Shippingitp IV: Flattery Will Get You EVERYWHERE

[Lord Magtok]

See, this is why we need more people on Team Evil. Mordy can't stand against the assembled forces of good without some backup.

*Offers much-needed aid*

[Recaiden]

*enthusiastically raises hand*

The typical "Santa's been captured by the forces of darkness, we're here to rescue him and there's tons of laughs and romance on the way" comes to mind.

And Reinholdt has to lead the way through the fog.
A Christmas Carol has already been done.

@^Sad, but not depressing. And we have an INDEX!?

[Reinholdt]

Hmmm, possibly. Or maybe the classic It's A Wonderful Life/Playground?
And if you think that's depressing I piont you in the direction of our index. There are fics there that have made people cry.
A lot of stuff by RHL, especially her Raistlin/RHL stuff (likewise for Rasistlins' RHL/Riast stuff); there's that one by Dirk Kris with . . . Brandi and Raistlin is it?
Veneers by Curly has made RHL and some others cry. Others have told my that most of the Letters ever written for the Shipping threads are sad.
. . .
Perhaps I should stop bringing a Christmassy thread feeling down with suggestions about how to make people depressed/cry.

@Mangosta: thankees.

Indeed, you people make me cry almost every 3rd or 4th ship .

Cristo practically had me bawling with his ending.

[mangosta71]

Aye, the index is in the first two or three posts of the thread, courtesy of our favorite Rabbit.

Anyhoo, I'm always up for a villain role. At best neutral.

We should also address the question of what causes the red nose if you do a Rudolph fic. I suspect it's due to all the boozing he does.

[Korith]

See, this is why we need more people on Team Evil. Mordy can't stand against the assembled forces of good without some backup.

On that note, Korith tends to qualify as a mercenary of Lawful Evil. He plays well with practically anything that's not a "traditional" Paladin, typically seeking long-term profitable arrangements for himself and his associates (namely the Fiendish Arsenal Hellish Weapons at a Heavenly Price)

[Cristo Meyers]

Cristo practically had me bawling with his ending.

Hey, can't break a paladin without breaking a few hearts...

[happyturtle]

There's also the question of who Mordy is going to war against. I'm thinking Nil.

[Reinholdt]

Hey, can't break a paladin without breaking a few hearts...

I liked my heart!
*shoots at Cristo*

[Cristo Meyers]

I liked my heart!
*shoots at Cristo*

I liked my soul...sacrificed that too, if you'll remember

[Recaiden]

I still feel that Veneer was slightly less depressing. Very haunting and sad though. I think we need to fight to Stop poor Mordokai, not against him.

[Reinholdt]

I still feel that Veneer was slightly less depressing. Very haunting and sad though. I think we need to fight to Stop poor Mordokai, not against him.

While some aren't fighting against him, some are. And he's bringing the fight to others.

Not everyone views the situation the same, of course.

*grumbles at Cristo* You still made me mad at Celestine, too! On top of it all! *grumbles*

[Cristo Meyers]

*grumbles at Cristo* You still made me mad at Celestine, too! On top of it all! *grumbles*

For what? Dying or warning Serpentine that you were about to blow Mi'ir's brains out and thus pretty much ending the story since you and Wolfbane were the only two that weren't tangled up in the web the Order of the Dark Moon and Mi'ir had woven and thus were the only ones with a chance to unravel it?

...I think somewhere in that mess I just answered my own question...

[Reinholdt]

For what? Dying or warning Serpentine that you were about to blow Mi'ir's brains out and thus pretty much ending the story since you and Wolfbane were the only two that weren't tangled up in the web the Order of the Dark Moon and Mi'ir had woven and thus were the only ones with a chance to unravel it?

...I think somewhere in that mess I just answered my own question...

Er... actually it was for helping Mi'ir in his path of madness, rather than trying to help him overcome it like she should have been doing.

[TwoBitWriter]

Remember when shipping was a happy occasion with the occasional heartbreak?

This is the only thread I follow religiously, and I still get damn confused sometimes!

Cristo, never got your opinion on the last Carol!

[Cristo Meyers]

You know I liked it. How could I not?

Er... actually it was for helping Mi'ir in his path of madness, rather than trying to help him overcome it like she should have been doing.

Familiar, not independent...

She was born of him...

[Reinholdt]

Familiar, not independent...

She was born of him...

Hmm. Me and you have different viewpoints on familiars then.
*thinks*
*smacks Cristo anyways*

[Destro_Yersul]

I, at least, am in the Happy, silly, only occasionally sad stage of writing. Oh, and I had an idea for Destro to fit in with the Redemption series. If no one likes it it doesn't have to be canon, but this is how I intend to set my lich up for inclusion in the story.

Long Distance Call

Possible Redemption Fic
Starring Destro and RHL, Mordokai and Nil mentioned.

Spoiler

Show

Destro paced his tower, glancing at the map on his table every so often. His frown deepened every time he did this. Mordokai was massing an army, and if the target ended up being who Destro suspected it would be, that put his tower right in the warpath.

Blast and damnation. This was a much safer location before he had to go and fall. Destro sighed and pushed a few pieces around on his map. He had no real idea about the size of the army, but he knew it was big and there was no way he would be able to stop it alone, for all his power. I hate paladins. Especially fallen ones...

He left the room then, heading for the top of the tower. He could only hope that Mordokai's army would pass him over. Destro was no illusionist, and there was no way he was going to be hiding or moving the tower. He would have to get what defenses he had in proper working order just in case.

The study was a mess. It always was. But this was where he did all his work, and the remains of various projects and papers were strewn around the room. The first thing that caught his attention though, was the mirror.

It was blinking at him. The lich sighed. So someone called while I was out, did they? Alright. Call them back.

The Mirror flashed a few times and Destro went over to stand in front of it. When he saw who it was, he wasn't surprised. Hello, Rabbit. I suppose I should have expected this.

You would have. You always seem to know everything before anyone says it.

Not at all. Usually I'm just lucky. This time though, I think I'm going to be caught in the middle of a fight I can't win.

So join us then. Help us fight to get Mordokai back.

Destro sighs. I'm sorry. I can't. Not yet, anyways. I'm right between him and Nil, and I have to hope he'll just go by me. If I try to interfere, there's no chance of that happening.

Destro. He's.. he's got Turtle. She hasn't come back yet, and... Rabbit couldn't keep the strain out of her voice. She had a lot on her mind, and Destro's refusal to do anything couldn't have helped.

Look, Rabbit, I'm sorry, ok? I'd like to help you. Mordokai already has enough incentive to attack my tower though, just because it's in his way, and full of all the stuff I've collected over the years. I have to try and remain neutral. If he attacks anyways, well... The lich raised his arms helplessly. I'll blow up a bunch of soldiers and make my escape.

You're sure you can't do anything?

I never knew Mordokai. I know you did. Rabbit, I'll do what I can to help you, ok? But it'll have to be secret. I can't act openly, and no-one else must know I'm involved.

Back in her citadel, Rabbit looked at her own mirror sadly. She knew that was all she was likely to get from Destro, at least for now. Alright. It'll have to do. I'll call you if I think of something for you to do.

I'll be waiting.

[Saint Nil]

Sure, I'll be the army defending agasint Mordokai.


@Destro-Very nice. I'd like to see you end up helping Rabbit art the last minute though.

[happyturtle]

I, at least, am in the Happy, silly, only occasionally sad stage of writing. Oh, and I had an idea for Destro to fit in with the Redemption series. If no one likes it it doesn't have to be canon, but this is how I intend to set my lich up for inclusion in the story.

Long Distance Call

Possible Redemption Fic
Starring Destro and RHL, Mordokai and Nil mentioned.

Spoiler

Show

Destro paced his tower, glancing at the map on his table every so often. His frown deepened every time he did this. Mordokai was massing an army, and if the target ended up being who Destro suspected it would be, that put his tower right in the warpath.

Blast and damnation. This was a much safer location before he had to go and fall. Destro sighed and pushed a few pieces around on his map. He had no real idea about the size of the army, but he knew it was big and there was no way he would be able to stop it alone, for all his power. I hate paladins. Especially fallen ones...

He left the room then, heading for the top of the tower. He could only hope that Mordokai's army would pass him over. Destro was no illusionist, and there was no way he was going to be hiding or moving the tower. He would have to get what defenses he had in proper working order just in case.

The study was a mess. It always was. But this was where he did all his work, and the remains of various projects and papers were strewn around the room. The first thing that caught his attention though, was the mirror.

It was blinking at him. The lich sighed. So someone called while I was out, did they? Alright. Call them back.

The Mirror flashed a few times and Destro went over to stand in front of it. When he saw who it was, he wasn't surprised. Hello, Rabbit. I suppose I should have expected this.

You would have. You always seem to know everything before anyone says it.

Not at all. Usually I'm just lucky. This time though, I think I'm going to be caught in the middle of a fight I can't win.

So join us then. Help us fight to get Mordokai back.

Destro sighs. I'm sorry. I can't. Not yet, anyways. I'm right between him and Nil, and I have to hope he'll just go by me. If I try to interfere, there's no chance of that happening.

Destro. He's.. he's got Turtle. She hasn't come back yet, and... Rabbit couldn't keep the strain out of her voice. She had a lot on her mind, and Destro's refusal to do anything couldn't have helped.

Look, Rabbit, I'm sorry, ok? I'd like to help you. Mordokai already has enough incentive to attack my tower though, just because it's in his way, and full of all the stuff I've collected over the years. I have to try and remain neutral. If he attacks anyways, well... The lich raised his arms helplessly. I'll blow up a bunch of soldiers and make my escape.

You're sure you can't do anything?

I never knew Mordokai. I know you did. Rabbit, I'll do what I can to help you, ok? But it'll have to be secret. I can't act openly, and no-one else must know I'm involved.

Back in her citadel, Rabbit looked at her own mirror sadly. She knew that was all she was likely to get from Destro, at least for now. Alright. It'll have to do. I'll call you if I think of something for you to do.

I'll be waiting.

I like it.

[Reinholdt]

Yay! Good work Destro.

[RabbitHoleLost]

I, at least, am in the Happy, silly, only occasionally sad stage of writing. Oh, and I had an idea for Destro to fit in with the Redemption series. If no one likes it it doesn't have to be canon, but this is how I intend to set my lich up for inclusion in the story.

Long Distance Call

Possible Redemption Fic
Starring Destro and RHL, Mordokai and Nil mentioned.

Spoiler

Show

Destro paced his tower, glancing at the map on his table every so often. His frown deepened every time he did this. Mordokai was massing an army, and if the target ended up being who Destro suspected it would be, that put his tower right in the warpath.

Blast and damnation. This was a much safer location before he had to go and fall. Destro sighed and pushed a few pieces around on his map. He had no real idea about the size of the army, but he knew it was big and there was no way he would be able to stop it alone, for all his power. I hate paladins. Especially fallen ones...

He left the room then, heading for the top of the tower. He could only hope that Mordokai's army would pass him over. Destro was no illusionist, and there was no way he was going to be hiding or moving the tower. He would have to get what defenses he had in proper working order just in case.

The study was a mess. It always was. But this was where he did all his work, and the remains of various projects and papers were strewn around the room. The first thing that caught his attention though, was the mirror.

It was blinking at him. The lich sighed. So someone called while I was out, did they? Alright. Call them back.

The Mirror flashed a few times and Destro went over to stand in front of it. When he saw who it was, he wasn't surprised. Hello, Rabbit. I suppose I should have expected this.

You would have. You always seem to know everything before anyone says it.

Not at all. Usually I'm just lucky. This time though, I think I'm going to be caught in the middle of a fight I can't win.

So join us then. Help us fight to get Mordokai back.

Destro sighs. I'm sorry. I can't. Not yet, anyways. I'm right between him and Nil, and I have to hope he'll just go by me. If I try to interfere, there's no chance of that happening.

Destro. He's.. he's got Turtle. She hasn't come back yet, and... Rabbit couldn't keep the strain out of her voice. She had a lot on her mind, and Destro's refusal to do anything couldn't have helped.

Look, Rabbit, I'm sorry, ok? I'd like to help you. Mordokai already has enough incentive to attack my tower though, just because it's in his way, and full of all the stuff I've collected over the years. I have to try and remain neutral. If he attacks anyways, well... The lich raised his arms helplessly. I'll blow up a bunch of soldiers and make my escape.

You're sure you can't do anything?

I never knew Mordokai. I know you did. Rabbit, I'll do what I can to help you, ok? But it'll have to be secret. I can't act openly, and no-one else must know I'm involved.

Back in her citadel, Rabbit looked at her own mirror sadly. She knew that was all she was likely to get from Destro, at least for now. Alright. It'll have to do. I'll call you if I think of something for you to do.

I'll be waiting.

Emotional turmoil, I tell you!
Everyone's all upset, and its Mordokai's fault!

[Reinholdt]

Emotional turmoil, I tell you!
Everyone's all upset, and its Mordokai's fault!

Wrong. It's Cristo's fault for writing such a good ship.

[ghost_warlock]

*has had a chance to read over the new fics cuz he just woke up *

re: Keeping Mordy Evil - well, if you want to add Pickman to the list, go for it. Like I said, he doesn't have an emotional stake in the issue, or really anything to gain either way, but he'll certainly amuse himself taunting the ever-unliving crap out of Mordy at ever opportunity. Gotta be worth some points towards staying evil. Combatively, Pickman doesn't have much more prowess than your typical ghoul, but he's quite a bit smarter and won't allow himself to be captured (can't really be drugged, poisoned, or knocked unconscious if that becomes an issue). He can certainly be killed off so feel free to play it that route if you want; he'll just be reformed in a couple days anyway.

[Midnight Son]

I think I'm s'posed to be Rabbit's jackass of a father or some such, But I always get a kick out of playing the bad guy, so feel free to include me in the Keep Mordakai Evil camp.

[Helgraf]

Alright, ya'll should know I can't resist a good ship series ....

Echoes hanging... (A Redemption ship)

Happyturtle / Helgraf / Mordokai (brief)

Spoiler

Show

... Mordokai threw his cloak around his shoulders and stormed out into the pre-dawn light. Happyturtle remained inside, weeping quietly on the tent floor. ...

The wind whistled, harsh and shrill through the encampment. Another reminder to the once paladin of the truth of power and the limitations of the path he had once trod. He moved with determination but strangely adrift of purpose; only anger fuelled his steps, a precious eggshell concealing the consuming void within. It would not crack. He would not crack.

"I am free, damn it," he cursed under his breath, slamming a black-gauntled hand into the palm of the other likewise borne. He continued into the night, seeking satisfaction ... seeking purpose, someone to discipline, to punish. Though he would never admit it, seeking distraction. Let ice cold order and red hot passion combine and shatter any resistance. Even his own.

Back at the tent, the flap flared once in a stiff breeze. Happyturtle still wept, but more slowly now. A sibilant voice whispered in the air, and she was instantly alert; sorrow tucked aside as her instincts shifted into overdrive, sensing her environment, assessing threats...

"Will you fall to lift him up?
Will you thirst to fill his cup?"

Soft, child-like giggling followed. The voice seemed to float about the chamber, yet Happy could feel none of the subtle shifts in the air or the temperature that might indicate an invisible opponent or an undead spirit.

"Daring, daunting, caring, flaunting
Like a moth before the flame
Pushing, pressing, cradling, cussing
To erase the new-wrought name."

Happy's face tightened. "You will not turn me from my goal," she rumbled.

"You have been where he has went
To current cause most dedicant
Sacrifice no blood for stone
The walls he builds he must disown."

"You are telling me nothing I do not know already," she replied disdainfully.

"Rage has filled where love once sat
Prideful ***** roost upon truth's mat
Courage displaced by bully's scorn.
All must die 'fore he reborn.'

"What is your role in this, then," she replied, watching outside now to see if anyone else in the camp had taken notice of the odd conversation.

"Mine is wisdom, clouded lens
broken, twisted, without sense
Half formed debt and half formed troth
Like lisping rhyme ensnared by both."

"Then why are you wasting time with me - should you not be attempting to help him," she retorted angrily.

"Speak could I that none would hear
Where eyes are shut and plugged the ears.

Madmen counsels sooth seldom followed
In the mire of pleasure's wallows."

"I know what I am doing. Do you?"

"Know? No. No knowing knowing, no slowing showing, no sheathing firebrands in quenching wombs, burning out futures to pay back memories. I do not know, I will not go, I am already there. But do I shift a weight, or add a stone, free him through freedom or turn him through terror? What a world within a world is given, when the heart is deeply riven; where the center cut in twain, healing poorly in the brain. I know not knowing, and do undone. What before the midnight sun? There the query, madam weary, that vexed and vexing upon your heart is hung.

What is your answer?"

Yes, deliberately left it on a cliff. ;)

[Reinholdt]

Yay! Great job Helgraf!
You also gave me a new idea! Shame it's going to be sad...
Hypocrite
Shut up!
*off to work*

[Reinholdt]

"Meow Shipping Inc. gives you a tail of..."
"Wait did you just make a pun out of tale? Not cool man. Not cool at all."
".... Just read the Reinholdt-flavored ship, Promises. It's short."

Promises (Redemption ship)
Mordokai(pre-fall)/Reinholdt

Spoiler

Show

Reinholdt traversed the woods, keeping out of sight of the road. It was hard enough to stay hidden. It was especially hard to stay hidden while keeping up with a war party for days. He hadn’t had time to properly bath himself for days now, and was getting rather mangy.

Reinholdt neared the edge of the forest line to see his progress. Looking ahead, it seems the party had stopped for the time being. Good. Maybe he could get some rest before resuming the forced march.

Retreating back in, he found a decent spot to sleep. But sleep was hard to come by. He just kept wondering what he should do. And truthfully? Reinholdt hadn’t a clue.

“What am I supposed to do Mordokai, huh? I don’t know how to redeem people. That’s a redeemer’s job. That’s your job.” He sighed, thinking back to his own past, hoping that his own redemption could give him insight.

“And you’ll be there no matter what?” Reinholdt.

“Of course I will. I promise, turn from this path and I will always be there for you,” Mordokai had said.

“Ah yes, to watch me no doubt.”

Mordokai frowned. “No. As a friend.”

“You know my friends always leave me. Always betray me. Why are you any different?”

“I won’t. I promise on my oaths as a Redeemer I will never abandon you, friend. Trust me on this.”

Reinholdt’s paw hit the tree. “You said you wouldn’t betray me! You said you’d always be there!” Reinholdt turns and shouts, perhaps dangerously, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. “WHERE ARE YOU NOW?! HUH?! YOU PROMISED! YOU MADE ME CHANGE AND THEN YOU… you… you lied to me…” He slinks to the ground, sobbing.

“Why’d you show me the way out, only to cut the rope? You were supposed to tell me what to do Mordokai. You were supposed to show me what to do Mordokai. What am I supposed do?”

He curls up, body shaking, tears still flowing. “Where are you Mordokai? I still need you. I don’t know what to do…”

[happyturtle]

"Meow Shipping Inc. gives you a tail of..."
"Wait did you just make a pun out of tale? Not cool man. Not cool at all."
".... Just read the Reinholdt-flavored ship, Promises. It's short."

Promises (Redemption ship)
Mordokai(pre-fall)/Reinholdt

Spoiler

Show

Reinholdt traversed the woods, keeping out of sight of the road. It was hard enough to stay hidden. It was especially hard to stay hidden while keeping up with a war party for days. He hadn’t had time to properly bath himself for days now, and was getting rather mangy.

Reinholdt neared the edge of the forest line to see his progress. Looking ahead, it seems the party had stopped for the time being. Good. Maybe he could get some rest before resuming the forced march.

Retreating back in, he found a decent spot to sleep. But sleep was hard to come by. He just kept wondering what he should do. And truthfully? Reinholdt hadn’t a clue.

“What am I supposed to do Mordokai, huh? I don’t know how to redeem people. That’s a redeemer’s job. That’s your job.” He sighed, thinking back to his own past, hoping that his own redemption could give him insight.

“And you’ll be there no matter what?” Reinholdt.

“Of course I will. I promise, turn from this path and I will always be there for you,” Mordokai had said.

“Ah yes, to watch me no doubt.”

Mordokai frowned. “No. As a friend.”

“You know my friends always leave me. Always betray me. Why are you any different?”

“I won’t. I promise on my oaths as a Redeemer I will never abandon you, friend. Trust me on this.”

Reinholdt’s paw hit the tree. “You said you wouldn’t betray me! You said you’d always be there!” Reinholdt turns and shouts, perhaps dangerously, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. “WHERE ARE YOU NOW?! HUH?! YOU PROMISED! YOU MADE ME CHANGE AND THEN YOU… you… you lied to me…” He slinks to the ground, sobbing.

“Why’d you show me the way out, only to cut the rope? You were supposed to tell me what to do Mordokai. You were supposed to show me what to do Mordokai. What am I supposed do?”

He curls up, body shaking, tears still flowing. “Where are you Mordokai? I still need you. I don’t know what to do…”

Very well written. Poor Reinholdt.

[Korith]

Rabbit Wars
RabbitHoleLost and a mysterious Mandalorian Warrior (NPC, for now at least)

Spoiler

Show

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
(Queue theme music)
It is a time of romantic intrigue. The throne of planet Fedora is at stake, and it goes to whomever can romance the impossibly fickle Queen Rabbit.

Countless suitors have cast in their lot, but Queen Rabbit inevitably tired of each of them after a few days of their antics, for none of them had any originality. All of them have left with bruised guts, egos, or worse!

Yet, in the depths of the evilest regions of space, Darth Evilguy realized he had an opportunity! Sending forth his most trusted warrior, trained in the Mandalorian styles of combat, he would abduct Queen Rabbit and hold her hostage until such time as she pledged to marry him. Then, taking control over planet Fedora, Darth Evilguy would enact his wicked plans on their powerful hat industry!

Queen Rabbit was strolling about in one of her planet's many hat shops, looking for the perfect hat to buy after yet another dull night with another rejected suitor. The hats were all beautiful, yet none evoked the proper mix of cuteness, rage, and sovereign power that she sought. Still, she tried several of them on and looked darling in all of them, but they failed to satisfy her.

It was while she exited the shop that something a little bit different happened. When she was a reasonably safe distance from the shop, it collapsed behind her. The constant tinkling of shattered glass and rising plume of smoke was a display that demanded attention to itself, and so Queen Rabbit watched the scene with subtle amusement. It wasn't considered "queenly" to take interest in the spontaneous demolition of a hat shop, but it was something different!

As Queen Rabbit gazed upon the destruction with a slight smirk forming on her face, a ship emerged from the plume of smoke. Quickly, but with perfect control, it passed over and landed behind her. She followed the ship's movement with a unique fascination. Then the hatch opened.

Out stepped the Mandalorian warrior sent to seize Queen Rabbit and drag her across the darkest reaches of space to his master. He lept from the cockpit and with a brief flare from his jetpack, he performed a flawless acrobatic flip in the air, landing but two feet away from her, catching his descent on his thoroughly armored left knee.

Queen Rabbit applauded cheerfully! First, a spontaneous act of destruction, then a wanton act of piloting, and finishing it off with an acrobatic feat made her want to squee!

Oh, to heck with it! She squeed the sort of squee that led the birds to pause in their songs and all take notice of her for a time. When their silence passed and their noise resumed, Queen Rabbit gently curtsied to this man she believed to be a suitor.

"Queen Rabbit?" the masked and armored warrior inquired. She envisioned the man of her dreams concealed behind that mask, and she enthusiastically nodded with a girly "Uh-huh!"

She didn't anticipate his next move, when he raised his left arm and out from it spiraled a black cord that wrapped about her and held her fast. These things were happening so spontaneously, so suddenly, the excitement was making her lose control!

"Take me with you!" Queen Rabbit exclaimed, feeling the excitement that she had so long buried in the face of the drab proceedings of the court. She would have seized him in a lover's embrace were it not for the cords, but that little twist only made this course of events more exciting.

"That is the plan, ma'am" the warrior spoke dryly, but so hooked on the ideas of him was Queen Rabbit that he may has well have uttered the most romantic line of the perfect poem.

He locked her in the cargo hold. Hours passed, and each of them containing more and more creative fantasies of what Queen Rabbit might do on the honeymoon when she got this mysterious stranger out of his armor.

Then she was greeted by light. There stood the evil Darth Evilguy! He laughed an evil laugh and Queen Rabbit shrieked a scream of terror, for she had heard the evilness of Darth Evilguy all too often!

"Save me!" she screamed, hoping her knight in Mandalorian Armor would come to her rescue.

She was a little disappointed with his answer, when he knelt before Darth Evilguy and declared his mission accomplished, and demanded full pay.

The process of holding her captive was more than she could endure, for not only had Queen Rabbit been scorned by the one whom she loved, but Darth Evilguy had absolutely no taste in dungeon decor. Months passed before she showed any sign of breaking, though she'd destroyed the minds of dozens of security details in the interim. Finally, she asked to see Darth Evilguy.

"Darth Evilguy, only you could be so bold as to abduct a queen to demand her hand in marriage. I do not, and cannot love you. I could not stand to marry you, and I would surely annul our marriage with a dramatic death of some sort if you tried to force it."

"Still, Darth, I have a plan, and you might like how it works for you. Your warrior who captured me intrigues me. Let me marry him. Then he, as your vassal, can surrender our planet to you. In exchange for planet Fedora, I require that he be released from your service and that he would live on as my husband."

She grinned, knowing that a Sith lord usually suffers from a lack of patience. This would hinder his ability to negotiate.

The dark lord thought for a moment, then stepped towards her and spoke; "If I wanted your world, I could simply have taken it. No, I require the loyalty of your subjects as a rightful king. You will yield your planet to me through willing marriage, or else this warrior of mine whom you hold so dear will be sent on a suicide mission. Serve and obey me as a loyal queen, and you may have him as your play thing. Defy my demands of marriage, however, and the only love you've ever known will be squashed like an insect, with complete holo footage for you to view on our honeymoon."

She lunged at the dark lord, but it was a useless gesture. With one motion of his hand, she was suspended in air and struggling to breathe. Out of the corner of her eyes, she thought she could see the armored form of her love, but instead everything faded to darkness.

Queen Rabbit awoke on a soft bed, chained by her wrists and ankles. A strange man, not particularly handsome nor particularly repulsive, stood over her to her side. She struggled a moment, confused and surprised, only to see him grin.

"The bio scanners in my helmet told me you like being tied up, that day we met. And I don't believe in suicide missions."

Queen Rabbit's heard exploded with passion at the realization of what had happened. She had finally found her king!

[TwoBitWriter]

Rabbit Wars
RabbitHoleLost and a mysterious Mandalorian Warrior (NPC, for now at least)

Spoiler

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*snip*

That was weird, but very cute. Darth Evilguy... you should have put another shipper in that role. That is my only real critique, it was very fun. We haven't seen a Star Wars fic here in a while.

I'm looking at you, Happyturtle!