This isn't your Dad's Childhood! This is Let's Play: Pokemon: Shiny Gold: Hard Mode!

[Kobold-Bard]

Don't apologise for putting finals before that pokemon thing online. RL may be boring and doesn't let 10 year olds rule the world, but it always takes precedent for things like this.

Good luck, I can wait for the next chapter of Sir Misery & co.

[Penguinator]

On the bright side, you have a return plan. As long as this doesn't end up like Fire Emblem games...

[Raistlin1040]

So, in my absence, some LPs have finished, to very nice stories, and new ones have cropped up to acclaim. I hope that the Pokemon LP hasn't become stale for you guys, and I really hope that there's still reason for you all to check back on this, since I'm back and ready to go back to Janick's adventure.
Chapter 7

Spoiler

So, I realize now the vicious cycle of Pokemon training, in that you never actually make any money. You beat up a bunch of punks, get some cash, and then bam, the first thing you spend it on is an antidote and a handful of potions. Do you know why? BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO BUY IN THIS TOWN!

Gawd I hate this place.

Okay, so Misery and Ripper are right behind Stoney, but Ivy has a long way to go. Probably should train him up.

This is what we in the business call "A Grind".

Dammit. I do not have the best luck with these things.

SUCCESS!

I have to ask why you're sneaking around in a cave challenging you children to Pokemon battles, but then I remembered that everyone here is FREAKING INSANE.
SEE BONUS CHAPTER 1

Back to the grind. I hate my life.

...Is there a reason that I magically cannot step forward? It's GRASS. It's not like I haven't walked there before, and considering this stuff is saturated to hell with Pokemon, I can't imagine something being in my way is a problem.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Hey, excuse me, I'm kind of hungry and was wondering if you had any fish that y-

By this point, I am beyond surprise. I feel like I'm locked in a horrible surreal world where nothing ever gets done, because all the fishermen, electricians, scientists, and politicians routinely interrupt their daily lives to battle Pokemon.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

And Ivy's sleeping.

And Ivy's getting beat up.

And Ivy has type advantage, bitch!

Ivy's even with Sir Misery now, so let's give him some training time.

So what? What are you going to do about it?


Dude...I am REALLY sorry.
Their souls taste of rancid trout and the foul aftertaste of failure.

...What do you expect me to say? Neat? Nice try kid. Let's get this over with.

And apparently you can't count, because "some" implies more than one.

Looks easy enough.

Or not. My team is full of disappointments.

That's probably because you're a ten year old idiot who thinks nothing can touch you. I'll give you some advice. Put down the pokeballs, sell your items, invest your money in a bank, go to school, get a job, and stop playing around with all this nonsense!

I don't think that kid listened to me. He was still mumbling something about needing to get something to replace his dead Wooper.

No thanks. Slowpoke tails go straight to my thighs. Lot of trans fats.

Ha. Balls no. I know a con when I see one, and you my friend, are in possession of a con so stupid, I won't even humor you by pretending to be interested.


Will do. A quick stop into the Pokemon Center to get some healing, and I'm going back to hit up that fisherman I missed on the way down.

You keep telling yourself that, champ.

Type advantage.

Which is unhelpful when my team can't land a hit.

...I should have expected this.

I wonder if Water Gun is a good attack or not. It has the word gun in it, so I'm guessing so.

I have the sinking suspicion that I should take this as some kind of sign.

Question to anyone who uses Flickr. I currenlty have 194 images, and the site is telling me that at 200, it will only display my most recent 200. I assume this is just a thing for me, so I'll have to go through a hassle to go back and look at old pictures, but I want to make sure that it won't screw with any of the pictures here.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Huzzah, an update! I was worried for a while there, I hate it when LP's die because the author gets busy. But it's back! And still hilarious. I'm not padding out my comment because I have nothing constructive to say.

@V: What Youtube Let's Play? I recall no such thing. You are a silly person, imagining things I did not do. Remove such fantasies from your mind.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Vespe Ratavo

Huzzah, an update! I was worried for a while there, I hate it when LP's die because the author gets busy. But it's back! And still hilarious. I'm not padding out my comment because I have nothing constructive to say.

I'm still sad you never continued your pokemon youtube let's play!

[Cogwheel]

Their souls taste of rancid trout and the foul aftertaste of failure.

This. This is now my favourite LP quote.

[Illven]

And thus goes Ivy, to the sweet sweet land of failure in the sky.

[Raistlin1040]

I'm still waiting on Kobold-Bard to pop in with another headstone.

[Penguinator]

All hail the easiness of Crystal, where one can reach the final grind before the Elite Four with only a single casualty. (Stupid confusion!)

[Kobold-Bard]

R.I.P
Ivy the Bellsprout

Grass type killed by a fish
lol

Ep. 6 - Ep. 7

[Cheesegear]

Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard

Grass type killed by a fish
lol

I love you, KB.

[karpik777]

Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard

R.I.P
Ivy the Bellsprout

Grass type killed by a fish
lol

Ep. * - Ep. 7

(I've lost track of when they were caught, tell me and i'll adjust).

Oh, and it was chapter 6 - bellsprouts don't last long

[Kobold-Bard]

Originally Posted by Cheesegear

I love you, KB.

I dislike Bellsprouts. Their sole purpose to me is to give my Gastly xp in sprout tower and to be traded for an Onix to kick Faulkner's ass with.

[Sliver]

Bah, I got the onyx but quickly overleveled it by mistake and it hardly listened...

[Cheesegear]

Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard

I dislike Bellsprouts. Their sole purpose to me is to give my Gastly xp in sprout tower and to be traded for an Onix to kick Faulkner's ass with.

Hmm...For me, their purpose is to be traded to a friend with the other-colour game for an Oddish and then breed Bulbasaur for Petal Dance.

[onasuma]

For me, their purpose is to be cherrished before evolving them into the best grass type or an average any other type by comparison.

[Penguinator]

Best grass type, Onasuma? Try Sceptile!

Yeah, that single casualty I mentioned? Bellsprout. One level before Weepinbell.

[Raistlin1040]

Chapter 8

Spoiler

Alright, here I go. Into the cave. Gunning for badge two.

Yeah, actually, he was kind of a push-

Oh. I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to this.

Stupid type matchups.

Alright Ripper. Let's kick some ass.

Obviously you weren't specific enough, because one of your weaknesses is little blue alligator of death.

There are no words to explain my ever-burning hatred of these purple monsters.

I named him Murderface. He's ugly, he kills people, and nobody loves him.

Wait. I could've caught this? FFFFFFUUUUU

I feel my ******* powers returning!
Misery, that is an incredibly lame pun that we're just going to ignore for now.

Dude, I've been in this cave, like right over there, for like fifteen minutes.

This again.

Excuse me, are you some kind of court-appointed judge of skill? I didn't think so.

I hate people.

This thing is actually pretty cute. Time to kill it.

Obese, fire-breathing clowns. It's like the world wanted to gather all my childhood fears into one person.

That is one stupid looking pokemon.

Searching far and wide, huh? Sounds like a stupid way to spend your time.

I've already got a rival, thanks. He might be kind of a wimp, but at least he doesn't hang around in caves like a creep.

And your name is Larry. That's just a stupid name.

Wake up you stupid...dead...warlock thing.

Your trenchcoat makes you look like a pedophile. As an aside.

Right, let's get to the battle.

Oh there's more.

How did you go from white shirt and no hat to black and red clothes and a poofy hat?

D'awww. Adorable. Ripper, use Water Gun!

Awesome. /sarcasm

I caught a plant. I named her Ivy2.

I have to wonder why people do this. They just stand out in fields and wait for little kids to pass by.

Rock/Fighting matchup. Not good for Stoney.

Go Ripper!

Damn straight I have more zip. Whatever that means.

Hm. Creepy guy in black guarding a well. Nothing suspicious about that. To the Pokemon Center.

Chapter 8. In which nothing important happened. My apologies.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Originally Posted by Raistlin1040

Your trenchcoat makes you look like a pedophile. As an aside.

It's better than the other PokéManiacs.

[Raistlin1040]

This is true.

[Sliver]

Being a maniac is a serious business...

[Cogwheel]

Originally Posted by Vespe Ratavo

It's better than the other PokéManiacs.

Okay, a few of those are goofy. But the one furthest to the right. Why.

[Penguinator]

Originally Posted by Raistlin1040

This is true.

Very much so.

[Kobold-Bard]

I'd quite like to see more of murderface. To me this is a fairly important episode actually, assuming he doesn't die pointlessly against some rocket goon.

[Raistlin1040]

Chapter 9

Spoiler

It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, I'm going to get my second badge and score a pretty bundle of cash, and then go catch more Pokemon.

I do not care old man! I'm in a great mood, and you are not going to bring me down!

This sounds vaguely familiar, but I am far too content to listen to your obvious side-quests!

You cannot imagine how much I do not care.

I'm sure they are.

OKAY! I WILL FIND YOUR DAMN SLOWPOKE! GO GET HOBBIES!

Strange, it's almost like you didn't wait for me to give my answer. Oh wait. You didn't.

Well that seems like a duh. Considering the things some of these Pokemon can do. I mean, even Rattata can bite through entire trees. Nothing wrong with making some profit, even if you need to use Pokemon to get it.

I just don't see why you'd want to eat a Slowpoke in the first place. Now, something like a Pidgeotto, I can see. Is that what you have for Thanksgiving around here?

You're getting pretty worked up about this, old man. Be careful, you might burst an artery or something.

...Well that was dramatic.
You know, I know I said I'd help, but I'm actually kind of tired. For some reason, it seems like it's always day time, but I think I'm going to take a little nap in the Pokemon Center. Kurt'll be fine.

Zzzzz

Huh. Murderface is gone. That's weird. I wonder where he went.
Ah well. It's not like it's any big loss anyway.

Alright here we go. Down the ladder.

You're taking this remarkably well for someone who might've just paralyzed themselves over a Slowpoke. Just saying. Maybe you should...I don't know...call for an ambulance or something.

You have Pokemon? Send them out. I'm pretty sure if you sat there and yelled at them long enough they'd know what to do.

This seems suspiciously like some sort of setup.

Hey, look man. The people in this town are crazy. I'm going to offer you a deal. Give me one of the Slowpoke that still has a tail. I'll "return" it, and you guys leave town. I'll get a hefty reward for driving you out, and I'll make a nice sum for beating the Gym here, and then I'll split the profits with you guys. 75/25. Act now and I'll make it 70/30.

Whoa. That was unexpected. Look, calm down...er...Charlie. That's what your nametag says right?

Alright sport. Drop the Pokeball and I'll skim you an extra 5% of my winnings, kay?

I'm sorry I had to do that, Charlie. Don't take it personally.

Wow, these things look even dumber up close. Alright Ivy, let's catch one so we can get out of here.

...Wait what? They can do that? What the hell!?

Get in the ball you lazy pink blob!

Wishful thinking, unfortunately.
Oh hey, you're in Team Rocket. Look, I'm trying to expand my options, and I'm wondering what kind of deal I could get. Like, how long until I would graduate from Grunt.

Oh I get it. Haze the new guy. Fine with me.

You're actually pretty cute. I love your hair. I'm Janick.
Shut up and battle me, jerk.
Hey now, I'm just complimenting you. Not even going to tell me your name?
I'm April. Let's just battle already, alright?
I don't really like to battle, actually. But I will, on one condition. If I win, you give me your phone number.
Ugh, fine. You're not going to win, though, so don't get your hopes up.

So...about that number...
Ugh. Alright, here, fine. Don't call me when I'm at work. Or ever.
Score!
Hey! Move out of the way! Janick is a ladies' man, and he's not going to take your crap!

Bring it punk! Need to impress the girl anyway.

You were saying?

That's what I thought.

Why does everyone want to fight? I want to join you guys!
He ignored me. I started to get Ivy2 out for battle, when I saw a familiar face scampering across the well floor.

Murderface with blackened eyes of fury and stained red lips, dripping blood from his fangs, had managed to find me again. He seemed eager to fight, so I let him jump in.

I...I didn't know Koffings could...could tear like that...

Yes, you're very diabolical. Go get your twisty moustache and white cat. Go on. I'll wait.
The Rockets disappeared after that. I don't think that's the last I've seen of them, and I've still got April's number, so who knows? I've got a job to do anyway, now that they're gone.

[Foeofthelance]

So our heroic conman is now running around with a rabid rattata which can apparently escape its pokeball in order to go on level binging murder sprees...

And people think Team Rocket is scary...

[Vespe Ratavo]

Remember, Janick, girls love it when you call them up at all hours of the night to tell them that your Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattata. Speaking of which, Murderface is awesome. That is all.

top percentage

[Raistlin1040]

Originally Posted by Foeofthelance

So our heroic conman is now running around with a rabid rattata which can apparently escape its pokeball in order to go on level binging murder sprees...

And people think Team Rocket is scary...

Psh. What's the worst that could happen?

[Raistlin1040]

Chapter 10

Spoiler

Here I am, Azalea Gym. Entertain me.

Oh. It's THAT guy again.

I'm sure it was, tough guy. Even though I've kicked your ass twice now, feel free to pretend like you're better than me.

Yes, pretend you didn't see me. Ass.

Mmhmm. Bring it on, champ. I'm up for knocking that smug grin off your face any time.

If that makes you feel better.

Ha.

Wartortle and Elekid, huh? Prepare to get crushed, if that's all you've got.

All it took was a Scratch from Ripper and a Hyper Fang from Murderface (Who looked very pleased with himself), and Elekid was down.

Yeah, this isn't going to end well for you.

And when I say "Not end well", I mean you're screwed beyond belief.

It is a pleasure doing business with you sir. Feel free to come back and try again any time you like.

Hey, anytime you're willing to fork over six and a half grand after I crush your sorry team, find me.

I don't know. It's going to be hard to top that ritual trouncing.

Yes. Way.

Battling 5 year olds isn't really my style, but there's two of them, so it's almost like I'm beating up a 10 year old, and this place seems totally fine with that.

This is going to be cake. Gooey, Beetlejuice-themed cake.

Onwards!

You're welcome to try.

Pretty damn tough.

...Grown up Pokemon?

Alright Murderface, let's start off wi-

Murderface, don't go around eating strange mushrooms. It'll make you sick.

That's not really how evolution works...
[Insert shot of Murderface about to kill a Weedle]

[Insert shot of Murderface about to kill a Beedrill]
Murderface, chill out. Jeez. You're freaking me out.

Alright, Gym Leader. Say your crap and let's go.

I'm going to pretend you said something more epic and badass, okay?

REFER TO BONUS CHAPTER 2

Sweet.
...Whoa, Ripper, you don't look good. Are you alright, little buddy?

HOLY POKEBALLS!
What the hell happened to you?
RIP!
Huh. Rampant testosterone. I like it.

I AM A POKEGOD!

Bonus Chapter 2 coming later tonight.

[Yana]

"Get in the ball, you lazy pink blob!"

I think I'm gonna be keeping an eye on Invincible now...