Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition III: Now with 50% more DigoDragon

[goto124]

Stellar: “Hang on, if Moonshadow's a 30 minute flight away and Stellar is just circling the wagon at height in a vague search for firewood, how does she see her?”
GM: “The magic of friendship! (Going to fix that).”

What happened with the "you're in my debt/I'm in your debt" thing?

Doc: “I think trying to convince Andante to change her mind is like convincing a wall that it is a firetruck.”

Convince her that she's a firewall, then.

Moon: “… the sex was fairly amazing as well.”

Should've considered that possibility

[Senshi Akai]

Convince her that she's a firewall, then.

I just spilled coffee in my screen. I hope you are happy.

[DigoDragon]

What happened with the "you're in my debt/I'm in your debt" thing?

Other than the 'cough' and minor correction it didn't seem to go anywhere.

Should've considered that possibility 0-0

I have no comments for it. ^^; Only Viridia and Moonshadow have seen that kind of action. Plus Doc isn't with the pegasi in that scene. He was elsewhere trying to convince some ponies that when it's 32 below, fire is good.

I just spilled coffee in my screen. I hope you are happy.

I only wish I had thought of it first.

[Bard1cKnowledge]

GM you meet with a faulty stocky half long with a full beard.
My one shot barbarian Garlbog
It's a dwarf, we used to toss these guys back in the arena.

[Necroticplague]

"If it has balls, I can stunlock it!"
"Darnit, there goes my plans for the testicle hydra."

[Fumble Jack]

"I stealthily move into the fetal position"


Our table paused cracking up for about 15 minutes after this was said.

[Bard1cKnowledge]

Grab it by the tentacles and use shocking grasp!

It was a Gnell (brains with a beak )

[AdmiralCheez]

"So, we're not throwing the tank off the train now?"

"Okay, we're going to fly in low and... oh, never mind. He already jumped."

"I'm gonna portal-fist him."
"Uhh.... you might want to rephrase that."

"I can store 50 tons of stuff in here. I thought that would be enough to just handwave weight rules, and yet here we are making sacrifices in the second session."

[DigoDragon]

"If it has balls, I can stunlock it!"

Oww...

---

Doc: “If I need to make rolls here and my results are screwy like in the early days, we're all in trouble.”

Stellar: “I know it's a coincidence, but I can provide evidence.” [Supplies link]
Viridia: “Doesn't count. You could be using time travel.”
Stellar: “Not even edited!”

Moon: “You know it's a bad day when getting ambushed and shot by a griffon doesn't even make the list.”

GM: “I want to know everyone's thoughts on what the endgame for this game is going to look like!"
Doc: “My theory is that the endgame involves us destabilizing one or more of the current big powers (The al-Hazards, the Olives, and the Servants).”
Viridia: “I think we're going to do what Doc said, only it turns out that the Olives have been doing this for centuries to prevent war between ponies and zebras, who will inevitably go to war, and we'll have to choose between destroying all Olives, controlling their minds, or combining zebras with ponies to make sure it never happens again.”

Moon: “I think the end game will be Viridia seducing every single female character, and effectively exterminating most of Tauronto since no new foals are being born.”
Viridia: “You've forgotten the lesbian magic babies. Silly Moonshadow!”

Doc: “Still, if it is the Roach King (or another changeling-ish type of critter), well... good luck avoiding the role of being the main course.”

Moon: “If I'm right, we're about to have a climatic duel against the Roach King right now, which likely means I'm wrong.
Doc: “But even if you're wrong, there are two pegasi coming to rescue you against one opponent, leaving just one PC to protect two NPCs that may be in trouble: 2 plus 1 plus 1 plus 2.”

Stellar: (Hugs Doc) “This shouldn't take more than a few hours. But if we're not back by morning carry on without us and we'll catch up.”
Doc: “Alright then. You both be careful now. If trouble crosses your paths, try not to make 'em cry too much.”
Viridia: “Bye, y'all. I'd hug you, Doc, but it might get you pregnant.”

Doc: *Peeks inside Andante’s sleeping bag to ensure she’s okay*
GM: “It was too dark to see Andante at first, but Doc heard something shift, and retract farther inside the bag.”
Andante: (Poking her head out) “Wagon, I am flattered but you are freshly engaged.”
Doc: (Jokingly) “And here I thought my biggest hurdle was a Y-chromosome.”

Doc: “Well, your nose doesn't seem to agree with you.”

Viridia: “I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts~ Here they are, all sitting in a row~”

GM: “Headlines like 'Merpony caught in south Anterlantic!', '34 pound Ladybug found under barn!' and 'Batpony Colt Found in Cave!!”
Doc: “Huh, coupons for Barnyard Bargains.”

Northern: “Don't think spending a night in a goat shrine's a fine thing to do.”
Doc: (Gag motion) “I'd rather spend a night with Special Snowflake.”

[Bard1cKnowledge]

Lerissa: I want a scroll of unseen servant
Brandywine: I think you have a problem.

[goto124]

Viridia: “Bye, y'all. I'd hug you, Doc, but it might get you pregnant.”

Mare gets the stallion pregnant? O-o

[Cazero]

Mare gets the stallion pregnant? O-o

Magic. Lesbian. Babies.
I bet they can get anyone pregnant.

[DigoDragon]

Magic. Lesbian. Babies.
I bet they can get anyone pregnant.

At least Viridia could. I think it's her super power.

[Inevitability]

Me: Oh god, you're going to solo another dragon?
Warlock: Hell yes I am.

[DeafnotDumb]

Lady Blackbird: Wig-bearers! I'm turning!

[DigoDragon]

Me: Oh god, you're going to solo another dragon?
Warlock: Hell yes I am.

I'm reminded of a fight between a well-equipped 18th level party of five (two Rangers, Cleric, Druid, & Rogue/Sorcerer combo) against a 20th level Warlock boss encounter (He had a pair of 12th level kobold rogues for minions). The druid had dragonshape and used it to become a red dragon. The warlock took him down in two rounds purely on well-played tactics.

[shelledhound]

Player: Give me a moment I have to come to terms with the fact this campaign actually has direction now.


Player: can I refluff spiritual weapon to be a boot?


Player: So I am a tree and the mooks have surrounded me. I proceed to climb the tree to escape.
Me: wait, what!?
Player: troll logics

[Dimers]

DM: I had a stomachache earlier today, and I assumed it was caused by Communism, so I had a rare steak. And now I feel completely better, so clearly I was right.

Dee: Can I borrow the tape?
Nicole: It's yours for $200 ...
Dee: So's your mother.

Random raven sent to spy on us: What are you doing? Humans can't fly!
Gehn: We're not humans, we're macaroni birds.

Gehn: How about Mount Stromboli? That's usually erupting.
Catherine: I could really go for a stromboli.
Everybody: That's what she said.

DM: Yes, her character is here, but her head is in a bag.

Catherine: Do we see the salamanders?
DM: No --
Marga: -- they turned invisible.
Gehn: Like Imhotep.
DM: "Look around you."

DM: You have a small chirality failure as you attempt to proceed up the mountain, so you head down the mountain. You are now floating a few inches above a veritable river of banana pudding ...

DM: Real salamanders are disgusting eely things, they're like tubular frogs.

DM: It doesn't hurt those lizards to drop their tails. It's like a cross between a booster rocket and a child sacrifice.

Catherine: \m/
DM: I've never seen that gesture used in reference to tapioca before.

Catherine: I look around for the "nice people" she mentioned ...
Marga: Hey, I'm nice!
Catherine: So is Mimi.
Herr Klaus von Steiner: Yeah, but she's not a person.
DM: Right. Please don't anthropomorphize the mime.

[TurboGhast]

Varis: The plan is to set up a SUPER ULTRA MEGA TV TRIAL! Or the medieval equivalent.

Varis: I'm getting tired of waiting for this. I judge the king as guilty of being a tyrant!
Lawyer: What? WHAT? This isn't even a trial for him and-
Varis: Chromatic Orb!
King: Ahhhhhhhh! *Jumps off boat*
Lawyer: I don't know what's going on! *Knocks judge off boat*
Noble: This is for framing me! *Knocks Queen off boat*

[JohnTheSavage]

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, there's more than one "the desert" on this planet."

R: Having arrived, Oxy is trying to find a way in that doesn't involve breaking and entering.
D: Oxy finds that at Ramus's villa is a sort of party or ball. If he could some how pull of the appearance of a Nobleman he may be able to gain Entrance.
Oxy: "Screw it."
R: Oxy just tries walking in through the front door.

Aspa: "Doctor? Doctor Who?"
22: "No I mean the character silly! Doctor Who is on your planet as well?"
Aspa: "What?"
22: "No it's not called Doctor What, its Doctor Who!"
Aspa: "Who is this Doctor, do I need to prepare for a fight, will this man try and hurt Callins?"
22: "No silly, The Doctor is a pacifist!"
Aspa: "You are confusing me 22."
22: "Aaaaaaw, we had such a good Abbot and Costello routine going there. Oh well.

[DigoDragon]

Player: Give me a moment I have to come to terms with the fact this campaign actually has direction now.

Heeheehee, I'll be just as surprised when it happens in the campaign I'm in. XD

[Socksy]

Spoiler: context

Show

Running an encounter for my brother, and I have about twenty or thirty tabs up. He's summoned an advanced skeletal megaraptor.

Me, OOC: "Hang on a minute, I've lost the dinosaur."
My brother, IC, thinking my NPC was speaking: "HOW DID YOU LOSE A DINOSAUR?!"

[ImSAMazing]

Me: Oh god, you're going to solo another dragon?
Warlock: Hell yes I am.

Of course he is

[GPuzzle]

Kat: "What on Earth is Sean doing?"
James: "Being Irish, I think."

Adrian: "Palla, don't panic, but I think that a raven has just sit on your head."
Palla: "What's the next step, a madman hearing a beat heart of a man he murdered and stuffed under his own floor?"
Adrian: "I think that James has been doing that since we entered Edgar Allan Poe's house."

James: "We have two options. Try to stop Cthulhu from being summoned or go back to Poe's house and start the descent into madness, stopping Cthulhu from turning us into full-on madmen."
Sean: "My last name is still Henderson."
Kat: "Buckle up your seatbelt, this is gonna be a bumpy ride."

Adrian: "Kat, who let Sean drive the oil trucker?"
Kat: "It's gotten to the point that this is necessary."
Palla: "Is he singing Amhrán na bhFiann?"
Kat: "Yes."
Palla: "Adrian, get the fireworks."

[Bard1cKnowledge]

From the adventures league I ran yesterday

The dragon born paladin: HERE! RUB MY UNICORN HORN OF JUSTICE! IT WIPL HEAL YOU!

[5ColouredWalker]

I'm reminded of a fight between a well-equipped 18th level party of five (two Rangers, Cleric, Druid, & Rogue/Sorcerer combo) against a 20th level Warlock boss encounter (He had a pair of 12th level kobold rogues for minions). The druid had dragonshape and used it to become a red dragon. The warlock took him down in two rounds purely on well-played tactics.

My party has encountered 3 adult dragons as random encounters.
Each time said dragon has died within 2 rounds due to damage. 2 of which with only two players participating.
Dragons start becoming a lot less scary when that happens.

[DaedalusMkV]

One from a little while back.

NPC Guard: Who goes there?
Polymorphed Wizard: I'm one of the scouts! There's an attack coming, and they'll be here any minute!
Wizard OOC: Bluff of... 19. That's almost as good as I can do.
*Other players start to facepalm*
GM (Me): I'll give you a huge circumstance bonus on that bluff, considering it's the unmodified truth. They believe you, and begin to raise the alarm.
Fighter (using a Message spell that was cast beforehand): Well, I guess they are distracted raising the alarm. But the point was to sneak attack them before they could alert the rest of the camp!
Wizard: Oh, yeah. I didn't really think that bluff through...

Much, much farther back.

DM: There are two graves near the garden, behind the farmhouse. Both are clearly open, either dug up or not filled in. There are no bodies inside.
Paladin: NECROMANCERS! Everyone, watch out for undead. I Detect Evil, starting with the coffins and sweeping around until I find something.
DM: You get no sense of evil from anywhere within the area.
Druid: You seem to be jumping to conclusions, friend. It seems rash to simply assume that an open grave means grave robbers are about.
Paladin: You'll see. It's grave-robbing Necromancers looking for bodies to desecrate. We'll be fighting off an undead army within a week if we don't find them first.
Sorcerer: Seriously, this is the fifth time you've either called Necromancers or Devils this campaign, and we're only level 2. Just stop it.

Two days later:

Paladin: Well, that appears to be an ominous black Wizard's tower. And that looks like a pile of discarded coffins. I think we've found our undead army.
Sorcerer: Wow, you might actually have called this one right. Okay, let's be careful here. Rogue, could you check that door for traps?

After fighting the Necromancer and his undead minions, then the Imp who had been masterminding the whole plot:

Sorcerer: So, wait. It was actually Necromancers and Devils the entire time, and the Paladin was right from the beginning?
DM: Basically, yeah. Though the Imp was taking orders from someone else.
Paladin: I can smell evil. Of course I was right.
Druid: He's going to be insufferable for weeks...

[DigoDragon]

Temporarily out of Fallout Equestria quotes. Posting an unrelated campaign~

Autumn Gale: “I've just realized your picture of Morning Star is self-drawn! Very impressed."
Reuben Rye: “Ditto. Seems like the bar has been doubled and I'd be remiss to not meet this challenge.”
Sleepy Tyme: “And here I was, thinking I was special for using Paint.net.”
Reuben: “Don't sell yourself short. You got one of the most impressive cutie mark designs. By comparison what does Reuben have? A sandwich.png I found on Google.”

Autumn: “That does rather beg the question...”
Sleepy: “What question?”
Autumn: “Which cutie mark is the most impressive?”
Reuben: “Please don't make me choose.”

Sunlight Sonnet: “I've arrived! About time, too. I was getting tired of having no internet. ...Or lights in the bathroom. That gets a little irritating.”

Autumn: “Reuben's born and raised in Ponyville, runs a successful sandwhich shop, probably knows everyone.”
Reuben: “Technically it's still his pop's shop, but otherwise Reuben likely knows most folks who stop by regularly for lunch.”
Sleepy: “Sleepy went in once, bought the most expensive sandwich, then went home and froze it. She duplicates it every few days and eats the duplicate. She's pirating sandwiches, basically.”
Sunlight: “See, that'd make it taste funny methinks.”
Sleepy: “Maybe, but it’s fun to think about. Her acting suspiciously at a certain time of day, everyone getting curious, following her as she sneaks into a hidden room of her home, pulling open an old ivory box and creaking it open to reveal...a frozen sandwich. And it's treated like a dark secret that horrifies everyone.”

Reuben: “This is one of those moments where the player is laughing to the point of tears, but the character is just tears.”

GM: “Aaaaand, mark! We're off the rails. Saw this one coming, really.”
Brass Monocle: “Well, this is a new record for all the campaigns I've been in.”

Autumn: *Posts image of her character*
Sleepy: “My immediate urge is to make a dirty joke, but she's a pony. WHAT DO?!”
GM: “.......Well, I haven't questioned my sexuality in a while. May as well catch up on it now.”

Autumn: “The Equine Torch? I haven't read that one since I was little! What was her catch phrase again? Fire? Fire! Fire now! Fire Go! No, that's not it. Flame! Ah yes, I remember... ‘FLAME ON!’”
Reuben: “Whoa, somepony's hot to trot.”
Autumn: “Heh, you think so?” (Flaming Pony moonwalk)

Sleepy: “Wow, Autumn, you're on fire! Autumn Gale is gonna kick some ash! Nobody is gonna be unblazed by her!”

Windigo: “Ice to see you again, foalish citizens of Mettrotpolis! I, Windigo, will soon rule this city in my icy grip! Feel free to bring your offerings, tributes, and other assorted groveling to my lair at the Mettrotpolis Skating Rink, or risk getting left out in the cold! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!”

Reuben: “To the skating rink! …Um, anypony know which way is the rink?”

Sunlight: “Aww, shots fired already? I was just warming up to you guys. Maybe this will get you to chill out!”

Windigo: “Snow down and relax, heroes! You can’t defeat me! Not with pathetic carnival tricks like that! Watch as I shift this machine into maximum overdrive, and bring you to a cold grave! Say freeze!”
Sunlight: “Chill out, man, you're killing the mood here. You really need a new way to break the ice! You keep giving your guests the cold shoulder like this and they'll have a real hard time warming up to you! You'll feel so Ice-olated. In fact, that kind of attitude is why we can't have ice things!”
Sleepy: “Also, 'cold grave' doesn't really count as a pun!”

[Bard1cKnowledge]

Player: You'll turn off the sewer system when we go in to explore.....right?
Me and for the first time in her life, the Sgt managed to crack a smile and let out a chuckle. It was truly a miracle in Mulmaster

[THEChanger]

P1: CAN I ADOPT HIM?
P2: Can we keep him safe in the portable hole.
DM: Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
P1: REALLY?
DM/P2: NOT YOU!

P1: No troll nanny.
P3: But the troll nanny is a beautiful shinning flower. I'll put an apron on it.
P2: Do not put a troll in the hole.

P4: I'm also going to send my ruffled shirt I stole from the captain's clothes.
P2: Why? He has his own clothes.
P4: You're right. I'll keep it to show off my glorious chest hair.
P1: Aren't you a woman?

P2: I want to wear just my breastplate!
P1: Wouldn't that chafe?
P2: Alright, some socks too.