Rutskarn's Roly-Poly Rebellious and Rejected Random Banter #110

[Rutskarn]

Welcome to Random Banter

Only the fit will survive.

Here are the rules. Guard them as you would your own child.

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1. Spam. For the purposes of RB, one word posts are generally considered spam. Likewise, posts that are nothing but *actions like this* are also be considered spam. Remember that the quality of the post's content is much better than the speed of your response.

2. This isn't the Play by Post or Town forum, nor is it the Silly Message Board Games or Structured Games forum. Please avoid continuous roleplay or mock battles and fights such as the "competition for control of the universe".

3. If it's already a thread, don't bring it to RB. RB has such a huge range of subject matter even restricted to the little snippets that probably don't warrant their own thread, it doesn't need legitimate thread topics cluttering it up as well. The exception to this is to bring something that is off-topic from one thread, but on-topic for RB and the subject doesn't warrant a thread of its own.

4. Don't advertise other threads in RB. Just because these new threads move at speeds more appropriate to a message board than an IM session doesn't mean you need to come over to RB and brow beat people into posting in your latest brainchild.

5. Please don't post single line posts alerting us to your current status -- as in "I'm back." This is Random Banter, not "How to stalk Random GitP forum members."

6. Don't poke, kick or bump the thread. It will move at whatever pace it wants to. Also, please refrain from Captain Obvious comments akin to "My, the thread is fast today."

7. Random Banter can only be as good, or as entertaining, as you make it. Demands to be entertained will fall on deaf ears unless you can add something more meaningful to the conversation.

8. As this is a public forum, where the current topic is nicely recorded for you, and not a conversation where you could have missed the beginning, please refrain from asking something to the effect of "What's the topic?". Please take the time to read up a bit first.

9. Thread Creator must include the words "Random" and "Banter" as well as the thread #. Try to be concise as well.

10. Every post should contain two visible, legible complete sentences, Subject and Predicate. C'mon, make your old English teachers proud.

11. Remember, Random Banter is not your IM client. If you want to have a back and forth discussion with just one person, look in their contact information for IM details.

12. Whenever a new thread is created, all "first post", "first page", and all posts of that nature will be deleted by the administrators. Please avoid doing this, as it is frustrating for them to deal with one-lined posts like this.

Break these rules, and we will break you.

Previous Threads:

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Amotis' Random Banter #1
Dhavaer's Random Banter #2
PhoeKun's Random Banter #3
Rei Jin's Random Banter #4
Toxic Avenger's Random Banter #5
Jibar's Random Banter #6
Ego Slayer's Surrogate Random Banter #7
Sneak's Random Barroom Brawl #8
Sophistemon's Solemnly Random Banter #9
Vaynor's Very Random Banter #10
Bookman's Blathering Random Banter #11
Gralamin's Glorious Random Banter #12
Rilik's Resplendently Random Raillery #13
Gezina's Growling Grazing Random Banter #14
The Zerglings Utterly And Geeky Random Banter #15
jaqueses Truthfully Randomly Fireside Banter # 16
Jack Squat’s Jubilantly Quixotic Random Banter #17
Cardel's Banter of Cookie Jubilation #18
Archonic's Chaotically Random Banter of Rods #19
The Rod's Inanimate Temple of RANDOM banter #20
Lucky’s Loquaciously Loud-Mouthed Random Banter#21
Deckmaster's Divinely Delightful Random Banter #22
Saithis' Soliloquy of Random Banter #23
Loveable Lianae's Ludicrous Lampooning Lottery #24
NEO|Phyte's Neolithic Nest of Weasel Banter #25
Target's Random Banter of "non-violence" #26
Tarnag40k's Random banter of "grammar errors" #27
Kyrian's Random Banter of ADHDness #28
El Jaspero's Random Drunken Ramblings #29
Boss Smiley's Eloquently Eggy Banter #30
Lykan's Looney Explosionarama & Random Banter #31
Iames's Iambic Yarn of Yammering #32
Dispozition's Deviously Distressed Banter #33
CP's Copiously Combusting Banter of Carnage #34
Alarra's Altar of Random Banter #35
Eloquent Rune's Electrifying Rambling Banter #36
E_P's Very Own Quite Popular Random Banter #37
Hydrogelic's Foolish Mortal Random Banter #38
Ink's Smudgy Splotchy Random Banter #39
Azrael's Big Black Book of Banter #40
The Logic Vampire's Rational Random Banter #41
Shiny's Shimmering Space-hitchin Random Banter #42
ZombieRockStar's Random Banter #43
Nostrabel's Realm of Cookies and Random Banter #44
Charity's Cheery Chatter Circle #45
Samiam's Spontaneous Scintillating Soliloquy #46
LLama's Masked Mysterious Random Banter #47
Ravishing Rydia's Recumbentibus ^_^ Random Banter #48
Penguinizers Perilous Random Banter #49
Death's delightfully morbid surrogate random banter #50
Wayril's wonderfully weird surrogate random banter #51
Rawhide's Deck of Random Banter (52 Cards)
Korith's Sorrogate Random Banter of Zombie Killing #53
Surrogate thread of random Bor-dom #54
Rex Idiotarum's Painfully Pogoing Thread #55
The Wrath of KHAAAAAANtalas’s William Shatner Flavored Random Banter # 56 (Surrogate)
EmeraldRose's Random Banter of Lashing Wit #57
Captain van der Decken's Surrogate Ship of Random Loot (Banter) #58
SDF's Neverending I-Don't-Have-an-OotS-Avatar-Yet Story Banter #59
Mauril's Surrogate Dwelf Banter of Fantasy Race Confusion 60th Edition
Rockphed's Dice Rolling Toga Party of 61 Drunken CIA Analysts
var Lord_Magtok = Random(Banter*62) + Surrogate
Jibar's Retro Random Banter #63
Malina's Random Spanish Banter #64 of morphical annoyance
Mr. E's Random Banter #65 of Cane Toting and Hat Tipping
Ego Slayer's Hellishly Random Banter #66.6
Purple Gelatinous Cube o' Doom's bowl of bantery j-e-ll-o randomness #67
Zephra's Random Banter of Ghostly Wailings, and Howling Fun#68
Cobra Ikari's Random Banter #69 of Rampant Hugging, Guttermindedness, and ;-) Kinky.
Scorpina's Random Banter #70
Raistlin1040's Super Special Awesome Random Banter #71(Now with 20% more tacos)
Uberblah's Random Banter #72 Of Caffeine And Sleep Deprivation Induced Randomness
Lucky’s Random Banter #73
Castaras's Random Banter #74
D'anna Biers RB #75
Zeb The Troll's RB#76
Egdpollard's RB #77
Gezina's and Calamity's Random banter #78 of double entendre and doom
Random Banter #79 In Loving Memory of Hexa_Regina
Zeratul's random banter #80 of throwing puppies off bridges
Vespe's Random Banter #81 of singing dolphins and mostly harmless planets.
CSK's Giant in the Playground Forums Addicted Anonymous, Random Banter #82
Iames's Ramblingly Erratic Belldandy-Charged Random Banter #83
Serpentine's Scintillating Sensually and Sinuously Seductive Stochastic Satire #84
Radikalskippy's Random Banter #85 of lost ideas and where to find them...
Moon Called's Random Banter #86 of Sexy Anime Boys and Fangirl Squeals
Lilly's Lovely Random Banter #87
FdL's Fuzzbox-Fueled Random Banter #88
SweetRein's Sugary Restrained Random Banter #89
Midnight's Mutant Motorcycle Madness Random Banter #90
Em's Extremely Extraordinarily Epic Random Banter #91
Dragonrider's Random Banter in Conjunction with the Weighted Cube #92
Bushranger's Bodaciously Buffed Random Banter-y Rooster #93
Haruki's Historically Hilarious Honey-covered Random Banter #94
North's Maple Syrup Flavored Non-Alliterative Random Banter #95 Eh?
Wadledo's Weirdly Warbling Watercress Watching Washing Machine Only Random Banter #96
SMEE's Random Banter #97 of gender bending and closet bursting
Raiser's Rambunctiously Rambling Random Banter #98
Dr. Bath's Random Banter, dripping with daring deeds of dastardly deipnosophists #99
VOTE, the Democracy Demon's Devilishly Devious and Decidedly Diabolical Desultory Derision (Random Banter) #100
Jack Squat's Justlessly Juxtaposed Random Banter #101
Dallas-Dakota's Dundering Dandelion's Devilish Damsel's Distress Random Banter #102
Destro Yersul's Dangerously Distracting and Doubtlessly Disturbing Random Banter #103
Aziraphiles Actually Alliterative and Awesomely Affluent Random Banter #104
Cristo's Consistently Confusing and Constantly Casual Random Banter #105
Dish's Delightfully Deranged and Deliciously Deliquent Random Banter # 106
Slayer's Seemingly Sweet and Socially Silly Random Banter # 107
Zero's ambrosial and aberrantly adventitious, abstemiously erudite Random Banter #108

Coplantor's Completely Creative Cautious and Contemplative Random Banter #109

This thread is for random discussion, not random chit chat. That is to say, this is a forum, not your IM client. People have set up an unofficial IRC chat thingy for that sort of thing. Not only will you not annoy the people here, you will also help increase the popularity of the IRC chat.

Now let's get bantering.

Our last topic was: actually, it was pretty much just spitting out random song lyrics. Scrap that, start over.

[Player_Zero]

You changed the first post! You 'orrible oik!

I suggest the topic of heffalumps and woozles. They're very confoozle.

A heffalump or woozle's very sly SLY sly. If honey's what you covet you'll find that they love it. Before your eyes they'll multiPLY ply ply...

[CurlyKitGirl]

*blinks*
All the links are gone. All of 'em!

Also:

*BOOGIE!*

This thread has been blessed.
*flees Jibbers*

And I commiserate on the homework thing. Not a jot done, two days to do it. It is Friday today right?

[Dallas-Dakota]

Hey, didn't FDL claim this one? Claim-breaker! Claim breaker!

And you're a horrible person for removing the links to all the previous RB's!

And Curly, that last sentence is totally seconded. *has a book report he hasn't done anything on yet due by the friday before christmas holidays*

[Fredthefighter]

Did he? Does it really matter, its just a start, we should look towards the future, not back at the past.
I have to go now, see you all tomorrow.

[Jibar]

A *BOOGIE* for tradition, and errr, Rutskarn, you got no links going on in there. You fixed that.

Also: something I'm working. Not finished, so it isn't going in the Arts and Crafts forum yet.

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'Is she alright?'
'She's going to be fine sir. Just wait here.'
'Can I see her?'
'Wait here. Her family are with her right now, and we can let you in after they're gone.'
'How is she?'
'Unconscious still. But she's going to be fine. Now please wait sir.'
The nurse turned and exited down the hallway. Doctors walked past and patients were guided along. Trays filled with fragile looking instruments passed and a cleaner absent mindedly dragged a mop behind. Seconds felt like days and he could feel the place closing in around him, the conflicting emotions battling inside his mind, the ticking of his watch sounding like a death knell.
He counted the number of tiles on the ceiling, one hundred and twelve. He noted the crack in one tile conviently located upon the sixtieth tile. He noted that there was a different number of rooms on one side to the other, suggesting that one sides rooms must be smaller. The gleaming white walls made him wish for some hint of flavour, something different amidst the cold sterility of his environment.
To his right was a plant, green with broad leaves, and the sole other stationary life in the hall. Placed in such an environment it seemed oddly artificial and he sarted to wonder if it was nothing more than a clever ruse to make people believe that life could flourish. He wondered how many times the plant had had to be replaced after it unexpectedly died or lost its freshness and infected the atmosphere of enforced hope that all hospitals bore. He wondered how it could live under the harsh hallway lights.
A door to one of the bigger rooms down the hall opened. A nurse led some people out and closed it behind her. He recognise the people as her family even if they were not familiar to him. They looked melancholy, naturally sad and with a hint of hope about them but otherwise resigned. The mother was wiping tears from her cheeks and the sister held her hand firmly. The father had his arm wrapped around his wife and looked grave. They walked past him and he smiled out of politeness, not imaging for one second that they recognised him as their daughters friend.
It was strange. He felt empty. There were no tears or feelings of sadness. Nor did he feel hopeful or expectant either. His insides just felt dead, as if all bodily functions had stopped working and were waiting for something. His body shook uncontrollably and there was a pause before everything he spoke since the accident as he tried to find speech again. His mind raced with thousands of possibilities of what could be within the room and how he would react. Would he enter to find her cold and still only to find she died without anyone noticing? Or would he enter to find her softly sleeping until she awakes in his arms and they embrace fiercly.
'You can see her now. She's under sedation so she won't be able to speak.' The nurse was in front of him. Her face seemed kind, well suited to the job.
There. The pause. 'Thank you.' He stood, internally shouting at himself for letting that pause happen again. The nurse led him in and closed the door behind him, off certainly to tend to her other patients.
The room was dimly lit by a beside lamp and what light made it through the curtains. The equipment beside her hummed gently and the bed itself looked so large. She lay in the middle, framed by steel bars to keep her in. She looked so small, so fragile. It was hard to believe that this was the girl

A wonderful reflection of my current mood.

[Dragonrider]

*whines*

Ru-ust! You didn't link to the previous RBs!

All it takes is a little "quote" and a "copy+paste" of the code...

[Rutskarn]

I fixed it! I fixed it!

Same team! Same team!

[Dragonrider]

I fixed it! I fixed it!

Same team! Same team!

All is forgiven.

Especially since you're on my side about Angel.

[Mr. Mud]

Ruts! Big silly, you made thread on 5:31 EST. That means you don't care about time, because everyone knows that 531 is the evilest of evils!

I want the random banter, after the next!

[Player_Zero]

I fixed it! I fixed it!

Same team! Same team!

Add the link to the last thread.

[Rutskarn]

Aha! Well spotted, PZ. I did that just to test you, of course.

Right.

Hey, Jibar, you might want to think about contributing to the round-robin storytelling thread. Nobody's called next yet, and we could use your touch.

[Dragonrider]

Add the link to the last thread.

He already did. Sucka.


Stupid 60-second wait between posts...I LIKE bouncing between threads rapid-fire.

Though I suppose I SHOULD make my posts longer.
Longer.
Longer.
Longer?
Done.

[Dallas-Dakota]

DR, completely agree about that silly 60 second post wait.

And Jibar, time for your third thread!

[Jibar]

Hey, Jibar, you might want to think about contributing to the round-robin storytelling thread. Nobody's called next yet, and we could use your touch.

I have this terrible fear my friend. A terrible phobia that grips me and binds me and consumes my mind whenever faced with this singular object, this one thing that causes more hurt to me than any of the Gods could dream.
It's called a deadline. My philosophy teachers could speak such wonders of when I've handed stuff in.

And Jibar, time for your third thread!

5 more threads yet DD.
Hehe. DD. 'Cos I'm mature.

[Mr. Mud]

I think people missed this in last thread, so...

God, I've been interwebz-ing all day, and I haven't lifted yet. I feel all dirty inside when I don't lift... I actually feel guilty that I've been online for hours... this is the first time that ever happened .

Ruts make the new thread already! . I'm gonna angle for second post, but I'm getting the entire playgrounds' 'New Comic' lag right now... .

[Allysian]

Lift as in, weight lifting? You feel bad about not weight lifting? Das a little strange.
Waaah! Winter break is almost over!!!! *sniffle*

[Mr. Mud]

Lift as in, weight lifting? You feel bad about not weight lifting? Das a little strange.
Waaah! Winter break is almost over!!!! *sniffle*

A little strange yes. But If I wasn't would I be in random banter? .

Its not so much as not lifting, its just breaking my workout routine/offseason fitness plan et cetera... and I hate doing that. It's like Fitness Guru's OCD .

[Dragonrider]

People who exercise often feel bad when they go a day without doing so.

My mom and I ran in the snow this morning. It was kind of fun...but cold.

[Neko Toast]

*breathes in the fresh scent* I love the smell of new thread in the evening. Smells like victory.

[Cristo Meyers]

*breathes in the fresh scent* I love the smell of new thread in the evening. Smells like victory.

Ah, sorry, that's the bat guano...

*grabs a mop*

[Rutskarn]

No wait, that's napa--

[Dragonrider]

-lm??

Or just the ingredients for it?

[Recaiden]

Nooo! Rutskarn is flamable! Who left that here? And can I call thread 117?

[Cristo Meyers]

-lm??

Or just the ingredients for it?

Got that too.

Just call me Mr. Gummer...

[CurlyKitGirl]

Ah, sorry, that's the bat guano...

*grabs a mop*

Cristoooo, remember that fanon that we decided lurked between between you and Tooby?
And the ensuing discussion from the last thread? 'Tis been made real. With fics!

DeeRee, me and you have got to stop thinking on the same wave length.

[Cristo Meyers]

whoooo boy...

I'm not sure I'm ready for this...

[Dragonrider]

Yeah, I need to go retcon to make them not brothers...

Edit: done and done. Though mine contains no romantic undertone

At least...it wasn't meant to...but I suppose it might....

[Rutskarn]

Yeah, I need to go retcon to make them not brothers...

Bah! That is shipping at its weakest.

You seem to have forgotten that this is the internet. Good taste and not squicking out readers means NOTHING!

Do not, under any circumstances, take this seriously. Or I will not be responsible for the consequences.

[Dragonrider]

Bah! That is shipping at its weakest.

You seem to have forgotten that this is the internet. Good taste and not squicking out readers means NOTHING!

Do not, under any circumstances, take this seriously. Or I will not be responsible for the consequences.

and



Incest is against human nature. But, then...maybe so is the internet...