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Thread: Misheard spells
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2009-05-31, 08:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- In a castle under the sea
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Misheard spells
Due to some response here, and this thread, I've decided to see what similar spells you can come up with!
Try to keep it as close to the misspelled spell as possible.
(Also: Mis-spelled is a new descriptor for spells like Cone of Kobolds and Cone of Corpses.)
Flyerball
Transmution (Mis-spelled)
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S
Casting time: 1 round
Range: Medium (100 ft +10 ft/level)
Area: 20-ft sphere
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving throw: Rexlex negates (harmless)
SR: Yes (harmless)
Everyone in the area is covered with reddish feathers and can fly as if they had fly cast on them.
Material component: A feather, covered with bat guano and sulpher.
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2009-05-31, 10:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Location
- St. Louis Park, MN, US
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Re: Misheard spells
This was a Freudian Slip from a father-to-be during a recent discussion of reduce person:
Produce Person
Conjuration (creation, mis-spelled)
Level: Clr 9, Sor/Wis 9
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 hour
Range: 5 ft.
Effect: One created person
Duration: Instantaneous
This spell creates one humanoid. You may choose the humanoid's race, gender, height, weight, hair color, eye color, and other physical attributes. If you have a reference, such as a painting or a willing subject, the humanoid can even be a physical duplicate of another person.
When initially created, the humanoid cannot speak and has limited knowledge of the world around it. For a period of 1 day per 2 caster levels after the casting of this spell, the humanoid is obedient and learns very rapidly. At the end of the first day, the person is a fully-capable first-level NPC, trained in whatever arts have been taught to it. Each subsequent day of training adds an additional level to the person. If no training is provided, the person advances as a commoner. If so desired, the original caster of this spell can end this learning period at any point after the first day.
Once the initial training period is over, the person becomes fully independent of the caster. At this point the person feels no compunction to obey the caster (or anyone else), though it is friendly to the caster. The caster (or others) may make Diplomacy checks to influence it as normal for an NPC.
Material Component: An egg.
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2009-05-31, 10:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- on the computer
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Re: Misheard spells
And, of course, there's most of the incentive comics.
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2009-06-01, 05:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- In a castle under the sea
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
Care to stat any out?
Meatier swarm
Conjuration (Creation) (Mis-spelled)
Level: Sor/Wiz 8
This spell works as meteor swarm, but deals bludgeoning damage. The meat created lasts permanently and turns the area into difficult terrain. When gathered, the meat can feed 100 Medium creatures (carnivores/omnivores only) for 1 day.
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2009-06-01, 06:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
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Re: Misheard spells
Here's the alternate of Protection from Energy:
Protection from An Orgy
Abjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: 10 min./level or until discharged
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
During the duration of the spell the subject's genitalia vanishes and becomes smooth skin like a ken doll.
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2009-06-01, 06:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
Re: Misheard spells
Original Spell: Eyebite
I Bite
Transmutation [Misspelled]
Level: Brd 4, Sor/Wis 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature Touched
Effect: One created person
Duration: 1 round / level
This spell causes the targeted creature's palms to morph into giant, gaping maws lined with razor sharp teeth. The creature gains a Bite attack that deals 1d6 damage for each hand the creature has.
If the targeted creature has no hands, the creaturegets eatengrows a second mouth right where its neck is. The creature suffers no disabilities (besides extreme freakishness) from this effect, and gains a Bite attack that deals 1d6 damage. (Note that some creatures, like a horse, will not be able to use this Bite attack).
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2009-06-02, 05:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
ANTI-WIFE SHELL
Somthing no married man should be without.
ENDURE ELEPHANTS
For those dangerous treks convently underneath all those elephants.
MAKE HOLE
Requires a special material component, some T.N.T
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2009-06-02, 06:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Malsheem, Nessus
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Re: Misheard spells
Misspell Magic
A successful caster level check (1d20 + caster level, maximum +10) replaces the target's next spell with the one in this thread that its name most resembles.
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2009-06-02, 07:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
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- Sector ZZ9 Pural Z alpha
- Gender
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2009-06-02, 08:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- In a castle under the sea
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Re: Misheard spells
Misspel magic is awesome...
I came up with a zillion other ideas. I want YOU to make several of them! I'll help, too. Maybe we'll make a Mis-spelled domain? Or a Misspeller class?
Protection from Lay-offs
Mall of Fire
Hall of Thorns
Tragic Missile
Blade Blast Fireball
Acid Smash
of Frost
Explosive Rooms
Messier Planar Ally
Scrambler
Disguise Help
Mold Monster
Cold Person
Burning Sands
Feather Wall
Hear
Flame Spike
Mice Storm
Stinger of Death
Find the Wrath
Fat's Grace
Flesh to Scone
Fivesight
Cliff of Warding
Waste
Paste
Holy Light
Holy Lord
Invisibility Merge
Iron Potty
Mean Edge
Walk
Leomund's Tiny Mutt
Swish
Cage Armor
Page Hand
Rage Armor
Sage Hand
Wage Hand
Magic Bar
Tragic Missile
Snake Whole
Bark of Justice
Self's Acid Arrow
Bending
Mind Frog
Purify Memory
Borsenkainen's Bagnificent Banishing
Fordenkainen's Fagnificent Fasion
Lordenkainen's Lagnificent Lashings
Nystul's Magic Door-a
Obscuring Hisses
Order's Math
Overland White
Pass Mall
Permanent "C"
Grain Shift
Polymorph Any Subject
Produce Name
Mayor
Protect Image
Protection from Wells
Protection from Sparrows
Prying Flies
Stench
Mage
Raise Shed
Feed Magic
Degenerate
Remove Furs
Remove Deer
Reverse Manatee
Rope Stick
Rusting Gasp
Crying
Lending
Repia Rake Rigil
Fepia Fake Figil
Lepia Lake Ligil
Shepia Shape Shigil
Soul Find
Gout
Snow
Solid Frog
Frog Cloud
Strike Stones
Stone Smell
Funbeam
Stunburst
Trap the Bowl
Benser's Banishation
Thyme Stop
Dew Ressurection
Wall of the Banshee
Wall of Ironing
Water Talk
Saves of Exhaustion
Feared
Phone of Truth
Wind Fall
Frightening Bolt
Fasilful Polymorph
Animate Fred
Animal Dance
Bigby's Crushing Sand
Bigby's Shushing Hand
Finding
Spade Barrier
Color Spay
Cone of Scold
Continual Shame
Creeping Dorm
Control Feather
Detect Weevil
Detect Some Dead
Evard's Snack Tentacles
Flame Sparrow
Threebidance
Fool Touch
Heal Metal
...and any others you come up with!
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2009-06-02, 08:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
Re: Misheard spells
Detect Weevil
Gleaner 0
Adept 1
An invaluable spell that allows gleaners and other rural, casters to determine the number of weevils in the grain they depend upon for food
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2009-06-02, 08:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- Switzerland
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
I'll make a few of these.
Leomund's Tiny Mutt
Wizard 5
Conjuration (Creation)
This spell creates a puppy of tiny size. The creature appears in an extradimensional space, and can only be found by following the leash that appears in the caster's hand. Upon finding it, it can be dragged into normal space.
The puppy has the stats of a dog, but is of tiny size, has it's strenght reduced to 3 and it's speed reduced to 5 feet. Also, it is naturally blind.
Find the Wrath
Wizard 3, Cleric 2
Diviniation
Duration: Concentration
This helpful spell shows the caster the direction and distance to the closest divine caster casting any spell with the word "wrath" in it's name, or the closest creature using rage or a similar ability, if no such caster is within 10 miles.
Mold Monster
Transmutation
Wizard 8
This spell works like Polymorph any object, but only works on living or undead creatures. Additionaly, it deals 5d6 points of fire damage and 5d6 points of force damage to the target. A creature killed by this spell melts into a puddle of goo.Last edited by Eldan; 2009-06-02 at 08:36 PM.
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2009-06-02, 09:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2005
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Re: Misheard spells
Cry
This spel causes you to weep and sob profusely. As the tears roll down your face you can catch blurry glimpses of whoever or whatever makes you sad, wherever they are on the same plane.
Goes Sound
This spell allows you to create any soft noise, however the illusion quickly moves away from you in a direction of your choice at speed of 20ft a round.
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2009-06-02, 10:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
Re: Misheard spells
Leomund's Tiny Mutt is awesome. As is Continual Shame. (Continual Blame might be a good one for a Bard, to make someone else take the blame for his misdeeds.)
I can't imagine what Reverse Manatee would do, but it's amazingly cool.
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2009-06-02, 10:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
Fryball
Conjuration [Misspelled]
Level: Wizard/Sorcerer 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 40 ft 10ft area
Target: Creature Touched
Effect: One created person
Save: Reflex Special (See text)
Duration: 1 round / level (max 10 rounds)
Focus: One Frying Pan.
You conjure a ball of vegetable or animal oil that's boiling hot. You then make a ranged touch attack against one creature of your choice. That creature takes 1d6/level fire damage (max 10d6), and must make a reflex save or fall prone. Additionaly, all creatures on the radius take half damage, and must make the reflex save. For 1 round/CL the affected area is slippery and is affected as per a Grease spell.
This spell can also deep fry any animal/vegetable matter of your choice instantly, and the food bestows 1 point of magic healing.
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2009-06-02, 11:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Location
- St. Louis
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
I was thinking about starting a thread like this when I misread Dessicating Sphere as Defeccating (sp?) Sphere
Defeccating Sphere
Sor/Wiz 2, Druid 2
Duration: Concentration
This spell creates a large ball of animal matter. Each round, the ball can make a jet of poop shoot out at a target within 10 feet. Attack bonus is equal to your caster level, and it is a touch attack. If it hits, the target must make a Fortitude save DC or be nauseated for 1 round.
Oh, and...
Tragic Missile
Sor/Wiz 1
This spell causes your foe to cry for 1d4 turns giving him a 20% miss chance when attacking.
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2009-06-03, 02:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
Re: Misheard spells
Day of Frost - this spell causes the next 24 hour period to have an average temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit.
Couch of Fatigue - this spell only affects on sitting or reclining target, causing them be unable to get up if they fall a Will save. Material Component - a strange wand with many multi-colored buttons. When fiddled with, the affected target sees distracting minor images that take away their will to get up off of the couch of fatigue.
Rending - the opposite of Mending. This spell is something used to remove clothing quickly.
Massage - an Orc masseuse (technically masseur, since it's a boy Orc) appears and flings the target facedown on the ground, beginning a 30 minute massage routine that ends with the Orc walking on their back. There is no happy ending.
Sage Armor - the targets armor is temporarily transformed into a scholar's outfit. This could be useful, for someone who isn't expected to be greeting the King clad in platemail. This could be terrible, for someone who is in the middle of a fight...
Protection from Food - the target gets DR 25 vs. all items of food and drink. Unfortunately, the target can't eat or drink anything either, without shoving it into his mouth forcefully enough to do 25 pts of damage to himself. It lasts 1 day.
Burning Wands - all magical wands within 30 ft. immediately burst into flames, which does not destroy the wands (although each loses 1 charge from the depletion of magical energy), but does inflict 1d6 fire damage to anyone holding them at the time.
Floating **** - this spell creates a small floating Englishman with a pipe, greatcloak and floppy hat, who has a +10 modifier to Search, Gather Information and Sense Motive checks.
Shocking Grass - the 'companion spell' to Entangle, this causes native vegetation within a 10 ft. radius circle within Close range to become electrified, inflicting 1d6 Electrical damage per round to all within the area of effect for 1 round / level.
Dolor Spray - anyone struck by this bleak monochromatic cone of ennui-inducing energy must make a Will save or stop caring about anything and being unresponsive to any stimuli for 1d6 rounds. Material component is black guyliner and a clove cigarette.
Disguise Elf - this spell can make any elf look like any non-elven humanoid of the same size. General features will not change, so that someone very familiar with the target may still recognize them. The subject gets a +10 bonus to Disguise checks where not being an elf would be a factor.
Heather Fall - the falling subject turns into a petite blonde cheerleader named Heather, who automatically succeeds her Acrobatics check to reduce falling damage by 10 ft. from any fall. She has 6 hit points, and dies with a shriek upon reaching 0 hit points, transforming back into the original subject, who takes any falling damage over 6 hit points. If she survives, she still reverts back to the subject, who can take a normal action on their turn, as if they had not fallen at all.
Engorge Person - the affected target gains all the penalties of the next larger Size, but gains no bonus to Strength or extended Reach. The target suffers a -2 penalty to Dexterity, a -10 ft. penalty to movement speed (minimum 5 ft.) and all Armor Check Penalties are doubled, as his clothing no longer fits.
Rue Strike - the next person who strikes the caster really, really regrets it, and spends their next round's action apologizing profusely (able only to make a single 5 ft. step and take the Total Defense action) unless they make a Will save. Whether they save or not, they suffer a -2 to attack and damage rolls against the caster for the next minute, as they feel really, really bad about attacking the caster.
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2009-06-03, 02:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
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- In a castle under the sea
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2009-06-03, 02:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Near Atlanta,GA USA
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Re: Misheard spells
Couch of Fatigue and Dolor Spray would be good for my Beige Dragons. If you turn them into complete spell descriptions then I will add them to the list and link them.
Last edited by DracoDei; 2009-06-06 at 12:36 PM.
[Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
Currently Running: Equestria Begins (A High Tactics campaign)
Extended Signature
My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.
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2009-06-03, 10:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Brazil
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Re: Misheard spells
Fireballs.
Works like Fireball, but male characters make no save to halve the damage.
They do a save to put off their pants.
A Restore or Heal spell can recover their abilities to have descendents.
Member of the Hinjo fan club. Go Hinjo!
"In Soviet Russia, the Darkness attacks you."
"Rogues not only have a lot more skill points, but sneak attack is so good it hurts..."
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2009-06-06, 12:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
Never done a home brew, but I have a misheard spell "Dorkvision"
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2009-06-06, 12:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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- PST (GMT -8)
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Re: Misheard spells
Beware the Gooberry...
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2009-06-08, 06:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- In a castle under the sea
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Re: Misheard spells
PLEASEpleasepleasepleasePLEASE!!! someone do of frost. Or scorching ...or polar ...or something!
Also opening up the floor for misspelled monsters!
The misspelled subtype
This subtype includes all creatures with a misspelled spell as a spell-like ability. It also includes other monsters (Misplacer Beast, Fire Bear, Fire Wellimental, etc).
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2009-06-08, 07:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
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Re: Misheard spells
Polar Roy
Evocation [Cold, Misheard]
Level: Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Falling frozen humanoid
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
A dark-skinned single-class fighter frozen in a block of ice falls from the sky, dealing 1d6 damage per caster level. Half of this damage is cold damage, half of it is bludgeoning damage. Upon striking the target, the ice shatters, dealing 3d6 piercing damage to the target, and freeing the Fighter from his imprisonment. Upon being released, he verbally abuses someone named 'Elan' and then vanishes.
Arcane Focus: A print copy of any Order of the Stick book or strip.Last edited by RelentlessImp; 2009-06-08 at 07:31 PM.
Now if you don't mind, I am somewhat preoccupied telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down.
I cast irresistable phantasmal killer as a 4th level spell. No save, just die.
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2009-06-08, 11:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Malsheem, Nessus
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
What a freakish coincidence.
In the last campaign I ran, one of the bad guys killed one of the players (a dwarf fighter/monk) with cold damage, dropping him into -60 territory. Because it fit with the NPC's "cold + transformation" theme, I ruled that the player's corpse was frozen in a block of ice. The half-dragon paladin hopped on top, flew just high enough to lift it off the ground, and ordered the party wizard to dimension door them above the enemy.
The block came crashing down, smushed the enemies, and took just enough damage to crack open, releasing the corpse, which was promptly revivified by the party cleric. He started cursing out his party-mates for manhandling (dwarf-handling?) him and stomped off to skulk.
How do you read minds over the internet!?
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2009-06-09, 07:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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2009-06-10, 03:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- Switzerland
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
Roy Deflection? Twin Roy? Split Roy?
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2009-06-10, 03:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
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Re: Misheard spells
Refuse
Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Clr 7, Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Object touched
Duration: Permanent until discharged
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You create powerful garbage. This strongly nauseating object contains the power of offensive stench and vile odor and may be instantly transported across any distance within the same plane to another's abode; it can be used both as a warning and a practical joke, it's versatile like that.
The garbage may be given willingly to a creature along with the command word or words used to activate its power. To make use of the object, the subject speaks the special phrase. When this is done, the individual and all items it is wearing along with the party (if the case may be) are instantly dumped by a torrent of a barrage of steaming revolting garbage
This torrent may be made permanent with the permanency spell.
Material Component
One bottle of garbage juice.
Power Word Krill
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Death, Mind-Affecting]
Level: Sor/Wiz 9, War 9
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One living creature with 100 hp or less
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
You utter a single word of power that instantly fills one creature of your choice with krill causing that creature to burst from the excess seafood; whether the creature can hear the word or not is irrelevant.
Additionally, you may wish to forego that utterance and cause a targeted creature of your choice to experience a deep longing insatiable appetite for tiny crustaceans. The creature so targeted must eat until bursting or until she experiences a severe allergic reaction going into anaphylaxis whichever comes first.
Material Component
A single krillTo see the world in a grain of sand
and Heaven in a wild flower
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour.
- William Blake, Auguries of Innocence
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2009-06-10, 04:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Near Atlanta,GA USA
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
Powerword Krill should only be mind-effecting or a compulsion when the spell is used in the second mode.
[Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
Currently Running: Equestria Begins (A High Tactics campaign)
Extended Signature
My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.
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2009-06-10, 04:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
- Gender
Re: Misheard spells
It's a literal bursting coupled with or going into anaphylactic shock (causing death) brought about by a severe allergic reaction.
To see the world in a grain of sand
and Heaven in a wild flower
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour.
- William Blake, Auguries of Innocence