Homebrew DesignRoll up your sleeves and get working: there's lots of homebrewin' to be done! Post your custom creation for critiques or review those of your peers.
Welcome to the Giant in the Playground Monster Competition chat thread where you can ask questions, comment, or just in general discuss about the submissions to our monthly monster mash.
After a long absense, I will be participating again. Working on my entry now.
EDIT: It's up. I probably screwed up a lot of the math though, I've been doing 4e stuff and I'm kind of out of practice for 3.5. I might post a picture later.
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GENERATION 18. The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. social experiment.
Futurelings:
A few formatting issues with linebreaks etc, but you probably already knew that and were going to fix it in the next revision.
Now normally I might have PMed you (a habit I have gotten out of, but MIGHT want to get back into), except that the major flaw I wanted to mention is one that I have seen often enough before that I think homebrewers in general should be made more aware of it. Steal Time, as written, might as well read "This creature gets a free standard or move action every round and <stuff about denying actions to other creatures>".
Why you ask?
Because rats, earthworms, and mosquittos exist.
Whenever something has a benefit (or in one case I saw, an impairment) to a creature for harming another creature, remember the SMALL stuff people!
In this case some solutions might include one or more of the following:
-A cap on how long the points may be retained.
-Limiting it to sapient creatures (even then it is going to capture rather than kill, tie the enemies up and whack them for subdual damage to its clock-work heart's content, including 1st level commoners who get on their bad side).
-Speaking of which: Lethal Damage Only? (only useful in combination with another solution)
-Goes to zero every time they time-hop.
-Cap on how many points may be stored at one time (scaling with HD?)
-Target/victem must be the same size or larger than the Futureling.
-As above but HD rather than size class.
Alright. The Grandfather has been posted, and it may set the record for lowest hp on a CR 20 creature. Or maybe not.
Anyway, critique away! I'll admit I'm a little unsure of the CR, but I think that the addition of A Stitch in Time along with Time Stands Still and Flight of Time may make the estimate about right.
The Watchdog is up. Please feel free to PEACH it. Comments and criticisms are welcome. This is my first time entering so I'd really like to hear what y'all have to say. Don't be afraid to tell me how much you hate it either.
Thanks Djinn. I loved that book too.
CR 20 for the Grandfather looks about right but challenge rating is more of an art than a science. My only complaint is that this seems like it should be a quasi-deity or at least an epic creature of CR 21. If he were a quasi-deity it would explain the 40 Wisdom a bit better. Having divine rank 0 is almost where you have put this --the only thing that you'd need to explain the low hit points, but that's easily accountable.
Debby
Last edited by Debihuman : 01-03-2009 at 04:53 PM.
The Grandfather:
Since the teleportation can't be stopped by Dimensional Anchor or Dimension Lock (because both have a non-instantaneous duration), and is through time, then he can just pop back the instant he gets killed, having refilled his Spin off of some rats or whatever. In fact the only way I can think of winning a fight is Stone to Flesh with perhaps subdual damage (which doesn't technically reduce hp if I remember correctly) to keep him down until you can prepare and cast that. I am seeing CR closer to 30 than 20 here...
Watchdog:
Craft Wondrous Item is a feat, not a skill. Use Craft(Metal Working) or maybe even Craft(Clockworks), or if using the Blackmoor setting (or stuff from it), Craft(Clock and Steam).
The concept of an INT 10 creature being referred to as being "bred" for a specific purpose strikes me as Evil... they weren't slaves in the book, and seemed perfectly capable of picking there own mates/spouses. Now, if you wanted to make them follow something like the tenants of Allurehn (the goddess whose portfolio basically includes a benign form of eugenics that my mepholk follow) that would fit perfectly well.
Edit:
If they were in my world (where large enough dragons regularly get limbs painlessly guillotined off and Regenerated to sell to armorers, weaponsmiths and etc) then the watch of a Watchdog who died (especially of natural causes) would often be sold off to a craftsman who had a decent chance of repairing it, since such an accurate timepiece being kept in circulation would be in keeping with the mission (or at least personality) of the Watchdogs, and thus would be seen as perfectly honorable toward the deceased.
Well, I don't actually know the rules for Divine Rank, so I think I'll leave it as it is for now.
DracoDei, your point is a valid one, so I added a clause to his Deathless ability.
That said, from a DM's viewpoint, the Grandfather isn't the sort who would use his powers on animals simply to gain Spin. He would not destroy something if it is not that creatures time to die. So that's a case of monster psychology overriding mechanical exploits.
That said, from a DM's viewpoint, the Grandfather isn't the sort who would use his powers on animals simply to gain Spin. He would not destroy something if it is not that creatures time to die. So that's a case of monster psychology overriding mechanical exploits.
I think you may need to expand the fluff to make that more obvious then.
EDIT: Either you fixed it, or I just missed it the first time...
Well, I just realized what idea of mine I would like to use for this... the problem is that it is two outsiders who fight as a team but are eternal rivals. One is never encountered without the other. Are "two sides of the same coin" type entries allowed? IE is it "One creature" or "One entry"? If I must, I will limit myself to just the last one I guess... but they really are supposed to go together.
In any case... here is my first draft of the opening fluff.
"I am the first to strike." "I am the last thing you will see before death claims you." "I am speed incarnate." "I am inevitability made flesh." "I was the wind that seared every bit of your flesh." "I will be the rock that will break your bone." "None shall out-race my blades." "None shall be unharmed by my blow." "I am The First Word." "I am The Final Word."
"WechallengeyoutohonorableCombat!"
(And yes, 2nd edition fans, The Final Word was inspired by the weapon ability of the same name and The First Word was created especially to be his foil.)
Watchdog:
Craft Wondrous Item is a feat, not a skill. Use Craft (Metal Working) or maybe even Craft (Clockworks), or if using the Blackmoor setting (or stuff from it), Craft (Clock and Steam).
Thanks a bunch. I meant to use a skill not a feat but have since decided that requiring the feat wasn't such a bad idea either.
Quote:
The concept of an INT 10 creature being referred to as being "bred" for a specific purpose strikes me as Evil... they weren't slaves in the book, and seemed perfectly capable of picking there own mates/spouses. Now, if you wanted to make them follow something like the tenants of Allurehn (the goddess whose portfolio basically includes a benign form of eugenics that my mepholk follow) that would fit perfectly well.
Well that's a humanistic point of view and since the book was written for children, it is hardly surprising this wasn't mentioned.
From the watchdog's point of view mating is void of any emotional attachment. They may be intelligent, but they have a completely different mindset from humans. Watchdogs do not pairbond. The males abandon the females after soon after mating and leave the puppies to be raised solely by the females. Once the puppies are weaned in 6 to 8 weeks, they are fostered out to complete their training. After reaching adulthood in 10-12 months, a watchdog is assigned to his or her post.
Perhaps I need to add a bit more history to make this more palatable.
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If they were in my world (where large enough dragons regularly get limbs painlessly guillotined off and Regenerated to sell to armorers, weaponsmiths and etc) then the watch of a Watchdog who died (especially of natural causes) would often be sold off to a craftsman who had a decent chance of repairing it, since such an accurate timepiece being kept in circulation would be in keeping with the mission (or at least personality) of the Watchdogs, and thus would be seen as perfectly honorable toward the deceased.
That's not a bad idea actually. I would see no problem with it.
Actually it looks like we are on the same page... while I PREFER monogamy and parental involvement, I understand that neither is required for Good alignment in D&D and wasn't referring to such matters at all... I was just talking about someone else forcefully picking their mates for them, which seems not to be the case.
Well, I just realized what idea of mine I would like to use for this... the problem is that it is two outsiders who fight as a team but are eternal rivals. One is never encountered without the other. Are "two sides of the same coin" type entries allowed? IE is it "One creature" or "One entry"? If I must, I will limit myself to just the last one I guess... but they really are supposed to go together.
Dracodei, why not make this two creatures trapped in one body with each one controlling one side? On the other hand, Batman's nemisis Two-Face springs to mind. The opening fluff is quite nice.
Debby
Last edited by Debihuman : 01-04-2009 at 12:47 PM.
I would have to give it 4 arms (The First Word pretty much has to dual-wield and The Final Word really works better with a 2 handed sword than a longsword) and a split personality that acts on three different initiatives (The First Word gets a full round at +20 initiative modifier, then another at +10 initiative modifier and The Final Word gets its with a -20 initiative modifier)... doable in theory, but it works much better with 2 bodies rather than 1. I think I would rather only enter The Final Word than do that. (Or i could do The Gray Men from "Momo" by the same person who wrote "The Never-Ending Story"...)
Basically the part about "Never encountered except as a pair" is my major argument for it being allowed... I mean if I wanted to create a unique creature with a unique mount, that would sound reasonable so...
Regarding Opening Fluff: Thank you, glad you liked it.
I was thinking more along the lines that if they have to dual wield their weapons then they have to work together (at least some of the time) and it makes walking and riding interesting if they can't agree on what they are doing. Maybe only one side is dominant at a time.
Or you could have them share a body back-to-back --giving them 4 arms and 4 legs and 2 heads but only one torso. I don't recall that being done.
Conjoined twins perhaps?
Debby
Last edited by Debihuman : 01-04-2009 at 06:52 PM.
Closest thing I ever saw to that:
I think it was in "Monsterous Geographica: Forest" (or around here if not) that I read of a creature that was a swam conjoined back to back with a vulture, one was always asleep when the other was awake, the swan good, the vulture evil. The vulture could make a skill check to fly upside-down to make people looking up from below think it was the swan mode. Started from human twins who got transformed and magicked together (in a single spell/ritual). Then later their wives got involved in the situation and had the same thing happen to them, and thus a new race was born.
And I still think having it act on 3 different initiatives and so forth doesn't work so hot... having a mode change MIGHT... but still not quite as good.
I'm working on my entry at the moment, and I must say, there's some pretty awesome stuff up so far. It's gonna be hard to compete with the likes of Tock(!) or Father Time himself.
Ahhh....nothing like finishing a monster at 3:00am after several hours of hard work
I still have some issues about balance, the inability to wear armor could be a huge penalty, however it doesn't hinder spellcasters. Their daily spells could be a little wonky, but they can't use them often, so I figure it's not a gigantic issue. What I need is some PEACHing and more options for player characters. Oh, and first playable monster in the competition
Kudos to whoever can guess what my 2 main inspirations were....
Last edited by Lappy9000 : 01-06-2009 at 03:06 AM.
I just noticed that I messed up the Lore section by not looking at how Knowledge checks are done and most of the entries seem to be off on this.
From the SRD:
Quote:
In general, the DC of such a check equals 10 + the monster’s HD. A successful check allows you to remember a bit of useful information about that monster.
For every 5 points by which your check result exceeds the DC, you recall another piece of useful information.
Lappy -- How does the Sentient Plant subtype differ from the Augmented subtype? I don't mind new subtypes, but this seems rather unneccessary.
Why is the sample creature a warrior? It isn't even it's favored class. If you change it to Bard that would make a lot more sense.
Born to Blossom pretty much negates the restriction to wearing armor. Furthermore, the restriction seem pretty arbitrary to me. You don't say why the restriction is in place other than their anatomy, but their anatomy is humanoid! That is contradictory. If it interfered with the diatocks' special abilities that would make sense.
Is the blur effect a constant effect? That's a neat idea but again, even without being able to wear armor this seems a bit powerful.
You should have probably used the Elite Array before making adjustments. [From the SRD: The elite array is: 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. While the monster has one weakness compared to a typical member of its race, it is significantly better overall. The elite array is most appropriate for monsters who add levels in a player character class.]
Debby
Last edited by Debihuman : 01-06-2009 at 12:35 PM.
Lappy -- How does the Sentient Plant subtype differ from the Augmented subtype? I don't mind new subtypes, but this seems rather unneccessary.
I think it may have been to underline the differences in their immunities and vulnerabilities.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debihuman
Why is the sample creature a warrior? It isn't even it's favored class. If you change it to Bard that would make a lot more sense.
Monster Manual tradition... warriors are much more basic (technically outnumbering fighters in any given population) and out of the box while still being useable as an encounter. If that last thing weren't a requirement then they should be commoners.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debihuman
You should have probably used the Elite Array before making adjustments. [From the SRD: The elite array is: 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. While the monster has one weakness compared to a typical member of its race, it is significantly better overall. The elite array is most appropriate for monsters who add levels in a player character class.]
Which it doesn't have... it has a level in WARRIOR not fighter.
I just noticed that I messed up the Lore section by not looking at how Knowledge checks are done and most of the entries seem to be off on this.
.....I didn't even know they had a rule for that. Fixing!
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Lappy -- How does the Sentient Plant subtype differ from the Augmented subtype? I don't mind new subtypes, but this seems rather unneccessary.
The Augmented Subtype is usually a monster who has changed type. Diatocks haven't changed into humanoids while retaining plant traits, they're plants who echo humanoid feelings.
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Why is the sample creature a warrior? It isn't even it's favored class. If you change it to Bard that would make a lot more sense.
I don't think it's a set rule, but I figuted it was standard since I've never seen a monster with a +0 LA in any Monster Manual that uses any class other than warrior in the monster entry.
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Born to Blossom pretty much negates the restriction to wearing armor.
Is the blur effect a constant effect? That's a neat idea but again, even without being able to wear armor this seems a bit powerful.
A 20% miss chance isn't really that awesome. Sure, a 1st-level Diatock bard can still score a 17 AC if she puts an 18 into Dexterity and uses a heavy shield, but when she rolls snake eyes on the duration for her born to blossom ability and the 4 in 5 chance of being hit fails her when fighting some BBEG, she's going to wish she had a good ol' fashioned chain shirt.
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Furthermore, the restriction seem pretty arbitrary to me. You don't say why the restriction is in place other than their anatomy, but their anatomy is humanoid! That is contradictory. If it interfered with the diatocks' special abilities that would make sense.
Humanoid-shaped plants still can't wear armor, which is the excuse Wizards tends to use, so I just went with that. I'll clarify things a bit more, though.
Quote:
You should have probably used the Elite Array before making adjustments. [From the SRD: The elite array is: 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. While the monster has one weakness compared to a typical member of its race, it is significantly better overall. The elite array is most appropriate for monsters who add levels in a player character class.]
Monster entry creatures are meant to be NPCs so nonelite array looks like the way to go. Like the warrior thing, I don't recall seeing any PC monster with elite array scores (unless they're actually being played by a PC).
Thanks for the PEACH!
EDIT: Geez, way to Ninja me, DracoDei. I didn't know you were a dragon and a ninja
I eagerly await your entry. You always aim to impress!
Double Edit: Before anyone asks about why crystalline creatures are defined as a plant creature, diatocks are based partly off diatoms, microscopic crystal-like protists (I know they're not plants, but it seemed close enought by D&D standards)
I'll prolly be setting this month out. I'm designing 3 Epic PrC's as xmas presents for some people I know. I've been "designing" them for weeks and weeks now. And in an effort to finally finish the darn things I'll need to hold off till next month.
I think it may have been to underline the differences in their immunities and vulnerabilities.
Monster Manual tradition... warriors are much more basic (technically outnumbering fighters in any given population) and out of the box while still being useable as an encounter. If that last thing weren't a requirement then they should be commoners.
Which it doesn't have... it has a level in WARRIOR not fighter.
My bad. I wasn't thinking of how the Monster Manual presents creatures. It is correctly as an 1st level NPC warrior.
Lappy,
Also, you had this under Diatocks as Characters: ""Traits: A soulstitched possesses the following traits:...." Don't you mean "diatock" not "soulstitched"?
BTW, it is missing 8 skill points. The modifier for Int is always a minimum of 1 so even creatures with penalties to Int still get skill points to spend. Plants get 2 times Int modifier (minimum 1) with quadruple for their first HD.
Debby
Last edited by Debihuman : 01-07-2009 at 08:50 PM.
Well Bhu they are both up now, albeit in very rough forms... if VT or the majority of other contestants think it in the spirit of the contest I will withdraw the "The First Word" portion of the entry from the contest, placing both Words into a separate thread for people to use, and leaving The Final Word here as the entry.
What do people think I should do with the Deflection bonuses? They don't use their Charisma for much else, so I can vary them to whatever I like or even drop them entirely from on or the other of them...
Hmmm, I've got a good idea for a main ability of a creature, but can't think of much else for it. Mainly it is the ability to split its time line allowing it to take two turns (or sets of turns) from a starting point after which both merge back together (at one of the locations) with all effects done to both combine (ie. if one takes 10 dmg and the other takes 15 then when the effect ends it will have 25 damage). Does this seem like it would be better for something more monstrous, or something more humanoid (can use equipment etc.)?
Owrtho
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GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread II
Re: GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread II
