LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Astrella

*crossing all my fingers*

-----

Re: Sexuality; I honestly have no idea where mine comes from and I haven't figured it out fully yet anyway. The earliest hint I had I guess was never really getting gay jokes and what supposedly so horrible about being attracted to boys. (Though considering I'm not a boy it gets a bit messy I guess? ) But in the end I'm not really bothered by not getting it; it's not really relevant to who I am and I think someone's sexuality is just as valid anyway, regardless of the origins.

I don't get gay "jokes" or what's wrong with liking guys and I don't like guys.
(Especially one of the freshmen at my old school, and I have never even met him. He just seems like a huge butthead from what I've been hearing. I'm pretty upset with the administration for upholding this kid's "free speech" which is actually more like hate speech. This is a complete non-sequitir but it was on my mind.)

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

Hmm, so as long as the patients realise they may be receiving placebo, and are okay with that FOR SCIENCE!, it's okay.

Informed consent is a requirement for studies. No reputable journal would publish a study if they weren't ensured that the patient had given it.

For a full report of ethical guidelines, see this.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by Astrella

Re: Sexuality; I honestly have no idea where mine comes from and I haven't figured it out fully yet anyway. The earliest hint I had I guess was never really getting gay jokes and what supposedly so horrible about being attracted to boys. (Though considering I'm not a boy it gets a bit messy I guess? ) But in the end I'm not really bothered by not getting it; it's not really relevant to who I am and I think someone's sexuality is just as valid anyway, regardless of the origins.

I thought the general consensus was that our sexuality was innate. Where else could it come from but from ourselves?

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Blind means the patient doesn't know if he's given active treatment or placebo. Double-blind means that the experimenter doesn't know either. You label all the pillbox (momentary brainfart, I know that's not the real word) and a computer does the randomization. Triple blind means the statisticians don't know either. Quadruble blind studies haven't been performed yet, but just wait...

Wouldn't quadruple blind mean that the computer didn't know because it wiped itself so that you couldn't figure out which group was the control group?

Originally Posted by noparlpf

Hmm, so as long as the patients realise they may be receiving placebo, and are okay with that FOR SCIENCE!, it's okay.

I have a suspicion that emphasizing the possibility of them receiving a placebo would increase their paranoia that they were one of the ones getting a placebo and muck with the results, though, I must admit, I'm not very familiar with what information is released to people as they're entering into such studies.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

I thought the general consensus was that our sexuality was innate. Where else could it come from but from ourselves?

Like most things it's probably a mix between nurture and nature. And sexual fluidity is also a thing, quite a few people's sexualities shift~

Edit: My point was more that it doesn't and shouldn't matter whether it's a choice or not or what the origins are. Being queer itself isn't harmful so the origins aren't relevant to how one should feel about queerness.

[Zorg]

Originally Posted by Serpentine

Re. ridiculously long showers: I hope none of you lot having hour-long showers live in Australia

Warragamba's at 94% capacity, so I'll go guilt free for now
The shower is my fortress of solitude.


@ Absol - I'm not sure a couple of weeks lead time is such a good idea, especially if your mum is going to bug you about it and snoop. Does it have to be that long a lead up?

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Zorg

The shower is my fortress of solitude.

Ditto. Although our resevoir is at a record low at the moment. Fortunately for conservation, I can't take showers nearly as long as I would like nowadays, on account of having to get up as early as I do.

Originally Posted by Zorg

@ Absol - I'm not sure a couple of weeks lead time is such a good idea, especially if your mum is going to bug you about it and snoop. Does it have to be that long a lead up?

Ditto again. I don't think it's that good of an idea, but I have to be able to work it into their schedules. My mom's is very fluid, and while that means it will be easy for her to take the time in the middle of the day to go with me, it also means I have to get into her schedule as soon as possible, so she doesn't book that time.

My dad's schedule is very strict (and is likely going to be the harder one to work around), and so I have to let him know well ahead of time so that he can get the time off approved. And if I tell him, he's going to tell my mom, so either way they're both going to find out about the same time.

I'd love to be able to have it only be a couple of days, but I have no idea how to do it. The other thing that's going to be awkward is the drive there. Let's just say that I didn't pick my therapist based on the convenience of her location. We have to drive for nearly an hour to get there. What are we going to say?

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Regarding Showers: Going from sharing a shower in college to having a shower all to myself was terrible for my water bill. For the past two years, one of my roommates and his girlfriend would "have fun" in the shower for 2-3 hours on weekends, which fortunately didn't kill the heat but did leave anyone else who wanted to do anything productive on those days little time for showering; now, I can take hour-long showers if I want to so I can relax after long days at work, and I frequently do.

Regarding nature-vs.-nurture: I'm leaning heavily towards the all-or-at-least-mostly-nature side. I'm between a 5.5 and a 6 on the Kinsey scale, have known as far back as I can remember, and was in a conservative religious environment that was not at all conducive to or supportive of being gay; if something somehow accidentally managed to turn me gay despite all that, I'd be very impressed.

Regarding SOs: Less than a month now until the BF moves to the area, and I'm counting down the days....

Regarding something else: Weekend plans! A friend of mine from high school, who I haven't really kept in touch with and recently reconnected with, recently moved to the area and rented an apartment with three roommates, sight-unseen, without knowing anything about the various San Francisco neighborhoods. Turns out the four of them, all straight, are living in the Castro, on the main drag between a gay bar on one side, a dance club on the other, and a strip club across the street. He has invited me and some mutual friends in the area to go exploring the Castro with him this weekend, for the novelty value I suppose. I haven't come out to him yet since this is the first time I've seen him in years, and so will be coming out to him at the most opportune moment. Should be an interesting weekend.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by PairO'Dice Lost

Regarding nature-vs.-nurture: I'm leaning heavily towards the all-or-at-least-mostly-nature side. I'm between a 5.5 and a 6 on the Kinsey scale, have known as far back as I can remember, and was in a conservative religious environment that was not at all conducive to or supportive of being gay; if something somehow accidentally managed to turn me gay despite all that, I'd be very impressed.

I have a question: What is this Kinsey scale that gets mentioned every so often? I've never heard of it before.

Originally Posted by PairO'Dice Lost

Regarding SOs: Less than a month now until the BF moves to the area, and I'm counting down the days....

Yay! Happy thoughts to the two of you!

Originally Posted by PairO'Dice Lost

Regarding something else: Weekend plans! A friend of mine from high school, who I haven't really kept in touch with and recently reconnected with, recently moved to the area and rented an apartment with three roommates, sight-unseen, without knowing anything about the various San Francisco neighborhoods. Turns out the four of them, all straight, are living in the Castro, on the main drag between a gay bar on one side, a dance club on the other, and a strip club across the street. He has invited me and some mutual friends in the area to go exploring the Castro with him this weekend, for the novelty value I suppose. I haven't come out to him yet since this is the first time I've seen him in years, and so will be coming out to him at the most opportune moment. Should be an interesting weekend.

Hehehe, sounds like it'll be a fun weekend!

[blackfox]

Originally Posted by Absol197

I have a question: What is this Kinsey scale that gets mentioned every so often? I've never heard of it before.

Kinsey Scale. A somewhat outdated measure of how gay or straight you are. 0 is entirely heterosexual and 6 is entirely homosexual. I imagine most people are around a .5-1. I'm about a 2.5.

[golentan]

Kinsey also gave us the great quote that "The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by blackfox

Kinsey Scale. A somewhat outdated measure of how gay or straight you are. 0 is entirely heterosexual and 6 is entirely homosexual. I imagine most people are around a .5-1. I'm about a 2.5.

I saw a similar variant used in a survey once, the only difference being that it went from 0 to 9. I wrote in √(-1). (I cannot believe that I remember Alt-251 is the root symbol.)

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by blackfox

Kinsey Scale. A somewhat outdated measure of how gay or straight you are. 0 is entirely heterosexual and 6 is entirely homosexual. I imagine most people are around a .5-1. I'm about a 2.5.

Huh. Now I want to try and place myself, but that's proving to be rather difficult - do I measure from the viewpoint of sex, or gender? I would assume he meant it for sex, but that doesn't sit all that well with me anymore.

Oh, well. Thanks for informing me! This thread is both fun and educational!

EDIT: @ Noparlpf -

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Zorg

Yes, because transgender dysphoria is exactly the same as being a bit overweight...

They have some wonderful interplay, I'll tell you that.

Originally Posted by Heliomance

I actually don't know. I always believed I was only interested in women, but there are a couple of guys (Teddy, Kneenibble I'm looking at you) that I've looked at at gone "wow, they're seriously hot". I also strongly suspect that if I woke up one morning in a female body, with nothing else changed, I'd be comfortably bisexual. Certainly I occasionally fantasize about being female and having a boyfriend. I just have a strong aversion to the idea of me with a male body being with another male.

I used to feel like that, but I've gotten either more open or more desperate as time goes by. Prolly helps that most of the people my flirting works on tend to be male.

Originally Posted by golentan

Kinsey also gave us the great quote that "The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.

I LIKE this.

[Leona]

Originally Posted by golentan

Kinsey also gave us the great quote that "The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.

"

Sorry, it was glaring and I was twitching :P

[supernerd]

Originally Posted by golentan

On topic though... Do people here believe they were born with their sexual orientation (and specifically only that)? I ask because I was called homophobic and closeted today for saying I didn't believe I was born with my sexuality. Funnily enough he stormed off before I could point out I was bisexual and thought that it was partially social and environmental, but... yeah...

I don't believe humans can voluntarily change their sexual orientation (well, not with the inadequate neurological technology humans have developed as of this writing anyway), and from my own experience I have to wonder how much of it is a matter of posturing rather than substance, but I also don't believe that it's fixed before it develops. So... other people's opinions?

Yeah... I think it developed during 6th grade, when girls and boys looked different, other than hair length and sounded drastically different. Until then I was attached to anyone, but my conservative, republican, Christian, sheltered child mind only registered with girls that this attachment could be one of those special things between a boy and a girl. Then when I found out it was possible to like boys like that (and never liking girl I that way) a whole slough of new and intense emotions and feelings(oh, *generic overdeity* the first time I wanted/felt desire for a person. Wow!) that I had no idea existed, so I guess some of both. I'd still be "straight" if not for the Internet and a definite list of friends.

[Lentrax]

Originally Posted by golentan

Kinsey also gave us the great quote that "The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.

So true, I wish I had heard this quote earlier.

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

I used to feel like that, but I've gotten either more open or more desperate as time goes by. Prolly helps that most of the people my flirting works on tend to be male.

[KenderWizard]

Social pole-dancing etc

Spoiler

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Gonna Load up this one post rather than quote everything, if you don't mind? Not directed solely at you, a chara.

I will also just use the first bit!
Re: poledancing: I said there's nothing inherently problematic about it, it's the stripper connotations. Again, you can't just say it doesn't have them. Maybe we're having the cultural divide again, but when it's "pole-dancing" as opposed to "gymnastics" or "acrobatics" or "break-dancing" that happen to include poles, that's what people are talking about, at least here. Also, everyone has been supporting Helio's new hobby, all that happened was I said it wasn't for me, and then, foolishly, elaborated.

Originally Posted by Absol197

Very big news today. I saw my therapist yesterday, and we've (read: I've) decided it's time to come out to my parents. She going to help me next time. Two weeks to P-Day. Nervousness! >_<

That is big news, good luck!

Going mad, people. The most annoying part is, I can't go to my therapist unless I register at college, and I can't register unless I get funding, so I can't see my therapist during this stressful period waiting for funding.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

Going mad, people. The most annoying part is, I can't go to my therapist unless I register at college, and I can't register unless I get funding, so I can't see my therapist during this stressful period waiting for funding.

Ah, man . That's no good! *hugs* I'm really rooting for you, and not just for the sake of your mental health! You'll get that funding, and then all you'll have to tell your therapist is how stressed you were!

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

That is big news, good luck!

Thanks. Speaking of which, I'm working on my letter right now. Would anyone be willing to read through it for me, once I done?

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Thanks. Speaking of which, I'm working on my letter right now. Would anyone be willing to read through it for me, once I done?

My PM box is always open.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

I used to feel like that, but I've gotten either more open or more desperate as time goes by. Prolly helps that most of the people my flirting works on tend to be male.

You might consider a reexamination of your techniques if that's undesired then, as if they're anything like how you flirt here, as just from what I've observed I would have just guessed your intended target audience was men.

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by golentan

Kinsey also gave us the great quote that "The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.

http://xkcd.com/487/

[KenderWizard]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Ah, man . That's no good! *hugs* I'm really rooting for you, and not just for the sake of your mental health! You'll get that funding, and then all you'll have to tell your therapist is how stressed you were!

Well thank you! ... There are a few other things I could bring up, I'm afraid, but I'm definitely going to tell him about this!

My PM box is open too, but I won't be offended if you want to talk to someone with more relevant experience.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Thanks. Speaking of which, I'm working on my letter right now. Would anyone be willing to read through it for me, once I done?

My box is always open as well~

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

Going mad, people. The most annoying part is, I can't go to my therapist unless I register at college, and I can't register unless I get funding, so I can't see my therapist during this stressful period waiting for funding.

That's an incredibly bothersome cycle. Hope things work out soon. If you need to vent or whatever I've been practicing being an amateur therapist.

Originally Posted by Absol197

Thanks. Speaking of which, I'm working on my letter right now. Would anyone be willing to read through it for me, once I done?

Good luck! (I don't remember if I saw your first post in this mess of new thread pages.) If you'd like I can read it for you. My PM box is pretty empty.

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

You might consider a reexamination of your techniques if that's undesired then, as if they're anything like how you flirt here, as just from what I've observed I would have just guessed your intended target audience was men.

I only really flirt on the playground, rather than Flirting. The former is just for funzies. Genuine romantic desire would be much less... blunt. Until the point where, unable to see through the mists of subtlety, I ask directly 'are we still joke-flirting?'

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Huh. Now I want to try and place myself, but that's proving to be rather difficult - do I measure from the viewpoint of sex, or gender? I would assume he meant it for sex, but that doesn't sit all that well with me anymore.

You measure it as a woman because you are a woman. Anyone who thinks anything else either doesn't have all the facts or is acting like a ****.

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

You measure it as a woman because you are a woman. Anyone who thinks anything else either doesn't have all the facts or is acting like a ****.

I, on the other hand, am a little trickier to classify :P

[Lix Lorn]

You're just awkward though.
I am kidding and we love you. So no taking that seriously D=

[KenderWizard]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

That's an incredibly bothersome cycle. Hope things work out soon. If you need to vent or whatever I've been practicing being an amateur therapist.

Thanks, hon! Actually, I'm lucky, my best friend works at a helpline and might become a therapist when she's older. So she's being very patient with my fairly frequent teary phone calls these days.

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

I only really flirt on the playground, rather than Flirting. The former is just for funzies. Genuine romantic desire would be much less... blunt. Until the point where, unable to see through the mists of subtlety, I ask directly 'are we still joke-flirting?'

I've totally been there!

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

You measure it as a woman because you are a woman. Anyone who thinks anything else either doesn't have all the facts or is acting like a ****.

What does it say about me that I read the "****" as "butt"?

Originally Posted by Heliomance

I, on the other hand, am a little trickier to classify :P

That's why we have androsexual/gynosexual.
And fluidsexual. That's a word now.

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

Thanks, hon! Actually, I'm lucky, my best friend works at a helpline and might become a therapist when she's older. So she's being very patient with my fairly frequent teary phone calls these days.

That's good. I'm a pretty bad therapist anyway.
I'm just starting up seeing a therapist here as of Monday. I think I'll be working on anxiety because my depression is pretty under control right now and anxiety just makes it worse, so I want to work on that first.