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  1. - Top - End - #181

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWyrmGold View Post
    ...Who's Parson?

    Y-you're kidding, r-right?! Parson is the main character and protagonist in Erfworld!
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  2. - Top - End - #182
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    The Hydra and Inkyrius with True Love.


    The Hydra's a playa now?

  3. - Top - End - #183
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    The Hydra and Inkyrius with True Love.


    The Hydra's a playa now?

    Write it, write it, write it, write it, write it, write it...
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  4. - Top - End - #184
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    The Hydra and Inkyrius with True Love.


    The Hydra's a playa now?
    Never see "playa" again.
    Last edited by Bibliomancer; 2009-07-09 at 04:57 PM.
    In Dungeons and Dragons, racism is frowned upon, unless you're playing an elf. Then it's an interesting character trait.

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  5. - Top - End - #185
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Bibliomancer View Post
    Nah, it's just Elan that's not allowed to say "playa".

    The rest of us can say playa as much as we like. For instance, I've said playa twice already, not counting this sentence, and if you did I would have said play- *sklrkt*

    That goes for all of you.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-09 at 05:01 PM.
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  6. - Top - End - #186
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    You- you can just end it there!

    Moar!!!
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  7. - Top - End - #187
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    And then????
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  8. - Top - End - #188
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Will V get smited or will Miko get smitten?

    How will Roy react to the elf stealing his romantic interest?

    What romance advice can Haley give, and will she want to given her dislike of Miko?

    What snarky comments will Belkar make?

    And will Miko finally get some treasure type O?

    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  9. - Top - End - #189
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Point of criticism - V giving in to sudden lust and kissing someone without being able to control himself is highly out of character. It would work with more abnormal circumstances, like if Belkar had slipped an aphrodisiac into V's morning tea as a prank, but the way it is now? Sorry, too blatantly screaming THIS IS A FANFIC AND NOT THE REAL VAARSUVIUS! for me.
    Otherwise, though, highly amusing. :P
    Oh gods, I actually read it, didn't I??? O.O
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  10. - Top - End - #190
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    It would work with more abnormal circumstances, like if Belkar had slipped an aphrodisiac into V's morning tea as a prank
    As far as I'm concerned, that is what happened and we just haven't found out about it yet.

    Otherwise, that would make for a funny, if not potentially disturbing story. Get writing everyone! *cracks whip*

    Maybe we should start a round robin.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-11 at 06:28 AM.
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  11. - Top - End - #191
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    It's not supposed to make sense. I wrote this as it came to me and I perfectly know it's out of character. Most of the humor comes from this fact.

    And aphrodisiac will now be the official explanation.

    "Okay, who put aphrodisiac in V's tea?"
    "It wasn't me but I'd have done it if I knew the paladin'd come. Score!"
    "I found it in the dragon's cave and I figured Vaarsuvius would like it since it's a big, complicated word."
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-07-11 at 10:54 AM.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  12. - Top - End - #192
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I got Xykon and Julio Scoundrel. A bit boring, but I've had enough stupid ones.

    Julio Scoundrel shook his head, irritation clear on his face. He'd been doing the whole dashing hero thing now for, what, call it twenty years. Twenty five at the most, and had a good idea of how these sort of things were supposed to work out. You sneak in past the easily duped guards, defeat a bumbling lieutenant in swordplay, find the attractive girl locked up, rescue her, foil whatever dastardly plan the evil overlord was a-planning and the fly into the sunset.

    Mind you, the first part had worked like a charm. The he'd left the guards unconscious and snuck into the tower, only to watch it all go down hill from there. The lieutenant (that he'd initially taken as a generic goblin) had spotted him right away and given as good as he got, and by the time he staggered to the room where the girl he had planned to rescue stayed he had found that not only was she attracted to her employer, but she was a career girl quite happy where she was. He'd tried to leave but the bloody goblin had come back and knocked him cold.

    When he awoke he felt his shoulders burning as the chains pulled them back up the wall, and his feet were manacled together. Standing in front of him was a tall skeleton in a blue robe, with a tattered red cape and a badass crown at a jaunt angle.

    "You know what gets under my skin? Metaphorically of course." The lich began, his unsettlingly deep voice managing to sound sarcastic and menacing all at once. "Want to be hero types like you who think they can just come in here and steal stuff." Julio opened his mouth, but the lich hit him with a hand like a bagful of dice, bruising his jaw. Ah. It was gong to be one of those sort of questionings.

    "Really I don't care why. You probably think you have a good reason, not that I care. But the crux of the matter is you screwed up, and now i get to hurt you. Redcloak says I should just kill you, and hey, he's probably right, but who's to argue? I want to have fun, and that's the end of it." Reaching forward he took Julio's chin and forcibly tilted it to meet his eye sockets. "Nice face though. Be a shame to ruin it. Unless..." He trailed off, as though the idea had only just occurred to him, but Julio was already shaking his head."

    "Sorry you sick freak, but I don't swing that way."

    To his surprise the lich chuckled softly, his laughter lacking timbre or volume. "lack of flesh a problem to you pretty boy?" he sneered, then laughed again as Julio gaped. Xykon again looked exactly as he had before he became undead. Julio was considered by many to be the epitome of male attractiveness, but Xykon was attractive in a way only an epic level scorceror with maxed out charisma could be. He had high cheekbones, a face like a statue of a roman god and even the crows feet at the corners of his eyes looked intentional, the perfect addition to his perfect face. The robe didn't do much for his figure, but Xykon could have dressed in an old pile of sheets and still oozed masculinity. Julio felt his mouth go dry.

    "So, ready to have some fun?" Xykon asked, his lips inches away from Julio's, "Or do you prefer to take it slow..."
    Nadir We,
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    Victors Still.

  13. - Top - End - #193
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I like it! I loved the comment about how things usually go for Julio Scoundrel and how they didn't go as planned.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  14. - Top - End - #194
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    "Okay, who put aphrodisiac in V's tea?"
    "It wasn't me but I'd have done it if I knew the paladin'd come. Score!"
    "I found it in the dragon's cave and I figured Vaarsuvius would like it since it's a big, complicated word."
    What's funniest is that the dragon had it in the first place.

    And Xykon/Julio is not as disturbing as it should be.
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  15. - Top - End - #195
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    What's funniest is that the dragon had it in the first place.
    Well, that pretty green dragon just won't put out...
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  16. - Top - End - #196
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Well, that pretty green dragon just won't put out...
    Exactly .
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  17. - Top - End - #197
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Edit: I got Miko X gender flipped Miko. >_<
    Last edited by Milskidasith; 2009-07-11 at 01:10 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #198
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Milskidasith View Post
    Edit: I got Miko X gender flipped Miko. >_<
    So that's how they get around having to draft a paladin into that duty.
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  19. - Top - End - #199
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    eek Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post

    Write it, write it, write it, write it, write it, write it...
    I'm not very good with crack pairing writing considering they're not my characters...

    EDIT:

    4, 9, 20, 18, 16, 4, 13


    In other words,

    Entrie Hobgoblin army with Mrs. Scruffy (AKA G/Switched Mr. Scruffy), G/Switched Roy's Archon, and G/Switched Roy Flesh Golem.
    Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-07-11 at 01:58 PM.

  20. - Top - End - #200
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Well, that pretty green dragon just won't put out...
    Maybe she gave it to him for when she was gone?
    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

    When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.

    Starving the trolls since 2004

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  21. - Top - End - #201
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnivorous M. View Post
    Maybe she gave it to him for when she was gone?
    I don't really see the logic in that.
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  22. - Top - End - #202
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I don't really see the logic in that.
    Wait... gah, sorry; I needed sleep. And coffee. Coffee part's fixed, but I still need sleep.
    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

    When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.

    Starving the trolls since 2004

    Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.

    Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)

  23. - Top - End - #203
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnivorous M. View Post
    Wait... gah, sorry; I needed sleep. And coffee. Coffee part's fixed, but I still need sleep.
    Sugar and caffine can be used as a subtitute!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  24. - Top - End - #204
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Sleep is for the weak! It gives you cancer you know.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  25. - Top - End - #205
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Sleep is for the weak! It gives you cancer you know.
    So does mitosis.

    Which begs the question of whether something with a supernatural healing ability would be able to cure itself of cancer ...

    We're getting off topic people! We need more fanfic!



    Someone suggest me a pairing to write!
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-11 at 05:08 PM.
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  26. - Top - End - #206
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Eugene and that girl with the weird name in SoD (you know, Xykon's old squeeze/rival).
    Nadir We,
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    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  27. - Top - End - #207
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Eugene and that girl with the weird name in SoD (you know, Xykon's old squeeze/rival).
    Yydonna or something like that.

    EDIT: Looked it up it's Yydranna
    Last edited by The Blackbird; 2009-07-11 at 05:15 PM.
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  28. - Top - End - #208
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Eugene and that girl with the weird name in SoD (you know, Xykon's old squeeze/rival).
    Sorry, I haven't read SOD.
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  29. - Top - End - #209
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Someone suggest me a pairing to write!
    How about something semi-plausible for a change? :P

    Like... *rolls* Um, Vaarsuvius x gender-flipped Durkon?

    I'm just telling you, the brain damage might be bigger if it actually sounds somewhat plausible. Think of the opportunities!
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  30. - Top - End - #210
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    I'm just telling you, the brain damage might be bigger if it actually sounds somewhat plausible.
    This is exactly what I've been saying all along!

    Possibly also why people have such a strong reaction to my avatar...
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