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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    So is the field - and the Order's HQ - at Aandy's tower?
    No, far away. This is far south--a travel away from Azure City/Gobbotopia. Both Inkyrius and Aarindarius moved away from their homes because of the memories. Inkyrius and the kids couldn't keep remembering the dragon attack and subsequent divorce, and Aarindarius couldn't live somewhere so full of Vaarsuvius when he had to focus on the present, on Tiasal. Aarindarius and the Order moved to a field protected by a forest on one side, and mountains on the other. Nice and isolated.

    It's hard to come up with ideas when I don't know what they've been getting up to.

    I would be nice to get a look into Inky's point of view of... well, everything. Maybe it could start with some sort of argument between Inky, 'Tavi and Teren (I'm making those nick-names up on the spot) regarding Tia having been taken away by team Evil.
    Hmmm... Maybe...

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  2. - Top - End - #92
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    icastflare!'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Is that MiTDxGender-Switched MiTD?
    I think it is.I am actually interested in that.
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  3. - Top - End - #93
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Did no one like my "Thread Archive" Idea?
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

    *Avatar by Me*

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Miko's Heart Part 9 - updated

    As with part 6, here is the update to part 9, including the pre-FAQ:

    Pre-FAQ:
    Okay, I've left a lot of clues, but for Part 9 I've done a pre-emptive Q&A to clear some stuff up for the inevitable confusion:
    Spoiler
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    Q1) What does Kubota mean when he says "past resource"?
    A1) Qarr.

    Q1b) Qarr?! Why doesn't Miko catch on? Why would the IFCC let him do that?
    A1b) Yes, Qarr. Miko knows nothing of Qarr's past deeds, or Kubota's assosciation with fiends. After all, if she had proof of that, Kubota would be dead. The IFCC let him have this personal message for a few reasons: they've already stated more conflict is their goal, this would bring about less Good no matter what happens, they don't give a whit whether Kubota dies (to them, he's replacable), and this shakes up Miko's little reassurance trip. Evil is great at the not lying but still decieving bit.

    Q2) Okay, fine. So why is Miko clearing buying Kubota hook, line, and sinker? Assume he forged or had forged the documents? Etc. in vein of 'Miko's smarter'.
    A2) Miko has been subjected to multiple stat-draining poisons 'on panel', likely more 'off-panel', and I left plenty of clues for the love [or at least arousal] potion plot device. Just because your Int/Wis scores take a hit doesn't mean your thought process stops (I've dealt with depression, boy do I know). It leads you down lots of false roads! So by making very plausible conjecture to Miko (and she DOES see how it benefits Kubota) that it's what she wants too, she's in a conundrum.

    Q3) You cliff-hanging bastard, you had to stop right there?
    A3) Not technically a question. I have to keep things board rated, for one, and for two you won't know how much more is allowed to go on until the next installment, which will clear that up. So your imagination is not my fault until then



    And the actual Part 9 - updated:
    Spoiler
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    The dawn seems somehow hopeful, and I do not rise feeling cold or particularly troubled. I know that I can move forward now, although I take time not to think too hard about the path itself. Renewing my journey is easy, but the wondrous morning only lasts so long. Once more I have the sense of eyes watching me, different than before. I know that I am being watched by something that is not from Outside, but from home. In fact, I am reminded disturbingly of the throne room in Azure City, and of certain travels throughout the city proper.

    I ensure that my blades are free to be drawn, and not a moment too soon! I recognize well the garb of hired assassins, having had the pleasure of purging their stain from this world more than once. Luck alone allows me to be free of my steed before it is taken to the ground by darts intended for my person, undoubtedly poisoned. I pray to the Twelve, even knowing how fleeting my prayers are to their ears now that I am no longer their blessed agent. I shout my defiance to the sun himself as I charge these honorless dogs!

    Without the Twelve guiding my hand and my soul, the darts of these dogs still pierce my skin. I hardly notice at first, chasing down one and hamstringing another with swift strikes. Cowards that they are, the remainder waste no time in moving. Even as I try to focus on one and bring him to the ground they leap about and continue to peg me with their annoying…darts…of course…poison. My body falls to its knees despite my will to fight, and it takes all that I am to keep breathing steadily as the Coward’s Weapon courses through me. There must be something…I can do…must be…must…be… …

    -----------------------------------------------

    I awake without any sense of the time. I am in a room that is dimly lit and somewhat stuffy, bound by ropes without my armor. I can see somewhat through the tangled mass of my hair, but it is hard to understand what I am seeing. A voice breaks the confusion, one of cold confidence I know too well, “Ah, you are awake at last. For a moment I feared I would need to waste some restorative magic on you, and with everything going to relieving the population Hinjo might have pesky questions about my use of resources.”

    I spit at the boots of this honorless dog, unable to raise my head enough to aim where he deserves, “Kubota. What in the name of the Twelve are you playing at?”

    His arched eyebrow says volumes even as he elaborates, “An old resource of mine mentioned you had been brought back to the land of the living. I thought that finally I had found a warrior who could best Hinjo! My retrieval squad paid dearly for your capture, but no more than I have already paid thrice over to be thwarted by those blasted foreigners.”

    I cannot hide my confusion, “You believe I would slay Hinjo for you?”

    Kubota’s smile is as slimy as the serpent he truly is, “Of course not, my dear, I know you would never work for me. I have no intention of hiring you for anything. I just thought you might like to get back at those who have wronged you so.”

    I blow my hair to the side, struggling to move my limbs as I question, “I do not understand…Shojo is dead. The city is gone.”

    Kubota takes on a fatherly air, and even I cannot help but feel the effects of it, “Ah, my dear, if only it were that simple. I have heard witnesses tell of what transpired in that fateful room. Shojo was a cunning old schemer; did you really think his corruption ended with him?”

    Anger rises as feeling and strength return to me. I am hogtied! On some geisha’s bed! I scowl as best I can, “I know my error now, dog. Hinjo will lead our people over your deceptions, honorably, into new life.”

    Kubota’s laugh is harsh, his words direct, “Such naiveté still. And what on earth makes you believe Hinjo is any better than his uncle? He was as much a part of his uncle’s plans as the Order of the Stick. You do know that he is still trying to lead an assault against the lich since their initial plot failed to exterminate us all? That he works with the Order to lead us back against an entrenched multitude of goblins and undead, when we could easily settle and rebuild our lives unmolested elsewhere? His poor decisions and leadership have led to numerous ships of innocent civilians to be lost to assaults. Only led to more attacks on our survivors.”

    I rage against him, “You lie! Hinjo would never do such a thing! He would make port and rebuild as soon as possible, to rebuild a full military expedition and reclaim our home!”

    Kubota pushed a small table full of tactical charts and maps up beneath my nose. They were in Hinjo’s hand! His notes about all I had been unable to be there for…and Kubota used them to back his claim, “See for yourself, woman. This chronicles our journey since we left our port. Notice our circuitous route. How long we spend in dangerous waters and near enemy shores. His own notes on our losses. He has stubbornly resisted all attempts at reason, promoted commoners to the nobility to undermine our traditions, and consolidates power just like his uncle.”

    I shake my head, trying to deny the proof before my eyes. Was all of that talk with Hinjo falsehood? Was I sent to his uncle after just to muddle my mind? That would mean even if handsome Roy didn’t know that he had been manipulated! I know not which I would have preferred, for either scorches my heart. I whisper through hot tears, “If there is a clearly better way, then he must follow it or abdicate. For the good of our people! How can this be true? HOW?!”

    Kubota’s smile is dark, and his hair falls about him like a perfect curtain to match his silken robe. He caresses my cheek and a shiver runs through me. A shiver that makes me conscious of wearing less cloth than even Shojo’s dirty mind gave me! And bound so! Yet I cannot find objection to his touch, I cannot but think of his caressing me further…Twelve, this is not right. My attraction to Matsumo and others is my own, but this is not! And I am helpless before its pull. I cry out, “What do you want?!”

    Kubota is commiserating, “My dear, I want only to help you. To enjoy your beauty, and all the more as you strike down your enemies. The enemies of our people. Surely you cannot begrudge me such selflessness for our people and such a minor indulgence for myself. I want only to help you, my dear.”

    I cannot even protest as his soft lips caress my own, his hands smoothing my hair. Twelve, if ever I have needed aid it is now…



    -----------------

    [edit]I LOVE MitD-gsMitD! That's awesome And I think the thread archive is actually a good idea, but impentation is what i worry about. It would almost have to be a sticky, because by definition we shouldn't reply to it!
    Last edited by NemoUtopia; 2010-02-07 at 01:25 PM.
    Awesome avatar by potatocubed

    Without improvisation, magic is inherently limited

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  5. - Top - End - #95
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Whoooah. Nice Story. Miko is one of my favourite characters. XD
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  6. - Top - End - #96
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Hey guys! I figured out what happened with Mia was pregnant with Haley! Look what I rolled!

    Bandit King/Haley's Dad, Adultery with High heels and black leather
    I makes so much sense! Write it please!

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    once I finish up Rogue Love I could try a stab at that.then again I dont think there is enough brain bleach in the world for this
    Try my new Holy Brain Bleach. It's part Holy Water, and part high strength Brain Bleach. The formula took five threads of testing to make.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Did no one like my "Thread Archive" Idea?
    I like it.
    Last edited by Aaron; 2010-02-07 at 02:04 PM.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  7. - Top - End - #97
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Surely holy brain bleach only helps if you're Good though.
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  8. - Top - End - #98
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Surely holy brain bleach only helps if you're Good though.
    Nope. The holy water part "cleans your mind" of brain poisoning from this thread.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Ok, what if you're a vampire?
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
    Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
    Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  10. - Top - End - #100
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post



    Try my new Holy Brain Bleach. It's part Holy Water, and part high strength Brain Bleach. The formula took five threads of testing to make.



    I like it.
    does holy brain bleach have adverse affects on tieflings?
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  11. - Top - End - #101
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Spoiler
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    “No, no, it’s like this!”

    The half-outsider picked up the pair of dice, letting them both fall on the multi-layered board. “You see? Twelve. That means that I get to move up or down four times.”

    “This makes no sense!” Abram shook his head, staring incredulously at the little outsider figurines. “We’ve been at this for two hours—can’t we go outside and play badminton or something?”

    Terentius lay on his back with his little sister on his stomach, dark fingers gently running through soft purple hair. “Tia’s fallen asleep.”

    “Good. We can wake her when it’s her turn. Two more hours from now,” Octavius grumbled, stretching impatiently.

    “It’s a game about basic math and advanced theological philosophy! It’s not that hard! Come on, I’ll explain it again…”

    Everyone let out a groan.

    ---

    Tiasal woke up shaking. She was wrapped up in a blanket, but her core was freezing and her muscles were giving off spasms without reason. Cold sweat rolled down her face, blotches of black invading her eyes, and she could do little more than whimper as aches crawled up and down her bones, locking in with strong arms and sharp teeth. She wanted something. Needed something.

    She felt like she was sick again, only worse than the times she had been sick in her field. In her field, Durkon would just cast a spell and she would be better after a day of Aunt Celia giving her soup. This was horrible. This was her own body rebelling, demanding something that she didn’t know how to give. Hallucinations rippled through her senses like water. The sight of thousands of people staring at her. The scent of flowers, wine, honey, and motherhood tickling the tip of her nose. The salty taste of blood coating her teeth. The feel of an adult’s arms wrapped gently around her torso, his body curled protectively against hers. The sound of someone whispering in her ear about how she would be okay, that it was unpleasant but she would be okay…

    Someone tied something around her bicep and there was a sharp pain on the inside of her elbow.

    The chills left. So did the weird sensations. She was in the stone room and children were milling towards the door, some still in blankets with needles and some on their beds with swollen bellies.

    Swift was sitting next to her, a used needle in his hand. He gingerly put it to the side, taking the rubber band off of Tiasal’s arm.

    “Ms. Tsukiko told us to make sure you had your braids…” he mumbled softly, avoiding eye contact and picking up a brush he had laid aside.

    Tiasal gave a terse nod, frowning curiously at the needle and turning so the boy could fix her hair.

    “D-don’t worry. I gave you a low dosage. Keeps the withdrawal symptoms away but doesn’t make you fuzzy. If you’re good for Master, he’ll keep giving you the doses you need. He… he uses it for the kids who misbehave a lot…”

    Tiasal’s frown deepened, and she searched her memory for how she started this needle thing. She couldn’t remember. The night before was just a blur.

    That did not bode well.

    “And… uh, I have a change of clothes for you…”

    Tiasal looked down at her clothes in confusion, noting that the seat of her pants had some white stuff on it. That was weird. Was it flour? No, it wasn’t right for flour…

    Suspicion was roused within. She didn’t like this.

    Swift tightened her hair before pulling it into the restrictive braids, tying them at the end.

    “You should change.”

    Tiasal glanced back at him, narrowing her eyes before she took the offered clothes, standing up and changing right there.

    “You should be happy, you know. He went easy on you.” Swift subconsciously rubbed his bottom gently. “And, um…” he looked away, mumbling, “be careful when you’re outside tending the courtyard. Some people are a little angry that he hasn’t touched you much.”

    Tiasal cocked her head in confusion, then shrugged. She didn’t really care. She wasn’t afraid of the servant kids. (She was a little curious about the touching thing, but oh well. He was probably talking about the beatings.)

    “Lord Xykon wishes to see you.”

    She nodded absently. It was time for her lessons, anyway. He would probably get her to try slaughtering some of the animals on the edges of the forest. He hopefully had enough sense to not send her deep inside—there were seriously high-powered monsters there. Enough to give the woman with the dragon tattoo trouble.

    She concentrated for a moment on the glassy surface of the used syringe on the ground, trying to summon the image of what had occurred the night before. The glass remained reflecting the mundane stone ceiling.

    “He’s, uh, in the throne room.”

    Tiasal nodded and started towards the door.

    “Yesterday was the first time you saw your dad, right?”

    Tiasal looked back, frowning, but Swift looked just as shocked as she. Yet he didn’t take back his question.

    There was a silence.

    She nodded slowly.

    Swift bit his lip. “What was it like?”

    She was quiet for another long moment before shrugging and turning away.

    “Oh.” He looked down. “Well, um, I hope it goes better next time.” Tiasal opened the door and Swift seemed to hesitate. “…I hope it goes better, Deirdre.”

    Tiasal took only a moment to glance back confusedly before leaving.

    In the back of her head, memories stirred, then lay back dormant.

    ---

    Redcloak took off his bloody shirt, breathing heavily, and placed his hand on his chest. “Cure Serious Wounds.”

    As his injuries healed up, he pulled on a different shirt, slipping on his armor over it and clasping his cloak around his neck. He should have expected that Xykon would want him to level-grind after such a long death, but this was a lot for a newly brought-back body to deal with.

    Luckily, he was back in his study and was only expected to do paperwork now. Admittedly extremely hard paperwork that included research about how to control a being of pure chaos, but still, papers usually didn’t grow claws and rip people apart. Usually.

    He sat down slowly at his desk, frowning at the papers already strewn across it. He had to admit that their ‘host’s’ library was surprisingly expansive—he wondered how books of such rarity came here—but the mere thought of being grateful to the child-raping bastard for anything made his blood boil.

    Vaarsuvius, had the elf been there, would have simply blasted the monster, picked up Tiasal, and run away. Redcloak wished he could do that, but he was too caught up with the consequences. Xykon wouldn’t let them get away. Tiasal would be hurt. His daughter would be hurt.

    He had to do his best to make sure that that never happened.

    Redcloak frowned at the papers, lightly pulling one of them from the pile and scanning it for relevancy. It was about epic-level spells. It was possible that there was something he could use.

    He didn’t know how long he was looking through those papers for when he heard someone open the door behind him. He ignored it, figuring it to be Tsukiko and expecting some jibes.

    Someone came up on his blind side and set a tray of food carefully on one of the paperless spots. Redcloak shied away in surprise—after all this time working with it, he hated people coming up on his right side—and turned his head to compensate for the lost half of his vision.

    He froze.

    Tiasal looked up at him, gave a small nod, and turned to leave. He was shocked into stillness so long that she was almost gone.

    “Wait!”

    She paused and Redcloak jumped up, his heart pounding in his ears and words tumbling out without thought behind them. “Is there anyone waiting for you?”

    She hesitated, then made a small ‘I’ve got a minute’ gesture.

    Redcloak had no idea what to say, but he kept talking anyway. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to know everything about her life. He didn’t want his baby to leave again. “Have they hurt you?”

    Tiasal shrugged and he knelt down slowly, tentatively putting his hands on her little shoulders. She felt so fragile, as if the smallest bit of pressure from him could break her bones to pieces. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to pick her up, put her in his lap, and talk as though he had been there her whole life. He wanted to have those fifteen years with his family that Xykon had stolen.

    He couldn’t have that.

    “Does it hurt to talk?”

    She hesitated.

    “…A little.”

    Her voice sounded a little like sandpaper, but his heart swelled nonetheless, ears perking to listen harder. It didn’t sound like she spoke a lot. If she used it more often, he didn’t have a doubt that her voice would be beautiful.

    “I don’t talk a lot.”

    Redcloak nodded, frowning, at a loss for what to say. “Why not?”

    She shifted, clasping her hands in front of her. “…” She shrugged. “…I don’t like it when people lie.”

    Redcloak cocked his head, a smile flickering over his lips, and he blurted out the first thing to come to his mind. “You sound like your mother.”

    Her ears twitched, perking, and swiveled so that they faced him.

    “She hated it when people were dishonest. Especially if she couldn’t tell the difference.” Redcloak slowly sat down in a more comfortable position and the little girl crept forward, ears twitching. “It used to drive her crazy when we first met that I treated her civilly while still being an enemy. She thought that I wasn’t making myself easy to categorize.”

    Tiasal crept closer.

    Redcloak looked her up and down, memories of Vaarsuvius and that one snatch of time he had had with his newborn running through his head. The only two women who had been able to make him cry in his entire adult life.

    “I don’t think you like it either. Not being able to categorize me, I mean. You’re like your mother.”

    Tiasal sat slowly in his lap, ears swiveling to hear him better. Redcloak’s heart swelled and he loosely wrapped his arms around the little girl, noting that she was tense, but not as tense as she was the moment before.

    “Who have you been raised by all these years?”

    The girl rolled her shoulders, pulling at her braids uncomfortably. “The Order.”

    He nodded slowly. Three humans, a dwarf, and a psychopathic halfling. Not ideal, but definitely better than the alternatives. For non-goblins, they were okay.

    He absently pulled her braids loose, letting her hair out in its fluffy glory and running his fingers through it. It was just as soft and fine as Vaarsuvius’s. He missed his wife.

    She seemed relieved to have her hair loose again.

    “Do they treat you well?”

    Tiasal hesitated, studying him, and slowly nodded. “Your eye…”

    “Oh, that.” Redcloak turned his head a little so the patch was harder to see. “Don’t worry. I had it before I died. Xykon wanted me to have it again.”

    She was quiet, eyes studious.

    “Don’t think about it. He just likes being cruel.” Redcloak stroked her hair, running it in between his fingers. It was so soft. Just like her mother’s.

    “Who are you?”

    Redcloak paused, then blinked in confusion. “I’m… I’m your father.”

    “No. Who are you? Not what.”

    The goblin frowned thoughtfully, running his fingers through the little girl’s hair.

    “The Order never told me.”

    Redcloak nodded slowly, trying to think of what to say.

    Well, he wasn’t about to lie to his own daughter. He had gotten her in this situation. He owed her the truth. “They probably didn’t want you to think badly of your own father.”

    Her ears perked slowly.

    “How much did they tell you?”

    The door swung open and Tiasal jerked in surprise, Redcloak instinctively tightening his grip firmly around the little girl and looking up, frowning darkly.

    His expression got positively vicious when he saw who ambled in slowly.

    “Clash, you are slacking.”

    Tiasal winced, subconsciously burrowing into Redcloak’s chest and letting out a soft whimper without meaning to. Master leaned on a cane he seemed to have picked up somewhere, frowning disapprovingly at her. “You don’t want to be slacking, do you?”

    Redcloak heard the threat in the old man’s voice, a growl beginning deep in his chest.

    But he couldn’t do anything. He would scare his daughter and Xykon would set the cleric on her.

    Only one thing to do.

    He forced a smile, still running his fingers lovingly through purple strands. “I’m sorry, this was my fault. I got a little greedy about spending time with her and wouldn’t let her go. I’m sure that she’ll be excused from any punishment.”

    He put an underlying threat to his tone, making sure that the cleric knew that he wasn’t the only one who had power. Redcloak gently brushed his lips against his daughter’s hairline. “Alright, Tiasal. We’ll continue this conversation later, okay?”

    She looked up at him, for once not having that studious expression. She blinked her thanks and gave him a tentative smile. “Okay… Dad.”

    He bit his lip and ruffled her hair, allowing her to get up and scamper out of the room.

    His heart ached and he fought the urge to call her back. He could have all the time he wanted with his little girl when he had figured out how to release Vaarsuvius and escape with her. He had to focus on keeping her safe. He could be separated from her if it meant his baby was safe.

    Master turned to go.

    “I need to talk to you for a moment.”

    The cleric looked at the goblin, frowning, as Redcloak stood up and brushed himself off. The only indicator of Redcloak’s feelings was a hard expression. “Close the door. I don’t want my daughter or any of the children here listening to this.”

    The cleric narrowed his eyes, but slowly did as was told, pushing the door closed. “You seemed a little snuggled with her.” A smirk carved itself into his face. “She’s a pretty little girl. Do what you know you want to. Every good father does.”

    Redcloak resisted the urge to slash the monster across the face, and instead, he just sneered. “You’re a sick bastard who just deludes himself into thinking that everyone is just as twisted as you.” He crossed his arms, one eye narrowed into a gold chip. “The only reason I’m not going to kill you where you stand is because Xykon would hurt my daughter if I did. But, even with my lengthy death, I’m still a much higher level than you. If you touch her, I will guarantee that you will sincerely regret it.”

    The cleric paused, quietly contemplating his cane. For a moment, Redcloak didn’t think he would respond. “She’s a very pretty little girl. Very quiet, though.” He rubbed his chin and the goblin tensed, anticipating something he would get angry at. “The little ones always bleed the first time. Most scream. I don’t think that she will scream. She’ll stay silent and then cry later.” The cleric stroked his cane, beady eyes distant. “She’ll be interesting to break.”

    The cleric found himself slammed against the wall and then thrown to the floor, claws slashing straight through his face. He shouted in pain, covering his face but unwilling to heal it just yet for fear of getting his attacker angrier. Redcloak loomed over him, eye glowing furiously and claws dripping with his blood.

    “Stay the hell away from my daughter.

    Redcloak slashed with his other hand, crisscrossing his last cuts. The cleric let out a warbling shout, holding his hands to his face and trying to stop the bleeding.

    The goblin growled, clamping his hand around the man’s throat and forcing him to stand. “If you touch her, then I will make you pay in blood. Got it?”

    Sticky red dripped down the cleric’s face, staining his clothes in macabre punctuation of the real threat the goblin was dealing.

    “…I understand.”

    “Good.”

    Redcloak threw the cleric down. “Get yourself cleaned up. Those kids suffer enough without seeing your bloodied mug looking like it just came out of a horror show.”

    He stalked out.

    It took a while for the cleric to do the same.

    ---

    Tiasal frowned at the shovel in her hand, then at the giant snow-covered courtyard before dropping her tool. The stone paths were already shoveled, especially around the fountain, and the cleric probably wouldn’t notice if she didn’t do anything.

    Instead, she walked into the woods.

    Snow clung to the evergreens, and she had to be careful to walk quietly. Extremely high level monsters lurked in the woods, and she had no desire to be eviscerated. It was stupid that she was out here, but she didn’t care. Something was pulling her along.

    She came to the edge of a pond, a thin layer of ice on the edges and a thicker layer at the center. She sat at the edge, resting her hand lightly on the top of the thin ice. “Burning Hands.”

    Her hands melted through the ice and rested on top of the freezing water in little hand-shaped holes.

    “I’m scared to go in.”

    The two boys dived under the water, and Tiasal was afraid for a moment that they had drowned, but both came up quickly, flipping their wet hair out of their eyes. Sun filtered through the leaves and lit up the mildly murky water, making her brothers’ chocolate-colored skin glimmer.

    “Don’t worry, Tia,” Terentius said, swimming slowly to the edge of the pool and smiling at her. “We won’t let you drown.” He held out a wet hand for his tiny sister to take.

    Tiasal hesitated, then slowly pulled off her clothes, letting them drop to the ground, and took her brother’s hand. “What about if you’re not nearby when I’m drowning?”

    Octavius backstroked to the middle of the pond, grinning. “We’re your big brothers, you little Oompa Loompa. No matter what mess you get yourself into, we’ll always pull you out.”

    Terentius’s eyes sparkled in the sun and he tightened his grip on her hand. “We promise.”


    She wasn’t going to see her brothers again.

    “Aarindarius?”

    The wizard looked up from his book, eyes surprised, at the little girl at his door. She was clothed in a thin lavender nightgown—far too thin for the winter weather—and her ankles were scratched and bleeding from walking in the field barefoot. Tangled purple hair hung ragged around her face, and little dark circles were forming under her eyes.

    “It is past midnight, child. You were put to bed over five hours ago.” Aarindarius stood up, frowning. “Why have you come here?”

    “…” The little girl shifted, looking at the wall. “…Nightmare.”

    The wizard was quiet.

    “Oh.” He paused, then gestured her closer. “Well, come sit here.”

    She obediently came forward, holding out her arms. The wizard gently picked her up, sitting at his armchair and putting her on his lap. He brushed his lips lightly against the little girl’s green forehead, adjusting so they both were comfortable. “You are safe here.”

    Tiasal nodded, resting her head on the wizard’s shoulder and taking a breath of his scent. She knew.

    She dozed off in his arms.

    When she woke up, she was curled up against her teacher in his bed, and the gentle blush of dawn was only just brushing the sky.


    Aarindarius was dead.

    “Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are…”

    “Sweetie, Tiasal is twelve years old. I think it’s a little late for nursery rhymes.”

    Uncle Elan’s eyes were practically glowing. “It’s never too late for song, as my mom always said! Look, she loves it!”

    Tiasal smiled endearingly and sat back, waiting for her uncle to sing about the diamonds in the sky.


    Uncle Elan was dead.

    “You don’t know how to play the lute?”

    Tiasal stared at the instrument as if it had grown four legs, then shook her head, looking up at her ten-year-old cousin with a quizzical expression on her face.

    “Neither do I. Don’t tell Dad.” Abram made an exaggerated shushing motion, then looked around secretively. “Hey, let’s go make some cookies. I’ll let you eat the dough if you don’t tell Mom about how much I eat.”

    Tiasal nodded eagerly and grabbed her cousin’s hand. Abram brightened, glancing around mischievously before leaning down and kissing her cheek. “When you’re all grown up, I’ll keep you hidden up in Aarindarius’s tower, where you’ll have all the cookie dough you can eat. And no one can have you unless they climb the tower.” He pulled her into the kitchen. “And then you’ll marry the first guy that can do that.”

    Tiasal grinned. In her youthful mind, little girls grew up to marry their fathers, brothers or cousins. She would be happy if she could marry any of them.

    She quietly daydreamed about which of the men she loved would climb the tower first as Abram searched for ingredients.


    Abram was dead.

    She wouldn’t see Auntie Haley.

    Wouldn’t see Uncle Roy.

    Not Aunt Celia, not her cousins, not Uncle Belkar, not Uncle Durkon, not Inkyrius, not Blackwing, not O-Chul or Hinjo or Lien …

    They were all gone. Well and truly gone.

    And she never got to say goodbye.

    For a moment, she forgot that they hated her. She forgot the resentment, the comments, and the regret. She only remembered the smiles, the love, the warmth, and the kindness.

    Tiasal hugged her knees and started to cry, and one by one, she let her family sink into the pond to disappear under the ice.

    All the while, a little girl that only Tiasal could see watched and shook her head.


    Thoughts?
    I am again reminded of why we all hate the Master.

    Question: Do the kids know what he likes doing to them, or do they only know/understand/remember the details regarding the drugs?
    Last edited by Thor Person Guy; 2010-02-07 at 02:54 PM.
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    ...I feel ignored.

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Holy water is too lawful for me. XD
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    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Nonono. When You're Evil, by Voltaire. XDDD

    'I do it all because i'm eeeevil,
    This is the life, you see,
    the devil, tips his hat to meee,
    I do it all because i'm eeeevil,
    And i do it all for freeeee,
    Your tears are all the pay i'll ever need!'

    XD
    *Is humming loudly* I love Voltaire.
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    Yes, me too. XD I love that song.
    I'm the thorn, in your side~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Wow, you do work fast... I'm off for 23 hours and you've added three pages to the thread.

    I like the update, Water-Smurf, though I'm worried about Tiasal. Things are not going to end well for her, I fear.

    When You're Evil is one awesome song. Xykon would definitely sing that on karaoke night. I would too.

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    We'ze FAST, like, greased LIIIGHTNING
    Ooh, i like your avvie. Looks like a femElan. XD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Ooh, i like your avvie. Looks like a femElan. XD
    Oh, hey, it does. Huh. I didn't notice that.

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    Taken any levels in dashing swordsman? XD
    Blonde, rapier... dazzling smile. XD Good thing this is the character shipping thread and not the forumgoer one. XD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Taken any levels in dashing swordsman? XD
    Blonde, rapier... dazzling smile. XD Good thing this is the character shipping thread and not the forumgoer one. XD
    - my current expression
    I was just looking for a good avatar and picked this one 'cause it kinda looks like me. And no, I don't have any levels in Dashing Swordsman... My charisma score is abysmal, actually.

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    My RL charisma used to be terrible, but now it may be pretty good. ^_^
    XP
    I would take levels in Dashing Swordsman, but i'm pretty sure you have to use a rapier. I don't like rapiers. XD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    I am again reminded of why we all hate the Master.
    I don't hate him. I mean, he tried to kill The Doctor and all, but... wait, wrong Master.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Some suggestions. Why doesn't Lira make a Crack pairing index thread for all the stories and links. That way, she doesn't have to be on at the same time as Fiddler and can update periodically.
    I'm confused as to why you think I need to be on for new threads to be made.

    Also, you'd have to ask a mod about a second index thread. There is the one thread per topic rule, and I think we're doing perfectly well with the current set up.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  22. - Top - End - #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I wonder what Xykon would sing.
    While seducing V?

    Spoiler
    Show
    Some people say my love cannot be true
    Please believe me, my love, and Ill show you
    I will give you those things you thought unreal
    The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal

    Follow me now and you will not regret
    Leaving the life you led before we met
    You are the first to have this love of mine
    Forever with me till the end of time

    Your love for me has just got to be real
    Before you know the way Im going to feel
    Im going to feel
    Im going to feel

    Now I have you with me, under my power
    Our love grows stronger now with every hour
    Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
    My name is lucifer, please take my hand


    To Tiasal?

    Spoiler
    Show
    You, me
    Understand
    Shake my hand
    Last chance, little man
    Ain't it grand
    It's a bargain, it's a steal
    30 pieces of silver
    And a deal's a deal

    Sign upon the dotted line
    I'll be yours and you'll be mine
    Nothing's free
    Eventually
    Nothing's free

    From the rules and laws of morality
    Free to take your fill
    Free from your own free will
    Nothing's free

    My girl, it's getting late
    I'll raise the stakes
    So close
    Control your fate, why hesitate
    Seal the deal, close the sale
    Take my hammer, drive the nail

    Sign upon the bloody line
    A drop of yours, a drop of mine
    Nothing's free
    Eternally
    Nothing's free

    From your conscience or
    Free from the consequence
    Free to sin and death
    Free till your final breath
    Nothing's free
    Free from the claws and flaws of your family
    Free from obedient life
    You're cut like a double-edged knife
    Nothing's free, nothing's free
    Oh, you pay me

    Free to ignore the bore of authority
    Free to spit in the face
    Be the winningest rat in the race till
    Judgement Day
    Then nothing's free
    Bow to me if you wanna be free
    Free from life, come die with me

    And when we're dead it's for eternity
    Come on little one and dance in the fire
    The heat's getting close and the flame's getting higher
    When the music's over there's a hush in the choir
    Nothing's free
    When the trumpets sound and his light is all around
    And the saints all raise from the graves in the ground
    We'll be going way downtown
    Way downtown
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    He Took a Level in Badass, had a Crowning Moment of Awesome, and then earnt Redemption through death. In ONE LIGHTNING BOLT.
    <3

    ...
    Spoiler alert. DXD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    wink Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Part 2 of Rogue Love the not so epic tale

    Spoiler
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    Haley woke up in the bandit kings bedroom. It seems her looks, wit, and bluff skill could get her out of every situation. Though who’s to say she can’t enjoy herself along the way? Now all that was left was to get Elan and get out of her faster then you can say “Expeditious Retreat”. But did she really want to leave? The bandit king wasn’t so bad, and Elan could be fine on his own. “Maybe a walk will clear my mind” Haley said, just trying to delay making a decision.
    Outside it was a beautiful day. The flowers were in bloom, and the birds chirped in the trees. Haley was fully observant to the beauty of nature, but not that of the bandit kings daughter watching her leave the tent.” Hey, what were you doing in my father’s tent?” She said looking curious but as if she could burst into a rage at any moment.” Um, erm, Nothing?” Haley said trying to look as innocent as possible, and considering she is a rogue it was a really good try. “I’m watching you” the bandit king’s daughter said, eyeing her suspiciously.
    Haley sighed as the young lady walked away. That incident made it easy to choose. She needed to find Élan, get back to Roy, and get this nightmare over with. Though finding Elan in a bandit camp with at least 50 bandits would be more difficult, even more so because she wasn’t one of them.”” The first thing I am gonna need is an outfit” she thought to herself. Time for Operation: knock a dumb bandit out.
    Samantha thought about what just happened. “Did dad get a new concubine? Was the camp infiltrated? Those matters could wait. She was gonna go back to her new boy toy. Blondie was definably a keeper. And a quick cast of cats grace always helped in a relationship.


    Dont know how long this will go on but there will be a part 3
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    No, far away.
    Ah, that makes more sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    While seducing V?
    [...]
    To Tiasal?
    [...]
    What are those songs called? *prepares to look them up on YouTube*
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-02-07 at 04:28 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

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    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post

    Dont know how long this will go on but there will be a part 3
    For long I hope.
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Odor View Post
    For long I hope.
    gasp, I kind of have a internet fan ( sort of) that just made my day

    ill go on as long as im alive. And when I die, there is always Tsusiko
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    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    gasp, I kind of have a internet fan ( sort of) that just made my day

    ill go on as long as im alive. And when I die, there is always Tsusiko
    That is three peoples day I've made today....
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    Question: Do the kids know what he likes doing to them, or do they only know/understand/remember the details regarding the drugs?
    He only uses the drugs for 'problem' kids and, say, kids he doesn't want to tattle to Xykon on him. The kids know perfectly well what he does and makes them do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    While seducing V?

    Spoiler
    Show
    Some people say my love cannot be true
    Please believe me, my love, and Ill show you
    I will give you those things you thought unreal
    The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal

    Follow me now and you will not regret
    Leaving the life you led before we met
    You are the first to have this love of mine
    Forever with me till the end of time

    Your love for me has just got to be real
    Before you know the way Im going to feel
    Im going to feel
    Im going to feel

    Now I have you with me, under my power
    Our love grows stronger now with every hour
    Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
    My name is lucifer, please take my hand


    To Tiasal?

    Spoiler
    Show
    You, me
    Understand
    Shake my hand
    Last chance, little man
    Ain't it grand
    It's a bargain, it's a steal
    30 pieces of silver
    And a deal's a deal

    Sign upon the dotted line
    I'll be yours and you'll be mine
    Nothing's free
    Eventually
    Nothing's free

    From the rules and laws of morality
    Free to take your fill
    Free from your own free will
    Nothing's free

    My girl, it's getting late
    I'll raise the stakes
    So close
    Control your fate, why hesitate
    Seal the deal, close the sale
    Take my hammer, drive the nail

    Sign upon the bloody line
    A drop of yours, a drop of mine
    Nothing's free
    Eternally
    Nothing's free

    From your conscience or
    Free from the consequence
    Free to sin and death
    Free till your final breath
    Nothing's free
    Free from the claws and flaws of your family
    Free from obedient life
    You're cut like a double-edged knife
    Nothing's free, nothing's free
    Oh, you pay me

    Free to ignore the bore of authority
    Free to spit in the face
    Be the winningest rat in the race till
    Judgement Day
    Then nothing's free
    Bow to me if you wanna be free
    Free from life, come die with me

    And when we're dead it's for eternity
    Come on little one and dance in the fire
    The heat's getting close and the flame's getting higher
    When the music's over there's a hush in the choir
    Nothing's free
    When the trumpets sound and his light is all around
    And the saints all raise from the graves in the ground
    We'll be going way downtown
    Way downtown
    Oh my God, that fits so much, it isn't even funny. It's so cool!

    Incidentally, I ran across this song...

    Spoiler
    Show
    For to see my Tom of Bedlam, 10,000 miles I'd travel
    Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes, to save her shoes from gravel.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    I went down to Satin's kitchen, for to beg me food one morning
    There I got souls piping hot, all on the spit a turning.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    There I picked up a cauldron, Where boiled 10,000 harlots
    Though full of flame I drank the same, to the health of all such varlets.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    My staff has murdered giants, my bag a long knife carries
    For to cut mince pies from children's thighs, with which to feed the fairies.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    Spirits white as lightning, shall on my travels guide me
    The moon would quake and the stars would shake, when' ere they espied me.
    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    No gypsy slut nor doxy, shall win my Mad Tom from me
    I'll weep all night, the stars I'll fight, the fray will well become me.
    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    It's when next I have murdered, the Man-In-The-Moon to powder
    His staff I'll break, his dog I'll bake, they'll howl no demon louder.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.

    So drink to Tom of Bedlam, he'll fill the seas in barrels
    I'll drink it all, all brewed with gall, with Mad Maudlin I will travel.

    Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys,
    Bedlam boys are bonnie
    For they all go bare and they live by the air,
    And they want no drink nor money.


    This was written by an inmate of Bethlehem. I thought of Deirdre.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    What are those songs called? *prepares to look them up on YouTube*
    N.I.B. by Ozzy Osbourne, and Nothing's Free by Alice Cooper.


    Hey, if that whole thing with 'Redcloak and Vaarsuvius are wedged apart by Xykon's abuse of her' happens, and assuming Xykon forced Vaarsuvius into marrying him and V never got the guts to explain what was really going on to Reddy, how would Redcloak react if he started getting the inkling that Vaarsuvius was unhappy with Xykon?

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Water smurf you just made my ozzy alarm go off.
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

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