[Spells] Pardon me...do you have any Grey Poupon?

[The Bushranger]

Summon Condiments
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close
Effect: 4 ounces/level
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

This spell, when cast, produces 4 ounces per caster level of assorted condiments.

The effects vary depending on the target, and come in an assortment of one, two or three types of condiment, at the DM's discretion.

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Summon Mass Condiments
Conjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: 1m³ condiments produced/level 6th or higher
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fort half
Spell Resistance: No

This spell causes a minimum of 1 square meter of assorted condiments to materialise in the air above the selected target, with the following results predictable under the laws of gravity.

The effects vary depending on the target, and come in an assortment of one, two or three types of condiment, at the DM's discretion. Targeting an aquatic creature, for instance, would produce tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, and malt vinegar; a werewolf, on the other hand, would receive ketchup, mustard and pickle relish.

This spell deals 1d4 points of damage to the target per caster level of 6th or above, and also deals 1 point of temporary CON damage for every three caster levels of 6th or above. This temporary damage remains until the target either showers, or eats a hearty meal.

If the condiments produced leave an area extending in radius 25' from the target, they dissolve into nothingness.

Material component: One set of flatware.

[Mee]

So, if I may ask, what would the point of these be? They're cool, and humorous, but not too powerful....

[mockingbyrd7]

So, if I may ask, what would the point of these be? They're cool, and humorous, but not too powerful....

That would seem to be the point.

[Mee]

Yes, but, other then being tasty, there's no reason to prepare these spells.
Especially with it taking up a 6th level spell slot.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Actually, given the price of some condiments as seen in the Arms & Equipment Guide, these are AMAZING money-making spells in any large city. Plus, the fact that the product is a comestible means that you won't dilute the market if you are cautious about using it.

Let me see...

According to the A&EG, Pepper is priced at 30gp an ounce.

Let's assume the minimum caster level, meaning that (if I'm reading it right) we get 5 square meters of pepper (1 meter/level over 6th, minimum of 11th level to cast 6th level spells).

1 Cubic Meter=33814 Ounces
5 Cubic Meters=169,070 Ounces

That translates to 5,072,100gp. Not bad for a 6th level spell. Casting this once a month can get you an AMAZING spice trade.

[Collin152]

Actually, given the price of some condiments as seen in the Arms & Equipment Guide, these are AMAZING money-making spells in any large city. Plus, the fact that the product is a comestible means that you won't dilute the market if you are cautious about using it.

Let me see...

According to the A&EG, Pepper is priced at 30gp an ounce.

Let's assume the minimum caster level, meaning that (if I'm reading it right) we get 5 square meters of pepper (1 meter/level over 6th, minimum of 11th level to cast 6th level spells).

1 Cubic Meter=33814 Ounces
5 Cubic Meters=169,070 Ounces

That translates to 5,072,100gp. Not bad for a 6th level spell. Casting this once a month can get you an AMAZING spice trade.

30 pieces of gold for an ounce of pepper?
So, this thing is worth 10 months of a farmer's labor?
Wow, I think that might actually be historically accurate...

[Mee]

Actually, given the price of some condiments as seen in the Arms & Equipment Guide, these are AMAZING money-making spells in any large city. Plus, the fact that the product is a comestible means that you won't dilute the market if you are cautious about using it.

Let me see...

According to the A&EG, Pepper is priced at 30gp an ounce.

Let's assume the minimum caster level, meaning that (if I'm reading it right) we get 5 square meters of pepper (1 meter/level over 6th, minimum of 11th level to cast 6th level spells).

1 Cubic Meter=33814 Ounces
5 Cubic Meters=169,070 Ounces

That translates to 5,072,100gp. Not bad for a 6th level spell. Casting this once a month can get you an AMAZING spice trade.

Never mind, I take back what I said.

[quiet1mi]

have you ever eaten alot of grey pupon at once... it is spicy so create jars of it and .... throw them at bad guy?

making money seems reasonable for a lvl 6 spell... know wonder wizards are always rich even though they seem to nothing but research they're spells... they are selling spices!

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

If by "seems good" you mean "IS INSANELY BROKEN," then yes. No 6th level spell should allow an entire party to go over the Wealth by Level for 20th level with only a single casting...especially when it has no XP or gp cost.

It was the problem with True Creation, and it's the problem with this as well.

The solution is to either put a short duration on it to prevent selling it, put a radius effect that it must stay within, or have an XP cost at the rate of 1 XP per gp of the item created (like the new True Creation).

[jagadaishio]

Side note: there are creatures that like to season their food with lava. Think about it. A Salamander's condiments would rip the flesh off of a person.

[Bitzeralisis]

Yay! Exploitable spells! This makes me wonder where conservation of energy/mass comes in with magic...

[Demented]

According to the A&EG, Pepper is priced at 30gp an ounce.

First of all, it's a spice, not a condiment.
Not that I'd know the difference...

Second of all, where are you going to find something that's iconically eaten with pepper?

[The Bushranger]

You know, money-making never crossed my mind.
I created SMC as a gag spell for my HALO character to use...as a combat spell...

[The Bushranger]

I've made an edit to SMC addressing the point DiT raised. No creating and selling condiments (or spices ) for you!

[DracoDei]

Well, you can still do it with the 2nd level version, but that is much less broken, and might even be less money than you could make selling the spell casting of generic 2nd level spells at the PHB rates.