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  1. - Top - End - #1141
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    KnightMysterio's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Thought I'd give this a try... I've only read a handful of the stories but they were all good, and since this looks like fun and Miko is among top 5 favorite characters (yes, I'm odd), I figured I'd take a stab at this.

    Miko/The Snarl

    Spoiler
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    Miko Miyazaki died without honor.

    She had slain her lord, accused innocent adventurers (well, technically Belkar wasn’t innocent but he was innocent of… well, most of what she accused him of), and refused to believe in the simple fact that she might, just MIGHT, be wrong. She had destroyed a sacred gate, and moved the world a little closer to destruction. And all the while, she thought she was doing the right thing, the will of the Gods.

    When she found that she had been sent to Hell, she was a little surprised.

    Over three years of torture. Not physical, no. Truth be told, and even she had to admit it after a while, it was quite pleasant, if it violated all her beliefs on intimacy.

    She had two different things happen to her. One, she was effectively forced to become Sabine’s ‘pet,’ the succubus using her for every pleasure imaginable. To top things off, Sabine also forced her to take care of Hell’s stables, and make sure the hellhorses were happy.

    Yes, in that way as well.

    Windstriker tried to free his beloved mistress, but lost a Will save and became one of Sabine’s personal mounts. Miko was strong, however. She could get through this. And as long as Windstriker was safe, she was content.

    If had been just that, she could have adjusted easily. Her views on sex and lust being challenged and violated daily? She could adjust to that. It was humiliating, (especially when Sabine brought that accursed fool Nale in), but she could deal with that. She would not break simply because she was a slave to the perversions of a succubus.

    The problem was that this was Hell. And it never let you have something you could endure so easily. Over and over again, Miko was shown precisely the reasons she had been sent down there. Visions assailed her hourly, showing her that everything she had done that had brought her to this fate over and over again. Shojo’s death, the ‘evil’ monsters she had killed that had actually turned out to be good, Roy telling her the cold hard truth about her character, the brutal, out of line beatings she gave to the Order of the Stick when they didn’t cooperate with her, her own maddened rampages, the destruction of the gate… Over and over the visions assailed her.

    On the eve of the fourth year of her torment in Hell, Miko began to break. Despair began to overtake her as it finally started to sink that she was WRONG, that she was foolishly arrogant and deserved the daily humiliation Sabine and her demonic sisters inflicted upon her daily…

    But even as that despair set in, something else set in: an indignant fury.

    She had made mistakes, certainly… But where had the gods been? Hadn’t she served them loyally, even if it was mistakenly? She had done wrong, certainly, but you think someone who had prayed to them as faithfully had she had would at the very LEAST merit a celestial tap on the shoulder and a whispered “You MIGHT wanna reconsider what you’re doing, here…”

    Miko staggered through the flaming caverns that were near the succubus quarters. The superheated rocks burned her flesh, but she barely noticed. Humiliation, shame, and anger clouded her thoughts, the damned paladin’s mind muddled.

    She collapsed in a cave, sobbing. “WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME!?!!” she screamed to the Gods.

    Abandoned you? a dark, sinister voice chuckled, That would imply they cared about you in the first place.

    Miko looked around, frightened. “Who… Who’s there?!”

    The Gods do not care. They are squabbling children, who only care about their own amusement. If they help the creatures of the world at all, it is because they think it would be FUNNY…

    Miko looked around the cavern frantically. She soon discovered the source of the voice, a tear in back wall of the cavern, one radiating purple energy… And in that rift, two glowing red eyes stared out at her.

    “Get… Get AWAY!!” Miko screamed, frantically backing away.

    I think not, child, the creature said, You are too interesting.

    Energy lanced out of the rift, collapsing the cavern and trapping Miko inside.

    “Oh Gods… What new torments have you come up with for me?!” she moaned.

    The creature chuckled. Silly girl, I mean you no harm. I am called the Snarl. I am what the Gates were meant to keep imprisoned.

    Miko’s blood froze. The very thing the Sapphire Guard had been created to defend against, here before her.

    “Fiend… Whatever you want from me, I will not give!!” Miko hissed.

    Silly child. Once I am through, you will give me EVERYTHING I WANT… And you will give it freely…

    Before Miko could react, tendrils of energy reached out and pulled her into the rift. Screaming, the fallen paladin was pulled in, vanishing in a flash of purple light.

    She found herself in a realm of pure madness. Colors, lights, shadows, shapes, all danced about madly. The effect frightened her worse than anything she had ever endured before.

    “Where… Where am I!?”

    You are with me, child… I am the creation of the Gods…

    Miko shook her head. “You are an abomination! A creature of destruction!”

    As are you, Miko Miyazaki.

    “NO! I am a samurai! A servant of the Twelve Gods!” Miko almost shrieked.

    Then why are you in Hell?

    “I… I was misled… I…” Miko stammered.

    The gods… And not just your twelve gods, but all the gods… They do not care about the world… Neither do I, for that matter, but at least I’m honest about it. I make no pretense of benevolence…

    “You…” Miko stammered, “You are destruction! You are madness and decay…”

    So are you, child.

    “NO!” Miko screamed, “I am noble, I am honorable, I am…”

    You slew innocents simply because their race was classified as evil. You attacked adventurers trying to save the world from… well, me. You slew your noble and just king. You destroyed one of the gates keeping me in check.

    “I did those things because I thought I was protecting justice! That I was doing the will of the Gods!!” Miko screamed, looking about the maddening display.

    And look where that got you.

    Miko had no response. She covered her ears, trying to block out the voice in her head, telling her such things.

    She flinched, the Snarl creating gentle hands to caress her. You are a destructor, child. Just like me.

    “No…” Miko whispered, the Snarl’s etherial hands gently massaging her shoulders, “I am… I am a samurai… A noble paladin of the Sapphire Guard…”

    Think back to all your kills… Did it not feel good to have your blade bite into their flesh? Did it not excite you to cleft heads from shoulders, flesh from bone?

    “The Sapphire Guard is above such desires…” Miko weakly protested. The hands were becoming more bold in their caresses, moving across her back and around to her front.

    To deny yourself is to destroy yourself, child… And you are not the suicidal type. Think back… Think long and hard on how it felt… And tell me truly… Did it feel good?

    Miko moaned, the Snarl’s words forcing her to remember not just the act… But the sensation… The thrill that went through her as she killed… A thrill more than one garnered from doing what she believed was the right thing.

    “Yes…” she moaned, ”It felt good to kill…”

    There we go… Now… What would you like to do to that miserable halfling that the Order of the Stick associates with?

    Fury filled Miko’s body. “I will slay him,” she said.

    Come now. You can be more detailed than that…

    Miko laughed giddily, all her old rage-filled fantasies that she had forcibly suppressed coming forward. “I will flay the skin from his body while he still lives… I will force him to drink acid while listening to children’s music… I will make him pull out his own intestines while saying nice things about puppies and kitties… And then I will make him throttle himself with his own intestines!!!”

    The Snarl seemed to laugh. Not bad. A little bland, but it’s something to work on…

    Miko shook her head, shame at her rage still within her, even as another part of her felt giddy excitement at letting all these suppressed emotions out. “What do you want from me?”

    Quite frankly, Miko, I want you to be mine… I adore you. I have never seen another soul so much like mine… There is a great deal of suppressed rage in you. So much desire to destroy, to rend, to sunder, all buried beneath piety and virtue. But that piety is cracking, now isn’t it?

    “Yes… “ Miko admitted, tears of shame in her eyes.

    The gods do not care about you…

    “Yes…” Miko said, the anger welling up inside her again.

    You served them loyally and without question…

    “Yes…” Miko said, bitterness welling up inside her.

    And yet when you made mistakes, they made no effort to save you.

    “Yes…” Miko said, her voice now a hiss of fury.

    You hate them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, surprising herself at her answer.

    You wish to destroy them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a smiling crossing her face at how right the answer sounded.

    You with to hurt them, make them pay…

    “Yes,” Miko said with more certainty.

    You wish to rend asunder their works, and then render them asunder as well…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a grin crossing her face, her eyes starting to glow red.

    And you wish to make their chosen defenders, the Order of the Stick, suffer for bringing you to this…

    “Yes… By everything holy or unholy yes…” Miko said.

    Then accept me, the Snarl said, Embrace me, embrace my path. You, my knight of destruction, shall be the key to undoing the gods and their works. Carry me inside you, and slay any who get in your way. Abandon any pretense of piety, or nobility, and embrace the path of True Chaos. Will you embrace me, Miko Miyazaki, and revel in destruction with me?

    Miko closed her eyes. She thought about her options… or at least she tried. The feeling of abandonment, the halfling’s mocking voice, the humiliation she suffered… they dominated her thoughts.

    “I accept,” she whispered.

    The Snarl laughed. Miko gasped, feeling energy flowing into her, strength empowering her. She felt her body swelling, as if she was going to burst. Light, shadow, colors, all flowed around her, all flowed into her, the light blinding her.

    When she regained her vision, she found herself back amongst the living, standing by a riverbed. She looked down at herself, finding her body covered in purple and indigo armor, similar in design to her old paladin garb, but with a more menacing edge to it. What’s more, she found that her belly had swollen out, looking like she was nine months along with triplets. She placed a hand to her swollen stomach, feeling something stirring within.

    It was then she understood.

    “Of course… ‘Carry me inside you,’ it said… I bear the Snarl itself within me…” she said. She held up a hand, dark magic flowing through her and manifesting as a dark blue aura. She grinned savagely, and clenched her fist, a jagged edged katana forming in her hand. “Its power flows through me… Through my own actions, the Snarl can act directly on the world…”

    Miko laughed, delighted. She understood for the first time. She UNDERSTOOD, and it was a liberating feeling. Powerful flowed through her, filling her every pore, begging to be released.

    Chuckling, she looked at herself in the reflection of the nearby river, seeing that her hair had turned white, her eyes now glowing red.

    She chuckled. “It begins… The gates will fall, and the gods will fall soon after…”

    Yes, the Snarl chuckled, the voice now a welcome presence in Miko’s head, And you, my beautiful Knight of Destruction, shall lead the charge, both lover and mother to me.

    Miko grinned savagely. She gestured, summoning Windstriker to her side, the Snarl’s power turning him into a deadly, purple-furred fel beast. She mounted her steed, and said, “And as for the Order of the Stick… Heh. Their suffering shall be endless… As will be my pleasure…”


  2. - Top - End - #1142
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Wow. Quite a lot of new talent in the past couple of days.

    And I say "Talent" literally.

    Welcome to the thread! I should really start setting up guide tours or something...

  3. - Top - End - #1143
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    KnightMysterio's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Wow. Quite a lot of new talent in the past couple of days.

    And I say "Talent" literally.

    Welcome to the thread! I should really start setting up guide tours or something...
    Thank you. :D I hope you liked the story.

    I am willing to take more Miko pairing suggestions. (She reminds me a little of Alexander Anderson from Hellsing, that's why I like her.)

  4. - Top - End - #1144
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sstoopidtallkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    Thank you. :D I hope you liked the story.

    I am willing to take more Miko pairing suggestions. (She reminds me a little of Alexander Anderson from Hellsing, that's why I like her.)
    The classic is Sangwaan, but if you're willing, Miko/Shojo could be really sad.
    [/sarcasm]
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  5. - Top - End - #1145
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    Thank you. :D I hope you liked the story.

    I am willing to take more Miko pairing suggestions. (She reminds me a little of Alexander Anderson from Hellsing, that's why I like her.)
    Of course I did!

    Well, as you could probably tell, V's the village bike here...

  6. - Top - End - #1146
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Therkla+Julio Scoundrel. time for some perverted magic

    Spoiler
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    Therkla was sitting in a bar drowning her sorrows because she noticed that elan wasnt paying attention to her. By half -orc standards,she was gorgous. Nothing could explain it to her, not even the fact of being in love with haley.She might have drunk till she passed 'till a suprisingly sexy man sat next to her
    "Well hello their, sexy lady" He said in his alluring voice. "My name is Julio Scoundrel."Therkla looked him up and down.He put elan to shame."I'm Therkla" she said trying not to look amazed."How bout another beer?" Obviously trying to get her drunk and in her pants.
    " It will take more than some cheap liqour to get me drunker than a dwarf" she said, playing to be hard to get. "A challenge I see.* Julio smirked while looking at her assets. Therkla blushed while he was doing this. " looks like I dont need the liquor" If you want me come and get me. Julio eagerly followed her back to the inn she was residing in. Therkla then put a "Do not Disturb" sign on the door.

    Warning NSFW things coming up

    Therkla Started to lock the door. She disappeared into the bathroom. When she came back she was adorned in Black leather. Julio's pleasure went to new levels for him. He had the pleasure of a half-orc, and those of the ones Therkla was implying, but never both. She unbottened his shirt and throwing him on the bed. time for some fun, she said as she grinned




    Lets just say the half orc population was just increased
    Last edited by icastflare!; 2010-01-30 at 11:16 PM. Reason: need to add a spoiler mark as so in all the other edits and edit the story
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  7. - Top - End - #1147
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    Thought I'd give this a try... I've only read a handful of the stories but they were all good, and since this looks like fun and Miko is among top 5 favorite characters (yes, I'm odd), I figured I'd take a stab at this.

    Miko/The Snarl

    Spoiler
    Show

    Miko Miyazaki died without honor.

    She had slain her lord, accused innocent adventurers (well, technically Belkar wasn’t innocent but he was innocent of… well, most of what she accused him of), and refused to believe in the simple fact that she might, just MIGHT, be wrong. She had destroyed a sacred gate, and moved the world a little closer to destruction. And all the while, she thought she was doing the right thing, the will of the Gods.

    When she found that she had been sent to Hell, she was a little surprised.

    Over three years of torture. Not physical, no. Truth be told, and even she had to admit it after a while, it was quite pleasant, if it violated all her beliefs on intimacy.

    She had two different things happen to her. One, she was effectively forced to become Sabine’s ‘pet,’ the succubus using her for every pleasure imaginable. To top things off, Sabine also forced her to take care of Hell’s stables, and make sure the hellhorses were happy.

    Yes, in that way as well.

    Windstriker tried to free his beloved mistress, but lost a Will save and became one of Sabine’s personal mounts. Miko was strong, however. She could get through this. And as long as Windstriker was safe, she was content.

    If had been just that, she could have adjusted easily. Her views on sex and lust being challenged and violated daily? She could adjust to that. It was humiliating, (especially when Sabine brought that accursed fool Nale in), but she could deal with that. She would not break simply because she was a slave to the perversions of a succubus.

    The problem was that this was Hell. And it never let you have something you could endure so easily. Over and over again, Miko was shown precisely the reasons she had been sent down there. Visions assailed her hourly, showing her that everything she had done that had brought her to this fate over and over again. Shojo’s death, the ‘evil’ monsters she had killed that had actually turned out to be good, Roy telling her the cold hard truth about her character, the brutal, out of line beatings she gave to the Order of the Stick when they didn’t cooperate with her, her own maddened rampages, the destruction of the gate… Over and over the visions assailed her.

    On the eve of the fourth year of her torment in Hell, Miko began to break. Despair began to overtake her as it finally started to sink that she was WRONG, that she was foolishly arrogant and deserved the daily humiliation Sabine and her demonic sisters inflicted upon her daily…

    But even as that despair set in, something else set in: an indignant fury.

    She had made mistakes, certainly… But where had the gods been? Hadn’t she served them loyally, even if it was mistakenly? She had done wrong, certainly, but you think someone who had prayed to them as faithfully had she had would at the very LEAST merit a celestial tap on the shoulder and a whispered “You MIGHT wanna reconsider what you’re doing, here…”

    Miko staggered through the flaming caverns that were near the succubus quarters. The superheated rocks burned her flesh, but she barely noticed. Humiliation, shame, and anger clouded her thoughts, the damned paladin’s mind muddled.

    She collapsed in a cave, sobbing. “WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME!?!!” she screamed to the Gods.

    Abandoned you? a dark, sinister voice chuckled, That would imply they cared about you in the first place.

    Miko looked around, frightened. “Who… Who’s there?!”

    The Gods do not care. They are squabbling children, who only care about their own amusement. If they help the creatures of the world at all, it is because they think it would be FUNNY…

    Miko looked around the cavern frantically. She soon discovered the source of the voice, a tear in back wall of the cavern, one radiating purple energy… And in that rift, two glowing red eyes stared out at her.

    “Get… Get AWAY!!” Miko screamed, frantically backing away.

    I think not, child, the creature said, You are too interesting.

    Energy lanced out of the rift, collapsing the cavern and trapping Miko inside.

    “Oh Gods… What new torments have you come up with for me?!” she moaned.

    The creature chuckled. Silly girl, I mean you no harm. I am called the Snarl. I am what the Gates were meant to keep imprisoned.

    Miko’s blood froze. The very thing the Sapphire Guard had been created to defend against, here before her.

    “Fiend… Whatever you want from me, I will not give!!” Miko hissed.

    Silly child. Once I am through, you will give me EVERYTHING I WANT… And you will give it freely…

    Before Miko could react, tendrils of energy reached out and pulled her into the rift. Screaming, the fallen paladin was pulled in, vanishing in a flash of purple light.

    She found herself in a realm of pure madness. Colors, lights, shadows, shapes, all danced about madly. The effect frightened her worse than anything she had ever endured before.

    “Where… Where am I!?”

    You are with me, child… I am the creation of the Gods…

    Miko shook her head. “You are an abomination! A creature of destruction!”

    As are you, Miko Miyazaki.

    “NO! I am a samurai! A servant of the Twelve Gods!” Miko almost shrieked.

    Then why are you in Hell?

    “I… I was misled… I…” Miko stammered.

    The gods… And not just your twelve gods, but all the gods… They do not care about the world… Neither do I, for that matter, but at least I’m honest about it. I make no pretense of benevolence…

    “You…” Miko stammered, “You are destruction! You are madness and decay…”

    So are you, child.

    “NO!” Miko screamed, “I am noble, I am honorable, I am…”

    You slew innocents simply because their race was classified as evil. You attacked adventurers trying to save the world from… well, me. You slew your noble and just king. You destroyed one of the gates keeping me in check.

    “I did those things because I thought I was protecting justice! That I was doing the will of the Gods!!” Miko screamed, looking about the maddening display.

    And look where that got you.

    Miko had no response. She covered her ears, trying to block out the voice in her head, telling her such things.

    She flinched, the Snarl creating gentle hands to caress her. You are a destructor, child. Just like me.

    “No…” Miko whispered, the Snarl’s etherial hands gently massaging her shoulders, “I am… I am a samurai… A noble paladin of the Sapphire Guard…”

    Think back to all your kills… Did it not feel good to have your blade bite into their flesh? Did it not excite you to cleft heads from shoulders, flesh from bone?

    “The Sapphire Guard is above such desires…” Miko weakly protested. The hands were becoming more bold in their caresses, moving across her back and around to her front.

    To deny yourself is to destroy yourself, child… And you are not the suicidal type. Think back… Think long and hard on how it felt… And tell me truly… Did it feel good?

    Miko moaned, the Snarl’s words forcing her to remember not just the act… But the sensation… The thrill that went through her as she killed… A thrill more than one garnered from doing what she believed was the right thing.

    “Yes…” she moaned, ”It felt good to kill…”

    There we go… Now… What would you like to do to that miserable halfling that the Order of the Stick associates with?

    Fury filled Miko’s body. “I will slay him,” she said.

    Come now. You can be more detailed than that…

    Miko laughed giddily, all her old rage-filled fantasies that she had forcibly suppressed coming forward. “I will flay the skin from his body while he still lives… I will force him to drink acid while listening to children’s music… I will make him pull out his own intestines while saying nice things about puppies and kitties… And then I will make him throttle himself with his own intestines!!!”

    The Snarl seemed to laugh. Not bad. A little bland, but it’s something to work on…

    Miko shook her head, shame at her rage still within her, even as another part of her felt giddy excitement at letting all these suppressed emotions out. “What do you want from me?”

    Quite frankly, Miko, I want you to be mine… I adore you. I have never seen another soul so much like mine… There is a great deal of suppressed rage in you. So much desire to destroy, to rend, to sunder, all buried beneath piety and virtue. But that piety is cracking, now isn’t it?

    “Yes… “ Miko admitted, tears of shame in her eyes.

    The gods do not care about you…

    “Yes…” Miko said, the anger welling up inside her again.

    You served them loyally and without question…

    “Yes…” Miko said, bitterness welling up inside her.

    And yet when you made mistakes, they made no effort to save you.

    “Yes…” Miko said, her voice now a hiss of fury.

    You hate them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, surprising herself at her answer.

    You wish to destroy them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a smiling crossing her face at how right the answer sounded.

    You with to hurt them, make them pay…

    “Yes,” Miko said with more certainty.

    You wish to rend asunder their works, and then render them asunder as well…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a grin crossing her face, her eyes starting to glow red.

    And you wish to make their chosen defenders, the Order of the Stick, suffer for bringing you to this…

    “Yes… By everything holy or unholy yes…” Miko said.

    Then accept me, the Snarl said, Embrace me, embrace my path. You, my knight of destruction, shall be the key to undoing the gods and their works. Carry me inside you, and slay any who get in your way. Abandon any pretense of piety, or nobility, and embrace the path of True Chaos. Will you embrace me, Miko Miyazaki, and revel in destruction with me?

    Miko closed her eyes. She thought about her options… or at least she tried. The feeling of abandonment, the halfling’s mocking voice, the humiliation she suffered… they dominated her thoughts.

    “I accept,” she whispered.

    The Snarl laughed. Miko gasped, feeling energy flowing into her, strength empowering her. She felt her body swelling, as if she was going to burst. Light, shadow, colors, all flowed around her, all flowed into her, the light blinding her.

    When she regained her vision, she found herself back amongst the living, standing by a riverbed. She looked down at herself, finding her body covered in purple and indigo armor, similar in design to her old paladin garb, but with a more menacing edge to it. What’s more, she found that her belly had swollen out, looking like she was nine months along with triplets. She placed a hand to her swollen stomach, feeling something stirring within.

    It was then she understood.

    “Of course… ‘Carry me inside you,’ it said… I bear the Snarl itself within me…” she said. She held up a hand, dark magic flowing through her and manifesting as a dark blue aura. She grinned savagely, and clenched her fist, a jagged edged katana forming in her hand. “Its power flows through me… Through my own actions, the Snarl can act directly on the world…”

    Miko laughed, delighted. She understood for the first time. She UNDERSTOOD, and it was a liberating feeling. Powerful flowed through her, filling her every pore, begging to be released.

    Chuckling, she looked at herself in the reflection of the nearby river, seeing that her hair had turned white, her eyes now glowing red.

    She chuckled. “It begins… The gates will fall, and the gods will fall soon after…”

    Yes, the Snarl chuckled, the voice now a welcome presence in Miko’s head, And you, my beautiful Knight of Destruction, shall lead the charge, both lover and mother to me.

    Miko grinned savagely. She gestured, summoning Windstriker to her side, the Snarl’s power turning him into a deadly, purple-furred fel beast. She mounted her steed, and said, “And as for the Order of the Stick… Heh. Their suffering shall be endless… As will be my pleasure…”

    NOW THATS EPIC!!!!. you could write a book, Heck you could become one of this threads premeire authors
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  8. - Top - End - #1148
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Wow. Quite a lot of new talent in the past couple of days.

    And I say "Talent" literally.

    Welcome to the thread! I should really start setting up guide tours or something...
    And on our first part of the tour, we have some Crack pairing stories from me.

    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2010-01-31 at 12:05 AM.
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    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

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  9. - Top - End - #1149
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    icastflare!'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    bone golem royxtsusikoxteevo BY THE 12 GODS..................... i love my life oh and there is a french maid costume involved. raptor jesus is dealing out some great times

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    Roys bone golem didnt know where he was, though with his intelligence thats not saying much

    It was multiple weeks before the golem came to only to way up in a bed chamber. He only saw that he was strapped to the bed.to his left he saw a small xykon doll. Near the entrance he saw 2 wights.


    " Mother Tsusiko will be with you soon" one of them said.

    Who was this mother Tsusiko and why was he tied down?All he could come to was a guttural sound.Suddenly a door opened and a young woman appeared. She was in a black night gown. She was wearing earings made out of smal bones made into a diamond shape. Through her nightgown you could see the whatnots of her undergarments.

    " please leave,my wights" She said and they left her alone with the golem

    "Allow me to introduce myself, I am tsusiko, and you should now ... * she laid down and started strong the ribcage of the skeleton " I REALLY like undead". Roys golem finally knew who her captor is. Instead of rage, he felt passion. She was a lovely young lady, and an undead lover at that. " Now.... " tsusiko said as she took off the nightgown, Lets get down to business".

    none of them knew this but in the corner, Teevo was watching themwhile in a maid outfit, and watched it good. Why? Cause thats what gets him off


    AGain I love my life
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  10. - Top - End - #1150
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    KnightMysterio's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Miko/Vaarsuvius with a Love Potion as a plot device.

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    (Author’s Note: Takes place in an alternate timeline where Miko didn’t kill Shojo, kept her paladin status, and was forced to join the party as penance for her murder attempts.”

    Vaarsuvius frowned. Miko stood on the cliff below the one he (for purposes of this story Vaarsuvius will be male) and Durkon, giving Belkar another lecture on virtue and honor, while Roy was holding him off of the ground so he could keep Belkar from starting yet another fight with the paladin.

    “This is beyond idiotic… We managed to stop her from killing one of the only people actively trying to stop this world’s destruction, and yet instead of her being sent off to learn from her mistakes, we get saddled with her?” Vaarsuvius snapped.

    Durkon shrugged. “T’is nae for us to understand, lad. Lord Shojo felt that she could be taught t’control her pride by spending time under Roy’s command.”

    Vaarsuvius sighed. “All that seems to be being tested is how long it takes before one of us snaps and kills her in her sleep.”

    Durkon chuckled. “Ah, she means well, lad. She just does’nae know when to admit tha she’s wrong.”

    Vaarsuvius shook his head. “She’s an egomaniac. The only reason I rate her higher than Belkar is that she won’t kill us all in our sleep.”

    Durkon chuckled, and went off to a nearby temple to Thor to pray. “Give her time. The problem will work itself out,” he said.

    “Bah,” Vaarsuvius said, looking down at Miko, Belkar, and Roy, the latter now trying to keep the former two from throttling each other. “There has to be a way for this to end. At the rate those two are going, I’m going to end up wasting spell slots just trying to keep them apart.”

    A vicious thought occurred to him. “Unless… If that fool Miko were to suddenly acquire an irresistible attraction to… Aheh…”

    Vaarsuvius grinned, looking around. “Let’s see… Now if I could only find a potion maker…”

    As if on cue, the exact shop he needed entered his field of vision. “I just love convenient plot devices, don’t you?” he said to no one in particular, heading into the shop.

    To his delight, the shop was run by an elf, who looked just as gender-ambiguous as he did. “Ah, good,” Vaarsuvius said, “That means the potions here will be quality.”

    “The best in Azure City, my friend,” the shopkeeper said, “What can I do for you?”

    “In an incredible display of bureaucratic incompetence, we have been forcefully assigned Lord Shojo’s most trigger-happy paladin as a member of our adventuring party,” Vaarsuvius said.

    “Dear me. Miyazaki is adventuring with you?” the shopkeeper said.

    Vaarsuvius nodded. “I’m afraid so. I haven’t been able to properly trance for the past week. She keeps thinking that I’m praying to the Gods and ‘joining in.’”

    The shopkeeper sighed. “Poor fellow. What can I do for you, then?”

    “I intend to focus her attentions elsewhere. And since I’m feeling rather malicious at the moment, I’m willing to take a hit to my alignment by tricking her into drinking a love potion and falling in love with our party’s Chaotic Evil member.”

    The shopkeeper laughed. “Delightful! Let me get my strongest potion from the back.” The shopkeeper left for a moment and returned, holding a bottle with pink liquid in it. “Here. Our most potent potion. Make sure that the Chaotic Evil member is the first thing she sees, however, because she’ll fall in love with whomever she’s looking at the moment it takes effect.”

    Vaarsuvius nodded. “I will remember,” he said, “And thank you. How much do I owe you?”

    “It’s been ages since I’ve seen another elf,” the shopkeeper said, “For you? No charge.”

    Vaarsuvius grinned. “My thanks,” he said, exiting the shop. He went looking for the others. Elan and Haley were off somewhere talking, Durkon was at the temple of Thor praying (and partying, it sounded like), Roy was off at an item shop restocking supplies, and Miko and Belkar were off sulking, Belkar near a tavern, Miko near a park.

    Vaarsuvius chuckled. “Perfect,” he said. He went over to Belkar first. “How would you like to get back at Miko for being so horrible to you?”

    Belkar grinned viciously. “You had me at ‘get back at Miko.’ So what’s the plan?” he asked, drawing his daggers, “Stab out her spleen and then turn her blood into cream cheese?”

    Vaarsuvius paused, actually considering it. “No, I think we’ll save that for someone we want dead.”

    Belkar scowled. “You seem to have forgotten whom you are talking to, here. I don’t do non-lethal,” he said. He then remembered something and scowled. “Or at least I don’t do non-lethal when I’m not under the effects of this stupid curse mark…”

    Vaarsuvius chuckled. “Trust me. What I have planned will make that imbecile paladin regret her arrogance.”

    The two tracked down Miko, who was kneeling in the middle of a grove in the public park and praying. “What do you two want?” she snapped, without opening her eyes.

    Vaarsuvius blinked. “How did you know we were coming?”

    “The halfling stinks. His very odor offends my existence,” Miko said, still not turning around. Belkar, fuming, started to say something, but Vaarsuvius clamped a hand over his mouth.

    “I have simply come to offer you a refreshment,” Vaarsuvius said, “An all-natural fruit drink from a nearby stand.”

    Miko frowned, and gazed at him suspiciously.

    Vaarsuvius shoved Belkar behind him quickly. “There is no ulterior motive here. We will be setting out soon and it would be better for the group if we are all out our best. I have already given drinks to the others.”

    Miko stared at the pink potion, trying to decide whether or not to trust the gesture. Finally, she decided to just be polite. “Thank you,” she said, accepting the potion, “I appreciate the gesture, although I see no reason why the accursed halfling had to accompany you.”

    “Sometimes Belkar needs to have certain concepts reinforced,” he said, “Like such as general politeness.”

    Miko chuckled. “More like all times,” she said, uncorking the bottle and taking a drink. Almost immediately, she staggered, the potion taking effect almost immediately.

    “Now for the fun part,” Vaarsuvius said, picking up Belkar, “Once the love potion takes effect and she falls head over heels for you…”

    “WHOA!” Belkar said, cutting Vaarsuvius’s hand and flipping out of his grasp, “Hot she may be, she’s also a festering bitch and I want nothing to do with her!”

    Before the elven mage could react, Belkar got behind him drop kicked him in the back of his knees, sending him stumbling into Miko’s grasp. “Besides,” Belkar added, grinning viciously, “I think this’ll be funnier.”

    “You fur-footed FOOL!” Vaarsuvius snarled, “Get in front of her now before…”

    “You…” Miko hissed, staring right into the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius gulped hard, and turned, expecting to see his death…

    When Miko suddenly lunged forward and kissed him, needless to say, he was surprised.

    Belkar was quite literally rolling around laughing. “I was right! This WAS funnier!”

    Miko broke the kiss after a long moment, Vaarsuvius struggling in vain to get away from the much stronger woman. “Beloved…” Miko said, “Beautiful, beloved elf, who’s heart is as pure as that of the Gods, who’s beauty outclasses all things… How could I have not realized how wonderful you are?”

    “Madame, please…” Vaarsuvius said, struggling to get his arms free to cast an escape spell.

    Miko held him tight, clutching him to her armored chest. “Feel it, my love… My heart, it thunders with my passion for you… I swear in the name of the Twelve Gods, I will do everything in my power to bring you pleasure.”

    Vaarsuvius whimpered softly. He struggled, managing to get his head to the side so head could breath again. And speak. “Madame… Miss Miyazaki please…”

    Miko looked to the sky, gently stroking the elf’s hair. “I see now… I see now that the Gods have chosen to bless me by bringing us together. For truly there can be no love as strong as ours!”

    That did it. Managing to roll natural 20 on a strength check, he forced his way out of Miko’s grasp. “Madame, while I appreciate your offer, I have to inform you that I am happily married and have two children!”

    Miko blinked, a hurt look coming to her face “You are?”

    Belkar scratched his head, musing on this revelation. “Really? Cause you don’t seem like the ‘settle down and have kids’ type… Very least I bet you don’t pay attention to them much…”

    Vaarsuvius gave the halfling a murderous look before his attention back to Miko. “I hope we can part on even terms, Miss Miyazaki. I know this revelation will hurt you, but I believe it is for the best that we…”

    Vaarsuvius never got to finish his sentence, as Miko just giggled girlishly (an action that got Belkar laughing wildly again), hugging the elf to her chest again.

    “Silly elf,” she said, “It doesn’t matter. Love will conquer all! And if this mate of yours is someone you deemed worthy to let into your heart, then I can love her… him… whichever, just as much!”

    “Sweet merciful Gods…” Vaarsuvius moaned.

    “Yes, yes they are,” Miko agreed, kissing Vaarsuvius lovingly.

    Belkar snickered, and picked up the bottle Miko had dropped. “Crazy Keidraka’s Eternal Love Mixture. Guaranteed to last one human lifetime or the resurrection is free. Warning: Subjects affected become incredibly cheerful and slow to anger. Subjects affected will not listen to reason and simply adjust their romantic delusions accordingly,” he read.

    Vaarsuvius groaned. His plan had backfired so badly… Inkyrius was going to slaughter him…

    “OH!” Miko said, “That reminds me! If your mate has trouble with the concept of our love, perhaps he… she… whatever, would be accepting of me as a pet? I know where I can find a plethora of erotic costumes, as well as the locaiton of a book of species-specific ways of giving physical pleasure.”

    Belkar blinked. “And where would a Stick-Up-Her-Ass Paladin like you know where such things are?”

    Miko blinked, as if noticing Belkar for the first time. “Hm? Oh, I raided a succubus’s den a few months back. It’s all in the evidence locker. I wanted to protect the other paladins from being tempted, so I put a magical seal on them. Only I can access the box they are all stored in.”

    Belkar grinned lavaciously. “Really now… I think maybe you and I should go check these out. I am pretty familiar with V’s tastes, and I think I may know what he’d like.”

    Vaarsuvius tried to protest, but his face was buried in Miko’s armored bosom again.

    At which point, Roy, Durkon, Haley, and Elan showed up.

    “…Do I even want to know what’s going on?” Roy asked.

    Vaarsuvius grinned weakly. “I assure you there is a logical explanation for this. And I am certain I will be able to think of it in fairly short order.”

    Miko grinned, and said, “I have come to the realization that this elf is the greatest living being in the universe and have decided to become his slave for life!”

    Belkar just grinned savagely, tossing them the bottle.

    Durkon facepalmed. Haley began snickering, burying her face in Elan’s shoulder. Roy just shook his head, rubbing his temples. Elan just stared blankly at the bottle. “A love potion…?” he said. His face brightened as an idea came to him, and he declared, “Vaarsuvius is in love with Miko!”

    “And I adore him in return!” Miko said, hugging Vaarsuvius tightly.

    Belkar and Haley collapsed, unable to contain their laughter.

    Vaarsuvius groaned. “I have to reverse this,” he said.

    Roy smirked. “Do that. But consider this: She is SAVAGELY devoted to the law. How will she react to you once the effects of the love potion wore off?”

    Vaarsuvius froze, considering his options.

    ==========================================
    1 month after the Order of the Stick saved the world…
    ==========================================

    Vaarsuvius nervously sat down with his mate, Miko standing loyally by his side. “Kyrie? My beloved? Firstly, I wish to apologize for leaving you alone all this time in my pursuit of power. Secondly… um… before I continue, let me introduce paladin Miko Miyazaki.”

    Miko smiled cheerfully and bowed to Inkyrius, the green-haired elf visibly taken aback. “Greetings oh most worthy wife of my beloved whom I love just as much by extension since my beloved Vaarsuvius deemed you worthy enough to marry his magnificent self therefore you must be just as wonderful,” Miko said, all in a single breath (amazingly enough).

    Inkyrius just stared open-mouthed at Miko, her proclamation having stunned the green-haired elf into silence. Inkyrius then glared at Vaarsuvius, demanding an explanation.

    Vaarsuvius chuckled nervously. “Ah… A potion-based punishment to an associate of mine backfired tremendously… Miko is going to be staying with us a while…”

  11. - Top - End - #1151
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    Thought I'd give this a try... I've only read a handful of the stories but they were all good, and since this looks like fun and Miko is among top 5 favorite characters (yes, I'm odd), I figured I'd take a stab at this.

    Miko/The Snarl

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    Miko Miyazaki died without honor.

    She had slain her lord, accused innocent adventurers (well, technically Belkar wasn’t innocent but he was innocent of… well, most of what she accused him of), and refused to believe in the simple fact that she might, just MIGHT, be wrong. She had destroyed a sacred gate, and moved the world a little closer to destruction. And all the while, she thought she was doing the right thing, the will of the Gods.

    When she found that she had been sent to Hell, she was a little surprised.

    Over three years of torture. Not physical, no. Truth be told, and even she had to admit it after a while, it was quite pleasant, if it violated all her beliefs on intimacy.

    She had two different things happen to her. One, she was effectively forced to become Sabine’s ‘pet,’ the succubus using her for every pleasure imaginable. To top things off, Sabine also forced her to take care of Hell’s stables, and make sure the hellhorses were happy.

    Yes, in that way as well.

    Windstriker tried to free his beloved mistress, but lost a Will save and became one of Sabine’s personal mounts. Miko was strong, however. She could get through this. And as long as Windstriker was safe, she was content.

    If had been just that, she could have adjusted easily. Her views on sex and lust being challenged and violated daily? She could adjust to that. It was humiliating, (especially when Sabine brought that accursed fool Nale in), but she could deal with that. She would not break simply because she was a slave to the perversions of a succubus.

    The problem was that this was Hell. And it never let you have something you could endure so easily. Over and over again, Miko was shown precisely the reasons she had been sent down there. Visions assailed her hourly, showing her that everything she had done that had brought her to this fate over and over again. Shojo’s death, the ‘evil’ monsters she had killed that had actually turned out to be good, Roy telling her the cold hard truth about her character, the brutal, out of line beatings she gave to the Order of the Stick when they didn’t cooperate with her, her own maddened rampages, the destruction of the gate… Over and over the visions assailed her.

    On the eve of the fourth year of her torment in Hell, Miko began to break. Despair began to overtake her as it finally started to sink that she was WRONG, that she was foolishly arrogant and deserved the daily humiliation Sabine and her demonic sisters inflicted upon her daily…

    But even as that despair set in, something else set in: an indignant fury.

    She had made mistakes, certainly… But where had the gods been? Hadn’t she served them loyally, even if it was mistakenly? She had done wrong, certainly, but you think someone who had prayed to them as faithfully had she had would at the very LEAST merit a celestial tap on the shoulder and a whispered “You MIGHT wanna reconsider what you’re doing, here…”

    Miko staggered through the flaming caverns that were near the succubus quarters. The superheated rocks burned her flesh, but she barely noticed. Humiliation, shame, and anger clouded her thoughts, the damned paladin’s mind muddled.

    She collapsed in a cave, sobbing. “WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME!?!!” she screamed to the Gods.

    Abandoned you? a dark, sinister voice chuckled, That would imply they cared about you in the first place.

    Miko looked around, frightened. “Who… Who’s there?!”

    The Gods do not care. They are squabbling children, who only care about their own amusement. If they help the creatures of the world at all, it is because they think it would be FUNNY…

    Miko looked around the cavern frantically. She soon discovered the source of the voice, a tear in back wall of the cavern, one radiating purple energy… And in that rift, two glowing red eyes stared out at her.

    “Get… Get AWAY!!” Miko screamed, frantically backing away.

    I think not, child, the creature said, You are too interesting.

    Energy lanced out of the rift, collapsing the cavern and trapping Miko inside.

    “Oh Gods… What new torments have you come up with for me?!” she moaned.

    The creature chuckled. Silly girl, I mean you no harm. I am called the Snarl. I am what the Gates were meant to keep imprisoned.

    Miko’s blood froze. The very thing the Sapphire Guard had been created to defend against, here before her.

    “Fiend… Whatever you want from me, I will not give!!” Miko hissed.

    Silly child. Once I am through, you will give me EVERYTHING I WANT… And you will give it freely…

    Before Miko could react, tendrils of energy reached out and pulled her into the rift. Screaming, the fallen paladin was pulled in, vanishing in a flash of purple light.

    She found herself in a realm of pure madness. Colors, lights, shadows, shapes, all danced about madly. The effect frightened her worse than anything she had ever endured before.

    “Where… Where am I!?”

    You are with me, child… I am the creation of the Gods…

    Miko shook her head. “You are an abomination! A creature of destruction!”

    As are you, Miko Miyazaki.

    “NO! I am a samurai! A servant of the Twelve Gods!” Miko almost shrieked.

    Then why are you in Hell?

    “I… I was misled… I…” Miko stammered.

    The gods… And not just your twelve gods, but all the gods… They do not care about the world… Neither do I, for that matter, but at least I’m honest about it. I make no pretense of benevolence…

    “You…” Miko stammered, “You are destruction! You are madness and decay…”

    So are you, child.

    “NO!” Miko screamed, “I am noble, I am honorable, I am…”

    You slew innocents simply because their race was classified as evil. You attacked adventurers trying to save the world from… well, me. You slew your noble and just king. You destroyed one of the gates keeping me in check.

    “I did those things because I thought I was protecting justice! That I was doing the will of the Gods!!” Miko screamed, looking about the maddening display.

    And look where that got you.

    Miko had no response. She covered her ears, trying to block out the voice in her head, telling her such things.

    She flinched, the Snarl creating gentle hands to caress her. You are a destructor, child. Just like me.

    “No…” Miko whispered, the Snarl’s etherial hands gently massaging her shoulders, “I am… I am a samurai… A noble paladin of the Sapphire Guard…”

    Think back to all your kills… Did it not feel good to have your blade bite into their flesh? Did it not excite you to cleft heads from shoulders, flesh from bone?

    “The Sapphire Guard is above such desires…” Miko weakly protested. The hands were becoming more bold in their caresses, moving across her back and around to her front.

    To deny yourself is to destroy yourself, child… And you are not the suicidal type. Think back… Think long and hard on how it felt… And tell me truly… Did it feel good?

    Miko moaned, the Snarl’s words forcing her to remember not just the act… But the sensation… The thrill that went through her as she killed… A thrill more than one garnered from doing what she believed was the right thing.

    “Yes…” she moaned, ”It felt good to kill…”

    There we go… Now… What would you like to do to that miserable halfling that the Order of the Stick associates with?

    Fury filled Miko’s body. “I will slay him,” she said.

    Come now. You can be more detailed than that…

    Miko laughed giddily, all her old rage-filled fantasies that she had forcibly suppressed coming forward. “I will flay the skin from his body while he still lives… I will force him to drink acid while listening to children’s music… I will make him pull out his own intestines while saying nice things about puppies and kitties… And then I will make him throttle himself with his own intestines!!!”

    The Snarl seemed to laugh. Not bad. A little bland, but it’s something to work on…

    Miko shook her head, shame at her rage still within her, even as another part of her felt giddy excitement at letting all these suppressed emotions out. “What do you want from me?”

    Quite frankly, Miko, I want you to be mine… I adore you. I have never seen another soul so much like mine… There is a great deal of suppressed rage in you. So much desire to destroy, to rend, to sunder, all buried beneath piety and virtue. But that piety is cracking, now isn’t it?

    “Yes… “ Miko admitted, tears of shame in her eyes.

    The gods do not care about you…

    “Yes…” Miko said, the anger welling up inside her again.

    You served them loyally and without question…

    “Yes…” Miko said, bitterness welling up inside her.

    And yet when you made mistakes, they made no effort to save you.

    “Yes…” Miko said, her voice now a hiss of fury.

    You hate them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, surprising herself at her answer.

    You wish to destroy them…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a smiling crossing her face at how right the answer sounded.

    You with to hurt them, make them pay…

    “Yes,” Miko said with more certainty.

    You wish to rend asunder their works, and then render them asunder as well…

    “Yes…” Miko said, a grin crossing her face, her eyes starting to glow red.

    And you wish to make their chosen defenders, the Order of the Stick, suffer for bringing you to this…

    “Yes… By everything holy or unholy yes…” Miko said.

    Then accept me, the Snarl said, Embrace me, embrace my path. You, my knight of destruction, shall be the key to undoing the gods and their works. Carry me inside you, and slay any who get in your way. Abandon any pretense of piety, or nobility, and embrace the path of True Chaos. Will you embrace me, Miko Miyazaki, and revel in destruction with me?

    Miko closed her eyes. She thought about her options… or at least she tried. The feeling of abandonment, the halfling’s mocking voice, the humiliation she suffered… they dominated her thoughts.

    “I accept,” she whispered.

    The Snarl laughed. Miko gasped, feeling energy flowing into her, strength empowering her. She felt her body swelling, as if she was going to burst. Light, shadow, colors, all flowed around her, all flowed into her, the light blinding her.

    When she regained her vision, she found herself back amongst the living, standing by a riverbed. She looked down at herself, finding her body covered in purple and indigo armor, similar in design to her old paladin garb, but with a more menacing edge to it. What’s more, she found that her belly had swollen out, looking like she was nine months along with triplets. She placed a hand to her swollen stomach, feeling something stirring within.

    It was then she understood.

    “Of course… ‘Carry me inside you,’ it said… I bear the Snarl itself within me…” she said. She held up a hand, dark magic flowing through her and manifesting as a dark blue aura. She grinned savagely, and clenched her fist, a jagged edged katana forming in her hand. “Its power flows through me… Through my own actions, the Snarl can act directly on the world…”

    Miko laughed, delighted. She understood for the first time. She UNDERSTOOD, and it was a liberating feeling. Powerful flowed through her, filling her every pore, begging to be released.

    Chuckling, she looked at herself in the reflection of the nearby river, seeing that her hair had turned white, her eyes now glowing red.

    She chuckled. “It begins… The gates will fall, and the gods will fall soon after…”

    Yes, the Snarl chuckled, the voice now a welcome presence in Miko’s head, And you, my beautiful Knight of Destruction, shall lead the charge, both lover and mother to me.

    Miko grinned savagely. She gestured, summoning Windstriker to her side, the Snarl’s power turning him into a deadly, purple-furred fel beast. She mounted her steed, and said, “And as for the Order of the Stick… Heh. Their suffering shall be endless… As will be my pleasure…”

    I would enjoy a continuation of this, if you are willing to write it.

  12. - Top - End - #1152
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Alrighty, I whipped this up yesterday, and I'm sure I'm going to regret it later, after three readings I still can't find something I want to edit. So I give you the long-awaited update of CoP! :D

    Thoughts?
    Squeeee!

    I love your short fics Sereg.

    Nice first story gosh.

    Wow KnightMysterio... That was really good! Welcome to the thread!
    Miko is going to be staying with us a while…
    *giggles*
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  13. - Top - End - #1153
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    KnightMysterio, I am very much enjoying your stories. I especially enjoy your sense of taste when it comes to the...kinkiness of your characters.

  14. - Top - End - #1154
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Hello to all the even-newer newbies! Some great stuff that I can't really comment on individually atm because of time-constraints, but I'll try in my next post.

    I know it looks like I've been AWOL after my recent spurt of activity, but RL has this crazy habit of putting school, work, and family in the way. Here is a preview of what is to come, in the order in which they shall appear! All are part of 'Miko's Heart':

    Miko - Hinjo
    Miko - Soho
    Miko - IFCC
    Miko - Roy
    Miko - Kubota
    Miko - Sangwaan

    A lot of work is already done on each one, especially Hinjo...I kept reworking it but it never felt right, so I developed a skeleton for the rest of Miko's arc, which you can see [the super-condensed-Cliffnotes version] above. So Hinjo is veryvery close to posting and the rest are in varying degrees of doneness. Not that I would ever intentionally leave a reader hanging
    Last edited by NemoUtopia; 2010-02-01 at 05:49 PM. Reason: eye m gud aht spuling
    Awesome avatar by potatocubed

    Without improvisation, magic is inherently limited

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  15. - Top - End - #1155
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Knightmysterio, the first one was awesome :) I will shortly continue to reading the second one, but first, I'll show you around...
    You are now in our large commons room. Right in front of you are welcoming drinks and some of the spiked stuff Zanaril smuggled in and the buffet. To the left is the longue with a TV and a helluvalot game consoles, games and DVDs, to the right is the artists' corner with some drawing and writing tables and stuff. The large void room in the middle is free to mess around whenever you feel like it. The door next to the longue leads outside to the Brain Bleach Storehouse. The one left to it leads to the restroom. The door next to the artists' corner leads outside to the park and the magetoweresque library where you will find about every compendium, essay etc. you will need. If you would kindly follow me, please... *turns, raises her voice and tells the people in the room that anyone that hasn't grabbed a personal room yet may follow her and choose one*
    *goes to a bookshelf that seems to be let into the wall*
    This bookshelf contains our most recent works.
    *pulls out a brown book with the rosé caption "When the sakura blossoms bloom". The bookshelf folds and reveals a door behind it*
    This door here goes to the personal rooms.
    *opens. the room behind is dark. lights some candles, then pulls one of the candleholders at the wall to the side. A narrow staircase lowers itself from the ceiling*
    This lever here will lower the staircase from the ceiling so you can go up. The lever over there lowers the one in the floor which leads to the cellar. In the cellar we store wine, junk and you can put your dirty stuff into the washing machines. The floor heating system is directed from there, too. But for now, I will show you around upstairs. *goes up*
    With the lever upstairs, you can move the stairs again into their original position. On this floor there's the kitchen. We have a pulley system to quickly exchange empty dishes from below on the buffet with full ones. Down the hallway there are several soundproof, large rooms equipped for various occassions. Optional Equipment can be found in those lockers over there. Please follow me upstairs.
    We have two floors with 21 20m² rooms with at least one window each. Floor plan will be updated within the next week. In the middle are four bathrooms and separate restrooms.
    The last level is a roof-deck. I believe Kyuubi left me several parasols and stuff, I should get myself to set them up.

    Oh, I almost forgot, I planted some monks kress at the bottom of this building and in time, our library tower will be covered in wine. If you have a green thumb, feel free to help me out.

    Now you're free to grab a room or go down into the commons room. Have fun!



    I haven't posted anything in the last few days... Well, I'll link a leetle sketch then: Little sketch that isn't all-too-well-drawn.

    On an unrelated note, to which afterlife would Therkla go? Northern/Southern (Southern I think)? Good/Neutral/Evil (Neutral at least)? Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic (no idea)? I need to know in order to get my Lord Shojo/Therkla in the afterlife (I laughed when I rolled that up and thought "Well I can see THAT one happen...") in a state of works because both get into the same afterlife or doesn't work because they don't and I need to tweak around a bit to make it work, but currently it's somewhere in between.
    (I posted this question somewhere on page 27, but it seems to have gone unnoticed. If someone answered and I didn't notice, I'm sorry)
    Last edited by Eztheria; 2010-01-31 at 11:09 AM.

  16. - Top - End - #1156
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by NemoUtopia View Post
    Miko - Soho
    Miko goes to England?

    Also...I'm glad to see where Miko finally seems to end up.
    Last edited by Raging Gene Ray; 2010-01-31 at 11:47 AM.

  17. - Top - End - #1157
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Eztheria View Post
    Oh, I almost forgot, I planted some monks kress at the bottom of this building and in time, our library tower will be covered in wine. If you have a green thumb, feel free to help me out.
    I'm fairly certain you mean vines. But, then again, you never know.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Wow. Quite a lot of new talent in the past couple of days.

    And I say "Talent" literally.
    Attic, Roman, Egyptian or Babylonian Talent?
    Last edited by Asta Kask; 2010-01-31 at 11:38 AM.
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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  18. - Top - End - #1158
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Eztheria View Post
    On an unrelated note, to which afterlife would Therkla go? Northern/Southern (Southern I think)? Good/Neutral/Evil (Neutral at least)? Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic (no idea)? I need to know in order to get my Lord Shojo/Therkla in the afterlife
    Rich said in the commentary of the latest book (I hear) that Therkla was intended to be a sort of spokesperson for Neutrality. Looking out for herself above all, but unable to grasp Evil's need to destroy Good and vice versa. She just can't understand why Kubota can't go over there, Elan's friends go over there, and she keep her boyfriend AND her father figure.

  19. - Top - End - #1159
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    I'm fairly certain you mean vines. But, then again, you never know.
    Wine vines to be specific.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    Rich said in the commentary of the latest book (I hear) that Therkla was intended to be a sort of spokesperson for Neutrality. Looking out for herself above all, but unable to grasp Evil's need to destroy Good and vice versa. She just can't understand why Kubota can't go over there, Elan's friends go over there, and she keep her boyfriend AND her father figure.
    Ah, thank you. Hm, now how do I get these two alignments into one pot...? Oh well, I have enough time during lessons tomorrow to sink my teeth into that one.
    Last edited by Eztheria; 2010-01-31 at 12:34 PM.

  20. - Top - End - #1160
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Eztheria View Post
    Wine vines to be specific.
    ...you mean grape vines?

  21. - Top - End - #1161
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Eztheria View Post
    and some of the spiked stuff Zanaril smuggled in
    Smuggled? You do realize that I'm the bartender here? I supply all the drinks.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-01-31 at 11:56 AM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I think I actually had my fingers crossed when Reddy was trying to decide whether to go with V or stay.
    The sad part is that I knew what would happen, yet I had my fingers crossed too.

    Right-Eye is probably rolling in his grave.


    [QUOTE]And now I'm sure that the creature with the bundle is somehow related to V. It seemed to be angry that Reddy didn't stay for some reason...

    Hmmm... you did metion something about time travel a while back. I really am starting to suspect that it's future Crazy!V, or at least something like that.[/QUOTE

    *cackles maniacally*

    *insert edits from Meg and Zanaril here*
    Thanks guys! I'll fix it up. ^.^

    Quote Originally Posted by Eztheria View Post
    I haven't posted anything in the last few days... Well, I'll link a leetle sketch then: Little sketch that isn't all-too-well-drawn.
    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D :D :D


    Hey, guys, how do you think Redcloak would react if he found out what Master did to Tiasal? How do you think he would react if he had raped her?

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  23. - Top - End - #1163
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    Miko goes to England?

    Also...I'm glad to see where Miko finally seems to end up.
    Don't be so sure. Miko - Sangwaan is not actually the final installment and will be an extra-long installment, with the plot-twist/multiple-rerolls attached to it. Expect to see Qarr, The IFCC, Matsumo (a.k.a. random dead Sapphire Guard member), Soho, and Karla (a.k.a. random Wizard NPC) in Miko - Saangwan leading to the actual final installment: THE CHOICE (and consequences, because everyone loves those).
    Awesome avatar by potatocubed

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  24. - Top - End - #1164
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by NemoUtopia View Post
    Don't be so sure. Miko - Sangwaan is not actually the final installment and will be an extra-long installment, with the plot-twist/multiple-rerolls attached to it. Expect to see Qarr, The IFCC, Matsumo (a.k.a. random dead Sapphire Guard member), Soho, and Karla (a.k.a. random Wizard NPC) in Miko - Saangwan leading to the actual final installment: THE CHOICE (and consequences, because everyone loves those).
    *contented sigh*
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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  25. - Top - End - #1165
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    ...you mean grape vines?
    err. yes, probably. translation error. I hate these, especially if I make them. Thank you.

    @water-smurf glad you like them

  26. - Top - End - #1166
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Hey, guys, how do you think Redcloak would react if he found out what Master did to Tiasal? How do you think he would react if he had raped her?
    He'd remind the rest of Team Evil that just because they view him as the goody-two-shoes bitch, doesn't mean he can't stand up for himself and for those he cares about. I don't think he could get away with killing the Master - for one thing it undermines Xykon's threat - but I don't think the Master would go crying to Xykon if Reddy gave him a few broken ribs (or worse). Actually, I think the Master would have more to worry about from Xykon in case the Lich found out he'd disobeyed him.

    This is assuming Reddy's more powerful than the Master; the Master's probably a reasonably high level, but so is Redcloak. Even if the Master is more powerful, he's also an old man and physically weaker than Reddy. With a little bit of planning Reddy could probably catch him at a time when he's used most his spells and - if all else fails - knock him out with a baseball bat.


    If Tiasal was raped because of something Reddy did, it gets a little more complicated. If Reddy gets caught trying to get revenge at the Master it's going to get both him and Tiasal in worse trouble. In that case, he might try to get revenge a little more stealthily, althought I don't know how. But whatever he did, he wouldn't act unless he was sure he wouldn't get caught.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Right-Eye is probably rolling in his grave.
    Did he even get a grave?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-01-31 at 01:59 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    That said, I think we can all be pretty sure that, if he could do something without consequences, he'd rip the Master into shreds.

  28. - Top - End - #1168
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Excuse my nooby shnoobynes but are the stories excluded to all OOts character or can it be a character made by the author and a OOTS character? I fso brainstorming will be happening soon
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  29. - Top - End - #1169
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    Excuse my nooby shnoobynes but are the stories excluded to all OOts character or can it be a character made by the author and a OOTS character? I fso brainstorming will be happening soon
    You can pretty much do whatever you want as long as your OC isn't based too closely on a real person and you don't violate board rules. One thing to note is that people tend to skip reading fics with characters they don't know very well, so you'd probably get less feedback for a ship with an OC.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  30. - Top - End - #1170
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    And i'm back.

    Did i miss anything?

    *Goes to check what's been going on while i was gone*

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