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  1. - Top - End - #1051
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Tygre View Post
    Another day, another fresh batch of crack. 'Cept there's a catch this time. This time, I want to write a pairing, but I need a suggestion to sway me in the right direction.

    Elan/Kyrie/Crystal
    Maybe? Maybe not?

    I might be somewhat biased.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  2. - Top - End - #1052
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I can do that.
    Actually, I can't. How do you change your name?

    And Tygre the trick is to pick two characters you like who are in no way connected to each other.
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-09-03 at 07:04 PM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  3. - Top - End - #1053

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    I can do that.
    Actually, I can't. How do you change your name?

    And Tygre the trick is to pick two characters you like who are in no way connected to each other.
    You go to the thread in the Board Issues section titled something like "Name Change Request Thread"

    Edit: Woah, I didn't really think you'd change your name!

    I just hope the mods don't misunderstand it.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-03 at 08:16 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  4. - Top - End - #1054
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NemoUtopia's Avatar

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    Lightbulb Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Vaarsuvius...and Vaarsuvius gender-swapped. Seriously? Okay, then I'm just picking one of my own. Ressurected Black Dragon [remember Familicide?] and Vaarsuvius (since the RNG seemed to like the elf and all). So, because I'm an evil, sadistic, and imaginative bloke, I'm going to stick it to the RNG. With a touch of Aliens/Devil/Somebody made them do it.

    Spoiler
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    Vaarsuvius awakes, addled and chained in a cave. The elf’s mind quickly reasserts itself, recognizing the tattered state of robes and battered state of body. And the unmistakable stench of black dragon. Containing the horror rising, the elf touches the collar around its neck. It is mystically wrought silver, inscribed in Elven: ‘Servitude’, the script glowing with a wicked purple light.

    An all too familiar voice hisses through the cavern, “So, you are awake. I’ve been waiting for this, so long despairing, hating without hope. You made a terrible mistake, elf. Tiamat would never stand for such an imbalance, such a destruction. She saw fit to grant the wish of my remaining kin, to restore me. Divine instruction I have been given, to repopulate. I think you will find the Queen’s desires…deliciously ironic. Heightened Polymorph Other!”

    The elf comprehends perfectly, seeing the impressive, gleaming form of its familial nemesis. Vaarsuvius can only scream as its body is ripped into new being, a wordless scream that becomes a roar before true pleasure and horror ensue…


    *evil, uncontrollable laughter* Ok, so I was in a dark mood...here's the sunshiney version:

    Spoiler
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    Vaarsuvius awakes, addled and lethargic in a plush bed. The elf’s mind quickly reasserts itself, recognizing a rush of sensastions Vaarsuvius has only felt near its Mate. And the unmistakable aroma of black dragon, somehow seductive and addling his will. Trying to fight the rising, unbidden feelings, the elf touches the collar around its neck. It is mystically wrought silver, inscribed in Elven: ‘Abandon’, (although it translates to common better as 'the wild abandon of love') the script glowing with a sensual purple light.

    An all too familiar voice hisses through the cavern, “So, you are awake. I’ve been waiting for this, so long despairing, hating without hope. But hate is so entwined with love, especially among my kind. I was brought back, Vaarsuvius, bidden to restore the destruction we caused together. I promise it will be an experience you will never forget...or regret."

    The dragon's voice fails to bring rage or hatred in Vaarsuvius, instead filling the elf's richly robed form with a passion he does not have the willpower to be ashamed of. The humanoid form standing at the foot of the bed, crawling toward Vaarsuvius heightens the reaction, the delicious sensatons, and with open arms the new couple begins their mutual seduction, a hot whisper: 'Polymorph'...


    Because you'd all freak out if that wasn't there. And because I'm not just an evil, sadistic, and imaginative bloke, I'm a creepy, random, evil, sadistic, and imaginative bloke
    Awesome avatar by potatocubed

    Without improvisation, magic is inherently limited

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  5. - Top - End - #1055

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I liked the dark, mean version better.

    I'm a horrible person.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  6. - Top - End - #1056
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    You go to the thread in the Board Issues section titled something like "Name Change Request Thread"

    Edit: Woah, I didn't really think you'd change your name!

    I just hope the mods don't misunderstand it.
    One thing my friends have learned is not to tempt me.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  7. - Top - End - #1057
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I'm back, and this time I got Mr. Rodriguez x Windstriker , I hate to say this but I don't think I'm brave enough to touch that, can someone even more twisted try their hand? If not I don't blame you.
    Edit: I forgot to roll on a situation, feel free to add that yourself.
    Last edited by WhereamI?; 2009-09-03 at 09:28 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #1058
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Wait, you passed up an opportunity to ship Vaarsuvius/Gender-swapped Vaarsuvius? Hold that thought, I'll attempt tomorrow/Saturday/as soon as I have time and can think of a way to make it happen.

    That Banjo/Giggles fic was brilliant, by the way.

  9. - Top - End - #1059
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    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    everytime i read this thread i promise myself that i'll write something but when i start to think i get nowhere, i just can't...

    i've realized my mind is pure and that i'm a functional member of society, i'm so ashamed! it'd be so funny to be cracked like you
    but just as some things can be right and useless at the same time, can’t something be wrong...and priceless?


  10. - Top - End - #1060
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I liked the dark, mean version better.

    I'm a horrible person.
    If you are, then so am I.


    Actually, I love how simmilar yet completely different the two are. It's almost as though one is a dream, and then V wakes up and what's actually happening is the other one.

    No idea which one would be real though. I suppose you could just cycle through them endlessly.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-04 at 04:09 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  11. - Top - End - #1061
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Actually, I like them both equally.
    I don't get disturbed any more. It should be worrying, but it's not.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  12. - Top - End - #1062
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Fammily guy? To easy.
    Spoiler
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    Lois: Peter! I can't beleve you lit yourself on fire.
    Peter: You think that's bad? Remember the time I got it on with an evil lich scorceror?
    Cut to a scene in Azure city Throne room
    Peter: Heh heh, Bone.
    Xykon: Shut up and kiss me.
    And lo, a banner was made for the Minion-god thing



    EDIT: Added sleeves
    Last edited by Funky Goose; 2009-09-04 at 06:14 AM.
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  13. - Top - End - #1063
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    And lo, a banner was made for the Minion-god thing

    My poor, useless eyes!!

    ...*takes another look*

    Actually, it's not that bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Actually, I like them both equally.
    I don't get disturbed any more. It should be worrying, but it's not.
    Is it worrying that it's not worrying?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-04 at 04:21 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  14. - Top - End - #1064
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    And lo, a banner was made for the Minion-god thing

    So beautiful...
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  15. - Top - End - #1065
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Can anyone tell me if there are any rules for encounters? I want to write an encounter joke into my fic but as I don't know the rules of the DnD'verse I was wondering if anyone else could tell me.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  16. - Top - End - #1066
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    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    wink Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    An adventuring party only gets one encounter while traveling from point A to point B.
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  17. - Top - End - #1067

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by zql View Post
    everytime i read this thread i promise myself that i'll write something but when i start to think i get nowhere, i just can't...

    i've realized my mind is pure and that i'm a functional member of society, i'm so ashamed! it'd be so funny to be cracked like you
    Have you tried crack?

    Note: TheDarkFiddler does not advocate taking drugs, and this was an unfunny joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Can anyone tell me if there are any rules for encounters? I want to write an encounter joke into my fic but as I don't know the rules of the DnD'verse I was wondering if anyone else could tell me.
    Usually they're level and environment appropriate, but this is OotS land, no need to stick to simple things like 'logic'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    And lo, a banner was made for the Minion-god thing



    EDIT: Added sleeves
    Is this the proper size? It seems a bit big...
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-04 at 07:18 AM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  18. - Top - End - #1068
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Lien/Thog

    Our scene opens in a small light blue tent on an island near the Western continent. The banner outside reads 'New Azure City's finest tequila bar and ice creamery'

    We see Lien sitting at a back table, drinking from a small glass. There are seven empty small glasses scattered around the table.

    We cut to an alleyway outside, where a gate opens and three evil looking adventurers come through. The barbarous half orcs stomach rumbles loudly and the fighter/sorcerer/rogue looks nervously at the fiend. Then they both spot the banner and sigh in relief. Going inside, the trio find the owner and, pressing a surprisingly large pile of gold in his hand, the leader instructs him to bring their friend as much ice cream as he wants.

    The owner replies 'Aye but I'm short on tables, so he'll have to share one with another patron.' The fiend and the poorly multi-classed leader reluctantly accept and leave to complete their evil mission. [One that we won't see except as a bonus strip in the next trade paperback.]

    The next panel reads 'Three hours later'

    There are now fourteen small empty glasses on the table, and a veritable mountain of empty ice cream dishes are piled beside it. Lien looks up into the barbarians eyes and says 'I've always liked bad boys [hic]. That's why I became a Paladin, so I would have a class feature that would let me detect them. You're just the sort that I like. How's about you and I slip away from this joint and find ourselves someplace a little more private...."

    The last row of the strip has three panels in it
    1) A close up of the barbarians face, where panic is mixed with something else.
    2) A completely black panel
    3) The morning sun is coming into a slit in a fancy tent with a large bed in the middle of it.

  19. - Top - End - #1069
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Im thinkin about doin a full comic-like version of one of the crack pairs, any ideas for plot??? (not too long and oots only plz)
    Last edited by Funky Goose; 2009-09-04 at 09:19 AM.
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  20. - Top - End - #1070
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Pompey and Julia. Maybe Pompey apologizes for kidnapping her, Julia is touched by his sincerity and blah blah blah or something.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  21. - Top - End - #1071
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    Im thinkin about doin a full comic-like version of one of the crack pairs, any ideas? (not too long and oots only plz)
    Just pick your favourite two characters!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  22. - Top - End - #1072
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    Im thinkin about doin a full comic-like version of one of the crack pairs, any ideas? (not too long and oots only plz)
    Or, if you have a sibling or roommate, ask for two random numbers between 1 and 20. I guarantee this is one of the randomest ways to pick numbers.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  23. - Top - End - #1073
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Or, if you have a sibling or roommate, ask for two random numbers between 1 and 20. I guarantee this is one of the randomest ways to pick numbers.
    Not really, because they'll normally pick numbers between 5 and 15, and will almost never pick 1 or 20. /nitpick
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  24. - Top - End - #1074
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    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Can I be a Cleric?
    Ooh, can I have a job title too?

    Zanaril, I really enjoyed this update! I wrote a rather long post with some nitpicking last night but I forgot to post it. The only bit I can remember is that I thought there should be more stammering before the word "fiends".

    Um, picture. It's in color this time! Also, I just realized that cameras do a really bad job of capturing graphite.

    Spoiler
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  25. - Top - End - #1075

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Pompey and Julia. Maybe Pompey apologizes for kidnapping her, Julia is touched by his sincerity and blah blah blah or something.
    Spoiler
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    Pompey: Hey, Julia?
    Julia: Get away from me, you freak.
    Pompey: Wait! I... I'm sorry...
    Julia: Really? I'm so touched by your sincerity. Blah blah blah.
    Pompey: Blah blah blah....
    They kiss.


    Truly the best story in this thread yet.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  26. - Top - End - #1076
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Saeyan, that picture is adorable!

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  27. - Top - End - #1077
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    Ooh, can I have a job title too?

    Zanaril, I really enjoyed this update! I wrote a rather long post with some nitpicking last night but I forgot to post it. The only bit I can remember is that I thought there should be more stammering before the word "fiends".

    Um, picture. It's in color this time! Also, I just realized that cameras do a really bad job of capturing graphite.

    Spoiler
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    D'aww!

    And any nitpicking on anything I write is greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-04 at 09:48 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  28. - Top - End - #1078
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    For my cartoon pairing thing, i have tacken the Redcloack/V story, anyway, heres the first section
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  29. - Top - End - #1079
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    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Saeyan, sweet picture. :)

    That comic is great, too, Funky Goose. However, I would suggest making the speech bubble text centred rather than left-aligned.

    Other than that, please, continue! :D
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
    My art on Instagram

  30. - Top - End - #1080
    Banned
     
    xelliea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    For my cartoon pairing thing, i have tacken the Redcloack/V story, anyway, heres the first section
    I look forward to the next comic.

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