So I'm all ready to DM, except just one thing... I DON'T HAVE THE TIME

[Gastronomie]

So like, I have this brilliant idea in mind about a campaign,
I've thought out all the places and NPCs and encounters and possible plotlines and everything,
And then I realize I don't have the IRL time to actually DM that campaign.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Damn is it stressful.
Does this happen to you.
I first thought about having this thread title be "So I'm all ready to DM, except just one thing..." but then I realized I hate threads which don't specify their main point in the title and fancy being clickbait, so that's that.

[hymer]

I know how that is, though perhaps from a different angle. When looking back at my RPG database, I can see I have more than twice as many campaign outlines as I have actual campaigns. I've run three campaigns over a period of a few months, but I just can't do it for longer. I burn out. It's not like I couldn't find the time, just that I also need some time to recharge my mind. I'm currently running two campaigns, and yet I had to take January off from DMing. And I'm already coming up with ideas for different campaigns that I know I'll never get to run.

[RazorChain]

No I don't relate.

RPG's have always been one of my primary hobbies since I was a kid so I prioritize that before other hobbies. So if you can't find 4 hours every two weeks or so then you must be really busy because you seem to have everything else figured out.

Yes there have been times in my life that I had to play less than I wanted but these periods have been fleeting and limited my time to GM as I didn't have time for prep work.

[ImNotTrevor]

I just play systems where GM prep time is really really low.

I can prep for any PBTA system in about 20 minutes, with the exception of the 90 minute First Prep for the 2nd session.

FATE, I don't bother prepping much by way of specifics. Just a list of what NPCs are up to right now and intend to do. Trying to plot for, well, a plot, is a fool's errand in that game. Things will get crazy, rapidly. Just strap in and try to keep up.

If you do D&D as a sandbox/hexcrawl, you can frontload most of the prep by just doing it in your spare time over a few months and then letting the players loose in that sandbox.

It can be done, unless the problem is not having time to PLAY, in which case go to PbP

[Darth Ultron]

Well, make the time.

If you want to do something...make the time to do it.

Sit down and write out a timeline for a week and note everything you do hour by hour. Note things you can't change....and then note the ones you can.

Then change them.

[tensai_oni]

Well, make the time.

If you want to do something...make the time to do it.

Sit down and write out a timeline for a week and note everything you do hour by hour. Note things you can't change....and then note the ones you can.

Then change them.

Brilliant advice. Do you tell people with depression to just get a grip and stop being sad, too?

No I don't relate.

RPG's have always been one of my primary hobbies since I was a kid so I prioritize that before other hobbies. So if you can't find 4 hours every two weeks or so then you must be really busy because you seem to have everything else figured out.

Yes there have been times in my life that I had to play less than I wanted but these periods have been fleeting and limited my time to GM as I didn't have time for prep work.

Spoken from a truly priviledged perspective. I'm happy for you that you have time to pursue your hobbies but there are people in circumstances where they don't have free time for it. Not because their time is taken by other, less "important" hobbies - but because it's taken by job, taking care of family members or other important things. Sometimes they technically do have free time still, but are so tired afterwards that there's no mental energy left for running RPGs.

It sucks to be in such a situation but when you are, it can't be helped. All you can do is wait until your situation improves and you have free time for hobbies. Or you can prioritize funtime over more important things, but that's beyond irresponsible.

[Darth Ultron]

Brilliant advice. Do you tell people with depression to just get a grip and stop being sad, too?

Well, it's a bit of a jump from ''how you live your life'' to ''mental illness''.

But, yes, for anything short of an actual medically diagnosed affliction: You Just Do It.

Like lets take Bob: Bob works for 8 hours, then comes home and watches TV for 8 hours and says ''I don't have time to play an RPG". Well, see all Bob has to do is....not watch 8 hours of TV one day a week...and he can play the game.

[SirSlicksAlot]

Well, it's a bit of a jump from ''how you live your life'' to ''mental illness''.

But, yes, for anything short of an actual medically diagnosed affliction: You Just Do It.

Like lets take Bob: Bob works for 8 hours, then comes home and watches TV for 8 hours and says ''I don't have time to play an RPG". Well, see all Bob has to do is....not watch 8 hours of TV one day a week...and he can play the game.

Let's take Bob: Bob works 8 hours a day, his job can be pretty slow at times, so he fills the downtime by thinking about TTRPG prep stuff. Then Bob has to go home and take care of his 2 kids, because he's a single dad. By the time he has fed, cared for, bathed and put his kids down to sleep it is 10 o'clock and he has to sleep for his 8 hour day of work the next day. There are definitely life situations that would prevent people from playing in tabletops. Just saying.

[MrNobody]

Time is always one of the hardest things to find when talking about gaming.

If the actual problem.is finding the time.to PLAY you should think about rework your schedule to make it fit.
The past two years i had my 8 hours/day work while studying (at home, everyday fro dinner to midnight) for a post university degree: studying was easier during the week so i ended.up playing on sunday, as a player, when i was less performing on study.
Now that i'm done studying i started DMing and moved the "game night" at friday: now i can use the weekend for family, other hobbies and... chores.

If the problem is the time to PREPARE the game you.can:
- not prepare it: improvise! Go with the flow, prepare as little as you really need and fix the rest to.have a funny game without worring to much.
- be wise, prepare things when you have to fill time that would be otherwise be wasted. I used to write while driving (biking, tbh) using an app on my smartphone for vocal writing. I talked all the way home, re reading everything and fixing it while sitting... on... my... ehrm... toilet....

Also be flexible and understand what can be done: dont stress yourself over playing every week if you can afford one play per month, don't struggle to have everyplayer at every game if you cannot (we play with 4 of 5 players, by rule)...

In the end, optimize the time at the table: one of my player has 2 little children, we start playing at 21.00, he puts them to bed and menages to arrive at 21.30/21.45. meanwhile i start playing solo parts of other players to be ready to adress him and the whole group when he arrives.

Hope this helps, good luck ;)

[Darth Ultron]

Let's take Bob: Bob works 8 hours a day, his job can be pretty slow at times, so he fills the downtime by thinking about TTRPG prep stuff. Then Bob has to go home and take care of his 2 kids, because he's a single dad. By the time he has fed, cared for, bathed and put his kids down to sleep it is 10 o'clock and he has to sleep for his 8 hour day of work the next day. There are definitely life situations that would prevent people from playing in tabletops. Just saying.

Except Bob can still do it if he wants too.

First, your Bob seems to forget the weekend.

Second, Bob seems to take A LOT of time, apparently, actively doing things for his kids....and that is a bit odd. He is somehow filling every second of eight hours? Maybe he needs a bit of time management.

Third, sleep? You really want to game? Give up sleep. You can get by a day without sleep(assuming your job is not disarming active bombs every second of the day for eight hours). So put the kids to bed, and then run a game, then go to work. It can be done.

There are also things like babysitters and playdates...where you have another watch the kids. Really it works great for parents...even single ones to ''trade'' watching all the kids.

The overall the point is Bob can find pr more so make the time if he wants too.

[Honest Tiefling]

There's been periods of time where work would have made a game prohibitive to me. I could also see a lot of people in college or graduate school undergoing a temporary time crunch. If you don't forsee a lessening of work in the future, I'd try to sit down and reconsider some priorities.

In the mean time, are you sure you can't fine tune that campaign? You can probably edit notes on the go or during a commute. Fine tune that sucker until it is the best damn campaign. Find or make artwork. Consider ways to get or make miniatures and sets to really bring your work to life because it deserves it. Find music to create a playlist for the game even since you can often listen to music while doing other things.

[JenBurdoo]

I play at work, when I can drag a handful of teens or tweens away from the computers.

But then, I'm a children's librarian. It's literally my job to find things for them to do.

It still doesn't work too well, because they're so flighty and have so many other hobbies. Kids these days...! </getting old>

I run the simplest rulesets I can find, invent or hack, for an hour per session tops, and no longer assume I'll get another go, at least not with the same kids at the same time next week. But I still get some gaming in occasionally.

I could go to the FLGS and play in their campaign (which runs at about the time I get off work). But it's seventeen miles away. Yeah, I could take the time and the two extra gallons of gas a week, but I hate driving, especially in the dark. The most "real" gaming I get these days is every couple months or so when I go to the local historical group's clubhouse - again, seventeen miles away. I have to plan, maybe get the day off. It's worth it when I get there, but I have to force myself to get up early and "just do it" first.

I have the same problem with vacations.

I'm an armchair gamer these days; have lost count of the number of RPGs, wargames and unbuilt miniatures I have on my shelves and in my hard drive. Which confuses the hell out of my Dad. ("Tell me again why you're keeping a hundred White Dwarves from decades ago in this tiny apartment?") But at least it provides some release ... and keeps me saner than I would be otherwise. I read reviews, rules and battle reports, converse with online friends, and write rules and campaigns of my own that may never see the light of day. That's OK, it's still fun.

[Jormengand]

While even partially agreeing with DU leaves a bad taste in my mouth, it often is possible to make time by rescheduling, though I don't actually recommend the "SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!" attitude (I'm not actually going to waste my day finding the myriad of studies showing the blindingly obvious fact that sleep is generally useful for physical and mental wellbeing, but it's true). Look at stuff that you're spending your time on and see how you can find ways to mitigate that.

[Darth Ultron]

While even partially agreeing with DU leaves a bad taste in my mouth, it often is possible to make time by rescheduling, though I don't actually recommend the "SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!" attitude (I'm not actually going to waste my day finding the myriad of studies showing the blindingly obvious fact that sleep is generally useful for physical and mental wellbeing, but it's true). Look at stuff that you're spending your time on and see how you can find ways to mitigate that.

I'm not saying ''sleep is for the weak'' or that not sleeping is a ''good'' idea. But I am saying that you CAN do it.

[Faily]

This thread shows a clear difference of people who either have kids or know enough what it's like to have young kids (I just look at how much time one of our players, a father of 2, dedicates to his kids - from helping with homework, taking them to hockey-practice and coaching them, and all the other things a parent needs to do), and those who are still living a bachelor/bachelorette life...

I know well the feeling of not having the time to run games, or play in them. Conflict of schedules, different work hours, other committments, etc... hours that work well for me don't work for others due to me working a lot of late shifts.

I've found that play-by-post can often be a nice solution to get a roleplay-fix in, since it's easier to find a little bit of time here and there throughout a day to post, than it is to schedule a gaming-session.

[Darth Ultron]

This thread shows a clear difference of people who either have kids or know enough what it's like to have young kids (I just look at how much time one of our players, a father of 2, dedicates to his kids - from helping with homework, taking them to hockey-practice and coaching them, and all the other things a parent needs to do), and those who are still living a bachelor/bachelorette life...

Note that it also shows the clear difference between parents that can manage their life and time.....and the ones that can't or won't.

Some people go down the choice of ''I have kids so I have no time for a life''. Some people don't.

If you make the choice to coach a kid hockey team, then you are making the choice not to have free time to play an RPG. You made your choice: don't complain about it and that you have no time to game.

If you choose to ''help'' kids do homework for four hours....again, that is your choice.

A lot of parents, insanely, try to do it all themselves. Others, are part of the parenting community. Again, this is a choice.

Having kids is ''hard''....anything is ''hard''....if you make it that way.

[JNAProductions]

Note that it also shows the clear difference between parents that can manage their life and time.....and the ones that can't or won't.

Some people go down the choice of ''I have kids so I have no time for a life''. Some people don't.

If you make the choice to coach a kid hockey team, then you are making the choice not to have free time to play an RPG. You made your choice: don't complain about it and that you have no time to game.

If you choose to ''help'' kids do homework for four hours....again, that is your choice.

A lot of parents, insanely, try to do it all themselves. Others, are part of the parenting community. Again, this is a choice.

Having kids is ''hard''....anything is ''hard''....if you make it that way.

DU, do you have kids? Because I don't. As such, I'm not going to say anything about how hard/easy it is to have kids, because I don't have the experience.

But, judging by what I've observed, having kids is NOT EASY, pretty much no matter what.

[Faily]

Note that it also shows the clear difference between parents that can manage their life and time.....and the ones that can't or won't.

Some people go down the choice of ''I have kids so I have no time for a life''. Some people don't.

If you make the choice to coach a kid hockey team, then you are making the choice not to have free time to play an RPG. You made your choice: don't complain about it and that you have no time to game.

If you choose to ''help'' kids do homework for four hours....again, that is your choice.

A lot of parents, insanely, try to do it all themselves. Others, are part of the parenting community. Again, this is a choice.

Having kids is ''hard''....anything is ''hard''....if you make it that way.

Honestly, don't call good parenting for "failure to manage life and time". It's not about trying to do it all themselves - parenting is a full-time job. It's not something you clock out off at bed-time. Even with two parents together and a supportive network around them, finding time to get people together for a gaming session is not easy.

It's not about failure to manage life and time. It makes you sound incredibly dismissive and much like a jerk, and incapable of relating to the difficulties of others.

[Darth Ultron]

It's not about failure to manage life and time. It makes you sound incredibly dismissive and much like a jerk, and incapable of relating to the difficulties of others.

Well, you might note Some people have very little problem parenting and having a life. Some people do.

Some people have well behaved kids, and some people don't.

Some people think that things are just ''random'' and that ''nobody'' has any control over anything in life. And some people know that is not true and have taken control of their lives.

You want to game an RPG on a Firday night..schedule a sleep over for the kids...and game all night long. Really once you do it...it is easy.

But some people just sit on the sofa and watch TV and say ''I have no time to game!''

[JNAProductions]

Well, you might note Some people have very little problem parenting and having a life. Some people do.

Some people have well behaved kids, and some people don't.

Some people think that things are just ''random'' and that ''nobody'' has any control over anything in life. And some people know that is not true and have taken control of their lives.

You want to game an RPG on a Firday night..schedule a sleep over for the kids...and game all night long. Really once you do it...it is easy.

But some people just sit on the sofa and watch TV and say ''I have no time to game!''

Do you have kids, DU? Do you have actual parenting experience?

[2D8HP]

...mthen I realize I don't have the IRL time to actually DM that campaign.

.
Sorry to learn that.

Damn is it stressful.

.
Not having as much free time as you like?

Yes it often is.

Does this happen to you.

.
Sort of.

After my second son was born, it was clear it would be a while before it would a while before it would be wise to do any face-to-face gaming, but that wasn't a surprise.

I thought there was time for PbP, but when my Dad was taken by ambulance due to a brain tumor, I found I had less time than I thought.

Well, you might note Some people have very little problem parenting and having a life. Some people do.

.
Yes, most "some" statements about people are true.

Some people have well behaved kids, and some people don't.

.
True.

Some people think that things are just ''random'' and that ''nobody'' has any control over anything in life. And some people know that is not true and have taken control of their lives

.
Some things people think are luck, aren't, and sometimes things are.

Some think themselves wise, who are just lucky.

Some this, some that.

You want to game an RPG on a Firday night..schedule a sleep over for the kids...and game all night long. Really once you do it...it is easy

.
Only when it's wise Darth.

Appropriate for our eleven-year-old.

Not the newborn.

IN OUR CASE, NOT ALL CASES.

But some people just sit on the sofa and watch TV and say ''I have no time to game!''

.
And some hardly watch TV at all.

Again, some this, some that.

[Marcivo]

The callousness on display in this thread seems very unwarranted. The OP is just expressing his frustration over not having time to run a game, a sentiment that I very much sympathize with.

While I don’t have any children of my own, as a PhD student I can say that working 14 hour days isn’t especially uncommon. Last semester, when I started my current project, I could only get by from pulling weekly all-nighters due to an overwhelming list of administrative, academic and research priorities. Speaking from extensive experience, that’s not at all sustainable. Even if you love your work, the experience of losing so much sleep drains enjoyment from the process. I couldn’t imagine pursuing a hobby that way. I’d start to hate it after the first couple weeks.

And God forbid you work in a job that demands any actual thought, because you’re not going to be able to function effectively the next day.

I see the same callous attitude in burnout undergrads and armchair scientists who harbor deeply held beliefs that critical biological functions are somehow optional and the true problem is that other people just don’t have the spirit to persevere. If they even get into a decently ranked program, they’re usually the first to go. All they have are opinions, but they’ve never really been there, in the thick of things, and actually lived their advice.

In the end, it’s easy to preach from the sidelines when it’s not your life or career or children on the line. It’s hard to develop practical, actionable solutions for things you have no direct experience in.

That being said, the best solution I’ve ever found is to focus on PbP when the going gets rough. Get a few friends together who you can trust to be committed and start running a game online. Set a minimum posting schedule - say one post per player per day - and stick to it. You will make progress telling the stories you want to tell, and you won’t have to herd everyone into your living room for 4+ hours once a week.

[Pugwampy]

Who said you have to play for four hours ? You can ply for two or even one hour . Everyone gets a lunch break , everyone gets a day off .

Everyone deserves ME time .

[Marcivo]

Who said you have to play for four hours ? You can ply for two or even one hour . Everyone gets a lunch break , everyone gets a day off .

Everyone deserves ME time .

Deserving time for yourself is not the same thing as having time for yourself to spare. It’s not true that everyone gets a free hour for lunch. It’s not true that everyone gets a day off consistently enough to schedule a game. And even if you do have that whole hour to yourself, what if your coworkers aren’t interested? What if you have to spend 30 minutes of that lunch hour walking to and from the cafeteria, or commuting to a restaurant during the lunch rush? What if you’re a grad student spending 12-hour days in the lab, and all you can spare is 20 minutes staring at your phone before bed?

It’s not always realistic to assume that people can make that kind of time, much less spare the overhead to effectively plan a game.

[RazorChain]

Ok I'm just going to add few things.

I have 3 children and a career. My children are all on the autism spectrum so they require a little bit extra where the little part may be an understatement.

I dont live in my native country so the support network of an extended family isnt available to me.

I am in middle management an put in lot of hours, luckily I have short commuting time.

I'm an union representative at work which means extra work in my spare time and meetings and courses.

I'm an active member in the Autism community that organizes courses and support for people with autism or family members with autism.

Still I manage to prep a game and run one biweekly.

And yes I help my children with homework and take them to afterschool activities and take active role as their support where needed.

And I watch TV, play computer games, read books and argue on the internet.

[hymer]

@ RazorChain: For some reason the phrase "And you tell the young people of today that and they won't believe you!" pops into mind.

[RazorChain]

@ RazorChain: For some reason the phrase "And you tell the young people of today that and they won't believe you!" pops into mind.

Well it's just beyond understanding that people don't have time. Mostly this is about prioritizing and in extreme circumstances if you are a single parent with no support network working long hours with long commuting time then I understand. Or if you have new born babe, but even then if you have a partner it is prudent to try to make some time if possible for your partner so you can get out of the house or get time for some hobby. But the OP seems to be a college stundent according to his profile.

But from my experience, the people who that appear to have the least time are the best to make time for new things because they are simply more effective at managing their time. I have known people who were star athletes (in college) and devoted a lot of time to training, still aced their exams and were involved in extra curricular activites and volunteer activites and still had time to game and to party.

Like I sometimes make a joke when I compare my life before I had kids

[Darth Ultron]

In the end, it’s easy to preach from the sidelines when it’s not your life or career or children on the line. It’s hard to develop practical, actionable solutions for things you have no direct experience in.

And some people can speak from life experience and even understand and empathize.

It's simple enough: If you choose to have a busy life where you are busy doing things for 24 hours a day, you are choosing to not have free time and time taking hobbies. It is a choice. If you make the choice to be busy 24/7, you have made your choice.

At the same time, though, you can make the time if you want too. Now if your a pessimist you can just sit there and say your powerless and can't do anything. Ok, then fine, just sit there. Anyone else can make the time. It might be ''hard'' to make time....and you might have to give up something else, but it's not impossible.

Deserving time for yourself is not the same thing as having time for yourself to spare. It’s not true that everyone gets a free hour for lunch. It’s not true that everyone gets a day off consistently enough to schedule a game. And even if you do have that whole hour to yourself, what if your coworkers aren’t interested? What if you have to spend 30 minutes of that lunch hour walking to and from the cafeteria, or commuting to a restaurant during the lunch rush? What if you’re a grad student spending 12-hour days in the lab, and all you can spare is 20 minutes staring at your phone before bed?

It’s not always realistic to assume that people can make that kind of time, much less spare the overhead to effectively plan a game.

People can always make the time, except a couple extreme cases.

Lets just take your example of wasting 30 minutes of an hour lunch. Note this is your choice. Don't be so far away from the cafeteria or don't even eat there anyway. How about just bring your lunch with you? Do you bring a mini cooler with a sandwich in it so you can eat roughly two minutes after lunch starts...well, it's possible.

Though this also goes back to if you chose to fill your day up with stuff...then you have made your choice.

[Brookshw]

Though this also goes back to if you chose to fill your day up with stuff...then you have made your choice.

True, choosing your priorities and how to invest your time, energy and money is largely up to you. Parenting is such a choice. Unless someone objects to another's priorities I don't see what's being discussed here.

And yes OP, between parenting, a full time job, maintaining a home, and working on a law degree I do miss the opportunities I might otherwise have enjoyed. But I'm also happy with my choices.

[LaserFace]

Yeah, I can relate to this feeling. I used to get involved in DMing and worldbuilding etc, and loved it. I went back to school and found it eating up all my time, though, so basically I have to convince friends to run games for me. As much as I love to escape into D&D, it's such a huge investment for what I'd like to do, and I just find it more rewarding to spend my time elsewhere. I think part of it comes down to being really inefficient at creating session material, and just being generally bad at time management.

Maybe when things settle down again, I'll have the chance to daydream up some new adventures for my friends to play. Maybe some writing while I'm at it. That reminds me, I still want to get back to designing a full campaign setting...