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Old 01-23-2012, 08:59 AM   Top  -  End  -  #121
Qwertystop
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackjack217 View Post
*even if the rules allow it you cannot have a contingent true resurrection.
*yes that covers all other revival spells
Seems fine to me. Are you aware that Contingency only activates once? you're just buying a True Resurrection in advance and paying extra XP and gold to have it auto-activate instead of hiring a 17th level cleric to follow you around.
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Old 01-23-2012, 09:38 AM   Top  -  End  -  #122
NikitaDarkstar
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
* no matter how good I am at optimizing I can not play as either ezio auditore or altiar
* can not then proced to form a secret underground organization for the sole purpose of training enough followers to take over the world
*coughs innocently*

You might want to add a comment about the leadership feat.. cause otherwise, I can, I have and I will do it again! :p

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* I may no longer play as a neutrino.
* Other sub-atomic particles are right out.
*Come to think of it, the same goes for black holes.
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Old 01-23-2012, 03:01 PM   Top  -  End  -  #123
Sgt. Cookie
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*Pouring Sovereign glue into the Paladin's armour will cause smite evil to function properly on me, despite not being evil.
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Old 01-23-2012, 05:12 PM   Top  -  End  -  #124
Beowulf DW
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*May not create an Unarmed Swordsage specializing in Desert Wind in 3.5
*May not make a Monk of the Four Winds in Pathfinder
*On the off chance that I'm able to create anything with similar abilities, under no circumstances may I yell "Falcon Punch!"
*You know what? You say Falcon Anything, you're getting polymorphed into a newt, and you will not get better!
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Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:22 PM   Top  -  End  -  #125
Doorhandle
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*Falcon punch is not edible.
*Falchion punch crits on an 18.
*My bard cannot have the leadership feat, and the N.P.C horde you get from it is not made up of groupies.
*Not to cast Statue on myself and then launch myself out of a cannon.
* Magic jar does not let me ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL.
* Not to ask how an alchemist can cast magic jar.
* My earth elemental cannot be made of caesium.
* my earth elemental cannot be made of hydrogen.
* Not to detonate elementals for fun and profit.
* Bite attack or no, unicorn flesh is a sometimes food.
* People recovering from flesh to stone are not, in fact, high, and they certainly aren’t stoned.
* Not to cast speak with dead on a recently slain foe to ask if the rent in hell really is paid in advance.
*If I tell a grunt to tell Asmeodus that Nephco© sent him to ask for a business proposition, not to be surprised when I actually get one.
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"In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:57 PM   Top  -  End  -  #126
SleepyShadow
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* Not allowed to attach old magic swords to a spinning wheel of any kind.
* Especially if said spinning wheel is on the front of the wagon we push down the dungeon corridors.
* My treant artificer cannot use leaves or branches from his own body as components for anything.
* Casting cone of cold inside a force cage does not create a refrigerator.
* My bard cannot be named Slowhand, Clapton, or Eric.
* Oiling the barbarian's muscles does not increase his charisma.
* I may not grease the rogue without permission.
* Even if it would increase his escape artist checks.
* I may not grease the elf girl for any reason.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:14 PM   Top  -  End  -  #127
Doorhandle
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* May not point out the unfortunate implications of casting grease on our foes, in light of the above statments.
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"In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:45 AM   Top  -  End  -  #128
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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* I may no longer play as a neutrino.
* Other sub-atomic particles are right out.
But just think of the size bonuses...and the fly speed...
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:54 AM   Top  -  End  -  #129
Doorhandle
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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But just think of the size bonuses...and the fly speed...
Whish is exactly why you're not allowed to play one.
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"In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:28 AM   Top  -  End  -  #130
Elemental
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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But just think of the size bonuses...and the fly speed...
That's all very well and good and everything, but the racial penalties leave a lot to be desired.
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:35 AM   Top  -  End  -  #131
Flame of Anor
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* Even in a nautical adventure, I may not play a Higgs Bo's'n.
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Old 01-24-2012, 04:46 AM   Top  -  End  -  #132
Arbane
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* Even in a nautical adventure, I may not play a Higgs Bo's'n.
Not even The Unstoppable Axel Higgs?
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Old 01-24-2012, 04:54 AM   Top  -  End  -  #133
Flame of Anor
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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On that note,

* I may not have a CON in the 30's by 5th level.
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Old 01-24-2012, 07:21 AM   Top  -  End  -  #134
Necroticplague
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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That's all very well and good and everything, but the racial penalties leave a lot to be desired.
Plus, permanent incorporeal is a relative downside, plus the rules for how they interact with larger races are overly complicated.
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Old 01-25-2012, 02:53 AM   Top  -  End  -  #135
Esprit15
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*FEAR with a Scrappy Pokémon who has been as their types screwed with to the point where weather and status problems don't hurt them is in poor taste and will result in attacks being directed at me.

*Being able to pull off FEAR as a trainer when this happens is just wrong.

*Using the new effects of Sturdy and a Shell Bell to keep doing this over and over is just asking for it.
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:28 AM   Top  -  End  -  #136
Keasby
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*I may not check for traps by sliding a dead body down a hallway and then repeating as needed

*Especially when the body wasn't dead the first time I did it.
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Old 01-25-2012, 01:11 PM   Top  -  End  -  #137
Bit Fiend
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* There is no such thing as a "Dwarf Tosser" PrC.
* Even if there was, it's capstone is not the ability to knot two dwarves by their beards and use them as "Dwarf-bolos"
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Old 01-25-2012, 01:21 PM   Top  -  End  -  #138
Metahuman1
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*The Cleric may not cast Bless Water on the mist to help expedite consecrating an area.

*Nor may he cast Bless Water just to make the mist Holy Water and get the terrain advantage of doing such.

*Especially in any game making heavy use of Undead or anything else harmed by Holy Water.

*Doing so in Raven Loft is Right out.

(Actually happened a couple of weeks ago at my in person table. DM literally dinged his head face down on the table, at which point we decided to use different and more manageable tactics to cut him a break instead of breaking the game.

He is a fairly new DM, and I don't think he really appreciates the power a T1 character can bring to bare, but he is learning very fast. )
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Old 01-25-2012, 02:55 PM   Top  -  End  -  #139
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* My warforged ninja cannot be called Gray Fox.

* My mounted paladin cannot be called The Midnight Rider.

* My yuan-ti ranger cannot be called Solid Snake.

* My pacifist may not knock on dungeon doors politely and offer the monsters pamphlets detailing why they are in the wrong.

* Especially if "I didn't know the rogue would sneak attack them again".
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Old 01-25-2012, 03:54 PM   Top  -  End  -  #140
Ksheep
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
*The Cleric may not cast Bless Water on the mist to help expedite consecrating an area.

*Nor may he cast Bless Water just to make the mist Holy Water and get the terrain advantage of doing such.

*Especially in any game making heavy use of Undead or anything else harmed by Holy Water.

*Doing so in Raven Loft is Right out.

(Actually happened a couple of weeks ago at my in person table. DM literally dinged his head face down on the table, at which point we decided to use different and more manageable tactics to cut him a break instead of breaking the game.

He is a fairly new DM, and I don't think he really appreciates the power a T1 character can bring to bare, but he is learning very fast. )
*The same goes for casting "Water to Acid" on the fog.
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*It does.*

What.
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:32 PM   Top  -  End  -  #141
Metahuman1
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*The same goes for casting "Water to Acid" on the fog.
*Custom spell "Water to Lava" is right out.
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:58 PM   Top  -  End  -  #142
Qwertystop
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
*Custom spell "Water to Lava" is right out.
That would just trap everyone in a huge mound of very hot dust. The lava would cool fast into rock, and is too heavy to hang in the air anyway.
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Old 01-25-2012, 06:20 PM   Top  -  End  -  #143
Metahuman1
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That would just trap everyone in a huge mound of very hot dust. The lava would cool fast into rock, and is too heavy to hang in the air anyway.
He said of a game were a guy can make a weird jesture and spit out a none-sense word while thinking of turning his foe into a bunny rabbit AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!!!!!

Seriously, a spell that out right punches Common sense and the laws of physics in the face is nothing new.
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:43 PM   Top  -  End  -  #144
NikitaDarkstar
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
*The Cleric may not cast Bless Water on the mist to help expedite consecrating an area.

*Nor may he cast Bless Water just to make the mist Holy Water and get the terrain advantage of doing such.

*Especially in any game making heavy use of Undead or anything else harmed by Holy Water.

*Doing so in Raven Loft is Right out.

(Actually happened a couple of weeks ago at my in person table. DM literally dinged his head face down on the table, at which point we decided to use different and more manageable tactics to cut him a break instead of breaking the game.

He is a fairly new DM, and I don't think he really appreciates the power a T1 character can bring to bare, but he is learning very fast. )
You need to play with my DM, he'd totally let it fly. (Granted the next time we see mist we most likely shouldn't assume it's normal...)

* Cone of Cold will NOT freeze the mist into a small glacier and trap any creature that was in it.

* Chain lightning will not conduct electricity through the mist and electrocute everything caught in it.

* Water Walk will not let me bypass the area by walking over the mist.

*No, not even then.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:28 PM   Top  -  End  -  #145
blackjack217
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*despite the fact that sending is impossible to block I may not use it to harass the BBEG in the middle of the night.
*or any other time of day for that matter
*despite the fact that in no place in the description does it say the receiver knows the identity of the sender the king will figure out you were the one who caused him to flub the yearly address.
*Sending only allows non magical words. It is most certainly not a vehicle to deliver a sequence of 25 spells of the power word line.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:46 PM   Top  -  End  -  #146
Angry Bob
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame of Anor View Post
* Even in a nautical adventure, I may not play a Higgs Bo's'n.
I played in a game where a guy played a rogue/Lord of Silence(3rd party) named Higgs Boson. He had something like +70 to hide, and due to his class abilities could not be heard at all for the better part of the day. Throw in Darkstalker and a friendly, if morally bankrupt artificer PC, and he was absolutely undetectable to all but the most powerful spells(Discern Location etc) and the most esoteric senses(Lifesight, mindsight), and if the game had gone on any longer, he would have avoided those, too. Throw in Mostquito Bite, and an enemy would completely ignore him as he was stabbing their throat out. And, because just being undetectable is never enough, he could also sprint across continents, case dungeons in under a round, and with adequate preparation time, one-shot pretty much anything level-appropriate, if the term could really be said to have applied to that party. All at level 8.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:59 PM   Top  -  End  -  #147
Sith_Happens
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

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That would just trap everyone in a huge mound of very hot dust. The lava would cool fast into rock, and is too heavy to hang in the air anyway.
*I may not use this tactic against catfolk.
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That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
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Old 01-25-2012, 11:16 PM   Top  -  End  -  #148
Morithias
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*I am not allowed to buy an item that gives me a 20% experience point boost for only 8000 gp, regardless of what the Fiendish Codex 2 says that that bonus is worth. (seriously check page 49 and 50)
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Old 01-26-2012, 01:18 AM   Top  -  End  -  #149
Sith_Happens
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

* Wearing feycrafted twilight mithril full plate with nothing on underneath it does not cause enemies of the opposite sex to suffer attack penalties due to distraction.
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That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:18 AM   Top  -  End  -  #150
Doorhandle
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Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

*Even if my club does charisma damage, not to call it the ugly stick.
*Ommipotent pork swords only exist in my mind and the dungeons of dreadmor.
*Wands are magical implements of great power, not dildos.
*Even if that's all a wand of jump is useful for.
*Not to use enlarge person to bellyflop on people.
*Same with iron body, wildshape, and form-of-the-X.
*The lost armlet of whatshisface was not behind the sofa the whole time.
*Not to drag a cannon around to snipe dragons with.
* Feather fall as a spell-like ability is not an excuse to launch the party out of catapults instead of walking.
*If a siege weapon cannot fit into the door of a dungeon, I cannot have it.
*If I use it to blow a hole large enough for it to fit, I still can't keep it.
* It is incredibly crass to use reduce object on a pair of cannons so I can wield them like handguns.
* Cannot use a bag of holding to survive being launched out of a siege weapon.
*Cannot use ant haul, bull's strength, enlarge animal, and a team of donkeys to haul around a pile of loot the size of a small hill.
*This does not mean I can do the same with a pile of loot the size of a large hill.
*If I can survive indefinitely inside the stomach of a creature or construct that has swallowed me whole, not to hide inside there and snipe from inside it.
*If I use a rope trick and Magnificent mansion to build a house inside of one, I will be attacked by dire tapeworms as thick as treetruncks.
*Cannot use an undead variation and cut portholes and channels into it so I can fire out of it.
*My first response to finding a forest, cave, or enemy encampment is not "Set it on fire."
*This cannot be my second response after a paltry effort to do otherwise.
* The D.M is still figuring out how I set the forest on acid, the cave on ice, and the encampment on sonic, but it is assumed I am also banned from doing that.
*Cannot divert a river to clear out the location in question.
*Cannot create a river with a decanter of endless water in the general direction of the encampment.
*I AM allowed to use an avalanche, provided I do so in an area where there is actually snow.
* Cannot abuse stone-to-mud to bury all my enemies in thousands of tonnes of the stuff.
*Not to abuse the ridiculous wealth-by level of high-powered characters to just buy the place from under them.
*No, you cannot use a lyre of tunnelling to undermine them.
*JUST FIGHT THEM ALREADY!
*Cure wounds or no, I still have to say sorry.
*My character cannot have the stated goal of sleeping with each and every kind of compatible creature on the planet.
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"In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"
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