Most absurd superhero?

[Wardog]

There are a lot of really stupid superpowers (particular among minor villains).

But to my mind (and excluding one-off joke characters, like all the would-be members of the Legion of Superheroes) the most totaly but for me, the most totaly insane, impossible to take seriously, what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-that-idea superhero has got to be: B'wana Beast, with "the power to combine animals".

Can anyone think of anyone worse? (We should probably restrict it to ones intended to be taken seriously as characters, not deliberate jokes/parodies, advertising mascots, or propoganda).

[Friv]

I would go with the wonders of Doc Samson, the man who was a super-powered badass as long as no one cut his luxurious, gamma-irradiated hair.

(Apparently at some point they removed that weakness, but that's kind of a shame because it was freaking hilarious and also now his superhero name is totally meaningless.)

[Scowling Dragon]

Hat man. The man who gets the powers of whatever hat he wears. I don't remember where its from, but its a long distant memory of mine.

[Traab]

The Question? Im sure I am missing a lot, but from what I have gathered, his entire "superpower" is being able to find conspiracies in the most obscure of places, and making connections as fast as batman.

[Scowling Dragon]

Nah. He is just a fun nutter. Its not a superpower as much as it his his character.

[Dscherro]

The Black Condor had the ability to fly because he was raised by condors. In Mongolia.
But it gets worse than that. Just look at Arm Fall Off Boy: his ony power was removing his arms to use them as clubs.

[Caesar]

Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.

[Dienekes]

Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.

While I will be the first one to go saying that Supes needs to have his abilities toned down a lot, this isn't remotely true outside of the Silver Age, and maybe All-Star Superman.

In any case, most absurd that I remember, Flannelman, the guys from Mystery Men. That kid whose bodies development is stuck in time so while he can theoretically never get killed, he's stuck as a fat, weak, 13 year old for all eternity, and nothing he does can change that. The Dogwelder, fights crime by welding dogs to villains faces, I'm not sure if that's a superpower or just a sociopath though. There was one guy who was stuck being a corpse, not a walking corpse, but to actually have his consciousness stuck in a random decaying body.

As for the Question. No he has no superpowers other than being unbelievably awesome (or depending on the writer a lunatic spouting whatever philosophical garbage the writer happens to agree with. But personally I prefer the unbelievably awesome version of the character).

[Dscherro]

There was one guy who was stuck being a corpse, not a walking corpse, but to actually have his consciousness stuck in a random decaying body.

What was a typical plot for this comic?

[DigoDragon]

Squirrel Girl? She tends to get used in the most comical situations just for pure parody.

[Soras Teva Gee]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

Spoiler

Show

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Also not a hero but an honorably mention for Stilt-Man. Who is about what you'd imagine.

[Aotrs Commander]

Well, while not a hero, as such (well, completely the opposite), surely we must mention Snowflame, from the New Men (or NuMen? I dunno)? Who got his superpowers for cocaine (and who has been immortalised by Atop the Forth Wall for not only being utterly ridiculous but hammy enough to nearly be on a par with Adam West Batman villains, or the silver age at it's best...!)

[Tengu_temp]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

Spoiler

Show

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Oh yeah, this guy. The funny thing is, that outfit would be completely normal for a female superheroine. Which just shows how ridiculous and impractical the outfits for female comic book characters are.

[Dienekes]

What was a typical plot for this comic?

It was just an aside for a comic I read a long time ago. I think it was a parody-ish of X-Men emphasizing how the powers given are random and many are detrimental. But it's been a long time since I've read it, I'm not sure how much of the above is accurate, but I do remember Dead-Man.

[Ravens_cry]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

Spoiler

Show

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Carl Sagan in a Corset!
Actually, that's exactly what that looks like.
***
Any time I see a female superhero in heels that would make an ecdysiast cry, it makes me want to cry.

[Traab]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

Spoiler

Show

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Also not a hero but an honorably mention for Stilt-Man. Who is about what you'd imagine.

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy!

[Radar]

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy!

The difference being that Tim Curry can pull of that outfit.

[Soras Teva Gee]

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy!

Well its off topic but since you brought it up.... Its off topic because its not absurd, not because Emporio Ivankov isn't a superhero. Its just One Piece.

[Dr.Epic]

Do anime characters count? And for that matter, what about Axe Cop?

[Lord Raziere]

There was one villain-- I forget the name, alas-- whose costume was a big yellow garbage sheet covered in question marks. Her superpower was pretty much the ability to use any superpower never thought of.

but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

[Soras Teva Gee]

There was one villain-- I forget the name, alas-- whose costume was a big yellow garbage sheet covered in question marks. Her superpower was pretty much the ability to use any superpower never thought of.

but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

Someone tell Grant Morrison, he'll write her into a book and have her unleash an unthinkable eldritch abomination upon the world.

We as humans literally cannot conceive of the horror that would be unleashed.

[Storm Vermin]

Someone tell Grant Morrison, he'll write her into a book and have her unleash an unthinkable eldritch abomination upon the world.

We as humans literally cannot conceive of the horror that would be unleashed.

You're thinking of the Quiz.

And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.

[Sith_Happens]

but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

Yeah, the "every power you've never thought of" power seems cool, until you realize how easily you could be defeated by, oh, say, a forum thread.

[Lupus753]

Imagine an African woman, who is a Caucasian with long, blonde hair for some reason. When the jungle is threatened (usually by some poachers), her face becomes a skull. She keeps her blonde hair for some reason. Her skin seems to become grey, as drawing a skeleton would be too taxing on the terrible author.

In this form, she is now essentially omnipotent. She uses this omnipotence to find a circuitous path to beating the bad guys who don't have any powers whatsoever. During the last page of her stories, she decides to subject the villains to absurdly macabre yet creative punishments that make no sense.

Fantomah is incredibly weird. It's terrible in every way, but it's far less fun than an Ed Wood film. She is, unbelievably, probably the first female superhero. She was also used in Hack Slash, an indie action girl/porn comic.

Maybe I should no have informed you of this all.

[Metahuman1]

Do anime characters count? And for that matter, what about Axe Cop?

If anime characters count, Witch Hunter Robin, Episode 1 bad guy.

He freaking TRIPS people! Any FIVE YEAR OLD can do that! God, Gym class at villain school must have REALLY sucked for that guy.

[supermonkeyjoe]

I'd say Marvel comics the Beyonder was pretty absurd, I mean this guy was like a bad self-insert fanfic, he was literally an omnipotent being from another dimension, or a parallel reality with a consciousness, or a mutated inhuman depending on which random backstory you went with.

This guy could literally do whatever he wanted, he decided he wanted a bunch of marvel characters to fight for his amusement so just plucked them from various places in the universe and created a planet for them to fight on. One of them was Galactus, yes that galactus.

He once decided he wanted to be a superhero, but had no concept of actually being a human being, simple things like what's edible and what's not, why mind-controlling the entire planet is a bad idea, yes that's everyone on the planet, professor X, magneto in his mind-control-immune helmet, everyone.

The Beyonder was essentially a child playing with toys but in his imagination, and that is why he is the most absurd superhero, and one of my favourite characters

[smuchmuch]

I would go with the wonders of Doc Samson, the man who was a super-powered badass as long as no one cut his luxurious, gamma-irradiated hair.

(Well it's not like they came up with that particular idea in the first place.)

You're thinking of the Quiz.

And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.

*Watch the article*
... The Brotherhood of Dada ?
Bwahahaha, okay that villain makes a lot more sense in that context.

Also,on the subject, wasn't there a batman villain who was 'Polka dot man' ?

[Dr.Epic]

I'm still going with Axe Cop for the most absurd superheroes:

Spoiler

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[OracleofWuffing]

I'm pretty certain I still have this comic book somewhere.

[Yora]

Bein uneducated, I would say Superman. He's just rediculous.