Originally Posted by
Roland St. Jude
Thread necromancy makes baby thog cry.
Originally Posted by
lindorm
Are you talking religion or the Matrix?
Originally Posted by
Zeta Kai
There once was a kobold named Pun-Pun,
Who thought that godhood would be fun-fun,
So he found a Sarrukh,
Whose powers he took,
And he told his DM, "I won-won!"
Originally Posted by
Rutskarn
If you have a diminutive stature, speak in a high register, and participate in an elaborate guild-based structure, you might be a munchkin.
Originally Posted by
JT Jag
]
Originally Posted by
Herald Alberich
Conception allows a reflex save? What happens if you don't have Evasion, but make your save for half damage?
Fraternal twins.
Originally Posted by
Danin
DM - "Congratulations, you succeeded in collapsing the mountain on it, the arcane energies tearing the entire area asunder"
Players - "Woo hoo! We did it guys! We kick a-"
DM - "I never said it was dead"
Originally Posted by
sonofzeal
Red Dragon: "*casts Disguise Self* Why yes, I am a Silver Dragon! What would you like?"
Originally Posted by
Stormthorn
"You wake up in the tomb of horrors. Make a Fort save."
Originally Posted by
Agrippa
Voldemort, even as one of his world's most powerful and fearsome dark wizards, has a hard time hitting the broad side of a barn.
Originally Posted by
Optimystik
But then they don't have a will save
Originally Posted by
Storm Bringer
'If I hadn't been born a dwarf,' said The Dwarf, 'I would have been ashamed of myself.'
Originally Posted by
FlyingWhale
In that case... Lemme put the mind on the burner and AAHHH FIREEEEEE
Originally Posted by
Solaris
... Yes, but there aren't any reptiles, mammals, or dinosaurs with six limbs or a breath weapon.
Originally Posted by
Ponce_LeRue
I think V creating a spell specially designed to grab and hold Belkar for extended periods of time is completely plausible by this point.
Originally Posted by
Discord
the only reason he knew it existed was because he was once invited to a mage's symposium where a gnome wizard had tried to mix technology and magic together to mount a lamp, which ended with a Chain Lightning wounding and stunning everyone in the room, himself included.
Good times, good times.
Originally Posted by
Xefas
I mean, it's hard to classify a mechanic as "overpowered" if Team Rocket can beat it.
Originally Posted by
Swooper
Damn rouges, so overpowdered
Originally Posted by
hachface
I do not want to make rulings on the core system. That just gets in the way of making the interesting decisions.
Originally Posted by
Sermil
"THAT'S how I use my Charisma score in combat, DUMBASS!!"
Originally Posted by
Liliet
And this is how Crystal learned her Aesop that there are more important things in life than killing. Not being in constant excruciating pain, for example.
Originally Posted by
Bulldog Psion
The only thing V wants a partner to be in the bedroom is "quiet, so I can finish reading this ancient tome on spells before I trance."
Originally Posted by
ahdok
Hey... HEY! I found the monster's secret weakness! Turns out it's weak to being killed!
Originally Posted by
Jay R
It's not even the first time Haley killed this person she knew really well.
Originally Posted by
Gift Jeraff
All speech besides caveman grunts are colloquial phrases the world could do without.
Originally Posted by
zyxophoj
Smash a wizard's spell component puch [sic], and he turns into a commoner in a dress.
Smash a cleric's holy symbol, and he turns into an expert without the skillpoints.
Smash a druid's divine focus, and he turns into a dire triceratops and stomps on you.
Originally Posted by
Smolder
Ok, Giant, we know you're a talented story-teller. Now you're just show-boating.
Originally Posted by
Jasdoif
Oh good, do you know how hard it is to get all eleven pipers to be quiet? I've yet to see an entire set that can tell the difference between a request for a silent night and a request for Silent Night.
Originally Posted by
The gF
Originally Posted by
Coat
A wise woman once said "There wouldn't need to be paladins if the world was like, fair!"
Maybe the world needs more Paladins.
I dunno, the ones we have aren't helping. :V Maybe the world just needs BETTER paladins.
Originally Posted by
Coat
Part of being Good - and especially of being a Paladin - is opposing Evil. If someone lights up Evil on your Morality Radar, you kind of ought to do something about that.
Opposing Evil does not need to mean punching it in the face. Opposing Evil can mean playing Go with it. It can mean establishing trade relations and introducing, delicately, over time, the idea of things like the rule of law. Some days, it can mean be treating someone with courtesy and respect, even though they're angry and resentful: because not being treated with courtesy and respect is a good way to make someone angry and resentful.
O-Chul is totally my hero, because just like Miko, he opposes Evil everywhere he sees it, and because exactly unlike Miko, force is his weapon of last resort in doing so, not the first thing that comes to hand.
Originally Posted by
Douche
I think many parties could benefit from selling their souls to an eldritch abomination, and I don't appreciate you trying to discourage that.
Originally Posted by
War-Wren
Ha! I was just about to say that myself
Looks like art may have triumphed in the comic section, but in the forums, science is King!!
Originally Posted by
Ridureyu
How To Play A Rogue:
1. Spend 90% of the game doing 1d6+piffle damage.
2. Attempt to set up flanks, only for other melee party members to go, "cool, you got this" and walk out of melee.
3. Gain limited-use invisibility. Use it, do a bajillion in sneak-attack damage to one lowly minion.
4. Get in troble as other players accuse you of being overpowered, and threaten to quit.
5. Go back to doing 1d6+piffle damage.
Originally Posted by
Kid Jake
Working for the government gives you super powers?
(The above may be taken out of context)
Originally Posted by
DaggerPen
Roy is never going to live his death down, huh?
Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
You have now convinced me to play an Aboleth bard who sings about how things are better under the sea as it uses its slime to force people to stay underwater.
Originally Posted by
Rakaydos
We're getting ahead of ourselves. Lets colonise mars before we start making generation ships to other stars.
Originally Posted by
Shining Wrath
Then there's
Rogue Waves, which do extra damage due to Sneak Attack.
Originally Posted by
dtilque
Originally Posted by
Sniccups
So, confirmation that this is Thrym.
Yes, that eliminates Parsley, Sage and Rosemary, who were the other suspects.
Originally Posted by
Jasdoif
Well, it goes off when the author gets around to it....So probably tuit rounds.
Originally Posted by
ExLibrisMortis
It gets worse. The template doesn't actually mention taking the creature's charisma score; you have to apply the rule on page 312 of the Monster Manual to figure that out. If you don't, you have a creature with self-awareness, but no ability to perceive anything. It's like taking Plato's cave and boarding up the entrance.
Originally Posted by
Flickerdart
It's like the opposite of the Heart of Gold's Infinite Improbability Drive. Imagine being a peasant working your field, and for the next 2 hours a party of schmucks appear and disappear every few minutes, leaving their +1 footprints all over your freshly ploughed soil.
Originally Posted by
TheNecrocomicon
Yeah, when someone makes Belkar look like a paragon of diplomacy, they are doing something profoundly wrong.
Originally Posted by
Forikroder
i feel bad for your coworkers having to deal with 3 frost giant assaults
Originally Posted by
Kish
(If I was new to this forum, I would think having Andi say "You stubborn little brat, why won't you ever just do what I tell you to do?!?" was selling Andi being thoroughly in the wrong here way too hard. As it is, I'm surprised the arguments that Andi is in the right took as long to show up as they did.)
Originally Posted by
Peelee
Today I learned that on any ship, if a single crewmember does not believe the captain is qualified, then the captain is unqualified.
Brb, joining the Navy. My rise in the ranks shall be meteoric!
Originally Posted by
Quibbilcious
When I get old, I want to live in a home where I can take it over by conquest.
Originally Posted by
Xyril
If Scotty spendt five minutes on a whiny, passive-aggressive rant questioning why the hell Starfleet put Kirk in charge of a star ship, no reasonable captain would spend another five minutes listening on the off chance there's some critical information coming later.
Originally Posted by
Sybarith
You commit one little act of genocide and the party leader never lets you live it down.
Originally Posted by
Flickerdart
It's better than canonical, it's funny.
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
I came here to talk about a web comic, but it turned into a discussion about the Roman Empire.
The internet is a strange place.
Originally Posted by
Quibblicious
As one player discovered, it's not wise to correct the grammar of a dragon.
Originally Posted by
Quibblicious
Originally Posted by
Hamste
You know when you are at the gym and there is only one treadmill left open? You and another person want to use it and you end up taking it (possibly kicking them in the nuts while doing so). Thus you better yourself at the expense of others.
Usually, that's called assault. Not personal improvement.
Originally Posted by
Flickerdart
Imagine a ballroom dance, except instead of graceful spinning skirts, there are deadly spikes of death.
Originally Posted by
Celestia
Having to worship a deity named Blibdoolpoolp is punishment enough.
Originally Posted by
Gildedragon
Paladin: What the?! This farm is full of undead!
Peasant: Yeah, that's Freddie for you; never missed a day of work. Died in summer and came right back up to help with the harvest. Ain't too bright now, but thenagain he never was what we'd call Wizard material
Originally Posted by
Gildedragon
Commoner: Oh! And sir Paladin, stay away from the Rutabaga... it came up particularly mean and evil this year.
Originally Posted by
Segev
[G]etting into retroactive continuity is probably not healthy for your average farmer.
Originally Posted by
Cosi
There's a bunch of speculation about why, and it turns out that all the answers to that question make for pretty cool adventures.
Originally Posted by
Milo v3
I am young enough that when I first read the monk class I immediately thought "Oh so it's like House of Flying Daggers or Naruto". Which I actually feel maybe a worse misconception, considering I was reading 3.0 where the monk Is closer in power level to a random medieval english monk than a martial art's master.....
Originally Posted by
Red Fel
Imagine how many problems you can solve, how many ways you can help your friends, when not constrained by paltry morality! Imagine how much good you can achieve when you're willing to go to any length to achieve it! Imagine the monsters you can slay when you are the greatest monster of them all!
Lots of books, series, and movies, have a protagonist who is a hero because, deep down, he is an even more dark and terrifying creature than the enemies he hunts. A trained killer killing other trained killers. A demonic vampire hunting lesser vampires. A man with a beast soul slaying monsters who threaten the innocent.
(I can't tell if this is silly or serious, and that worries me.)
Originally Posted by
Gildedragon
Originally Posted by
Fizban
Creating a ridiculous mess everywhere you go.
That's called being a wizard.
Originally Posted by
Parvum
Dragonspider Adept is my vote.
Originally Posted by
Mandor
TARQUIN considered Malack a friend and was outraged at his death. Tarquin is not exactly going to join Roy in the Heavans when it's all said and done. So I don't think Belkar caring about the "real Durkon" or about Mr. Scruffy, or other specific single beings, is going to cut the mustard with the Celestial Ratings Bureau, when he honestly doesn't give a sheet about random strangers. He's still a ruthless evil bastard, even if he's our lovable ruthless evil bastard.
Originally Posted by
littlebum2002
Guys, Belkar is only as Evil as 1000 Nazis! He's surely going to a neutral afterlife!
Originally Posted by
CNagy
For some reason this feels really fitting; I got a mental image of a bunch of psions setting up a LAN party.
Originally Posted by
factotum
Well, it's not that if you use the correct definition, but don't forget that the *Internet* definition of a deus ex machina is "Any unexpected plot development I don't like".
Originally Posted by
nedz
Player 1: "My character is an Artist. I make a quick sketch of the suspect"
DM: "Make a skill check"
Player 2: "I cast Silent Image to create a likeness of the suspect."
DM: "OK"
Originally Posted by
littlebum2002
"Hmmm, there's a big boulder on board, I wonder where it could have come from. I mean, we've only seen pictures of frost giants throwing boulders at the ship for 20 strips or so, but let's keep our minds open for other possibilities."
Originally Posted by
Segev
Originally Posted by
mikeejimbo
I mean a TTRPG. It's SimAnt's fault in the first place.
Now you're just arguing SimAnt-ics.
Originally Posted by
Morquard
Uhm... I'm kinda worried now about how often you find giant corpses or giant boulders in your house...
Originally Posted by
Yendor
Originally Posted by
factotum
Yeah, stabbing helpless prisoners is a really bad ass thing to be doing.
Well, it's a bad thing to do, and an ass thing to do, so...
Originally Posted by
Kish
I'll tell you right now, if anyone asked me whether I thought they should wear a ballista on their head, I'm pretty sure I'd say "no."
Originally Posted by
Jay R
Originally Posted by
Peelee
An Airbus can make a water landing. Doesn't make it a good idea.
But then you can make keel-hauling work!
Originally Posted by
Keltest
Originally Posted by
The Giant
Most people who get chicken pox do not encounter chickens.
Well obviously we need to seriously re-think what were naming our diseases then
Originally Posted by
georgie_leech
Honestly, arguing about whether previous OotS debates were justified is probably the closest thing to on-topic these discussion threads can get.
Originally Posted by
Peelee
Look, I'm as much a fan as anyone here of ridiculously specific, overly semantic arguments, but it'd be nice to argue about how stupid Dvalin is/isn't for accepting/rejecting the vote of a council of vampires/dominated dwarves once it actually happens.
Originally Posted by
Ruck
"When the Order of the Stick isn't on the screen, everyone else should be standing around asking, 'Where's the Order of the Stick?'"
Originally Posted by
Shining Wrath
Originally Posted by
KorvinStarmast
Enough with the short jokes, eh?
Far be it from me to mock your shortcomings.
Originally Posted by
Snails
"Excuse me, m'lord, but you are two centuries too early to Protestant Reformation. The Inquisition is here to rip out your entrails to help you confess your trespasses, so they can save your soul before your imminent expiration."
Originally Posted by
Peelee
Originally Posted by
GreatWyrmGold
If you're citing sources, you're probably serious.
False. See
here.
Originally Posted by
Inevitability
If you read this sentence and thought 'can it get to infinite?' then congratulations; you're a typical member of the GitP forums!
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Originally Posted by
danielxcutter
What killed them?
Lack of hit points, mostly.
Originally Posted by
SilverCacaobean
[COLOR="#0000FF"]If Rich specifically avoids writing everything that is on these forums, the only thing that will be left for him to write is a great coherent story!
Originally Posted by
Manty5
Prophecy, or do not. There is no lie.
Originally Posted by
No brains
Originally Posted by
ZamielVanWeber
You don't control when you use it. Your allies would need to successfully scare or anger you.
The One and Only time a Kender would Benefit a party.
Originally Posted by
Coretron03
So when the Ancient Egyptians removed corpses' brains, they were optimizing them for the afterlife?
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Give a man a warhammer, and everything starts to look like a war.
Originally Posted by
Celestia
I'm guessing that's an oversight as they probably didn't expect badger wizards.
Originally Posted by
Flickerdart
If a leopard is a valid option and you pick a horse, that's just bad decisionmaking.
Originally Posted by
Celestia
Hill giant with +16 attack bonus: Yeah, that's fine.
Hill giant with +19 attack bonus: Oh, God! What is that horrifying monstrosity? How could anyone possibly defeat such a terrifying beast?
Originally Posted by
No brains
GMs shouldn't let everything look like a nail. Sometimes they should get screwy.
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Originally Posted by
Venger
When attacking balance, your eyes vanish.
It's like Botnik reads this forum.
Originally Posted by
Venger
There are certain advantages to a game being as badly written as 3.5.
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Changelings are so good at infiltration, they've infiltrated every official setting.
Originally Posted by
Warchon
I think EliDupree is "in the lead" right now, for having used the imaginary poison damage to make a Pun-Pun out of a goddamn hairdresser.
Originally Posted by
Nifft
It's like an incarnation of 4chan as a creature.
Untouchable vermin, useless and impractical, but potentially annoying for everyone else.
Originally Posted by
Inevitability
Problem: high-level beatsticks are easily negated by flight and projectile weapons.
Solution: create a high-level beatstick that can throw stuff, holy crap I'm a genius.
Originally Posted by
Celestia
I can't see any situation in which being a shrub would be beneficial and not completely undermined by also having a wizard stand next to you.
Originally Posted by
Luccan
Orcs. Truly the Half-Orcs of Monster PCs.
Originally Posted by
Mr Beer
Also your chicken flesh golem will look terrifying, so there's that.
Originally Posted by
Quertus
Also, because "milk or be milked!" just seemed like a cool threat.
Originally Posted by
Quertus
Right, so, how many butter golems can one make from an established 25 ton benchmark?
Originally Posted by
Angel Bob
Well, duh, you obviously ought to make the orcs Texans. Problem solved.
Originally Posted by
Arbane
"If the rogue can't sneak into the Underworld and steal a soul back out to the land of the living, maybe the wizard shouldn't be building their own pocket universe."
Originally Posted by
Fyraltari
Durkon is too Lawful for his own Good. It wasn't an exile, it was a mission and Hurak could send him on missions. That the mission was an obvious pretext is not the point.
Originally Posted by
Lapak
Four otyugh siblings were raised as Swordsages by a rat who ended up in the sewer after his owner was assassinated by a rival ninja.
Now they patrol the streets above by night, each named for a famed master of the ancient era.
Mordenkainen is the fun one.
Drawmij always has the right magic item on hand.
Rary is the take-no-prisoners bruiser who dumped CHA.
Leomund is the party face.
Originally Posted by
Resileaf
If you are modeled after an animal which's [sic] sole purpose is to wake people up in the morning, then yes, you are definitely evil.
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Welcome to Druid politics: the losing candidate will be eaten.
Originally Posted by
Shining Wrath
It'd be like kids on the playground with "My dad can whup your dad", only the dads might actually show up and fight.
Originally Posted by
MrConsideration
Someone has sat down in front of blank Word documents at Wizard of the Coast HQ, watching the accusing blink, and thought of an ecology for a monster that pretends to be a cloak so it can eat you.
Originally Posted by
Broken Crown
It would be cool, but on reflection it's probably for the best that my basement isn't full of panthers.
Originally Posted by
Nifft
Originally Posted by
Regitnui
juvenike
Some kind of adolescent victory goddess?
Zeus: "Turn down that damn music! You're giving me a headache again!"
Originally Posted by
Regitnui
If French or German are elves and dwarves, English is a gibbering mouther.
Originally Posted by
Shining Wrath
Also, who wants to eat orcs? Seriously, have you ever tasted one?
Originally Posted by
EvilAnagram
Originally Posted by
Shining Wrath
Imp is another name repurposed for D&D with a long history. It used to mean a child of a noble house ...
But how would that come to refer to an evil, lazy, vicious, impatient, poisonous devil...
Ah, yes.
Originally Posted by
Turin_19
So, when Roy's sword falling off is no longer an issue, Roy falling off is.
Huh.
Originally Posted by
Jay R
So in my first game of D&D, my paladin murdered an entire lawful party.
Originally Posted by
Jay R
“Yes, well, that’s because you’re a Paladin, sworn to do what’s Lawful and what’s Good. I’m just a Thief, free to do what’s right.”
Originally Posted by
Fish
Durkon: Says here, “If any party is found not t’ be in ‘is right mind, th’ entire contract is automatically nullified.”
Vampire: I don’t know about that.
Durkon: Tha’ is in ev’ry contract. It’s known as a Sanity Clause.
Vampire: You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Clause.
Originally Posted by
FaerieGodfather
Can I just say how much I love this thread? You've got people on one side arguing that Paladins killing Evil people without other justification will Fall and lose all their Paladin abilities, and people on other side arguing that if Paladins do not kill every Evil person they encounter will Fall and lose all of their Paladin abilities... both quoting RAW...
.. and the only thing they can all agree on is that the alignment rules are fine as-is and that the Paladin class does not need reform.