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  1. - Top - End - #241
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Welknair's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    418. If I am a guy, I may not play a female character.

    418a. The opposite is usually okay.
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    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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  2. - Top - End - #242
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    419. i may never play a lizardfolk ranger using a Senjid's invention* with cleave based build
    419b. i may never charge with that charecter to a railroading army of goblins, who were supposed to die to show how the 'chosen ones' (not the us) awosome.
    419c. i may not singlehandly destroy that army.

    *a double weapon, one heas is a hammer of 1d10 of earth domination, and the outer is scimitar of great cleaving
    Last edited by super dark33; 2011-07-16 at 06:12 PM.
    Despite everything, its still me.

  3. - Top - End - #243
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Welknair's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    420. As a Wizard I may not show up the rest of the party by fulfilling all of their roles before they get the chance to.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

  4. - Top - End - #244
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Archpaladin Zousha's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    Lolth must be your patron deity, because Boccob would be more appropriate given the circumstances.
    Maybe this is his patron deity:
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    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

  5. - Top - End - #245
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    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    421: Not allowed to glue a key to a knife and claim to be a Keyblade Wielder.

    422: Not allowed to throw other party members out of windows.

    422a: Even if i think it's funny.

    423: The old wizard does not have Narnia in his wardrobe, i am not allowed to try to prove otherwise.

    424: Eating the DMPC in his sleep is not appreciated.

    424a: This is why i may never play anything that can Swallow Whole.

  6. - Top - End - #246
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Mixt View Post
    423: The old wizard does not have Narnia in his wardrobe, i am not allowed to try to prove otherwise.
    425. I am not allowed to cast gate and permanency in the back of a wardrobe.
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  7. - Top - End - #247
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftmongoose View Post
    425. I am not allowed to cast gate and permanency in the back of a wardrobe.
    426. I am not allowed to journey into said wardrobe and bring back a the skin of a Dire Lion.

    427. No, not even then.
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  8. - Top - End - #248
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey McBannert View Post
    426. I am not allowed to journey into said wardrobe and bring back a the skin of a Dire Lion.

    427. No, not even then.
    428. As an epic level druid, I am not allowed to go into the wardrobe and wild shape into a legendary paragon lion, and have a homebrew feat that let's me talk while in animal form.
    Avatar of George the Dragon Slayer, from the upcoming Indivisible!
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  9. - Top - End - #249
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    429. I may not create rings of plane shift that only go to a certain wooded plain with lots of ponds.

    430. The ponds may not be gates.

    431. None of the gate ponds leads to a plane whose only inhabitant is an epic level female sorcerer with a special mass power word kill spell.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  10. - Top - End - #250
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    Darth Stabber's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saintheart View Post
    9. Doomspeak does not require me to put a green cloak and steel mask on and randomly announce that DOOM is here to solve your pitiful moral quandary.
    Yes it does.

    Quote Originally Posted by Megaduck View Post
    10. I may not bring puppets to the table.
    11. Not even if they are really good puppets.
    I have used a puppet to great effect, though it is mostly to drive players insane.
    Last edited by Darth Stabber; 2011-07-17 at 06:13 PM.
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    Did you just put a gear shift on a lightsaber?
    Redneck laser swords only work in manual.

  11. - Top - End - #251
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    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    432: I may not start playing this every time we see a black dragon.
    Last edited by Mixt; 2011-07-18 at 02:41 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #252
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    433: I may not hit random areas of the wall, and claim that the bombable areas make different sounds.

    434: I may not claim that all players should be payed an equal amount if I took Vow of Poverty.

    Some 4e ones

    435: I am not allowed to build a Swordmage/Wizard hybrid who outdamages the Barbarian.

    436: Especially if he doesn't have to roll for attacks.

    437: I am not allowed to tell the new player that Vampires are a good class.

    438: I am not allowed to tell the new player that Hybrids are a smart choice.

    439: I am not allowed to tell the new player that he doesn't need Divine Power for his Paladin.

    440: I am not allowed to talk to the new player.

    441: I may not allowed to talk to the players, all my actions must be written on a note card and handed to the DM.

    442: I am not allowed to draw obscene pictures on the note card and hand it to the DM.
    Last edited by Blazen; 2011-07-18 at 04:17 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #253
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Axinian's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    443. There is no such thing as a dire giraffe, therefore:

    443a. I may not wild shape into one.

    443b. I may not have one as an animal companion.

    444. I am not allowed to make one either.
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    Axinia: My campaign setting.
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  14. - Top - End - #254
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    onthetown's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    445. I am no longer allowed to kill dire rats while in possession of an Animate Dead scroll. They do not make good pets, and wearing the animated head as a hat is not worth the +bazillion Intimidate I will get from it.

    Very first campaign. Our DM gave us an Animate Dead scroll. We killed a dire rat queen. I animated it, wore the animated head as a hat for awhile, and called her Mr. Snugglespoo. He let me keep it for the whole campaign, but I can tell you that I have never seen another Animate Dead scroll for the past six years since.
    Last edited by onthetown; 2011-07-18 at 08:06 PM.
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  15. - Top - End - #255
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    446. I am no longer aloud to seduce the monk with vow of abstinence. no matter how high my charisma

  16. - Top - End - #256
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    418. If I am a guy, I may not play a female character.

    418a. The opposite is usually okay.
    I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.

    Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.

    Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.

  17. - Top - End - #257
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.

    Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.

    Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.
    Might have more to do with the specific player in question here.
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  18. - Top - End - #258
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Axinian's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    447. Charisma can't be my primary stat, especially if it should be my dump stat.




    Really, I find it really hard to dump charisma. It's my favorite.
    Last edited by Axinian; 2011-07-19 at 01:40 PM.
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    Axinia: My campaign setting.
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  19. - Top - End - #259
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Kaww's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.

    Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.

    Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.
    I object to your objection! I usually play/DM in at least 50% female parties. That said:

    448. I am not allowed to object.

    448a. Not even to the objections.

    448b. Not even if I'm right.

    449. Not allowed to derail the thread. It's made for the LULZ.

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  20. - Top - End - #260
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    450: That inter-party conflict is non-lethal damage. Even if the sorcerer would not know that, using Scorching Ray for half the duskblade's health is wrong.
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  21. - Top - End - #261
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    451. I am no longer allowed to play party thief. Spell- or combat-focused bards are okay.

    451a. Because I am forced to play party thief in RuneQuest (the dice roll as the dice roll, after all), I must remember to always check for traps at doors and chests. Do not touch bricks or objects lying out of place. Do not enter a room, hallway, or area without looking to the rest of the party to see if they want me to check for traps. Always go first. Never go in alone. Always listen to their knowledge -- they would make better party thieves than me.
    Last edited by onthetown; 2011-07-19 at 09:36 PM.
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  22. - Top - End - #262
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    452. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "dead".

    453. Or the condition "alive".

    454. Or the condition "surrounded by incompetent fools".

    455. Or the condition "has only two arms".
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  23. - Top - End - #263
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Flame of Anor View Post
    452. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "dead".

    453. Or the condition "alive".

    454. Or the condition "surrounded by incompetent fools".

    455. Or the condition "has only two arms".
    456. Or the condition of "has to meet feat prerequisites".

    457. Or the condition of "can't be any level I want".

    458. Or the condition of "isn't a god".

    459. Or the condition of "can't wield a sword by holding it with my mouth".
    Last edited by Hiro Protagonest; 2011-07-20 at 02:35 PM.
    Avatar of George the Dragon Slayer, from the upcoming Indivisible!
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  24. - Top - End - #264
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Shadow Lord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftmongoose View Post
    456. Or the condition of "has to meet feat prerequisites".

    457. Or the condition of "can't be any level I want".

    458. Or the condition of "isn't a god".

    459. Or the condition of "can't wield a sword by holding it with my mouth".
    460. Or the condition of " not having Iron Heart Surge on ".
    ~ Thanks to Crimmy for Richardtar ~

  25. - Top - End - #265
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Lord View Post
    460. Or the condition of " not having Iron Heart Surge on ".
    461. Or the condition "Isn't rich enough"

    462. Or the condition "The rest of the party is mad at me"

    463. Or the conditions "Isn't immune to X"
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2011-07-20 at 03:02 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  26. - Top - End - #266
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    464. That's it, no more ToB for you!
    Pokemon friend code : 3067-5701-8746

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  27. - Top - End - #267
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    465. I may not troll the GM.

    466. The GM smiling is not a sign that he's trolling us. Even if he's grinning really widely.

    467. In fact, in absence of actual trolls, I may not utter the word "troll".

    468. I may not feed the trolls.
    "It's the fate of all things under the sky,
    to grow old and wither and die."

  28. - Top - End - #268
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    464a. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "No more ToB for you".

    469. There is not a TROOOOLLLLLLL IN THE DUNGEOOOONNNN (thought you ought to know) every time our party encounters a troll.
    Last edited by Flame of Anor; 2011-07-20 at 04:16 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  29. - Top - End - #269
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1D6. I may not record my ability scores in hexadecimal.

    000111010111. Same for binary

    472. I may not base my wizard off of Harry Dresden.

    473. Especially not
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    Harry Dresden.

    474. I may not replace my Vampire's weakness to sunlight with Flaw: Insufferable Shiny Douche.

    475. None of my characters may be based off Pokemon.

    476. Especially not Magikarp.

    477. Just because this is an Asian themed setting does not mean that my Ranger is called a Sentai.

  30. - Top - End - #270
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    478. Iron Heart Surge doesn't remove the condition "isn't Roronoa Zoro".

    479. Or the condition "can't cut through entire ships and buildings with one slash".

    480. Or the condition "doesn't have the sword skills of Mihawk and Zoro combined".

    481. Or the condition "isn't Fire Lord Zuko".

    482. Or the condition "isn't the Avatar".
    Last edited by Hiro Protagonest; 2011-07-20 at 10:32 PM. Reason: The swordsages! They're everywhere!
    Avatar of George the Dragon Slayer, from the upcoming Indivisible!
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