LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Absol197

I wish I knew what I really sound like. I've been trying for almost a year, and I'm still not even close.

Of course, it's usually just little things like singing in the car, but still. I'd expect some progress! That and not knowing my name is really dragging me down...

Record yourself and listen back to what you recorded. Helps me with my band when we practice. We record ourselves and listen and we can say, "Oh I really like that, have to keep doing that", or "OMG wtf was that thing I just did, ERASE ERASE!!"

But seriously, recording yourself and playing it back will help you be able to know how you sound, and how you want to sound. Also, you can figure out, and get muscle memory, for how you sound in your head, as opposed to how other people hear you. Because they definitely are different sounding.....how you hear you, as opposed to how others hear you.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Absol197

I wish I knew what I really sound like. I've been trying for almost a year, and I'm still not even close.

Of course, it's usually just little things like singing in the car, but still. I'd expect some progress! That and not knowing my name is really dragging me down...

I find that learning a new skill often comes in levels. Nothing happens for a long time and then you suddenly jump up several notches at once. Might be the same here.

[SaintRidley]

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

My female voice sounds so weird. I lose my accent, and end up sounding... I've been compared with a breathy streamer for LoL, I got called irish by one odd person, and generally am 'somewhere in the atlantic.' Some words sound SO weird that I stop for several seconds after saying them going 'Is that how I pronounce that word?'

Somehow I develop a Georgia accent when my voice shifts. It got compared to Scarlett O'Hara's accent when it happened accidentally in class this semester.

[Heliomance]

Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.

Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.

I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.

Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.

Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.

I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.

That is awesome!!

Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.

Nothing in this life worth doing is easy or NOT scary!! I am sure you will do wonderfully though!

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

*snip*

Objectifying the human body is the whole purpose of exhibitionist dancing. Whether it's at a ballet or a strip club, the only difference is sweat pants.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Yes, well, divorced from the chipmunks Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 might have been a good movie. But it wasn't.

Spoiler

[Arachu]

To be fair, it's not like Helio's trying to make some sort of statement dancing... It's kinda shamey to go right to social commentary about it. >.>

(On another note, I've always wanted to do parkour and those other clubs' names are pure awesome. )

Originally Posted by Mynxae

Might be getting back with my ex that I mentioned a few pages ago, 'cause I also really never gave him much of a chance..

Hope it goes well~


~Bianca

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by Kindablue

Objectifying the human body is the whole purpose of exhibitionist dancing. Whether it's at a ballet or a strip club, the only difference is sweat pants.

Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist. It's a perfectly valid form of gymnastic exercise. Just try and claim that this is exhibitionism, as opposed to a highly technical gymnastic routine requiring immense amounts of skill, flexibility, and raw strength. And don't try and cite the lack of clothing as a reason in itself - you need bare skin to grip the pole, if she'd had any less skin showing some of the moves she pulled off would simply have been impossible.

Also, there's nothing inherently wrong with exhibitionism anyway. If someone is comfortable with and proud of their own body - or skills - and wants to show them off, why is that something they should be ashamed of?

ION, my friend who I've known since I was 9 but haven't seen recently has started coming to GameSoc. Unfortunately, he's either having real trouble or simply not bothering to switch to calling me Tam and use the right pronouns. This is annoying, as I was really hoping the new freshers would get to know me as female first and male only afterwards.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist.

In fact, when I try it I notice people see it more as inhibitionist.

[The Succubus]

It depends on the person. The point of music and dance is to stir the emotions, whether it is the serenity and beauty of ballet or the passion and excitement of tango.

A pole is just a pole. A dancer could spin round it with grace and athleticism to a piece of classical music or they could dance close to it to a thumping bassline to stir feelings of desire.

It's all down to the dancer at the end of the day. =)

[Zorg]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

ION, my friend who I've known since I was 9 but haven't seen recently has started coming to GameSoc. Unfortunately, he's either having real trouble or simply not bothering to switch to calling me Tam and use the right pronouns. This is annoying, as I was really hoping the new freshers would get to know me as female first and male only afterwards.

The obvious thing is to talk to him plainly and directly.

Should it be not bothering expalin it so he knows how important it is and hopefully gets it. If not I'd say you'd (sadly) need to minimise contact with him.
If it's trouble there's probably not much else he can do but keep trying - knowing how important it is to you should help though.

Or train him pavlovian style by tasering him in the balls every time he gets it wrong.

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist. It's a perfectly valid form of gymnastic exercise. Just try and claim that this is exhibitionism, as opposed to a highly technical gymnastic routine requiring immense amounts of skill, flexibility, and raw strength. And don't try and cite the lack of clothing as a reason in itself - you need bare skin to grip the pole, if she'd had any less skin showing some of the moves she pulled off would simply have been impossible.

Also, there's nothing inherently wrong with exhibitionism anyway. If someone is comfortable with and proud of their own body - or skills - and wants to show them off, why is that something they should be ashamed of?

I never said any of that. I maybe should have clarified that "exhibitionism" was meant to exclude dancing purely for self satisfaction, like what I assumed the club you're nervous about joining is, and not a accusation of narrcisism, but by comparing stripping to ballet it should have been obvious that I think pole-dancers can be artists.

[Lix Lorn]

I disapprove of the disapproving stances people seem to be taking.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by Kindablue

I never said any of that. I maybe should have clarified that "exhibitionism" was meant to exclude dancing purely for self satisfaction, like what I assumed the club you're nervous about joining is, and not a accusation of narrcisism, but by comparing stripping to ballet it should have been obvious that I think pole-dancers can be artists.

Dancing as a performance, even.

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

Dancing as a performance, even.

That might have been a better way to say it, sure.

Also, I think I missed something. Sealing wax?

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by Kindablue

Also, I think I missed something. Sealing wax?

And cabbages, and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

And cabbages, and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether fish have wings.

Yeah, okay, definitely missed something.

[Heliomance]

Here you go.

[gunnar11]

Hey guys, how are y'all? Is Caroll the topic?

[The Succubus]

But all the poor little oysters got nommed. ='(

[Heliomance]

I was kinda tempted to change it to "Of Shoes, and Hips, and Body Wax" :P

[KenderWizard]

Going to move stuff to spoilers.

Spoiler

Originally Posted by The Succubus

Now now, Miss Wizard, you're not being entirely fair there. There are more than a few strip clubs out there for female clientele that have poles installed for male dancers to use in their acts. Granted, pole dancing may have association with female strippers than male strippers but the world does not change over night. It's only through small steps like these that we achieve equality.

Besides, when it comes to shameless lust, commodification is a human trait rather than a male trait. Case in point - self insert fan-fiction. You can't tell me with a straight face that your lifelong dream of being the tasty filling of a Thor/Loki sandwich has more to do with a cool, logical assessment of the personalities and less to do with their long flowing locks, gorgeous eyes and pleasingly muscled bodies, hmm?

Sexual/physical attraction does not equal objectification or commodification, and sure, again, there's nothing wrong with any individual, male or female, enjoying a physical act or show given by any other individual, it's the culture that surrounds it that's the problem.

Originally Posted by Arachu

To be fair, it's not like Helio's trying to make some sort of statement dancing... It's kinda shamey to go right to social commentary about it. >.>

But I didn't! I said I personally found it hard to get past the problematic connotations so I wouldn't be into it, but Helio should totally go for it, and then she asked me to elaborate!

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.

Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.

I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.

Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.

Sounds awesome! Good luck with everything!

Sorry if I'm being snippy these days, I'm extremely tense, and have been for days now. Soon I'll either get the news I'm hoping for and be cheerful again, get the news I'm dreading and go into a total decline and probably stop coming here for a while, or just crack from the tension and who knows what I'll do?

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

Sorry if I'm being snippy these days, I'm extremely tense, and have been for days now. Soon I'll either get the news I'm hoping for and be cheerful again, get the news I'm dreading and go into a total decline and probably stop coming here for a while, or just crack from the tension and who knows what I'll do?

Don't you have a SO around to give you footrubs and chilled margaritas?

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

I was kinda tempted to change it to "Of Shoes, and Hips, and Body Wax" :P

Well I dunno about you, but I find a lot of ships in this thread.
Admittedly, most of them are half me and mostly daydreams, but regardless!

(Also hugs kender)

[supernerd]

Originally Posted by The Succubus

It depends on the person. The point of music and dance is to stir the emotions, whether it is the serenity and beauty of ballet or the passion and excitement of tango.

A pole is just a pole. A dancer could spin round it with grace and athleticism to a piece of classical music or they could dance close to it to a thumping bassline to stir feelings of desire.

It's all down to the dancer at the end of the day. =)

Yes, just yes. +1 internets for each creature that approves.

[Heliomance]

stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble

*hugs* Know the feeling...

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble

trust me, I understand that. Mine is a bit more ROUND that I would like it to be

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Astrella

Well, there's the RA; but I'm not sure if they're supposed to deal with stuff like this.

There's no RD/RHD? There ought to be somewhere. Try the dorm office if that's a thing?

Originally Posted by Selpharia

In my experience, in these kinds of cases, there are co-ed dorms but the individual rooms are still separated by gender. It's pretty common, at least in U.S. colleges (though I'm not sure it's the same where Astrelia is)

Most US colleges that I've heard of offer co-ed dorms, and also single-gender floors/dorms. Very few (but a growing number) offer co-ed rooms; many offer co-ed suites with gender-segregated rooms.
I'm on a co-ed floor, but most of the people on this entire half are guys, except for two poor girls isolated over here. On the bright side they have an entire bathroom to themselves, of which I'm jealous.

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

That's weird and kind of dumb. I suppose there are a lot more women who feel unsafe in the presence of men than vice versa, and unfortunately, it's way easier to make a "No Men" space than a "No Rapists/Abusers" space. I have my fingers crossed for that second one though. Someday we'll work it out.

The restrooms in my dorm (and presumably most/all of the others on campus) are gender-segregated, but only the girls' restrooms have combo locks on the doors. A girl could walk into the guys' restroom if she wanted (I don't know why she would, they're gross), but we can't access their restrooms. Weird sexism and stuff.

I dunno, I genuinely don't know how people can spend that long in the shower. I mean, you take your clothes off, step into the shower, then wet and wash your body as the water is warming (I have sort-of-warm showers, never hot showers), then rinse it off as you wet your hair, then shampoo the roots, rinse, condition the tips, rinse, step out, towel off quickly cause you're naked and wet, then put new clothes on and comb through your hair. That all only takes ten minutes for me, up to fifteen if it's cold or I'm sick or tense and I decide to have a slightly-warmer shower and stand under the water for a minute to relax, but that takes effect almost immediately.

I typically spend upwards of twenty minutes in the shower. I used to spend upwards of forty minutes. Heat is my weakness, run hot water over me and I suddenly lose all energy and ability to move.


So I was reading about congenitally limb-deficient people and phantom limbs, because my neurobio prof. didn't know the answer to that. Many of them do experience phantom limbs that they never had. Then I looked up transsexuals and phantom limbs. I don't remember if this has been mentioned here before. Seems like relatively few post-op transsexual women experience phantom penises (that just sounds funny, really, "phantom penis") compared to cissexual men who lose their penises in accidents or to cancer or whatnot. Likewise, a significant number of transsexual men experience phantom penises from a young age, despite never having had penises.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

There's no RD/RHD? There ought to be somewhere. Try the dorm office if that's a thing?

RD/RHD?

Originally Posted by noparlpf

I typically spend upwards of twenty minutes in the shower. I used to spend upwards of forty minutes. Heat is my weakness, run hot water over me and I suddenly lose all energy and ability to move.

Showers are a personal weakness of mine. They're very soothing and I like to just sit on the shower floor curled up letting the water flow over me.

Originally Posted by noparlpf

So I was reading about congenitally limb-deficient people and phantom limbs, because my neurobio prof. didn't know the answer to that. Many of them do experience phantom limbs that they never had. Then I looked up transsexuals and phantom limbs. I don't remember if this has been mentioned here before. Seems like relatively few post-op transsexual women experience phantom penises (that just sounds funny, really, "phantom penis") compared to cissexual men who lose their penises in accidents or to cancer or whatnot. Likewise, a significant number of transsexual men experience phantom penises from a young age, despite never having had penises.

Hm hm. I'm not sure if I mentioned it here before but I've come across accounts like this several times before.