Roland's Merciful Modly Mash-up Random Banter Thread #221

[Tvtyrant]

I haven't had a blowout on solids yet.

......yet.

My nephew became a lot less cute when he started eating solids. That is a lie, he is still cute, just also kind of gross now :/

[LaZodiac]

Look chicken tenders with melted cheese, with ketchup-mayo mix on the side is legit.

[Peelee]

Doing my first solo sewing project. Learned about the glories of baste stitching. It's adding my butt right now..

[Algeh]

I've been wondering if I'd like ketchup if I made it from scratch and was able to control every aspect of it. What bothers me the most about ketchup... well, there's multiple things. The texture, the sweetness, the acidiy, the smell...

I made my own ketchup once. For me, it falls firmly in the "more trouble than it's worth" camp and I have not bothered to do so again, but I might feel differently about it if I owned a food mill rather than having to push all of the tomatoes through a sieve.

We had entirely too many tomatoes one summer, so I gave it a try. I used lots of red wine vinegar in it, and less sugar, which worked well in terms of me liking it better than regular ketchup. (I didn't worry about using a canning-safe recipe because I wanted to adjust the sweet and acid levels to taste - instead I froze it in lots of small-serving jars and didn't let any one jar sit in the fridge for more than a week.)

[FinnLassie]

Look chicken tenders with melted cheese, with ketchup-mayo mix on the side is legit.

I'm only allowing this atrocity because you're my friend.

[LaZodiac]

I'm only allowing this atrocity because you're my friend.

Just you wait. One day we'll hang out and I'll share our patent to make anyone but a Canadian vomit Ketchup Flavored Potato Chips.

[factotum]

There is only one mustard is is crap. Not my fault it's apparently the most commercialized and widely available one. Brown mustard is where the flavor is.

The only problem being, said flavour is that of mustard, which is absolutely 100% disgusting.

[Florian]

I've been wondering if I'd like ketchup if I made it from scratch and was able to control every aspect of it. What bothers me the most about ketchup... well, there's multiple things. The texture, the sweetness, the acidiy, the smell...

Tried it a couple of times, regular, as well as the local curry ketchup version. You lean your back into it and work with quality ingredients, the result is way, way (repeat that 10 - 20 times) above the regular mass market quality you can get.

Last summer, I had an overabundance of really tasty italian end french heritage tomatoes in the garden, a friend of mine like sampling quality red wines but never finishes a bottle, so she started converting the left-over to vinegar, I was experimenting with quality sugars for rum distillation, so we gave that a try. Was a blast, but you cannot go back to some Kraft or other commercial brand after that.

Look chicken tenders with melted cheese, with ketchup-mayo mix on the side is legit.

No... just... no.

The only problem being, said flavour is that of mustard, which is absolutely 100% disgusting.

Now learn a bit and rephrase it in such a way that it includes a "for me", else you're actually insulting everyone who likes that flavor.

[FinnLassie]

Just you wait. One day we'll hang out and I'll share our patent to make anyone but a Canadian vomit Ketchup Flavored Potato Chips.

That's the point when we need to re-evaluate our friendship.

[Florian]

That's the point when we need to re-evaluate our friendship.

That's the point when you realize that you thought that this abomination is your friend, just because acting cheerful and understanding. FIGHT IT WITH FIRE!

[factotum]

Now learn a bit and rephrase it in such a way that it includes a "for me", else you're actually insulting everyone who likes that flavor.

Um, what? Pretty much any proclamation about how food tastes comes with an unstated "As far as I'm concerned", and even if it didn't, I'm not sure how saying a particular taste is foul insults people who like it?

[Insane Jeenyus]

Ketchup - just plain noooooooooo!

I like most any mustuerd

Macaroni & Cheese W/ fresh garlic, extra cheddar and sluiced up kielbasa is da Bomb!

[LaZodiac]

That's the point when we need to re-evaluate our friendship.

I swear they're good.

Of course when it comes to food crimes I do actually do literal murders, by which I mean I lick my plate clean if there's sauce on it and have on occasiona drunk alfredo sauce to get that good good sauce taste once the bandera bread I ordered is finished. So maybe I'm just a culinary criminal.

[Peelee]

I now believe Canadians just put random stuff on whatever they're eating at the time as a national sport or something, and then pretend to like it so it doesn't seem wasteful. Which means y'all just got lucky with poutine.

[LaZodiac]

I now believe Canadians just put random stuff on whatever they're eating at the time as a national sport or something, and then pretend to like it so it doesn't seem wasteful. Which means y'all just got lucky with poutine.

Poutine is unique in that the intended effect of eating it is feeling like you've made a mistake.

I have never seen poutine in a size where it wouldn't be an absolute disaster to your very existence to eat it, and that's always 100% the point. It is the culinary equivilent of intentionally doing something wrong so the consequences of that wrongness hit you and THAT is what you wanted to feel. I've never eaten a poutine that didn't immediately make me regret my every life choice up to that point. I've also never eaten a poutine that I wouldn't eat again immediately if prompt, because holy **** does that taste good.

[SZbNAhL]

None of you are ever allowed to make jokes about British food ever again.

[Anonymouswizard]

None of you are ever allowed to make jokes about British food ever again.

I though a Full English was bad enough, what with being about 80% fat, but these people just don't seem to understand mustard, or the small amount of things ketchup can be added to (list provided at the end of this post). Americans can say what they like about this barbeque thing that apparently isn't the barbeque that involves a garden, some good quality meat, and inevitable rain, but the rest of their food seems to be terrible!

Anyway, I've got to cook pork chops or something tonight, and it's already making me hungry. Also I might have just broken a friend, is there a way to turn them off and on again?

1. Bacon Butties

[SZbNAhL]

Also I might have just broken a friend, is there a way to turn them off and on again?

Broken as in damaged your relationship with or broken as in brought into a catatonic state?

[Anonymouswizard]

Broken as in damaged your relationship with or broken as in brought into a catatonic state?

I don't think it's 'damaged relationship', especially compared to the crap she normally experiences from me, but she might have frozen up (or might just be busy at work).

[Peelee]

None of you are ever allowed to make jokes about British food ever again.

The worst thing is, all of these abominations still sound better than British food.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

None of you are ever allowed to make jokes about British food ever again.

I hag-guess I can try to avoid making jokes about british food...

[Peelee]

I hag-guess I can try to avoid making jokes about british food...

Are you pudding me on?

[Anonymouswizard]

The worst thing is, all of these abominations still sound better than British food.

Says somebody who has obviously never had a pie

[Florian]

The worst thing is, all of these abominations still sound better than British food.

Hm... Nope. no, not at all. Not even with a very deep-seated hatred and loathing towards the island monkeys would I call their foodstuff worse than that.

Poutine is unique in that the intended effect of eating it is feeling like you've made a mistake.

Not really. It´s just a slightly off variation of standard pub fare all over the old world. You want something like your bangers/shashlik/bratwurst with mashed potatoes, some veggies for the conscience and then drown it in gravy and caramelized onions before you get serious with the beer and/or vodka. substitute french fries and mussels if your from Belgium.

[Peelee]

Hm... Nope. no, not at all. Not even with a very deep-seated hatred and loathing towards the island monkeys would I call their foodstuff worse than that.

You clearly haven't had their pies.

[Florian]

You clearly haven't had their pies.

I´ve a shepherds pie in the fridge and recently had ox tail pie. Why?

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7814/46610107022_666fc79d15.jpg

[Peelee]

I´ve a shepherds pie in the fridge and recently had ox tail pie. Why?

You ever hear the joke about how many Germans it takes to screw in a light bulb?

[Anonymouswizard]

You ever hear the joke about how many Germans it takes to screw in a light bulb?

One, the Germans don't have a sense of humour!

Apologies to all the Germans on this forum, your national sense of humour is significantly better developed and more sophistocated than the American one.

[Peelee]

One, the Germans don't have a sense of humour!

You left out "and are very efficient."

[enderlord99]

I feel like this thread is turning into nothing but hostile identity-politics, but I've been wrong about that before.