Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

[MesiDoomstalker]

Originally Posted by Esprit15

In PTTA
* I may not create a SAD character that gains damage, health and DR from one stat, and pump only this stat.
** Especially if it is not a Psychic.
** Gaining more HP per level than a SAD CON class will get me far tougher encounters than everyone else.
*** If I do this, I may not complain about always having to tank everything for all the other squishy party members.
** I may not create a build like this and then say that I am a pacifist.

*If such character is created, Electrode carpet bombing is now a valid tatic for the GM to use against you.

[Esprit15]

Originally Posted by MesiDoomstalker

*If such character is created, Electrode carpet bombing is now a valid tatic for the GM to use against you.

* In such a scenario, I am to treat it as "Rocks fall, everyone dies," not count out the damage or devise a way to avoid dying.

* I also instantly fail the death save.

[planswalker]

*I may no longer watch strange indie Alice in Wonderland films when creating a dnd campaign setting.
**Especially ones set in downtown London.
***Double for ones that feature creepy dolls.

[Man on Fire]

Cannot use anything I read in Twisted Princess series with changed names as a character backstory.

[BlackestOfMages]

Originally Posted by Man on Fire

Cannot use anything I read in Twisted Princess series with changed names as a character backstory.

* unless I'm playing the villain...

* Cannot use a variation f your standard cindrella story as background but add in a few twists such as godmother being more eldritch lovecraftian horror and mass-murder.
** Especially not when I was told I wasn't a villain...

[newBlazingAngel]

*My bard may not be an 'adult play' star.

**He may not take it as a skill

***I may not inspire confidence this way.

****I fascinate EVERYONE when I do this.

[CTrees]

-when you insult the DM as he's about to roll for how many monsters attack the party? He's going to decide to just go with the max, and probably start it as an ambush. Protip, etc.
-if the DM pulls out the Call of Cthulu D20 rulebook, things are not going to go as anyone expects. Not even for the DM.

[Randomguy]

*Creating a spell that summons technicolour pachiderms will result in san damage. So will casting it or seeing the results.
Pink elephants

[big teej]

if memory serves, we're allowed to bring in non-dnd stuff

and I don't recall seeing this mentioend (though I'm sure it has been)

*** I am not to base Shadowrun Characters on Team Fortress 2 characters...

((apparently it traumatizes my players.))

[Rockphed]

Originally Posted by big teej

if memory serves, we're allowed to bring in non-dnd stuff

Oh, yes please. D&D may be the biggest demographic, but any game is fair game. Just please elaborate if it is an obscure game or setting.

and I don't recall seeing this mentioend (though I'm sure it has been)

*** I am not to base Shadowrun Characters on Team Fortress 2 characters...

((apparently it traumatizes my players.))

* If my character's best weapons are a crowbar and a ranged object manipulator, I am doing things wrong.
** If my character only has the ability to teleport and fall from arbitrary heights, I am doing things wrong.
* Being a mute is a privilege, not a right.
** I am not allowed to give my character a snarky animal sidekick just so I can participate in conversations while playing a mute.
*** If my formerly mute character has been tortured for several years, his first words should be plot significant. "Cheese" does not cut it.
*Being a cheerleader is likewise a privilege, not a right.
** I may not use a rod of wonder on my enemies in the hopes that they will turn blue.
*** Nor may I give them hair styling tips.
**** Nor funky fresh flying cars.
***** Nasty scars are fine.
** If my involves rapping, I had better be playing a bard.

[planswalker]

*If the dm for a game I am applying to asks me to explain what sorts of roles my summoner druid would find useful to complement him, I better be able to come up with an answer besides "decoys" and "minions to carry my loot".

[Emperordaniel]

*If me and my mid-level party sees an Adult Silver Dragon, we will not charge at it, weapons drawn, without provocation.
**No, not even then.
***Killing the Silver Dragon after - due to a lucky critical - it has surrendered and is pleading for its life is right out.

[Bearpunch]

*No, you cannot be a cat with psionic powers.
*Not even if he spends most of the game in a battlesuit.
*Especially if he spends the game in a battlesuit.
*Even if this were to be allowed, the acronym for your battlesuit may not be M.E.O.W. Even if it makes total sense.
*Please don't throw the druid.
*Even if it seems to be the only way out of the pit.
*If your back-up plan ever again contains enough c-4 to level a city block, think of a new back-up plan.
*Stop insulting the elder demon.
*Don't punch it, either.

[Acanous]

Originally Posted by Bearpunch

*Even if this were to be allowed, the acronym for your battlesuit may not be M.E.O.W. Even if it makes total sense.

Please elaborate.
I know of one acronym I use often in futuristic RPG's, C.A.T.S. (Command and Tactical Support, a unit designation) and a C.A.T.S. M.E.O.W. is just too good to pass up.

[Metahuman1]

Originally Posted by Emperordaniel

*If me and my mid-level party sees an Adult Silver Dragon, we will not charge at it, weapons drawn, without provocation.
**No, not even then.
***Killing the Silver Dragon after - due to a lucky critical - it has surrendered and is pleading for its life is right out.

*If we do this, we will not question are alignments changing to evil.

**Nor will we question our DM opting to do something bad to us for this if he happens to like dragons in general, good aligned dragons in particular, and Silvers as one of his top favorites in D&D.

[Man on Fire]

* No longer allowed to combine Summon Nature's Ally with Irresistible Dance to recreate Happy Feet movie.

[planswalker]

Originally Posted by Man on Fire

* No longer allowed to combine Summon Nature's Ally with Irresistible Dance to recreate Happy Feet movie.

** Double ditto for Summon Undead substituted for SNA and thriller.

[newBlazingAngel]

*My players should not need to test underground dungeons with canaries

[Dire Panda]

• I may not refer to my animal companion as "Mister Fluffykins" if he is larger than me.
• Especially if my animal companion is female.
• If I violate the previous rule, I may not complain if my character gets eaten.
• I may not attempt to research "Spay/Neuter" as a first-level druid spell.
• Not even if I attempt to justify it in-game as controlling animal populations to benefit nature overall.
• If my DM is gullible enough to let me break the previous two rules, I will not use the spell on NPCs.
• Especially not questgivers, kings, epic wizards, or other important figures.
• Should the aforementioned powerful NPC roll a natural 1 on his Fortitude save and suffer the spell's effects, I should expect both myself and Mister Fluffykins to die horribly.

[Ridureyu]

I may not combine Aberrant feats with Druid and Master of Many Forms to become a Beholder at level 7. Especially when in a diplomatic position.

[Techwarrior]

*I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw the BBEG Nixie Sorceror onto his own spike traps.
**I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw knives.
***I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to pull out the one book in the stack and knock over the bookcase on the enemies.
****I may not use the spell Mage Hand when we are in a combat situation.
*****I may not prep the spell Mage Hand more than once a day, nor may I take it on a Sorceror or Bard.
******If the DM calls for a DC when I use the spell Mage Hand, the answer may not be higher than 25.
*******I may not use Mage Hand to prepare for a battle situation.
********I may never cast the spell Mage Hand again.

[newBlazingAngel]

*Mage hand is a serious spell, not for my characters own pleasure.
**Or practical jokes
***Or some other persons pleasure
****Or filthy jokes
*****Or filthy actions

[planswalker]

Originally Posted by Techwarrior

*I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw the BBEG Nixie Sorceror onto his own spike traps.
**I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw knives.
***I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to pull out the one book in the stack and knock over the bookcase on the enemies.
****I may not use the spell Mage Hand when we are in a combat situation.
*****I may not prep the spell Mage Hand more than once a day, nor may I take it on a Sorceror or Bard.
******If the DM calls for a DC when I use the spell Mage Hand, the answer may not be higher than 25.
*******I may not use Mage Hand to prepare for a battle situation.
********I may never cast the spell Mage Hand again.

* I may no longer blatantly and utterly ignore the rules of mage-hand to try to force my DM to let me pull off the above tricks which do not work by the rules at all.

[Techwarrior]

Actually they all do, at least in 3.0. 3.5 edited the spell Mage Hand to not allow targets that weren't nonmagical inanimate objects, and it gave no save DC.

That's the only ones that I can think of that don't work

[planswalker]

Originally Posted by Techwarrior

Actually they all do, at least in 3.0. 3.5 edited the spell Mage Hand to not allow targets that weren't nonmagical inanimate objects, and it gave no save DC.

That's the only ones that I can think of that don't work

wrong.

Originally Posted by PHB 3.0

Mage Hand
Transmutation
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: Nonmagical, unattended object
weighing up to 5 lb.
Duration: Concentration
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You point your finger at an object and can
lift it and move it at will from a distance.
As a move-equivalent action, you can move
the object up to 15 feet in any direction,
though the spell ends if the distance
between you and the object ever exceeds
the spell’s range.

I'll grant that your book trick is by RAW because dnd fails at physics forever, but the dagger attack is a very debatable thing your dm should never have allowed. Grabbing the nixie explicitly is disallowed. If a spell that doesn't normally call for a dc needs one, the dc isn't something you pull out of your butt. DC's for spells are easily calculable and your dm should never have to ask you for it. Mage Hand, being a 0 level spell, would have a dc of 10+relevant ability modifier+any other bonuses relevant (specialist, spell focus, etc). Unless you have an absurdly high number of miscellaneous bonuses, you're nowhere close to dc 25.

[Techwarrior]

Hm... You're right. I had been operating under limited information, as at the time that I was playing, I had never even opened the player's handbook. It was my first roleplaying experience and I was using a premade character with very little actual description of my abilites.

To answer the DC question.
I had 36 Int (+13), Spell Focus Transmutation, and Greater Spell Focus

In defense of myself abusing the system. The character was over a decade ago, and I knew very little about the system at the time. I was a friend of a friend who was handed a 20th level character. Not entirely the greatest experience, as I had to figure out the entire system as we went along, and had to contend with a 20th level wizard.

[planswalker]

Fair enough. I just wanted to point out that most of the tricks you pulled are things that don't really work.

but yeah, if you're playing a 20th level wizard with 36 int and you actually ever cast a 0th-level spell, odds are good that wierdness happens.

[Techwarrior]

No matter the system, I am not allowed to have access to any power that allows telekenesis.

[Lord_Gareth]

* My Soverign-class battleship is not the F.S.S. Snuggleguts.

* Chuck Norris is not my character's Fetch

[Jay R]

* I may not base a character on Captain Jack Sparrow.
* I may not base a character on Edward Scissorhands.
* I may not base a character on Barnabus Collins.
* I may not base a character on the Mad Hatter.
* I may not base a character on Sweeney Todd.
** I may never watch a Johnny Depp movie again.