(3.5) The Corpsecrafted Spellstitched Necropolitan

[Irreverent Fool]

Why wouldn't they be racial? Your race is what kind of creature you are, and you are a spell-stitched necropolitan elf. Just like how a half-celestial elf has a race of "half celestial elf", and a half-dragon ogre has a race of "half-dragon ogre".

I can't really see anything else they could be. They certainly aren't granted by class levels or feats.

You'd also still get the bonuses even if you have the feat at first level, by the same logic that makes practiced spellcaster gives you scaling bonuses even if you take it at level three as a wizard2/fighter1, and take three more levels of fighter.

They are not racial SLAs. Your explanation is reasonable, but it is not RAW (or RAI). Furthermore, the races referred to in the feat have relatively weak non-scaling SLAs iirc, whereas a spellstitched creature tends to have powerful SLAs. (Not that what appears to be a weak feat hasn't been used to much more powerful effect in other cases.)

Fiendish isn't a race. Half-Farspawn isn't a race. Spellstitched isn't a race.

@balista
I like the tree/library thing. I've been wondering though, are necropolitans specifically immune to aging? If not, don't they still suffer aging as 'augmented X'? (it's late, I don't have my books out)

obnoxious
sig

[TheMadLinguist]

No, but "half-starspawn elf" is certainly a race.

To quote wizards.com, "A character's race is the character's species. ". If half-elf is a race, then a half-dragon elf must also be a race.

Also, from the DMG: "how to read statblocks".

Name
Race and Class
CR
HD
et cetera

In every instance I have seen where a creature had a template applied to it, it was listed under the "race and class" section of the statblock.

The dragonkind races detailed in various D&D books (some of them appearing in more than one source) are as follows.
Races of the Dragon: Dragonborn, spellscale, kobold, draconic creatures, half-dragons.

[TheCountAlucard]

But what about physical feats? Can you engage in the most strenous physical labor possible for your Strength score for an indefinite period of time without ill effect, or will your undead frame begin to bend and break underneath the stress?

Let's see... the SRD notes that if you're lifting anywhere from your max load to twice that weight, you can only stagger around with it, and it cuts your movement down to 5 feet, but it doesn't say anything about how long you can do it. Also, not lifting-related, but it also indicates that an extended forced march causes you to take non-lethal damage. Since undead are immune to non-lethal damage...

Can you run as fast as possible for an indefinite period of time?

Well, let's see what the SRD has to say about it...

A character with a Constitution score of 9 or higher can run for a minute without a problem.

Since Constitution is a nonability for undead, they either can't run at all, or can run indefinitely, depending on how you look at it.

...and since it says this just a little further down...

A character can’t run for an extended period of time.

Well, glad that's settled.

How does extreme heat/cold in climates (but not so extreme as to prevent life, think desert nomads or Eskimos) affect you?

Once again, the SRD has the answer!

Cold and exposure deal nonlethal damage to the victim.

Since you're immune to it... It's not until you're down to -20 degrees that the damage starts becoming lethal, which is also the same point at which characters no longer get Fortitude saves against it (which you wouldn't have to worry about, since undead don't have to make them unless they affect objects), but as long as you're above -20 degrees, you're good.

As for heat...

Heat deals nonlethal damage...

Looks like you're good there, too... though once again, extreme temperatures deal lethal damage... to breathing creatures. Looks like you're good, then.

[balistafreak]

Well, I'm quite aware that undead are lethal to non-lethal damage, but that (realistically, at least as realistically as undead are in the first place) an undead won't pass out from stress or fatigue, and therefore push its body past its intended limits.

Specifically, it was said in some "Zombie Survival Guide" that a zombie will literally attack until its muscles disintegrate. See, swinging your arms around will eventually cause nonlethal damage as you tire. But an undead will (or can; he might stop if he's smart) do it until he breaks.

And the idea that the undead can't run simply seems wrong. Sure, "a character is not able to run for extended periods of time", but that's not including magic or other outside factors. If you had a spell cast that gave you immunity to nonlethal damage, wouldn't you want to run as fast as you could for the duration? Shouldn't the same idea then apply indefinitely to an undead?

In a way, that's like implying that undead can't charge either; when you charge, its similiar spending a move action to travel more than your hustle speed (aka running) and then your standard action to attack. Now, normally you can't full-speed RUN as a move action, which is why charging is special...

... well, hopefully you understand that. Even if the above made absolutely no sense, saying an undead can't run at all is kind of... strange. Well, zombies and their partial-actions-only aside.

While undead may be immune to nonlethal damage, what about its cumulative effects? Nonlethal damage is nonlethal because a biological being can shrug it off in short order, but what about an undead that doesn't heal natur -

Wait. Necropolitans do heal naturally.

... now I've confused myself.

[Volthawk]

Specifically, it was said in some "Zombie Survival Guide" that a zombie will literally attack until its muscles disintegrate. See, swinging your arms around will eventually cause nonlethal damage as you tire. But an undead will (or can; he might stop if he's smart) do it until he breaks.

Ah yes, the Zombie Survival Guide. Well, some of it is not so useful, as it puts undead in the context of them being mindless automatons, but some of it is useful. About tirelessness, it has this:

They will continue an act, with the same dynamic energy, until the muscles supporting it literally disintegrate.

[balistafreak]

But then, since you're a Necropolitan, your "muscles" heal naturally?

So I can spend three hundred years doing nothing but move rock and stone?

Libris Mortis says nothing about aging once you become a Necropolitan. The SRD says "If a template changes the base creature’s type, the creature also acquires the augmented subtype unless the template description indicates otherwise. The augmented subtype is always paired with the creature’s original type. Unless a template indicates otherwise, the new creature has the traits of the new type but the features of the original type." So, I'm thinking that while you keep your features of being your original race (Human feat and skill points, Elf-sense, etc.) you gain the traits (undead immunities) of being undead.

Then again, "trait" and "feature" are a bit fuzzy.

However, I think you can become aged first (become Venerable so you can get that natural Wisdom of 19 for 6th level SLAs) before becoming a Necropolitan, and "freeze" yourself in that state. You don't un-age, I would think.

[ArcanistSupreme]

I think the Libris Mortis (or maybe I'm confusing it with the ECS concerning Warforged) says somewhere that an undead creature can't spend more than 8 hours crafting magic items since they lose focus and need to take a break or something. I think Xykon even comments on that here. This would imply that they can't simply read an entire library without realizing that time is going by, but I think this rule is silly.

Concerning the aging thing, what about the stereotypical lich that has been locked in a pyramid/tomb/whatever for several millenniums. Their stat blocks never have them with 0s for Str and Dex, which they should have if they keep accruing aging penalties.

[strider24seven]

Arguably, liches (IMO) should grow better and stronger with age. Like wine and dragons.

[Jack_Simth]

I think the Libris Mortis (or maybe I'm confusing it with the ECS concerning Warforged) says somewhere that an undead creature can't spend more than 8 hours crafting magic items since they lose focus and need to take a break or something. I think Xykon even comments on that here. This would imply that they can't simply read an entire library without realizing that time is going by, but I think this rule is silly.

It's specifically item crafting that's 8 hours a day, actually. No "why" is given... but given that it takes 8.25 to 9 hours to recharge spells, Crafting expends spells, and a "unit" of work takes 8 hours... it makes a sort of sense.

[JoshuaZ]

Arguably, liches (IMO) should grow better and stronger with age. Like wine and dragons.

They do. In Libris Mortis (I hate the name of that book but that's a separate issue) there's a template that intelligent undead have a fixed percentage to gain every 100 years that they live. The template is the "evolved" template and gives undead some bonuses to stats and some minor spell-like abilities. I don't remember the formula for gaining it but it is something like 1% per every hundred years they've been alive or something like that. Indeed, arguably by RAW, this should happen for all undead whether they like it or not.

[Oslecamo]

Arguably, liches (IMO) should grow better and stronger with age. Like wine and dragons.

They do. Just look at Xykon, killing half the stuff he finds! All those dead adventurers should be worth some good exp!

[balistafreak]

They do. Just look at Xykon, killing half the stuff he finds! All those dead adventurers should be worth some good exp!

I don't think its age, so much as the study liches do in their undead time. That's the main cited reason for liches to become liches in the first place - unlimited time to study and gain further power.

Also, while I doing my trawling for awesome spells to take, I tripped over the quintessential damage spell Wings of Flurry. 30ft. radius burst centered on you (freakin' huge!), all your selected targets (not your friends... at least not most of the time ) take (Casterlevel)d6 untyped (aka force) damage, Reflex halves. Fail your save and be dazed the next round, setting yourself up for - guess what - another Wings of Flurry. And again. And again. (Incidentally, being dragonblooded or of the Dragon type gives you +1 caster, although for our spellstitched purposes that might be a bit much to shoehorn in.)

This is simply a great spell to have, period, but its biggest draw is that the damage is uncapped, perfect for our Spellstitched needs.

Are there any other Evocation/Conjuration/Necromacy spells with uncapped numbers?

[Magikeeper]

As it were, I’m playing an old aged spellstiched Necropolitan Illumian (Wiz 1/Archivist 1/ MS 1/MT 3) right now! It’s awesome. As for the corpse crafter feats, you might be better off taking the feats yourself and then convincing the DM to let you transform yourself. Sure, you have to do a number of things after dying [but before coming back as an undead], but there are some creative solutions to that. As both a DM and a player I hate relaying on mighty backstory NPCs giving out free stuff. Why can’t everyone else get free stuff then, eh?

Anyway, we started at level 3 (me at level 1 due to spellstiching), I had Corpsecrafter, Bolster Resistance, and Nimble bones with flaws, and I was a necromancer with the +hp variant. Toss in the slow trait and I get 1d12+7 HP per level. I then started retraining myself into an illusionist with different feats – he had already achieved what he wanted necromancy to give him, after all.
Another Note: 3rd level PC wealth is not enough for the 3000gp cost of the the ritual. If you start at this level I suggest asking your DM to let you take out a loan. Its easy to catch up at lower levels, so change into an undead as soon as possible.

Anyway, my spell choices were:

Spellstiched
1st - Grease x3, Mage Armor x1
2nd - Create Magic Tattoo x1, Wings of Cover x3
3rd - Animate Dead x1, Glowing Orb x1
4th - Dimension Door x1, Delay Death x1
5th - Revivify x1, Revive Undead(Deathbound domain?) x1
6th - Animate Dread Warrior x1

We used group crafting, the transference spell, and a party artificer to mimic any weird spells. I could of had delay death at level 3, but I wanted glowing orb so meh. Transference is important as the XP cost for spellstiching is insane (500xp per point of wis!). You want to hire a an NPC to help you, offer to group craft with him, and then use transference to pay part of the XP cost and pay of the rest at a 5gp:1xp ratio. I think Spellstiching is kind of like a graft, which is why it doesn't have an LA. It has crafting rules! I convinced the entire party to help pay for the spellstiching - what magic item casts revivify once per day??

Reason for spell choices

Revivify – If you reach a player in 1 round you can bring them back from the dead without level loss. If you spellstich raise dead you will rarely be able to take advantage of it since no one likes losing levels. If you spellstich revivify you can safely cast it every day should you need to. Combine it with actual castings of gentle repose and your party might never need to pay for revivals again!

Animate Dread Warrior – Animates a humanoid with 3+ HD as a sentient undead under your control. They get (working from memory) +4 str, -6int, -4 cha. Oh, and they keep their class levels. Also, no limit on how many you can control. Don’t take this without speaking with your DM, but it might be the best 6th level spell choice. [Well, I think everything surrounding Necropolitan is a “speak with your DM” sort of thing.]

Revive Undead – Works on dread warriors. I’m pretty sure it also works on mindless undead.

Wings of Cover – A sorcerer spell you can cast as an immediate action to gain total cover. This block most attacks/spells. A nifty spell to have at all times. Works better if dragonblooded.

Craft Create Magic Tattoo – At higher levels this lets you raise your caster level by 1. That alone is worth spell slot, although it can do other stuff like boost saves and grant bonuses to attacks. Normally costs 100g in materials. Still require a skill rank in a relevant crafting skill.

Delay Death - I noticed that this can be cast on undead. By RAW doing so is pointless, since undead go boom at 0 rather than at -10, but I think you have a good shot at arguing RAI with your DM.

The rest of the spell choices revolved around the fact that I didn’t want to unbalance the party’s offence. Casting high level combat spells at low levels makes people unhappy. (Note: We use the dread warriors for out-of-combat stuff and as a yet-to-be-used reserve squad in combat).

Another great idea: Black Sand from Sandstorm deals 1d4 negative damage a round to any creature in contact with it. Anything it kills turns into black sand. And you can create the first batch of sand with a 2nd level cleric domain spell scroll (The spell-created sand is temporary). It also works for party members who took the Tomb-Tainted soul feat! So I have 1d12+7 HP per level and effective fast healing 1d4. :D

<If anyone is wondering, which is unlikely, about my comments in this and other threads in homebrew, I am both DMing a game and playing in a game right now>

Edit: The racial hit die requirement is not supported by RAW in anyway that I know. Nor do I not know of any proof that it was RAI for half-celestials to not gain spell-like abilities, although I admittedly have not looked for any.

[balistafreak]

Great to see that other people are playing this combination as well! I thought I was the only one.

A few quick questions: I'm aware that MT is Mystic Theurge, but my brain fails me on MS. Elaborate for a poor guy?

You said you/your party crafted yourself, but I'm quite curious as to how you managed to get all those high level spells. Sure, you had an Artificer, but you're only 6th level. Don't tell me you're that far beyond the rest of the party?

I'm aware that Grease is super, super, awesome, but that seems a bit much. A major draw of being Spellstitched is to get spells that you would normally never be able to cast... although as a Mystic Theurge with Archivist, you seem dedicated to ignoring that anyways, so yeah.

I can't find where you're getting Craft Magic Tattoo as a spell. I can only find it as a feat. It seems great, though, and the flavor of it as a Spellstiched spell of its own is pretty cool.

Animate Dread Warrior has no control limit? I thought that any undead you didn't directly control would need a reason to stay under your command - say making them non-mindless and inspiring them to your cause. So yeah... your Dread Warriors seem like they might get a bit bored. Maybe. I dunno. Could you give me a source for it exactly?

I've never been a fan of Revivify - its basically a heal that you can cast a turn late. Close Wounds as a 2nd level spell accomplishes a similiar goal (healing out of normal time), but as an immediate action, with the weakness of not fully stopping death through massive damage. Maybe I'm too strong a proponent of the whole spells-are-quadratic idae, but I'd rather cast several Close Wounds over a few turns (keeping the target's health higher overall to avoid instant death through massive damage) than blow a 5th level spell in the middle of combat. Basically, you might run in and Revivify your friend, but then the next turn your opponent just coup-de-graces him... so yeah. I'd rather blow the offender to pieces first with that 5th level slot and Raise Dead later. Also, Raise Dead can be used outside of your party more often.

But I will cede that Revivify has its own awesome niche, and that I feel better having it on my spell list anyways. There will be times when I wish I had prepared Revivify.

Black Sand simply sounds evil. Heal yourself and kill your foes. Eeeeewww. Your party might be angry with you though... unless they're Tomb-tainted.

And Wings of Cover solves our Disintegrate problem. I like.

I'll make some changes to my list later and move it into the OP; I'm a bit busy right now.

[SethFahad]

Good work balistafr-iend!!! I've only read the necropolitan stuff and I'm...well...happy I'll read the rest now.

Oh, and ever thought off Evolved Undead template? It's a +1 LA template, and you can take it again and again and... again...
And every time you take it you add:
you improve your Nat Armor by one
You gain fast healing 3 (this doesn't stack)
you gain +2str
you gain +2cha
you gain one of the following special attacks as a spell like ability once per day with a CL equal t your HD: circle of death, cloudkill,cone of cold,confusion,contagion,creeping doom, greater invisibility, greater dispel magic,haste,see invisibility, unholy blight.

did I say.."WOW!!!!" ???

[Irreverent Fool]

Revivify – If you reach a player in 1 round you can bring them back from the dead without level loss. If you spellstich raise dead you will rarely be able to take advantage of it since no one likes losing levels. If you spellstich revivify you can safely cast it every day should you need to. Combine it with actual castings of gentle repose and your party might never need to pay for revivals again!

gentle repose works with revivify?

Looking at the spell descriptions, I think that's a stretch, since revivify says it's limited by the soul's departure whereas gentle repose merely preserves the body.

If you get it past your DM though... wow. The revolving door into the afterlife just started spinning faster.

obnoxious
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[SethFahad]

Well I'm done reading, I just need to...digest some things...

oh, and I see you've already mentioned the Evolved Undead. I think it's good trade heck it's free, specially if you are a sorcerer...

[balistafreak]

Can someone tell me what feat lets you get an Animal Companion?

Ya know, because "Heal Animal Companion" (Spell Compendium) is a 3rd level Ranger spell. Now you don't have to feel so bad using it as a trap monkey...

You can also rip people's hearts out with "Heart Ripper", also from the Spell Compendium. It's a 4th level Assassin spell. At Short range, Fortitude save or die, because you just kali-mahed the poor fool. Against those with more HD than you, though, it only stuns them for 1d4 rounds (which might be death anyways, given the average adventuring party) and it obviously has no effect against those without hearts.

Finding awesome spells on secondary caster spell lists is fun!

And I'm really not sure that Gentle Repose and Revivify work that way. Revenance and Revivify do, I think.

If you want to know, Revenance is a 4th level spell (once again from Spell Compendium) that acts as Raise Dead on a friend that has been dead for up to 1 round per level - it doesn't say if level is your caster level or the friend's level, but I think it's the second one. He is raised at half health with no level loss or penalties, and can be healed normally - he is not undead. Amusingly, he gets a +1 to attack rolls, damage, saves, and checks against what killed him. He stays alive for (casterlevel) minutes, upon which he dies again.

Of course, since he probably dies again after the combat is over, that's when you punch him in the face with Revifify. Huzzah!

And I'm pretty sure you can Revenance the poor sod repeatedly, although such a preparation of spells makes me raise an eyebrow. So you were planning for him to die repeatedly?

[Volthawk]

Wild Cohort.

[ArcanistSupreme]

It's specifically item crafting that's 8 hours a day, actually. No "why" is given... but given that it takes 8.25 to 9 hours to recharge spells, Crafting expends spells, and a "unit" of work takes 8 hours... it makes a sort of sense.

But why can't the undead use the remaining time to begin prepping spells again? And what about undead artificers? As time for crating magic items is only relevant from an RP standpoint, what impact does crafting them faster really have on the game? The DM can just speed up the NPCs/plot if it gets to be a problem. I personally feel that the rule is silly.

[balistafreak]

It's really unclear as to exactly what advantages an undead gets in day-to-day activities.

I still want answers on the whole undead focus thing. That, and the running question, because saying that undead can't run seems ridiculous to me.

[olentu]

It's really unclear as to exactly what advantages an undead gets in day-to-day activities.

I still want answers on the whole undead focus thing. That, and the running question, because saying that undead can't run seems ridiculous to me.

That running thing would be rather strange since in the nonabilities section I recall that not having a con score means that one can run for an unlimited period of time unless of course the monster entry says different.

[TheMadLinguist]

gentle repose works with revivify?

Looking at the spell descriptions, I think that's a stretch, since revivify says it's limited by the soul's departure whereas gentle repose merely preserves the body.

If you get it past your DM though... wow. The revolving door into the afterlife just started spinning faster.

obnoxious
sig

There's some spell that lets you temporarily revive people with awful stats (like, single action per round, no class features, something like that) without much cost. Get that, bring someone back to life with it, and cast revivify the round when the duration expires

[Lycanthromancer]

Raise Dead. Forget 5K worth of diamonds, free rezs, here we come! Oh, and this makes raising random corpses you find viable. Get yourself a reptuation of returning people to life or something.

Zombie Jesus, hallelujah!

[Magikeeper]

A few quick questions: I'm aware that MT is Mystic Theurge, but my brain fails me on MS. Elaborate for a poor guy?

Master Specialist (now choosing illusion) Prc from complete mage.

You said you/your party crafted yourself, but I'm quite curious as to how you managed to get all those high level spells. Sure, you had an Artificer, but you're only 6th level. Don't tell me you're that far beyond the rest of the party?

Spellstiching: I don’t know about the spells, the DM lets the artificer use his skillchecks to fake any spell for crafting purposes. I've wondered if he shouldn't be able to fake such high-level spells.. anyway, I’ve never played an artificer myself, my only contribution to his PC was that obscure feat that gives an additional 25% off of a specific crafting type on top of the Eberron one (yay ¼ wondrous item prices! - doesn't help spellstiching though). Granted, we could have just gone to the church of greed we sorta work for and have found a willing NPC, but I dislike getting abilities from powerful NPCs. Whatever NPC ended up paying most of the XP cost was just fine. The artificer can’t make it anymore, but we pretty much demanded to have the dm let us keep sharing exp with the now-npc artificer. He basically lounges around in our base while getting treated like a king.

I can't find where you're getting Craft Magic Tattoo as a spell. I can only find it as a feat. It seems great, though, and the flavor of it as a Spellstiched spell of its own is pretty cool.

Whoops. It is called Create Magic Tattoo. I always get those two names mixed up. It’s in the Spell Compendium. 2nd level spell, 100gp material component, 24hrs, requires a rank in a relevant crafting skill.


Animate Dread Warrior is from Unapproachable East. The only limitation is that your commands beyond .. I think 15 words…. get screwed up. If you wind up with non-stupid dread warriors I would argue that the 15 words is a control limit, not a limit on their understanding. I.E., it limits what you can order them to do in an absolute you-must-obey fashion. That’s really more a flavor thing though, and it is not supported by anything. It just troubled me that we could end up with an int 14+ dread warrior that inexplicably couldn’t handle a 16 word sentence. One more limit – if you die they all go free. Simply ordering them about like minions might result in a revolt when you would rather they help revive you. Personally, we’ve been asking around and making up for the whole killing-them-thing.


Revivify is more awesome if you DM lets gentle repose work with it, which ours does. Also, save for the artificer the entire party has tomb-tainted soul. Close wounds would kill them. Furthermore, my party would prefer being able to come back from any kind of effect that can kill them, not just damage. Finger of Death? Ha! Wail of the Banshee? Ha! Oh-man-why-is-the-dm-using-vorpal-squirrels? Ha! Also, I’m planning this stuff for higher levels. You reach the point where the occasional person simply dies in combat if the DM is really challenging you. And at least myself and the other most active player dislike non-challenging combat.

Black Sand simply sounds evil. Heal yourself and kill your foes. Eeeeewww. Your party might be angry with you though... unless they're Tomb-tainted.

Speaking of Black Sand, we put it on some goats to turn them into real black sand, and then I ate some of it. We're pretty sure the goat sand (and later people sand, we keep feeding stuff to the pile) exist beyond the spell duration. Living party members keep it in their socks, my familiar has a pouch tied to his tail (psychic reformation for tomb-tainted soul). The entire party basically has fast healing 1d4. One day we hope to animate the sand, as it is kinda becoming our shtick.

[balistafreak]

There's some spell that lets you temporarily revive people with awful stats (like, single action per round, no class features, something like that) without much cost. Get that, bring someone back to life with it, and cast revivify the round when the duration expires

It's not awful stats, although it is a bit high level. (Not as high as Raise Dead, though.) It's Revenance, a 4th level spell. It lets you temporarily rez a party member at half-health, who also gets bonuses against the thing(s) that killed him. The party member could have been dead for up to 1 round per caster level, so its basically a Revivify enabler.

... I think I've discussed this before already.

[TheMadLinguist]

I might have been thinking of a different spell, but whatever.

[balistafreak]

That running thing would be rather strange since in the nonabilities section I recall that not having a con score means that one can run for an unlimited period of time unless of course the monster entry says different.

Haha, I found it!

To quote the SRD:

"Constitution
Any living creature has at least 1 point of Constitution. A creature with no Constitution has no body or no metabolism. It is immune to any effect that requires a Fortitude save unless the effect works on objects or is harmless. The creature is also immune to ability damage, ability drain, and energy drain, and automatically fails Constitution checks. A creature with no Constitution cannot tire and thus can run indefinitely without tiring (unless the creature’s description says it cannot run). "

[PlzBreakMyCmpAn]

Good work even if verbose. Don't care for the discussion, just wondering if this post in here of mine gave you the inspiriation (since everyone knows all permanent undead should be spellstitched)

[balistafreak]

I just took a look at the "Stigmata" feat from the Book of Exalted Deeds (pg 46). Although it requires the pretty terrible feat of Nimbus of Light, this feat lets you take Constitution damage to heal your allies.

*crickets*

You are immune to Constitution damage.

I'm pretty sure this is NOT how the feat was intended to be used, but please tell me that there's no rule saying I can't take the feat anyways.

And in retrospect, the Nimbus of Light will let you walk around without getting the peasants to kill you, because you're freakin' walking around with a literal halo around your head.

... combine with spellstitching Raise Dead to truly make Zombie Jesus.

"I died for your sins, but I got bored, so now I'm undying for them as well."