbit please...please don't do this. I love you, please don't. He said, shaking on the spot. Rabbit rolled her eyes, though he couldn't see. Still, she decided to humor him. That's nice. I love you too, sweetheart. Raistlin froze. Are you...are you serious? He asked confused. A sinister laugh broke free from Rabbit's mouth. Of course. You're a Slayer, I'm sure your heart will taste very sweet indeed. Raistlin's eyes widened, and he started to scream. Rabbit frowned and moved in front of him. With unprecedented speed, she shoved him back into a wall, crushing his ribs and knocking the wind out of him. Rabbit laughed as his screams came to an abrupt end. She pressed her lips to his neck, opened her mouth, and bit. The pink blood flowed from the bite, and she drank it eagerly...

Rabbit looked down at Raistlin to admire her handiwork. His ribs were broken and (true to her promise) she had ripped open his chest and drank the blood straight from his still-beating heart. His face contorted in agony, the transformation was already beginning, his face paling, blood leaking from his mouth as fangs pushed through, his dark eyes shifting towards a red. It would be a good few hours before he was concious again. Rabbit knelt down and flicked her tongue at the blood dribbling down his lips. I know you can't hear me Raistlin, but you are simply delicious. The sweetest of all poisons. She said quietly, smirking in the dark.

[Reinholdt]

@ Lex- It was very sweet.

@ TBW-Another great parody. "I'm too rich to die." Perfect.

@ Mordokai- Incredibly bittersweet and romantic Mordokai. It was very good, and I'm glad you posted it. Your work is good. Don't stop.

@ Magtok- You really know how to keep the story twisting (and twisted).

@ Raistlin- Well written and so very appropriate considering. Creepy Rabbit is still creepy...

[RabbitHoleLost]

Mordokai: I'm not sure how I missed this. Its mournfully beautiful.
I'm glad you shared it with us
:: hugs::
Raistlin: Creepy Rabbit approves.
<3

[Raistlin1040]

Yay I have Creepy Rabbit's approval!

[Deathslayer7]

Losing Battles

starring Reinholdt, Draco, Happy, RHL, Mordokai, Mangosta, Wolfbane, and Recaiden.

Spoiler

Show

Reinholdt hung the lamp up on the wire provided above the table. It gave very little illumination, barely lighting the room, and keeping most of the cells dark. Reinholdt smiled, amused as the three ladies before him tried to protect one another.

He pulled out his knife, fingering it slowly. Then he took a step towards the women. All three took a step back. He smiled even more.

Reinholdt moved back and started to pace while speaking.

There's nothing more enjoyable then seeing the terror in someone's eyes. To know that their last moment is coming, and there is nothing they can do about it. That terror, no true terror, in their eyes before they glaze over makes any man want to kill and see it again.

Although there is something better, by far. Do you know what that is? he asked them. He got no reply, but wasn't expecting any.

It's breaking a woman's spirit, such as you three. Tearing it down to the bare soul. Making you scream, shout and plead, and yet you know that their is nothing you can do about it, even though you try.

That is where the true pleasure lies. Reinholdt shuddered, his skin excited with goosebumps.

Now my question to you three is this. Who shall I start with?

He recieved no answer.

If you won't pick, then I shall choose! and reached out and grabbed Happy by her shirt, pulling her close. RHL and Draco shouted, and tried charging him. A boot to the stomach knocked Draco to the ground, and he easily dodged and tripped Rabbit, sending her sprawling to the floor.

He grabbed Happy's struggling arms, and pinned them against him.

Do you feel the terror gripping you yet? he asked, smiling.

Happy pulled her elbow back and hit Reinholdt in the stomach. He let out a soft grunt, but let Happy go anyway.

He watched as the three ladies picked themselves back up.

I'm going to enjoy this. he said, grinning.
------------------------------------------------------------
Mordokai peered down at the small cuts on his arms, torso, and legs. Mangosta could move faster then him, but the wounds he gave were minimal, but they were starting to pile up. If he kept at it like this, he was going to lose. And he still hadn't managed to land a wound on Mangosta.

He growled slightly to himself. Captain of the Queen's Gaurd, and this is all he could amount to. Yelling, he charged Mangosta again.

Once again, he was expertly deflected by Mangosta. Mordokai brought up his boot, only to get a caught on his leg again, as Mangosta dodged it.

He cursed again.

Having trouble there captain? Mangosta asked, mocking him. It seems that you are no match for a Commandeer such as myself. Whatever did Nil see in you, I do not know. You're no match against me.

I'm your better ten times over! Mordokai shouted back.

You aren't proving it to me. Mangosta said, smiling. It sounds almost like your crying. I want to see you cry Mordokai. Will you cry for me? Mangosta continued, still mocking him.

Mordokai shouted once more, and charged him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Recaiden smiled slighty, peering at Wolfbane, who had blood dripping into his eye. He wiped it away once more, but seconds later, it returned. He let out a low growl.

That's the beauty about face wounds. Recaiden said. They don't stop bleeding unless you apply strong pressure to them over a period of time.

Shut your trap! Wolfbane said. I still managed to get you!

Recaiden peered down on his torso wound, a frown on his face. Hmmm. It seems that you did. Quite an acheivement i might say, but only because I miscalculated your long reach. It won't happen again.

We shall see about that. Wolfbane said, and charged the man once more.

enjoy!
*hides from Reinholdt for obvious reasons*

[happyturtle]

Hey Curly -

I could be RHL/Happy's mommy if you still need one

I'm still looking for volunteers for Turtle's mother and Rabbit's mother. (Two different women, neither of them very nice people)

I could just use npcs though.

[Lex-Kat]

That was almost perfect, Deathslayer7. There was just one thing missing.

Seriously. I love it.

And look. No one posted a story, immediately after yours.

[Deathslayer7]

That was almost perfect, Deathslayer7. There was just one thing missing.

Seriously. I love it.

and that would be?

[Lex-Kat]

Me, of course.

[happyturtle]

Very well done, ds7. You're very good at setting the scene, and scary Reinholdt is scary.

Course I'd have just charged him before he got his speech out, but I don't mind dramatic license being taken in the service of such a great story.

[ghost_warlock]

*doin' the recent-fic-commments shuffle*

@Koorli: More literary deliciousness. Have I ever told you how much I love the word 'undulate'? Oh, and the plot is good, too.

@Lex: That's wonderful! I can haz Lex-fic?

@2bw: I gotta say, I love this fic. It was appropriately sad when it needed to be in order to carry the story forward and it ended on a funny note to keep it very Playground-friendly. Also, I'd like to point how much I enjoyed/appreciated the way you've written me/my namesake, here. Very appropriate with the way I see myself reacting in such a circumstance: cold and aloof, a bit snarky. The Transgressor's questions are beneath my notice. When I do deem to answer I am curt and perhaps a bit haughty. Do not touch me, you might get me dirty.

@Mordy: ... *goes to listen to Crossfade* (i.e., dude, you nailed it. The memories, they burn...)
Also, I would like to point out that I am a little annoyed with you for the whole falling thing. I was hoping, one-day L.H. would run a contest for 'Fallen Paladin'-itp and you suck because you're the shoe-in winner. And I was so hoping for a contest I'd have a glimmer of a hope of winning, even if I didn't end up going blackguard... Oh, well, I'll get over it. Eventually.

@Maggums: I read the first line and had to pause a few minutes before I could continue. I don't suppose I could bribe someone into shipping me wiht a Grue? *mind wanders off* Oh! Anyway, the rest is ROFLMAO, too.

@Raistlin: Another creepily-romantic fic from the master...

@ds7: "Do you feel the terror gripping you yet?" <go with it now and let it overcome you...> "Will you cry for me?" si vis me flere dolendum est primum ipsi tibi

[Reinholdt]

@ deathslayer7- O.o So many things I could say, but don't know how. Very well made.

Heh. Just like old times again.

[happyturtle]

And now, for something on a happier note (And starring Happy, amongst the rest of the cast, of course)...

ACRONOMICON V
When Saint Nil Goes Marching In

It was pitch black. Magtok was likely to be eaten by a Grue.

...

Mordokai's face was full of hurt as he stepped away from Magtok. Said hurt then quickly turned to cold hate, and a rather profane phrase was silently mouthed by the holy fighter before he stormed out of the room.

...

Magtok glared at the paladin. Not out of any sort of dislike, he actually thought Saint Nil was a pretty neat guy, for a paladin, but because it was the best sort of response he could think of.

...
I have a bad feeling about this...

The End

*wild applause* My favorite bits quoted above. Well done, Magtok.

[Saint Nil]

And now, for something on a happier note (And starring Happy, amongst the rest of the cast, of course)...

ACRONOMICON V
When Saint Nil Goes Marching In

Spoiler

Show

It was pitch black. Magtok was likely to be eaten by a Grue.

Somewhere, Django Reinhardt's instrumental version of Beyond the Sea was playing. Magtok recognized it instantly, having played BioShock before, and felt more than a little unnerved by the creepy music.

Stumbling about in the dark, he went towards the source of the music. Sure, it meant meeting this creepy musician person, whoever they'd turn out to be, but it was certainly not as bad as being all alone in this darkness.

There was a bit of splashing as he walked along. Someone had apparently saw fit to spill seawater all over the floor, which greatly annoyed Maggy as it soaked the bottom of his robes.

After quite a bit of walking, with his hand against a wall to prevent himself from getting lost, he found the source of the music, a decrepit wooden record player, with a small flourescent bulb above it. Below it were two or three marble steps, decorated in a black and white checkered design, which seemed to be just as old and torn as the record player.

The music came to a close, and Magtok quickly sought about restarting the thing. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing so. Maybe because he liked the song, but more likely because Reinhardt's tune was the only companion he had in this creepy, lonely darkness. He grabbed the needle, and accidentally pricked his finger on it. Blood became to drip on the record, slowly going from a gentle drip-drop to a gushing fountain, coloring the puddles around him a deep crimson with a mix of sea green.

Well that shouldn't happen...

Then again, there had been some issues with the cloning process before. This could be an unfortunate mutation with hemophilia. Regardless, it's not very fun to see one's blood drain away like that.

CLOMP...CLOMP...CLOMP...

Huge, slow, heavy footfalls were approaching. Dear gods, did it smell his blood? Was it hungry? Was it one of those diving suit freak things from BioShock? It sounded like one, made that same horrible moaning sound, it was definitely one.

With nowhere the run, Magtok desperately tries to get the music to play again, to have Beyond the Sea by his side again, but somehow his blood's already dried up on the thing and ruined it.

That whale-like moaning grew closer. He could hear a faint child's voice, a small child's tiny feet skipping along on the marble beside the massive clunking juggernaut. Magtok continued to try to get the thing to work, to get the song to continue, to-

AAARGH!

With a shout, he grabbed the thing and in frustration he smashed it against the marble floor, splitting the relic open.

Over there, Mordy! I hear one of them!

Oh gods. He just killed himself with that act, made his inevitable downfall come even sooner. In an act of desperation, Magtok grabbed the shattered record player, and hurried to the corner. There, he waited, shaking with adrenaline, waiting for the thing to show itself, to-

I see hi-IIIIEE!

Magtok savagely smashed the thing against the head of the behemoth repeatedly, cracking it even further, only succeeding in shoving the massive thing back a couple of inches in its confusion. A punch to the chest, and he sailed through the air and into a wall, smashing right through it, and sliding across the ground, until he's sitting against a large round pillar.

Magtok somehow managed to still feel nothing, but attributed it to the adrenaline still flowing through him. He tried to get back up, but his legs refused to cooperate, preferring instead to stay put. The thing lumbered over to him, drew back its drill-arm, made it begin to whir, and-

Magtok opened his eyes. Someone had put him in a gurney. Some of his mechanical bits were being repaired by a small, whirring drill thingy, and Sinatra...no, Vespe in a very convincing Sinatra voice was singing Somewhere Beyond the Sea, complete with trumpets and such. Though Magtok couldn't see Ratavo, he was absolutely certain that it was his bard buddy doing the crooning.

But none of that was important right now. Who put him in a gurney? Why did his head, and pretty much everything else hurt? And where the hell was he?

Oh! My beloved, you're finally awake! I hope you-

Something sounded a bit like someone shoving the lovestruck Surly out of the way and told to leave, and then said someone setting something down on a table across from Maggy. A moment later, our cyborg found Mordokai's face looming over him.

It seems we meet again, Magtok. Once again it seems you've succeeded in doing more harm to yourself than what was previously thought survivable. Tell me, just what was going through your mind when you thought you'd jump off a cliff with nothing but an UMBRELLA?!

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And as the protagonist, I kinda assumed any last-ditch effort combined with a cliffhanger ending would go well for me.

Yes, well it seems the author isn't quite as much a slave to those narrative devices as you thought, because Surly climbed down to get you, and now you're here, in Castle Frosthand.

Here in wha-?

Mordokai smirked, and leaned in closer towards Magtok, gently sliding a hand against Magtok's face, much to the cyborg's displeasure and to the joy of fangirls everywhere.

Yes, Magtok. Your otherworldly associate, the feared Elder Evil himself, has been beaten by the forces of good. While you were distracted by Surly, we moved out of our woodland headquarters, taking Rabbit with us, and we defeated that "snowflake who thinks he's Cthulhu", as you so aptly put once. If THUG can defeat an ancient monster like Draken Frosthand, what could you possibly do to stop me?

Magtok then responded by wrapped his hands on Mordokai's neck, and much to the fangirls' even greater joy, planted a kiss right on the nearly-fallen hero's lips.

And then, just before Magtok's scalpel could cut its way across the neck of the now blushing defender of justice, Saint Nil walked in.

Nil!
Nil!

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

Magtok quickly shoved Mordokai away, tucking the scalpel back into his sleeve. He opened his mouth to explain that none of what Nil had seen was what it looked like, that it was something else entirely, when Mordokai stepped in for him.

It was CPR, Nil. Magtok was choking on the err...

While he was telling me about how THUG took Draken's castle and life, I took his lunch to be mean but started choking on it.

That last comment from Maggy was pretty close to the truth. Before Nil had walked in, Magtok had grabbed Mordy's meal, intending to poison and put it back on the plate before the paladin noticed, in case the decapitation somehow failed. The thing was still tucked in his robes, and unfortunately, it seemed he wasn't going to get to kill Mordy even with that today, now that Nil had ruined everything.

Speaking of Nil, the aged warrior sighed, and shook his head.

The Heimlich maneuver is for choking on Mordokai's frankfurter, CPR's for people who've been drowning. Now if you two are done making out and Magtok's done trying to slit your throat, I'd like to have a word with our captive myself.

Mordokai's face was full of hurt as he stepped away from Magtok. Said hurt then quickly turned to cold hate, and a rather profane phrase was silently mouthed by the holy fighter before he stormed out of the room.

Alright, then. As I'm sure you've figured out, we've managed to capture both you and Vespe, who's happily playing BioShock due to his earlier cooperation. Happy however, put Masato in critical condition, and is still out there, somewhere. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could give us some sort of lead to her location, Magtok. I could probably talk the others into letting you go if you did that for me.

Magtok glared at the paladin. Not out of any sort of dislike, he actually thought Saint Nil was a pretty neat guy, for a paladin, but because it was the best sort of response he could think of.

And what makes you think I'd betray one of our trio for my own personal gain?

Because you're Magtok, of course.

Oh...Right. Well, you've got me there. Hmm...No, I don't have any ideas, sorry.

No, I think you're just giving up too easily, Mag. But never mind that, we'll get to her soon enough. What's important right now, is that you put considerable thought into turning. Make no mistake, we're doing our best to repair you, to help you, but if you don't give redemption a try, I'm afraid Mordokai's going to go against my orders and kill you in your sleep.

So? I've got plenty of clones.

Ah, right. Mordokai forgot to tell you, we've bribed AMEN to shut your cloning labs down. You're currently the last Magtok remaining.

What?! But...you...

Shock gave way to a hardening of features. Sure, there were a lot of trouble-makers in AMEN, but the thought of perma-killing their kill-toy (A job he didn't relish) was unspeakable. There was only one smelly elf who'd dare to do something that backstabby...

If I get out of this, someone back home is going to die forty-two times. With a spoon.

That's...interesting. In any case, would you consider joining us, Magtok? Your life, and not just one measly clone but your entire existence depends on it now. THUG is the way of the future now. It won't be long before the rest of the evil-doers are given the same offer as you, Mag.

Magtok bit his lip, trying to resist the urge to laugh. It slipped out as a bit of snickering, moved up a bit to chuckling, and then exploded into his signature evil villain laughter.

Where's the rebel? Join me and together we'll rule? I'll bet next you'll be claiming to be my dad or something, trying to use the whole nonexistent backstory thing against me.

Nil bit his lip for a moment, not quite sure how to put what he now had to explain. Magtok recognized the look, and immediately tried to take back that recognition.

No...no, that's not true!

I'm afraid it is. I'm not sure why you went and erased me from your memory, but Magtok I am your father. It's part of the reason why you have to join us, I can't go and let my son die a crook.

Magtok screamed at Nil. It was a lie, had to be, an elaborate lie, the old man had been practicing this for a while, no other reason why he could say such a thing with a straight face.

That's...that's impossible!

Search your heart, son. You know it to be true.

Meanwhile, far away from Saint Nil's dramatic revelation, Happy had finally found her way out of the woods, and turned into a large bird to perch in a dead tree beside Draken's once-proud castle, now the impromptu home of THUG. It was now all up to her to rescue her sister Rabbit.

I have a bad feeling about this...

The End

Come to the light side Magtok. We can then rule the playgrund as father and son!

*stumbles back to bed*

Stupid diseases.