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  1. - Top - End - #511
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Well, here we go again.
    DurkonxLien. The beginning.
    I deliberately wrote this in such a way that it puts Durkon in the spotlight in front of the other order. Because he deserves it.

    Re-reading it it's not really Durkon centric, so I'll just write another one...

    Spoiler
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    On New Years Eve, four hours from midnight, the three members of the Order still together made their way towards the edges of the celebration, Belkar not having bothered with his disguise despite threats of reprimands seeming particularly dejected.

    "So I'm stuck drinking with fuzzy-wuzzy and the elf?"

    "Truly it is an unknowable mystery why you are unable to attract any company or companions with such a sunny attitude and disposition."

    Belkar shrugged disinterestedly at Vaarsuvius's reply, not really listening, then continued his rant. "I mean, everywhere is free. Everywhere. Even the classy places where they weigh your wallet before they let you in. And we're going to the pub. This is a whole new low."

    "I surmise that because they are free, consumers of a more froward-thinking mindset had already set down their reservations. And since any one with any charisma has joined them we are left, as you succinctly put it, at the pub." Vaarsuvius replied, trying to needle Belkar.

    "Well, you I can understand, and the dwarf, but I'm better than this. I know I am."

    "Speak fer yeself, lad. Ah got ae date." Durkon replied plainly.

    It seemed to take a moment for Belkar to process this. He blinked a few times, and his lips moved as though he was having trouble vocalizing his thoughts.

    "Wha... Wh...how?" He chocked out at last, his eyebrow managing to rise where his hairline would be while his eyes narrowed and his head cocked, as rage, jealousy and deep confusion intermingled with disbelief. It seemed an almost impossible expression, and it's presence on Belkar's face endeared the dwarf to Vaarsuvius for all time.

    "Well," Durkon said, with an air of casualness, "Neaten yerself oop a wee bit, be polite, an' re'pec'ful, an' per'aps grow ae beard."

    Something like a quiet, drawn-out scream, escaped through Belkar's lips.

    Durkon ignored him. "Thar tha lass be noo." He said happily, and walked past the halfling to the other side of the street. A tall, attractive women was leaning casually to the corner. She was very pretty, in a lean sort of way, and was wearing a dress just a bit to low cut to be casual, showing off her natural curves. Her short blue hair in an untidy mess, and she was fidgeting slightly, as though the clothes were slightly uncomfortable, and indeed they had the sheen of brand new clothes, never before worn.

    She gave a wide, dazzling smile and waved as she saw the dwarf approach, and seemed to brighten up considerably. When he was close she bent down to kiss him, a quick, chaste kiss, if Vaarsuvius was any judge, but certainly a promising one. They started to walk off, and she laughed quietly but genuinely at something Durkon had said, her azure hair tussled slightly, their hands slipping together with an easy familiarity.

    Belkar was still frozen, his expression deepening and a faint hiss escaping his lips.

    Vaarsuvius was almost worried. "Are you well?"

    Belkar snapped out of it with a growl. "No! I've just been ditched by the solid, dependable character who is nothing but boring, to go spend time with an A-class hottie totally out of his league! Leaving me with you!"

    Vaarsuvius blinked, then shook head. "Actually... I was only coming to spend time with master Thundershield. You're not really my sort of company, I prefer intellectual types. I'll go back to the inn and trance." Vaarsuvius said to Belkar, turning on the right heel and walking away, muttering so low Belkar barely he heard, "maybe I should send to Kyrie."

    Belkar stayed still for a long time. Finally he shook his head. "Gods I hate you all."


    How was that? Funny I hope.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  2. - Top - End - #512
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Well, here we go again.
    DurkonxLien. The beginning.
    I deliberately wrote this in such a way that it puts Durkon in the spotlight in front of the other order. Because he deserves it.

    Re-reading it it's not really Durkon centric, so I'll just write another one...


    How was that? Funny I hope.
    Certainly amusing, but after V's last line I'm left imagining the magical equivalent of phone sex for some reason.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  3. - Top - End - #513
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Boy, this thread has flourished! And it has its own banners now! That's just great. :)

    That last one was particularly awesome and so in-character, somehow! :D

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedCelt View Post
    I cannot believe the nudity thread got scrubbed and this one hasn't been.
    The mods are afraid, very afraid, to enter this thread.

    I have a suggestion for a not-so-crack pairing, like the last one was... Lien and O-Chul. They certainly seem to get on well, and she was soooo glad to see him, and now they're, um, riding a shark together. No, I'm not talking about a threesome... yet. XD
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-08-13 at 04:05 AM.
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
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  4. - Top - End - #514
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I presume you mean Minion992929's story when you say last one. It was indeed in character.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    The mods are afraid, very afraid, to enter this thread.
    They're afraid they'll like it.

    No, I'm not talking about a threesome... yet. XD
    That'll be among the bonus comics of the fourth book.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  5. - Top - End - #515
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    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    They're afraid they'll like it.
    Maybe they're reluctant to post here or scrubb posts because doing so will mean admitting they've been here.

    If ever this thread does overstep the rules, they'll draw straws as to who has to do the moderating.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  6. - Top - End - #516
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Also, it could be the fact that none of the material actually transgress the rules? Just a thought :)
    Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."

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  7. - Top - End - #517
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Adding to that, considering the Houses of Fanservice are allowed... yeah.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  8. - Top - End - #518
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Weimann View Post
    Also, it could be the fact that none of the material actually transgress the rules? Just a thought :)
    Maybe we're just masters of toeing the line.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  9. - Top - End - #519
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedCelt View Post
    nudity thread
    Ow, i wish that was still around.

  10. - Top - End - #520
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Oh, I've GOT to try this!

    Try One: CrystalxThe orc chieftain (Love potion)
    That one looks pretty funny, but I can't be arsed to write it.

    Try Two: TherklaxDurkon w/Thor's might (Love potion)
    Therkla/Durkon?! Plus, why am I getting so many twos?

    Try Three: EoFaFxJulia GreenhiltxArgent (Pink frills and white lace)
    ...yeah, I'm not even going near that one.

    Try Four: YorxTsukiko (Being very drunk/True Love)
    Is there something wrong with me that I wanted Yor/Roy? Still, though, this one seems reasonable.

    Try Five: Durokanxf!Durokan (American high school setting)
    Someone write this one!

    ...Aww, no two-person yaoi.

    Edit: Okay, I'm doing five more, and I'll try to get some yaoi this time!

    T6: O-ChulxLien (French maid costume)
    Sadly, it's reasonably sane. Still, though, I might try to write it... watch this space!

    T7: Roy's swordxSarah Greenhilt (Pink frills and white lace)
    See try number three...

    T8: TsukikoxNalexHorace Greenhilt (Snowed in)
    WHERE'S THE FRIGGIN YAOI?!

    T9: CeliaxFlesh golem Roy (Snowed in)
    Celia the necrophiliac! This should be fun!

    T10: RedcloakxDurokan (One-sided love)
    YAOI!!!

    Okay, then, I'll post a dA link to a ZxV (ZZ'dtrixVaarsuvius) fic I'll do... this might end up as my OOTS OTP...
    Last edited by V Junior; 2009-08-13 at 05:52 AM.
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    Avatar: Dallas-Dakota
    VJ: Dr. Bath

    Quote Originally Posted by Ramsus View Post
    I have to say I wish to make love to your no saying the horrible pluralization of ninja rule.


    I'm not a girl, and I'm not a boy. I'm an androgyne, so please don't call me "him" or "her" - call me "zi" instead if you can. If you've got a problem with this, then don't both flaming, I'll just ignore you.

  11. - Top - End - #521
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by V Junior View Post
    Oh, I've GOT to try this!

    ...Aww, no two-person yaoi.
    You know, you don't have to do what the tables tell you to do.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-13 at 05:45 AM.
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  12. - Top - End - #522
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    You know, you don't have to do what the tables tell you to do.
    Which is exactly why the only crackfic I'll write is one I didn't get - ZxV!
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    Avatar: Dallas-Dakota
    VJ: Dr. Bath

    Quote Originally Posted by Ramsus View Post
    I have to say I wish to make love to your no saying the horrible pluralization of ninja rule.


    I'm not a girl, and I'm not a boy. I'm an androgyne, so please don't call me "him" or "her" - call me "zi" instead if you can. If you've got a problem with this, then don't both flaming, I'll just ignore you.

  13. - Top - End - #523
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by V Junior View Post
    Which is exactly why the only crackfic I'll write is one I didn't get - ZxV!
    Hey! Get your own pairing! (I suppose you can write it if you really want to, but it could potentially get confusing with two ongoing stories of the same couple.)

    Why does everyone suddely like VxZ so much? Is it the cuteness? I wonder if we can elevate another pairing to those heights...
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-13 at 06:17 AM.
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  14. - Top - End - #524
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I'm trying on Durkon and Lien, but I'm not a very cute person.

    Oh, and guess what I just got...
    Drizzt and Zz'Dtri!
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  15. - Top - End - #525
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    Weimann's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Why does everyone suddely like VxZ so much? Is it the cuteness?
    I think it's just you doing a great job at selling the pairing :P
    Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."

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  16. - Top - End - #526
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Oh, and guess what I just got...
    Drizzt and Zz'Dtri!
    It has potential.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  17. - Top - End - #527

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Why does everyone suddely like VxZ so much? Is it the cuteness? I wonder if we can elevate another pairing to those heights...
    IIRC, Genderflipped ZxGenderflipped Sarah was pretty popular awhile ago.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  18. - Top - End - #528
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Problems have arisen.

    I have an idea for a third chapter on the Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! story, but there are some complications. While it could be written in a PG-13 mode, I really think it would come out better if it wasn't.

    So, I had the idea of sending it out on Ninjamuffin's PM list (as can be found in the Fanservice threads). You think that's a good idea, or should I endeavor to make it postable?
    Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."

    Pony avatar by the Great and Powerful DirtyTabs. Lotsa hugs!

    Scourge Caste avatar by the illustrious Akrim.elf. Thank you!

  19. - Top - End - #529
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    If you do that, it may lead to this site getting a PM of it's own, and lots of people doing this.
    It starts with pickpockets. It ends with verbal pornography between animals and inanimate objects. Can you live with that?
    But I think we should start our own one, rather then get a whole lot of people who aren't interested.
    I'll start it on my sig.
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-08-13 at 06:52 AM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  20. - Top - End - #530
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    IIRC, Genderflipped ZxGenderflipped Sarah was pretty popular awhile ago.
    IIRC, it was Genderflipped Sarah, Genderflipped Z, and the IFCC. At least that's what I and someone else both wrote.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-13 at 06:51 AM.
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  21. - Top - End - #531
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Back when there was no plot, just a contrived circumstance and people acting out of character.
    Good times.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  22. - Top - End - #532
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Back when there was no plot, just a contrived circumstance and people acting out of character.
    Good times.
    I didn't intend for my ZxV stories to have a plot either, it just developed by itself as I tried to figure out ways of having Z and V meeting and ending up in bed without getting repetative.

    Not that plot is a bad thing. I like (w)angst as much as I like smut, and the former kinda requires some story.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-13 at 07:22 AM.
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  23. - Top - End - #533

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I didn't intend for my ZxV stories to have a plot either, it just developed by itself as I tried to figure out ways of having Z and V meeting and ending up in bed without getting repetative.

    Not that plot is a bad thing. I like (w)angst as much as I like smut, and the former kinda requires some story.
    OH GOD ITS MULTIPLYING WHAT HAVE I DONE

    EDIT: A PM list? Another list I have to be left out of... *Sigh*
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-08-13 at 07:28 AM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  24. - Top - End - #534
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Ok, I rolled out Tsuiko and Belkar. One of them very drunken. I'm going to think a little bit about this, because it seems familiar in a certain way. We had Belkar very drunken and we had a situation between these two Characters in the comic. Probably I'll use this.
    I apologise to you for misspelling, using words incorrectly and breaking the rules of grammar. Please forgive me, English is not my native tongue.

  25. - Top - End - #535
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Belkar really liked Tsukiko's short skirt.

    Since Belkar doesn't need to be drunk to hit on her, I'd presume it's Tsukiko who's smashed.

    Of course, it's creepier if you consider Tsukiko a teenager.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  26. - Top - End - #536
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Right. Let's see what I get.

    Initial table and pathetic table, for starters.

    17 for the initial table, meaning Kazumi

    16 for the pathetic, meaning... Argent.

    And the plot device!

    American... high school setting?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Revlid View Post
    And so it was that Zaeed, Aang, Winry, Ezio, Sadoko and Snow White all set out on their epic journey to destroy The Empire.

    God I love Exalted.


    Gold Dragon avatar by Serpentine


  27. - Top - End - #537
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    OH GOD ITS MULTIPLYING WHAT HAVE I DONE
    What's multiplying?

    EDIT: A PM list? Another list I have to be left out of... *Sigh*
    I know.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  28. - Top - End - #538

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by horngeek View Post
    Right. Let's see what I get.

    Initial table and pathetic table, for starters.

    17 for the initial table, meaning Kazumi

    16 for the pathetic, meaning... Argent.

    And the plot device!

    American... high school setting?
    Good luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I didn't intend for my ZxV stories to have a plot either, it just developed by itself as I tried to figure out ways of having Z and V meeting and ending up in bed without getting repetative.
    THAT'S MULTIPLYING! THE STORY!
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  29. - Top - End - #539
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    THAT'S MULTIPLYING! THE STORY!
    Well, I have written over 5,000 words of ZxV fanfic.

    But you know that already.

    Unless you haven't been following this thread all the time, and then it's your own fault for being surprised.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-13 at 08:04 AM.
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  30. - Top - End - #540
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Come on!!! No comments/critiques?!?!?!

    At least let me know if my story is par for these boards. If so I'll write more (and maybe improve?), if not I'll go back to lurking and enjoying your stories.

    For the record this was a roll of O'Chul and Erfworld Archon.


    Quote Originally Posted by RPGAgmJAY View Post
    Here it is!

    WARNING: NOT FOR YOUNGSTERS!!

    Spoiler
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    He awoke slowly, his eyes staying shut longer than usual to block out the bright light of his surroundings. The ground beneath him was soft and comfortable with just the right amount of give to keep him mildly unconscious by choice. With a broad yawn he stretched out his tired limbs... they still ached faintly from all these nights on the hard floo...

    THE BARS ARE GONE! It struck him immediately and he was on his feet, heading for anexit from this blasted tower. O'Chul knew he would only get one shot at this escape...

    The place where he stood was no longer the wretched tower in which Xykon had held him captive for all this time, instead the stone blocks were replaced by fluffy white clouds. The air here was clear rather than moldy and smelled faintly of lilacs, which reminded O'Chul of his younger days. The brilliant light of this place was hard to acclimate to after all of this time spent under the faint lights of the tower.

    It became clear to him what had occured. He had expired. A slight smile crossed overhis lips as he came to fully understand. He whispered to himself, "This must be..."

    "Heaven." A soft voice answered from behind him. O'Chul turned to see a faint light hovering several yards behind him. As he watched it grew vertically like a pillar and widened breifly to allow a figure to step through. It was a woman, a lady to be more specific. Her form was compact and trim beneath the light blue buisiness suit which allowed for just a hint of the girl's natural curves. Her blond hair was cut short beneath her matching garrison hat and tucked back behind her ears.

    O'Chul smiled as he knew he was about to enter paradise and receive his reward for a life lived serving the gods. This girl was cute and her swagger carried an air of confidence, matched with her smile which expressed a familiarity and genuine affection.

    O'Chul grined as she walked to him, as he let his eyes take in this heavenly beauty he asked, "Which would make you an angel?"

    The girl laughed coyly as she stood across from him and took his hand in her own. She raised his hand up and began to kiss it and answered, "You can call me that if you like..." As she game to a scar that ran across the back of his hand she let a few tears fall from her perfect almond shaped brown eyes. As the tears fell upon his hand the scar washed away like it was just a smudge on his skin. O'chul was stunned and astonished and... moved. This beautiful girl didn't know him but as she ministered to his forearm it felt like she wept over the pain he felt from each of those wounds, as if she was there... always there... for his entire life.

    By the time she had worked her way to his bicep he was overwhelmed and his heart felt like it was straining against his chest, ready to explode. Tears streamed down his face as he curled around her and he softly placed a kiss on the back of her neck. They intertwined as she worked over the rest of his body, restoring the skin and removing all sign of his struggles in the mortal realm.

    She looked up at him after she had finished, "How do you feel O'Chul?" Her eyes were still wet with tears that she slowly wiped away on a delicate napkin she retrieved from a pocket. Other than that she was perfect, not even a redness to her eyes after all of that work.

    O'Chul looked over his fresh form and smiled like a boy many years younger. "Darling, you've refreshed me to a point where I barely recognize myself..." He rotated an arm, expecting to feel like a young man again but his muscles were still sore and the socket of his shoulder still had that slight grind he began to develop a few years back. He looked away from her not wishing to offend after such a miraculous work, "Honestly... I still *feel* old on the inside."

    When he looked back to her he found her smiling with an impish grin. The way she slithered closer to him make O'Chul rigid like a board. She stated, with more than a little enthusiam, "Just wait til you see how we rejuvinate the body..." and with that she pounced on him, locking lips with the man as they both fell into the cloudy floor.

    Covered by the clouds, giggling and kissing sounds could be heard from beneath the little pile of clouds they had covered themselves with. Her hat and popped out to lay on the clouds next to them. The buisiness suit quickly followed after. Occasional suggestions from O'Chul to "slow down" or "take it easy" were met with a giggly "Don't be so stiff old man!", which would bring them both to laughter.

    After some quiet moments there was a giggle followed by a gasp. The girl's voice could quietly be heard commenting, "Well, this can stay stiff..." followed by a groan from O'Chul and once again... mixed laughter. She remarked, "Mr. Stiffly" and there was even more laughter. The two of them rolled through the clouds like youngsters used to roll in a haystack... kissing, carressing, grinding the whole way. It was better than anything O'Chul had ever imagined. Every sacrifice seemed worth it as he experienced the first of his many rewards.

    His attention was called back to the moment as the girl was envigorated with energy. She was writhing against him and whispered, "Give me Mr. Stiffly..." O'Chul perked an eyebrow and asked, "Again?" She just bit her bottom lip and nodded. To motivate him she pushed aside some of the cloud so O'Chul could enjoy a good view of her.

    O'Chul grinned broadly and said, "Here comes Mr. Stiffly!" before pouncing on her once again. She began moaning, "Oh Mr. Stiffly..." as they rolled through the clouds. At one point she began to buck and thrash against his body while crying out "Mr. Stiffly! Mr. Stiffly!", she then pulled him to her and as she quivered she screamed in his ear so loud it made him wince, "MR. STIFFLY!" but her voice seemed different this time.

    O'Chul rubbed his crusty eyes, which had a hard time opening. He wiped some drool from the corners of his mouth and looked around. Caged... back in the tower... again. O'Chul just rubbed his head as he rolled back against the bars. Monster-san was saying something about fearing that he had died in his sleep. O'Chul just shook his head and looked up through a small window high in the tower. Seeing a single cloud he smiled, "Soon darling... soon."


    Critiques/Comments welcome.

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