My fiance (Puumpkhym) and I have been together for 9 years. We've been engaged for 5 of those years. And in 2013 we are finally going to offically become husband and wife. And now I'm working on the best wedding day I can possibly deliver for my lady.
The plan is either September 8 or October 13, ceremony and reception at the Calgary Zoo. We're going Steampunk/Victorian. With a focus on adventure and exploration. We're gamers, we constantly play together, we adventure together, and the idea is that as we are getting married, we are embarking on yet another great adventure, with a new frontier to explore.
The Calgary Zoo is a wonderful venue. It has everything we need for photos, guests can entertain themselves between the ceremony and reception, the new butterfly house is astonishingly pretty, and the conservatory attatched to the conference hall we want is going to be amazing for some goodies we have planned. We might even pull off a treasure hunt.
We've been trying to incorporate some traditions from other cultures, but ultimately not come up with anything we particularly found enjoyable, or have elements which would not work well with the venue (IE-Fire and in greater quantities than the venue is likely to permit). If we can't find something we like for use during the ceremony, we have a few ideas of our own planned which are mostly steampunk related. We also plan on theming each table at the reception based around a different part of the world, including an Atlantis table.
Does anyone have any suggestions for ceremony traditions we could incorporate? We're non-religious and pretty open-minded, as long as it isn't too extreme we just might give it a go.
"I was once on a world where their principle form of entertainment was juggling geese" --Mal Renolds, Firefly
The above quote flawlessly exemplifies something I would find too extreme for our event.
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
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Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
Are you planning on a procession for the wedding party? The new trend is for the couple to walk in together. One idea is an honor guard for the procession; personally I'm a not fan of those, but it's not my wedding
Music is a question, especially as you'll have an outdoor wedding. Flowers are another. If the officiant doesn't know you well, you could have a close friend speak at the ceremony about your relationship. You could also have a friend read a poem or an essay about love/marriage that you like.
That sounds like fun. What is the signifigance of holding the 'yaaaaaam' exactly? Longer you hold it the more success kind of thing?
Hmmm. Since we have a different theme for each table, we could look up a different toast per table, then do our best to learn how to say it properly. That actually sounds like fun!
Hmmm. We are having an Atlantis themed table. How do you toast in Atlantean? =p
Actually, we could use one of those invented language like esperonto or something. That would work.
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Originally Posted by snoopy13a
Couples writing their own vows is a common trend.
Easy enough, might as well.
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Are you planning on a procession for the wedding party? The new trend is for the couple to walk in together.
You know that famous youtube video of the couple dancing down the isle with their entire party? We want to do something like that, to a remix of Putting on the Ritz. If we can find one that fits the theme that is.
Yes, I'm still searching for the version used by that awesome Russian flashmob. Sadly no luck yet.
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One idea is an honor guard for the procession; personally I'm a not fan of those, but it's not my wedding
I know rather a lot of people with swords, partly because I sword fight for fun and profit. It would be easy enough to arrange. However, if there are swords at the wedding, someone is going to insist that I swordfight. And frankly, I just don't feel like doing that. But, we might be able to come up with something.
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Music is a question, especially as you'll have an outdoor wedding. Flowers are another.
Given the proposed time of year, probably indoor. Music plans for the reception are going well, plans for the ceremony so far... I'm still looking for a great theme to come down the isle to. I have one in mind, but I can't find a version of the song for download, only audio copies of a youtube video.
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If the officiant doesn't know you well, you could have a close friend speak at the ceremony about your relationship. You could also have a friend read a poem or an essay about love/marriage that you like.
What I should do is have someone tell the story of how we met. Most couples have cute stories about how they met. We don't. We met over vomit. It's pretty entertaining actually.
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Originally Posted by Katana_Geldar
If you find a good celebrant they can help you with ceremony traditions. Like a hand fasting, a unity candle, a sand ceremony or a rose ceremony.
Ours is doing a hand fasting with us.
We've got a hybrid of the unity candle/sand ceremony involving White and Amber and Orange LED firefly's and a lantern.
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
Well, I would heartily recommend October 13, since it worked out so well for me and my partner.
As for traditions to include, I'd recommend one that might not be terribly gamer geek-related, but it's a nice one. It's simple: get a silver sixpence (UK, 1947 or earlier for 50% silver, 1920 or earlier for sterling), should be pretty cheap. You could get one on Ebay or from a local coin shop. And you just put it in your lady's shoe for the ceremony. It's part of the older version of the "Something old, something new" rhyme.
I'd recommend getting one dated for a year of importance to one of your families. We went with 1910 for my partner's grandfather's birth year, since he died a few months before we got married.
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Originally Posted by The Giant
Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
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Originally Posted by The Giant
No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.
The coin in the shoe thing is known to me.
I ran it by my lady, she's not really into the idea.
However, the zoo does have a commemorative penny machine. One where it squeezes a penny and imprints something else on it? Yeah those.
We might be able to make something out of that.
We've got a photographer, we've got a video guy, we've got a DJ, we've got a JP. Flowers and dresses I leave to the bride. My outfit is actually already worked out, I just need to purchase a waistcoat that catches my eye. I'm also rocking a pair of RCMP riding boots circa 1910-1920. And I have to dance in them. They weigh something like 6 pounds each, the leather is that dense and heavy.
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
I know rather a lot of people with swords, partly because I sword fight for fun and profit. It would be easy enough to arrange. However, if there are swords at the wedding, someone is going to insist that I swordfight. And frankly, I just don't feel like doing that. But, we might be able to come up with something.
How about instead of the first dance, you and your now-wife renact the clifftops duel scene from The Princess Bride?
One suggestion - put a disposable camera on each table and let the guests take whatever pictures they like during the reception. Collect them all at the end and put the photos up online so that everybody can share.
Custom idea: at Chinese weddings, there is a large piece of red silk that guests sign - this acts both as a memorial and that each guest was a witness to your wedding.
I think a similar custom in western weddings is a guest book?
Zoos are great places for this sort of thing -- that's where we had ours. My suggestions?
Give the guests plenty of time to enjoy the venue, keep the ceremony short and then get to the celebration.
Incorporate small travel-sized toys with the table decorations. Have people sign a 'wedding guestbook calendar'. That way you can read their special messages all year long rather than just collect a bunch of autographs.
First off, congratulations!
How about instead of the first dance, you and your now-wife renact the clifftops duel scene from The Princess Bride?
This was something we had briefly considered. Here is my explanation of why I'm not too keen on swordfighting at my wedding, spoilered for length.
Spoiler
1-It's expected of me. Which sort of makes it a bit less interesting. I have had everyone and their dog ask me if there will be any fighting. It's more interesting if I can entertain everyone without resorting to a swordfight.
2-This isn't about me, it's about us. While a duel between bride and groom would look like an 'us' thing, ultimately someone has to lose, someone has to win. We ran over a few scenarios when trying to plan one out, one of which was that we both drop our weapons at the same time and embrace in order to end it, symbolic of the surrender. We just couldn't find a variation of it that wasn't cheesy, nor could we come up with banter leading up to that point that managed to fit the theme or tone.
3-There are other people attending my wedding who also swordfight. There is a good chance they would want to get in on the action, or start a fight with someone else. Not a good plan.
4-I don't want to rescue my wife. She's my partner. She's my equal. She's not a damsel. Any situation which would see swordfighting at my wedding would likely encourage someone to set up a 'rescue the bride' scenario. We're just not interested in that.
5-Violence + Wedding just doesn't really mix for us.
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One suggestion - put a disposable camera on each table and let the guests take whatever pictures they like during the reception. Collect them all at the end and put the photos up online so that everybody can share.
Yeup, standard operating proceedure with most events I do as it is.
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Custom idea: at Chinese weddings, there is a large piece of red silk that guests sign - this acts both as a memorial and that each guest was a witness to your wedding.
I think a similar custom in western weddings is a guest book?
Oooh, classy. I think we can even spin that into our theme.
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Originally Posted by Fragenstein
Zoos are great places for this sort of thing -- that's where we had ours. My suggestions?
Give the guests plenty of time to enjoy the venue, keep the ceremony short and then get to the celebration.
Ceremony is at 2 or 3, with reception at 4 or 5. During the time between, the guests can go entertain themselves at the zoo, in costume (which tends to make it even more fun), rather than stand around and wait while bride and groom go get pictures done.
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Incorporate small travel-sized toys with the table decorations. Have people sign a 'wedding guestbook calendar'. That way you can read their special messages all year long rather than just collect a bunch of autographs.
Yeah, we are definitely looking for more than just signatures. We've seen a few really nifty ideas, including this one book and ink-pad set. You press your thumb or finger against the ink-pad, then press it in the book. Then you take markers and make a silly picture using the print. Below that one writes their well wishes.
We were going to do that, but with henna ink. I forget exactly which culture does this, but it is customary to have everyone in the wedding party, and typically the guests as well, mark their (left?) wrist below the palm with henna, while the bride is usually adorned with henna designs on her hands and feet the night before.
Come to think of it, we haven't really given the guestbook much thought just yet. Right, that goes to the top of the list for next brainstorming session.
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
So many people have phone cameras these days and their own digital cameras that having disposable ones can be a waste of money. Ask proole to send you photos.
You could have d20s in little bags as bonbonnere, and there is a guy who makes chocolate gaming dice.
A bottle of wine and a paper hearts at each plate. People write whatever they want and you put them and the wine in a wooden box. On your one year anniversary you drink the wine and read the comments.
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"So, Lord Elrond. Have I gotten this right? You want us to give the One Ring to the halfling? To Belkar?"
"Roughly half of humanity is in denial regarding their own stupidity" (V.S.Ramachandran)
So many people have phone cameras these days and their own digital cameras that having disposable ones can be a waste of money. Ask proole to send you photos.
While this is true, having physical cameras present might make people more inclined to take photos, and you also don't have to rely on people sending you through their photos (you'll probably only get a handful of replies), especially since a lot of people will want to edit them first.
It's probably a decision to make on the basis of your budget and whether you think you can afford it.
Okay, renting the venue is going to cost 2 grand, food is probably going to cost 2 grand, DJ/Photos/JP is clocking in at under 1000. Miscelaneous costs budget is 1000. Dress is already looked after, or so I understand. And this is before family helps out with anything.
I saved 8K cash, I will have saved another 2K cash by the wedding (and cleared off my non-mortgage debts). And my grandparents are paying for a big family vacation right after the wedding. So my fiance will have a good budget for our more official honeymoon afterwards.
It's either a trip to Japan, a mediteranian cruise, or Blizzcon if one occurs in 2013.
So. Ceremony and Reception fun times.
We've got plans for our first dance together (highly choreographed, but that's normal for us), and our last dance of the evening. The final dance of the evening is just us, it's slow and wuffy, and we plan on holding that lantern I mentioned before.
In an another dance, we plan on the song Starships (the Lindsey Sterling version of the song) and flying our Zeplins around while encouraging others to get up and dance.
Parents dances are giving us trouble. Groom has to dance with 3 ladies (groom's mother and grandmother, bride's mother). Bride has to dance with 2 gents (bride's father, groom's grandfather). We would like to get all that out of the way in two songs rather than, well, 5. And we're doing parents dances and wedding party dances before our first dance. We really need to pick some music and soon.
We do want some steampunk music and some old timey stuff. I've been searching high and low for a version of Putting on the Ritz that we both like, so far no dice. There is currently a distinct lack of accordian and fiddle in upbeat dance music these days.
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
My parents recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, I was announcer and host for the knight, and it's the first time I've had family be more cheerful the more tipsy I was. Fluffing my lines got a cheer.
So I've got to ask, are you organising this wedding on your lonesome? Do you have any friends that might be assisting you?
My parents met through traditional (english and scottish folk) dancing, and so they had a dance instructor arrive. I'm sure there might be a western or traditional court dance instructor in your area, and the zoo will probably have an open area you can use to dance in. They will probably be able to do something fitting in to the steam punk style, my dad's 17th and 1thth century dance gear would fit right in.
It's also a great way to commence the dancing. Do you have a band organised? Does the zoo have any bands they recommend or allow you to bring one? Or at least use of a sound system or permission to bring one?
Instead of sword, maybe ask all your friends to bring a steampunk rifle? That might be a tall order, so instead, perhaps ask your friends to wear empty scabbards to your festivities, and provide them with long flowers or palm branches of some kind? A long lily flower stiffend by whatever a florist suggests might make a fine 'sword' for an honour guard and arch. And they won't sword fight with them, and if they do... it's a flower.
My Mum is jewish, so they have a ketubah, which my dad had reordered a much more ornate one that they resigned and now have framed on the wall. Maybe a nice big velum scroll for a wedding certificate might be possible? If not for the official one, then a nice showy one you can hang on the wall.
Also, At a Zoo, are you going to be able to drink? Will they lay on a bar?
Dancing and Drink are a must at any wedding where the entertainment of a fight (with swords or not) is going to be provided.
To quote Nanny Ogg:
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Howto Have the Fight:—A fight is traditional at all Ramtops weddings, except those involving royalty, where the tradition is a small war.
Lots of people have asked me for advice about this. They say, 'Mrs Ogg, can you just rely on there bein' a fight?' And, yes, you gen'rally can. My advice is to make sure the drink is strong enough and that people are seated right to make it happen quite soon. That way you've got it over with and can get on with things without that naggin' feelin' that something's wrong. Once it starts, though, it's vital to see that it goes properly, viz:
Stage One:This is what some people call The Challenge. It starts as soon as people have a few drinks inside them and start to chatter, whereupon Man 1 will say, per'aps:
'What was that you said about our Lil?'
(This is only an example, of course. Other suitable challenges include: 'Hah, you wouldn't talk like that if you knew what our grandad told us about your mum,' and, if all else fails, 'That's my pint you're suppin'' (although this is considered pretty poor and suggests not much thought has gone into things).)
This will take us to Stage Two: The Question. Again, this is fairly
formal, but Man 2 can choose between a number of inquiries,seekin' to ascertain as it might be whetherMan 1 requires a face-ful of dandruff/knuckle sandwich/a nose that touches his ears on both sides.
The men will circle one another three or four times,which should not be difficult by now since both parties will be findin' it a lot easier to walk in circles. The crowd at this point are permitted a number of witticisms and shouts of encouragement, such as,'Kick him inna fork, our Sam!'
At this point one bystander,known as the Shover,will push one of the circling men towards the other (technic'ly this is Stage Three, which does not last long). This will result in some aimless flailin',but the first decently landed blow will result in Stage Four: the Wives. At a signal,the ladies associated with the men will each grab their partner and shout variants on 'You wait till I gets you 'ome, I can't let you out of my sight for five minutes!' Hitting the man over the head with handbags is ritual at this point or, if the reception has gone on for some time, a bottle may be substituted.
Stage Five begins when one of the ladies says to the other something on the lines of, 'I'm surprised you've got the nerve to show your face here, after what you did to Aunty Shipley!' and they then fall to fighting with rather more malign expertise than their menfolk, who bury their differences to separate the couple before something expensive gets broken.
The bride then cuts the cake
What's your opinion on feeding each other cake in a slightly ridiculous manner? I've been to several cousins' weddings and it comes off as cute if the couple are into it (one did a cake bite with each other followed by an immediate and very passionate kiss ), but if you're not into it, it will look silly.
On a more serious note, if you haven't already, I would suggest giving the officiant a chance to say a few words to the two of you privately (or quasi-privately with just the immediate wedding party). If the officiant is someone you respect, it will really stick with you, and I know that at my brother's wedding it ended up being one of his most memorable takeaways.
Edit: changed an apostrophe to avoid implying one cousin had several weddings.
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Lawyer Pony Avatar by Dirtytabs, exalted as an Eclipse by Elemental, now with a fancy robe.
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Originally Posted by The Giant
Anarion's right on the money here.
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Spoiler
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Originally Posted by Tiki Snakes
Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Anarion Mori?
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Originally Posted by Tiki Snakes
You just highlandered an entire city block into a glass-filled storm by road-runnering down it in your underwear.
after the 'I dos', have the vicar, or priest or whoever is going to officiate your wedding roll some polyhedral dice and consult a table before he pronounces you husband and wife
Not only will it get hilariously blank stares from anyone who doesn't roleplay, all the guests that do will think it's comedy genius
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'We don't tell people what to think River. We just show them how'.
after the 'I dos', have the vicar, or priest or whoever is going to officiate your wedding roll some polyhedral dice and consult a table before he pronounces you husband and wife
Not only will it get hilariously blank stares from anyone who doesn't roleplay, all the guests that do will think it's comedy genius
Or....Have him roll twice, once for bride, once for groom.
The tables correspond to a list of titles for us.
Husband and Wife
X and X
Y and Y
Or whatever combination he rolls.
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
Or....Have him roll twice, once for bride, once for groom.
The tables correspond to a list of titles for us.
Husband and Wife
X and X
Y and Y
Or whatever combination he rolls.
Even better
I salute your genius comrade!
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'We don't tell people what to think River. We just show them how'.
By the power vested in me by the authority of the province of alberta I hearby proclaim you *rolls die* bowswain and *rolls die* admiral.
You may kiss the admiral.
And the JP we have will TOTALLY be up for this.
Now I need a table of potential names. Naval ranks and positions aboard a ship, titles for husband and wife, what else...?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anarion
What's your opinion on feeding each other cake in a slightly ridiculous manner? I've been to several cousins' weddings and it comes off as cute if the couple are into it (one did a cake bite with each other followed by an immediate and very passionate kiss ), but if you're not into it, it will look silly.
We aren't entirely against the idea, but for us to be excited about smearing cake in each others faces, I think we need to find a good spin to put on it.
Catapults?
(totally kidding)
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
We aren't entirely against the idea, but for us to be excited about smearing cake in each others faces, I think we need to find a good spin to put on it.
Catapults?
(totally kidding)
Just picture this with CAKE
Spoiler
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'We don't tell people what to think River. We just show them how'.
I'm glad comrade
you can repay me by making sure parts of the ceremony are filmed, so that I can share in your amazing day
I may do one better and stream it. Maybe. Depends on how good the internet down at the zoo is.
Production has officially begun!
My lady and I have so much stuff we have to make or modify, that we've committed to a project night on monday nights. And because we have so much to practice and rehearse (our dances are very elaborate), friday is likely to turn into rehersal night. Rehearsal night will also include us learning to fly our zepplins, since we live next to a field anyway.
Production schedule is as follows.
-Paper Bouquet's
-Test Zepplin
-Actual Zepplins
-Costumes
-Lantern
-Table 'theme' props and lanterns
Less than a year of mondays to go.
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
I may do one better and stream it. Maybe. Depends on how good the internet down at the zoo is.
Production has officially begun!
My lady and I have so much stuff we have to make or modify, that we've committed to a project night on monday nights. And because we have so much to practice and rehearse (our dances are very elaborate), friday is likely to turn into rehersal night. Rehearsal night will also include us learning to fly our zepplins, since we live next to a field anyway.
Production schedule is as follows.
-Paper Bouquet's
-Test Zepplin
-Actual Zepplins
-Costumes
-Lantern
-Table 'theme' props and lanterns
Less than a year of mondays to go.
Good Luck!
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'We don't tell people what to think River. We just show them how'.
So, we were dead set on Putting on the Ritz for our song to come down the aisle to (the whole procession), but we can't find a version we like.
As such I am searching through steampunk music and bands for something to use, so far I haven't had much in the way of luck. Discovered some really silly stuff like Professor Elemental though.
"I'll put on my fighting trousers."
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
K, vows and such.
We were considering doing personal affirmations followed by the JP taking us through the vows. Something extremely personal between the two of us right before the copy paste vows.
We want to keep them to 6-8 lines each, we might alternate 'paragraphs' or mix it up some how.
I've got mine started, it just needs some fleshing out.
We are joining together for the greatest journey of our lives.
I'll follow you anywhere on any adventure,
from fools errand to epic journey,
from tragedy to victory,
from one legend to another.
Oh, in case anyone is concerned, we aren't having kids. We might adopt some day though, and we are the unofficial godparents for one family as it is.
__________________
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
K, vows and such.
We were considering doing personal affirmations followed by the JP taking us through the vows. Something extremely personal between the two of us right before the copy paste vows.
We want to keep them to 6-8 lines each, we might alternate 'paragraphs' or mix it up some how.
I've got mine started, it just needs some fleshing out.
We are joining together for the greatest journey of our lives.
I'll follow you anywhere on any adventure,
from fools errand to epic journey,
from tragedy to victory,
from one legend to another.
Oh, in case anyone is concerned, we aren't having kids. We might adopt some day though, and we are the unofficial godparents for one family as it is.
AFAIK, all god parents are unofficial, being the designated guardian in case of
anything happening is something else. If it's important to you and your friends, I suggest making it official. Particularly in the case of problems with family who might dispute the childrens care.
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