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I've obviously made an epic fail at being humorous here. I tried to note in an earlier post that I was being tongue in cheek. That I thought the coincidence is funny, and in the OP I was playing the part of a schlemiel. But something has been lost in the text without inflection. Cheezewizz and a few others got it, I think.
... I will say, of all the people that got riled up, I'm only really creeped out by the ones that blamed/insulted the victim... which doesn't exist, not really. Not a lot of mercy for the comically hapless here. The events happened, my reaction in the OP was the thing that was not genuine.
"OMG SQUEE can I have your pet kitty?"
"Ok, but I'll take your sneak attack."
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My sig used to break the fourth wall, but then it fell through. You must have this much DPR to post below me. Math-crafting is always fun!
I've obviously made an epic fail at being humorous here. I tried to note in an earlier post that I was being tongue in cheek.
The point is that, quite frankly, there are a lot of idiots out there. It's easy to be riled up about this because this is something that a lot of us could imagine happening.
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on M&B:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celesyne
oh, and looting villages is REALLY good money, if a nearby lord doesn't stop by and give you a daily dose of rape.
I ship you/Anyone./Infernal Gardevoir from outside the playground, by Recaiden//ExtendedSig
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanqol
It's not normal, of course, and what's actually happening in Comet Kicker's brain is that she's using regular murder as therapy for worse murder. There's a breakdown in the works and all it needs is one good, hard kick.
I swear to god, every time I play a druid, paladin, ranger, or a spellcaster with a familiar in D&D or (recently) Pathfinder, somebody tries to jack my critter. They just decide that they're entitled to swipe my furry/feathered/whatever friend. This goes beyond just wanting to roleplay with it.
Last time, it was a druid that thought my paladin mount should be hers. She kept casting "Speak with Animals" and demanding to talk with my mount. The DM would shrug and gesture at me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for taking more unique opportunies to RP, but then the rest of the party would have to watch me be forced to play Mr. Ed for ten minutes and tell the druid that I was fine with the paladin (... which was my PC) and didn't really care to "switch teams." She was persistent. She would tell everyone that she thought she was making headway.
In the current group, the dragon blooded sorceress is trying to charm my druid's velociraptor animal companion. Because it is a "dragon" and she has more of a connection to it then I. She, like that druid from before, wishes to dictate how my companion and I interact. On a few occasions she's made the attempt in combat. I've been accused of keeping the velociraptor as a slave. I just... man, I don't know. I don't know what she wants from me. I'll tell her I'm splitting my share of treasure with my "dragon" partner. I don't have enough ranks in Diplomacy for this.
Other times include when I made the mistake of choosing a cat as my wizard's familiar; the monk... she just straight up took it. She took my familiar. Wouldn't give it back. Another time, as a ranger, I had a horse companion. I wouldn't let the barbarian ride it, so he ate it. Ate my damn horse. Damn barbarians. I should note that these are pretty much all different groups over the years, often with common players between them, but different offenders in almost every case. I'm beginning to suspect a conspiracy.
FML. I need to stop playing classes with animal friends. I'm never mistreating the creature, but this almost always happens anyways. This never happens to any other players that I know.
Just because the other player demands to speak to your animal companion, it doesn't mean that your animal companions want to speak back. They don't have to talk to her. They don't have to like her and they can tell her to go away and leave them alone or tell her to talk to the PC. They can tell her that they prefer to be your companion and if that doesn't suffice, they should start to get agitated with her.
You don't have to be mean, but you should play your animal companions as if they are loyal to you and only to you. If you are feeding them properly and taking care of them, that' s a good enough reason for them to be loyal to you.
Your animal companions don't have to like her and don't have to answer her nosy questions. They can tell her to mind her own business and ask her not to bother them any more. "Go away kid, you bother me" is an acceptable answer. '"I'm busy" "You talk to much" are also acceptable answers. "My master is the best and most wonderful, etc." You can wax poetic about how wonderful your PC via your animal companion like Puss-In-Boots tried to make his master's fortune.
Your animal companion can be just as nosy asking why the druid doesn't have her own animal, perhaps offer to find her one suitable if you wan to play nice. Remember what is suitable to the Animal Companion may not be what the player had in mind. Cat -- "I caught you this nice squirrel, rat, pigeon, etc. to be your companion; it's still mostly alive."
Horses are easier. Horses can be downright rude. They snort, they stamp their feet and they run away from things that annoy them.
"Excuse me, I must be going now." is always a useful answer for a getaway. You can bring in a myriad of excuses: "It's time for my bath, snack, rub-down, etc."
Of course, just because they can talk doesn't mean that the animal companion shouldn't get something. Horse, "if you want to talk, bring me an apple. No apple, no talk." It's a tad selfish but most animals have their own wants too.
Of course unless your animal is intelligent, you'll not be bringing much to the conversation. If your animal is intelligent, then ask "why" to most of her questions. Discuss things that are important to your animal -- food, the weather, looking for a mate...."
Speaking of mates, is the druid trying to talk to YOU via your animal companion? It could be a round-about way of doing that.
Good luck with this.
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P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either.
Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
I've tried. Doesn't phase her Chaotic Neutral keister. For actually following through with that threat... well, I have trouble bringing myself to actually ever deal damage to another player's character. Which may be part of my problem.
I actually did try this for a while! But then the player gave me this really forlorn expression when I was challenging the integrity of her character, so I just hung my head and took the crazyness like a man. In the end, I think I only encouraged her.
Same problem as with the sorceress and the dinosaur. My best hope with the cat and the monk was to try to pass a series of really unlikely grapple checks.
Err, do you always give up that fast? Be more consisten!
If some nappy druid tries to convert your celestial horse just tell it that it is allowed to do whatever needs to be done. If someone tried to steal your familiar which is vital to you as a wizard just kill him. If someone slayed and ate my horse I would be pissed and at least take him as mount until the group reaches the next stables or even avenge my horse (and eat him thereafter optionally).
There is no reason not to defend yourself if another character offends your character by deceiving him, stealing from him, slaying his pet, his lover, his new born son et cetera. If your velociraptor devours the group's halfling it was his own fault to anger it or at least not to remember you to feed it.
Speaking of mates, is the druid trying to talk to YOU via your animal companion? It could be a round-about way of doing that.
that was kinda my point earlyer, though this is way better put
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamonbunnies
You take it like a man. Gah. Say you build roads, and I take your bulldozer. You feel like a big man now? Gee, sounds like elementary school behaviour, Escheton, how you'd mind someone taking your things. Doesn't sound like you're a man at all.
Then, it's all a game, of course! oh, how unimportant, as opposed to the great quest for monetary compensation, no?
(Well, I suppose you might need a bulldozer to build roads. To be honest, I haven't the clue.)
You don't need bulldozers to build roads. They are just bigger tools then your shovel because you need to do it fast. Got time? Bring a shovel tomorrow if you don't (want to)think that who took it did so with ill will. If they have no use for it and see how it impairs you they are likely to return it. But you keep shoveling like a man. And stay humble and meek. No matter how badass you might be.
The elementary school behaviour is a note on the quote mentioned above more then it is about wantonly taking stuff from people. Though even there it is a way to play with the introverted kid who just plays with his toy truck ignoring the rest. Be it somewhat mean and intrusive.
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Spoiler
I am a
Chaotic Good Human Wizard/Sorcerer (2nd/2nd Level)
I've obviously made an epic fail at being humorous here. I tried to note in an earlier post that I was being tongue in cheek. That I thought the coincidence is funny, and in the OP I was playing the part of a schlemiel. But something has been lost in the text without inflection. Cheezewizz and a few others got it, I think.
... I will say, of all the people that got riled up, I'm only really creeped out by the ones that blamed/insulted the victim... which doesn't exist, not really. Not a lot of mercy for the comically hapless here. The events happened, my reaction in the OP was the thing that was not genuine.
You don't need bulldozers to build roads. They are just bigger tools then your shovel because you need to do it fast. Got time? Bring a shovel tomorrow if you don't (want to)think that who took it did so with ill will. If they have no use for it and see how it impairs you they are likely to return it. But you keep shoveling like a man. And stay humble and meek. No matter how badass you might be.
The elementary school behaviour is a note on the quote mentioned above more then it is about wantonly taking stuff from people. Though even there it is a way to play with the introverted kid who just plays with his toy truck ignoring the rest. Be it somewhat mean and intrusive.
Being a doormat doesn't make you a man. It makes you a doormat. "Real men" (and women) stand up for what they believe is right; or at least, that's my view on things.
If you believe it's right to let others steal what is rightfully yours, and that it's okay for them to ruin your fun to supplement their own, then you have no right to complain when they do.
Kender are the most annoying race in the multiverse. They're compulsive thieves and liars, and are incredibly destructive, to the point where the gods have forbidden them from learning magic of any kind.
But the overgod of Krynn (Dragonlance) favors them for some insane reason, so wiping them from the face of the world is forbidden.
Doesn't stop people from wanting them extinct, however (and is probably the only reason they haven't been made so).
I ship you/Anyone./Infernal Gardevoir from outside the playground, by Recaiden//ExtendedSig
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanqol
It's not normal, of course, and what's actually happening in Comet Kicker's brain is that she's using regular murder as therapy for worse murder. There's a breakdown in the works and all it needs is one good, hard kick.
Play druid, get animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member...
Give it enough time, and either your DM will stop this thing, or your players will crush the world under badgers. Either way, everyone wins.
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"Okay, so I'm going to quick draw and dual wield these one-pound caltrops as improvised weapons..."
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"Oh, hey, look! Blue Eyes Black Lotus!" "Wait what, do you sacrifice a mana to the... Does it like, summon a... What would that card even do!?" "Oh, it's got a four-energy attack. Completely unviable in actual play, so don't worry about it."
Play druid, get animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member...
Give it enough time, and either your DM will stop this thing, or your players will crush the world under badgers. Either way, everyone wins.
Just remember, when the animal stops being your Companion, it becomes a wild animal again, with all that entails... (i.e. it becomes the DM's problem! )
You need some more aggressive and better animal companions/familiars. If you were using an Imp or Hell Hound then people would probably leave the familiar alone. Also, using a crocodile that bites at players and goes straight into a grapple against them if they get too close would be very effective. (Lets see a low lvl sorcerer try to deal with a buffed up crocodile ripping apart their leg with it's jaws and then grappling them.)
You need some more aggressive and better animal companions/familiars. If you were using an Imp or Hell Hound then people would probably leave the familiar alone. Also, using a crocodile that bites at players and goes straight into a grapple against them if they get too close would be very effective. (Lets see a low lvl sorcerer try to deal with a buffed up crocodile ripping apart their leg with it's jaws and then grappling them.)
Play druid, get animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member, get new animal companion, give animal companion to another party member...
Give it enough time, and either your DM will stop this thing, or your players will crush the world under badgers. Either way, everyone wins.
I ship you/Anyone./Infernal Gardevoir from outside the playground, by Recaiden//ExtendedSig
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanqol
It's not normal, of course, and what's actually happening in Comet Kicker's brain is that she's using regular murder as therapy for worse murder. There's a breakdown in the works and all it needs is one good, hard kick.
"I don't have enough ranks in Diplomacy for this." is now my favorite catchphrase for dealing with whiny customers, whiny bosses, annoying children, girl drama, and the question "Does this make me look fat?"
Also, in reply to the actual topic of this thread, I recommend passing the DM a note at the start of every game declaring that all of your animal companions are both incontinent and prone to excessive flatulence. Then when someone wants them, give them away cheerfully.
And refuse to take them back.
But only if you take this badger off my hands. No, really, I insist! I could put you down for more if you wanted.
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"Okay, so I'm going to quick draw and dual wield these one-pound caltrops as improvised weapons..."
---
"Oh, hey, look! Blue Eyes Black Lotus!" "Wait what, do you sacrifice a mana to the... Does it like, summon a... What would that card even do!?" "Oh, it's got a four-energy attack. Completely unviable in actual play, so don't worry about it."
I ship you/Anyone./Infernal Gardevoir from outside the playground, by Recaiden//ExtendedSig
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanqol
It's not normal, of course, and what's actually happening in Comet Kicker's brain is that she's using regular murder as therapy for worse murder. There's a breakdown in the works and all it needs is one good, hard kick.
Kender are the most annoying race in the multiverse. They're compulsive thieves and liars, and are incredibly destructive, to the point where the gods have forbidden them from learning magic of any kind.
But the overgod of Krynn (Dragonlance) favors them for some insane reason, so wiping them from the face of the world is forbidden.
Doesn't stop people from wanting them extinct, however (and is probably the only reason they haven't been made so).
Personally, I actually like them if not overused. They're more or less the only thing the Dragonlance world has to unpuff the humongous egos rolling around the setting .
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